Tag Archives: Metamorphosis

Letters to Lacey Part 16, Emma Accuses Johnny Boddie ****Completed June 21, 2015***

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Part 16  Sept. 21, 2009

Johnny Boddie

Emma starts off this letter telling “Lacey” she is in more messes than she cares to think about at the moment, but of course that blocks out any possibility of finding a solution, so perhaps she’d better think about them… The past two weeks have been creepily coincidental for Emma. She guesses she’d better start at the beginning, since that would make the most sense. It goes back to when she was in Jackson County Comprehensive High School (Jefferson, Ga.), in drama. She didn’t tell “Lacey” about this earlier because Emma had put a “mental block” on it. She knows that’s not healthy, but sometimes it’s easier than facing things. And up until now, Emma sort of thought it was behind her. She says she’s going to explain it quickly, and it may not completely make sense, but she’d rather not edit or revise this. She’d rather not think about it at all, but maybe “Lacey” has some advice that would help.

Emma really loved her drama teacher (Bonnie Roberts), and from day one, two students stood out as the best in the class. (Emma is referring to herself and a young man named Johnny Bodie.) Because they were the best, the two of them were always assigned to work together and the rest of the class enjoyed watching Emma and Johnny. If they were doing groups, Emma claims that everyone wanted to be in the group with Emma and Johnny. Johnny seemed nice, but almost too nice. It was like he was behind something more sinister. She tried to ignore it since, A) Emma has proven herself to be waaay paranoid and b) Emma did not have the tiniest reason to think she was right. Anyway, he was a junior and Emma sort of looked to him to know how to act in a school environment, since she’d never known one before. The two of them were cast as the two leads in the play which was no less than anyone expected. The one-act went off without a hitch, and Emma enjoyed it.

Some of the cast from the Jackson County Comprehensive High Shchool's production of Metamorphosis with teacher Bonnie Roberts. Emma is 2nd from left. Johnny Boddie is in the front, in the suit. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey,

Some of the cast from the Jackson County Comprehensive High Shchool’s production of Metamorphosis with teacher Bonnie Roberts. Emma is 2nd from left. Johnny Boddie is in the front, in the suit. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey,

Then there was the “showcase,” the final at the end of the year that everyone had to participate in. They were in groups of five and of course, Emma was in Johnny’s group. Rehearsals went normally until final dress. After final, they were supposed to grab their props and head upstairs to the loft until people came in. Emma was half way up when she realized she’d forgotten her notebook and pen (her props) backstage. She could go up and face Mrs. Roberts’ wrath or she could run back and get them with her none the wiser. So, she ran down the stairs, through the curtains, back to the stage. It was nearly dark. She’d forgotten that Johnny would still be there, since he had to rig the curtain before the show, all by himself. Emma claims she put herself in a bad situation, and it was stupid of her to do so. She was so scared she didn’t know what to do. She pushed Johnny away and grabbed her props and ran. She sat on the staircase for a half hour or so, too shaken to go inside. No one missed her as it turned out. Emma says she couldn’t tell anyone. Her parents are prone to overreaction, and she doesn’t mean talking to the school. She means they would probably press criminal charges, and you know that would be all over the school in a heartbeat, so Emma didn’t tell, and she won’t now because it’s all behind her, but it’s just been creepy. First, he was in the paper, and she saw the picture, and then she met a couple of girls from the cast on Saturday, purely by chance. They wanted Emma to come see the show and they mentioned that Johnny had the lead. Emma tells “Lacey” that she can’t go to the play by herself because she would have to pass Johnny in the lobby as she left. She could get some friends to go but a) it would probably be a pretty bad show, and b) her friends life too far away. She wants to go, but just can’t.

AND…….Emma goes on to complain to “Lacey”, her mom wants her to try out for the school play next semester. She can’t. She can’t. She can’t. Emma knows she would get the lead, and he would too. But she can’t tell her mom that that is why she doesn’t want to go.

(I’ve mentioned this story about Johnny Boddie already, but for those of you who haven’t read it, here it is again.  I had heard Emma talk about Johnny before I saw him for the first time at school.  Most of the time, Emma sounded like she got along with Johnny ok, although I could tell she wasn’t crazy about him.  She claimed he was pompous, arrogant, stuck on himself… Emma claimed Johnny was engaged, but later said his girlfriend moved out of state, but he was still engaged although he flirted with any girl around and dated other girls even though he claimed to be engaged.  I thought it odd that a high school junior would be “engaged” and questioned Emma about it, wondering if she’d misunderstood something, but she insisted and I let it go.  I didn’t really care one way or the other.

When I saw Johnny in the play, he and Emma definitely stood out among the other kids.  They both had great, booming voices, and did very well.  Some of the kids spoke too softly.  Emma’s role was more of a narrator, so Metamorphosis didn’t really show her acting skills, but it was the female lead.  Johnny’s acting showed more of a variety of his skills I guess you would say, and he was very good.  Emma told me that Johnny had had some community theater experience, and I would have believed it.

In one scene, Johnny wore swim trunks, and he had some sort of sunken area or indention in the middle of his chest.  Emma claimed Johnny had been run over as a child, and that’s why his chest was the way it was.  I have no idea if this story is true either.  As for the whole attempted assault that Emma insinuates in this letter, Emma is lying when she tells “Lacey” that she couldn’t tell anyone.  Emma got in the car and COULDN”T WAIT to tell me about it.  I believe it was the night of the Showcase, which was a bunch of short skits.  I don’t really remember the skits now, but I do remember that all the kids wore black, and they did a great job.  I think there were some monologues, some duos, trios, and group skits.  It was a lot of fun to watch. 

