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Letters to Lacey Part 7 ————UPDATE COMPLETE 3/1/15

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Christmas 2008, one of Emma's gifts was a fairly extensive make-up set. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Christmas 2008, one of Emma’s gifts was a fairly extensive make-up set. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Letters to “Lacey” Part 7

May 3, 2009

This 6 page typewritten letter starts out with Emma apologizing for not writing for a week but she says she has a pretty good excuse.
Emma changes the subject and talks about listening to a song by Natalie Grant called Perfect People which, for those who may not be familiar with the song, starts like this:
This song is not for you, if you’ve never cried a river
Or had your heart broken in two
This song is not for you, if everyday you wake up
The skies are blue
But this is for anyone, no matter how you pray
The pain won’t let you get through
But you try and you try
Still they lie, they say that it’s over for you

Read more: The Walls Group – Perfect People Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Emma says this song is so true. She guesses that is basically human nature. It sort of ties into hiding emotions, which Emma understands because she does that too. She doesn’t want to hurt people or EVEN WORSE damage their perception of her. Emma says she tries to appear flawless before everyone because that is what she wants to be. She guesses subconsciously that she hopes if enough people think she is a wonderful person then maybe she will be that person. She asks “Lacey,” “Ya get what I’m saying?” and says from “Lacey’s” letter, she thinks she does.

Emma says she totally connects to another Natalie Grant song called Back to My Heart.

Strong on the outside
But coming apart at the seams
That’s me
Tragically always together
But bruised underneath
Well, that’s me
I stand just to stumble
Tripping on my pride
Why do I always try to hide?
Meanwhile, back at my heart
I’m desperate for all that You are
Undo me, take me apart

Read more: Natalie Grant – Back At My Heart Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Emma says she definitely has issues with surrendering and trusting Him completely with her life. It is not something she can fathom. She is one of those people who always has to appear in control, even when her life is really coming apart. She has to be the organizer, to plan everything, to know exactly what’s going on down to the last minute detail.
Next Emma starts answering random questions. Her birthday is Dec. 19, 1993. Her e-mail is dogbreath….., and she talks about wanting to read the book “Lacey” mentioned called Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. She says she’d heard of it and had seen ads for it in World magazine. She says she hasn’t read it, but she wants to.
Emma mentions “Lacey” telling her about her imaginary friend, Christine, and Emma says it is not lame that “Lacey” had an imaginary friend. Emma confesses that she never had an imaginary friend, but she did write letters to nobody in particular. It is much easier than actually confiding in someone. Emma says she is always the first person her friends trust with secrets and the last person to share her own. Also, as she mentioned before, Jordan is the only girlfriend Emma has that she sees a lot, and Jordan is just not someone Emma trusts with secrets. It is nothing personal, it is just that Emma knows Jordan does not think before she speaks. She eventually blurts things out one way or another. (In case “Lacey is wondering, Emma has learned this from experience.” Jordan doesn’t mean to to this, and she is very sorry afterwards, but that is not much help. Emma says she would rather not induce the inevitable. Like she said, Emma has to be in control, and sharing secrets is sharing control. Emma adds that she is an only child and doesn’t share well, and then says in parentheses “Half Joking. Half serious.”

Emma comments on something “Lacey” said in her last letter and says that “Lacey” and Emma are a lot of like because they won’t tell people when they are hurt because they want to handle it themselves, but they are quick to comfort friends who are hurting.
Emma says she guesses “Lacey” has figured out that she is disappointed with Obama. She hopes that the economy will hit rock bottom during his term because that would more likely get people to vote conservative in 2012. Emma says she would love to see Huckabee run.

Emma talks about reading in Reader’s Digest that Shyness is a disease, and BTW she loves Reader’s Digest. She talks about “Lacey” and her sisters………….

(If you have been reading the blog, you will remember that Emma used an article from Reader’s Digest just a few months before writing this letter to Lacey. While attending Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Emma claimed that the kids had drug parties where they took anything they could get from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw all the pills in a bowl, and then passed the bowl around, so each participant could grab a handful of pills and swallow them. I later realized Emma had gotten this idea from the Reader’s Digest.)

In the next paragraph, Emma says she knows what “Lacey” means about wanting to talk to the guys at her church. When Emma was at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she passes her neighbors, Josh and Neal Andrews on the narrow sidewalk that led to first block (class). She says they used to be really close friends from her birth to about first grade. Then they went to different schools and grew apart, but every day they’d be the only people on that far end of campus at 8:15, and never once in the five months we saw each other every day did they ever speak to each other. They both pretended the other party didn’t exist. Emma felt like it was their “home turf” and if they wanted to establish a friendship then fine, and if not, that’s fine too, but Emma didn’t want to invade anyone’s world by pushing herself in.
Anyway, Emma hoped He would help “Lacey” find the courage to talk to the guys at church and that “Lacey” already has something in common with these guys, their faith, and maybe He’ll use the connection to create relationships that will help others.
(If you ever saw JCCHS around 2008, it was a very crowded school. I can’t imagine Emma, Josh, and Neal being the ONLY ones anywhere on that campus. Any time before or after school, or between classes, there were kids everywhere.)

May 4, 2009
Emma talks about how “Lacey’s” dance recital sounds like fun, and Emma can’t dance, so she envies “Lacey.” The picture “Lacey” sent of “Lacey” and Nikki was great, and Lacey’s school picture was perfect. Emma wishes she had that good a picture; hers looks fake, but then she generally doesn’t like pictures of herself.
Emma mention’s “Lacey’s” voice recital and says she used to be in choir with Rob and Jordan until out church decided to cut it because there weren’t enough kids. Emma claims she ended up either getting the solos or singing the solos because the other soloists chickened out. Emma, on the other hand, just doesn’t care what people think, and church people are nice, ya know? Gnenerally, with the exception of the L family. Although they go bay a different name in “Lacey’s” town, Emma says she is sure they go to her church, too. The mom will talk your ear off about her kids, but doesn’t want to hear anything you have to say. The dad will sign up to be on the Grounds Crew, but he never actually shows up. The daughter is Emma and “Lacey’s” age and one of their least favorite people. She is very into fashion and has to comment (very rudely) on anything you wear that is not ‘in style.’ The younger son always gets into trouble and ends up blaming it on someone else. The mom will always defend him in this, even though he is claiming it’s Will’s fault and Will is one of the best behaved kids in church. Emma is sure by now that “Lacey” knows exactly who she is talking about….every church has a family like that.

(Emma knew the L’s daughter (whom I will refer to as LD) from about 2nd grade until we left the church when Emma was in 10th grade. The two girls NEVER got along, and Emma frequently complained about this young lady being mean to her, saying something she wore was “so last year” or telling her that she probably got her dress on clearance. When the two girls went to church camp one year, Emma complained that Mrs. L sent her daughter a box with things for all the girls in the cabin, but LD hoarded the items and wouldn’t share with the other girls.
I am a little curious as to know Emma would know that Mr. L never actually showed up as a member of the Grounds Crew. Mr. L was actually a member of the vestry and well as in charge of the Grounds, and people worked on the grounds at all hours, not when church was going on, so I don’t know how Emma would have any idea that this man never actually showed up.)

SEFF 2009

The next part of the letter Emma tells “Lacey” about being at SEFF the previous week. SEFF is the Southeast Electric Flight Festival held at Hodges Hobbies in Americus, Ga, the largest RC (remote control) airplane event in the word, and Emma just happens to be the Assistant Director, as well as the only girl on the staff of 50+ people, she says. She started going there three years ago, and her dad (who’d been on staff at SEFF) had asked Jeff Meyers, the director, to put her on staff too. Jeff somewhat reluctantly agreed. He was always pulling his hair out, so Emma was to be his helper and basically do what he told her. Emma says that in a event with thousands of people, the miscellaneous stuff is a job in itself. Believe her, she knows.

Emma says the first year she went to SEFF was known as Cinderella SEFF. Basically, even though she worked her tail off, she got lucky in a lot of areas. Two people gave her airplanes, just being nice. One was worth about $500, an Extra 360. Emma also won a lot of prizes in the raffle and won another plane in the prize drop.

Emma says her perception of people was really skewed the first year. She was still sort of afraid of the men referred to as the Hodge Hounds that worked for Hodges Hobbies story or help maintain the property. The degree of education, politeness/manners, and general redneck-ness varies greatly among the Hodge Hounds. Mel is a veteran, well educated and generally polite. “No-–hoes” Chris is very southern, thinks manners mean s washing our hands before digging in (he’s never heard of silverware), and thinks that it’s not good unless it has jalapeños on it (this concept is not limited to food, by the way). Emma goes on to say how she used to be scared by the Hodge Hounds, but came to realize how nice they were………….

Emma foes on to say another person she had a very skewed perception of was the director, Jeff Meyers. The first year, Emma thought he was great. He was nice to her and did a great job with the event. He did everything well, and was nice enough to not only pay all the volunteers’ expenses, but gave each of them $150 on top of that. Emma says she was blind to the other side of Jeff. It wasn’t until this year that she began to notice the little things. She goes on to say that Jeff is basically an alcoholic and by the end of the day he can barely form a coherent sentence. He is majorly addicted to chewing tobacco, and there are cans of it everywhere; in his file box, in the cooler, in the boxes of stuff they use for the event… She still thinks Jeff does a great job running the event, but she does not look up to him the way she used to.

Emma talks about how during the event, she does the miscellaneous stuff. She is in the background doing what needs to be done. She doesn’t want to be in the spotlight. But being one of the only teenage girls down there, she always ends up getting some attention that she’d be much happier without. Most of the guys on staff look at me like a daughter or granddaughter, and that’s fine. One of the guys, Mike Deboer (aka the Raffle Nazi, Curmudgeon, or Mean Mike) is even her honorary granddaddy. But some of the men, like thirties or forties actually try to flirt with Emma! Emma just thinks that’s creepy. She can half understand that with guys her age, but beyond that, it just makes her uncomfortable. But, she is staff and she has to deal with the spectators a lot, so she can’t afford to make enemies. It is really a bad situation. She tries to ignore them, but they don’t take the hint. That is when she needs her friend, Jordan. Jordan can handle that. Jordan likes attention and she can take it well. Emma can’t. She’d give anything to have Jordan down there with her.

