Letters to “Lacey” Part 11 <<<<<>>>>>>>

Posted on March 21, 2015 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Part 11

(The following day, Emma starts yet another 5 page letter to “Lacey.”)

May 12, 2009

…….Emma mentions that our friend Ski passed away and that she is going to volunteer to get a team together to serve at the funeral…..
(Emma NEVER put the acolyte teams together. There was an adult in charge of doing that, but it does make Emma sound important and in-charge, doesn’t it? As a matter of fact, I was the one to call the priest and let him know that Emma wanted to serve at the funeral because she was fond of Ski.)

May 13, 2009

Emma talks about going going to church book club (with me) and tells “Lacey” that we are reading The Secret Life of Bees. ( by Sue Monk Kidd) and goes on to talk about keeping her phone off at church and youth group because if her friend Rob sees her with her phone, he will text her, “What’ch doin’?” or something similar, even though he is sitting six inches away from her and it’s like “What do you think I’m doing?” Usually, she just rolls her eyes, but occasional will text something back like, “Listening to deacon. Like u SHOULD be.” But it’s just easier to keep her phone off and avoid the problem.

May 14, 2009

Emma complains of a busy day and having to go to the orthodontist and how they were a half hour late for her appointment, and then she had to sit another thirty minutes while the ONLY doctor on duty worked on the patient next to her and then finally got to her, told the assistant what she needed, and left. She says if he knew it was going to take five seconds, why didn’t he do her first? And of course they chose to be jerks on the day she had somewhere else to go. Emma says we barely made it to the viewing for Ski because of the “insert profanity here” orthodontist and that if “Lacey” hasn’t picked up on it, she is in a MOOD.

(Emma’s orthodontists were Dr. Parson’s and Dr. Gilbert in Dacula, Ga. I think now they are called Smiles Forever. They were always very prompt, and I don’t ever remember any of her visits taking an hour. We were usually in and out pretty quickly. When we first started going, I thought it a little odd that it was like an assembly line, with the chairs lined up with patient after patient, but I guess for convenience, this arrangement kept things moving smoothly. For safety’s sake, it would also make it difficult for a patient to accuse a doctor of molestation or anything else, as there are so many people around, and now I think this kind of arrangement is a very good idea. After your child has falsely accused someone of molestation, you look at these things a little differently.
Emma HATED braces and did not appreciate the fact that she would have nice teeth in the long run. I never understood this because I also had braces as a child, and I remember being so proud of my “tinsel teeth.” Ok, I did hate the funky headgear, when I had to wear that, and yes there was some pain involved, but I was happy about my braces. As an adult, I really appreciate that my mother and I had to take a bus and then a subway to go downtown every time we went to the orthodontist. It was a lot of bother. (Thanks mom and dad!) Emma was completely miserable on the days we went to the orthodontist, and seemed to try to make me as miserable is she was with her constant complaining. Her teeth were not that bad, and I often wished we just hadn’t bothered with the braces. It just didn’t seem worth it, but when they came off, she did have a lovely smile. Frequently, after the orthodontist, we would stop at Starbucks for a frozen Frappuccino, which we both loved, but even this didn’t stop the complaining, and Emma would spend the rest of the day whining about how miserable and uncomfortable she was. I still remember the pain of getting the braces tightened. I would go home and take some Tylenol, have soup for dinner, and start feeling better the next day, but with Emma, every trip was pure agony.)

Emma talks about going to her piano lesson that afternoon, and how a large rat snake slithered out from under our car and went into the bushes at her teacher’s home. Emma claimed her teacher freaked out and was shaking so badly that Emma thought she was going to have a seizure!

(Ummmm, no! Emma and I were leaving her paino teacher’s house, and the teacher walked out on the porch like she always did, when we were leaving. I noticed the snake under the car, and the teacher told us she was afraid of snakes. I told her it was a rat snake and that they are harmless. She joked about how she wouldn’t come off the porch to see it, and as we got closer, the snake took off into the bushes. There was no severe shaking, as Emma described. Omigoodness, the drama!)

May 16, 2009

Emma talks about Ski’s funeral and how she couldn’t get a team together to serve because everyone else was in school. She says she did the reading (from Revelations) and everyone was very complimentary.
(See my earlier note of how Emma was NOT in charge of getting a team to serve at the funeral.)

May 17, 2009

Emma says she is really going to sit down and write more than two paragraphs tonight!
Emma talks about Sunday school and how there were blended classes that day, and how the younger kids love having an “awesome teenager” in attendance. She talks about how one of the girls is her “adopted” little sister” and then complains about some of the little girls trying to play matchmaker or asking her why she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and how she will suffer in silence and just complain to “Lacey.”

Emma tells “Lacey” cute stories about little girls fighting over her and two of them sitting with her in church, and having to take them to the bathroom. She says that not having siblings, she forgets about the urgency of pottly, and the dire seriousness of “now” makes her realize her mistake in discussing the subject and wasting precious time, (Asking, “Can you wait until the sermon is over?”) and then complains about having to walk down the aisle all the way to the back of the church an then troop back to the front row. She says she feels like everyone is watching her, and after church many people told her what a good mother she would be. Emma tells “Lacey” that she hates the pressure she feels from these people, like if her highest aspiration isn’t to be a mommy, there’s something wrong with her, but honestly, she doesn’t want children! She can sit with the for a few hours, even a couple of days, and then she is ready for them to go back to where they came from. She doesn’t want the responsibility 24/7. She doesn’t feel like she can say that to people. It’s like with all this gender equality junk, women are STILL expected to be the homemakers and care for children, and if they don’t there is something wrong with them.

(If I said something about having grandchildren one day, Emma would frequently tell me that she wasn’t going to have children. I usually said something like, “Good. You shouldn’t want children at your age. You have too many other things to do.” Or that she needed to finish growing up first, or something along those lines. Emma would frequently get angry and try to convince me that no, she NEVER wanted children, and try to get me to argue with her. Let’s face it, as a mother, when your 15-16 year old is talking about not having children, you don’t take it too seriously. I remember feeling the same way. There is a time and a place, and frankly, contrary to what is happening in a lot of society, I thought it was a good thing that Emma didn’t want children at that point. It wasn’t something I was going to argue over, but Emma would go on and on trying to convince me that she was never having children. I think she got mad that I didn’t argue with her about it. Later on, when Phill decided he wanted a divorce, he told me that Emma never wanted children because she was afraid she would be a mother like me.)

In the next part of the letter, Emma talks about the youth group end of school party, and complains that one of the kids brought a Wii and how she wished they would at least communicate with others some of the time instead of playing video games. Before the party, Emma went home with her friend Jordan, and Jordan and her little brother were trying to teach Emma to play tennis on the Wii. Emma states that she has never played a video game in her life! She says she did pretty badly, but it is not important to her as she thinks her hobbies are a bit more worthwhile. “It’s a lot harder to get into the video industry than the music industry. Ya know?”

(Another lie, er, I mean, exaggeration about having NEVER played video games in her life. Ummm, not true. Emma played lots of video games when she was younger, and was really hooked on Bejeweled when Phill put it on the computer. Overall, yes, she wasn’t really that into video games, but if she found something that interested her, she would play.)

Emma comments on her youth group leader having a Mill Creek yearbook, and says she pretend to be sad about not having a yearbook, and how she and another child who were homeschooled would have a yearbook of one. Then, this young girl went off into a corner and made Emma a homeschool yearbook with a napkin and a sharpie, and everyone signed it, even Ms. Karen, the youth group leader. Emma says she values that napkin more than the $80-500 page year book she got from Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma tells a few stories about the youth group party and then mentions talking to Evan, whom she would develop a crush on over the summer, about music. She says she envies him because he plays two instruments and she only plays one. Emma says she tried harmonica for a while only to discover that it was not her calling. Evan told Emma that playing the recorder was mandatory in middle school, but since Emma was homeschooled, she wasn’t aware of this. Then she mentions playing recorder when she was in a homeschool program, and as if it’s not bad enough to hate the instrument and be utterly unable to play it everybody else got their recorders through the schools and gets white ones, but Emma had a clear blue one brought from home because her mom won’t buy her a normal one. That makes her inadequacy even more obvious. What’s so funny is that Evan said, “You got it for your birthday with the little book, right? I was the same way.”

Emma says being hopeless on the recorder and bringing one from home that always caught the teacher’s attention made her call out every mistake Emma made, so it made her feel better to know there was another person on the face of the earth who had to go through music class with a blue recorder. Emma says she doesn’t know why, but she found that comforting.

(Omigoodness, poor Emma! Scarred for life by a transparent blue recorder!! Goodness! Is this another form of abuse? Why didn’t she call DFACS back then? Things wouldn’t have escalated to iris folding, expensive drama classes, and all the other horrible things Emma’s mother forced upon her! Ok, in all seriousness. Emma greatly exaggerates her ineptness at the harmonica and the recorder. She could play both of them, but she was not interested. Since she already played the piano, she had no difficulty learning the fingering and playing the recorder.
And as for that horrible blue recorder, I don’t remember when I got it. A friend of ours sold scholastic books, and I would let Emma pick some out, and I would pick some out that I thought might be good for school. I got the recorder, yes with the music book, thinking she would enjoy it, and we gave it to her either for her birthday or Christmas. Had I known it would lead to such a traumatic experience, I certainly wouldn’t have bothered. Emma started figuring it out and playing some of the simple songs the very first day she had it.
Emma took a recorder class as one of her electives in the homeschool program we attended. The teacher told the kids they could pick up a recorder at the dollar store and that would be just fine. Since Emma already had a recorder, I didn’t worry about getting another. Silly me, I should have spent the extra buck.
Ok, in all honesty, I’m just assuming that Emma didn’t have enough teen angst to complain to “Lacey” about, so she had to turn the recorder story into something it wasn’t. Funny how she never complained about the blue recorder when she was taking the class. )

Emma tells “Lacey” about playing Apples to Apples at the party and explains how the game is played, and then how her parents picked her, Rob, Molly, Jordan, and Alex up and gave everyone a ride home while the kids played the sentence game where each person in the car adds a word to a sentence. Emma says she typed a sentence into her phone so she would remember to tell “Lacey” and it was, “How many monkeys can t ink when there is a demented psychopathic anteater chasing them around?” and says there was another sentence they made about purple ants juggling yellow humans, Lol.

Emma signs off saying that that is about it for the sonderful adventures of her life thus far and to write soon!

Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate

Letters to “Lacey” Part 10

Posted on March 15, 2015 by losingemma

Phill and Emma when we were on a sightseeing trip in NYC. Phill Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Part 10
May 9, 2009
(Emma starts another 5 page letter to “Lacey.”)