After the show, I waited on Emma in the lobby, and we walked out to the car to head home.  I had wanted to take Emma out to dinner or something, but it was already late, and she had school the next day.  Emma never functioned well when she was short on sleep, and trying to get her out of bed in the morning would have been a nightmare if I’d kept her out too late.  I don’t think we got home until around 10pm, maybe later.  We weren’t even out of the school parking lot when Emma started telling me the story about how Johnny had tried to kiss her.  Knowing how paranoid Emma could be, I wondered if Johnny had just gotten in Emma’s personal space and maybe she took it the wrong way.  Emma explained that she’d forgotten something backstage and when she went back to get it off a shelf or something, Johnny was there and leaned in like he was going to kiss her.  She said she slapped him and ran away.  I didn’t quite believe the story, and asked Emma a lot of questions.  Was she sure he was trying to kiss her?  Did he say anything?  What was he doing backstage?………  Or was it perhaps a young man who may have had a crush on Emma and tried to steal a kiss?  Who knows?   Emma insisted that Johnny tried to kiss her and she slapped him.  I told her that well, if that’s how it happened, i thought she handled herself pretty well.  There was never any threat of pressing criminal charges against Johnny.  Emma was fine.  She wasn’t raped.  She wasn’t upset.  The one thing that was a little odd was that Emma begged me not to tell her dad what happened.  I told her that her dad would be proud of how she handled the situation, but Emma insisted I not tell Phill.  If you’ve read the blog, you know I didn’t keep secrets from Phill, so I did tell him about it, and of course that came back to bite me on the butt when Phill mentioned it after church one day.  Emma was FURIOUS with me for having told Phill about Johnny’s attempted assault.

So, just why does Emma tell “Lacey” that she couldn’t tell anyone about Johnny’s attempted kiss?  She was dying to tell me about it! As I mentioned earlier, I did attempt to contact Johnny Boddie one time and told him I wanted to ask him some things about Emma.  His response did sound rather pompous and arrogant, although a classmate did describe him as arrogant , she also said that the story about the attempted kiss did not sound like Johnny.    Johnny claimed to have had minimal contact with Emma and he did not recollect any conversations over topics other than school or the play.  He also said something about I should have more respect for Emma’s privacy.  All well and good, Johnny Boddie, but had Emma accused you of sexual assault, like she did the priest, I’m sure you would feel a little differently. 

Another interesting point is when Emma said she looked to Johnny to know how to act in a school environment because she had never known one before.  Huh?  Emma was in school for 4 years (grades K-3) and then in a homeschool arts program where she attended classes.  Yes, it was a bunch of homeschoolers, but it was in classrooms with teachers and the students had to change classes, etc.  It was what I would certainly call a school environment!  But I guess Emma needed to sound a little more dramatic.) To Be Continued………..  

Sept. 25, 2009

Another fun thing to look forward to, Emma tells “Lacey” is that her mom was on the phone with her friend Sandi (Sandra Brooks McCravy, Sandi McCravy). Actually they are on the phone all the time, but this time it has particularly undesirable consequences. Emma heard them talking about Johnathan (Johnathan McCravy), Sandi’s son, that Emma hadn’t seen in four years. And her mom gets off the phone and says, expecting Emma to be duly thrilled, “Guess What? A new dance school opened up over in Gainesville, and Sandi and I have decided to put you and Johnathan in dance lessons together! You’ll be partners! Isn’t that great?” Oh, yeah. Great For a multitude of reasons: Emma is not coordinated. She hasn’t seen this guy since they were in middle school, and she thinks she is finally actually in her first real relationship (with Evan) but she is in dance lessons with another guy. It’s not fair. And there’s not much she can do about it.

Emma’s mom has also decided that she is missing out on regular high school life. She had no problem homeschooling Emma in middle school, or pulling her out of public high school, but now she’s decided she wants Emma to have a regular school experience. She’s not actually sending her to school, but Jord told Emma she could come to homecoming with her group, and Emma’s mom wanted her to go to that. No way. Shed be alone in a huge group of people she didn’t know while Jordan was flitting around chatting with her enormous group of friends and she would be miserable. So now she’s hoping Evan will ask her to homecoming. And, she doesn’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a dress when she could be saving it for Haiti. She knows her parents would help her, and we’re not exactly struggling like some people are, but money is tight right now.

Emma tells “Lacey” to let her know what is going on with “Lacey” and Aaron. She asks what “Lacey’s” sister thinks and says that maybe if her sister tells her “rents” she likes him it will help? He sounds really sweet, and as long as he treats “Lacey” right, Emma approves.  Emma says to tell him if he breaks her heart, she has a psychopathic pen-pal who will make him sorry he was born. (Just kidding…..maybe…)


Well, at one point Sandi and I did discuss putting the kids in some sort of ballroom class, thinking it would be good for them. Emma often complained she didn’t know how to dance, and Sandi and I thought they might have fun and gain a little confidence in a class. Emma’s eavesdropping skills were off though because it wasn’t in Gainseville. Gainesville would have been a long drive for both of us. The class was in Winder, between Sandi’s home in Lawrenceville and our home in Hoschton. It was something we talked about, but it never came to pass, and the quotes that Emma made up of me telling her they will be partners and “isn’t that great?” is completely fabricated. I just mentioned that we talked about the class and asked Emma is she would like to try it. Sandi and I both thought the kids would like it if there was someone else they knew there.

