Letters to “Lacey” Part 12

Posted on April 5, 2015 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

While Phill did 95% of the work, Emma did choose the colors she wanted for her room

After Emma’s room was painted, Phill put together the bed/desk that Emma had chosen from Ikea. Emma Roey . Emma Katherine Roey. Emma Kate Roey.

This picture of Rob, one of the kids from Emma’s youth group, shows the curtains Emma chose for her room. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

May 20, 2009

(Three days later Emma starts another letter. The first paragraph is about how she finished The Secret Lives of Bees and she repeats a discussion we had at book club.)

Emma states that “Lacey” implied that she was bored without school to keep her occupied, so Emma made a list of suggestions with the one that trumps the rest, according to Emma, is that she could babysit, T., the little girl Emma babysat for. Emma says to just say the word, and Emma will send her there for the summer. Her mom would be THRILLED for “Lacey” to babysit as long as she could survive and Emma promises that she would never be bored.

Emma goes on to say she compiled a list of more viable suggestions: “Lacey” can volunteer to cook every meal for her family. She can teach herself how to knit and then make Emma a sweater. She can memorize the Bible. (The whole thing, not just parts of it.) She can illustrate her favorite verses. She can try to communicate telepathically with an animal, family member, or inanimate object. She can take lots of pictures. She can write letters, poems, and stories. She can cut up paper into little pieces. (Emma says this can amuse some of her little friends for hours.) She can ask Emma to forward Jordan’s texts to her and see if she can translate them into English. (They are even more challenging than those monster Sudoku puzzles that Emma tried and gave up after 5 minutes.) There’s another one, “Lacey” can try Sodoku. She can take things apart and try to put them back together. (Starting with the computer is not recommended because her “rents” will not be happy if she fails at the putting-it-back-together part.) Try to draw something. (Emma states she does not have the attention span and totally lacks skill for art.) “Lacey” can call Emma’s friend Erika, and let her talk to “Lacey.” She can take one shoe (not a pair) out of someone’s closet once a day every day and see how long it takes them to figure out something’s going on. She can put food colors in leftovers (green works well). She can change the background on the family computer. She can sew sequins around the neckline of a plain shirt which Emma says she does have the patience for, and besides it looks pretty! Go to any store and get a shopping cart full of stuff and try to unload it into other people’s carts without them noticing. Color code a family member’s closet. Get a bendy pencil. Label everything “Lacey” can think of including food, furniture, and people. Let little kids color her feet and hands in washable markers……………

(And yes, Emma definitely knows about the food coloring! Once, after I cooked some squash, Emma put green food coloring in the leftovers so that I would think it went bad and she wouldn’t have to eat it again! Even though I knew I’d made the squash the day or two before, I didn’t feel comfortable eating it. I kept asking Emma if she put food coloring in it and she denied, denied, denied, so she won that one, and I threw it away. It was some time later that Emma did admit she put food coloring in the squash.)

Emma says mentioning the washable markers reminds her of something she hasn’t told “Lacey” about. She was helping with VBS and Jordan’s mom told her to help her with the tie-dye project, and it did not occur to Emma to wear gloves, so her hands were bright red, blue, and yellow for weeks before they even began to fade. It had to be a full three months before the stains were completely gone.

(This is another example of a little exaggeration, or maybe a lot. Emma came home with a little dye on her hands, just splotches. It washed out after some hand washing and a few showers, so her hands were NOT brightly colored for weeks.)

Emma tells Lacey about her grandmother (Harriett Roey, Phill’s mom) sending her a newspaper clipping about people dying trying to escape from Haiti, and mentions how her grandmother thought she would support Emma’s endeavor of going on a mission trip by sending her depressing news stories.
Emma has just gotten her passport and travel itinerary and tells Lacey she will be leaving with Eternal Hope of Haiti at 3am on Wed. June 17th, fly to Ft. Lauderdale, and then on to Port-au-Prince where the group will take a puddle-jumper to the mission site. Emma says it is really hitting home that she is going to a third world country with 6 people, 5 of whom she has never met, traveling internationally and by herself for the first time. She needs some serious prayers!

(Odd that Emma claims to only know 5 of 6 people, as both the Nurse Practitioners, and the husband of the director of Eternal Hope went on the trip. One of these ladies was the neighbor that Emma later claimed was drunk when she went over to get instructions on pet sitting for her.)

Emma talks about doing some closet cleaning, and then about getting her new swim suit that she loves, stating that it is modest as far as swimsuits go. (See picture in earlier post.)

Emma asks “Lacey” what she is doing about school the next year. She knew “Lacey” wasn’t returning to Georgia Virtual School (GAVS), and she thought she might be going to public school, and if she is, how does she feel about it? Emma says he prays that it won’t be the H*** for “Lacey” that it was for Emma, if she must endure it at all. Emma tells “Lacey” not to ride the bus if at all possible and to let her know if she is going because she has a lot more survival tips she can give “Lacey.” (No joke. Emma thinks there should be a transition course.)

Emma says she may be staying in GAVS the next year, but we aren’t sure. She is not sure how she feels. Math online is difficult, but she will get through it. She sort of would like to try a hybrid school like Heritage Academy, and she applied there last year, but we were turned down because the branch where we lived was very Baptist. She says she understands they are not all like that, but this one was, and she was pretty upset at the time.
(Our friend Sandi’s sons, Derek McCravy and Johnathan McCravy both went to a Heritage Academy.)

May 21, 2009

Emma starts out complaining, “Ugh…” that the youth group is doing a Spaghetti Lunch on Pentecost Sunday, May 31st to raise money for their mission trip. It is so much work to coordinate that she just feels drained. She was at it all day with e-mail updates, making phone calls, answering questions, etc. The junior youth group was supposedly in charge of planning, but it is really Emma, the deacon, and Ms. Karen (youth group leader) who were doing the important stuff. Emma was finding acolyte subs and coordinating music. Finding acolyte subs entails calling the L. family (remember them?) since their daughter is the only non-youth group acolyte. Emma didn’t get them, but left a message and really hopes they just don’t call back so she can just pull and adult for the senior acolyte and that will be that.

(So, now who’s the control freak? Emma along with the deacon and the youth group leaders are the only ones working on the trip? And what is this about coordinating music? Nooooooo, that was not something Emma did. Emma played the piano for services when the organist was out. She played what she was told to, and had nothing to do with coordinating music.)

Emma says she called Evan and Nick because they are the only other musically inclined members. Nick was unsure about contributing, and if he won’t play, that is more work for the rest of them, but Evan’s mom is an orchestra conductor, so he wants to get a grou together to play jazz. So far, it looks like three of them will play; Emma, Evan, and Evan’s friend whose name she can’t remember. Evan plays violat and his friend plays the violin, and “Lacey” knows that Emma plays piano. Emma is a bit nervous because she has never played in a group before. Being homeschooled, and an only child, Emma says she has not had much in the way of opportunity. There are a few homeschool marching bands, bt for some reason, they don’t want a pianist. Emma wonders why. Anyway, after Nick’s response, Emma felt encouraged to see some enthusiasm.

Emma says she is worried about the deacon fussing at her for doing too much at her own discretion. The junior youth group (as she said) should be in charge of all aspects of planning, but they simply aren’t getting it done. Despite the fact that it would teach them a lesson, Emma didn’t think it was right to keep discussing things like they were final while keeping everyone else out of the loop. Emma knows from doing the fashion show how hard it is to work up a score on short notice, so even though it is not her job, she went ahead and started coordinating the music. It’s like, she doesn’t want to and she shouldn’t have to, but with things the way they are with no immediate sign of possible change, she thought it was better to ask forgiveness than permission. If you’ve volunteered someone for something, it’s only common courtesy to let them know. Not that Emma would ever remind the deacon of that, but it’s true.

(Ok, I’m understanding why, when my attorney read these letters he said Emma was all about control. And what is this about “work up a score?” Excuse me? Emma played the only songs she knew well and that was songs from Les Miserables and from Phantom of the Opera. “Work up a Score?” That’s pretty funny? It sounds like she was writing a musical. It was a little embarrassing that Emma played the same songs for both the Mother’s Day brunch and the Spaghetti Lunch because it looked like Emma didn’t know anything else, but no one seemed to mind hearing the same music over again.)

Next, Emma starts talking about how we are going to IKEA the following day to get some bookshelves and a desk for her room. Apparently they were having a really good sale, so sayeth her dad. (Phill was a BIG IKEA fan.) Emma says she desperately needs storage space, so she is excited about going to IKEA, and she will try to send “Lacey” a picture when her shelves are up.

Next Emma talks about Twilla (Of Eternal Hope of Haiti) and her daughter Hope stopping by because Hope wanted Emma to take care of their dog. Twilla had more information about Emma’s trip and Emma will be rooming with Leah, a Korean medical student from Emory. Emma also says that she will need about $70 in ones on her at all times.

May 27, 2009

Emma complains that she hasn’t had much time to write due to home renovations. She states we were working a bit on her room. She figures by the time she moves out, she’ll have it the way she wants and says “no pessimism there or anything.” Emma talks about going to IKEA and how huge lines and misdirection made the trip a couple of hours longer than it should have been.
(Ummmmmmmm, not exactly. We re-did Emma’s room and she had complete control over what she wanted from paint down to furniture. We spent a lot of time looking at IKEA while Emma decided on a bed, and we at lunch at the restaurant. There was one time there were lines at the cashiers, but they moved quickly, so the whole “huge lines and misdirection” was a gross exaggeration.)

Emma talks about church and about going to a cookout for Memorial Day at the home of one of Emma’s “Aunts” from the rescue.

Emma talks about the youth group and about calling, Ari, a youth group member. Emma states that she and Ari were both bored so they talked for almost an hours. Emma claims Ari has never been hostile, but they just have differences about politics, morals, and many other things. Emma says they avoided conflict though, and even though Emma thinks Ari is a closet psycho Marist, she likes her on a personal level. BTW, says emma, if you haven’t done much study of Marxism, the basic philosophy is “From each according to their ability, to each according to their need.” Emma says extreme political philosophies are an area of interest to her, and complains that most people use the terms Communism, Socialism, Marxism, and Fascism interchangeably and that is one of her pet peeves. She tells “Lacey” the next time she hears someone use one of those terms to ask them what it means and 90% of the time, they won’t be able to tell you.

Emma asks “Lacey” if she has heard So Long Self by Mercy Me. Emma says it is a breakup sont with yourself:

So long, self
Well it’s been fun but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There’s just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don’t take this wrong but you were wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don’t cry
So long, self

Emma says she thought the song was kind of silly when she first heard it, but the more she thinks about it, the deeper it seems.
Emma talks about going to book club the night before and how a couple of people were asking advice on family problems. Emma says she’s glad she’s not the only one with a majorly dysfunctional family.

