Tag Archives: Kayla Benified Weaver

Emma’s Stressors and Mental Illness

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Because Emma loved her guinea pig (whom we had for almost 6 years--a pretty long life for a guinea pig), one Christmas I paid a friend to make Emma a guinea pig bean bag chair. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Because Emma loved her guinea pig (whom we had for almost 6 years–a pretty long life for a guinea pig), one Christmas I paid a friend to make Emma a guinea pig bean bag chair. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Aug. 30, 2015

I have to admit that I had a little fun with that last post. I got a little silly with the Face In Hole site. It was kind of amusing, and as I said earlier, I could picture Emma and I having fun with it were things different. I remember us playing with photoshop one time, and Emma making crazy, alien-looking pictures with head shot of one of our neighbors. In all seriousness, I will get back to Emma’s story.

When I was going through the sheer hell of my daughter accusing me of abusing her (but before Emma accused me of poisoning her), the wife of a friend said something about how Emma was the perfect age for mental illness to show up. This lady is a health care professional, and I didn’t understand what she meant. She explained it to me, and I did some reading about it. Some studies say that one in five adolescents has a diagnosable mental health disorder. Wow. I didn’t know the numbers were that high! Often, what brings about the diagnosis is the stress of graduating high school, leaving home, and starting college. Leaving all that is familiar, an old school, old friends, etc. and going to a new place, whether it be college, a job, the military… All the changes and stressors can exacerbate the already present mental illness.
I know the terms psychopath and sociopath have really been replaced with the diagnosis “Antisocial Personality Disorder,” but people my age still tend to think more in the terms of psycho/sociopath. While Emma was growing up, it always bothered Phill and me that Emma didn’t seem to understand cause and effect, and she didn’t care about consequences. We often talked about how when we were kids if our parents offered a treat like having a friend spend the night, or going out to do something fun, we were Johnny on the Spot at getting our chores done so that we could get the reward. That was something we never saw in Emma. If she didn’t want to clean her room, telling her we’d take her bowling when she was done would make no difference. Nothing motivated Emma except for Emma. She did what she wanted and consequences be damned. If she got in trouble or caught red handed, she never showed remorse or guilt, just anger. Phill and I didn’t understand how to motivate her. Punishments for bad behavior didn’t work. If Emma got in trouble it was because we hated her or we were mean, but not because she’d broken a rule or misbehaved. Rewards for a job well done didn’t work. Now, I’m able to see there was a problem, but neither Phill nor I had enough experience with parenting or mental illness to realize that at the time that there was something wrong.
I can only imagine the stress that brought on Emma’s psychotic break, if that’s the right word for it. After claiming her on line friend, “Lacey” was raped and had attempted suicide, Emma made up a story about a priest sexually molesting her. She claimed this man stuck his fingers into her vagina multiple times. (Sorry for the graphic content there, but I think I need to say it bluntly to emphasize the seriousness of Emma’s allegations.) Emma was interviewed over and over again and therefore rehearsed her scene multiple times with numerous officials and members of two churches, attorneys, various therapists, counselors, a psychologist , a psychiatrist, DFACS, the police and sheriff’s departments in two counties. (Jackson and Gwinnett Counties, Ga.) Emma had been through a brutal interrogation by an attorney who was investigating Emma’s story for the church. And lastly, Emma had a large Atlanta law firm about to file suit. There would be a trial. The attorneys would need to interview “Lacey” to verify that she had been raped and attempted suicide so that the story of Emma’s “repressed memories” was feasible. Emma was about to be FOUND OUT, BUSTED, CAUGHT, EXPOSED! The truth would be revealed! Emma’s lies were about to be brought to light!

Emma was about to get caught with her hand in the cookie jar, only Emma’s misdeed was much worse than the usual childhood transgressionsl. Emma had committed the crime of false allegations, false police reports, etc. She had to cover up what she’d done. I don’t know if Emma would have been prosecuted for her false allegations, but I would think she could have been if the priest wanted to press charges or to sue her. We’ve all faced stress in our lives, and at the age of 17, I think this was more than Emma could take. Phill and I didn’t know about all the lying Emma had done. It wasn’t until after Emma accused me of abuse that I started looking into many of her stories. We assumed we had a normal teenager who could be very difficult a lot of the time, like a lot of them are. I kept telling myself that if we just got her to college she would be ok. I thought she would love college and do well there, and I guess in some ways she has. She’s attended four different colleges that I know of so far, but she does make good grades. I don’t know how she likes it or if she has any friends besides people like Kayla Benifield Weaver and Abby Benito that she didn’t see often but kept in touch with through facebook, e-mail, and texts. It’s a lot easier to hide who you really are when you only see you “friends” for occasional, short visits.

Emma was keeping a terrible secret and didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. If she did talk about it, she would have had to admit what horrible things she’d done. I can only imagine how stressed out Emma was that she was going to be discovered. In her sick mind, this would have been catastrophic. The pressure she put on herself must have been overwhelming. She knew what was coming and she must have felt the clock ticking, worrying day in and day out that the attorneys would interview “Lacey” and find out the truth about the “rape” and “suicide attempt” and thus find the truth out about Emma.

In some ways I can sympathize with Emma. With the stress of being thrown out of my home, my husband refusing counseling, losing my marriage and my family. I went through my own stress, and I know how horrible I felt when I felt like I was losing everything that was important to me. The difference is, I talked to a therapist, went on an antidepressant for a little while, and had some wonderfully supportive family and friends who were there for me. I think I worked through my stress without trying to hurt or destroy someone else. Emma chose a much more sinister route.

Letters to “Lacey” – Preface (UPDATED 01/06/20115)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com
Thank you to my readers for your support and please continue to share the blog with others.

Letters to Lacey –Preface (How Emma ended up in on-line school, and connecting with the penpal she claimed was raped and attempted suicide.)