Emma claims that she hadn’t seen Johnathan in four years. I’m not sure why Emma choose to say that. Sandi had taken the kids out of the homeschool program we were in, so we did not see them every week like we had been, but we still got together now and then. At times, we were both so busy with our kids school and activities that we might talk on the phone several times a week, and only got the kids together a couple of times a year. Four years? I guess if you’re going to exaggerate, go big!

More exaggeration and fabrication; Emma’s friend Jordan did invite her to homecoming with a group of Jordan’s girl friends. Emma loved dressing up, and I thought she might like to go with a group of girls, and just have fun, so I told her if she wanted to go it was fine. I thought it was sweet of Jordan to include Emma, but Emma wasn’t interested. As for money, it wouldn’t have cost Emma anything, because her dad and I would not have expected Emma to buy a dress, etc. We would have taken care of it for her.

Emma also exaggerates the story about me wanting Evan to invite her to his homecoming. Emma had a major crush on Evan and talked about him all the time, but I was not trying to up my daughter’s dating life. I did want to encourage Emma to do things with other kids because all she pretty much did was sit in front of the computer. It just didn’t seem right.

And the psychopathic pen-pal? Kind of prophetic.

Sept 28, 2009

Emma tells Lacey she is sorry she forgot to mail this letter last week. She will finish it and send it today. She hopes. She did a lot of school work and has nothing to really tell until the weekend. Well, actually nothing to tell until Friday after school. That counts as the weekend, right? She got her first Happeneing letter Friday morning (the church retreat that Emma told “Lacey about). Emma and Rob are both on team, and she’s excited. After you’ve been once, you are “on team”. They have a lot of applicants, but Emma and Rob were in the 50 people they chose. Emma was one of the seven people they chose to give a speech, which “Lacey” will of course read and tell Emma what she thinks once Emma writes it…..but she will explain more about it later.

Emma talks about how the youth group was supposed to go on a camping trip to lake Hartwell, but they couldn’t go because of rain, so on Fri. she called everyone because they still needed to work out what music they were using for the Sock Hop. Emma told them to meet at the church and Phill and I were to bring them home for lunch. Emma claimed it’s always fun to call Jordan’s house because with the four kids, the phone is randomly thrown around until it reaches the person you are trying to talk to. Sometimes it takes a few minutes. Eventually she got through to Jordan, though, she probably should have talked to Alex since she is a bit more responsible than her older sister, Lol. Then she talked to Rob’s voicemail, which is all she ever gets because he and Jordan both randomly lose their cell phones, but they’re not at their house, so there’s not home phone to call. Then she called Evan, and they ended up talking for 20 minutes about nothing in particular, although she has no clue how that happens. Evan told Emma he liked her, but he never said anything else about it. Emma doesn’t know what to think! Is he going to ask her out? She thought he was, but now she’s not sure. She has no clue and asks “Lacey” what she thinks.

Saturday came, and the kids met at church, except that somehow Jordan decided it was Friday, even though she wasn’t in school, and was very surprised when Emma called asking where she was. Emma says she couldn’t get through to Rob, but that would be solved later in the afternoon. The kids came to our home, and Emma says that Jordan totally took over, hich was fine with her. She knew exactly what songs she wanted to use, she just needed Emma’s dad to put it together. Emma told Evan before Jordan got there that Jordan knew what she wanted to do, and the rest of them were just there to keep her in check. Emma says she was half joking, but that was pretty much how it went. While Emma’s dad put the medley together, the kids played ping-pong in the garage. They always have fun with that. Jordan brought her iTouch and speakers out there, so she was too distracted with that to play well. Emma served her an easy shot and she closed her eyes and blocked her face with the paddle. The ball bounced off into one of the many impossible places in the garage, so of course Evan’s going, “I can get it!” Yes, Emma says, I realize you could move the si bookshelves and 12 boxes of books and junk we have out there, but it’s just not worth it to get a ping-pong ball. We keep about 12, and when we run out, it’s time to clean the garage. The system works fairly well.

Rob called Emma at least three times, not sure whether he could come or not. Then he called to apologize for not coming. Emma says they tease Rob because he always apologizes for everything multiple times. Jordan loves to tell the story about when they were passing notes in study hall and she wrote, “You apologize too much.” And he wrote back, “I’m sorry.” So they were out playing ping-pong and Alex said, “Emma, you play Rob.” She meant Evan of course, and we all knew it, but Evan starts going, “I’m sorry Emma I’m really sorry…” which about killed them because it was just like Rob.

Ok, totally changing gears, Emma says she just got “Lacey’s” e-mail. First off, she says not to worry about talking too much about Aaron. Emma tells “Lacey” that she loves her and wants to hear everything she has to say. It is a huge first for “Lacey” and Emma says it is totally natural for her to be nervous and to think about him all the time. Emma mentions that they have talked about walls, and how she does the same thing. She is scared to let people in, and “Lacey” is literally the only person she is totally honest with. She is not a pathological liar, but she just doesn’t tell people what she is thinking. She knows “Lacey” does the same thing. It is easier when people think you have no problems and you’re this happy plastic person…

Or are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we’ll close the curtains
On our stained glass masquerade