Another, “Hey Laura!” and Emma tells “Lacey” that it is 1:10 am and she can’t sleep because she took her migraine meds. Emma talks about her mom teaching part time at a local Christian homeschool arts program and that the parent showcase was the previous night. Emma says that it is a collection of skits by all the classes strung together on a basic story line about happiness, truth, freedom, etc., and says that she went to the performance because A) she had nothing better to do, and B) a lot of people there found her on facebook, so she thought it would be fun to see them again. She didn’t remember until she was actually there, but everyone was so nice. No one told her how she could dress better, but ten people must have told her how pretty she looked. She was amazed how those people cared about her even though they hadn’t seen her in over a year. Coming from public school, it was hard to believe that two communities could coexist……. She states that she hopes to go back there next year now that she really appreciates it. (Funny thing is, we let Emma do online school the following year and she refused to go back to the homeschool arts program which was held on Fridays for ½ day.)

Emma goes on to say that a few people were interested in what public school was like and she was so torn at answering that question. In some ways she would say you have to see firsthand what a public school is like so you can really appreciate that you aren’t there, but in some ways you would be sooo much happier if you never had to go through that. For instance, forgive Emma for putting it bluntly, but when y ou barely recognize the existence of the f-word, you aren’t going to be grateful that people don’t shout it at each other sixty times daily, ya know?

By the way, Emma says, if some of this letter is incoherent, just don’t worry about it. Keep in mind that she is extremely sleep deprived and burning up. Did she mention that the a/c was broken? So whatever temperature it is outside is the temperature inside, and we have a wonderful A/C guy, but the problem is getting him to show up. He can never manage that. He was supposed to be there yesterday. (Ok, the part about the a/c guy is true. Jeff was wonderful and reasonable, but he rarely showed up when he said he would, and he rarely called to tell you he wasn’t coming.)

Later on in the day, Emma continues the letter around 8pm:

Emma says the song “What If” by Nicole Nordeman has been running through her head:

They say the cross will only make a fool of you.
And what if it’s true?
What if He takes His place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taughter us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?
But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump
And just close your eyes
What if the arms that catch you, cathc you by surprise….

Emma says she loves the chorus to the song. It makes her wonder about all the world religions, our religion atheism, and reminds her of a couple o her favorite pieces of wisdom she’s picked up over the years:
If Christians die to find out atheists were right all along, what do they lose? Nothing. But if atheists die to find out Christians were right, what do they lose? Everything.

Also, she got this from a guy who spoke at a graduation: At college you will be met with logic that makes sense and sounds good, and also totally contradicts Christ. Yes, there will be proof that Christianity is a lie. To Adam and Eve, there was proof that nothing bad would happen if they ate the forbidden fruit. (Emma says in parentheses that she was listening to this going “wow”…) From the beginning, Satan has used sound logic to trick us. It totally puts terms like “fact, reality, logic” into a new perspective, huh? (I’m thinking Emma fell for Satan’s trick. What about you?)

May 10, 2009

Emma talks about the church’s Mother’s Day Luncheon and Fashion Show and complains that she always ends up in the fashion show. She never volunteers for it, but her name magically appears in the bulleting as a model anyway. Oh, well. Don’t let Emma make too much of a martyr of herself, she goes on, as it wasn’t that bad. There were a couple of new twists in her part this year. They called her Friday night and asked her to play some dinner music at the lunch while people were coming in. Oh, ya, a day and a half of notice, let’s see what she can come up with?

Emma played some of the score to Phantom of the Opera, which she knew fairly well. Emma was pleased and embarrassed that Evan stood beside her and listened from beginning to end……
Emma says she also volunteered to help serve people their food, and this was just as well because it took away from the fact that she wasn’t eating. She tells “Lacey” not to worry because she’s not anorexic, but she doesn’t like the food. Emma tells how she was serving one side of the room and Evan was serving the other.
After everybody finished lunch, Emm ran upstairs to dress for the fashion show, and one of the younger girls told her they heard her playing the piano and how good she was, but that she thought the church would get a “professional” and the girl’s older sister said, “Shhh! She is a professional!” (True? I would guess this was a cute fabrication.)

By the way, Emma tells “Lacey”, whenever she goes to church, she sees to effortlessly accumulate a posse, so it’s not surprising that she ended up on the catwalk with two little girls….

May 11, 2009

Emma says this letter may be a bit short, but she’s going to get it in the mail the following day. She is looking forward to the end of school party the youth grou is having the following Sunday.

Emma talks about getting “Lacey’s” e-mail and about “Lacey’s” mom’s breast cancer. Emma says this must have been really trying, but it makes “Lacey” a huge part of who she is and it is amazing that she can share her experiences so openly because it can be such a blessing for those who are hurting.
(If you’ve read the blog, you already know that Emma lied about “Lacey’s” mom’s breast cancer. There were at least 2 or 3 times Emma claimed “Lacey’s” mother was hospitalized and on death’s door. They didn’t know if she would pull through! Oh the drama! My attorney spoke to “Lacey’s” parents, and I spoke to “Lacey’s” mother myself. She did have breast cancer, but was treated as an outpatient and was NEVER hospitalized, and was close to dying.)
Emma tells “Lacey” that she loves her poems because they express what Emma herself would say if she had the courage to write it down. Going back to not sharing emotions/trusting people. Emma feels like if she doesn’t put it on paper or saved it on a computer, it’s just that much less likely that other people will find out how she really feels. It’s so much easier to talk to “Lacey” because she doesn’t have any expectations Emma has to uphold. Emma doesn’t have to worry about something she may say wrong and shattering “Lacey’s fragile impression of her. Emma says she builds a façade and cultivates it, continually adding detail and chrisma and charm until it doesn’t even occur to people that there might be something deeper. She feels like it is too late to stop. It’s different with “Lacey” though because “Lacey” doesn’t see the face, ya know? Emma says she guesses “Lacey” does the same thing.

Also, about the poem, about looking into your eyes and seeing the real you, (not the façade)….It’s funny, Emma doesn’t even worry about people seeing past it anymore. She realizes now that people only see what they want to see. Emma wonders what they’d think if they knew who she really was, but she also knows that they don’t want to know. They see a sweet, well-spoken, gentle young lady and they like what they see, so they don’t want to look any further. That is both relieving and disconcerting at the same time, you know what she means? It is just nice to know that someone else (Lacey) is going through what Emma is going through. Emma says she looks at Jordan, Evan, Rob… do they ever feel this way? She doesn’t know and she never asks because that would be admitting she feels this way, which Emma could never do. Then she looks at the little girl she babysits who’s life’s ambition is to be a teenager. Will she feel like this, or will it be as great for her as she th inks it is for Emma. It is so hard to think about all this…
Emma says these thoughts remind her of the chorus form a song by Jars of Clay, Two Hands:
I use on hand to pull you closer,
The other to push you away…
I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar that thirsts for the truth..

Emma says the song is about being divided and how we could do much more if we were united.
(I am refraining from commenting here. Too much teen angst, which I know is just part of growing up.)

Emma says she just said this, but she is so comforted to know someone else is going through the same thing she is. It is also nice to have someone to talk to that she feels like she can actually trust. She thinks she can trust “Lacey” because she doesn’t have the expectations that everyone else has. No one tells her what to think of Emma. Does that make sense? She hopes so. It doesn’t make sense to Emma how she can be so h appy sometimes and so utterly depressed other times. Does “Lacey” feel the same way? Emma just looked at this letter and saw that she was all over the place on the emotional side of things.

Emma talks about an older couple that we were friends with at church. The husband passed away the year before, and the wife was now going on hospice.

Then Emma bounces back to see if she can end on a lighthearted note and tells a funny story about Jordan calling her after she sent out the e-mail about the youth group party.
“What day is the party? It doesn’t say.” Jordan asks, and Emma tells her to read Emma the subject line which has “Sunday” in it, and Jordan asks, “Oh, it’s Sunday?”
Emma sas that Jordan will be the first of many who will call or e-mail her with that question, and then mentions she is babysitting the following night, so she can watch Aquamarine again…………
Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate

Letters to “Lacey” Part 9

Posted on March 10, 2015 by losingemma

Emma on a youth group church trip where they went scuba diving in a pool. Emma Roey. Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey.

Part 9

May 7, 2009
The very next day Emma starts another letter to “Lacey.” This one is 3 pages, single spaced. She starts out saying how she resolves to write more light-hearted thoughts about nothing in particular (to compensate for the depressing letter she mailed out this morning). She says this is the last day she is locked in the back room of the counseling office at Jackson County Comprehensive High School. She says she finished her last final and is bored out of her mind. That along wigh feeling bad for not writing “Lacey” last week (because she went to SEFF) is why she is writing so much this week, so she will share all her random thoughts, stories and other stuff she feels compelled to share with “Lacey.”

Hmmmm. Where should she start? Emma says her mom keeps texting her since shes at the school, and of course she has her phone on vibrate, so she jumps when she is not expecting to get a text. It happened during lunch and everyone was laughing at Emma (not with her) when in the middle of a sentence she went, “Ahhh!” She is lucky the administrators didn’t see her look at her phone. Students aren’t supposed to have them on campus. Emma says she is not technically a student, but they treat her like one because they don’t know any different. She is not sure if these qualify as happy thoughts, but she is trying….

(And no, I did not make it a habit of texting Emma while she was at school. If I were to text her, it usually would have been in response to a text Emma sent me. I did not feel like I should text Emma while she was at school. Also, there was no rule about the kids not having cell phones. They ALL had cell phones. They were not supposed to have them out during class, but there was no rule that they could not have them at school. A slight exaggeration there.)

Emma tells “Lacey” just so she knows, Emma deleted the last letter after she printed it yesterday. That way no one can ever find it and trace it back to Emma. She says she will do the same with this letter. It never hurts to be safe.

(Hmmm. I wonder why Emma felt the need to delete her letters? What did she have to hide? I guess she didn’t expect “Lacey” to turn them over to my attorney.)

Emma’s next paragraph starts off saying that Oh, she can think of something that is not depressing! She got an e-mail that Rob tagged her in a note on Facebook. So, she opened up the note, figuring it would be something worth reading, but it was chain mail. Emma says she loves her friends, but does not understand them.