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

After five years of homeschooling, we decided to quit and put Emma in public school. I’m still a huge fan of homeschooling, but for Emma, it was probably a mistake. At first, I thought we did everything pretty well. In addition to school, Emma was involved in many, many activities. I wanted to make sure that Emma was well “socialized.” Over the years while homeschooling, Emma was involved in an arts program and took other homeschool group classes, she was on a kayaking team, in a homeschool chorus, church choir, church newsletter team, Sunday School, piano lessons, softball, a knitting group, a neighborhood bible study, a church book club, was a church acolyte, sang with the Gwinnett Young Singers under Lynn Urda and got to sing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, and we also went on homeschool field trips to places like the UGA Vet school, WSB TV/Radio in Atlanta, Coca Cola, the William Harris Homestead, the Capital, etc.

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends. To Emma's left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends. To Emma’s left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

Homeschooling started out great. Emma and I both enjoyed it. Seeing your child get excited about learning is an amazing experience. If Emma wanted to spend extra time on a subject, it was no problem. As a parent, I saw how so many things could turn into a learning opportunity. We would be out in public somewhere and see something that brought to mind something we learned in school. Or we would hear of something and want to know more about it, so Emma would do some research. For example, one birthday or Christmas, my sister sent Emma a prayer box necklace, and we were curious, so Emma looked up the history of prayer boxes and shared with me what she found. Thank goodness for Google!

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor's Mansion in Atlanta.

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor’s Mansion in Atlanta.

I probably should have stopped homeschooling in middle school, as after 2 or three years, it got more and more difficult. If I left the room, Emma kept books hidden in the school room, so she would pull out a book and read instead of doing her school work. We could have easily been done with school by 2pm every day, but Emma started dragging things out to 5pm, and sometimes later. I didn’t like doing school in the afternoon because I was always very tired in the afternoons and felt better in the mornings. I didn’t know at the time what was wrong, but I later found I had a medical condition causing the fatigue. School was Monday through Fridays, but sometimes Emma would drag her feet so much that we would have to do school on Saturdays. Part of the problem may have been that I had a child with a higher IQ than I have (I don’t know for sure about my IQ, but I’m guessing it is not as high as Emma’s!) and that Emma had no respect for Phill and I as authority figures. That may have been our mistake. We were a tight little family and we did everything together. Phill and I probably shouldn’t have included Emma in on so much, but we often treated her more as an equal in the family rather than the child. Because we both adored our daughter, her wishes often overrode our own, so yes, she was spoiled, but I reasoned that all kids seem to be spoiled nowadays.

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

In addition to reading when she should have been doing her school work, Emma did things like lying and cheating. If Emma needed to re-do some math problems, I would write the pages and the problem numbers on the board, and we would recheck them later. Emma started erasing the board, hoping I would forget about the work she needed to re-do.

I had to hide my teacher’s manual, so that Emma couldn’t cheat. One time, she hid one of my books, and I’m not sure as to the reasoning behind that. I guess she was trying to get out of math class that day.

I think I’ve mentioned Emma’s affinity for sweets, and how we would have to lock up things like chocolate chips, marshmallows, etc. or Emma would steal them. I would be all set to bake and not have what I needed because Emma had eaten them all. We also had to lock up the Halloween candy, and even with that, Emma discovered where the key was and I found dozens of candy wrappers in her room. One year, at the end of the school year, I was cleaning up our school room and found dozens of candy wrappers hidden out there between books, under things, and crammed in anywhere Emma could hide them that I might not look. She had a lot of arts and crafts that she used both for fun and for school, and these were things that I didn’t bother with much, so she knew where to hide things so I wouldn’t see them. It seemed funny to me that she was too lazy to bother to throw all the wrappers away. She could have easily hidden them in a piece of paper and thrown it in the garbage a few at a time, or even shoved them deep, down in the trash while I wasn’t looking or when I was outside or not home.

Emma’s attitude also soured, and after hearing a clip on the radio about a news anchor whose mic was on when she was talking about her sister-in-law, calling her a “control-freak” and “micromanaging,” those became Emma’s two favorite phrases to describe her mother. She called me these things over and over again. Emma decided it was time to challenge my authority as her teacher, and all of a sudden, I was the idiot who knew nothing, and she was the teen who knew it all. She seemed to think my whole goal in homeschooling was to make her life miserable.

Because I couldn’t trust Emma to get her work done, I ended up being her babysitter or maybe “warden” is a better word. I couldn’t leave the school room to do other things because Emma would stop doing her work. Homeschooling took a lot of time, for me as a parent, but then it became endless. It was sad to me because I knew so many kids at the arts program who were homeschooling and did not have the attitude that Emma had. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I enjoyed homeschooling with Emma the first few years. I think I learned as much as she did, but when she was supposed to becoming more mature and independent and able to do her assignments on her own, without me there at every step, Emma just didn’t do it. Maybe it was her way of rebelling, I don’t know. I just knew homeschooling wasn’t working anymore, and it was time to quit. I felt like a homeschool failure, but I knew I had seen many kids in the arts program quit to attend public school. Some parents worried they couldn’t deal with the difficult subjects like biology and algebra. Other parents, like me, couldn’t deal with the nasty teenage attitude.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School

High School seemed like a good time for a fresh start, and we enrolled Emma in Jackson County Comprehensive High School in Jefferson Ga. I remember, later on, a friend who knew Emma personally commenting to me that Emma seemed to have a fascination or obsession with sex. Emma was always commenting on the kids at school being sexually active. Sometime the summer before Emma started her freshman year at JCCHS, we’d seen an article in the local paper about the number of kids in Jackson county who were sexually active. It seems like I remember reading that 70% of the kids in high school had had sex. Once Emma saw that, it must have stuck with her and to her, everyone (except Emma, who would later buy herself a purity ring) she knew was having sex. Emma talked about the kids at school having sex a LOT. If it wasn’t sex, it was about someone being pregnant or thinking they might be pregnant.

Before school started, Emma, along with all the other freshmen, had to ride the bus to school and find their classes in an effort to make their first day easier. If you’ve read my earlier posts, Emma claimed that on the bus she sat next to a girl who was a freshman for the 2nd time and who had a 4 year old. This turned out not to be true. Emma also claimed that there were about 10 pregnant freshman girls, but later when I checked with our neighbor who was a P.E. teacher at the school, Coach Cora Andrews (Dr. Cora Andrews), she told me there were only two pregnancies that year at the school.