Emma tells Lace that that is from by Stained Glass Masquerade Casting Crowns. It just ran through her head as she was writing, and it totally fits. What’s really funny is that “Lacey” said exactly what Emma has said for years. The more she lets people in, the more they can hurt her. That is exactly what Emma has struggled with. To give it a fancy psychologist name, it’s a trust issue. But someday “Lacey” will want to get married, and to do that, she has to trust Aaron. Yes, when he goes to college, he will meet other girls, but that temptation doesn’t disappear when he graduates! Just, hypothetically, let’s fast forward seven years and say they are married; there will be other women where he works other women at church, other women in the grocery store, and for “Lacey” there will be a ton of other men that she will meet and probably several that she will work closely with. They both have to trust each other! But for a relationship to be built on a firm foundation, that trust is not going to come overnight! Emma is glad “Lacey” doesn’t trust him immediately! She shouldn’t. If “Lacey” gives him her heart before he’s ready to take care of it, the chance of “Lacey” getting hurt goes waaay up. But if she date’s him for a year, keeps in contact while he’s in college, she’ll learn to trust him! Don’t worry about him finding another girl in college—there are other girls in high school! If he’s decided she’s the one he likes, then she has a ton of respect for him based purely on that. “Lacey” is sweet, smart, and classy. And that’s not going to change just because they don’t go to the same school anymore.

Emma says that “Lacey asks basically why she should give him a chance to break her heart? Emma struggles with the same thing, but whenever you start dating, you will have to eventually give someone the chance to do that. Emma wishes she could remember where she ready what she is about to say because she knows it was more eloquently phrased, but here it is: Your first love is taking a chance. You are letting someone else control whether you have to [sic] happiest time of your life or the most painful heartbreak. But that was from a secular perspective, so let Emma add a bit to it. God wants to save you from the most painful kind of heartbreak. Emma is not saying for a minute that “Lacey” would ever consider breaking the 7th commandment (thou shalt not commit adultery), Emma is just saying that if she did, losing him would hurt a hundred times worse. While Emma and “Lacey” may (and probably will) love and lose, they will never lose as badly as they would if they didn’t have God in their lives. And He will be by them every step of the way.

As far as for “Lacey” being nervous to talk to Aaron, Emma says that if he’s that understanding, he’s better than 95% of the guys out there, but “Lacey” will have to giver herself time to get used to this, and Emma promises it will get easier. “Lacey” will still love him, but she will get to the point where she’s not so nervous talking to him. And as for thinking of things she should have said, we all do that! Emma guarantees that every girl “Lacey” meets has been through the same thing. She’s surprised she can do so well texting, but if she can, good for her! And the more she texts, the more comfortable she will eventually be talking to him.

Emma talks about school and asks “Lacey” about a beach trip she took, and then gets back to walls, telling “Lacey” another thing about the walls: she thinks it’s easier for “Lacey” and Emma to talk because they aren’t talking face to face. Emma knows she could never tell “Lacey” everything she does if they were because it’s so hard to talk, but on paper, she can think until she knows what to say and then revise it until it makes sense. Texting is almost the same, but in face-to-face situations it’s really hard to know what to do, and Emma always wishes there was a backspace key.

Emma says she hopes she was some help and that she is more or less going through the same thing, so she doesn’t really have any experience to base her advice on. It’s just what she has read and what she’s learned watching other people. She tells “Lacey” to keep her updated and she won’t get tired of hearing it, and talking to each other helps both of them, and then signs off: Love ya!! Emma-Kate.

The ping-pong ball story is another silly exaggeration, and not quite the truth.

I find it interesting that Emma claims not to be a pathological liar, as well as how much advice Emma can give on relationships when, at that point, she’d never even been on a date. Interesting too that Emma is so interested in the 7th commandment, but doesn’t have any trouble breaking a few others.

Letters to “Lacey” – Preface (UPDATED 01/06/20115)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com
Thank you to my readers for your support and please continue to share the blog with others.

Letters to Lacey –Preface (How Emma ended up in on-line school, and connecting with the penpal she claimed was raped and attempted suicide.)

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

After five years of homeschooling, we decided to quit and put Emma in public school. I’m still a huge fan of homeschooling, but for Emma, it was probably a mistake. At first, I thought we did everything pretty well. In addition to school, Emma was involved in many, many activities. I wanted to make sure that Emma was well “socialized.” Over the years while homeschooling, Emma was involved in an arts program and took other homeschool group classes, she was on a kayaking team, in a homeschool chorus, church choir, church newsletter team, Sunday School, piano lessons, softball, a knitting group, a neighborhood bible study, a church book club, was a church acolyte, sang with the Gwinnett Young Singers under Lynn Urda and got to sing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, and we also went on homeschool field trips to places like the UGA Vet school, WSB TV/Radio in Atlanta, Coca Cola, the William Harris Homestead, the Capital, etc.

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends. To Emma's left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends. To Emma’s left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

Homeschooling started out great. Emma and I both enjoyed it. Seeing your child get excited about learning is an amazing experience. If Emma wanted to spend extra time on a subject, it was no problem. As a parent, I saw how so many things could turn into a learning opportunity. We would be out in public somewhere and see something that brought to mind something we learned in school. Or we would hear of something and want to know more about it, so Emma would do some research. For example, one birthday or Christmas, my sister sent Emma a prayer box necklace, and we were curious, so Emma looked up the history of prayer boxes and shared with me what she found. Thank goodness for Google!

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor's Mansion in Atlanta.

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor’s Mansion in Atlanta.