Emma says she just texted Jordan and asked what was a funny youth group story, trying to think of something to tell “Lacey” and Jordan texted back “idk…….monopolyzng? :P” Emma says to remember that Jordan can’t or won’t spell… and anything that she says includes “idk” whether she really knows or not). Emma says she THINKS she knows what Jordan means by that, and it’s a story she doesn’t think she’s told “Lacey.” The kids were at youth grou one night, talking about “norms” which basically meant Ms. F. was talking about how to run the group and a few of them were half paying attention while the rest were off in na-na land (teenagers do not listen well at 7:30 on a Sunday night). Ms. F. was talking about how everyone needs to feel comfortable sharing their ideas, and this won’t happen if one person keeps talking. To back up her point, she told us about an instance in the book club where one adult participant (whom she did not name) was monopolizing the conversation and because of that, other people were too intimidated to contribute. Then she asked the kids to share their experiences with this problem and Evan, who was still processing the book club example raised his and and said, “But Father T. is the priest…..isn’t he supposed to monopolize the converstation?” Everybody, Even Ms. F. started laughing.
Emma goes on to say that most of them knew that adult she was referring to was Mrs. L, who’s family Emma wrote about earlier, and everyone knew it was not Father T.
(Ok, the only problem here is that Ms. L. never attended bookclub. I attended book club, and Emma often went with me, but never went without me. Mrs. L. never participated in the book club Just an opportunity for Emma to speak ill of someone she didn’t like. It did not matter if it were true or not.)

Emma goes on to say that Jordan is sort of upset with her bacuse she asked Emma what she would say if she were to speak at Jordan’s funeral. Emma gets more verbose telling the story, but basically says she would want to tell a story that people would remember Jordan by, so she would tell about when they were at camp and Jordan was performaning her color guard routine with the mop.
“What?? That’s what you want people to remember me by?? Why?? That’s mean!!”
Emma says that the problem was that Jordan knew exactly what she wanted Emma to say before they started talking, but unfortunately, Emma didn’t, so now Jordan is mad at her for saying the wrong thing at her imaginary funeral. And how does Emma end up with friends she can’t understand?

Emma’s next paragraph starts out with, “Guess what?” Emma says she still has an hour and fifty-seven minutes to talk to “Lacey” and isn’t “Lacey” thrilled. She also changed to a smaller font so she won’t have to print out as many pages. Let her see, what life changing venture can Emma tell “Lacey” about now? Oooo, she got a camera. It’s a Kodak and it’s dark purple. It stores almost 2000 pictures. Now she can take pictures of her friends and be assured she is not in them. Of course, she will have to be careful not to let it out of her hands… She is sure her friends would be absolutely delighted to torture her with her own camera. They have enough fun pulling out cameras or phones and pointing them at her. Oh, and there’s a really funny video Jordan has of Confirmation last summer. When you hit play, everything is blurry and then it focuses on the group and they all make funny faces. Then you her Jordan say, “I’m taking a video…” and everyone drops their poses and grumbles. Lol.

Then Emma says oh wow, Jordan just texted her. All it says is, “c pretty butum.” And Emma actually does not see the pretty button because apparently Jordan forgot the picture she ment to attach. Or knowing Jordan, she may have even forgotten to attach the pretty button video she thought to take for Emma’s viewing pleasure.

What other useless material does Emma feel like sharing. She may tell Jordan about the time the pool collapsed….then Jordan texts again with a video attachment that is labeled “pretty butun” and the video is 23 seconds long, but it’s very dark, so it is hard to tell if it is a button on Jordan’s knee under her desk. Emma says she can hear Jordan’s Geometry teacher in the background saying, “And with the second prep, I want you to do for homework…I will take this up” and the video cuts off.
Next Emma goes on to tell the pool story about how she and Kayla Benifield Weaver collapsed our inflatable pool, but they were fine and came out miraculously unscathed except for Kayla hitting her head on a tree.
(Another Brian Wiilliams/Emma Roey moment here, as I was there when the pool collapsed, and no, Kayla did not hit her head on a tree. I wonder if Emma had to duck from sniper fire as well?)

Emma writes a little more fluff, killing time about looking out the window and all the things she sees in the parking lot, how she has an hour and 15 minutes left, complains about the 2 hours she spends on the school bus, talks about an upcoming church youth group trip… Emma complains about needing a bathing suit, but the only thing she can find in her size is a bikini, and she would like to order a tankini, but they are so expensive.…. and then signs off with the usual:
Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate

(One last note about the bikini. I don’t know why Emma felt the need to say the only thing she could find in her size was a bikini. At that point, we were busy finishing up with school and did not go shopping for a bathing suit until probably sometime in June. In fact, I had ordered Emma a tankini from Land’s End, but after she got it, she decided she didn’t like it and refused to wear it. If only she’d told me that before she wore it so I could have returned it. I don’t understand this need to say the only thing she could find was a bikini. Emma never would wear a bikini, and we did find a lovely black and white suite at Kohls’s that met with her approval. See Pic……….. )

Letters to “Lacey” Part 8

Posted on March 7, 2015 by losingemma

For about 7 years, Emma, her aunt, and I went to the William Holland School in Young Harris Ga. every summer for a week. In 2010, Emma spent a week learning how to cut Cabachons.

Part 8

May 6, 2009

Emma starts out this letter to “Lacey” with and “Ugh” and says that she is at Jackson County Comprehensive High School for three days of EOCT testing. It only took her a few minutes on the bus for her to remember exactly why she hates JCCHS and the people there so much. From the moment she got on the bus she saw more evidence of “their” backstabbing definition of friendship. Emma supposes they consider crucifying a ‘friend’ for what she’s wearing, because it’s not in style, to be good for her. At least that was how Emma interpreted the situation. Today, they were criticizing K. for her flip-flops that she wore three days ago. Emma says she did not see the flip-flops, but apparently they were not in style and she is refraining from using the profanities they uttered repeatedly, but she is sure “lacey” can imagine.

Emma tells “lacey that is is so strange. When they are on the bus, Emma is totally and completely disgusted with them and can’t wait until she can get off the bus and run to the counselor’s off ice (that’s where she tests and uses the computer) and get away from them. But then she at lunch with them because it is better than eating alone, slightly, and they were talking and saying they miss Emma and they were talking about friendships, and C. put her arm around Emma and said, “Emma and me, we’re tight, man!” Emma asks “Lacey”, if C. honestly believes that??? After all, C. had not seen Emma in months. In those few moments, Emma felt like maybe, just maybe she could be friends with the girls , but that was until Bo flicked a ketchup-loaded lettuce leaf in her direction, and Emma said, “Hey! These are my new jeans!” so Bo told her that she shouldn’t wear them to school. Emma talks about being sick and having lost 10 lbs., and keeping her clothes nice (not grungy) and modest, which is unacceptable to her friends.
(A slight exaggeration on the weight loss. Emma would lose two or three pounds during her vomiting episodes, but the only time she lost 10 pounds was when she had Rotovirus.)

Emma says she will tell “Lacey” about her “friends.” She starts with C. and says that she met her when she started volunteering with the animal rescue group that we worked with and she liked her for years. Emma noted that C. did curse a lot, but she seemed nice other than that. C. also assured Emma that she and her friends would take Emma under their wing when she came to high school, but Emma did not realize that C’s bringing her into the clique would impact Emma so greatly. Shortly after Emma started at JCCHS, C. had her first abortion, and Emma says that that shook her to her core. You see, until then, everything had been great. Emma felt loved and accepted and overlooked the things she didn’t want to see like the backstabbing and the drinking and drugs. Basically you name it, and C. does it, but the abortion was too much for Emma to ignore.
(If you have been reading the blog, I have already told the abortion story. It was a lie. Emma made it up.)

After C.’s “abortion,” Emma says she started to open her eyes. She began to realize that the people here were not people she wanted to be around, much less look up to or be in a ‘group’ with. When Emma looked at what went on, she was still amazed that the people like her church friends still existed. If there was anyone at JCCHS like her church friends, Emma had yet to find them, and she has tried! So many people Emma used to think a lot of have turned out to be unworthy of her commentation..she can’t think of one at school that she truly admires.
KB is another “friend”. BTW, all these friends live in Emma’s neighborhood, she states. The other friends tell KB she is stupid, although they use a much less polite term. KB believes them and even says it herself.

M. is who Emma considers to be the most intelligent “friend.” She is just as cruel as any of them, but she is also a bit more aware. She has half a clue about politics, although she’d probably tell you she had a whole clue. She thinks she knows it all. “It all” entails the huge government conspiracy that’s out to get us. M. agrees with Emma’s political views, but is much more radical than Emma and Emma and is an extreme right winger. She wants conservatives to rule the world, basically.

A more lighthearted moment, Emma talks about being on the phone with Jordan the night before and talking about Twilight, and then goes into a long descriptive story about Jordan and a spider…

Emma goes on to tell another story about Jordan and when they were at camp the previous summer. Emma claims that she found Jordan out cold on the bathroom floor, and when she came to, all she could whisper was “Spider” and Emma killed it because she didn’t want to risk losing Jordan again.
(Ok, seriously, does anyone believe this story happened? It makes a great story, but Jordan doesn’t really faint that easily.)

Emma’s last paragraph tells about “the wonderful world of grandma” because her grandmother sent her a card and Emma couldn’t understand why her grandmother bought a 50 cent card and then sent it priority mail. Emma complains that Grandma signs “Love” but never writes a personal message.
Emma signs off and says if she writes anymore it will be about the Bad Place where she is, and that would just be depressing.

Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate.

Letters to Lacey Part 7 ————UPDATE COMPLETE 3/1/15

Posted on February 17, 2015 by losingemma

Christmas 2008, one of Emma’s gifts was a fairly extensive make-up set. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Letters to “Lacey” Part 7

May 3, 2009

This 6 page typewritten letter starts out with Emma apologizing for not writing for a week but she says she has a pretty good excuse.
Emma changes the subject and talks about listening to a song by Natalie Grant called Perfect People which, for those who may not be familiar with the song, starts like this:
This song is not for you, if you’ve never cried a river
Or had your heart broken in two
This song is not for you, if everyday you wake up
The skies are blue
But this is for anyone, no matter how you pray
The pain won’t let you get through
But you try and you try
Still they lie, they say that it’s over for you

Read more: The Walls Group – Perfect People Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Emma says this song is so true. She guesses that is basically human nature. It sort of ties into hiding emotions, which Emma understands because she does that too. She doesn’t want to hurt people or EVEN WORSE damage their perception of her. Emma says she tries to appear flawless before everyone because that is what she wants to be. She guesses subconsciously that she hopes if enough people think she is a wonderful person then maybe she will be that person. She asks “Lacey,” “Ya get what I’m saying?” and says from “Lacey’s” letter, she thinks she does.

Emma says she totally connects to another Natalie Grant song called Back to My Heart.