Emma talks about the Deacon, at book club, speaking about the Drama triangle and the three parts of villain, victim, and rescuer. She says to get out of the triangle, you have to refuse to play any of those rolls, and admittedly, the toughest part to get out of is the victim.
(Kind of ironic, isn’t it? Emma has a hard time not playing the victim? Truer words have not been spoken!)

Emma goes on to talk about someone else mentioning being a victim vs. being a volunteer. Basically being a volunteer is making a martyr of yourself. (Hmmmmmmm. Funny, how the woman who mentioned’ victim vs volunteer” at book club later told me that that Emma had made herself into a volunteer.)
Emma tells “Lacey” that her Beta fish, Zorro, says hi and that she will give “Lacey” a detailed account of the Spaghetti Lunch soon.

Letters to “Lacey” Part 11 <<<<<>>>>>>>

Posted on March 21, 2015 by losingemma

Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Part 11

(The following day, Emma starts yet another 5 page letter to “Lacey.”)

May 12, 2009

…….Emma mentions that our friend Ski passed away and that she is going to volunteer to get a team together to serve at the funeral…..
(Emma NEVER put the acolyte teams together. There was an adult in charge of doing that, but it does make Emma sound important and in-charge, doesn’t it? As a matter of fact, I was the one to call the priest and let him know that Emma wanted to serve at the funeral because she was fond of Ski.)

May 13, 2009

Emma talks about going going to church book club (with me) and tells “Lacey” that we are reading The Secret Life of Bees. ( by Sue Monk Kidd) and goes on to talk about keeping her phone off at church and youth group because if her friend Rob sees her with her phone, he will text her, “What’ch doin’?” or something similar, even though he is sitting six inches away from her and it’s like “What do you think I’m doing?” Usually, she just rolls her eyes, but occasional will text something back like, “Listening to deacon. Like u SHOULD be.” But it’s just easier to keep her phone off and avoid the problem.

May 14, 2009

Emma complains of a busy day and having to go to the orthodontist and how they were a half hour late for her appointment, and then she had to sit another thirty minutes while the ONLY doctor on duty worked on the patient next to her and then finally got to her, told the assistant what she needed, and left. She says if he knew it was going to take five seconds, why didn’t he do her first? And of course they chose to be jerks on the day she had somewhere else to go. Emma says we barely made it to the viewing for Ski because of the “insert profanity here” orthodontist and that if “Lacey” hasn’t picked up on it, she is in a MOOD.

(Emma’s orthodontists were Dr. Parson’s and Dr. Gilbert in Dacula, Ga. I think now they are called Smiles Forever. They were always very prompt, and I don’t ever remember any of her visits taking an hour. We were usually in and out pretty quickly. When we first started going, I thought it a little odd that it was like an assembly line, with the chairs lined up with patient after patient, but I guess for convenience, this arrangement kept things moving smoothly. For safety’s sake, it would also make it difficult for a patient to accuse a doctor of molestation or anything else, as there are so many people around, and now I think this kind of arrangement is a very good idea. After your child has falsely accused someone of molestation, you look at these things a little differently.
Emma HATED braces and did not appreciate the fact that she would have nice teeth in the long run. I never understood this because I also had braces as a child, and I remember being so proud of my “tinsel teeth.” Ok, I did hate the funky headgear, when I had to wear that, and yes there was some pain involved, but I was happy about my braces. As an adult, I really appreciate that my mother and I had to take a bus and then a subway to go downtown every time we went to the orthodontist. It was a lot of bother. (Thanks mom and dad!) Emma was completely miserable on the days we went to the orthodontist, and seemed to try to make me as miserable is she was with her constant complaining. Her teeth were not that bad, and I often wished we just hadn’t bothered with the braces. It just didn’t seem worth it, but when they came off, she did have a lovely smile. Frequently, after the orthodontist, we would stop at Starbucks for a frozen Frappuccino, which we both loved, but even this didn’t stop the complaining, and Emma would spend the rest of the day whining about how miserable and uncomfortable she was. I still remember the pain of getting the braces tightened. I would go home and take some Tylenol, have soup for dinner, and start feeling better the next day, but with Emma, every trip was pure agony.)

Emma talks about going to her piano lesson that afternoon, and how a large rat snake slithered out from under our car and went into the bushes at her teacher’s home. Emma claimed her teacher freaked out and was shaking so badly that Emma thought she was going to have a seizure!

(Ummmm, no! Emma and I were leaving her paino teacher’s house, and the teacher walked out on the porch like she always did, when we were leaving. I noticed the snake under the car, and the teacher told us she was afraid of snakes. I told her it was a rat snake and that they are harmless. She joked about how she wouldn’t come off the porch to see it, and as we got closer, the snake took off into the bushes. There was no severe shaking, as Emma described. Omigoodness, the drama!)

May 16, 2009

Emma talks about Ski’s funeral and how she couldn’t get a team together to serve because everyone else was in school. She says she did the reading (from Revelations) and everyone was very complimentary.
(See my earlier note of how Emma was NOT in charge of getting a team to serve at the funeral.)

May 17, 2009

Emma says she is really going to sit down and write more than two paragraphs tonight!
Emma talks about Sunday school and how there were blended classes that day, and how the younger kids love having an “awesome teenager” in attendance. She talks about how one of the girls is her “adopted” little sister” and then complains about some of the little girls trying to play matchmaker or asking her why she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and how she will suffer in silence and just complain to “Lacey.”

Emma tells “Lacey” cute stories about little girls fighting over her and two of them sitting with her in church, and having to take them to the bathroom. She says that not having siblings, she forgets about the urgency of pottly, and the dire seriousness of “now” makes her realize her mistake in discussing the subject and wasting precious time, (Asking, “Can you wait until the sermon is over?”) and then complains about having to walk down the aisle all the way to the back of the church an then troop back to the front row. She says she feels like everyone is watching her, and after church many people told her what a good mother she would be. Emma tells “Lacey” that she hates the pressure she feels from these people, like if her highest aspiration isn’t to be a mommy, there’s something wrong with her, but honestly, she doesn’t want children! She can sit with the for a few hours, even a couple of days, and then she is ready for them to go back to where they came from. She doesn’t want the responsibility 24/7. She doesn’t feel like she can say that to people. It’s like with all this gender equality junk, women are STILL expected to be the homemakers and care for children, and if they don’t there is something wrong with them.

(If I said something about having grandchildren one day, Emma would frequently tell me that she wasn’t going to have children. I usually said something like, “Good. You shouldn’t want children at your age. You have too many other things to do.” Or that she needed to finish growing up first, or something along those lines. Emma would frequently get angry and try to convince me that no, she NEVER wanted children, and try to get me to argue with her. Let’s face it, as a mother, when your 15-16 year old is talking about not having children, you don’t take it too seriously. I remember feeling the same way. There is a time and a place, and frankly, contrary to what is happening in a lot of society, I thought it was a good thing that Emma didn’t want children at that point. It wasn’t something I was going to argue over, but Emma would go on and on trying to convince me that she was never having children. I think she got mad that I didn’t argue with her about it. Later on, when Phill decided he wanted a divorce, he told me that Emma never wanted children because she was afraid she would be a mother like me.)

In the next part of the letter, Emma talks about the youth group end of school party, and complains that one of the kids brought a Wii and how she wished they would at least communicate with others some of the time instead of playing video games. Before the party, Emma went home with her friend Jordan, and Jordan and her little brother were trying to teach Emma to play tennis on the Wii. Emma states that she has never played a video game in her life! She says she did pretty badly, but it is not important to her as she thinks her hobbies are a bit more worthwhile. “It’s a lot harder to get into the video industry than the music industry. Ya know?”

(Another lie, er, I mean, exaggeration about having NEVER played video games in her life. Ummm, not true. Emma played lots of video games when she was younger, and was really hooked on Bejeweled when Phill put it on the computer. Overall, yes, she wasn’t really that into video games, but if she found something that interested her, she would play.)

Emma comments on her youth group leader having a Mill Creek yearbook, and says she pretend to be sad about not having a yearbook, and how she and another child who were homeschooled would have a yearbook of one. Then, this young girl went off into a corner and made Emma a homeschool yearbook with a napkin and a sharpie, and everyone signed it, even Ms. Karen, the youth group leader. Emma says she values that napkin more than the $80-500 page year book she got from Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma tells a few stories about the youth group party and then mentions talking to Evan, whom she would develop a crush on over the summer, about music. She says she envies him because he plays two instruments and she only plays one. Emma says she tried harmonica for a while only to discover that it was not her calling. Evan told Emma that playing the recorder was mandatory in middle school, but since Emma was homeschooled, she wasn’t aware of this. Then she mentions playing recorder when she was in a homeschool program, and as if it’s not bad enough to hate the instrument and be utterly unable to play it everybody else got their recorders through the schools and gets white ones, but Emma had a clear blue one brought from home because her mom won’t buy her a normal one. That makes her inadequacy even more obvious. What’s so funny is that Evan said, “You got it for your birthday with the little book, right? I was the same way.”

Emma says being hopeless on the recorder and bringing one from home that always caught the teacher’s attention made her call out every mistake Emma made, so it made her feel better to know there was another person on the face of the earth who had to go through music class with a blue recorder. Emma says she doesn’t know why, but she found that comforting.

(Omigoodness, poor Emma! Scarred for life by a transparent blue recorder!! Goodness! Is this another form of abuse? Why didn’t she call DFACS back then? Things wouldn’t have escalated to iris folding, expensive drama classes, and all the other horrible things Emma’s mother forced upon her! Ok, in all seriousness. Emma greatly exaggerates her ineptness at the harmonica and the recorder. She could play both of them, but she was not interested. Since she already played the piano, she had no difficulty learning the fingering and playing the recorder.
And as for that horrible blue recorder, I don’t remember when I got it. A friend of ours sold scholastic books, and I would let Emma pick some out, and I would pick some out that I thought might be good for school. I got the recorder, yes with the music book, thinking she would enjoy it, and we gave it to her either for her birthday or Christmas. Had I known it would lead to such a traumatic experience, I certainly wouldn’t have bothered. Emma started figuring it out and playing some of the simple songs the very first day she had it.
Emma took a recorder class as one of her electives in the homeschool program we attended. The teacher told the kids they could pick up a recorder at the dollar store and that would be just fine. Since Emma already had a recorder, I didn’t worry about getting another. Silly me, I should have spent the extra buck.
Ok, in all honesty, I’m just assuming that Emma didn’t have enough teen angst to complain to “Lacey” about, so she had to turn the recorder story into something it wasn’t. Funny how she never complained about the blue recorder when she was taking the class. )

Emma tells “Lacey” about playing Apples to Apples at the party and explains how the game is played, and then how her parents picked her, Rob, Molly, Jordan, and Alex up and gave everyone a ride home while the kids played the sentence game where each person in the car adds a word to a sentence. Emma says she typed a sentence into her phone so she would remember to tell “Lacey” and it was, “How many monkeys can t ink when there is a demented psychopathic anteater chasing them around?” and says there was another sentence they made about purple ants juggling yellow humans, Lol.