I probably should have stopped homeschooling in middle school, as after 2 or three years, it got more and more difficult. If I left the room, Emma kept books hidden in the school room, so she would pull out a book and read instead of doing her school work. We could have easily been done with school by 2pm every day, but Emma started dragging things out to 5pm, and sometimes later. I didn’t like doing school in the afternoon because I was always very tired in the afternoons and felt better in the mornings. I didn’t know at the time what was wrong, but I later found I had a medical condition causing the fatigue. School was Monday through Fridays, but sometimes Emma would drag her feet so much that we would have to do school on Saturdays. Part of the problem may have been that I had a child with a higher IQ than I have (I don’t know for sure about my IQ, but I’m guessing it is not as high as Emma’s!) and that Emma had no respect for Phill and I as authority figures. That may have been our mistake. We were a tight little family and we did everything together. Phill and I probably shouldn’t have included Emma in on so much, but we often treated her more as an equal in the family rather than the child. Because we both adored our daughter, her wishes often overrode our own, so yes, she was spoiled, but I reasoned that all kids seem to be spoiled nowadays.

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

In addition to reading when she should have been doing her school work, Emma did things like lying and cheating. If Emma needed to re-do some math problems, I would write the pages and the problem numbers on the board, and we would recheck them later. Emma started erasing the board, hoping I would forget about the work she needed to re-do.

I had to hide my teacher’s manual, so that Emma couldn’t cheat. One time, she hid one of my books, and I’m not sure as to the reasoning behind that. I guess she was trying to get out of math class that day.

I think I’ve mentioned Emma’s affinity for sweets, and how we would have to lock up things like chocolate chips, marshmallows, etc. or Emma would steal them. I would be all set to bake and not have what I needed because Emma had eaten them all. We also had to lock up the Halloween candy, and even with that, Emma discovered where the key was and I found dozens of candy wrappers in her room. One year, at the end of the school year, I was cleaning up our school room and found dozens of candy wrappers hidden out there between books, under things, and crammed in anywhere Emma could hide them that I might not look. She had a lot of arts and crafts that she used both for fun and for school, and these were things that I didn’t bother with much, so she knew where to hide things so I wouldn’t see them. It seemed funny to me that she was too lazy to bother to throw all the wrappers away. She could have easily hidden them in a piece of paper and thrown it in the garbage a few at a time, or even shoved them deep, down in the trash while I wasn’t looking or when I was outside or not home.

Emma’s attitude also soured, and after hearing a clip on the radio about a news anchor whose mic was on when she was talking about her sister-in-law, calling her a “control-freak” and “micromanaging,” those became Emma’s two favorite phrases to describe her mother. She called me these things over and over again. Emma decided it was time to challenge my authority as her teacher, and all of a sudden, I was the idiot who knew nothing, and she was the teen who knew it all. She seemed to think my whole goal in homeschooling was to make her life miserable.

Because I couldn’t trust Emma to get her work done, I ended up being her babysitter or maybe “warden” is a better word. I couldn’t leave the school room to do other things because Emma would stop doing her work. Homeschooling took a lot of time, for me as a parent, but then it became endless. It was sad to me because I knew so many kids at the arts program who were homeschooling and did not have the attitude that Emma had. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I enjoyed homeschooling with Emma the first few years. I think I learned as much as she did, but when she was supposed to becoming more mature and independent and able to do her assignments on her own, without me there at every step, Emma just didn’t do it. Maybe it was her way of rebelling, I don’t know. I just knew homeschooling wasn’t working anymore, and it was time to quit. I felt like a homeschool failure, but I knew I had seen many kids in the arts program quit to attend public school. Some parents worried they couldn’t deal with the difficult subjects like biology and algebra. Other parents, like me, couldn’t deal with the nasty teenage attitude.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School

High School seemed like a good time for a fresh start, and we enrolled Emma in Jackson County Comprehensive High School in Jefferson Ga. I remember, later on, a friend who knew Emma personally commenting to me that Emma seemed to have a fascination or obsession with sex. Emma was always commenting on the kids at school being sexually active. Sometime the summer before Emma started her freshman year at JCCHS, we’d seen an article in the local paper about the number of kids in Jackson county who were sexually active. It seems like I remember reading that 70% of the kids in high school had had sex. Once Emma saw that, it must have stuck with her and to her, everyone (except Emma, who would later buy herself a purity ring) she knew was having sex. Emma talked about the kids at school having sex a LOT. If it wasn’t sex, it was about someone being pregnant or thinking they might be pregnant.

Before school started, Emma, along with all the other freshmen, had to ride the bus to school and find their classes in an effort to make their first day easier. If you’ve read my earlier posts, Emma claimed that on the bus she sat next to a girl who was a freshman for the 2nd time and who had a 4 year old. This turned out not to be true. Emma also claimed that there were about 10 pregnant freshman girls, but later when I checked with our neighbor who was a P.E. teacher at the school, Coach Cora Andrews (Dr. Cora Andrews), she told me there were only two pregnancies that year at the school.

About the first month or two, Emma LOVED school. She loved riding the bus with three girls in our neighborhood who were all sophomores and one neighbor who lived in Quail Crossing, a subdivision close to our Deer Creek Subdivision, who was also a freshman. I remember Emma coming home after a week or so of school and defiantly telling me, “You could never make me homeschool again!”

After a couple of months, Emma’s tone changed and she wanted to go back to homeschooling. She hated school and had nothing nice to say about the girls on the bus that she started out calling her “friends.” All of a sudden, the stories changed and these 4 girls were all having sex, drinking, doing drugs, stealing alcohol from their parents, etc. Emma no longer called them friends, but referred to them as acquaintances. She made up stories about one the brother of one of the girls who lived on our street, claiming that he had been arrested for pot possession for the second time, but the parents didn’t know. She complained about how much time was wasted in class, and how much time was wasted riding the bus. One day, she gave me a blow by blow account of her day to tell me how little work she actually did. One day Emma got very angry with me for not pulling her out of Jackson County Comprehensive High School. I will never forget her screaming at me how it was my fault because I “gave up on her.”