Strong on the outside
But coming apart at the seams
That’s me
Tragically always together
But bruised underneath
Well, that’s me
I stand just to stumble
Tripping on my pride
Why do I always try to hide?
Meanwhile, back at my heart
I’m desperate for all that You are
Undo me, take me apart

Read more: Natalie Grant – Back At My Heart Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Emma says she definitely has issues with surrendering and trusting Him completely with her life. It is not something she can fathom. She is one of those people who always has to appear in control, even when her life is really coming apart. She has to be the organizer, to plan everything, to know exactly what’s going on down to the last minute detail.
Next Emma starts answering random questions. Her birthday is Dec. 19, 1993. Her e-mail is dogbreath….., and she talks about wanting to read the book “Lacey” mentioned called Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. She says she’d heard of it and had seen ads for it in World magazine. She says she hasn’t read it, but she wants to.
Emma mentions “Lacey” telling her about her imaginary friend, Christine, and Emma says it is not lame that “Lacey” had an imaginary friend. Emma confesses that she never had an imaginary friend, but she did write letters to nobody in particular. It is much easier than actually confiding in someone. Emma says she is always the first person her friends trust with secrets and the last person to share her own. Also, as she mentioned before, Jordan is the only girlfriend Emma has that she sees a lot, and Jordan is just not someone Emma trusts with secrets. It is nothing personal, it is just that Emma knows Jordan does not think before she speaks. She eventually blurts things out one way or another. (In case “Lacey is wondering, Emma has learned this from experience.” Jordan doesn’t mean to to this, and she is very sorry afterwards, but that is not much help. Emma says she would rather not induce the inevitable. Like she said, Emma has to be in control, and sharing secrets is sharing control. Emma adds that she is an only child and doesn’t share well, and then says in parentheses “Half Joking. Half serious.”

Emma comments on something “Lacey” said in her last letter and says that “Lacey” and Emma are a lot of like because they won’t tell people when they are hurt because they want to handle it themselves, but they are quick to comfort friends who are hurting.
Emma says she guesses “Lacey” has figured out that she is disappointed with Obama. She hopes that the economy will hit rock bottom during his term because that would more likely get people to vote conservative in 2012. Emma says she would love to see Huckabee run.

Emma talks about reading in Reader’s Digest that Shyness is a disease, and BTW she loves Reader’s Digest. She talks about “Lacey” and her sisters………….

(If you have been reading the blog, you will remember that Emma used an article from Reader’s Digest just a few months before writing this letter to Lacey. While attending Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Emma claimed that the kids had drug parties where they took anything they could get from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw all the pills in a bowl, and then passed the bowl around, so each participant could grab a handful of pills and swallow them. I later realized Emma had gotten this idea from the Reader’s Digest.)

In the next paragraph, Emma says she knows what “Lacey” means about wanting to talk to the guys at her church. When Emma was at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she passes her neighbors, Josh and Neal Andrews on the narrow sidewalk that led to first block (class). She says they used to be really close friends from her birth to about first grade. Then they went to different schools and grew apart, but every day they’d be the only people on that far end of campus at 8:15, and never once in the five months we saw each other every day did they ever speak to each other. They both pretended the other party didn’t exist. Emma felt like it was their “home turf” and if they wanted to establish a friendship then fine, and if not, that’s fine too, but Emma didn’t want to invade anyone’s world by pushing herself in.
Anyway, Emma hoped He would help “Lacey” find the courage to talk to the guys at church and that “Lacey” already has something in common with these guys, their faith, and maybe He’ll use the connection to create relationships that will help others.
(If you ever saw JCCHS around 2008, it was a very crowded school. I can’t imagine Emma, Josh, and Neal being the ONLY ones anywhere on that campus. Any time before or after school, or between classes, there were kids everywhere.)

May 4, 2009
Emma talks about how “Lacey’s” dance recital sounds like fun, and Emma can’t dance, so she envies “Lacey.” The picture “Lacey” sent of “Lacey” and Nikki was great, and Lacey’s school picture was perfect. Emma wishes she had that good a picture; hers looks fake, but then she generally doesn’t like pictures of herself.
Emma mention’s “Lacey’s” voice recital and says she used to be in choir with Rob and Jordan until out church decided to cut it because there weren’t enough kids. Emma claims she ended up either getting the solos or singing the solos because the other soloists chickened out. Emma, on the other hand, just doesn’t care what people think, and church people are nice, ya know? Gnenerally, with the exception of the L family. Although they go bay a different name in “Lacey’s” town, Emma says she is sure they go to her church, too. The mom will talk your ear off about her kids, but doesn’t want to hear anything you have to say. The dad will sign up to be on the Grounds Crew, but he never actually shows up. The daughter is Emma and “Lacey’s” age and one of their least favorite people. She is very into fashion and has to comment (very rudely) on anything you wear that is not ‘in style.’ The younger son always gets into trouble and ends up blaming it on someone else. The mom will always defend him in this, even though he is claiming it’s Will’s fault and Will is one of the best behaved kids in church. Emma is sure by now that “Lacey” knows exactly who she is talking about….every church has a family like that.

(Emma knew the L’s daughter (whom I will refer to as LD) from about 2nd grade until we left the church when Emma was in 10th grade. The two girls NEVER got along, and Emma frequently complained about this young lady being mean to her, saying something she wore was “so last year” or telling her that she probably got her dress on clearance. When the two girls went to church camp one year, Emma complained that Mrs. L sent her daughter a box with things for all the girls in the cabin, but LD hoarded the items and wouldn’t share with the other girls.
I am a little curious as to know Emma would know that Mr. L never actually showed up as a member of the Grounds Crew. Mr. L was actually a member of the vestry and well as in charge of the Grounds, and people worked on the grounds at all hours, not when church was going on, so I don’t know how Emma would have any idea that this man never actually showed up.)

SEFF 2009

The next part of the letter Emma tells “Lacey” about being at SEFF the previous week. SEFF is the Southeast Electric Flight Festival held at Hodges Hobbies in Americus, Ga, the largest RC (remote control) airplane event in the word, and Emma just happens to be the Assistant Director, as well as the only girl on the staff of 50+ people, she says. She started going there three years ago, and her dad (who’d been on staff at SEFF) had asked Jeff Meyers, the director, to put her on staff too. Jeff somewhat reluctantly agreed. He was always pulling his hair out, so Emma was to be his helper and basically do what he told her. Emma says that in a event with thousands of people, the miscellaneous stuff is a job in itself. Believe her, she knows.

Emma says the first year she went to SEFF was known as Cinderella SEFF. Basically, even though she worked her tail off, she got lucky in a lot of areas. Two people gave her airplanes, just being nice. One was worth about $500, an Extra 360. Emma also won a lot of prizes in the raffle and won another plane in the prize drop.

Emma says her perception of people was really skewed the first year. She was still sort of afraid of the men referred to as the Hodge Hounds that worked for Hodges Hobbies story or help maintain the property. The degree of education, politeness/manners, and general redneck-ness varies greatly among the Hodge Hounds. Mel is a veteran, well educated and generally polite. “No-–hoes” Chris is very southern, thinks manners mean s washing our hands before digging in (he’s never heard of silverware), and thinks that it’s not good unless it has jalapeños on it (this concept is not limited to food, by the way). Emma goes on to say how she used to be scared by the Hodge Hounds, but came to realize how nice they were………….

Emma foes on to say another person she had a very skewed perception of was the director, Jeff Meyers. The first year, Emma thought he was great. He was nice to her and did a great job with the event. He did everything well, and was nice enough to not only pay all the volunteers’ expenses, but gave each of them $150 on top of that. Emma says she was blind to the other side of Jeff. It wasn’t until this year that she began to notice the little things. She goes on to say that Jeff is basically an alcoholic and by the end of the day he can barely form a coherent sentence. He is majorly addicted to chewing tobacco, and there are cans of it everywhere; in his file box, in the cooler, in the boxes of stuff they use for the event… She still thinks Jeff does a great job running the event, but she does not look up to him the way she used to.

Emma talks about how during the event, she does the miscellaneous stuff. She is in the background doing what needs to be done. She doesn’t want to be in the spotlight. But being one of the only teenage girls down there, she always ends up getting some attention that she’d be much happier without. Most of the guys on staff look at me like a daughter or granddaughter, and that’s fine. One of the guys, Mike Deboer (aka the Raffle Nazi, Curmudgeon, or Mean Mike) is even her honorary granddaddy. But some of the men, like thirties or forties actually try to flirt with Emma! Emma just thinks that’s creepy. She can half understand that with guys her age, but beyond that, it just makes her uncomfortable. But, she is staff and she has to deal with the spectators a lot, so she can’t afford to make enemies. It is really a bad situation. She tries to ignore them, but they don’t take the hint. That is when she needs her friend, Jordan. Jordan can handle that. Jordan likes attention and she can take it well. Emma can’t. She’d give anything to have Jordan down there with her.

Emma goes on to describe her duties at SEFF. She is in charge of dealing with and setting up vendors under a huge cover where they can sell their stuff. She is also in charge of scheduling the Noon Demos on Friday and Saturday, which is fun. All sorts of planes fly, and they have some of the best pilots in the world. She doesn’t mention everything because it is boring. She figures “Lacey” doesn’t want to hear about labeling tables and sweeping trailers and telling spectators, for the millionth time that they can NOT use channel 2 on the radio because it is reserved for staff communications. But she does work really hard, 8 hours pretty mjuch everyday even though she is scheduled for two to four. Emma says she got paid better this year. Instead of $150, she and Phill got $350 each. Emma goes on to say how her “rents” don’t pay her for anything, ever, so she is really careful about how she spends her money.
(Phill and I had tried giving Emma an allowance in exchange for a few chores every week, but it was such a battle to get Emma to do her chores, we gave up on this idea. We bought everything she needed or wanted, and gave her money if she was going somewhere, so she didn’t really need an allowance.)

Emma’s next paragraph says there were a couple of other girls on staff this year. Emma says she knows she told “Lacey” that she was the ONLY one, but what she meant was that she was the only one that counted. Jenny Klos and Emma Mason were also on staff. They were both seniors and the only job they had was driving the Courtesy Shuttle (aka golf cart). They didn’t even do that right, according to Emma. They loaded it up with teenagers and drove around until they ran out of gas. Also, they both dressed like the word that is a synonym for “tramp” and starts with a “S.” (Skank?) Emma says she is not going to actually say the word, but it is still true. Those jeans shorts that are about three inches long and very low tank tops or halters—that Emma considers to qualify as the “S” word.

Emma says she was sort of bent out of shape about the girls. She states that she would LOVE to be paid $50 a day to drive a golf cart, but noooooooooooo, she has to do REAL work. She doesn’t think Jenny or Emma have touched a broom in their lives. They certainly wouldn’t sit out in the burning hot sun for two hours to keep the demo pilots on schedule. But Emma did hear Jeff Meyers tell Dave Mason that Emma didn’t really earn $50 a day. He certainly never had that conversation with Phill, so she was happy about that! Emma says that Phill told her the only reason Jenny and Emma were on “staff” at all was because they had to make their dads happy; they can’t afford to lose them and once they saw Phill’s daughter on staff, they wanted their daughters on staff too. Except that they don’t deserve to be on staff and Emma does, in her humble opinion! But Emma thinks Jeff Meyers knew how she was feeling because he even said something to her about not really having a choice, so she understands, but she still resents it.