Emma goes on to describe her duties at SEFF. She is in charge of dealing with and setting up vendors under a huge cover where they can sell their stuff. She is also in charge of scheduling the Noon Demos on Friday and Saturday, which is fun. All sorts of planes fly, and they have some of the best pilots in the world. She doesn’t mention everything because it is boring. She figures “Lacey” doesn’t want to hear about labeling tables and sweeping trailers and telling spectators, for the millionth time that they can NOT use channel 2 on the radio because it is reserved for staff communications. But she does work really hard, 8 hours pretty mjuch everyday even though she is scheduled for two to four. Emma says she got paid better this year. Instead of $150, she and Phill got $350 each. Emma goes on to say how her “rents” don’t pay her for anything, ever, so she is really careful about how she spends her money.
(Phill and I had tried giving Emma an allowance in exchange for a few chores every week, but it was such a battle to get Emma to do her chores, we gave up on this idea. We bought everything she needed or wanted, and gave her money if she was going somewhere, so she didn’t really need an allowance.)

Emma’s next paragraph says there were a couple of other girls on staff this year. Emma says she knows she told “Lacey” that she was the ONLY one, but what she meant was that she was the only one that counted. Jenny Klos and Emma Mason were also on staff. They were both seniors and the only job they had was driving the Courtesy Shuttle (aka golf cart). They didn’t even do that right, according to Emma. They loaded it up with teenagers and drove around until they ran out of gas. Also, they both dressed like the word that is a synonym for “tramp” and starts with a “S.” (Skank?) Emma says she is not going to actually say the word, but it is still true. Those jeans shorts that are about three inches long and very low tank tops or halters—that Emma considers to qualify as the “S” word.

Emma says she was sort of bent out of shape about the girls. She states that she would LOVE to be paid $50 a day to drive a golf cart, but noooooooooooo, she has to do REAL work. She doesn’t think Jenny or Emma have touched a broom in their lives. They certainly wouldn’t sit out in the burning hot sun for two hours to keep the demo pilots on schedule. But Emma did hear Jeff Meyers tell Dave Mason that Emma didn’t really earn $50 a day. He certainly never had that conversation with Phill, so she was happy about that! Emma says that Phill told her the only reason Jenny and Emma were on “staff” at all was because they had to make their dads happy; they can’t afford to lose them and once they saw Phill’s daughter on staff, they wanted their daughters on staff too. Except that they don’t deserve to be on staff and Emma does, in her humble opinion! But Emma thinks Jeff Meyers knew how she was feeling because he even said something to her about not really having a choice, so she understands, but she still resents it.

Emma’s next paragraph complains about a guy who was there making a video of the event, and he was going to put Emma in it, but he didn’t because she doesn’t dress the way Jenny Klos and Emma Mason do. And, you guessed it, they were in the video. Yet more time wasted, Emma adds and, “Oh well, it’s all par for the course….”
(Pretty interesting comments for a child who claims she doesn’t want to be in the spotlight.)

Emma’s next paragraph goes on to say she is happy because Jeff has agreed to put V. a 5th grader on staff the next year, who will be Emma’s assistant.

Emma changes topics and says how she can tell her youth group friends, Jordan and Evan anything because they don’t listen, and then she talks about not finding a postcard to send “Lacey” in Americus, and talks about “Lacey’s” neat handwriting, and how her own handwriting is too loopy and swirly, and she says that “Lacey” is very pretty in her pictures, and then she signs off “Blessings and Love, Emma Kate.”

Letters to “Lacey” Part 6

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma played soccer with the Jackson County Recreation Department in preschool. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

According to Emma, inbetween preschool and playing soccer at the Jackson County Recreation Department, her parents pressured her about college and we must have ruined her childhood! Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Part 6
The following day, Emma starts yet another letter to “Lacey”:

April 15, 2009

Emma starts off this letter telling “Lacey” about a dream she had about Jackson County Comprehensive High School. In her dream, she doesn’t want to go to Biology, so she goes with a friend to Gym instead. Emma says this is weird because she hates Gym, too. Everybody is playing basketball, but Coach Algard won’t let Emma play because he remembered that she will pass out if she does much of anything and in parentheses, she states that this is true-to-life. Then Emma goes on about riding the bus back to the main campus and she was glad she had run into her friend because no one had been nice to her that day and in parentheses writes “Just like my old school!” and she was so grateful that she was going to write a thank you note…….

(I feel the need to point out again that Emma was not the weak and frail little flower that she makes herself out to be, passing out at the drop of a hat. Here in the south, I guess we would say she got the vapors—-and for those of you that know me, I will pronounce it for you. There is no “R.”  Also, Emma was yet again the victim at school. No one was ever nice to her.)

April 20, 2009

Emma tells some cute stories about Sunday school, and complains about being “forced” into the Mother’s Day fashion show at church, and how she was always forced into it.
(One again the victim, Emma was asked to be in the fashion show, and the lady that asked her provided her with a top that came from her daughter’s shop. Emma also played the piano during the show. The next year, Emma volunteered to play the piano again. She loved all the attention she got playing music from Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera. There was another young man who played classical piano, and Phill and I were a little embarrassed when Emma monopolized the piano and this young man was standing there waiting to play.)

Emma talks about her friend Rob, and Rob’s little sister trying to get the two of them together and asks why does she seem to find cute little girls who idolize her and want to run her life at the same time? Is there any reason??? What did she do to deserve this??? Is God trying to show her that she really doesn’t need siblings???

Emma talks about her youth group meeting and how Jordan is mad at Rob, but they have no clue as to why, and how Jordan was in her own little world at the meeting with her itouch and didn’t even hear Rob calling her a loser. *SIGH* Emma says she has given up on understand her friends. It just doesn’t work.
Emma goes on to give an entertaining description of her Red Cross First Aid/CPR course that she has to take as part of her Health class. She claims to have had the weirdest instructor who kept telling them, “I can teach y’all this stuff, but ya’ll know half the time it ain’t gonna work.” She was also full of other encouraging sentiments like, “Them’s just pieces of plastic. Them’s dead…that one’s definitely dead…Dead on site!!” Emma claims the teacher yelled these things out randomly in the middle of CPR practice and also talked to the videos, “Look! Look! He done gone stuck a screw in ‘lectric box!! Everybody knows you don’t go sticking them things in ‘lectric boxes!! Course he’s gonna get shocked! He deserved it, too!…. He shoulda known she was havin’ a heart attack! Everybody knows that’s what happens fore they have a heart attack!!…Well what’s he thinkin’? He done gone and left his buddy in the middle of a river. Course he’s gonna fall in! Ain’t nobody there to help him neither.”
(My Goodness! I wish all my CPR classes had been this entertaining!)

Emma mentions getting a postcard from Arkansas that “Lacey” sent and talks about having to babysit and how she will have to watch the movie “Aquamarine” once again.

April 22, 2009

Emma talks about getting depressed again and seeing the little kids in the Sunday school class she assists with and says she can’t help but to think back to when she was that age and how they are seeing the world for the first time and they seem so content and happy. Emma says she honestly doesn’t have those memories. She remembers her parents talking to her about college when she hadn’t even started kindergarten. Everybody talks about how mature Emma was and how mature she is and she wonders if it is really as great as they make it out to be. She was listening to her friends talk, and whenever they talk about childhoods, Emma was always the responsible one. She feels like she had to grow up so fast, she never had time to be a kid. She was always thinking how she couldn’t wait to get into high school, to be a teenager, and now that she is here, she wonder’s what the big deal is. Then she looks at her future; her parents want her to finish high school in three years and get a head start on college. I apply for scholarships at least twice a week. She runs the youth group and her (adult) youth group leader admits Emma knows more about what’s going on that she (the leader) does. And through all this, Emma’s parents are behind her, pushing her to the limit and often well past it. Really, what are they so worried about? What’s the worst that could have happened….that she might have grown up to be normal?


April 23, 2009

Emma ends this letter with one sentence saying she is late getting it in the mail because she has been busy this week, and then adds “Write soon!.”

(Where is my violin? Teen angst and outright lies! I remember being a moody teenager myself, so I get that part, but her parents talking about college before Emma had started kindergarten? Let’s get real. A preschooler has no concept of what college actually is!
Emma may be referring to how when she was about 3-4 and would frequently stick a doll under her shirt and say, “Look, I’m having a baby!” and then perform the delivery and but the baby to her breast to nurse. Phill and I would ask Emma some questions and taught her how to reply. It went something like this:
Mom or Dad: And when are you going to have a baby, Emma?
Emma: After college. When I’m 30. And when I’m married.

Emma, sweetie, it was a joke. We weren’t putting pressure on you about college! Sorry if we scarred you for life!

Phill and I never had any intention of Emma finishing high school in 3 years.  We knew that some homeschoolers were able to start college their senior year of high school and count it as both high school and college, and that was sort of a way homeschoolers got around needing a high school diploma to start college.  We had thought Emma might like to to that when the time came, but we were not trying to rush her through high school.
After 10th grade, Phill and I considered letting Emma start college. Since she was interested in nursing, we looked into Gwinnett Technical College and let Emma go over and take a test to see if she could get in.  Emma was the one who was dying to start college.  10th grade had been a pretty lousy year of Emma sitting in front of a computer for school everyday.  We really did not want her to do school on line again. When she passed the entry test to Gwinnett Tech, we were definitely interested until the college told us Emma would have to take the GED to be allowed into college.     I did some research and talked to other people, and Phill and I were not comfortable with Emma getting into college via that route. We’d heard too many negative things about having a GED instead of a diploma, so we decided Gwinnett Tech was out. Of course, Emma blamed me for not letting her start college. Oh, that evil mother, again!
As for the youth group, Emma definitely had some control issues. She liked running things, and she liked being in control. If they planned an event and she didn’t hear back from some of the kids as to who was going, she would call to find out. Emma wasn’t forced into this position. She kind of took over.
I have to laugh at the last few sentences. We had gone to a meeting at JCCHS and one of the speakers talked about all the scholarships out there and how one young woman applied for so many and ended up getting something like 80 scholarships. At first, I looked around at scholarships and encouraged Emma to apply for a couple that I thought she might be eligible for, but I gave up on that after about a week. You could not force Emma to do anything she did not want to do, and it was not worth the bother. At one time, Emma wanted to go to medical school and to go to Yale, and I thought if she was serious, she’d better be looking for scholarships, but I wasn’t going to be a Sandi McCravy and do it for her. Much to her credit, Sandi, (Sandra Brooks McCravy) applied for every scholarship for Derek that she could get her hands on and it paid off. Some of them were very small, like a couple hundred dollars, but hey, there’s a textbook! I was not near as dedicated to scholarships as Sandi was.
And who knew? Phill and I pushed Emma to her limit and well past it? Really? I guess I must have blocked out that part. While we did require she do her school work, we didn’t push Emma into anything.
What was the worst that could happen? That Emma might have brown up to be normal? I’m not even going to comment on that one right now. I’m sort of wondering how mom gets all the credit/blame for everything wrong in her life, but no credit for everything right? Oh, that’s right. Somebody has to be the bad guy.