About the first month or two, Emma LOVED school. She loved riding the bus with three girls in our neighborhood who were all sophomores and one neighbor who lived in Quail Crossing, a subdivision close to our Deer Creek Subdivision, who was also a freshman. I remember Emma coming home after a week or so of school and defiantly telling me, “You could never make me homeschool again!”

After a couple of months, Emma’s tone changed and she wanted to go back to homeschooling. She hated school and had nothing nice to say about the girls on the bus that she started out calling her “friends.” All of a sudden, the stories changed and these 4 girls were all having sex, drinking, doing drugs, stealing alcohol from their parents, etc. Emma no longer called them friends, but referred to them as acquaintances. She made up stories about one the brother of one of the girls who lived on our street, claiming that he had been arrested for pot possession for the second time, but the parents didn’t know. She complained about how much time was wasted in class, and how much time was wasted riding the bus. One day, she gave me a blow by blow account of her day to tell me how little work she actually did. One day Emma got very angry with me for not pulling her out of Jackson County Comprehensive High School. I will never forget her screaming at me how it was my fault because I “gave up on her.”

Besides the “acquaintances” Emma rode the bus with, she had nothing nice to say about anyone on the bus. She claimed that kids smoked on the bus and the bus driver didn’t notice. She claimed that drugs were sold on the bus. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you’ll remember that Emma claimed she was drug searched when a neighbor boy turned in her name along with her “acquaintances” because he had a grudge against one of the girls. (This story turned out not to be true, and I confirmed it with one of the school administrators, Kendra Phillips, who told me that if Emma had been drug searched, Ms. Phillips would have been present for it. I also checked with some of the girls Emma rode the bus with, and they never saw anyone selling drugs on the bus.) After reading a Reader’s Digest article on teenagers having drug parties, where they took medication from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw everything into a bowl and then took handfuls of pills, Emma claimed that these parties went on at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, and she mentioned one of the girls, in particular, as a participant in these parties. (This is the same young lady Emma made up the story of having an abortion that fall, and then at the end of the year claimed she thought she was pregnant again.) Also, one day we saw a news clip about a boy in another part of the country who wanted to dress as a girl, do his hair, wear makeup, etc. Shortly after that, Emma claimed there were boys at school who dressed as girls, wore makeup and pantyhose, etc. I remember I just sort of blew this off thinking Emma didn’t have her facts straight. JCCHS had a fairly strict dress code, so I couldn’t imagine this going on, but Emma insisted. It wasn’t something I cared enough about to investigate, so I never did.

From what I could tell, Emma’s “acquaintances” still thought of her as a friend. They tried to invite Emma to do things with them, but Emma frequently refused. She didn’t want to associate with these girls. I didn’t think about it until later when a friend pointed out to me that Emma seemed to always think of herself as superior to everyone else. All the kids at school were drug users, having sex, having abortions, drinking, etc., but my daughter was the “good girl.” She complained that her “aquaintances” made fun of her for attending church, being involved in the youth group, being a goody two-shoes, being smart, etc. She also claimed they made fun of her for being smart, the way she talked, the way she dressed, said she had a big nose etc., etc., etc. If most of us look back to high school, we can remember some teasing, and maybe even some bullying, but these girls tried to befriend Emma, and I have to wonder if any or all of Emma’s accusations were true. I can imagine some teasing going on, but the girl Emma claimed to have had an abortion and then possibly a 2nd pregnancy (in addition to taking drugs and drinking), was nothing but kind to Emma when Emma started public school. She was very helpful in explaining what to expect, what she would need, telling her about classes, teachers, etc.

Emm's old lady shirt. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emm’s old lady shirt. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

One particular complaint I remember was about a shirt Emma wore. (See picture.) Phill had picked up this shirt at Sam’s or Costco, thinking Emma would like it. I don’t remember if we just gave it to her or saved it for her birthday, but in any event, it was very similar to what we saw lots of teen girls wearing, and it looked cute on her.

One day, Emma came home complaining that her “acquaintances” had made fun of her wearing this shirt. I asked how that could be as it looked pretty much like what all the other girls wore. Emma said that they told her that hers looked like an old lady shirt. Ok, dear readers. If you are familiar with this style, would someone please explain to me how Emma’s shirt looks any different from the dozens and dozens of this style that I have seen on teen girls?

I had tried to encourage Emma to get involved in school activities, and offered to take her to music lessons if she wanted to join the band. Since Emma played the piano, I knew she could easily learn another instrument and get into the band since I had learned a 2nd instrument in high school so that I could play in the jazz band. At least one, and maybe two of Emma’s “acquaintances” on the bus were in the band, and one of the girls had told me about the band trips. Remembering my own band trips, I thought this was something Emma would enjoy, but she claimed that the band trips were known for drinking, drugs, and kids having sex on the bus. She was definitely not interested.

The Drama Department at JCCHS

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts. Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts. Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma did get into Drama I, and she loved it. She hated the kids who were just in there because they had to take an elective and were not serious about Drama. Emma tried out for the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman and got the lead. I remember meeting her teacher, Bonnie Roberts, and Mrs. Roberts told me about Emma walking into the audition and when she spoke, “Meryl Streep’s voice came out!” Emma has a great voice that projects well.

Emma was in her element once she found Drama. She absolutely loved it and loved Mrs. Roberts. Like everything else, Emma began telling stories about the Drama group. I don’t even remember all the stories now, but one was that all the girls who worked on the crew were lesbians. I didn’t really buy it, and I wondered if Emma came up with this story from listening to Neal Boortz. (Phill and I were huge Neal Boortz fans, so our radio was always on whether at home or in the car, and Emma grew up listening to his program. In retrospect, I wonder if Emma lacked the maturity for this kind of program.) Several times on his program, we’d heard Neal talk about Lugs (Lesbians Until Graduation), girls who were experimenting with their sexuality or who just took on the roll of being a lesbian because they didn’t find anyone at their high school they wanted to date. According to Emma, ALL the girls on the drama crew were lesbians and I remember her talking about two off them being a couple. Whether or not this is true, who knows? It wasn’t something I cared about one way or the other.