Emma’s next paragraph complains about a guy who was there making a video of the event, and he was going to put Emma in it, but he didn’t because she doesn’t dress the way Jenny Klos and Emma Mason do. And, you guessed it, they were in the video. Yet more time wasted, Emma adds and, “Oh well, it’s all par for the course….”
(Pretty interesting comments for a child who claims she doesn’t want to be in the spotlight.)

Emma’s next paragraph goes on to say she is happy because Jeff has agreed to put V. a 5th grader on staff the next year, who will be Emma’s assistant.

Emma changes topics and says how she can tell her youth group friends, Jordan and Evan anything because they don’t listen, and then she talks about not finding a postcard to send “Lacey” in Americus, and talks about “Lacey’s” neat handwriting, and how her own handwriting is too loopy and swirly, and she says that “Lacey” is very pretty in her pictures, and then she signs off “Blessings and Love, Emma Kate.”

Letters to “Lacey” Part 6

Posted on February 9, 2015 by losingemma

Emma played soccer with the Jackson County Recreation Department in preschool. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

According to Emma, inbetween preschool and playing soccer at the Jackson County Recreation Department, her parents pressured her about college and we must have ruined her childhood! Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Part 6
The following day, Emma starts yet another letter to “Lacey”:

April 15, 2009

Emma starts off this letter telling “Lacey” about a dream she had about Jackson County Comprehensive High School. In her dream, she doesn’t want to go to Biology, so she goes with a friend to Gym instead. Emma says this is weird because she hates Gym, too. Everybody is playing basketball, but Coach Algard won’t let Emma play because he remembered that she will pass out if she does much of anything and in parentheses, she states that this is true-to-life. Then Emma goes on about riding the bus back to the main campus and she was glad she had run into her friend because no one had been nice to her that day and in parentheses writes “Just like my old school!” and she was so grateful that she was going to write a thank you note…….

(I feel the need to point out again that Emma was not the weak and frail little flower that she makes herself out to be, passing out at the drop of a hat. Here in the south, I guess we would say she got the vapors—-and for those of you that know me, I will pronounce it for you. There is no “R.”  Also, Emma was yet again the victim at school. No one was ever nice to her.)

April 20, 2009

Emma tells some cute stories about Sunday school, and complains about being “forced” into the Mother’s Day fashion show at church, and how she was always forced into it.
(One again the victim, Emma was asked to be in the fashion show, and the lady that asked her provided her with a top that came from her daughter’s shop. Emma also played the piano during the show. The next year, Emma volunteered to play the piano again. She loved all the attention she got playing music from Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera. There was another young man who played classical piano, and Phill and I were a little embarrassed when Emma monopolized the piano and this young man was standing there waiting to play.)

Emma talks about her friend Rob, and Rob’s little sister trying to get the two of them together and asks why does she seem to find cute little girls who idolize her and want to run her life at the same time? Is there any reason??? What did she do to deserve this??? Is God trying to show her that she really doesn’t need siblings???

Emma talks about her youth group meeting and how Jordan is mad at Rob, but they have no clue as to why, and how Jordan was in her own little world at the meeting with her itouch and didn’t even hear Rob calling her a loser. *SIGH* Emma says she has given up on understand her friends. It just doesn’t work.
Emma goes on to give an entertaining description of her Red Cross First Aid/CPR course that she has to take as part of her Health class. She claims to have had the weirdest instructor who kept telling them, “I can teach y’all this stuff, but ya’ll know half the time it ain’t gonna work.” She was also full of other encouraging sentiments like, “Them’s just pieces of plastic. Them’s dead…that one’s definitely dead…Dead on site!!” Emma claims the teacher yelled these things out randomly in the middle of CPR practice and also talked to the videos, “Look! Look! He done gone stuck a screw in ‘lectric box!! Everybody knows you don’t go sticking them things in ‘lectric boxes!! Course he’s gonna get shocked! He deserved it, too!…. He shoulda known she was havin’ a heart attack! Everybody knows that’s what happens fore they have a heart attack!!…Well what’s he thinkin’? He done gone and left his buddy in the middle of a river. Course he’s gonna fall in! Ain’t nobody there to help him neither.”
(My Goodness! I wish all my CPR classes had been this entertaining!)

Emma mentions getting a postcard from Arkansas that “Lacey” sent and talks about having to babysit and how she will have to watch the movie “Aquamarine” once again.

April 22, 2009

Emma talks about getting depressed again and seeing the little kids in the Sunday school class she assists with and says she can’t help but to think back to when she was that age and how they are seeing the world for the first time and they seem so content and happy. Emma says she honestly doesn’t have those memories. She remembers her parents talking to her about college when she hadn’t even started kindergarten. Everybody talks about how mature Emma was and how mature she is and she wonders if it is really as great as they make it out to be. She was listening to her friends talk, and whenever they talk about childhoods, Emma was always the responsible one. She feels like she had to grow up so fast, she never had time to be a kid. She was always thinking how she couldn’t wait to get into high school, to be a teenager, and now that she is here, she wonder’s what the big deal is. Then she looks at her future; her parents want her to finish high school in three years and get a head start on college. I apply for scholarships at least twice a week. She runs the youth group and her (adult) youth group leader admits Emma knows more about what’s going on that she (the leader) does. And through all this, Emma’s parents are behind her, pushing her to the limit and often well past it. Really, what are they so worried about? What’s the worst that could have happened….that she might have grown up to be normal?

April 23, 2009

Emma ends this letter with one sentence saying she is late getting it in the mail because she has been busy this week, and then adds “Write soon!.”

(Where is my violin? Teen angst and outright lies! I remember being a moody teenager myself, so I get that part, but her parents talking about college before Emma had started kindergarten? Let’s get real. A preschooler has no concept of what college actually is!
Emma may be referring to how when she was about 3-4 and would frequently stick a doll under her shirt and say, “Look, I’m having a baby!” and then perform the delivery and but the baby to her breast to nurse. Phill and I would ask Emma some questions and taught her how to reply. It went something like this:
Mom or Dad: And when are you going to have a baby, Emma?
Emma: After college. When I’m 30. And when I’m married.

Emma, sweetie, it was a joke. We weren’t putting pressure on you about college! Sorry if we scarred you for life!

Phill and I never had any intention of Emma finishing high school in 3 years. We knew that some homeschoolers were able to start college their senior year of high school and count it as both high school and college, and that was sort of a way homeschoolers got around needing a high school diploma to start college. We had thought Emma might like to to that when the time came, but we were not trying to rush her through high school.
After 10th grade, Phill and I considered letting Emma start college. Since she was interested in nursing, we looked into Gwinnett Technical College and let Emma go over and take a test to see if she could get in. Emma was the one who was dying to start college. 10th grade had been a pretty lousy year of Emma sitting in front of a computer for school everyday. We really did not want her to do school on line again. When she passed the entry test to Gwinnett Tech, we were definitely interested until the college told us Emma would have to take the GED to be allowed into college. I did some research and talked to other people, and Phill and I were not comfortable with Emma getting into college via that route. We’d heard too many negative things about having a GED instead of a diploma, so we decided Gwinnett Tech was out. Of course, Emma blamed me for not letting her start college. Oh, that evil mother, again!
As for the youth group, Emma definitely had some control issues. She liked running things, and she liked being in control. If they planned an event and she didn’t hear back from some of the kids as to who was going, she would call to find out. Emma wasn’t forced into this position. She kind of took over.
I have to laugh at the last few sentences. We had gone to a meeting at JCCHS and one of the speakers talked about all the scholarships out there and how one young woman applied for so many and ended up getting something like 80 scholarships. At first, I looked around at scholarships and encouraged Emma to apply for a couple that I thought she might be eligible for, but I gave up on that after about a week. You could not force Emma to do anything she did not want to do, and it was not worth the bother. At one time, Emma wanted to go to medical school and to go to Yale, and I thought if she was serious, she’d better be looking for scholarships, but I wasn’t going to be a Sandi McCravy and do it for her. Much to her credit, Sandi, (Sandra Brooks McCravy) applied for every scholarship for Derek that she could get her hands on and it paid off. Some of them were very small, like a couple hundred dollars, but hey, there’s a textbook! I was not near as dedicated to scholarships as Sandi was.
And who knew? Phill and I pushed Emma to her limit and well past it? Really? I guess I must have blocked out that part. While we did require she do her school work, we didn’t push Emma into anything.
What was the worst that could happen? That Emma might have brown up to be normal? I’m not even going to comment on that one right now. I’m sort of wondering how mom gets all the credit/blame for everything wrong in her life, but no credit for everything right? Oh, that’s right. Somebody has to be the bad guy.

From about 2nd grade up until she started high school, Emma said she was going to be a pediatrician when she grew up. She’d read a children’s book about Dr. Ben Carson, and that inspired her. I was amazed that she held on to that idea for as long as she did. Around 10th grade Emma was leaning towards nursing, but then with all the wonderful therapy she had, she decided to major in counseling. After what’s been going on in the news, I couldn’t help but wonder if Emma had ever thought about being a news anchor. I hear there might be an opening for Brian Williams’ job! Just a thought.)

Letters to “Lacey” Part 5, Medieval Times, Atlanta

Posted on February 6, 2015 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma and Kayla Benifield Weaver at Medieval Times, Atlanta 2009, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Roey

Part 5, Medieval Times, Atlanta

On April 9th, 2009, Emma started another 4 paged, typewritten letter to “Lacey.”
After Emma’s mother so cruelly would not let her go with Kayla (Kayla Benifield Weaver) and her grandparents to Dollywood because she was too far behind in her schoolwork, Roy and Velda Benifield, Kayla’s grandparents from Martin, Ga, offered to take Emma with them to Medieval Times, a dinner show and tournament in Lawrenceville, Ga. This letter is mostly about that night and is a lot of great story telling. I don’t know if it is all true or if some of it is somewhat exaggerated. Emma came home that night, and told me in great detail about the whole evening, but when I read through this letter a few years ago, it seemed a little different than what Emma had told me that night, so I’m guessing this letter is a little fluffed up to make good story telling. I’m not going to go into this letter as thoroughly as I have with some of them because it just doesn’t matter. I will share a few parts so you can get a feel for it.