Emma signs off saying that that is about it for the sonderful adventures of her life thus far and to write soon!

Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate

Letters to “Lacey” Part 10

Posted on March 15, 2015 by losingemma

Phill and Emma when we were on a sightseeing trip in NYC. Phill Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Part 10
May 9, 2009
(Emma starts another 5 page letter to “Lacey.”)

Another, “Hey Laura!” and Emma tells “Lacey” that it is 1:10 am and she can’t sleep because she took her migraine meds. Emma talks about her mom teaching part time at a local Christian homeschool arts program and that the parent showcase was the previous night. Emma says that it is a collection of skits by all the classes strung together on a basic story line about happiness, truth, freedom, etc., and says that she went to the performance because A) she had nothing better to do, and B) a lot of people there found her on facebook, so she thought it would be fun to see them again. She didn’t remember until she was actually there, but everyone was so nice. No one told her how she could dress better, but ten people must have told her how pretty she looked. She was amazed how those people cared about her even though they hadn’t seen her in over a year. Coming from public school, it was hard to believe that two communities could coexist……. She states that she hopes to go back there next year now that she really appreciates it. (Funny thing is, we let Emma do online school the following year and she refused to go back to the homeschool arts program which was held on Fridays for ½ day.)

Emma goes on to say that a few people were interested in what public school was like and she was so torn at answering that question. In some ways she would say you have to see firsthand what a public school is like so you can really appreciate that you aren’t there, but in some ways you would be sooo much happier if you never had to go through that. For instance, forgive Emma for putting it bluntly, but when y ou barely recognize the existence of the f-word, you aren’t going to be grateful that people don’t shout it at each other sixty times daily, ya know?

By the way, Emma says, if some of this letter is incoherent, just don’t worry about it. Keep in mind that she is extremely sleep deprived and burning up. Did she mention that the a/c was broken? So whatever temperature it is outside is the temperature inside, and we have a wonderful A/C guy, but the problem is getting him to show up. He can never manage that. He was supposed to be there yesterday. (Ok, the part about the a/c guy is true. Jeff was wonderful and reasonable, but he rarely showed up when he said he would, and he rarely called to tell you he wasn’t coming.)

Later on in the day, Emma continues the letter around 8pm:

Emma says the song “What If” by Nicole Nordeman has been running through her head:

They say the cross will only make a fool of you.
And what if it’s true?
What if He takes His place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taughter us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?
But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump
And just close your eyes
What if the arms that catch you, cathc you by surprise….

Emma says she loves the chorus to the song. It makes her wonder about all the world religions, our religion atheism, and reminds her of a couple o her favorite pieces of wisdom she’s picked up over the years:
If Christians die to find out atheists were right all along, what do they lose? Nothing. But if atheists die to find out Christians were right, what do they lose? Everything.

Also, she got this from a guy who spoke at a graduation: At college you will be met with logic that makes sense and sounds good, and also totally contradicts Christ. Yes, there will be proof that Christianity is a lie. To Adam and Eve, there was proof that nothing bad would happen if they ate the forbidden fruit. (Emma says in parentheses that she was listening to this going “wow”…) From the beginning, Satan has used sound logic to trick us. It totally puts terms like “fact, reality, logic” into a new perspective, huh? (I’m thinking Emma fell for Satan’s trick. What about you?)

May 10, 2009

Emma talks about the church’s Mother’s Day Luncheon and Fashion Show and complains that she always ends up in the fashion show. She never volunteers for it, but her name magically appears in the bulleting as a model anyway. Oh, well. Don’t let Emma make too much of a martyr of herself, she goes on, as it wasn’t that bad. There were a couple of new twists in her part this year. They called her Friday night and asked her to play some dinner music at the lunch while people were coming in. Oh, ya, a day and a half of notice, let’s see what she can come up with?

Emma played some of the score to Phantom of the Opera, which she knew fairly well. Emma was pleased and embarrassed that Evan stood beside her and listened from beginning to end……
Emma says she also volunteered to help serve people their food, and this was just as well because it took away from the fact that she wasn’t eating. She tells “Lacey” not to worry because she’s not anorexic, but she doesn’t like the food. Emma tells how she was serving one side of the room and Evan was serving the other.
After everybody finished lunch, Emm ran upstairs to dress for the fashion show, and one of the younger girls told her they heard her playing the piano and how good she was, but that she thought the church would get a “professional” and the girl’s older sister said, “Shhh! She is a professional!” (True? I would guess this was a cute fabrication.)

By the way, Emma tells “Lacey”, whenever she goes to church, she sees to effortlessly accumulate a posse, so it’s not surprising that she ended up on the catwalk with two little girls….

May 11, 2009

Emma says this letter may be a bit short, but she’s going to get it in the mail the following day. She is looking forward to the end of school party the youth grou is having the following Sunday.

Emma talks about getting “Lacey’s” e-mail and about “Lacey’s” mom’s breast cancer. Emma says this must have been really trying, but it makes “Lacey” a huge part of who she is and it is amazing that she can share her experiences so openly because it can be such a blessing for those who are hurting.
(If you’ve read the blog, you already know that Emma lied about “Lacey’s” mom’s breast cancer. There were at least 2 or 3 times Emma claimed “Lacey’s” mother was hospitalized and on death’s door. They didn’t know if she would pull through! Oh the drama! My attorney spoke to “Lacey’s” parents, and I spoke to “Lacey’s” mother myself. She did have breast cancer, but was treated as an outpatient and was NEVER hospitalized, and was close to dying.)
Emma tells “Lacey” that she loves her poems because they express what Emma herself would say if she had the courage to write it down. Going back to not sharing emotions/trusting people. Emma feels like if she doesn’t put it on paper or saved it on a computer, it’s just that much less likely that other people will find out how she really feels. It’s so much easier to talk to “Lacey” because she doesn’t have any expectations Emma has to uphold. Emma doesn’t have to worry about something she may say wrong and shattering “Lacey’s fragile impression of her. Emma says she builds a façade and cultivates it, continually adding detail and chrisma and charm until it doesn’t even occur to people that there might be something deeper. She feels like it is too late to stop. It’s different with “Lacey” though because “Lacey” doesn’t see the face, ya know? Emma says she guesses “Lacey” does the same thing.

Also, about the poem, about looking into your eyes and seeing the real you, (not the façade)….It’s funny, Emma doesn’t even worry about people seeing past it anymore. She realizes now that people only see what they want to see. Emma wonders what they’d think if they knew who she really was, but she also knows that they don’t want to know. They see a sweet, well-spoken, gentle young lady and they like what they see, so they don’t want to look any further. That is both relieving and disconcerting at the same time, you know what she means? It is just nice to know that someone else (Lacey) is going through what Emma is going through. Emma says she looks at Jordan, Evan, Rob… do they ever feel this way? She doesn’t know and she never asks because that would be admitting she feels this way, which Emma could never do. Then she looks at the little girl she babysits who’s life’s ambition is to be a teenager. Will she feel like this, or will it be as great for her as she th inks it is for Emma. It is so hard to think about all this…
Emma says these thoughts remind her of the chorus form a song by Jars of Clay, Two Hands:
I use on hand to pull you closer,
The other to push you away…
I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar that thirsts for the truth..

Emma says the song is about being divided and how we could do much more if we were united.
(I am refraining from commenting here. Too much teen angst, which I know is just part of growing up.)

Emma says she just said this, but she is so comforted to know someone else is going through the same thing she is. It is also nice to have someone to talk to that she feels like she can actually trust. She thinks she can trust “Lacey” because she doesn’t have the expectations that everyone else has. No one tells her what to think of Emma. Does that make sense? She hopes so. It doesn’t make sense to Emma how she can be so h appy sometimes and so utterly depressed other times. Does “Lacey” feel the same way? Emma just looked at this letter and saw that she was all over the place on the emotional side of things.

Emma talks about an older couple that we were friends with at church. The husband passed away the year before, and the wife was now going on hospice.

Then Emma bounces back to see if she can end on a lighthearted note and tells a funny story about Jordan calling her after she sent out the e-mail about the youth group party.
“What day is the party? It doesn’t say.” Jordan asks, and Emma tells her to read Emma the subject line which has “Sunday” in it, and Jordan asks, “Oh, it’s Sunday?”
Emma sas that Jordan will be the first of many who will call or e-mail her with that question, and then mentions she is babysitting the following night, so she can watch Aquamarine again…………
Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate

Letters to “Lacey” Part 8

Posted on March 7, 2015 by losingemma

For about 7 years, Emma, her aunt, and I went to the William Holland School in Young Harris Ga. every summer for a week. In 2010, Emma spent a week learning how to cut Cabachons.

Part 8

May 6, 2009

Emma starts out this letter to “Lacey” with and “Ugh” and says that she is at Jackson County Comprehensive High School for three days of EOCT testing. It only took her a few minutes on the bus for her to remember exactly why she hates JCCHS and the people there so much. From the moment she got on the bus she saw more evidence of “their” backstabbing definition of friendship. Emma supposes they consider crucifying a ‘friend’ for what she’s wearing, because it’s not in style, to be good for her. At least that was how Emma interpreted the situation. Today, they were criticizing K. for her flip-flops that she wore three days ago. Emma says she did not see the flip-flops, but apparently they were not in style and she is refraining from using the profanities they uttered repeatedly, but she is sure “lacey” can imagine.

Emma tells “lacey that is is so strange. When they are on the bus, Emma is totally and completely disgusted with them and can’t wait until she can get off the bus and run to the counselor’s off ice (that’s where she tests and uses the computer) and get away from them. But then she at lunch with them because it is better than eating alone, slightly, and they were talking and saying they miss Emma and they were talking about friendships, and C. put her arm around Emma and said, “Emma and me, we’re tight, man!” Emma asks “Lacey”, if C. honestly believes that??? After all, C. had not seen Emma in months. In those few moments, Emma felt like maybe, just maybe she could be friends with the girls , but that was until Bo flicked a ketchup-loaded lettuce leaf in her direction, and Emma said, “Hey! These are my new jeans!” so Bo told her that she shouldn’t wear them to school. Emma talks about being sick and having lost 10 lbs., and keeping her clothes nice (not grungy) and modest, which is unacceptable to her friends.
(A slight exaggeration on the weight loss. Emma would lose two or three pounds during her vomiting episodes, but the only time she lost 10 pounds was when she had Rotovirus.)