An Early Accusation of Sexual Assault

One evening, when I picked Emma up after rehearsal, she was very upset. She claimed that she went backstage for something, and that the male lead, a young man named Johnny Boddie, a boy Emma described as very arrogant, had tried to kiss her. Emma told me she slapped him and ran away, and then she begged me not to tell Phill about the attempted kiss. At first I questioned Emma about the story. What was she doing when she went back stage? What was Johnny doing? What did they talk about? Why did she think he was trying to kiss her? Was he just reaching for something that happened to be in her proximity? Later on I wondered if this Emma’s first attempt at claiming sexual assault? This would have been about a year and half before Emma alleged to have been sexually assaulted by the priest. Was this a practice run or her dress rehearsal for the next big show? Later, when I go through Emma’s e-mails, you will see how she describes the story in a much more sinister fashion to her pen-pal, “Lacey.”

Emma was adamant that Johnny had tried to kiss her, although she never really gave me in details of how the event occurred. If that were the case, I told Emma that I thought she handled it just fine, but of course, I didn’t keep too many secrets from Phill, so I told him the story. A couple of weeks later, we were leaving church, and I don’t remember what we were talking about, but Phill brought up the story of Emma slapping Johnny Boddie, and Emma was FURIOUS with me for telling her dad. When I contacted Johnny Boddie and asked him if I could ask him a few questions about his time with Emma at JCCHS, he stated that his communications with Emma were minimal and that they had worked on one play together. He stated he had no recollection whatsoever of any conversations over topics other than the play or school work, so I never really got to ask him if he had attempted to kiss Emma. He ended his e-mail with a comment about how I should respect my daughter’s privacy or some such thing. One of Emma’s former friends told me that while Johnny was pompous, he was not aggressive. I have to admit, from his e-mail, he sounded pretty much just as Emma and her friends described him. I’m sure if he’d been disciplined for attempting to sexually assault another student, he might have felt a little differently about Emma’ right to privacy.

Emma told other interesting stories about Johnny Boddie, who was a junior when Emma was a freshman. Emma claimed that Johnny was engaged, which I thought sounded a little bizarre for a 16 year old in this day and time, and I did question her about it, but there again, I wasn’t going to go up to this 11th grade kid and ask him about the engagement. Then, that fall, not too long into the school year, Emma said that Johnny’s fiancé had moved away, and although he was a notorious flirt and cheated on his fiancé, he was still engaged. Again, I was not interested enough to investigate this story.

When the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman was put on at JCCHS, there was a scene where Johnny was shirtless, and it looked like he was pigeon chested. I don’t know if Emma had never heard of or seen this type of deformity before, but after the play, she brought it up and told me that the reason Johnny’s chest sank it was because he had been run over by a car when he was a child. Ummm, ok. I didn’t quite believe it, but I didn’t exactly give the kid a medical examination to check, so I let that one go.

Lies about Losing the Drama Competition

Jackson County Comprehensive High School's Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma's freshman year.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School’s Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma’s freshman year.

The drama department performed Metamorphosis for a district competition, and if they had won, they would have gone on to state. First, the play was put on at the high school during school, and then two nights for the parents. Sadly, the attendance was pretty poor, but Mrs. Roberts and the drama department did a wonderful job. Phill was working on the nights the play was put on, so he went to the dress rehearsals and video recorded the play for Mrs. Roberts and made copies. (Maybe one day he will give me a copy.) By recording the production for Mrs. Roberts, Phill was able to see the play, and I went to both shows.

Mrs. Roberts had a photographer taking photos of the cast, and the parents could buy a disc of the photos, so of course I did. I remember asking the photographer about the photos and she asked who my child was. At that time, Emma was going by Emma Kate Roey, instead of her usual Emma, so I told the photographer, and she said, “Oh! She’s the lead!” I remember being surprised because I really didn’t know anything about the play and while it sounded like Emma had a big part in it, I certainly didn’t know she was the lead. She did a wonderful job though, and I was very proud of her.

I don’t remember where the competition was, but I had to have Emma at the school early one Saturday to board the bus with the other drama kids to go to their competition. I was nervous and excited for her, and knew Emma would have a great time.

That evening, when I picked Emma up, she was not happy. Her group had not done well. Emma told me that another school had tampered with their sound equipment and ended up messing up the whole show. I really didn’t quite understand what she was saying, but according to Emma, another school had messed up their performance and they didn’t get a chance to do it over, etc., etc. I know these things have rules, and I wasn’t there, but the long and short of it was that they lost the competition. It really wasn’t until a few months ago that I contacted Bonnie Roberts to ask her about this story. Surprise, surprise! There was no tampering or vandalism as Emma claimed. Mrs. Roberts told me that her disc was not formatted properly for the equipment that they had to use at the competition. It was pretty simple really, but I guess Emma needed someone to blame for losing, so she made up another story.

Emma Complains of Racial Favoritism at JCCHS

Phill used to joke that Emma was a little racist. Emma could be very judgmental about other cultures. Emma frequently complained about reverse discrimination at her school. She thought the school showed favoritism to the black students and that the black students got away with stuff that the white students would not get away with. It’s been a few years, and her complaints were so petty, that I don’t even remember what they were. I’m not sure where this attitude came from unless it was just from our quiet life and Emma growing up in Jackson County, Ga. Phill grew up in Brick Town New Jersey, around different cultures, and I grew up overseas as well as in the U.S., moving every 2-3 years, so we both had been around a lot of different kinds of people.

One day, Emma complained about another 9th grader, a black young man, who was in Emma’s drama class. Emma told me that this young man accused her of being a racist. I have no idea what led up to the accusation, but Emma complained about this boy several times over the course of the semester. She made it very clear she did not like him at all. I remember her telling me this particular story of him saying to her, “You don’t like black people.”
She told me that she replied, “I don’t like SOME black people. I don’t like SOME white people.”
She also told me that she said, “I prefer to judge people on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin.” And then she exclaimed, “Mom! He didn’t even get that I was quoting Martin Luther King!”

Truth or Fiction? I’ll let my readers guess for themselves if this story even occurred or was it another one of Emma’s dramatizations.