Emma talks about how she and Kayla are polar opposites because Kayla wants to stay in the crowd and watch people make fools of themselves, but Emma wants to jump right up there with them. Emma talks about a knighting ceremony where you could go up and kneel before the king and be knighted, except no one wanted to do it when they asked for volunteers, and Kayla muttered, “No you don’t!” and well, of course Emma did. She walked up on stage, which Emma calls her 2nd home and knelt before King Phillipe and was now the Lady of the Castle, and Kayla was totally and completely mortified to have to claim Emma. Emma says, honestly, you’d think she’d become a delinquent instead of a Lady.

Emma talks about going into the dungeon and how Kayla could not read the framed sheets of information, so Emma read them out loud and then talks about how after she read them, people around them clapped for her. Emma says she’s fine with people appreciating her drama when she is on stage, but was a little embarrassed to have an audience and not even know it.

After walking out of the dungeon, Kayla’s grandmother was there, waiting to ambush them with the camera and then in her lovely Southern Drawl declared rather loudly, “Girls! There ya’ll are! Have Ya’ll found ya’llselves any handsome boys to get ya’lls picture taken with?” Emma states that she was mortified and Kayla was ready to crawl into a hole.

Emma writes more on April 13 and April 14 and then finishes the letter.

Just a quick note about Kayla. Kayla was also involved in the Drama department at her high school, so I just can’t imagine her being as reserved and “mortified” as Emma makes her out to be.

Part 6 coming up next!

Today’s Thought

Posted on January 30, 2015 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma, learning about repelling from Phill’s partner, Carl, who, along with his wife Connie, replled into a lot of caves.

If you’ve been following the blog, I’ve been going through Emma’s letters to “Lacey” the friend she claimed was raped and attempted suicide. “Lacey” was the supposed catalyst for Emma’s repressed memories of being molested by a priest when she was 12 years old. Emma told many other lies about “Lacey” and her family.

This past week, I’ve had some interesting conversations with some people who just happened to be put in my path. One couple, whom I’d just met, found out I was divorced and then, without even knowing about Emma, started telling me about the problems they’d had with their daughter when she was a teen. Their daughter is about 10 years older than Emma, and turned out ok, but they had some rough years. Then, the husband said to me that they even had friends who’d gotten divorced because of the problems with their own daughter. Bingo! I was just surprised to be having this conversation, and these people are telling me these things before I’d even told them anything about my situation.

Today I was thinking about how when the church sent a so-called impartial attorney to interview Emma about the molestation. At this point we should have had an attorney, but perhaps I was trusting and naive. (I will write out the whole story on the investigation at some point, but for right now, it’s not a big priority.) This attorney wanted to question Emma without me present. Phill was at work, and that was probably another mistake. I should have had Emma questioned with an attorney present, and the appointment should have been made when Phill and I both could have been there.

Emma was sixteen at the time, and since our deacon (a woman) who’d been very supportive of Emma was there with us, I agreed to let the attorney question Emma without me being present and went outside with our priest (who had also come over) so that the attorney could talk to Emma. It did not go well, and it sounded like the attorney was more than being an objective interviewer, but was rather adversarial. After she was finished, Emma came running out to me, crying, saying she hated the woman. Emma was obviously upset, and everyone quietly left. When I later talked to our deacon, she told me that she did not like the woman attorney either.

Partly, I feel like this woman could not have been objective as she was hired by the church and she was a member of the church. That seems a little bit like conflict of interest, but that’s just my opinion.

What I was thinking about today though, was how after the attorney had left, Emma told me she’d turned on the recorder on her phone and recorded most of the interview. I was proud of Emma for having the presence of mind to do that. Not that anything became of the recording, and I really only listened to a few minutes of it. Emma had her phone under the table, maybe in her pocket, I can’t remember now, and the sound quality wasn’t that great. I find it interesting that Emma accused me of pushing her, shoving her, kicking her foot into the corner of the cabinet, hitting her with the handle of a pot (still haven’t quite figured out that one!) and yet there is no proof of those things. Emma claimed I went into a rage several times and then blocked it out. Phill never saw me do any of those things. There is no proof. I just thought it was interesting that Emma never thought to record these incidents, especially since Emma’s cell phone was practically another appendage of her body. It was either in her pocket or in her hand.

Hmmmmmm… Perhaps if something seems too bizarre to be true………….

I am thankful to have survived all this with my sense of humor intact. Some of Emma’s lies have been downright laughable, and I would just like to ask her what she was thinking when she said them. There’s a cute little song that’s very popular right now and it always makes me smile and think of Emma. I just want to say, “Hey, Emma! Your Lips are Moving.”

I will continue with the next letter to “Lacey” coming up. Sorry for the delay. I have had a busy couple of weeks! Thank you all for support. I will keep writing!

Letters to “Lacey” – Preface (UPDATED 01/06/20115)

Posted on December 27, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com
Thank you to my readers for your support and please continue to share the blog with others.

Letters to Lacey –Preface (How Emma ended up in on-line school, and connecting with the penpal she claimed was raped and attempted suicide.)

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

After five years of homeschooling, we decided to quit and put Emma in public school. I’m still a huge fan of homeschooling, but for Emma, it was probably a mistake. At first, I thought we did everything pretty well. In addition to school, Emma was involved in many, many activities. I wanted to make sure that Emma was well “socialized.” Over the years while homeschooling, Emma was involved in an arts program and took other homeschool group classes, she was on a kayaking team, in a homeschool chorus, church choir, church newsletter team, Sunday School, piano lessons, softball, a knitting group, a neighborhood bible study, a church book club, was a church acolyte, sang with the Gwinnett Young Singers under Lynn Urda and got to sing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, and we also went on homeschool field trips to places like the UGA Vet school, WSB TV/Radio in Atlanta, Coca Cola, the William Harris Homestead, the Capital, etc.

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends. To Emma’s left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

Homeschooling started out great. Emma and I both enjoyed it. Seeing your child get excited about learning is an amazing experience. If Emma wanted to spend extra time on a subject, it was no problem. As a parent, I saw how so many things could turn into a learning opportunity. We would be out in public somewhere and see something that brought to mind something we learned in school. Or we would hear of something and want to know more about it, so Emma would do some research. For example, one birthday or Christmas, my sister sent Emma a prayer box necklace, and we were curious, so Emma looked up the history of prayer boxes and shared with me what she found. Thank goodness for Google!

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor’s Mansion in Atlanta.

I probably should have stopped homeschooling in middle school, as after 2 or three years, it got more and more difficult. If I left the room, Emma kept books hidden in the school room, so she would pull out a book and read instead of doing her school work. We could have easily been done with school by 2pm every day, but Emma started dragging things out to 5pm, and sometimes later. I didn’t like doing school in the afternoon because I was always very tired in the afternoons and felt better in the mornings. I didn’t know at the time what was wrong, but I later found I had a medical condition causing the fatigue. School was Monday through Fridays, but sometimes Emma would drag her feet so much that we would have to do school on Saturdays. Part of the problem may have been that I had a child with a higher IQ than I have (I don’t know for sure about my IQ, but I’m guessing it is not as high as Emma’s!) and that Emma had no respect for Phill and I as authority figures. That may have been our mistake. We were a tight little family and we did everything together. Phill and I probably shouldn’t have included Emma in on so much, but we often treated her more as an equal in the family rather than the child. Because we both adored our daughter, her wishes often overrode our own, so yes, she was spoiled, but I reasoned that all kids seem to be spoiled nowadays.

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

In addition to reading when she should have been doing her school work, Emma did things like lying and cheating. If Emma needed to re-do some math problems, I would write the pages and the problem numbers on the board, and we would recheck them later. Emma started erasing the board, hoping I would forget about the work she needed to re-do.

I had to hide my teacher’s manual, so that Emma couldn’t cheat. One time, she hid one of my books, and I’m not sure as to the reasoning behind that. I guess she was trying to get out of math class that day.

I think I’ve mentioned Emma’s affinity for sweets, and how we would have to lock up things like chocolate chips, marshmallows, etc. or Emma would steal them. I would be all set to bake and not have what I needed because Emma had eaten them all. We also had to lock up the Halloween candy, and even with that, Emma discovered where the key was and I found dozens of candy wrappers in her room. One year, at the end of the school year, I was cleaning up our school room and found dozens of candy wrappers hidden out there between books, under things, and crammed in anywhere Emma could hide them that I might not look. She had a lot of arts and crafts that she used both for fun and for school, and these were things that I didn’t bother with much, so she knew where to hide things so I wouldn’t see them. It seemed funny to me that she was too lazy to bother to throw all the wrappers away. She could have easily hidden them in a piece of paper and thrown it in the garbage a few at a time, or even shoved them deep, down in the trash while I wasn’t looking or when I was outside or not home.

Emma’s attitude also soured, and after hearing a clip on the radio about a news anchor whose mic was on when she was talking about her sister-in-law, calling her a “control-freak” and “micromanaging,” those became Emma’s two favorite phrases to describe her mother. She called me these things over and over again. Emma decided it was time to challenge my authority as her teacher, and all of a sudden, I was the idiot who knew nothing, and she was the teen who knew it all. She seemed to think my whole goal in homeschooling was to make her life miserable.

Because I couldn’t trust Emma to get her work done, I ended up being her babysitter or maybe “warden” is a better word. I couldn’t leave the school room to do other things because Emma would stop doing her work. Homeschooling took a lot of time, for me as a parent, but then it became endless. It was sad to me because I knew so many kids at the arts program who were homeschooling and did not have the attitude that Emma had. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I enjoyed homeschooling with Emma the first few years. I think I learned as much as she did, but when she was supposed to becoming more mature and independent and able to do her assignments on her own, without me there at every step, Emma just didn’t do it. Maybe it was her way of rebelling, I don’t know. I just knew homeschooling wasn’t working anymore, and it was time to quit. I felt like a homeschool failure, but I knew I had seen many kids in the arts program quit to attend public school. Some parents worried they couldn’t deal with the difficult subjects like biology and algebra. Other parents, like me, couldn’t deal with the nasty teenage attitude.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School

High School seemed like a good time for a fresh start, and we enrolled Emma in Jackson County Comprehensive High School in Jefferson Ga. I remember, later on, a friend who knew Emma personally commenting to me that Emma seemed to have a fascination or obsession with sex. Emma was always commenting on the kids at school being sexually active. Sometime the summer before Emma started her freshman year at JCCHS, we’d seen an article in the local paper about the number of kids in Jackson county who were sexually active. It seems like I remember reading that 70% of the kids in high school had had sex. Once Emma saw that, it must have stuck with her and to her, everyone (except Emma, who would later buy herself a purity ring) she knew was having sex. Emma talked about the kids at school having sex a LOT. If it wasn’t sex, it was about someone being pregnant or thinking they might be pregnant.