From about 2nd grade up until she started high school, Emma said she was going to be a pediatrician when she grew up.  She’d read a children’s book about Dr. Ben Carson, and that inspired her.  I was amazed that she held on to that idea for as long as she did.   Around 10th grade Emma was leaning towards nursing, but then with  all the wonderful therapy she had, she decided to major in counseling.  After what’s been going on in the news, I couldn’t help but wonder if Emma had ever thought about being a news anchor.  I hear there might be an opening for Brian Williams’ job!  Just a thought.)

Letters to “Lacey” Part 5, Medieval Times, Atlanta

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma and Kayla Benifield Weaver at Medieval Times, Atlanta 2009, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Roey

Emma and Kayla Benifield Weaver at Medieval Times, Atlanta 2009, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Roey

Part 5, Medieval Times, Atlanta

On April 9th, 2009, Emma started another 4 paged, typewritten letter to “Lacey.”
After Emma’s mother so cruelly would not let her go with Kayla (Kayla Benifield Weaver) and her grandparents to Dollywood because she was too far behind in her schoolwork, Roy and Velda Benifield, Kayla’s grandparents from Martin, Ga, offered to take Emma with them to Medieval Times, a dinner show and tournament in Lawrenceville, Ga. This letter is mostly about that night and is a lot of great story telling. I don’t know if it is all true or if some of it is somewhat exaggerated. Emma came home that night, and told me in great detail about the whole evening, but when I read through this letter a few years ago, it seemed a little different than what Emma had told me that night, so I’m guessing this letter is a little fluffed up to make good story telling. I’m not going to go into this letter as thoroughly as I have with some of them because it just doesn’t matter. I will share a few parts so you can get a feel for it.

Emma talks about how she and Kayla are polar opposites because Kayla wants to stay in the crowd and watch people make fools of themselves, but Emma wants to jump right up there with them. Emma talks about a knighting ceremony where you could go up and kneel before the king and be knighted, except no one wanted to do it when they asked for volunteers, and Kayla muttered, “No you don’t!” and well, of course Emma did. She walked up on stage, which Emma calls her 2nd home and knelt before King Phillipe and was now the Lady of the Castle, and Kayla was totally and completely mortified to have to claim Emma. Emma says, honestly, you’d think she’d become a delinquent instead of a Lady.

Emma talks about going into the dungeon and how Kayla could not read the framed sheets of information, so Emma read them out loud and then talks about how after she read them, people around them clapped for her. Emma says she’s fine with people appreciating her drama when she is on stage, but was a little embarrassed to have an audience and not even know it.

After walking out of the dungeon, Kayla’s grandmother was there, waiting to ambush them with the camera and then in her lovely Southern Drawl declared rather loudly, “Girls! There ya’ll are! Have Ya’ll found ya’llselves any handsome boys to get ya’lls picture taken with?” Emma states that she was mortified and Kayla was ready to crawl into a hole.

Emma writes more on April 13 and April 14 and then finishes the letter.

Just a quick note about Kayla. Kayla was also involved in the Drama department at her high school, so I just can’t imagine her being as reserved and “mortified” as Emma makes her out to be.

Part 6 coming up next!

Letters to “Lacey” Part 4

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others

Part 4

(Interestingly enough, Emma started another 4 page letter to “Lacey” the same day she finished the last letter.)

Another mother and I took the church youth group on a bowling trip. I guess you can tell Emma wasn't a great bowler, but it was fun anyway! Here she is hamming it up after her gutterball.

Another mother and I took the church youth group on a bowling trip. I guess you can tell Emma wasn’t a great bowler, but it was fun anyway! Here she is hamming it up after her gutterball.

March 30, 2009

This letter again starts out with the “Hey Lacey” salutation and goes on to talk about how Emma is taking a break from school to write “Lacey.” She mentions that we watched part of PBS’s presentation of Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens the night before. Then she complains about how we are having Cornbeef [sic] and Cabbage for dinner. (One of Phill’s favorite meals.) (What is kind of funny is that Emma says that she is not that picky, and I think Phill would even tell you that Emma was VERY picky. She liked meat and bread, and pretty much the only vegetables she liked were green beans, corn, and potatoes. Ok, two of those don’t really count as healthy vegetables, but to Emma. I have to wonder if Emma’s taste has changed in the past 3 ½ years since Ive seen her.)

(Emma must have taken a break.)

The very next paragraph, Emma complains that dinner was just as awful as predicted and that after her on line class that evening, “they” want to talk to her. (not sure why the “talk” was italicized) Emma says this could be really good or it could be really bad. It could mean that her parents had decided Emma was mature enough to get her permit (oh please Lord, pretty please….) or it could mean her parents are mad at her for some inexplicable reason. She “*really*” hopes she is not in touble. Emma states that we usually don’t have huge fights more than once a month so it is too early to have another one yet. Orr I could be something random like her medication is making her depressed and it’s time to see about changing it. Emma says that idea would not fall into either category, but it is not a bad idea. (Suffice to say this is more teenage angst. Occasionally we had loud arguments, but I don’t think we timed them out to be every month. Also, Emma makes a much bigger deal about her medication, depression, side effects, changing her medication, etc. Emma took her medication, the only problem she had with it was that it increased her sensitivity to sunlight, and she had to be careful in the summer because if she was out in the sun for too long, she would break out. That’s all. There was no depression, no changing of medications.)

Emma’s next paragraph starts with story from church where a father of one of the girls in the class Emma assisted with asked her if she was in college. Emma was “abashed to admit” she was a lowly high school in freshman. Emma says she knows he is mature beyond her years. She’s gone through more strife than most adults will in a lifetime, and it’s definitely shaped her, but college? She didn’t think she seemed that old! Emma says there are times she feels so young compared to her friends…Evan, Rob, and Jordan are sophomores and there are a few juniors and seniors in the group, but no other freshmen. Her only close friend out of church (besides Lacey) is Kayla –Kayla Benifield Weaver, a junior. Emma was proud that someone could think she was that mature. She says it might balance out my inferiority complex just a big. Yes, she says, she fluxes between being totally self-assured to feeling utterly inept.

March 31, 2009

Emma writes that *the talk* was just disappointing. Her mother won’t let her go to Dollywood with Kayla (Kayla Benifield Weaver) on spring break. And Kayla’s grandparents were going to pay for it, so Emma is ticked off! Emma would love to spend three days with Kayla. She doesn’t get to see her much because she lives in Martin. Her divorced mom lives close by, so she’s sees Kayla when she is at her mom’s maybe 5 times a year. Last time Emma saw her was when they went bowling on Kayla’s birthday in Februrary.

(Ok, let the evil mother speak here. Emma hated attending Jackson County Comprehensive High School and was throwing up so much that we had to pull her out of school Emma had to finish school on line, but she also had a lot of school work she had to finish for JCCHS, so it was almost like she was doing double school to make up for missing so much. It was not her evil mother who decided she could not go to Dollywood with Kayla and her grandparents, it was a decision made assignments done, and Phill and I were both proud of her for getting through that semester.
Another thing was that the trip was not 3 days. I spoke to Kayla’s grandfather over the phone, and the trip was to be for five days. Emma was so behind in school, she did not could not take 5 days off. As a mother, this was a very difficult decision, as I’m sure other mothers out there can understand. I racked my brain trying to figure out how Emma could go to Dollywood because I know she would have a great time, and she didn’t have many friends, so I really wanted her to go. Emma told “Lacey” that she got to see Kayla maybe 5 times a year, the truth was that Emma, at that point, saw Kayla once or twice a year. It came down to the fact that Emma had deadlines on her school work, and there was no way she could meet them if she took the five days off. We’d already been warned that Emma might have to repeat 9th grade, so we were just trying to make sure she got through the year. I think I was as disappointed as Emma was that she could not go to Dollywood with Kayla, but Phill and I agreed that it was not possible.)

Emma goes on to talk about her plans to go on a mission trip in June with one of our neighbors who runs an organization called Eternal hope of Haiti. Emma mentions being a little nervous about it. (Ironically enough, another woman in the neighborhood, a nurse practitioner, who frequently went on the mission trips to Haiti with Eternal Hope, was also the victim of Emma’s lies. If you’ve read through the blog, I’ve mentioned this story, but it seems appropriate to mention it here. The NP who was our neighbor, and one of her daughters, went with Emma on the trip to Haiti, and was especially kind and kept an eye on Emma. She also let Emma use her phone to send a message home. When this lady needed a dog sitter, Emma went over to her house after she got home from work to go over what she needed to do for the dog. Emma came home and told me how the woman was drunk, and imitated her, putting on a good show. I was kind of shocked, but Emma was pretty funny with her acting. I later told Phill about it. Too bad it was another one of Emma’s stories.)

Emma then says a couple of neighborhood girls stopped by the house. They had heard a rumor that Emma had brain cancer. Emma says she felt like saying, “Oh wow, I’ve been out of school for two months and NOW you decide to check on me. Ya, that means a whole lot.” See, Emma used to consider about 4 girls in the neighborhood to be her friends, but that was until she opened her eyes and realized that they didn’t act at all like friends. According to her friends, the hairbands Emma wore were childish, the jeans she wore weren’t in style, her shoes weren’t cool, her backpack made her look d funny, her shirt looked like something an old lady would wear, she was too innocent, Christian, and naive for her own good. (Their words, not Emma’s, according to Emma.) Unfortunately, by the time Emma realized she had chosen the wrong confidants; it was too late to change things. At Jackson County Comprehensive High School, your associations are set in stone the moment you arrive. Changing them is strictly forbidden. Emma could not leave the group because they were always around her. They claimed her and there was nothing she could do. While it was possible to leave them, it was not possible to find another group identity.
Emma says if she were in the same situation again she would have done things differently. She realizes now that it is better to have no friends than friends that bring you down. However, she can’t change the past, so she has to deal with the repercussions. She is just grateful that she has a strong faith and a few close friends, even though she doesn’t see them often.
Emma says she wishes she’s forgiven the girls, but she hasn’t. Some things, like the insults will be forgotten in time, however, other damage is irreparable. They took her trusting nature and turned it against her. The awful things she saw and heard took away her innocence. Because of them, she is suspicious of strangers. Because of them, she is not who she used to be, and she can’t change that no matter how hard she tries…………….