ROTC

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Before school started, Emma had to pick her electives. In addition to Drama, she had to pick another elective. I was very surprised when she chose ROTC. My daughter? Emma was not the military type. When she explained her choice to me, she told me that the period she had open for an elective her only choices were Drama or ROTC, and she said, “And Mom, I suck at dance!” Emma didn’t have a lot of experience with dance, but I thought she could have taken it and learned something, but Emma was the type, if she wasn’t good at something, she didn’t want to do it. It didn’t matter to me, and ROTC sounded pretty neat, so I hoped she would like it, but she didn’t.

ROTC brought pretty much the same complaints as Emma had about the rest of school. Sex, drugs, drinking… Emma claimed her platoon leader was mean. (This was the young man that she said accused her and her friends of having drugs on the bus, causing them to be drug searched.) Emma claimed that one of the ROTC girls in her class had a baby, and I found out later from another girl who was in ROTC with Emma that no one had a baby in ROTC that year. This classmate also told me that if you had a baby, you were out of ROTC and couldn’t rejoin.

While in ROTC, Emma told a great story (mentioned earlier) about a girl named Kristin who lived next door to us with her mother and stepfather, and how Kristin would get so nervous when she had to do presentation that she ran to the bathroom to throw up. The ROTC instructor sent Emma to check on Kristin, and Emma told me how funny it was and reenacted the tale of Kristin with her head over the toilet, laughing and saying that she didn’t know why she got so nervous and then would throw up again. Great story, but one of Emma’s ROTC classmates told me that it was just that, a story. This young lady told me that Kristin was a good speaker and later became a platoon leader.

Emma’s second semester, she had to take P.E. and Health, so she didn’t get to take Drama that semester. She was very unhappy at school, and never made any friends in 9th grade. She never invited anyone over, and the only time she was invited to someone’s home was along with some other girls to work on an English project. If you’ve read my earlier posts, that was the night she also went with this classmate to the church youth group at Walnut Fork Baptist Church, Hoschton. I won’t repeat the story again here, but Emma lied about her classmate, her classmate’s family, what went on at the youth group, etc.

One of Emma’s classmates told me, “Honestly I think Emma just really wanted attention and she wasn’t getting it from anybody but you. Any attention is better than no attention for her whether it be good or bad. She got absolutely no attention at all at school. People didn’t really get along with her there.”

Emma told me she couldn’t try out for the play that 2nd semester because it was only for the kids in the drama class, so she was disappointed about that since it was the only class she liked. Emma became more and more miserable and started throwing up more and more. She missed so much school that we had to pull her out and she finished 9th grade on line. It in her on-line English class where Emma was paired up with a young lady whom I will call “Lacey” who was another 9th grader from a different part of the state.

As I understood it, Emma had an English project where each child was assigned a pen-pal, and “Lacey” was Emma’s. They were supposed to write letters, but other than that I don’t remember how it worked. They may have had to copy their letters and turn them in to the English instructor. Emma got really into the letters and complained that “Lacey” did not write as often as she was supposed to.

Emma seemed to really enjoy the pen-pal relationship, and when the class was over, the two girls continued to e-mail and text each other. Emma began making up stories about “Lacey” and her family. Some of these stories were as follows:

Emma claimed “Lacey” had been molested as a child and volunteered with her church helping other kids who’d been molested. (Lie)

Emma claimed that “Lacey’s” mother had breast cancer (true) and was hospitalized and nearly died two or three times. (“Lacey’s” mother did have breast cancer, but was treated as an outpatient and never required hospitalization.)

The reason “Lacey” had to go to public school in 10th grade was because her mother was too sick from cancer to homeschool her anymore. (Lie. See above.)

When “Lacey” was in 10th grade, Emma claimed “Lacey’s” periods were so bad that she frequently had to leave school. (I never verified this one, but would be willing to bet it’s not true.)

And then, a few months after starting the pen-pal relationship, on Dec. 19, 2009, Emma’s birthday, Emma went to her church youth group, and when Phill and I picked her up, she claimed that she had received a call from “Lacey” who was at the ER near her NW Georgia home, after she’d been raped in her home during a Christmas get-together. For Emma’s 16th birthday, we’d planned on going out to eat, but because Phill was sick, he asked her if we could postpone. Emma was all involved in her youth group, but didn’t really have any friends to invite to a party, so it was a pretty low key birthday, and later Emma would complain to Suzie McGarvey, (North Georgia Counseling Associates, Formerly of Lanier Counseling) that her birthday wasn’t special enough. This was also the birthday where I’d taken Emma shopping several times and spent well over $400 (I want to say $460, but I can’t remember the exact total at the moment.) on her, a good bit more than we usually spent for a birthday or Christmas.

I keep thinking back to the comment made by one of Emma’s classmates, how she didn’t get any attention at school. Was the rape story because Emma did not get enough attention on her 16h birthday?

In any event, I will share with you some of the e-mails that Emma wrote to “Lacey.”

Bud the Boyfriend Part 2, The Break-up (UPDATED 11/18/14)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

Another One of Emma's Pinterest posts while dating "Bud."

Another One of Emma’s Pinterest posts while dating “Bud.”

Bud the Boyfriend, Part 2, The Break-up

When I found out about Bud, I began writing about it on the blog. I found out who Bud’s mother was and contacted her with a brief e-mail stating my situation with Emma and gave her my name, address, phone number, and e-mail address and told her to please contact me if she had any questions.

Early on, I got a couple of e-mails through the blog from Bud’s mother, but I felt a little funny about posting them, so I didn’t. Bud’s mother threatened legal action, but I’d already talked to an attorney about what I could and couldn’t post on the blog, so I wasn’t worried about any type of legal action. I think now, Bud’s mom is probably glad that I didn’t post her e-mails, but in one of her earlier messages, she stated that Emma and Bud were NOT engaged, but that she would be thrilled to have Emma as a daughter-in-law one day, and she told me to quit lying on the blog to make my story sound better. We went back and forth a few times, and Bud’s mother kept denying that Emma and Bud were engaged until I told her that I DID believe her when she said Emma and Bud weren’t engaged, but I was just writing about what Emma was telling other people, and I had the documentation to back it up.

Bud’s mother and I exchanged a few more e-mails both through the blog and privately, and I told her I would be writing more about the lies Emma told about Bud’s family, and although I put Bud’s name as well as his parents’ names in the blog, I let Bud’s mother know that I would never mention Bud’s sister’s name in the blog. I really did not want to cause this young lady any pain. I figured the adults could handle it.