Before school started, Emma, along with all the other freshmen, had to ride the bus to school and find their classes in an effort to make their first day easier. If you’ve read my earlier posts, Emma claimed that on the bus she sat next to a girl who was a freshman for the 2nd time and who had a 4 year old. This turned out not to be true. Emma also claimed that there were about 10 pregnant freshman girls, but later when I checked with our neighbor who was a P.E. teacher at the school, Coach Cora Andrews (Dr. Cora Andrews), she told me there were only two pregnancies that year at the school.

About the first month or two, Emma LOVED school. She loved riding the bus with three girls in our neighborhood who were all sophomores and one neighbor who lived in Quail Crossing, a subdivision close to our Deer Creek Subdivision, who was also a freshman. I remember Emma coming home after a week or so of school and defiantly telling me, “You could never make me homeschool again!”

After a couple of months, Emma’s tone changed and she wanted to go back to homeschooling. She hated school and had nothing nice to say about the girls on the bus that she started out calling her “friends.” All of a sudden, the stories changed and these 4 girls were all having sex, drinking, doing drugs, stealing alcohol from their parents, etc. Emma no longer called them friends, but referred to them as acquaintances. She made up stories about one the brother of one of the girls who lived on our street, claiming that he had been arrested for pot possession for the second time, but the parents didn’t know. She complained about how much time was wasted in class, and how much time was wasted riding the bus. One day, she gave me a blow by blow account of her day to tell me how little work she actually did. One day Emma got very angry with me for not pulling her out of Jackson County Comprehensive High School. I will never forget her screaming at me how it was my fault because I “gave up on her.”

Besides the “acquaintances” Emma rode the bus with, she had nothing nice to say about anyone on the bus. She claimed that kids smoked on the bus and the bus driver didn’t notice. She claimed that drugs were sold on the bus. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you’ll remember that Emma claimed she was drug searched when a neighbor boy turned in her name along with her “acquaintances” because he had a grudge against one of the girls. (This story turned out not to be true, and I confirmed it with one of the school administrators, Kendra Phillips, who told me that if Emma had been drug searched, Ms. Phillips would have been present for it. I also checked with some of the girls Emma rode the bus with, and they never saw anyone selling drugs on the bus.) After reading a Reader’s Digest article on teenagers having drug parties, where they took medication from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw everything into a bowl and then took handfuls of pills, Emma claimed that these parties went on at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, and she mentioned one of the girls, in particular, as a participant in these parties. (This is the same young lady Emma made up the story of having an abortion that fall, and then at the end of the year claimed she thought she was pregnant again.) Also, one day we saw a news clip about a boy in another part of the country who wanted to dress as a girl, do his hair, wear makeup, etc. Shortly after that, Emma claimed there were boys at school who dressed as girls, wore makeup and pantyhose, etc. I remember I just sort of blew this off thinking Emma didn’t have her facts straight. JCCHS had a fairly strict dress code, so I couldn’t imagine this going on, but Emma insisted. It wasn’t something I cared enough about to investigate, so I never did.

From what I could tell, Emma’s “acquaintances” still thought of her as a friend. They tried to invite Emma to do things with them, but Emma frequently refused. She didn’t want to associate with these girls. I didn’t think about it until later when a friend pointed out to me that Emma seemed to always think of herself as superior to everyone else. All the kids at school were drug users, having sex, having abortions, drinking, etc., but my daughter was the “good girl.” She complained that her “aquaintances” made fun of her for attending church, being involved in the youth group, being a goody two-shoes, being smart, etc. She also claimed they made fun of her for being smart, the way she talked, the way she dressed, said she had a big nose etc., etc., etc. If most of us look back to high school, we can remember some teasing, and maybe even some bullying, but these girls tried to befriend Emma, and I have to wonder if any or all of Emma’s accusations were true. I can imagine some teasing going on, but the girl Emma claimed to have had an abortion and then possibly a 2nd pregnancy (in addition to taking drugs and drinking), was nothing but kind to Emma when Emma started public school. She was very helpful in explaining what to expect, what she would need, telling her about classes, teachers, etc.

Emm’s old lady shirt. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

One particular complaint I remember was about a shirt Emma wore. (See picture.) Phill had picked up this shirt at Sam’s or Costco, thinking Emma would like it. I don’t remember if we just gave it to her or saved it for her birthday, but in any event, it was very similar to what we saw lots of teen girls wearing, and it looked cute on her.

One day, Emma came home complaining that her “acquaintances” had made fun of her wearing this shirt. I asked how that could be as it looked pretty much like what all the other girls wore. Emma said that they told her that hers looked like an old lady shirt. Ok, dear readers. If you are familiar with this style, would someone please explain to me how Emma’s shirt looks any different from the dozens and dozens of this style that I have seen on teen girls?

I had tried to encourage Emma to get involved in school activities, and offered to take her to music lessons if she wanted to join the band. Since Emma played the piano, I knew she could easily learn another instrument and get into the band since I had learned a 2nd instrument in high school so that I could play in the jazz band. At least one, and maybe two of Emma’s “acquaintances” on the bus were in the band, and one of the girls had told me about the band trips. Remembering my own band trips, I thought this was something Emma would enjoy, but she claimed that the band trips were known for drinking, drugs, and kids having sex on the bus. She was definitely not interested.

The Drama Department at JCCHS

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts. Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma did get into Drama I, and she loved it. She hated the kids who were just in there because they had to take an elective and were not serious about Drama. Emma tried out for the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman and got the lead. I remember meeting her teacher, Bonnie Roberts, and Mrs. Roberts told me about Emma walking into the audition and when she spoke, “Meryl Streep’s voice came out!” Emma has a great voice that projects well.

Emma was in her element once she found Drama. She absolutely loved it and loved Mrs. Roberts. Like everything else, Emma began telling stories about the Drama group. I don’t even remember all the stories now, but one was that all the girls who worked on the crew were lesbians. I didn’t really buy it, and I wondered if Emma came up with this story from listening to Neal Boortz. (Phill and I were huge Neal Boortz fans, so our radio was always on whether at home or in the car, and Emma grew up listening to his program. In retrospect, I wonder if Emma lacked the maturity for this kind of program.) Several times on his program, we’d heard Neal talk about Lugs (Lesbians Until Graduation), girls who were experimenting with their sexuality or who just took on the roll of being a lesbian because they didn’t find anyone at their high school they wanted to date. According to Emma, ALL the girls on the drama crew were lesbians and I remember her talking about two off them being a couple. Whether or not this is true, who knows? It wasn’t something I cared about one way or the other.

An Early Accusation of Sexual Assault

One evening, when I picked Emma up after rehearsal, she was very upset. She claimed that she went backstage for something, and that the male lead, a young man named Johnny Boddie, a boy Emma described as very arrogant, had tried to kiss her. Emma told me she slapped him and ran away, and then she begged me not to tell Phill about the attempted kiss. At first I questioned Emma about the story. What was she doing when she went back stage? What was Johnny doing? What did they talk about? Why did she think he was trying to kiss her? Was he just reaching for something that happened to be in her proximity? Later on I wondered if this Emma’s first attempt at claiming sexual assault? This would have been about a year and half before Emma alleged to have been sexually assaulted by the priest. Was this a practice run or her dress rehearsal for the next big show? Later, when I go through Emma’s e-mails, you will see how she describes the story in a much more sinister fashion to her pen-pal, “Lacey.”

Emma was adamant that Johnny had tried to kiss her, although she never really gave me in details of how the event occurred. If that were the case, I told Emma that I thought she handled it just fine, but of course, I didn’t keep too many secrets from Phill, so I told him the story. A couple of weeks later, we were leaving church, and I don’t remember what we were talking about, but Phill brought up the story of Emma slapping Johnny Boddie, and Emma was FURIOUS with me for telling her dad. When I contacted Johnny Boddie and asked him if I could ask him a few questions about his time with Emma at JCCHS, he stated that his communications with Emma were minimal and that they had worked on one play together. He stated he had no recollection whatsoever of any conversations over topics other than the play or school work, so I never really got to ask him if he had attempted to kiss Emma. He ended his e-mail with a comment about how I should respect my daughter’s privacy or some such thing. One of Emma’s former friends told me that while Johnny was pompous, he was not aggressive. I have to admit, from his e-mail, he sounded pretty much just as Emma and her friends described him. I’m sure if he’d been disciplined for attempting to sexually assault another student, he might have felt a little differently about Emma’ right to privacy.

Emma told other interesting stories about Johnny Boddie, who was a junior when Emma was a freshman. Emma claimed that Johnny was engaged, which I thought sounded a little bizarre for a 16 year old in this day and time, and I did question her about it, but there again, I wasn’t going to go up to this 11th grade kid and ask him about the engagement. Then, that fall, not too long into the school year, Emma said that Johnny’s fiancé had moved away, and although he was a notorious flirt and cheated on his fiancé, he was still engaged. Again, I was not interested enough to investigate this story.

When the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman was put on at JCCHS, there was a scene where Johnny was shirtless, and it looked like he was pigeon chested. I don’t know if Emma had never heard of or seen this type of deformity before, but after the play, she brought it up and told me that the reason Johnny’s chest sank it was because he had been run over by a car when he was a child. Ummm, ok. I didn’t quite believe it, but I didn’t exactly give the kid a medical examination to check, so I let that one go.

Lies about Losing the Drama Competition

Jackson County Comprehensive High School’s Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma’s freshman year.

The drama department performed Metamorphosis for a district competition, and if they had won, they would have gone on to state. First, the play was put on at the high school during school, and then two nights for the parents. Sadly, the attendance was pretty poor, but Mrs. Roberts and the drama department did a wonderful job. Phill was working on the nights the play was put on, so he went to the dress rehearsals and video recorded the play for Mrs. Roberts and made copies. (Maybe one day he will give me a copy.) By recording the production for Mrs. Roberts, Phill was able to see the play, and I went to both shows.

Mrs. Roberts had a photographer taking photos of the cast, and the parents could buy a disc of the photos, so of course I did. I remember asking the photographer about the photos and she asked who my child was. At that time, Emma was going by Emma Kate Roey, instead of her usual Emma, so I told the photographer, and she said, “Oh! She’s the lead!” I remember being surprised because I really didn’t know anything about the play and while it sounded like Emma had a big part in it, I certainly didn’t know she was the lead. She did a wonderful job though, and I was very proud of her.

I don’t remember where the competition was, but I had to have Emma at the school early one Saturday to board the bus with the other drama kids to go to their competition. I was nervous and excited for her, and knew Emma would have a great time.