Emma says she will tell “Lacey” about her “friends.” She starts with C. and says that she met her when she started volunteering with the animal rescue group that we worked with and she liked her for years. Emma noted that C. did curse a lot, but she seemed nice other than that. C. also assured Emma that she and her friends would take Emma under their wing when she came to high school, but Emma did not realize that C’s bringing her into the clique would impact Emma so greatly. Shortly after Emma started at JCCHS, C. had her first abortion, and Emma says that that shook her to her core. You see, until then, everything had been great. Emma felt loved and accepted and overlooked the things she didn’t want to see like the backstabbing and the drinking and drugs. Basically you name it, and C. does it, but the abortion was too much for Emma to ignore.
(If you have been reading the blog, I have already told the abortion story. It was a lie. Emma made it up.)

After C.’s “abortion,” Emma says she started to open her eyes. She began to realize that the people here were not people she wanted to be around, much less look up to or be in a ‘group’ with. When Emma looked at what went on, she was still amazed that the people like her church friends still existed. If there was anyone at JCCHS like her church friends, Emma had yet to find them, and she has tried! So many people Emma used to think a lot of have turned out to be unworthy of her commentation..she can’t think of one at school that she truly admires.
KB is another “friend”. BTW, all these friends live in Emma’s neighborhood, she states. The other friends tell KB she is stupid, although they use a much less polite term. KB believes them and even says it herself.

M. is who Emma considers to be the most intelligent “friend.” She is just as cruel as any of them, but she is also a bit more aware. She has half a clue about politics, although she’d probably tell you she had a whole clue. She thinks she knows it all. “It all” entails the huge government conspiracy that’s out to get us. M. agrees with Emma’s political views, but is much more radical than Emma and Emma and is an extreme right winger. She wants conservatives to rule the world, basically.

A more lighthearted moment, Emma talks about being on the phone with Jordan the night before and talking about Twilight, and then goes into a long descriptive story about Jordan and a spider…

Emma goes on to tell another story about Jordan and when they were at camp the previous summer. Emma claims that she found Jordan out cold on the bathroom floor, and when she came to, all she could whisper was “Spider” and Emma killed it because she didn’t want to risk losing Jordan again.
(Ok, seriously, does anyone believe this story happened? It makes a great story, but Jordan doesn’t really faint that easily.)

Emma’s last paragraph tells about “the wonderful world of grandma” because her grandmother sent her a card and Emma couldn’t understand why her grandmother bought a 50 cent card and then sent it priority mail. Emma complains that Grandma signs “Love” but never writes a personal message.
Emma signs off and says if she writes anymore it will be about the Bad Place where she is, and that would just be depressing.

Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate.

Letters to “Lacey” Part 6

Posted on February 9, 2015 by losingemma

Emma played soccer with the Jackson County Recreation Department in preschool. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

According to Emma, inbetween preschool and playing soccer at the Jackson County Recreation Department, her parents pressured her about college and we must have ruined her childhood! Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Part 6
The following day, Emma starts yet another letter to “Lacey”:

April 15, 2009

Emma starts off this letter telling “Lacey” about a dream she had about Jackson County Comprehensive High School. In her dream, she doesn’t want to go to Biology, so she goes with a friend to Gym instead. Emma says this is weird because she hates Gym, too. Everybody is playing basketball, but Coach Algard won’t let Emma play because he remembered that she will pass out if she does much of anything and in parentheses, she states that this is true-to-life. Then Emma goes on about riding the bus back to the main campus and she was glad she had run into her friend because no one had been nice to her that day and in parentheses writes “Just like my old school!” and she was so grateful that she was going to write a thank you note…….

(I feel the need to point out again that Emma was not the weak and frail little flower that she makes herself out to be, passing out at the drop of a hat. Here in the south, I guess we would say she got the vapors—-and for those of you that know me, I will pronounce it for you. There is no “R.”  Also, Emma was yet again the victim at school. No one was ever nice to her.)

April 20, 2009

Emma tells some cute stories about Sunday school, and complains about being “forced” into the Mother’s Day fashion show at church, and how she was always forced into it.
(One again the victim, Emma was asked to be in the fashion show, and the lady that asked her provided her with a top that came from her daughter’s shop. Emma also played the piano during the show. The next year, Emma volunteered to play the piano again. She loved all the attention she got playing music from Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera. There was another young man who played classical piano, and Phill and I were a little embarrassed when Emma monopolized the piano and this young man was standing there waiting to play.)

Emma talks about her friend Rob, and Rob’s little sister trying to get the two of them together and asks why does she seem to find cute little girls who idolize her and want to run her life at the same time? Is there any reason??? What did she do to deserve this??? Is God trying to show her that she really doesn’t need siblings???

Emma talks about her youth group meeting and how Jordan is mad at Rob, but they have no clue as to why, and how Jordan was in her own little world at the meeting with her itouch and didn’t even hear Rob calling her a loser. *SIGH* Emma says she has given up on understand her friends. It just doesn’t work.
Emma goes on to give an entertaining description of her Red Cross First Aid/CPR course that she has to take as part of her Health class. She claims to have had the weirdest instructor who kept telling them, “I can teach y’all this stuff, but ya’ll know half the time it ain’t gonna work.” She was also full of other encouraging sentiments like, “Them’s just pieces of plastic. Them’s dead…that one’s definitely dead…Dead on site!!” Emma claims the teacher yelled these things out randomly in the middle of CPR practice and also talked to the videos, “Look! Look! He done gone stuck a screw in ‘lectric box!! Everybody knows you don’t go sticking them things in ‘lectric boxes!! Course he’s gonna get shocked! He deserved it, too!…. He shoulda known she was havin’ a heart attack! Everybody knows that’s what happens fore they have a heart attack!!…Well what’s he thinkin’? He done gone and left his buddy in the middle of a river. Course he’s gonna fall in! Ain’t nobody there to help him neither.”
(My Goodness! I wish all my CPR classes had been this entertaining!)

Emma mentions getting a postcard from Arkansas that “Lacey” sent and talks about having to babysit and how she will have to watch the movie “Aquamarine” once again.

April 22, 2009

Emma talks about getting depressed again and seeing the little kids in the Sunday school class she assists with and says she can’t help but to think back to when she was that age and how they are seeing the world for the first time and they seem so content and happy. Emma says she honestly doesn’t have those memories. She remembers her parents talking to her about college when she hadn’t even started kindergarten. Everybody talks about how mature Emma was and how mature she is and she wonders if it is really as great as they make it out to be. She was listening to her friends talk, and whenever they talk about childhoods, Emma was always the responsible one. She feels like she had to grow up so fast, she never had time to be a kid. She was always thinking how she couldn’t wait to get into high school, to be a teenager, and now that she is here, she wonder’s what the big deal is. Then she looks at her future; her parents want her to finish high school in three years and get a head start on college. I apply for scholarships at least twice a week. She runs the youth group and her (adult) youth group leader admits Emma knows more about what’s going on that she (the leader) does. And through all this, Emma’s parents are behind her, pushing her to the limit and often well past it. Really, what are they so worried about? What’s the worst that could have happened….that she might have grown up to be normal?

April 23, 2009

Emma ends this letter with one sentence saying she is late getting it in the mail because she has been busy this week, and then adds “Write soon!.”

(Where is my violin? Teen angst and outright lies! I remember being a moody teenager myself, so I get that part, but her parents talking about college before Emma had started kindergarten? Let’s get real. A preschooler has no concept of what college actually is!
Emma may be referring to how when she was about 3-4 and would frequently stick a doll under her shirt and say, “Look, I’m having a baby!” and then perform the delivery and but the baby to her breast to nurse. Phill and I would ask Emma some questions and taught her how to reply. It went something like this:
Mom or Dad: And when are you going to have a baby, Emma?
Emma: After college. When I’m 30. And when I’m married.

Emma, sweetie, it was a joke. We weren’t putting pressure on you about college! Sorry if we scarred you for life!

Phill and I never had any intention of Emma finishing high school in 3 years. We knew that some homeschoolers were able to start college their senior year of high school and count it as both high school and college, and that was sort of a way homeschoolers got around needing a high school diploma to start college. We had thought Emma might like to to that when the time came, but we were not trying to rush her through high school.
After 10th grade, Phill and I considered letting Emma start college. Since she was interested in nursing, we looked into Gwinnett Technical College and let Emma go over and take a test to see if she could get in. Emma was the one who was dying to start college. 10th grade had been a pretty lousy year of Emma sitting in front of a computer for school everyday. We really did not want her to do school on line again. When she passed the entry test to Gwinnett Tech, we were definitely interested until the college told us Emma would have to take the GED to be allowed into college. I did some research and talked to other people, and Phill and I were not comfortable with Emma getting into college via that route. We’d heard too many negative things about having a GED instead of a diploma, so we decided Gwinnett Tech was out. Of course, Emma blamed me for not letting her start college. Oh, that evil mother, again!
As for the youth group, Emma definitely had some control issues. She liked running things, and she liked being in control. If they planned an event and she didn’t hear back from some of the kids as to who was going, she would call to find out. Emma wasn’t forced into this position. She kind of took over.
I have to laugh at the last few sentences. We had gone to a meeting at JCCHS and one of the speakers talked about all the scholarships out there and how one young woman applied for so many and ended up getting something like 80 scholarships. At first, I looked around at scholarships and encouraged Emma to apply for a couple that I thought she might be eligible for, but I gave up on that after about a week. You could not force Emma to do anything she did not want to do, and it was not worth the bother. At one time, Emma wanted to go to medical school and to go to Yale, and I thought if she was serious, she’d better be looking for scholarships, but I wasn’t going to be a Sandi McCravy and do it for her. Much to her credit, Sandi, (Sandra Brooks McCravy) applied for every scholarship for Derek that she could get her hands on and it paid off. Some of them were very small, like a couple hundred dollars, but hey, there’s a textbook! I was not near as dedicated to scholarships as Sandi was.
And who knew? Phill and I pushed Emma to her limit and well past it? Really? I guess I must have blocked out that part. While we did require she do her school work, we didn’t push Emma into anything.
What was the worst that could happen? That Emma might have brown up to be normal? I’m not even going to comment on that one right now. I’m sort of wondering how mom gets all the credit/blame for everything wrong in her life, but no credit for everything right? Oh, that’s right. Somebody has to be the bad guy.

From about 2nd grade up until she started high school, Emma said she was going to be a pediatrician when she grew up. She’d read a children’s book about Dr. Ben Carson, and that inspired her. I was amazed that she held on to that idea for as long as she did. Around 10th grade Emma was leaning towards nursing, but then with all the wonderful therapy she had, she decided to major in counseling. After what’s been going on in the news, I couldn’t help but wonder if Emma had ever thought about being a news anchor. I hear there might be an opening for Brian Williams’ job! Just a thought.)