From the first e-mail I received from Bud’s mother, to the last, I could sense a change in her tone. At first, she seemed very hostile towards me, and then later, I think she started to see there was something not right about Emma and the stories she told.

To be honest, I really didn’t want to hurt Bud or his parents either, but when your child has accused you of the crimes of child abuse and attempted murder, you do what you have to. I gave Emma the opportunity to keep this between her dad and me, and I had really hoped that she would tell the truth, and we would move forward from there. I thought that maybe the thought of losing Bud might push Emma in the right direction, but Emma probably felt that if Bud found out what a horrible thing she’d to her mother, he would end the relationship anyway, so there wasn’t any reason for her to tell the truth.

Emma told Bud’s family pretty much what I have said in the blog. I find it interesting that she told them she was sick as a child and that it was due to being poisoned. (That darned DDT again!) Emma claimed to continue to have health problems and always seemed to be tired and didn’t have much energy. She also got over heated easily and fainted frequently. (More about Emma’s “fainting” in a later post. She pulled a very dramatic fainting scene at the home of Fr. George and Paulette Ivey.)

Another sweet wedding idea Emma had on her pinterest page.

Another sweet wedding idea Emma had on her pinterest page.

I also find it interesting that Emma was in such fragile health while living in Ohio. I guess this was another way to play the victim. Who wouldn’t feel sorry for a frail little figure who’d suffered years of DDT poisoning? As for getting “over heated,” Emma never had problems tolerating the heat. For a while, she was on some medication that made her skin break out into red blotches if she got too much sun, but she managed to go on a 10 day mission trip with Eternal Hope in Haiti during the summer. She also went on a youth group mission trip to Cherokee, N.C. during the summer and did numerous outdoor activities in hot weather. I believe Emma’s precarious health while living in Ohio was just another drama exercise for a young lady who wanted attention.

Emma described Bud’s mother as controlling and said Bud was “under her thumb.” She claimed Bud couldn’t do anything without getting permission from his mother first. I believe, when I heard Emma making these claims, Bud was 21 years old at the time, and I just could not imagine a young man who went away to school, still having every move controlled by his mother.

emmapinterestcrazy

Ironically, Emma posted this e-card on her Pinterest while she was dating Bud.

Bud’s family never met Phill, and all they knew was that he worked for UPS and was gone most of the time. They thought Emma seemed to have a lot of freedom, very little supervision, and they were surprised when Phill let her move to Ohio without having met Bud’s family or even talking to them on the phone. They had the feeling that he wasn’t very involved in Emma’s life. Maybe this is why Emma accused Bud’s mother of being controlling. Although Bud was in college, he still had rules when he came home, and Emma didn’t seem to have any rules she had to follow.

So………….Emma moved up to Ohio, in with her boyfriend’s grandparents, and lived happily ever after, or maybe not. Emma had everything she ever wanted. She was out from under her control freak, micromanaging mother, and she’d managed to get out of Georgia and up to Ohio where she could start a new life with a new audience who didn’t know about her habit. She lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, she lied about being sexually molested, she lied about being physically abused, she lied about kids in the neighborhood she claimed did drugs, got pregnant, had abortions, etc., she lied about neighbors, family, church members, school, teachers, etc. Too many people in Georgia were catching on to Emma, so Ohio was a fresh start, but what happened?  Emma got everything she wanted in moving to Ohio.  She was pseudo-independent, living on her own, pretending to be an adult, but financially supported by her Daddy.  She had this wonderful boyfriend who had a wonderful family who seemed quite ready to accept Emma into the fold.  Why did Emma need to lie about Bud’s family?  Why did she need to keep being a victim, claiming Bud’s sister hated her and making Bud’s mother out to be a control freak, just like Emma’s own mother?

On Sept. 4th, 2013, I received a rather hateful e-mail from Emma. It was short and to the point, telling me that Bud broke up with her. After the divorce of her parents, Emma sent me a “drop dead” e-mail, just as my attorney had said she would. The e-mail stated that I was not to contact her, phone her, text her etc., and my attorney had explained that if I did contact Emma after receiving a letter from her like this, she could take out a restraining order against me. I received it, and I did not contact Emma again until after she contacted me. Later, I contacted Emma about one of the police reports, giving her the opportunity to discuss it before I published it on the blog, and she sent me the same “drop dead” email:

“DO NOT contact me again, in any form, at any time. Forms of contact include (but are not limited to): phone calls, voicemails, text messages, email messages, messages sent through a postal service, and physical/verbal in-person contact.”

So, I guess how that works is that Emma can contact me, but if I contact her after she contacts me, she sends me another “drop dead” e-mail to let me know that if I contact her again, she will take out a restraining order. I wonder if that really works? Is a judge going to take a restraining order seriously if you contact the person you are trying to get a restraining order against?

Ok, so back to the break up. What exactly happened? In the e-mail I received from Emma on that Sept. 4th, the subject line read: Congratulations, and in the e-mail Emma accused me of destroying her life “so completely” and that I won and I had proven that no matter how hard Emma tried to escape my damage and rebuild her life, I still found a way to hurt her and took away the most important, sweetest person in her life. She thought I would be thrilled to know that all the “crap” got to be too much for Bud and he’d dumped her. She asked if in my twisted mind we were somehow even or would I continue to destroy her life. She claimed she could never have a relationship because I would ruin it, what the hell did she have to do? What was my endgame? What did I want from her? She called my blog “inane” and said that stalking her boyfriend and his family til [sic] they dumped her did not score any points either.

Oh there was so much I could have said in reply to Emma’s e-mail, but what would be the point? I sent Emma a short e-mail telling her I would not do this by e-mail and she could call me if she wanted to discuss it.

That same night, I also received a much longer e-mail from Bud, telling me he had broken up with Emma. I won’t go into the details of his e-mail except to say that he stated that reading the blog and put a seed of doubt in his head about Emma, and he could not be in a relationship where he wasn’t in 100%.