Besides the “acquaintances” Emma rode the bus with, she had nothing nice to say about anyone on the bus. She claimed that kids smoked on the bus and the bus driver didn’t notice. She claimed that drugs were sold on the bus. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you’ll remember that Emma claimed she was drug searched when a neighbor boy turned in her name along with her “acquaintances” because he had a grudge against one of the girls. (This story turned out not to be true, and I confirmed it with one of the school administrators, Kendra Phillips, who told me that if Emma had been drug searched, Ms. Phillips would have been present for it. I also checked with some of the girls Emma rode the bus with, and they never saw anyone selling drugs on the bus.) After reading a Reader’s Digest article on teenagers having drug parties, where they took medication from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw everything into a bowl and then took handfuls of pills, Emma claimed that these parties went on at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, and she mentioned one of the girls, in particular, as a participant in these parties. (This is the same young lady Emma made up the story of having an abortion that fall, and then at the end of the year claimed she thought she was pregnant again.) Also, one day we saw a news clip about a boy in another part of the country who wanted to dress as a girl, do his hair, wear makeup, etc. Shortly after that, Emma claimed there were boys at school who dressed as girls, wore makeup and pantyhose, etc. I remember I just sort of blew this off thinking Emma didn’t have her facts straight. JCCHS had a fairly strict dress code, so I couldn’t imagine this going on, but Emma insisted. It wasn’t something I cared enough about to investigate, so I never did.

From what I could tell, Emma’s “acquaintances” still thought of her as a friend. They tried to invite Emma to do things with them, but Emma frequently refused. She didn’t want to associate with these girls. I didn’t think about it until later when a friend pointed out to me that Emma seemed to always think of herself as superior to everyone else. All the kids at school were drug users, having sex, having abortions, drinking, etc., but my daughter was the “good girl.” She complained that her “aquaintances” made fun of her for attending church, being involved in the youth group, being a goody two-shoes, being smart, etc. She also claimed they made fun of her for being smart, the way she talked, the way she dressed, said she had a big nose etc., etc., etc. If most of us look back to high school, we can remember some teasing, and maybe even some bullying, but these girls tried to befriend Emma, and I have to wonder if any or all of Emma’s accusations were true. I can imagine some teasing going on, but the girl Emma claimed to have had an abortion and then possibly a 2nd pregnancy (in addition to taking drugs and drinking), was nothing but kind to Emma when Emma started public school. She was very helpful in explaining what to expect, what she would need, telling her about classes, teachers, etc.

Emm's old lady shirt. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emm’s old lady shirt. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

One particular complaint I remember was about a shirt Emma wore. (See picture.) Phill had picked up this shirt at Sam’s or Costco, thinking Emma would like it. I don’t remember if we just gave it to her or saved it for her birthday, but in any event, it was very similar to what we saw lots of teen girls wearing, and it looked cute on her.

One day, Emma came home complaining that her “acquaintances” had made fun of her wearing this shirt. I asked how that could be as it looked pretty much like what all the other girls wore. Emma said that they told her that hers looked like an old lady shirt. Ok, dear readers. If you are familiar with this style, would someone please explain to me how Emma’s shirt looks any different from the dozens and dozens of this style that I have seen on teen girls?

I had tried to encourage Emma to get involved in school activities, and offered to take her to music lessons if she wanted to join the band. Since Emma played the piano, I knew she could easily learn another instrument and get into the band since I had learned a 2nd instrument in high school so that I could play in the jazz band. At least one, and maybe two of Emma’s “acquaintances” on the bus were in the band, and one of the girls had told me about the band trips. Remembering my own band trips, I thought this was something Emma would enjoy, but she claimed that the band trips were known for drinking, drugs, and kids having sex on the bus. She was definitely not interested.

The Drama Department at JCCHS

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts. Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts. Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma did get into Drama I, and she loved it. She hated the kids who were just in there because they had to take an elective and were not serious about Drama. Emma tried out for the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman and got the lead. I remember meeting her teacher, Bonnie Roberts, and Mrs. Roberts told me about Emma walking into the audition and when she spoke, “Meryl Streep’s voice came out!” Emma has a great voice that projects well.

Emma was in her element once she found Drama. She absolutely loved it and loved Mrs. Roberts. Like everything else, Emma began telling stories about the Drama group. I don’t even remember all the stories now, but one was that all the girls who worked on the crew were lesbians. I didn’t really buy it, and I wondered if Emma came up with this story from listening to Neal Boortz. (Phill and I were huge Neal Boortz fans, so our radio was always on whether at home or in the car, and Emma grew up listening to his program. In retrospect, I wonder if Emma lacked the maturity for this kind of program.) Several times on his program, we’d heard Neal talk about Lugs (Lesbians Until Graduation), girls who were experimenting with their sexuality or who just took on the roll of being a lesbian because they didn’t find anyone at their high school they wanted to date. According to Emma, ALL the girls on the drama crew were lesbians and I remember her talking about two off them being a couple. Whether or not this is true, who knows? It wasn’t something I cared about one way or the other.