(Ok, the part about the brain tumor is true because I was there when the girls came by, but this is more teen angst, dramatization and exaggeration. I know some of this exaggerated angst is normal with the age Emma was at the time, and teenagers teasing each other is normal as well, but most of this part of the letter is laughable. Emma didn’t really try to make friends. The girls on the bus tried to include her and invite her to things, but often she would not go (because of Emma’s claims there would be drinking and drugs at whatever they were doing). Also, Emma was the one who would not allow any of these girls to be her friend on facebook. They sent her friend requests, but she ignored them. I think Emma didn’t want to associate with these girls, so she made them sound like horrible people so that I wouldn’t give her a hard time about not accepting an invitation to do something with them. After all, what kind of mother would I be if I encouraged my daughter to hang out with a bunch of promiscuous, foul-mouthed drug users? Well played, Emma because I fell for it.)

Emma writes about texting Kayla and how since her “rents” won’t let her go to Dollywood, she wanted to meet Kayla at Hartsfield International Airport and fly to New York, and that when she got a role on Broadway, she would pay Kayla’s college tuition. Emma also writes about how she wants to start a Bible Study with her youth group.
(As for the Bible Study, like the music program Emma was going to start, it’s more talk. Emma never actually talked to anyone about doing any of these things. I think she was just trying to impress upon “Lacey” what a good Christian she was.)

April 6, 2009

Emma tells “Lacey” some cute stories about church and a couple of funny stories about the mother of one of the boys in her youth group and how this woman is bipolar.
(I’m not going to bother writing about these stories because I suspect they were just that, stories, but they sounded good and gave her something to write about. I suspect the stories and Emma’s diagnosis were all lies as well. Although I didn’t know this woman real well, we were friendly, and I attended some small group things where she was a part of the group as well. I never asked her if she was bipolar, and at this point, I’m not going to bother. Since our group often discussed personal things going on in our families, and we talked about a young man in church who was bipolar, I feel that this woman would have mentioned it, or I would have found out from someone else in the group. I’m calling pretty much all this part of the letter BS.)
Emma asks “Lacey” if she has Facebook and tells her to look up “Emma Kate Roey” and says that it is her socialization. (Note: Emma no longer uses her real name on Facebook.)

April 7, 2009

Emma chit chats about getting a little snow, and how her friend Jordan loves the Twilight series and can relate anything in any conversation to Twilight. She talks about how she is going shopping for an Easter dress after lunch. (Actually, Emma wasn’t driving at the time, so it was her mom taking her shopping and paying for the Easter dress, but those are Eminor detail. I realize Emma wanted to sound grown up and independent.) Emma signs off and says this 4 page typed letter is fairly short because not a lot was going on this week.

Two days later, Emma will start another 4 page letter to “Lacey.”

More to come………………………….

Letters to “Lacey” – Preface (UPDATED 01/06/20115)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com
Thank you to my readers for your support and please continue to share the blog with others.

Letters to Lacey –Preface (How Emma ended up in on-line school, and connecting with the penpal she claimed was raped and attempted suicide.)

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

After five years of homeschooling, we decided to quit and put Emma in public school. I’m still a huge fan of homeschooling, but for Emma, it was probably a mistake. At first, I thought we did everything pretty well. In addition to school, Emma was involved in many, many activities. I wanted to make sure that Emma was well “socialized.” Over the years while homeschooling, Emma was involved in an arts program and took other homeschool group classes, she was on a kayaking team, in a homeschool chorus, church choir, church newsletter team, Sunday School, piano lessons, softball, a knitting group, a neighborhood bible study, a church book club, was a church acolyte, sang with the Gwinnett Young Singers under Lynn Urda and got to sing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, and we also went on homeschool field trips to places like the UGA Vet school, WSB TV/Radio in Atlanta, Coca Cola, the William Harris Homestead, the Capital, etc.

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends. To Emma's left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends. To Emma’s left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

Homeschooling started out great. Emma and I both enjoyed it. Seeing your child get excited about learning is an amazing experience. If Emma wanted to spend extra time on a subject, it was no problem. As a parent, I saw how so many things could turn into a learning opportunity. We would be out in public somewhere and see something that brought to mind something we learned in school. Or we would hear of something and want to know more about it, so Emma would do some research. For example, one birthday or Christmas, my sister sent Emma a prayer box necklace, and we were curious, so Emma looked up the history of prayer boxes and shared with me what she found. Thank goodness for Google!

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor's Mansion in Atlanta.

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor’s Mansion in Atlanta.

I probably should have stopped homeschooling in middle school, as after 2 or three years, it got more and more difficult. If I left the room, Emma kept books hidden in the school room, so she would pull out a book and read instead of doing her school work. We could have easily been done with school by 2pm every day, but Emma started dragging things out to 5pm, and sometimes later. I didn’t like doing school in the afternoon because I was always very tired in the afternoons and felt better in the mornings. I didn’t know at the time what was wrong, but I later found I had a medical condition causing the fatigue. School was Monday through Fridays, but sometimes Emma would drag her feet so much that we would have to do school on Saturdays. Part of the problem may have been that I had a child with a higher IQ than I have (I don’t know for sure about my IQ, but I’m guessing it is not as high as Emma’s!) and that Emma had no respect for Phill and I as authority figures. That may have been our mistake. We were a tight little family and we did everything together. Phill and I probably shouldn’t have included Emma in on so much, but we often treated her more as an equal in the family rather than the child. Because we both adored our daughter, her wishes often overrode our own, so yes, she was spoiled, but I reasoned that all kids seem to be spoiled nowadays.

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

In addition to reading when she should have been doing her school work, Emma did things like lying and cheating. If Emma needed to re-do some math problems, I would write the pages and the problem numbers on the board, and we would recheck them later. Emma started erasing the board, hoping I would forget about the work she needed to re-do.

I had to hide my teacher’s manual, so that Emma couldn’t cheat. One time, she hid one of my books, and I’m not sure as to the reasoning behind that. I guess she was trying to get out of math class that day.

I think I’ve mentioned Emma’s affinity for sweets, and how we would have to lock up things like chocolate chips, marshmallows, etc. or Emma would steal them. I would be all set to bake and not have what I needed because Emma had eaten them all. We also had to lock up the Halloween candy, and even with that, Emma discovered where the key was and I found dozens of candy wrappers in her room. One year, at the end of the school year, I was cleaning up our school room and found dozens of candy wrappers hidden out there between books, under things, and crammed in anywhere Emma could hide them that I might not look. She had a lot of arts and crafts that she used both for fun and for school, and these were things that I didn’t bother with much, so she knew where to hide things so I wouldn’t see them. It seemed funny to me that she was too lazy to bother to throw all the wrappers away. She could have easily hidden them in a piece of paper and thrown it in the garbage a few at a time, or even shoved them deep, down in the trash while I wasn’t looking or when I was outside or not home.

Emma’s attitude also soured, and after hearing a clip on the radio about a news anchor whose mic was on when she was talking about her sister-in-law, calling her a “control-freak” and “micromanaging,” those became Emma’s two favorite phrases to describe her mother. She called me these things over and over again. Emma decided it was time to challenge my authority as her teacher, and all of a sudden, I was the idiot who knew nothing, and she was the teen who knew it all. She seemed to think my whole goal in homeschooling was to make her life miserable.

Because I couldn’t trust Emma to get her work done, I ended up being her babysitter or maybe “warden” is a better word. I couldn’t leave the school room to do other things because Emma would stop doing her work. Homeschooling took a lot of time, for me as a parent, but then it became endless. It was sad to me because I knew so many kids at the arts program who were homeschooling and did not have the attitude that Emma had. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I enjoyed homeschooling with Emma the first few years. I think I learned as much as she did, but when she was supposed to becoming more mature and independent and able to do her assignments on her own, without me there at every step, Emma just didn’t do it. Maybe it was her way of rebelling, I don’t know. I just knew homeschooling wasn’t working anymore, and it was time to quit. I felt like a homeschool failure, but I knew I had seen many kids in the arts program quit to attend public school. Some parents worried they couldn’t deal with the difficult subjects like biology and algebra. Other parents, like me, couldn’t deal with the nasty teenage attitude.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School

High School seemed like a good time for a fresh start, and we enrolled Emma in Jackson County Comprehensive High School in Jefferson Ga. I remember, later on, a friend who knew Emma personally commenting to me that Emma seemed to have a fascination or obsession with sex. Emma was always commenting on the kids at school being sexually active. Sometime the summer before Emma started her freshman year at JCCHS, we’d seen an article in the local paper about the number of kids in Jackson county who were sexually active. It seems like I remember reading that 70% of the kids in high school had had sex. Once Emma saw that, it must have stuck with her and to her, everyone (except Emma, who would later buy herself a purity ring) she knew was having sex. Emma talked about the kids at school having sex a LOT. If it wasn’t sex, it was about someone being pregnant or thinking they might be pregnant.

Before school started, Emma, along with all the other freshmen, had to ride the bus to school and find their classes in an effort to make their first day easier. If you’ve read my earlier posts, Emma claimed that on the bus she sat next to a girl who was a freshman for the 2nd time and who had a 4 year old. This turned out not to be true. Emma also claimed that there were about 10 pregnant freshman girls, but later when I checked with our neighbor who was a P.E. teacher at the school, Coach Cora Andrews (Dr. Cora Andrews), she told me there were only two pregnancies that year at the school.

About the first month or two, Emma LOVED school. She loved riding the bus with three girls in our neighborhood who were all sophomores and one neighbor who lived in Quail Crossing, a subdivision close to our Deer Creek Subdivision, who was also a freshman. I remember Emma coming home after a week or so of school and defiantly telling me, “You could never make me homeschool again!”