I guess Emma wasn’t quite as convincing as she thought she was. She packed her bags and headed back to Georgia.  While I have no doubt that Bud is a wonderful young man, and I’m sure, under different circumstances, if he had ended up being my son-in-law someday, I would have thought Emma made a fine choice in a husband, but I thank God that Bud had the sense to realize something was not right and to end his relationship with Emma.  I can only imagine what harm she could have done to his family.  I do hope one day Emma can have a good relationship, and even get married, but I don’t think she is anywhere near ready for that step in life right now.  She needs to get her own life in order first, but as long as Emma keeps lying her way through life, that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

One more pinterest I thought Emma might like to save for her wedding ideas.

One more pinterest idea I thought Emma might like to save for her future weddings.

Coming up next: Emma’s New Dog!

Emma and Kayla Part 2 – With Friends Like This

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(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Liberty Township, Ohio at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, Merrie and Albert Knopp, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law, Sherry Buchheim lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.

Emma and Kayla, Part 2 – With Friends Like This (See Part 1, Below)

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Emma and Kayla in 2010

 

As I mentioned in the last post, as Emma got older, her stories about Kayla’s family got more interesting and more vicious.  Emma knew, not knowing Kayla’s family well, that I would not question Sheree about some of the personal and private things that Emma told me.  She also knew where to draw the line.  For example, if she’d told me Sheree and Jeff took the girls out and were drinking and driving, I would not have allowed Emma in their home, so she always made Jeff out to be a heavy drinker if they went out and claimed Sheree was the designated driver and only told stories about Sheree’s drinking at home.  If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you can see that Emma accuses a lot of folks of drinking too much.  I would also like to say that I never saw or heard anything inappropriate from Kayla’s parents or grandparents.  There was never any reason for me to feel like Emma would not be in safe hands at either of their homes.  These are Emma’s stories, and I find them in no way to be credible.  From what little I know of them, I thought Sheree and Jeff Barwise, and Roy and Velda Benifield to be fine people.

 

Kayla’s mom lived about 20 minutes from us, and Emma and Kayla got together usually a couple of times a year when Kayla was down visiting.  Later on, Sheree and Jeff bought some property close to us, but it was a while before they started building their home.  After visiting Kayla one weekend, Emma came home and told me various complaints that Kayla had about her parents.  I didn’t pay too much attention to them because all kids complain about their parents.  One story was about how when Kayla had Spring Break, her mother made her babysit the neighbor’s kids her whole week off even though Kayla did not want to do this.  At the time, I thought Emma was exaggerating and that maybe Kayla was babysitting to earn some spending money.  Who knows if she was babysitting at all. 

 

Emma claimed Kayla told her that Sheree and Jeff had made friends with their next door neighbors in their new subdivision, and they went over there every weekend to hang out on the property and drink with the neighbors.  Emma said Kayla hated having to go with them because they usually stayed until about 2:00 in the morning before heading home, and poor Kayla just had to sit there with a bunch of drunk adults because they would not allow her to stay home.  Another story I thought odd, but as long as Emma wasn’t involved, I wasn’t going to get into it.  I did sort of wonder that if Sheree and Jeff were friends with the neighbors, wouldn’t it have been more likely that they went over to the neighbor’s home rather than hang out on an empty piece of property?  (The lots in the neighborhood were very large and the homes in that section were quite a distance apart.)

 

Later on, after the home was complete, Emma claimed that Kayla always had to keep her bedroom door locked because Kayla’s room was in the basement, and that when the neighbors were over one night, and everyone was drinking, the drunk man from next door wandered into Kayla’s bedroom in the middle of the night, looking for the bathroom.

 

Another story was when Jeff and Sheree took the girls and the neighbors to a sport’s bar for dinner one Saturday night.  Emma said that they went to dinner at 6pm and stayed in the sports bar until midnight.  She claimed that all the adults were drinking except for Sheree since she was driving.  Emma said that she and Kayla sat at their own table, away from the adults, and it was fun at first because they ate and played video games, but then they were bored and had to just hang around while the adults talked and drank.  She enjoyed telling me that Jeff was a big liberal (Emma is very conservative, politically.) and that Sheree and the neighbors argued with him over politics.  I have no idea about Jeff’s politics, but because he worked for a well-known liberal news channel, I am wondering if that is why Emma chose to tell a story about his politics.

 

Emma liked to make fun of Sheree, saying that she had this beautiful kitchen but did not cook.  Emma claimed Sheree and Jeff ate out everyday, but one time Emma and Kayla went to the grocery with Sheree and Emma said she spent over $400 on groceries.    Emma told stories about Kayla and herself tracking down items for Sheree.  That same shopping trip, Emma claimed that Sheree pitched a big fit in the grocery until the store gave her the Senior Discount.  Emma went on and on about Sheree fighting with the manager, refusing to show her driver’s licence , claiming she didn’t have it, and Emma told me how embarrassed she and Kayla were at the big scene.  It occurred to me some time later that this had been a Saturday, and I thought Senior Day was usually Wednesdays.  Also, as I thought Sheree was under 40, I just couldn’t picture her trying to pass for a senior citizen.

For a few years, Sheree wasn’t working or in school, and not long after Sheree and Jeff were married, I believe this was sometime around early 2010, Emma came home after spending the night at their home, telling me how Sheree and Jeff were fighting over her latest purchase of a work-at-home scam. Emma told me that Kayla had told her that Sheree spent a large sum of money on this scam that of course was not legitimate, and that Sheree and Jeff were fighting because she had fallen for these scams before and always ended up throwing away money.  

 

Emma told a story about Kayla making some soup that was something like chicken broth with strips of tortillas in it, and that was what they passed off as cooking in that house. 

 

 

Kayla’s Grandparents

 

Kayla lived with her grandparents, Roy and Velda Benifield in Martin, Ga.  We met them the first time we met Kayla at church camp, and a few times, they picked Kayla up at our home.  They seemed like very nice, very sweet, country folks.  One time, they took the girls to Medieval Times in Lawrenceville, Ga.  According to Emma, they had good seats, but then paid extra to get the very best seats.  Emma said they also paid extra for every little thing that the girls wanted or wanted to do such as taking a tour of something that was like a little museum of weapons or a torture chamber.  At this point, I don’t really remember what it was.  Emma made it sound like Kayla’s grandparents spent a fortune on them after already spending quite a bit for the tickets.