An Early Accusation of Sexual Assault

One evening, when I picked Emma up after rehearsal, she was very upset. She claimed that she went backstage for something, and that the male lead, a young man named Johnny Boddie, a boy Emma described as very arrogant, had tried to kiss her. Emma told me she slapped him and ran away, and then she begged me not to tell Phill about the attempted kiss. At first I questioned Emma about the story. What was she doing when she went back stage? What was Johnny doing? What did they talk about? Why did she think he was trying to kiss her? Was he just reaching for something that happened to be in her proximity? Later on I wondered if this Emma’s first attempt at claiming sexual assault? This would have been about a year and half before Emma alleged to have been sexually assaulted by the priest. Was this a practice run or her dress rehearsal for the next big show? Later, when I go through Emma’s e-mails, you will see how she describes the story in a much more sinister fashion to her pen-pal, “Lacey.”

Emma was adamant that Johnny had tried to kiss her, although she never really gave me in details of how the event occurred. If that were the case, I told Emma that I thought she handled it just fine, but of course, I didn’t keep too many secrets from Phill, so I told him the story. A couple of weeks later, we were leaving church, and I don’t remember what we were talking about, but Phill brought up the story of Emma slapping Johnny Boddie, and Emma was FURIOUS with me for telling her dad. When I contacted Johnny Boddie and asked him if I could ask him a few questions about his time with Emma at JCCHS, he stated that his communications with Emma were minimal and that they had worked on one play together. He stated he had no recollection whatsoever of any conversations over topics other than the play or school work, so I never really got to ask him if he had attempted to kiss Emma. He ended his e-mail with a comment about how I should respect my daughter’s privacy or some such thing. One of Emma’s former friends told me that while Johnny was pompous, he was not aggressive. I have to admit, from his e-mail, he sounded pretty much just as Emma and her friends described him. I’m sure if he’d been disciplined for attempting to sexually assault another student, he might have felt a little differently about Emma’ right to privacy.

Emma told other interesting stories about Johnny Boddie, who was a junior when Emma was a freshman. Emma claimed that Johnny was engaged, which I thought sounded a little bizarre for a 16 year old in this day and time, and I did question her about it, but there again, I wasn’t going to go up to this 11th grade kid and ask him about the engagement. Then, that fall, not too long into the school year, Emma said that Johnny’s fiancé had moved away, and although he was a notorious flirt and cheated on his fiancé, he was still engaged. Again, I was not interested enough to investigate this story.

When the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman was put on at JCCHS, there was a scene where Johnny was shirtless, and it looked like he was pigeon chested. I don’t know if Emma had never heard of or seen this type of deformity before, but after the play, she brought it up and told me that the reason Johnny’s chest sank it was because he had been run over by a car when he was a child. Ummm, ok. I didn’t quite believe it, but I didn’t exactly give the kid a medical examination to check, so I let that one go.

Lies about Losing the Drama Competition

Jackson County Comprehensive High School's Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma's freshman year.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School’s Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma’s freshman year.

The drama department performed Metamorphosis for a district competition, and if they had won, they would have gone on to state. First, the play was put on at the high school during school, and then two nights for the parents. Sadly, the attendance was pretty poor, but Mrs. Roberts and the drama department did a wonderful job. Phill was working on the nights the play was put on, so he went to the dress rehearsals and video recorded the play for Mrs. Roberts and made copies. (Maybe one day he will give me a copy.) By recording the production for Mrs. Roberts, Phill was able to see the play, and I went to both shows.

Mrs. Roberts had a photographer taking photos of the cast, and the parents could buy a disc of the photos, so of course I did. I remember asking the photographer about the photos and she asked who my child was. At that time, Emma was going by Emma Kate Roey, instead of her usual Emma, so I told the photographer, and she said, “Oh! She’s the lead!” I remember being surprised because I really didn’t know anything about the play and while it sounded like Emma had a big part in it, I certainly didn’t know she was the lead. She did a wonderful job though, and I was very proud of her.

I don’t remember where the competition was, but I had to have Emma at the school early one Saturday to board the bus with the other drama kids to go to their competition. I was nervous and excited for her, and knew Emma would have a great time.

That evening, when I picked Emma up, she was not happy. Her group had not done well. Emma told me that another school had tampered with their sound equipment and ended up messing up the whole show. I really didn’t quite understand what she was saying, but according to Emma, another school had messed up their performance and they didn’t get a chance to do it over, etc., etc. I know these things have rules, and I wasn’t there, but the long and short of it was that they lost the competition. It really wasn’t until a few months ago that I contacted Bonnie Roberts to ask her about this story. Surprise, surprise! There was no tampering or vandalism as Emma claimed. Mrs. Roberts told me that her disc was not formatted properly for the equipment that they had to use at the competition. It was pretty simple really, but I guess Emma needed someone to blame for losing, so she made up another story.

Emma Complains of Racial Favoritism at JCCHS

Phill used to joke that Emma was a little racist. Emma could be very judgmental about other cultures. Emma frequently complained about reverse discrimination at her school. She thought the school showed favoritism to the black students and that the black students got away with stuff that the white students would not get away with. It’s been a few years, and her complaints were so petty, that I don’t even remember what they were. I’m not sure where this attitude came from unless it was just from our quiet life and Emma growing up in Jackson County, Ga. Phill grew up in Brick Town New Jersey, around different cultures, and I grew up overseas as well as in the U.S., moving every 2-3 years, so we both had been around a lot of different kinds of people.