After a couple of months, Emma’s tone changed and she wanted to go back to homeschooling. She hated school and had nothing nice to say about the girls on the bus that she started out calling her “friends.” All of a sudden, the stories changed and these 4 girls were all having sex, drinking, doing drugs, stealing alcohol from their parents, etc. Emma no longer called them friends, but referred to them as acquaintances. She made up stories about one the brother of one of the girls who lived on our street, claiming that he had been arrested for pot possession for the second time, but the parents didn’t know. She complained about how much time was wasted in class, and how much time was wasted riding the bus. One day, she gave me a blow by blow account of her day to tell me how little work she actually did. One day Emma got very angry with me for not pulling her out of Jackson County Comprehensive High School. I will never forget her screaming at me how it was my fault because I “gave up on her.”

Besides the “acquaintances” Emma rode the bus with, she had nothing nice to say about anyone on the bus. She claimed that kids smoked on the bus and the bus driver didn’t notice. She claimed that drugs were sold on the bus. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you’ll remember that Emma claimed she was drug searched when a neighbor boy turned in her name along with her “acquaintances” because he had a grudge against one of the girls. (This story turned out not to be true, and I confirmed it with one of the school administrators, Kendra Phillips, who told me that if Emma had been drug searched, Ms. Phillips would have been present for it. I also checked with some of the girls Emma rode the bus with, and they never saw anyone selling drugs on the bus.) After reading a Reader’s Digest article on teenagers having drug parties, where they took medication from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw everything into a bowl and then took handfuls of pills, Emma claimed that these parties went on at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, and she mentioned one of the girls, in particular, as a participant in these parties. (This is the same young lady Emma made up the story of having an abortion that fall, and then at the end of the year claimed she thought she was pregnant again.) Also, one day we saw a news clip about a boy in another part of the country who wanted to dress as a girl, do his hair, wear makeup, etc. Shortly after that, Emma claimed there were boys at school who dressed as girls, wore makeup and pantyhose, etc. I remember I just sort of blew this off thinking Emma didn’t have her facts straight. JCCHS had a fairly strict dress code, so I couldn’t imagine this going on, but Emma insisted. It wasn’t something I cared enough about to investigate, so I never did.

From what I could tell, Emma’s “acquaintances” still thought of her as a friend. They tried to invite Emma to do things with them, but Emma frequently refused. She didn’t want to associate with these girls. I didn’t think about it until later when a friend pointed out to me that Emma seemed to always think of herself as superior to everyone else. All the kids at school were drug users, having sex, having abortions, drinking, etc., but my daughter was the “good girl.” She complained that her “aquaintances” made fun of her for attending church, being involved in the youth group, being a goody two-shoes, being smart, etc. She also claimed they made fun of her for being smart, the way she talked, the way she dressed, said she had a big nose etc., etc., etc. If most of us look back to high school, we can remember some teasing, and maybe even some bullying, but these girls tried to befriend Emma, and I have to wonder if any or all of Emma’s accusations were true. I can imagine some teasing going on, but the girl Emma claimed to have had an abortion and then possibly a 2nd pregnancy (in addition to taking drugs and drinking), was nothing but kind to Emma when Emma started public school. She was very helpful in explaining what to expect, what she would need, telling her about classes, teachers, etc.

Emm's old lady shirt. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emm’s old lady shirt. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

One particular complaint I remember was about a shirt Emma wore. (See picture.) Phill had picked up this shirt at Sam’s or Costco, thinking Emma would like it. I don’t remember if we just gave it to her or saved it for her birthday, but in any event, it was very similar to what we saw lots of teen girls wearing, and it looked cute on her.

One day, Emma came home complaining that her “acquaintances” had made fun of her wearing this shirt. I asked how that could be as it looked pretty much like what all the other girls wore. Emma said that they told her that hers looked like an old lady shirt. Ok, dear readers. If you are familiar with this style, would someone please explain to me how Emma’s shirt looks any different from the dozens and dozens of this style that I have seen on teen girls?

I had tried to encourage Emma to get involved in school activities, and offered to take her to music lessons if she wanted to join the band. Since Emma played the piano, I knew she could easily learn another instrument and get into the band since I had learned a 2nd instrument in high school so that I could play in the jazz band. At least one, and maybe two of Emma’s “acquaintances” on the bus were in the band, and one of the girls had told me about the band trips. Remembering my own band trips, I thought this was something Emma would enjoy, but she claimed that the band trips were known for drinking, drugs, and kids having sex on the bus. She was definitely not interested.

The Drama Department at JCCHS

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts. Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts. Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma did get into Drama I, and she loved it. She hated the kids who were just in there because they had to take an elective and were not serious about Drama. Emma tried out for the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman and got the lead. I remember meeting her teacher, Bonnie Roberts, and Mrs. Roberts told me about Emma walking into the audition and when she spoke, “Meryl Streep’s voice came out!” Emma has a great voice that projects well.

Emma was in her element once she found Drama. She absolutely loved it and loved Mrs. Roberts. Like everything else, Emma began telling stories about the Drama group. I don’t even remember all the stories now, but one was that all the girls who worked on the crew were lesbians. I didn’t really buy it, and I wondered if Emma came up with this story from listening to Neal Boortz. (Phill and I were huge Neal Boortz fans, so our radio was always on whether at home or in the car, and Emma grew up listening to his program. In retrospect, I wonder if Emma lacked the maturity for this kind of program.) Several times on his program, we’d heard Neal talk about Lugs (Lesbians Until Graduation), girls who were experimenting with their sexuality or who just took on the roll of being a lesbian because they didn’t find anyone at their high school they wanted to date. According to Emma, ALL the girls on the drama crew were lesbians and I remember her talking about two off them being a couple. Whether or not this is true, who knows? It wasn’t something I cared about one way or the other.

An Early Accusation of Sexual Assault

One evening, when I picked Emma up after rehearsal, she was very upset. She claimed that she went backstage for something, and that the male lead, a young man named Johnny Boddie, a boy Emma described as very arrogant, had tried to kiss her. Emma told me she slapped him and ran away, and then she begged me not to tell Phill about the attempted kiss. At first I questioned Emma about the story. What was she doing when she went back stage? What was Johnny doing? What did they talk about? Why did she think he was trying to kiss her? Was he just reaching for something that happened to be in her proximity? Later on I wondered if this Emma’s first attempt at claiming sexual assault? This would have been about a year and half before Emma alleged to have been sexually assaulted by the priest. Was this a practice run or her dress rehearsal for the next big show? Later, when I go through Emma’s e-mails, you will see how she describes the story in a much more sinister fashion to her pen-pal, “Lacey.”

Emma was adamant that Johnny had tried to kiss her, although she never really gave me in details of how the event occurred. If that were the case, I told Emma that I thought she handled it just fine, but of course, I didn’t keep too many secrets from Phill, so I told him the story. A couple of weeks later, we were leaving church, and I don’t remember what we were talking about, but Phill brought up the story of Emma slapping Johnny Boddie, and Emma was FURIOUS with me for telling her dad. When I contacted Johnny Boddie and asked him if I could ask him a few questions about his time with Emma at JCCHS, he stated that his communications with Emma were minimal and that they had worked on one play together. He stated he had no recollection whatsoever of any conversations over topics other than the play or school work, so I never really got to ask him if he had attempted to kiss Emma. He ended his e-mail with a comment about how I should respect my daughter’s privacy or some such thing. One of Emma’s former friends told me that while Johnny was pompous, he was not aggressive. I have to admit, from his e-mail, he sounded pretty much just as Emma and her friends described him. I’m sure if he’d been disciplined for attempting to sexually assault another student, he might have felt a little differently about Emma’ right to privacy.

Emma told other interesting stories about Johnny Boddie, who was a junior when Emma was a freshman. Emma claimed that Johnny was engaged, which I thought sounded a little bizarre for a 16 year old in this day and time, and I did question her about it, but there again, I wasn’t going to go up to this 11th grade kid and ask him about the engagement. Then, that fall, not too long into the school year, Emma said that Johnny’s fiancé had moved away, and although he was a notorious flirt and cheated on his fiancé, he was still engaged. Again, I was not interested enough to investigate this story.

When the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman was put on at JCCHS, there was a scene where Johnny was shirtless, and it looked like he was pigeon chested. I don’t know if Emma had never heard of or seen this type of deformity before, but after the play, she brought it up and told me that the reason Johnny’s chest sank it was because he had been run over by a car when he was a child. Ummm, ok. I didn’t quite believe it, but I didn’t exactly give the kid a medical examination to check, so I let that one go.

Lies about Losing the Drama Competition

Jackson County Comprehensive High School's Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma's freshman year.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School’s Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma’s freshman year.

The drama department performed Metamorphosis for a district competition, and if they had won, they would have gone on to state. First, the play was put on at the high school during school, and then two nights for the parents. Sadly, the attendance was pretty poor, but Mrs. Roberts and the drama department did a wonderful job. Phill was working on the nights the play was put on, so he went to the dress rehearsals and video recorded the play for Mrs. Roberts and made copies. (Maybe one day he will give me a copy.) By recording the production for Mrs. Roberts, Phill was able to see the play, and I went to both shows.

Mrs. Roberts had a photographer taking photos of the cast, and the parents could buy a disc of the photos, so of course I did. I remember asking the photographer about the photos and she asked who my child was. At that time, Emma was going by Emma Kate Roey, instead of her usual Emma, so I told the photographer, and she said, “Oh! She’s the lead!” I remember being surprised because I really didn’t know anything about the play and while it sounded like Emma had a big part in it, I certainly didn’t know she was the lead. She did a wonderful job though, and I was very proud of her.

I don’t remember where the competition was, but I had to have Emma at the school early one Saturday to board the bus with the other drama kids to go to their competition. I was nervous and excited for her, and knew Emma would have a great time.

That evening, when I picked Emma up, she was not happy. Her group had not done well. Emma told me that another school had tampered with their sound equipment and ended up messing up the whole show. I really didn’t quite understand what she was saying, but according to Emma, another school had messed up their performance and they didn’t get a chance to do it over, etc., etc. I know these things have rules, and I wasn’t there, but the long and short of it was that they lost the competition. It really wasn’t until a few months ago that I contacted Bonnie Roberts to ask her about this story. Surprise, surprise! There was no tampering or vandalism as Emma claimed. Mrs. Roberts told me that her disc was not formatted properly for the equipment that they had to use at the competition. It was pretty simple really, but I guess Emma needed someone to blame for losing, so she made up another story.