Letters to “Lacey” Part 5, Medieval Times, Atlanta

Posted on February 6, 2015 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma and Kayla Benifield Weaver at Medieval Times, Atlanta 2009, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Roey

Part 5, Medieval Times, Atlanta

On April 9th, 2009, Emma started another 4 paged, typewritten letter to “Lacey.”
After Emma’s mother so cruelly would not let her go with Kayla (Kayla Benifield Weaver) and her grandparents to Dollywood because she was too far behind in her schoolwork, Roy and Velda Benifield, Kayla’s grandparents from Martin, Ga, offered to take Emma with them to Medieval Times, a dinner show and tournament in Lawrenceville, Ga. This letter is mostly about that night and is a lot of great story telling. I don’t know if it is all true or if some of it is somewhat exaggerated. Emma came home that night, and told me in great detail about the whole evening, but when I read through this letter a few years ago, it seemed a little different than what Emma had told me that night, so I’m guessing this letter is a little fluffed up to make good story telling. I’m not going to go into this letter as thoroughly as I have with some of them because it just doesn’t matter. I will share a few parts so you can get a feel for it.

Emma talks about how she and Kayla are polar opposites because Kayla wants to stay in the crowd and watch people make fools of themselves, but Emma wants to jump right up there with them. Emma talks about a knighting ceremony where you could go up and kneel before the king and be knighted, except no one wanted to do it when they asked for volunteers, and Kayla muttered, “No you don’t!” and well, of course Emma did. She walked up on stage, which Emma calls her 2nd home and knelt before King Phillipe and was now the Lady of the Castle, and Kayla was totally and completely mortified to have to claim Emma. Emma says, honestly, you’d think she’d become a delinquent instead of a Lady.

Emma talks about going into the dungeon and how Kayla could not read the framed sheets of information, so Emma read them out loud and then talks about how after she read them, people around them clapped for her. Emma says she’s fine with people appreciating her drama when she is on stage, but was a little embarrassed to have an audience and not even know it.

After walking out of the dungeon, Kayla’s grandmother was there, waiting to ambush them with the camera and then in her lovely Southern Drawl declared rather loudly, “Girls! There ya’ll are! Have Ya’ll found ya’llselves any handsome boys to get ya’lls picture taken with?” Emma states that she was mortified and Kayla was ready to crawl into a hole.

Emma writes more on April 13 and April 14 and then finishes the letter.

Just a quick note about Kayla. Kayla was also involved in the Drama department at her high school, so I just can’t imagine her being as reserved and “mortified” as Emma makes her out to be.

Part 6 coming up next!

Letters to “Lacey” Part 4

Posted on February 1, 2015 by losingemma

Part 4

(Interestingly enough, Emma started another 4 page letter to “Lacey” the same day she finished the last letter.)

Another mother and I took the church youth group on a bowling trip. I guess you can tell Emma wasn’t a great bowler, but it was fun anyway! Here she is hamming it up after her gutterball.

March 30, 2009

This letter again starts out with the “Hey Lacey” salutation and goes on to talk about how Emma is taking a break from school to write “Lacey.” She mentions that we watched part of PBS’s presentation of Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens the night before. Then she complains about how we are having Cornbeef [sic] and Cabbage for dinner. (One of Phill’s favorite meals.) (What is kind of funny is that Emma says that she is not that picky, and I think Phill would even tell you that Emma was VERY picky. She liked meat and bread, and pretty much the only vegetables she liked were green beans, corn, and potatoes. Ok, two of those don’t really count as healthy vegetables, but to Emma. I have to wonder if Emma’s taste has changed in the past 3 ½ years since Ive seen her.)

(Emma must have taken a break.)

The very next paragraph, Emma complains that dinner was just as awful as predicted and that after her on line class that evening, “they” want to talk to her. (not sure why the “talk” was italicized) Emma says this could be really good or it could be really bad. It could mean that her parents had decided Emma was mature enough to get her permit (oh please Lord, pretty please….) or it could mean her parents are mad at her for some inexplicable reason. She “*really*” hopes she is not in touble. Emma states that we usually don’t have huge fights more than once a month so it is too early to have another one yet. Orr I could be something random like her medication is making her depressed and it’s time to see about changing it. Emma says that idea would not fall into either category, but it is not a bad idea. (Suffice to say this is more teenage angst. Occasionally we had loud arguments, but I don’t think we timed them out to be every month. Also, Emma makes a much bigger deal about her medication, depression, side effects, changing her medication, etc. Emma took her medication, the only problem she had with it was that it increased her sensitivity to sunlight, and she had to be careful in the summer because if she was out in the sun for too long, she would break out. That’s all. There was no depression, no changing of medications.)

Emma’s next paragraph starts with story from church where a father of one of the girls in the class Emma assisted with asked her if she was in college. Emma was “abashed to admit” she was a lowly high school in freshman. Emma says she knows he is mature beyond her years. She’s gone through more strife than most adults will in a lifetime, and it’s definitely shaped her, but college? She didn’t think she seemed that old! Emma says there are times she feels so young compared to her friends…Evan, Rob, and Jordan are sophomores and there are a few juniors and seniors in the group, but no other freshmen. Her only close friend out of church (besides Lacey) is Kayla –Kayla Benifield Weaver, a junior. Emma was proud that someone could think she was that mature. She says it might balance out my inferiority complex just a big. Yes, she says, she fluxes between being totally self-assured to feeling utterly inept.

March 31, 2009

Emma writes that *the talk* was just disappointing. Her mother won’t let her go to Dollywood with Kayla (Kayla Benifield Weaver) on spring break. And Kayla’s grandparents were going to pay for it, so Emma is ticked off! Emma would love to spend three days with Kayla. She doesn’t get to see her much because she lives in Martin. Her divorced mom lives close by, so she’s sees Kayla when she is at her mom’s maybe 5 times a year. Last time Emma saw her was when they went bowling on Kayla’s birthday in Februrary.

(Ok, let the evil mother speak here. Emma hated attending Jackson County Comprehensive High School and was throwing up so much that we had to pull her out of school Emma had to finish school on line, but she also had a lot of school work she had to finish for JCCHS, so it was almost like she was doing double school to make up for missing so much. It was not her evil mother who decided she could not go to Dollywood with Kayla and her grandparents, it was a decision made assignments done, and Phill and I were both proud of her for getting through that semester.
Another thing was that the trip was not 3 days. I spoke to Kayla’s grandfather over the phone, and the trip was to be for five days. Emma was so behind in school, she did not could not take 5 days off. As a mother, this was a very difficult decision, as I’m sure other mothers out there can understand. I racked my brain trying to figure out how Emma could go to Dollywood because I know she would have a great time, and she didn’t have many friends, so I really wanted her to go. Emma told “Lacey” that she got to see Kayla maybe 5 times a year, the truth was that Emma, at that point, saw Kayla once or twice a year. It came down to the fact that Emma had deadlines on her school work, and there was no way she could meet them if she took the five days off. We’d already been warned that Emma might have to repeat 9th grade, so we were just trying to make sure she got through the year. I think I was as disappointed as Emma was that she could not go to Dollywood with Kayla, but Phill and I agreed that it was not possible.)

Emma goes on to talk about her plans to go on a mission trip in June with one of our neighbors who runs an organization called Eternal hope of Haiti. Emma mentions being a little nervous about it. (Ironically enough, another woman in the neighborhood, a nurse practitioner, who frequently went on the mission trips to Haiti with Eternal Hope, was also the victim of Emma’s lies. If you’ve read through the blog, I’ve mentioned this story, but it seems appropriate to mention it here. The NP who was our neighbor, and one of her daughters, went with Emma on the trip to Haiti, and was especially kind and kept an eye on Emma. She also let Emma use her phone to send a message home. When this lady needed a dog sitter, Emma went over to her house after she got home from work to go over what she needed to do for the dog. Emma came home and told me how the woman was drunk, and imitated her, putting on a good show. I was kind of shocked, but Emma was pretty funny with her acting. I later told Phill about it. Too bad it was another one of Emma’s stories.)

Emma then says a couple of neighborhood girls stopped by the house. They had heard a rumor that Emma had brain cancer. Emma says she felt like saying, “Oh wow, I’ve been out of school for two months and NOW you decide to check on me. Ya, that means a whole lot.” See, Emma used to consider about 4 girls in the neighborhood to be her friends, but that was until she opened her eyes and realized that they didn’t act at all like friends. According to her friends, the hairbands Emma wore were childish, the jeans she wore weren’t in style, her shoes weren’t cool, her backpack made her look d funny, her shirt looked like something an old lady would wear, she was too innocent, Christian, and naive for her own good. (Their words, not Emma’s, according to Emma.) Unfortunately, by the time Emma realized she had chosen the wrong confidants; it was too late to change things. At Jackson County Comprehensive High School, your associations are set in stone the moment you arrive. Changing them is strictly forbidden. Emma could not leave the group because they were always around her. They claimed her and there was nothing she could do. While it was possible to leave them, it was not possible to find another group identity.
Emma says if she were in the same situation again she would have done things differently. She realizes now that it is better to have no friends than friends that bring you down. However, she can’t change the past, so she has to deal with the repercussions. She is just grateful that she has a strong faith and a few close friends, even though she doesn’t see them often.
Emma says she wishes she’s forgiven the girls, but she hasn’t. Some things, like the insults will be forgotten in time, however, other damage is irreparable. They took her trusting nature and turned it against her. The awful things she saw and heard took away her innocence. Because of them, she is suspicious of strangers. Because of them, she is not who she used to be, and she can’t change that no matter how hard she tries…………….

(Ok, the part about the brain tumor is true because I was there when the girls came by, but this is more teen angst, dramatization and exaggeration. I know some of this exaggerated angst is normal with the age Emma was at the time, and teenagers teasing each other is normal as well, but most of this part of the letter is laughable. Emma didn’t really try to make friends. The girls on the bus tried to include her and invite her to things, but often she would not go (because of Emma’s claims there would be drinking and drugs at whatever they were doing). Also, Emma was the one who would not allow any of these girls to be her friend on facebook. They sent her friend requests, but she ignored them. I think Emma didn’t want to associate with these girls, so she made them sound like horrible people so that I wouldn’t give her a hard time about not accepting an invitation to do something with them. After all, what kind of mother would I be if I encouraged my daughter to hang out with a bunch of promiscuous, foul-mouthed drug users? Well played, Emma because I fell for it.)

Emma writes about texting Kayla and how since her “rents” won’t let her go to Dollywood, she wanted to meet Kayla at Hartsfield International Airport and fly to New York, and that when she got a role on Broadway, she would pay Kayla’s college tuition. Emma also writes about how she wants to start a Bible Study with her youth group.
(As for the Bible Study, like the music program Emma was going to start, it’s more talk. Emma never actually talked to anyone about doing any of these things. I think she was just trying to impress upon “Lacey” what a good Christian she was.)