One day, Emma complained about another 9th grader, a black young man, who was in Emma’s drama class. Emma told me that this young man accused her of being a racist. I have no idea what led up to the accusation, but Emma complained about this boy several times over the course of the semester. She made it very clear she did not like him at all. I remember her telling me this particular story of him saying to her, “You don’t like black people.”
She told me that she replied, “I don’t like SOME black people. I don’t like SOME white people.”
She also told me that she said, “I prefer to judge people on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin.” And then she exclaimed, “Mom! He didn’t even get that I was quoting Martin Luther King!”

Truth or Fiction? I’ll let my readers guess for themselves if this story even occurred or was it another one of Emma’s dramatizations.

ROTC

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Before school started, Emma had to pick her electives. In addition to Drama, she had to pick another elective. I was very surprised when she chose ROTC. My daughter? Emma was not the military type. When she explained her choice to me, she told me that the period she had open for an elective her only choices were Drama or ROTC, and she said, “And Mom, I suck at dance!” Emma didn’t have a lot of experience with dance, but I thought she could have taken it and learned something, but Emma was the type, if she wasn’t good at something, she didn’t want to do it. It didn’t matter to me, and ROTC sounded pretty neat, so I hoped she would like it, but she didn’t.

ROTC brought pretty much the same complaints as Emma had about the rest of school. Sex, drugs, drinking… Emma claimed her platoon leader was mean. (This was the young man that she said accused her and her friends of having drugs on the bus, causing them to be drug searched.) Emma claimed that one of the ROTC girls in her class had a baby, and I found out later from another girl who was in ROTC with Emma that no one had a baby in ROTC that year. This classmate also told me that if you had a baby, you were out of ROTC and couldn’t rejoin.

While in ROTC, Emma told a great story (mentioned earlier) about a girl named Kristin who lived next door to us with her mother and stepfather, and how Kristin would get so nervous when she had to do presentation that she ran to the bathroom to throw up. The ROTC instructor sent Emma to check on Kristin, and Emma told me how funny it was and reenacted the tale of Kristin with her head over the toilet, laughing and saying that she didn’t know why she got so nervous and then would throw up again. Great story, but one of Emma’s ROTC classmates told me that it was just that, a story. This young lady told me that Kristin was a good speaker and later became a platoon leader.

Emma’s second semester, she had to take P.E. and Health, so she didn’t get to take Drama that semester. She was very unhappy at school, and never made any friends in 9th grade. She never invited anyone over, and the only time she was invited to someone’s home was along with some other girls to work on an English project. If you’ve read my earlier posts, that was the night she also went with this classmate to the church youth group at Walnut Fork Baptist Church, Hoschton. I won’t repeat the story again here, but Emma lied about her classmate, her classmate’s family, what went on at the youth group, etc.

One of Emma’s classmates told me, “Honestly I think Emma just really wanted attention and she wasn’t getting it from anybody but you. Any attention is better than no attention for her whether it be good or bad. She got absolutely no attention at all at school. People didn’t really get along with her there.”

Emma told me she couldn’t try out for the play that 2nd semester because it was only for the kids in the drama class, so she was disappointed about that since it was the only class she liked. Emma became more and more miserable and started throwing up more and more. She missed so much school that we had to pull her out and she finished 9th grade on line. It in her on-line English class where Emma was paired up with a young lady whom I will call “Lacey” who was another 9th grader from a different part of the state.

As I understood it, Emma had an English project where each child was assigned a pen-pal, and “Lacey” was Emma’s. They were supposed to write letters, but other than that I don’t remember how it worked. They may have had to copy their letters and turn them in to the English instructor. Emma got really into the letters and complained that “Lacey” did not write as often as she was supposed to.

Emma seemed to really enjoy the pen-pal relationship, and when the class was over, the two girls continued to e-mail and text each other. Emma began making up stories about “Lacey” and her family. Some of these stories were as follows:

Emma claimed “Lacey” had been molested as a child and volunteered with her church helping other kids who’d been molested. (Lie)

Emma claimed that “Lacey’s” mother had breast cancer (true) and was hospitalized and nearly died two or three times. (“Lacey’s” mother did have breast cancer, but was treated as an outpatient and never required hospitalization.)

The reason “Lacey” had to go to public school in 10th grade was because her mother was too sick from cancer to homeschool her anymore. (Lie. See above.)

When “Lacey” was in 10th grade, Emma claimed “Lacey’s” periods were so bad that she frequently had to leave school. (I never verified this one, but would be willing to bet it’s not true.)

And then, a few months after starting the pen-pal relationship, on Dec. 19, 2009, Emma’s birthday, Emma went to her church youth group, and when Phill and I picked her up, she claimed that she had received a call from “Lacey” who was at the ER near her NW Georgia home, after she’d been raped in her home during a Christmas get-together. For Emma’s 16th birthday, we’d planned on going out to eat, but because Phill was sick, he asked her if we could postpone. Emma was all involved in her youth group, but didn’t really have any friends to invite to a party, so it was a pretty low key birthday, and later Emma would complain to Suzie McGarvey, (North Georgia Counseling Associates, Formerly of Lanier Counseling) that her birthday wasn’t special enough. This was also the birthday where I’d taken Emma shopping several times and spent well over $400 (I want to say $460, but I can’t remember the exact total at the moment.) on her, a good bit more than we usually spent for a birthday or Christmas.

I keep thinking back to the comment made by one of Emma’s classmates, how she didn’t get any attention at school. Was the rape story because Emma did not get enough attention on her 16h birthday?

In any event, I will share with you some of the e-mails that Emma wrote to “Lacey.”