Emma Complains of Racial Favoritism at JCCHS

Phill used to joke that Emma was a little racist. Emma could be very judgmental about other cultures. Emma frequently complained about reverse discrimination at her school. She thought the school showed favoritism to the black students and that the black students got away with stuff that the white students would not get away with. It’s been a few years, and her complaints were so petty, that I don’t even remember what they were. I’m not sure where this attitude came from unless it was just from our quiet life and Emma growing up in Jackson County, Ga. Phill grew up in Brick Town New Jersey, around different cultures, and I grew up overseas as well as in the U.S., moving every 2-3 years, so we both had been around a lot of different kinds of people.

One day, Emma complained about another 9th grader, a black young man, who was in Emma’s drama class. Emma told me that this young man accused her of being a racist. I have no idea what led up to the accusation, but Emma complained about this boy several times over the course of the semester. She made it very clear she did not like him at all. I remember her telling me this particular story of him saying to her, “You don’t like black people.”
She told me that she replied, “I don’t like SOME black people. I don’t like SOME white people.”
She also told me that she said, “I prefer to judge people on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin.” And then she exclaimed, “Mom! He didn’t even get that I was quoting Martin Luther King!”

Truth or Fiction? I’ll let my readers guess for themselves if this story even occurred or was it another one of Emma’s dramatizations.

ROTC

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Before school started, Emma had to pick her electives. In addition to Drama, she had to pick another elective. I was very surprised when she chose ROTC. My daughter? Emma was not the military type. When she explained her choice to me, she told me that the period she had open for an elective her only choices were Drama or ROTC, and she said, “And Mom, I suck at dance!” Emma didn’t have a lot of experience with dance, but I thought she could have taken it and learned something, but Emma was the type, if she wasn’t good at something, she didn’t want to do it. It didn’t matter to me, and ROTC sounded pretty neat, so I hoped she would like it, but she didn’t.

ROTC brought pretty much the same complaints as Emma had about the rest of school. Sex, drugs, drinking… Emma claimed her platoon leader was mean. (This was the young man that she said accused her and her friends of having drugs on the bus, causing them to be drug searched.) Emma claimed that one of the ROTC girls in her class had a baby, and I found out later from another girl who was in ROTC with Emma that no one had a baby in ROTC that year. This classmate also told me that if you had a baby, you were out of ROTC and couldn’t rejoin.

While in ROTC, Emma told a great story (mentioned earlier) about a girl named Kristin who lived next door to us with her mother and stepfather, and how Kristin would get so nervous when she had to do presentation that she ran to the bathroom to throw up. The ROTC instructor sent Emma to check on Kristin, and Emma told me how funny it was and reenacted the tale of Kristin with her head over the toilet, laughing and saying that she didn’t know why she got so nervous and then would throw up again. Great story, but one of Emma’s ROTC classmates told me that it was just that, a story. This young lady told me that Kristin was a good speaker and later became a platoon leader.

Emma’s second semester, she had to take P.E. and Health, so she didn’t get to take Drama that semester. She was very unhappy at school, and never made any friends in 9th grade. She never invited anyone over, and the only time she was invited to someone’s home was along with some other girls to work on an English project. If you’ve read my earlier posts, that was the night she also went with this classmate to the church youth group at Walnut Fork Baptist Church, Hoschton. I won’t repeat the story again here, but Emma lied about her classmate, her classmate’s family, what went on at the youth group, etc.

One of Emma’s classmates told me, “Honestly I think Emma just really wanted attention and she wasn’t getting it from anybody but you. Any attention is better than no attention for her whether it be good or bad. She got absolutely no attention at all at school. People didn’t really get along with her there.”

Emma told me she couldn’t try out for the play that 2nd semester because it was only for the kids in the drama class, so she was disappointed about that since it was the only class she liked. Emma became more and more miserable and started throwing up more and more. She missed so much school that we had to pull her out and she finished 9th grade on line. It in her on-line English class where Emma was paired up with a young lady whom I will call “Lacey” who was another 9th grader from a different part of the state.

As I understood it, Emma had an English project where each child was assigned a pen-pal, and “Lacey” was Emma’s. They were supposed to write letters, but other than that I don’t remember how it worked. They may have had to copy their letters and turn them in to the English instructor. Emma got really into the letters and complained that “Lacey” did not write as often as she was supposed to.

Emma seemed to really enjoy the pen-pal relationship, and when the class was over, the two girls continued to e-mail and text each other. Emma began making up stories about “Lacey” and her family. Some of these stories were as follows:

Emma claimed “Lacey” had been molested as a child and volunteered with her church helping other kids who’d been molested. (Lie)

Emma claimed that “Lacey’s” mother had breast cancer (true) and was hospitalized and nearly died two or three times. (“Lacey’s” mother did have breast cancer, but was treated as an outpatient and never required hospitalization.)

The reason “Lacey” had to go to public school in 10th grade was because her mother was too sick from cancer to homeschool her anymore. (Lie. See above.)

When “Lacey” was in 10th grade, Emma claimed “Lacey’s” periods were so bad that she frequently had to leave school. (I never verified this one, but would be willing to bet it’s not true.)

And then, a few months after starting the pen-pal relationship, on Dec. 19, 2009, Emma’s birthday, Emma went to her church youth group, and when Phill and I picked her up, she claimed that she had received a call from “Lacey” who was at the ER near her NW Georgia home, after she’d been raped in her home during a Christmas get-together. For Emma’s 16th birthday, we’d planned on going out to eat, but because Phill was sick, he asked her if we could postpone. Emma was all involved in her youth group, but didn’t really have any friends to invite to a party, so it was a pretty low key birthday, and later Emma would complain to Suzie McGarvey, (North Georgia Counseling Associates, Formerly of Lanier Counseling) that her birthday wasn’t special enough. This was also the birthday where I’d taken Emma shopping several times and spent well over $400 (I want to say $460, but I can’t remember the exact total at the moment.) on her, a good bit more than we usually spent for a birthday or Christmas.

I keep thinking back to the comment made by one of Emma’s classmates, how she didn’t get any attention at school. Was the rape story because Emma did not get enough attention on her 16h birthday?

In any event, I will share with you some of the e-mails that Emma wrote to “Lacey.”

Emma Turns 21 Years Old!

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claims to still have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Emma Katherine Roey Born: Dec. 19, 1993 6lbs. 12oz. 7:34 AM 19 1/2" long

Emma Katherine Roey
Born: Dec. 19, 1993
6lbs. 12oz.
7:34 AM
19 1/2″ long

Emma Turns 21!
(NOTE: It was important to me to write on Emma’s birthday, even though I had a terrible headache, so if you read this post on Dec. 19th, I have gone back an re-written, edited it, etc., with a little clearer head, but again, I was in a hurry this morning, Dec. 20th, so I may need to do some more.)
Twenty-one years ago today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Wow. Things certainly didn’t turn out anything like I expected! I wanted to spend the day writing about that wonderful day that Emma came into the world, but I’ve been busy with work and with the holidays, so I’m just going to share a few thoughts, and maybe one day later, I’ll write about Emma’s birth. In any event, I hope Emma has a wonderful 21st birthday. Maybe her dad got her an expensive piece of jewelry that she wanted, a new iphone, or the hair removal laser treatments she wanted if she didn’t get them when she graduated high school. Maybe she’s out with her other mom, Sandra Brooks McCravy, or if her friends Kayla Benifield Weaver (and husband Blair) or Abbey Benito are home from Armstrong College in Savannah, Ga., and Anderson University, Anderson, S.C., respectively, and Emma will get to socialize a bit. I wonder if Emma is having her favorite cheesecake instead of birthday cake. Phill used to make banana pudding for my birthday, and we’d always pick up a cheesecake for Emma’s. She much preferred that over birthday cake.
I was thinking about the young people I know that are around Emma’s age. I think most of us will agree that 21 is not grown up. Most of us didn’t feel grown up until we were about 30 and most 21 year olds are still living off mom and dad. I do know a couple of young people who went through some technical programs, got jobs, apartments, etc., and are living on their own, but not many. A lot of kids, like Emma, lack the maturity to do so, and some kids are working on career paths that take much longer, so they are supported by mom and dad while they work on their degrees.
They say a mother’s work is never done. I’ve certainly found that to be true! As a mother, I’m going to hold Emma accountable for her actions. I gave her the opportunity to keep this between her dad and me, and I would have taken down the blog, but Emma chose not to take that path, so I will continue researching, investigating, taking notes, and writing the blog. There are many things I haven’t written about because I don’t want Emma to know everything I know. Some information I should probably hold on to for a while, and I will write about it when the time is right. You can bet though, as long as Emma is going around lying, and accusing me of crimes, I’m going to be behind the scenes collecting information.
Who expects their child to grow up and do horrible things and hurt people? Sadly, I’ve met many parents who’ve been through something similar with their own children, and as one mom said to me, “I didn’t raise him that way.” I certainly agree. Phill and I didn’t raise Emma to be a liar. Of course we didn’t even know how much Emma had lied about until much, much later.
Emma’s dad refuses to discuss Emma with me and has no answer as to why she claims I poisoned her with DDT. In fact, I can only contact Phill on matters related to the divorce or he has threatened to block me from e-mails and texts. Kind of pathetic, I know. Phill knows how much Emma has lied, and he knows she’s lying about being abused, being sexually molested, and about being poisoned with DDT. He knows about all the lies I’ve mentioned in the blog. When Emma made up crazy stories about her friend, Kayla Benifield Weaver, Kayla’s grandparents, and Kayla’s mom, Sheree Barwise, I told Phill about them at the time, so he’s aware of Emma’s long history of lying. She’s daddy’s little girl though, and he’s going to stay in denial as long as he can.
This blog isn’t about Phill though. As, I said earlier, I intend to hold Emma accountable. If she wants to be estranged from her mother, that is her choice. I’ve talked to many parents of estranged children. Some of these kids grew up in difficult circumstances, and others, like Emma, had pretty uneventful childhoods with two parents who loved them, but for whatever reason, needed some kind of drama and turned their parents into the villains in their lives and blame them for every problem they have. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of this out there whether it is because of the entitlement generation, mental illness, or what have you.
If Emma wanted to discuss any real problems we had in our family, I’m perfectly fine with that. I can certainly own up to the fact that I made mistakes as a parent. BUT, as long as Emma is going to accuse me of abuse and of attempted murder, and accuse a priest of sexually molesting her,, I will leave no stone unturned. I will keep writing and keep investigating. Emma had the opportunity to deal with me once and move on. Now she will be dealing with me for the rest of my life. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get anywhere near Emma. She already filed a police report claiming a car that looked like mine pulled into the driveway and sat on a night she knew I was at a neighbor’s home down the street (and fortunately I had friends follow me into the subdivision and follow me out because we all suspected she might do something like that. I will know everything I can about Emma from afar.
As a parents, our job was to raise Emma to be a decent human being. Obviously, we failed at that, and it’s a little late to send her to her room for a time-out, but as long as Emma is hurting other people, I will be around. Should she ever accuse someone again of hurting her, sexually molesting her, etc., I will be the first one to step forward with all the documentation of Emma’s lies. This little girl has cried “Wolf” one too many times.
In any event, Happy Birthday Emma. I hope it was all worth it.
Love, Mom

A Christmas Past

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claims to still have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.  If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at:  losingemma@gmail.com

Emma's birthday the year she had several friends spend the night and we took them to the ice skating rink, Ice Forum in Duluth, Ga.