April 6, 2009

Emma tells “Lacey” some cute stories about church and a couple of funny stories about the mother of one of the boys in her youth group and how this woman is bipolar.
(I’m not going to bother writing about these stories because I suspect they were just that, stories, but they sounded good and gave her something to write about. I suspect the stories and Emma’s diagnosis were all lies as well. Although I didn’t know this woman real well, we were friendly, and I attended some small group things where she was a part of the group as well. I never asked her if she was bipolar, and at this point, I’m not going to bother. Since our group often discussed personal things going on in our families, and we talked about a young man in church who was bipolar, I feel that this woman would have mentioned it, or I would have found out from someone else in the group. I’m calling pretty much all this part of the letter BS.)
Emma asks “Lacey” if she has Facebook and tells her to look up “Emma Kate Roey” and says that it is her socialization. (Note: Emma no longer uses her real name on Facebook.)

April 7, 2009

Emma chit chats about getting a little snow, and how her friend Jordan loves the Twilight series and can relate anything in any conversation to Twilight. She talks about how she is going shopping for an Easter dress after lunch. (Actually, Emma wasn’t driving at the time, so it was her mom taking her shopping and paying for the Easter dress, but those are Eminor detail. I realize Emma wanted to sound grown up and independent.) Emma signs off and says this 4 page typed letter is fairly short because not a lot was going on this week.

Two days later, Emma will start another 4 page letter to “Lacey.”

More to come………………………….

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged Applied Psycholocgical Health http://appliedpsychhealth.com/, Brooks Family originally of Walton County, Candace Whitman, Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett, Dr. Genie Burnett, Dr. Richard Born, Electric Drone Society, Emily Kirby, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Roey, Fayette Flyers, Fr. George Ivey, Heather Thompson, Hodges Hobbies, HODGES HOBBIES ALL ELECTRIC FLY-IN 2014, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, http://www.fayetteflyers.com/, http://www.hodgeshobbies.com/, http://www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org/, http://www.laniercounseling.com/index.html, http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff, http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com/, http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com/, http://www.tripletreeaerodrome.com/joe-nall-week.php, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brooks-Family/93421367163, https://www.piedmont.edu/pc/index.php, Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Jackson County DFCS, Jackson County Sheriff's Office, Jefferson City Schools, Jefferson High School, Joe Nall, Joe Nall Week, Johnathan McCravy, Kayla Benifield Weaver, Lanier Counseling, Manna Treatement, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Piedmont College, Rachelle Hutchinson, Sandi McCravy, Sandra Brooks McCravy, Sandy McCravy, SEFF, SEFF Week: April 20th - 26th 2015, seffweek.com, Social Empowerment Center, Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Suzie McGarvey, Wright State University

Today’s Thought

Posted on January 30, 2015 by losingemma

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma, learning about repelling from Phill’s partner, Carl, who, along with his wife Connie, replled into a lot of caves.

If you’ve been following the blog, I’ve been going through Emma’s letters to “Lacey” the friend she claimed was raped and attempted suicide. “Lacey” was the supposed catalyst for Emma’s repressed memories of being molested by a priest when she was 12 years old. Emma told many other lies about “Lacey” and her family.

This past week, I’ve had some interesting conversations with some people who just happened to be put in my path. One couple, whom I’d just met, found out I was divorced and then, without even knowing about Emma, started telling me about the problems they’d had with their daughter when she was a teen. Their daughter is about 10 years older than Emma, and turned out ok, but they had some rough years. Then, the husband said to me that they even had friends who’d gotten divorced because of the problems with their own daughter. Bingo! I was just surprised to be having this conversation, and these people are telling me these things before I’d even told them anything about my situation.

Today I was thinking about how when the church sent a so-called impartial attorney to interview Emma about the molestation. At this point we should have had an attorney, but perhaps I was trusting and naive. (I will write out the whole story on the investigation at some point, but for right now, it’s not a big priority.) This attorney wanted to question Emma without me present. Phill was at work, and that was probably another mistake. I should have had Emma questioned with an attorney present, and the appointment should have been made when Phill and I both could have been there.

Emma was sixteen at the time, and since our deacon (a woman) who’d been very supportive of Emma was there with us, I agreed to let the attorney question Emma without me being present and went outside with our priest (who had also come over) so that the attorney could talk to Emma. It did not go well, and it sounded like the attorney was more than being an objective interviewer, but was rather adversarial. After she was finished, Emma came running out to me, crying, saying she hated the woman. Emma was obviously upset, and everyone quietly left. When I later talked to our deacon, she told me that she did not like the woman attorney either.

Partly, I feel like this woman could not have been objective as she was hired by the church and she was a member of the church. That seems a little bit like conflict of interest, but that’s just my opinion.

What I was thinking about today though, was how after the attorney had left, Emma told me she’d turned on the recorder on her phone and recorded most of the interview. I was proud of Emma for having the presence of mind to do that. Not that anything became of the recording, and I really only listened to a few minutes of it. Emma had her phone under the table, maybe in her pocket, I can’t remember now, and the sound quality wasn’t that great. I find it interesting that Emma accused me of pushing her, shoving her, kicking her foot into the corner of the cabinet, hitting her with the handle of a pot (still haven’t quite figured out that one!) and yet there is no proof of those things. Emma claimed I went into a rage several times and then blocked it out. Phill never saw me do any of those things. There is no proof. I just thought it was interesting that Emma never thought to record these incidents, especially since Emma’s cell phone was practically another appendage of her body. It was either in her pocket or in her hand.

Hmmmmmm… Perhaps if something seems too bizarre to be true………….

I am thankful to have survived all this with my sense of humor intact. Some of Emma’s lies have been downright laughable, and I would just like to ask her what she was thinking when she said them. There’s a cute little song that’s very popular right now and it always makes me smile and think of Emma. I just want to say, “Hey, Emma! Your Lips are Moving.”

I will continue with the next letter to “Lacey” coming up. Sorry for the delay. I have had a busy couple of weeks! Thank you all for support. I will keep writing!

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged Applied Psycholocgical Health http://appliedpsychhealth.com/, Brooks Family, Candace Whitman, Derek McCravy, Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett, Dr. Genie Burnett, Dr. Richard Born, Emily Kirby, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey, Fayette Flyers, Fr. George Ivey, Heather Thompson, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, http://www.fayetteflyers.com/, http://www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org/, http://www.laniercounseling.com/index.html, http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff, http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com/, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brooks-Family/93421367163, https://www.piedmont.edu/pc/index.php, Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Jackson County DFCS, Jackson County Sheriff's Office, Jefferson City Schools, Jefferson High School, Johnathan McCravy, Lanier Counseling, Manna Treatement, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Piedmont College, Rachelle Hutchinson, Sandi McCravy, Sandra Brooks McCravy, Sandy McCravy, SEFF Week: April 20th - 26th 2015, Social Empowerment Center, Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Suzie McGarvey, Wright State University

Letters to “Lacey” – Preface (UPDATED 01/06/20115)

Posted on December 27, 2014 by losingemma

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com
Thank you to my readers for your support and please continue to share the blog with others.

Letters to Lacey –Preface (How Emma ended up in on-line school, and connecting with the penpal she claimed was raped and attempted suicide.)

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

After five years of homeschooling, we decided to quit and put Emma in public school. I’m still a huge fan of homeschooling, but for Emma, it was probably a mistake. At first, I thought we did everything pretty well. In addition to school, Emma was involved in many, many activities. I wanted to make sure that Emma was well “socialized.” Over the years while homeschooling, Emma was involved in an arts program and took other homeschool group classes, she was on a kayaking team, in a homeschool chorus, church choir, church newsletter team, Sunday School, piano lessons, softball, a knitting group, a neighborhood bible study, a church book club, was a church acolyte, sang with the Gwinnett Young Singers under Lynn Urda and got to sing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, and we also went on homeschool field trips to places like the UGA Vet school, WSB TV/Radio in Atlanta, Coca Cola, the William Harris Homestead, the Capital, etc.

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends. To Emma’s left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

Homeschooling started out great. Emma and I both enjoyed it. Seeing your child get excited about learning is an amazing experience. If Emma wanted to spend extra time on a subject, it was no problem. As a parent, I saw how so many things could turn into a learning opportunity. We would be out in public somewhere and see something that brought to mind something we learned in school. Or we would hear of something and want to know more about it, so Emma would do some research. For example, one birthday or Christmas, my sister sent Emma a prayer box necklace, and we were curious, so Emma looked up the history of prayer boxes and shared with me what she found. Thank goodness for Google!

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor’s Mansion in Atlanta.

I probably should have stopped homeschooling in middle school, as after 2 or three years, it got more and more difficult. If I left the room, Emma kept books hidden in the school room, so she would pull out a book and read instead of doing her school work. We could have easily been done with school by 2pm every day, but Emma started dragging things out to 5pm, and sometimes later. I didn’t like doing school in the afternoon because I was always very tired in the afternoons and felt better in the mornings. I didn’t know at the time what was wrong, but I later found I had a medical condition causing the fatigue. School was Monday through Fridays, but sometimes Emma would drag her feet so much that we would have to do school on Saturdays. Part of the problem may have been that I had a child with a higher IQ than I have (I don’t know for sure about my IQ, but I’m guessing it is not as high as Emma’s!) and that Emma had no respect for Phill and I as authority figures. That may have been our mistake. We were a tight little family and we did everything together. Phill and I probably shouldn’t have included Emma in on so much, but we often treated her more as an equal in the family rather than the child. Because we both adored our daughter, her wishes often overrode our own, so yes, she was spoiled, but I reasoned that all kids seem to be spoiled nowadays.

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

In addition to reading when she should have been doing her school work, Emma did things like lying and cheating. If Emma needed to re-do some math problems, I would write the pages and the problem numbers on the board, and we would recheck them later. Emma started erasing the board, hoping I would forget about the work she needed to re-do.

I had to hide my teacher’s manual, so that Emma couldn’t cheat. One time, she hid one of my books, and I’m not sure as to the reasoning behind that. I guess she was trying to get out of math class that day.

I think I’ve mentioned Emma’s affinity for sweets, and how we would have to lock up things like chocolate chips, marshmallows, etc. or Emma would steal them. I would be all set to bake and not have what I needed because Emma had eaten them all. We also had to lock up the Halloween candy, and even with that, Emma discovered where the key was and I found dozens of candy wrappers in her room. One year, at the end of the school year, I was cleaning up our school room and found dozens of candy wrappers hidden out there between books, under things, and crammed in anywhere Emma could hide them that I might not look. She had a lot of arts and crafts that she used both for fun and for school, and these were things that I didn’t bother with much, so she knew where to hide things so I wouldn’t see them. It seemed funny to me that she was too lazy to bother to throw all the wrappers away. She could have easily hidden them in a piece of paper and thrown it in the garbage a few at a time, or even shoved them deep, down in the trash while I wasn’t looking or when I was outside or not home.

Emma’s attitude also soured, and after hearing a clip on the radio about a news anchor whose mic was on when she was talking about her sister-in-law, calling her a “control-freak” and “micromanaging,” those became Emma’s two favorite phrases to describe her mother. She called me these things over and over again. Emma decided it was time to challenge my authority as her teacher, and all of a sudden, I was the idiot who knew nothing, and she was the teen who knew it all. She seemed to think my whole goal in homeschooling was to make her life miserable.