 

Emma made fun of Kayla’s grandmother, saying that she kept embarrassing them by saying things like, “Go stand over there next to that cute boy, so I can get your picture!”  Emma did come home with a picture that was taken by Medieval Times of Kayla, herself, and one of the knights.

 

On another occasion, Kayla’s grandparents very generously offered to take Emma with them to Dollywood over Spring Break, but because she had missed to much school due to her vomiting issues, and we had to take Emma out of 9th grade and have her get caught up at home, Phill and I decided she could not spare the time to take off for 5 days.  It really hurt to say no, because I knew Emma would have a great time, but she was just too far behind in school.   Emma was furious with me for not allowing her to go and couldn’t understand that we weren’t punishing her, but she only had a limited amount of time to finish 9th grade, and we weren’t sure she was going to be able to do it.  Emma was never very good about listening to reason, and to her it was just that I didn’t want her to go or that I just didn’t want her to have any fun.    (I will  talk about Emma’s vomiting issues at a later date.  According to Emma, she threw up because her mother was poisoning her with DDT.  That is a chapter unto itself!)

 

When Kayla was looking at colleges, Emma claimed Kayla was interested in going to Ga. Tech, but said Kayla’s grandfather was a diehard Georgia Bulldog, and if she wanted to go to Tech, he would not pay for it.  I wondered if her grandparents would really rather send her all the way to Marist, in NY state, rather than have her go to a rival school.

 

I don’t remember when it was exactly, but sometime around 10th grade, Emma went up and spent about 5 days at Roy and Velda Benifield’s home in Martin, Ga.  I remember talking to Emma on the phone, and she spoke rather conspiratorially, whispering and making fun of Velda’s decorating because there were many Gone With the Wind items in the home.  Emma even sent me a few cell phone pictures which I still have.  Then Emma got mean and claimed that Roy was a Nazi sympathizer, a racist, or some sort of white supremacist.  She claimed that he had one room decorated with posters, signs, and memorabilia  which showed his prejudice towards blacks and Jews.  She also claimed that Roy and Velda used the N-word quite frequently in conversation.  I was pretty shocked,and I told Emma I did not believe what she was saying, but Emma kept insisting that it was all true. I never would have imagined these people as Emma described them, but what was I going to do, ask them if they were “racists”?   

 

Kayla’s Boyfriend (Now Husband)

 

I don’t remember what year, but I remember Kayla was in 11th grade, when Emma told me she had a boyfriend who was a 9th grader, like Emma, and his name was Blair Weaver.  I remember Kayla being at our home some time her senior year, before going off to college in NY, and speaking of Blair, and there is nothing that I remember particularly standing out.  It sounded like they were a couple of high school sweethearts, and Kayla seemed very happy.  I remember Kayla talking about how they were to be helping with Vacation Bible School, but I don’t remember if it was at her church or his.  Kayla loved children and talked about being a teacher.  When Kayla went off to college, I expected that would be the end of the high school romance, but I guess it wasn’t, as Kayla married Blair Weaver in Aug. of this year. 

 

When Kayla was still in high school, Emma began with the stories about Blair and his family, and to be honest, I don’t even remember most of them.  I didn’t even know these people.  The one story I do remember was about Blair’s sister, whom I will call Lori.  Emma told me that Lori had all these health problems such as brain damage, learning disabilities, and seizures and claimed that Blair and/or Kayla were frequently called out of class when Lori got sick or had a seizure, and one of them would have to attend to her until the parents got there to take Lori home.  Emma made it out that Kayla was having trouble getting her school work done because she was frequently attending to this sick young girl.  I thought the story odd, but let it go.

 

Another time, while Kayla was still in high school, Emma claimed that both Kayla’s family and Blair’s family expected them to marry and take care of Lori as she would never be able to live on her own.  Emma made it sound like Kayla was being forced into a marriage that she wanted no part of, and that she would be saddled with a sister-in-law to take care of for the rest of her life.  I remember arguing with her about how ridiculous this sounded as Lori was still in high school and Kayla was planning on going to college and moving away from Blair.  Kayla was a bright young woman, and I could not picture her entering this life of servitude that Emma described.  Kayla had plans for her future, and I could not imagine her marrying anyone at this age.  When I pointed these things out, Emma got quiet and did not discuss it any further.  Kayla went off to college after high school, and did not get married at that time.

 

Emma frequently called “Lacey” her best friend, but she was a cyber friend whom Emma had never met in person.  Emma told many lies about Lacey and her family:  Lacey being raped, Lacey’s mother on her deathbed in the hospital, Lacey’s family threatened by her “rapist”, etc.  Now I have presented some of the stories Emma told about her other close friend, Kayla.  Of course, Phill’s excuse for Emma was always that Emma didn’t lie, these other people told Emma these stories and Emma was just repeating them, so I would assume Phill believes Kayla told Emma all these stories about Kayla, her parents, grandparents, and husband.  The problem can’t be Emma.

 

Do I believe any of the above stories?  Not really.  As her mother, I look back on so many things Emma said over the years and doubt almost everything she ever said after finding out about lie after lie.  Now, I look at all these stories and wonder how we did not see that Emma had a problem, but one also has to consider that the above stories were told over a period of about 7 years since Emma only saw Kayla once or twice a year.  I think if Emma had told all these stories at once, I’d have definitely caught on to Emma’s lying.  I sure hope so.  I hate to think I’m that stupid, but as parents, we want to believe the best about our children, so we overlook a lot of things, thinking they are just a misunderstanding. 

 

I have a lot more of Emma’s stories to share.  Some are about friends, neighbors,church members, her church youth group, her high schools (Jackson County Comprehensive High School http://www.jackson.k12.ga.us/jcchs/) and Jefferson High School http://jhs.jeffcityschools.org/, Gwinnett Young Singers http://gwinnettyoungsingers.com/, SEFF (Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Americus, Ga., hosted by the Fayette Flyers of Georgia) http://www.seffweek.com/, http://www.fayetteflyers.com/, etc.  I think sharing the stories Emma told about others helps to paint a good picture of the young woman she has become. 

 

If you have any questions or comments, or your own Emma story, you can contact me at Losingemma@gmail.com  Anything you ask me to keep private, I will not share on the blog.