Emma’s birthday the year she had several friends spend the night and we took them to the ice skating rink, Ice Forum in Duluth, Ga.

Before being removed from my home, I was working on collecting a lot of sweet and funny stories from Emma’s childhood and putting them together so she would have them when she was grown. Phill still has all that on his computer, so I can’t really do it now, but I will still write down some of her stories because for so many of them, Phill wasn’t around, so I’m the only one to tell them. I think Phill may have been working weekends when Emma was in about 1st grade, and I took her to see Santa at the Hoschton Pavillion. The Hoschton’s Women’s Club sponsored having Santa come every year and took a polaroid of your child with Santa and gave out little goodie bags. It was a big deal in Hoschton, Ga., and everyone we knew with small children went up to the pavillion on a December Saturday morning for the big event. Emma was always so man shy that I don’t know if we ever did get a picture of her sitting on Santa’s lap. Usually our picture showed a somewhat distrustful Emma standing next to Santa, with a little distance between the man in red and herself. She loved Santa, but only let him get so close. This particular year, Santa had just visited Emma’s school a few days before, but at the pavillion, Santa was played by one of our neighbors, and when it was Emma’s turn, he called her by name to come up to him so she could tell him what she wanted for Christmas, get her photo taken, and get a goodie bag. As a mom, it was just one of the cutest things your kids do, and I so enjoyed the magical feeling of the season of Christmas and the excitement of taking Emma to see Santa. When she was done, Emma said goodbye to Santa and walked away. She took my hand and we headed to the car. I could hear her muttering to herself, and she sounded rather disgusted. I asked her what she was saying and she told me how this was the real Santa at the pavillion. That Santa at her school was NOT the real Santa. Then she added, “He didn’t even know my name!”

Emma turns 21 on Dec. 19! (I guess I shouldn't be expecting an invitation to the party! I might spike the punch with DDT!)

Emma turns 21 on Dec. 19! (I guess I shouldn’t be expecting an invitation to the party! I might spike the punch with DDT!)

AND………….Since Emma is about to turn the bit 21 in about 11 days, I should probably mention that she has an outstanding fine at the Winder, Ga. library. Since she’s an adult now and wants to be in charge of her life, so a good place to start would be to take care of those fines. They were on some Janette Oke books and a knitting book. I guess I will see if Emma wants to step up and pay them, or does she want her mom to pick up after her like usual.

Emma Gets a Dog!

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Emma’s Gets a Dog
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Emma with foster dog, Sam, who was adopted by Sandra Brooks McCravy and Greg McCravy, Lawrenceville, Ga.

Emma with foster dog, Sam, who was adopted by Sandra Brooks McCravy and Greg McCravy, Lawrenceville, Ga.

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

In 2012, after Emma moved to Ohio, Phill was enjoying the single life. He worked, going out of town during the week and bought a camper so he could attend RC airplane events such as SEFF, Joe Nall, etc. when he wasn’t working. He had reconnected with an old girlfriend from college as well.  He could come and go as he pleased without the responsibility of a family.  Since he had me removed from our home, he had the house and all our possessions.  He didn’t have to worry about moving, finding a job, finding a place to live, not having furniture, bedding, clothes, pots and pans, etc.  Life was good.

Phill had one of our two dogs, and I had the other, only because I could not have two dogs where I was living. With Emma gone, Phill made our 12 year old house dog a yard dog and left him outside 24 hours a day while he was out of town.  At this time, I didn’t know Emma had moved to Ohio, so I didn’t know how our poor dog was living.  Some neighbors later told me that they would go up to see him when Phill was gone. They were very concerned about this poor dog being left alone so much and suddenly being left outside in the extreme weather when he wasn’t used to it.

Phill decided the dog was too much bother, so he contacted me and told me I needed to come up with someplace for the dog to go. With the help of a couple of friends, Spike lived at a kennel until I was able to keep him, and I went to the kennel to walk him every day that I could. It wasn’t a great life, but he was fed and warm and got more attention from the kennel employees than he got at home. Also, if you know Emma’s history, this was the dog she physically abused and was cruel to, so as much as I didn’t want him living in a kennel, it was a safer place for him to be.

When I was removed from my home, we also had a foster dog, and at the time, Phill told the director of the rescue that he and Emma might adopt the dog, but he would not have been allowed to adopt the dog. That dog also went to a kennel until I took it with me to my sister’s in CT., and he was adopted up north. He got a wonderful home, and I am thankful I still her from his mom, so I get to keep up with him. Oddly though, before saying he wanted to adopt the dog, Phill claimed our neighbor (I’m assuming it was Judy Hall.) complained that the little dog (a Rat Terrier/mix) jumped up and bit her on the “ass” when she came over to let him out. The director of the rescue thought this sounded like an odd statement, and when she and I discussed it, both of us knowing how timid this dog was, it just didn’t sound like something he would do. This dog had been mauled by a large dog and nearly killed. He very, very shy, and it had taken months for him to come out of his shell even a little bit. He never showed any signs of aggression towards people or other animals. At the time, we thought Phill wanted to get rid of the dog, so he made up the “bite” story, and then later on he said he wanted to adopt him? Very strange.

Emma and foster dog, Willie, who was happy to sit with her while she worked on her homeschooling.

Emma and foster dog, Willie, who was happy to sit with her while she worked on her homeschooling.

In Sept. of 2013, after discovering Emma’s lying about his family, Emma’s boyfriend, “Bud” broke up the relationship, and sent Emma packing. She headed home to daddy with her tail between her legs. (Sorry, couldn’t resist since this IS a dog story.)

How I found out about Emma’s little dog is more a story about Phill, but it is interesting, so I will share it here.

For over 10 years, I have volunteered with a dog/cat rescue, fostering dogs in my home (up until the divorce) and going to a local PetsMart on Saturdays to help with adoptions, doing home visits, running errands, helping with fundraisers, etc. For most of that time, Emma also volunteered and went with me to PetsMart on Saturdays. Every Saturday, I’d leave the house at the same time to go to PetsMart.

On Sat., June 28 2014, two days before what would have been our 30th wedding anniversary, Phill showed up at PetsMart. I happened to be working that day, so I missed it, but one of our volunteers, M., who knew Phill quite well, was the one to tell me about it. Since Phill often brought Emma and I lunch when we were volunteering, and sat and ate with us, he saw M. almost as much as we did, and he considered her a friend just as much as I did.  He did computer work for M., and she’d been to our home for holiday dinners and such.

M. was setting up for adoptions with another volunteer and she looked up to see Phill standing before her, nervous and sweating profusely. She said he asked if I was around, and she told him I was working. Phill said something about us not getting along well, and M. turned and walked away. M. was there the day Phill showed up with Emma in the car and tried to get me to come out to the car to talk to him so that I would violate the Temporary Protective Order he had taken out on me. She had no respect for Phill and wanted nothing to do with him. Our other volunteer had known Phill and Emma as well, and was also shocked to see Phill show up at PetsMart. Later, M. saw him walking through the store with a baby gate.

Phill knew exactly when I would be at PetsMart. As M. and I talked that night, we wondered why in the world Phill showed up at PetsMart when the odds were that I would be there. Phill could have gone to numerous other PetsMarts such as the one in Winder, Flowery Branch, or the Pet Co. about ¼ mile down the road. He could have gone to a WalMart in Winder, Hamilton Mill, Buford, or any other Walmart between his work at UPS in Doraville and home in Hoschton, as Walmat sells baby gates too. Why did he decide to come to that PetsMart on the day when I would be there. He could have gone early in the morning, knowing what time we set up, so he wouldn’t have had the chance to run into me, so why did he come then? When I was working on the 1st draft of writing this post, I sent it to Phill, and he e-mailed me that he had heard that the director of the rescue had quit, so he didn’t think we would be there. What is so funny about this statement is that all he had to do was to go on the website and he would have known that the director AND the rescue were still going strong, so I’m calling B.S! Nice try, Phill.

M. did not realize that it was two days before what would have been our 30th anniversary, and when I told her she felt that that must have been the reason, that Phill wanted to drive that knife a little deeper into my heart by showing up right before our anniversary. Since then, I’ve talked to a few other armchair psychologists, as well as a couple of professionals, and the consensus seems to be that Phill wanted to see me with his own eyes for some reason. Being a man, it probably had nothing to do with our anniversary. Phill probabaly didn’t even realize that it was our anniversary. True. He got my birthday wrong on the year I turned 30, and at that point we’d been married for 6 years! We both had forgotten our anniversaries before, but I didn’t think much of that because with his schedule, unless it was a big year, we didn’t do much for our anniversaries anyway. For our 23rd we’d taken a trip to Tybee for a few days, but that was only because Emma happened to be at camp that same week. (And boy was she mad when she found out we went to Tybee Island without her!) Other than a trip to Tybee one year, and splurging on a bottle of Dom Perrion for our 20th, we didn’t do much for our anniversaries. We had talked about a trip for our 30th, and I was looking forward to doing something special for it, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

Later, someone sent me a picture (Thank you, whoever you are.) of Emma’s little dog, Arya, and it is quite cute. I’m surprised she didn’t get something more aggressive though, since she claims to be in danger when her dad is out of town for work and she is home alone. A German shepherd or a Pit Bull might have been more appropriate.