Because I couldn’t trust Emma to get her work done, I ended up being her babysitter or maybe “warden” is a better word. I couldn’t leave the school room to do other things because Emma would stop doing her work. Homeschooling took a lot of time, for me as a parent, but then it became endless. It was sad to me because I knew so many kids at the arts program who were homeschooling and did not have the attitude that Emma had. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I enjoyed homeschooling with Emma the first few years. I think I learned as much as she did, but when she was supposed to becoming more mature and independent and able to do her assignments on her own, without me there at every step, Emma just didn’t do it. Maybe it was her way of rebelling, I don’t know. I just knew homeschooling wasn’t working anymore, and it was time to quit. I felt like a homeschool failure, but I knew I had seen many kids in the arts program quit to attend public school. Some parents worried they couldn’t deal with the difficult subjects like biology and algebra. Other parents, like me, couldn’t deal with the nasty teenage attitude.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School

High School seemed like a good time for a fresh start, and we enrolled Emma in Jackson County Comprehensive High School in Jefferson Ga. I remember, later on, a friend who knew Emma personally commenting to me that Emma seemed to have a fascination or obsession with sex. Emma was always commenting on the kids at school being sexually active. Sometime the summer before Emma started her freshman year at JCCHS, we’d seen an article in the local paper about the number of kids in Jackson county who were sexually active. It seems like I remember reading that 70% of the kids in high school had had sex. Once Emma saw that, it must have stuck with her and to her, everyone (except Emma, who would later buy herself a purity ring) she knew was having sex. Emma talked about the kids at school having sex a LOT. If it wasn’t sex, it was about someone being pregnant or thinking they might be pregnant.

Before school started, Emma, along with all the other freshmen, had to ride the bus to school and find their classes in an effort to make their first day easier. If you’ve read my earlier posts, Emma claimed that on the bus she sat next to a girl who was a freshman for the 2nd time and who had a 4 year old. This turned out not to be true. Emma also claimed that there were about 10 pregnant freshman girls, but later when I checked with our neighbor who was a P.E. teacher at the school, Coach Cora Andrews (Dr. Cora Andrews), she told me there were only two pregnancies that year at the school.

About the first month or two, Emma LOVED school. She loved riding the bus with three girls in our neighborhood who were all sophomores and one neighbor who lived in Quail Crossing, a subdivision close to our Deer Creek Subdivision, who was also a freshman. I remember Emma coming home after a week or so of school and defiantly telling me, “You could never make me homeschool again!”

After a couple of months, Emma’s tone changed and she wanted to go back to homeschooling. She hated school and had nothing nice to say about the girls on the bus that she started out calling her “friends.” All of a sudden, the stories changed and these 4 girls were all having sex, drinking, doing drugs, stealing alcohol from their parents, etc. Emma no longer called them friends, but referred to them as acquaintances. She made up stories about one the brother of one of the girls who lived on our street, claiming that he had been arrested for pot possession for the second time, but the parents didn’t know. She complained about how much time was wasted in class, and how much time was wasted riding the bus. One day, she gave me a blow by blow account of her day to tell me how little work she actually did. One day Emma got very angry with me for not pulling her out of Jackson County Comprehensive High School. I will never forget her screaming at me how it was my fault because I “gave up on her.”

Besides the “acquaintances” Emma rode the bus with, she had nothing nice to say about anyone on the bus. She claimed that kids smoked on the bus and the bus driver didn’t notice. She claimed that drugs were sold on the bus. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you’ll remember that Emma claimed she was drug searched when a neighbor boy turned in her name along with her “acquaintances” because he had a grudge against one of the girls. (This story turned out not to be true, and I confirmed it with one of the school administrators, Kendra Phillips, who told me that if Emma had been drug searched, Ms. Phillips would have been present for it. I also checked with some of the girls Emma rode the bus with, and they never saw anyone selling drugs on the bus.) After reading a Reader’s Digest article on teenagers having drug parties, where they took medication from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw everything into a bowl and then took handfuls of pills, Emma claimed that these parties went on at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, and she mentioned one of the girls, in particular, as a participant in these parties. (This is the same young lady Emma made up the story of having an abortion that fall, and then at the end of the year claimed she thought she was pregnant again.) Also, one day we saw a news clip about a boy in another part of the country who wanted to dress as a girl, do his hair, wear makeup, etc. Shortly after that, Emma claimed there were boys at school who dressed as girls, wore makeup and pantyhose, etc. I remember I just sort of blew this off thinking Emma didn’t have her facts straight. JCCHS had a fairly strict dress code, so I couldn’t imagine this going on, but Emma insisted. It wasn’t something I cared enough about to investigate, so I never did.

From what I could tell, Emma’s “acquaintances” still thought of her as a friend. They tried to invite Emma to do things with them, but Emma frequently refused. She didn’t want to associate with these girls. I didn’t think about it until later when a friend pointed out to me that Emma seemed to always think of herself as superior to everyone else. All the kids at school were drug users, having sex, having abortions, drinking, etc., but my daughter was the “good girl.” She complained that her “aquaintances” made fun of her for attending church, being involved in the youth group, being a goody two-shoes, being smart, etc. She also claimed they made fun of her for being smart, the way she talked, the way she dressed, said she had a big nose etc., etc., etc. If most of us look back to high school, we can remember some teasing, and maybe even some bullying, but these girls tried to befriend Emma, and I have to wonder if any or all of Emma’s accusations were true. I can imagine some teasing going on, but the girl Emma claimed to have had an abortion and then possibly a 2nd pregnancy (in addition to taking drugs and drinking), was nothing but kind to Emma when Emma started public school. She was very helpful in explaining what to expect, what she would need, telling her about classes, teachers, etc.

Emm’s old lady shirt. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

One particular complaint I remember was about a shirt Emma wore. (See picture.) Phill had picked up this shirt at Sam’s or Costco, thinking Emma would like it. I don’t remember if we just gave it to her or saved it for her birthday, but in any event, it was very similar to what we saw lots of teen girls wearing, and it looked cute on her.

One day, Emma came home complaining that her “acquaintances” had made fun of her wearing this shirt. I asked how that could be as it looked pretty much like what all the other girls wore. Emma said that they told her that hers looked like an old lady shirt. Ok, dear readers. If you are familiar with this style, would someone please explain to me how Emma’s shirt looks any different from the dozens and dozens of this style that I have seen on teen girls?

I had tried to encourage Emma to get involved in school activities, and offered to take her to music lessons if she wanted to join the band. Since Emma played the piano, I knew she could easily learn another instrument and get into the band since I had learned a 2nd instrument in high school so that I could play in the jazz band. At least one, and maybe two of Emma’s “acquaintances” on the bus were in the band, and one of the girls had told me about the band trips. Remembering my own band trips, I thought this was something Emma would enjoy, but she claimed that the band trips were known for drinking, drugs, and kids having sex on the bus. She was definitely not interested.

The Drama Department at JCCHS

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts. Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma did get into Drama I, and she loved it. She hated the kids who were just in there because they had to take an elective and were not serious about Drama. Emma tried out for the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman and got the lead. I remember meeting her teacher, Bonnie Roberts, and Mrs. Roberts told me about Emma walking into the audition and when she spoke, “Meryl Streep’s voice came out!” Emma has a great voice that projects well.

Emma was in her element once she found Drama. She absolutely loved it and loved Mrs. Roberts. Like everything else, Emma began telling stories about the Drama group. I don’t even remember all the stories now, but one was that all the girls who worked on the crew were lesbians. I didn’t really buy it, and I wondered if Emma came up with this story from listening to Neal Boortz. (Phill and I were huge Neal Boortz fans, so our radio was always on whether at home or in the car, and Emma grew up listening to his program. In retrospect, I wonder if Emma lacked the maturity for this kind of program.) Several times on his program, we’d heard Neal talk about Lugs (Lesbians Until Graduation), girls who were experimenting with their sexuality or who just took on the roll of being a lesbian because they didn’t find anyone at their high school they wanted to date. According to Emma, ALL the girls on the drama crew were lesbians and I remember her talking about two off them being a couple. Whether or not this is true, who knows? It wasn’t something I cared about one way or the other.

An Early Accusation of Sexual Assault

One evening, when I picked Emma up after rehearsal, she was very upset. She claimed that she went backstage for something, and that the male lead, a young man named Johnny Boddie, a boy Emma described as very arrogant, had tried to kiss her. Emma told me she slapped him and ran away, and then she begged me not to tell Phill about the attempted kiss. At first I questioned Emma about the story. What was she doing when she went back stage? What was Johnny doing? What did they talk about? Why did she think he was trying to kiss her? Was he just reaching for something that happened to be in her proximity? Later on I wondered if this Emma’s first attempt at claiming sexual assault? This would have been about a year and half before Emma alleged to have been sexually assaulted by the priest. Was this a practice run or her dress rehearsal for the next big show? Later, when I go through Emma’s e-mails, you will see how she describes the story in a much more sinister fashion to her pen-pal, “Lacey.”

Emma was adamant that Johnny had tried to kiss her, although she never really gave me in details of how the event occurred. If that were the case, I told Emma that I thought she handled it just fine, but of course, I didn’t keep too many secrets from Phill, so I told him the story. A couple of weeks later, we were leaving church, and I don’t remember what we were talking about, but Phill brought up the story of Emma slapping Johnny Boddie, and Emma was FURIOUS with me for telling her dad. When I contacted Johnny Boddie and asked him if I could ask him a few questions about his time with Emma at JCCHS, he stated that his communications with Emma were minimal and that they had worked on one play together. He stated he had no recollection whatsoever of any conversations over topics other than the play or school work, so I never really got to ask him if he had attempted to kiss Emma. He ended his e-mail with a comment about how I should respect my daughter’s privacy or some such thing. One of Emma’s former friends told me that while Johnny was pompous, he was not aggressive. I have to admit, from his e-mail, he sounded pretty much just as Emma and her friends described him. I’m sure if he’d been disciplined for attempting to sexually assault another student, he might have felt a little differently about Emma’ right to privacy.

Emma told other interesting stories about Johnny Boddie, who was a junior when Emma was a freshman. Emma claimed that Johnny was engaged, which I thought sounded a little bizarre for a 16 year old in this day and time, and I did question her about it, but there again, I wasn’t going to go up to this 11th grade kid and ask him about the engagement. Then, that fall, not too long into the school year, Emma said that Johnny’s fiancé had moved away, and although he was a notorious flirt and cheated on his fiancé, he was still engaged. Again, I was not interested enough to investigate this story.

When the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman was put on at JCCHS, there was a scene where Johnny was shirtless, and it looked like he was pigeon chested. I don’t know if Emma had never heard of or seen this type of deformity before, but after the play, she brought it up and told me that the reason Johnny’s chest sank it was because he had been run over by a car when he was a child. Ummm, ok. I didn’t quite believe it, but I didn’t exactly give the kid a medical examination to check, so I let that one go.