Fortunately for Emma’s little dog, it’s got a great yard to run around in. When we bought the house, I insisted on fencing the back yard. We had two acres and about an acre of it is fenced. It was great when Emma was growing up because it was a woodsy yard, and it didn’t worry me if Emma got out of sight. Phill and I figured that would be our last home, and I knew I would always have dogs, so we put up a 5 ft. chain link fence. It was really wonderful to have. (Emma’s old dog just has a little area about 10 x 15 ft fenced, but hey, we make do with what we have.) Part of the yard was open, and when I took some agility classes with one of our dogs, Phill got into building me some equipment. I’m not sure why, as I did not plan to compete in agility, as it can get quite expensive, it was just something fun to try. He was so enthused about it, I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t something I really wanted. Maybe it’s that guy thing about men and power tools. Well, as it turned out, even after I stopped going to agility, I loved having the equipment because our dogs, as well as our foster dogs enjoyed doing the runs and jumps. Unfortunately, Phill didn’t finish the wood properly, and it all fell apart after a few years.

The a-frame Phill built for the dogs in the backyard of our Deer Creek home in Hoschton. Phill Roey. Emma Roey

The a-frame Phill built for the dogs in the backyard of our Deer Creek home in Hoschton. Phill Roey. Emma Roey

PEagility1

I would love to know what the professionals think about Phill coming to PetsMart when he knew I would more than likely be there, to buy a babygate? I wonder what Dr. Richard Brown (Applied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.) , Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment and Counseling, Duluth, Ga.) , and Suzie McGarvey North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Suwanee, Ga., Lanier Counseling, Buford, Ga.) all think? But then, to be honest, I’d rather have the opinion of someone whom I consider to be a little more professional.

Happy Thanksgiving Emma

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

Happy Thanksgiving Emma. Whether you are at home with Daddy or spending it with Daddy’s RC group, I hope the cutest little turkey I know has a wonderful day! You also have a BIG birthday coming up!

P.S. Have fun with the Black Friday shopping!! I was wondering if Kohl’s is still your favorite. You know me, i will be far away from the crowds! My one and only Black Friday shopping was with you, just before……………

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma Katherine Roey

Bud the Boyfriend Part 2, The Break-up (UPDATED 11/18/14)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

Another One of Emma's Pinterest posts while dating "Bud."

Another One of Emma’s Pinterest posts while dating “Bud.”

Bud the Boyfriend, Part 2, The Break-up

When I found out about Bud, I began writing about it on the blog. I found out who Bud’s mother was and contacted her with a brief e-mail stating my situation with Emma and gave her my name, address, phone number, and e-mail address and told her to please contact me if she had any questions.

Early on, I got a couple of e-mails through the blog from Bud’s mother, but I felt a little funny about posting them, so I didn’t. Bud’s mother threatened legal action, but I’d already talked to an attorney about what I could and couldn’t post on the blog, so I wasn’t worried about any type of legal action. I think now, Bud’s mom is probably glad that I didn’t post her e-mails, but in one of her earlier messages, she stated that Emma and Bud were NOT engaged, but that she would be thrilled to have Emma as a daughter-in-law one day, and she told me to quit lying on the blog to make my story sound better. We went back and forth a few times, and Bud’s mother kept denying that Emma and Bud were engaged until I told her that I DID believe her when she said Emma and Bud weren’t engaged, but I was just writing about what Emma was telling other people, and I had the documentation to back it up.

Bud’s mother and I exchanged a few more e-mails both through the blog and privately, and I told her I would be writing more about the lies Emma told about Bud’s family, and although I put Bud’s name as well as his parents’ names in the blog, I let Bud’s mother know that I would never mention Bud’s sister’s name in the blog. I really did not want to cause this young lady any pain. I figured the adults could handle it.

From the first e-mail I received from Bud’s mother, to the last, I could sense a change in her tone. At first, she seemed very hostile towards me, and then later, I think she started to see there was something not right about Emma and the stories she told.

To be honest, I really didn’t want to hurt Bud or his parents either, but when your child has accused you of the crimes of child abuse and attempted murder, you do what you have to. I gave Emma the opportunity to keep this between her dad and me, and I had really hoped that she would tell the truth, and we would move forward from there. I thought that maybe the thought of losing Bud might push Emma in the right direction, but Emma probably felt that if Bud found out what a horrible thing she’d to her mother, he would end the relationship anyway, so there wasn’t any reason for her to tell the truth.

Emma told Bud’s family pretty much what I have said in the blog. I find it interesting that she told them she was sick as a child and that it was due to being poisoned. (That darned DDT again!) Emma claimed to continue to have health problems and always seemed to be tired and didn’t have much energy. She also got over heated easily and fainted frequently. (More about Emma’s “fainting” in a later post. She pulled a very dramatic fainting scene at the home of Fr. George and Paulette Ivey.)

Another sweet wedding idea Emma had on her pinterest page.

Another sweet wedding idea Emma had on her pinterest page.

I also find it interesting that Emma was in such fragile health while living in Ohio. I guess this was another way to play the victim. Who wouldn’t feel sorry for a frail little figure who’d suffered years of DDT poisoning? As for getting “over heated,” Emma never had problems tolerating the heat. For a while, she was on some medication that made her skin break out into red blotches if she got too much sun, but she managed to go on a 10 day mission trip with Eternal Hope in Haiti during the summer. She also went on a youth group mission trip to Cherokee, N.C. during the summer and did numerous outdoor activities in hot weather. I believe Emma’s precarious health while living in Ohio was just another drama exercise for a young lady who wanted attention.

Emma described Bud’s mother as controlling and said Bud was “under her thumb.” She claimed Bud couldn’t do anything without getting permission from his mother first. I believe, when I heard Emma making these claims, Bud was 21 years old at the time, and I just could not imagine a young man who went away to school, still having every move controlled by his mother.

emmapinterestcrazy

Ironically, Emma posted this e-card on her Pinterest while she was dating Bud.

Bud’s family never met Phill, and all they knew was that he worked for UPS and was gone most of the time. They thought Emma seemed to have a lot of freedom, very little supervision, and they were surprised when Phill let her move to Ohio without having met Bud’s family or even talking to them on the phone. They had the feeling that he wasn’t very involved in Emma’s life. Maybe this is why Emma accused Bud’s mother of being controlling. Although Bud was in college, he still had rules when he came home, and Emma didn’t seem to have any rules she had to follow.

So………….Emma moved up to Ohio, in with her boyfriend’s grandparents, and lived happily ever after, or maybe not. Emma had everything she ever wanted. She was out from under her control freak, micromanaging mother, and she’d managed to get out of Georgia and up to Ohio where she could start a new life with a new audience who didn’t know about her habit. She lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, she lied about being sexually molested, she lied about being physically abused, she lied about kids in the neighborhood she claimed did drugs, got pregnant, had abortions, etc., she lied about neighbors, family, church members, school, teachers, etc. Too many people in Georgia were catching on to Emma, so Ohio was a fresh start, but what happened?  Emma got everything she wanted in moving to Ohio.  She was pseudo-independent, living on her own, pretending to be an adult, but financially supported by her Daddy.  She had this wonderful boyfriend who had a wonderful family who seemed quite ready to accept Emma into the fold.  Why did Emma need to lie about Bud’s family?  Why did she need to keep being a victim, claiming Bud’s sister hated her and making Bud’s mother out to be a control freak, just like Emma’s own mother?

On Sept. 4th, 2013, I received a rather hateful e-mail from Emma. It was short and to the point, telling me that Bud broke up with her. After the divorce of her parents, Emma sent me a “drop dead” e-mail, just as my attorney had said she would. The e-mail stated that I was not to contact her, phone her, text her etc., and my attorney had explained that if I did contact Emma after receiving a letter from her like this, she could take out a restraining order against me. I received it, and I did not contact Emma again until after she contacted me. Later, I contacted Emma about one of the police reports, giving her the opportunity to discuss it before I published it on the blog, and she sent me the same “drop dead” email:

“DO NOT contact me again, in any form, at any time. Forms of contact include (but are not limited to): phone calls, voicemails, text messages, email messages, messages sent through a postal service, and physical/verbal in-person contact.”

So, I guess how that works is that Emma can contact me, but if I contact her after she contacts me, she sends me another “drop dead” e-mail to let me know that if I contact her again, she will take out a restraining order. I wonder if that really works? Is a judge going to take a restraining order seriously if you contact the person you are trying to get a restraining order against?

Ok, so back to the break up. What exactly happened? In the e-mail I received from Emma on that Sept. 4th, the subject line read: Congratulations, and in the e-mail Emma accused me of destroying her life “so completely” and that I won and I had proven that no matter how hard Emma tried to escape my damage and rebuild her life, I still found a way to hurt her and took away the most important, sweetest person in her life. She thought I would be thrilled to know that all the “crap” got to be too much for Bud and he’d dumped her. She asked if in my twisted mind we were somehow even or would I continue to destroy her life. She claimed she could never have a relationship because I would ruin it, what the hell did she have to do? What was my endgame? What did I want from her? She called my blog “inane” and said that stalking her boyfriend and his family til [sic] they dumped her did not score any points either.

Oh there was so much I could have said in reply to Emma’s e-mail, but what would be the point? I sent Emma a short e-mail telling her I would not do this by e-mail and she could call me if she wanted to discuss it.

That same night, I also received a much longer e-mail from Bud, telling me he had broken up with Emma. I won’t go into the details of his e-mail except to say that he stated that reading the blog and put a seed of doubt in his head about Emma, and he could not be in a relationship where he wasn’t in 100%.

I guess Emma wasn’t quite as convincing as she thought she was. She packed her bags and headed back to Georgia.  While I have no doubt that Bud is a wonderful young man, and I’m sure, under different circumstances, if he had ended up being my son-in-law someday, I would have thought Emma made a fine choice in a husband, but I thank God that Bud had the sense to realize something was not right and to end his relationship with Emma.  I can only imagine what harm she could have done to his family.  I do hope one day Emma can have a good relationship, and even get married, but I don’t think she is anywhere near ready for that step in life right now.  She needs to get her own life in order first, but as long as Emma keeps lying her way through life, that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

One more pinterest I thought Emma might like to save for her wedding ideas.

One more pinterest idea I thought Emma might like to save for her future weddings.

Coming up next: Emma’s New Dog!