Lies about Losing the Drama Competition

Jackson County Comprehensive High School’s Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma’s freshman year.

The drama department performed Metamorphosis for a district competition, and if they had won, they would have gone on to state. First, the play was put on at the high school during school, and then two nights for the parents. Sadly, the attendance was pretty poor, but Mrs. Roberts and the drama department did a wonderful job. Phill was working on the nights the play was put on, so he went to the dress rehearsals and video recorded the play for Mrs. Roberts and made copies. (Maybe one day he will give me a copy.) By recording the production for Mrs. Roberts, Phill was able to see the play, and I went to both shows.

Mrs. Roberts had a photographer taking photos of the cast, and the parents could buy a disc of the photos, so of course I did. I remember asking the photographer about the photos and she asked who my child was. At that time, Emma was going by Emma Kate Roey, instead of her usual Emma, so I told the photographer, and she said, “Oh! She’s the lead!” I remember being surprised because I really didn’t know anything about the play and while it sounded like Emma had a big part in it, I certainly didn’t know she was the lead. She did a wonderful job though, and I was very proud of her.

I don’t remember where the competition was, but I had to have Emma at the school early one Saturday to board the bus with the other drama kids to go to their competition. I was nervous and excited for her, and knew Emma would have a great time.

That evening, when I picked Emma up, she was not happy. Her group had not done well. Emma told me that another school had tampered with their sound equipment and ended up messing up the whole show. I really didn’t quite understand what she was saying, but according to Emma, another school had messed up their performance and they didn’t get a chance to do it over, etc., etc. I know these things have rules, and I wasn’t there, but the long and short of it was that they lost the competition. It really wasn’t until a few months ago that I contacted Bonnie Roberts to ask her about this story. Surprise, surprise! There was no tampering or vandalism as Emma claimed. Mrs. Roberts told me that her disc was not formatted properly for the equipment that they had to use at the competition. It was pretty simple really, but I guess Emma needed someone to blame for losing, so she made up another story.

Emma Complains of Racial Favoritism at JCCHS

Phill used to joke that Emma was a little racist. Emma could be very judgmental about other cultures. Emma frequently complained about reverse discrimination at her school. She thought the school showed favoritism to the black students and that the black students got away with stuff that the white students would not get away with. It’s been a few years, and her complaints were so petty, that I don’t even remember what they were. I’m not sure where this attitude came from unless it was just from our quiet life and Emma growing up in Jackson County, Ga. Phill grew up in Brick Town New Jersey, around different cultures, and I grew up overseas as well as in the U.S., moving every 2-3 years, so we both had been around a lot of different kinds of people.

One day, Emma complained about another 9th grader, a black young man, who was in Emma’s drama class. Emma told me that this young man accused her of being a racist. I have no idea what led up to the accusation, but Emma complained about this boy several times over the course of the semester. She made it very clear she did not like him at all. I remember her telling me this particular story of him saying to her, “You don’t like black people.”
She told me that she replied, “I don’t like SOME black people. I don’t like SOME white people.”
She also told me that she said, “I prefer to judge people on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin.” And then she exclaimed, “Mom! He didn’t even get that I was quoting Martin Luther King!”

Truth or Fiction? I’ll let my readers guess for themselves if this story even occurred or was it another one of Emma’s dramatizations.

ROTC

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Before school started, Emma had to pick her electives. In addition to Drama, she had to pick another elective. I was very surprised when she chose ROTC. My daughter? Emma was not the military type. When she explained her choice to me, she told me that the period she had open for an elective her only choices were Drama or ROTC, and she said, “And Mom, I suck at dance!” Emma didn’t have a lot of experience with dance, but I thought she could have taken it and learned something, but Emma was the type, if she wasn’t good at something, she didn’t want to do it. It didn’t matter to me, and ROTC sounded pretty neat, so I hoped she would like it, but she didn’t.

ROTC brought pretty much the same complaints as Emma had about the rest of school. Sex, drugs, drinking… Emma claimed her platoon leader was mean. (This was the young man that she said accused her and her friends of having drugs on the bus, causing them to be drug searched.) Emma claimed that one of the ROTC girls in her class had a baby, and I found out later from another girl who was in ROTC with Emma that no one had a baby in ROTC that year. This classmate also told me that if you had a baby, you were out of ROTC and couldn’t rejoin.

While in ROTC, Emma told a great story (mentioned earlier) about a girl named Kristin who lived next door to us with her mother and stepfather, and how Kristin would get so nervous when she had to do presentation that she ran to the bathroom to throw up. The ROTC instructor sent Emma to check on Kristin, and Emma told me how funny it was and reenacted the tale of Kristin with her head over the toilet, laughing and saying that she didn’t know why she got so nervous and then would throw up again. Great story, but one of Emma’s ROTC classmates told me that it was just that, a story. This young lady told me that Kristin was a good speaker and later became a platoon leader.

Emma’s second semester, she had to take P.E. and Health, so she didn’t get to take Drama that semester. She was very unhappy at school, and never made any friends in 9th grade. She never invited anyone over, and the only time she was invited to someone’s home was along with some other girls to work on an English project. If you’ve read my earlier posts, that was the night she also went with this classmate to the church youth group at Walnut Fork Baptist Church, Hoschton. I won’t repeat the story again here, but Emma lied about her classmate, her classmate’s family, what went on at the youth group, etc.

One of Emma’s classmates told me, “Honestly I think Emma just really wanted attention and she wasn’t getting it from anybody but you. Any attention is better than no attention for her whether it be good or bad. She got absolutely no attention at all at school. People didn’t really get along with her there.”

Emma told me she couldn’t try out for the play that 2nd semester because it was only for the kids in the drama class, so she was disappointed about that since it was the only class she liked. Emma became more and more miserable and started throwing up more and more. She missed so much school that we had to pull her out and she finished 9th grade on line. It in her on-line English class where Emma was paired up with a young lady whom I will call “Lacey” who was another 9th grader from a different part of the state.

As I understood it, Emma had an English project where each child was assigned a pen-pal, and “Lacey” was Emma’s. They were supposed to write letters, but other than that I don’t remember how it worked. They may have had to copy their letters and turn them in to the English instructor. Emma got really into the letters and complained that “Lacey” did not write as often as she was supposed to.

Emma seemed to really enjoy the pen-pal relationship, and when the class was over, the two girls continued to e-mail and text each other. Emma began making up stories about “Lacey” and her family. Some of these stories were as follows:

Emma claimed “Lacey” had been molested as a child and volunteered with her church helping other kids who’d been molested. (Lie)

Emma claimed that “Lacey’s” mother had breast cancer (true) and was hospitalized and nearly died two or three times. (“Lacey’s” mother did have breast cancer, but was treated as an outpatient and never required hospitalization.)

The reason “Lacey” had to go to public school in 10th grade was because her mother was too sick from cancer to homeschool her anymore. (Lie. See above.)

When “Lacey” was in 10th grade, Emma claimed “Lacey’s” periods were so bad that she frequently had to leave school. (I never verified this one, but would be willing to bet it’s not true.)

And then, a few months after starting the pen-pal relationship, on Dec. 19, 2009, Emma’s birthday, Emma went to her church youth group, and when Phill and I picked her up, she claimed that she had received a call from “Lacey” who was at the ER near her NW Georgia home, after she’d been raped in her home during a Christmas get-together. For Emma’s 16th birthday, we’d planned on going out to eat, but because Phill was sick, he asked her if we could postpone. Emma was all involved in her youth group, but didn’t really have any friends to invite to a party, so it was a pretty low key birthday, and later Emma would complain to Suzie McGarvey, (North Georgia Counseling Associates, Formerly of Lanier Counseling) that her birthday wasn’t special enough. This was also the birthday where I’d taken Emma shopping several times and spent well over $400 (I want to say $460, but I can’t remember the exact total at the moment.) on her, a good bit more than we usually spent for a birthday or Christmas.

I keep thinking back to the comment made by one of Emma’s classmates, how she didn’t get any attention at school. Was the rape story because Emma did not get enough attention on her 16h birthday?

In any event, I will share with you some of the e-mails that Emma wrote to “Lacey.”

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged Alicia Yearwood, Applied Psycholocgical Health http://appliedpsychhealth.com/, Armstrong University, Bishop Foley Beach, Blair Weaver, Bonnie Roberts, Brooks Family, Brooks Family originally of Walton County, Candace Whitman, Demorest, Derek McCravy, Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett, Dr. Genie Burnett, Dr. Richard Born, elec, Electric Drone Society, Elizabeth G. Burnett, Emily Kirby, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Roey, Fayette Flyers, Fr. George Ivey, Georgia Board of Examiners of Psychologists, Georgia Gwinnett College, Greg McCravy, Gwinnett County Police Department, Gwinnett Young Singers, Heather Thompson, Hodges Hobbies, HODGES HOBBIES ALL ELECTRIC FLY-IN 2014, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, http://adots.org/about/bishop-and-staff/, http://dfcs.dhs.georgia.gov/jackson-county-dfcs-office, http://gwinnettyoungsingers.com/, http://mylifeinscriptures.blogspot.com/2013_06_01_archive.html, http://scenicrc.us/, http://www.electricdrones.com/, http://www.fayetteflyers.com/, http://www.hodgeshobbies.com/, http://www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org/, http://www.jackson.k12.ga.us/jcchs/index.php/2012-09-02-18-26-21/24-faculty-bios/327-b-roberts, http://www.laniercounseling.com/index.html, http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff, http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com/, http://www.rcflightdeck.com/event_details.cfm?event_id=3139&i=0, http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com/, http://www.tripletreeaerodrome.com/joe-nall-week.php, http://www.wright.edu/, https://www.facebook.com/HodgesHobbies, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brooks-Family/93421367163, https://www.piedmont.edu/pc/index.php, Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Jackson County DFCS, Jackson County Sheriff's Office, JCCHS, Jefferson City Schools, Jefferson High School, Joe Nall, Joe Nall Week, Johnathan McCravy, Kathryn Brooks, Kayla Benified Weaver, Kayla Benifield Weaver, Kendra Phillips, Lanier Counseling, Lynn Urda, Manna Treatement, Manna Treatment & Counseling, Mary Zimmerman, Metamorphosis, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Paulette Ivey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Piedmont College, Rachelle Hutchinson, rcgroups.com, Sandi McCravy, Sandra Brooks McCravy, Sandy McCravy, Scenic RC Flyers, SEFF, SEFF Week: April 20th - 26th 2015, seffweek.com, Social Empowerment Center, Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Suzie McGarvey, Tamara Hardy, Tamesha, William Griffin Brooks, Wright State University, www.armstrong.edu/, www.peachford.com

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Losing Emma

Tag Archives: SEFF Week: April 20th – 26th 2015