That evening, when I picked Emma up, she was not happy. Her group had not done well. Emma told me that another school had tampered with their sound equipment and ended up messing up the whole show. I really didn’t quite understand what she was saying, but according to Emma, another school had messed up their performance and they didn’t get a chance to do it over, etc., etc. I know these things have rules, and I wasn’t there, but the long and short of it was that they lost the competition. It really wasn’t until a few months ago that I contacted Bonnie Roberts to ask her about this story. Surprise, surprise! There was no tampering or vandalism as Emma claimed. Mrs. Roberts told me that her disc was not formatted properly for the equipment that they had to use at the competition. It was pretty simple really, but I guess Emma needed someone to blame for losing, so she made up another story.

Emma Complains of Racial Favoritism at JCCHS

Phill used to joke that Emma was a little racist. Emma could be very judgmental about other cultures. Emma frequently complained about reverse discrimination at her school. She thought the school showed favoritism to the black students and that the black students got away with stuff that the white students would not get away with. It’s been a few years, and her complaints were so petty, that I don’t even remember what they were. I’m not sure where this attitude came from unless it was just from our quiet life and Emma growing up in Jackson County, Ga. Phill grew up in Brick Town New Jersey, around different cultures, and I grew up overseas as well as in the U.S., moving every 2-3 years, so we both had been around a lot of different kinds of people.

One day, Emma complained about another 9th grader, a black young man, who was in Emma’s drama class. Emma told me that this young man accused her of being a racist. I have no idea what led up to the accusation, but Emma complained about this boy several times over the course of the semester. She made it very clear she did not like him at all. I remember her telling me this particular story of him saying to her, “You don’t like black people.”
She told me that she replied, “I don’t like SOME black people. I don’t like SOME white people.”
She also told me that she said, “I prefer to judge people on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin.” And then she exclaimed, “Mom! He didn’t even get that I was quoting Martin Luther King!”

Truth or Fiction? I’ll let my readers guess for themselves if this story even occurred or was it another one of Emma’s dramatizations.

ROTC

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Before school started, Emma had to pick her electives. In addition to Drama, she had to pick another elective. I was very surprised when she chose ROTC. My daughter? Emma was not the military type. When she explained her choice to me, she told me that the period she had open for an elective her only choices were Drama or ROTC, and she said, “And Mom, I suck at dance!” Emma didn’t have a lot of experience with dance, but I thought she could have taken it and learned something, but Emma was the type, if she wasn’t good at something, she didn’t want to do it. It didn’t matter to me, and ROTC sounded pretty neat, so I hoped she would like it, but she didn’t.

ROTC brought pretty much the same complaints as Emma had about the rest of school. Sex, drugs, drinking… Emma claimed her platoon leader was mean. (This was the young man that she said accused her and her friends of having drugs on the bus, causing them to be drug searched.) Emma claimed that one of the ROTC girls in her class had a baby, and I found out later from another girl who was in ROTC with Emma that no one had a baby in ROTC that year. This classmate also told me that if you had a baby, you were out of ROTC and couldn’t rejoin.

While in ROTC, Emma told a great story (mentioned earlier) about a girl named Kristin who lived next door to us with her mother and stepfather, and how Kristin would get so nervous when she had to do presentation that she ran to the bathroom to throw up. The ROTC instructor sent Emma to check on Kristin, and Emma told me how funny it was and reenacted the tale of Kristin with her head over the toilet, laughing and saying that she didn’t know why she got so nervous and then would throw up again. Great story, but one of Emma’s ROTC classmates told me that it was just that, a story. This young lady told me that Kristin was a good speaker and later became a platoon leader.

Emma’s second semester, she had to take P.E. and Health, so she didn’t get to take Drama that semester. She was very unhappy at school, and never made any friends in 9th grade. She never invited anyone over, and the only time she was invited to someone’s home was along with some other girls to work on an English project. If you’ve read my earlier posts, that was the night she also went with this classmate to the church youth group at Walnut Fork Baptist Church, Hoschton. I won’t repeat the story again here, but Emma lied about her classmate, her classmate’s family, what went on at the youth group, etc.

One of Emma’s classmates told me, “Honestly I think Emma just really wanted attention and she wasn’t getting it from anybody but you. Any attention is better than no attention for her whether it be good or bad. She got absolutely no attention at all at school. People didn’t really get along with her there.”

Emma told me she couldn’t try out for the play that 2nd semester because it was only for the kids in the drama class, so she was disappointed about that since it was the only class she liked. Emma became more and more miserable and started throwing up more and more. She missed so much school that we had to pull her out and she finished 9th grade on line. It in her on-line English class where Emma was paired up with a young lady whom I will call “Lacey” who was another 9th grader from a different part of the state.

As I understood it, Emma had an English project where each child was assigned a pen-pal, and “Lacey” was Emma’s. They were supposed to write letters, but other than that I don’t remember how it worked. They may have had to copy their letters and turn them in to the English instructor. Emma got really into the letters and complained that “Lacey” did not write as often as she was supposed to.

Emma seemed to really enjoy the pen-pal relationship, and when the class was over, the two girls continued to e-mail and text each other. Emma began making up stories about “Lacey” and her family. Some of these stories were as follows:

Emma claimed “Lacey” had been molested as a child and volunteered with her church helping other kids who’d been molested. (Lie)

Emma claimed that “Lacey’s” mother had breast cancer (true) and was hospitalized and nearly died two or three times. (“Lacey’s” mother did have breast cancer, but was treated as an outpatient and never required hospitalization.)

The reason “Lacey” had to go to public school in 10th grade was because her mother was too sick from cancer to homeschool her anymore. (Lie. See above.)

When “Lacey” was in 10th grade, Emma claimed “Lacey’s” periods were so bad that she frequently had to leave school. (I never verified this one, but would be willing to bet it’s not true.)

And then, a few months after starting the pen-pal relationship, on Dec. 19, 2009, Emma’s birthday, Emma went to her church youth group, and when Phill and I picked her up, she claimed that she had received a call from “Lacey” who was at the ER near her NW Georgia home, after she’d been raped in her home during a Christmas get-together. For Emma’s 16th birthday, we’d planned on going out to eat, but because Phill was sick, he asked her if we could postpone. Emma was all involved in her youth group, but didn’t really have any friends to invite to a party, so it was a pretty low key birthday, and later Emma would complain to Suzie McGarvey, (North Georgia Counseling Associates, Formerly of Lanier Counseling) that her birthday wasn’t special enough. This was also the birthday where I’d taken Emma shopping several times and spent well over $400 (I want to say $460, but I can’t remember the exact total at the moment.) on her, a good bit more than we usually spent for a birthday or Christmas.

I keep thinking back to the comment made by one of Emma’s classmates, how she didn’t get any attention at school. Was the rape story because Emma did not get enough attention on her 16h birthday?

In any event, I will share with you some of the e-mails that Emma wrote to “Lacey.”

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged Alicia Yearwood, Applied Psycholocgical Health http://appliedpsychhealth.com/, Armstrong University, Bishop Foley Beach, Blair Weaver, Bonnie Roberts, Brooks Family, Brooks Family originally of Walton County, Candace Whitman, Demorest, Derek McCravy, Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett, Dr. Genie Burnett, Dr. Richard Born, elec, Electric Drone Society, Elizabeth G. Burnett, Emily Kirby, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Roey, Fayette Flyers, Fr. George Ivey, Georgia Board of Examiners of Psychologists, Georgia Gwinnett College, Greg McCravy, Gwinnett County Police Department, Gwinnett Young Singers, Heather Thompson, Hodges Hobbies, HODGES HOBBIES ALL ELECTRIC FLY-IN 2014, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, http://adots.org/about/bishop-and-staff/, http://dfcs.dhs.georgia.gov/jackson-county-dfcs-office, http://gwinnettyoungsingers.com/, http://mylifeinscriptures.blogspot.com/2013_06_01_archive.html, http://scenicrc.us/, http://www.electricdrones.com/, http://www.fayetteflyers.com/, http://www.hodgeshobbies.com/, http://www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org/, http://www.jackson.k12.ga.us/jcchs/index.php/2012-09-02-18-26-21/24-faculty-bios/327-b-roberts, http://www.laniercounseling.com/index.html, http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff, http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com/, http://www.rcflightdeck.com/event_details.cfm?event_id=3139&i=0, http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com/, http://www.tripletreeaerodrome.com/joe-nall-week.php, http://www.wright.edu/, https://www.facebook.com/HodgesHobbies, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brooks-Family/93421367163, https://www.piedmont.edu/pc/index.php, Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Jackson County DFCS, Jackson County Sheriff's Office, JCCHS, Jefferson City Schools, Jefferson High School, Joe Nall, Joe Nall Week, Johnathan McCravy, Kathryn Brooks, Kayla Benified Weaver, Kayla Benifield Weaver, Kendra Phillips, Lanier Counseling, Lynn Urda, Manna Treatement, Manna Treatment & Counseling, Mary Zimmerman, Metamorphosis, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Paulette Ivey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Piedmont College, Rachelle Hutchinson, rcgroups.com, Sandi McCravy, Sandra Brooks McCravy, Sandy McCravy, Scenic RC Flyers, SEFF, SEFF Week: April 20th - 26th 2015, seffweek.com, Social Empowerment Center, Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Suzie McGarvey, Tamara Hardy, Tamesha, William Griffin Brooks, Wright State University, www.armstrong.edu/, www.peachford.com

Emma Turns 21 Years Old!

Posted on December 19, 2014 by losingemma

0

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claims to still have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma Katherine Roey
Born: Dec. 19, 1993
6lbs. 12oz.
7:34 AM
19 1/2″ long

Emma Turns 21!
(NOTE: It was important to me to write on Emma’s birthday, even though I had a terrible headache, so if you read this post on Dec. 19th, I have gone back an re-written, edited it, etc., with a little clearer head, but again, I was in a hurry this morning, Dec. 20th, so I may need to do some more.)
Twenty-one years ago today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Wow. Things certainly didn’t turn out anything like I expected! I wanted to spend the day writing about that wonderful day that Emma came into the world, but I’ve been busy with work and with the holidays, so I’m just going to share a few thoughts, and maybe one day later, I’ll write about Emma’s birth. In any event, I hope Emma has a wonderful 21st birthday. Maybe her dad got her an expensive piece of jewelry that she wanted, a new iphone, or the hair removal laser treatments she wanted if she didn’t get them when she graduated high school. Maybe she’s out with her other mom, Sandra Brooks McCravy, or if her friends Kayla Benifield Weaver (and husband Blair) or Abbey Benito are home from Armstrong College in Savannah, Ga., and Anderson University, Anderson, S.C., respectively, and Emma will get to socialize a bit. I wonder if Emma is having her favorite cheesecake instead of birthday cake. Phill used to make banana pudding for my birthday, and we’d always pick up a cheesecake for Emma’s. She much preferred that over birthday cake.
I was thinking about the young people I know that are around Emma’s age. I think most of us will agree that 21 is not grown up. Most of us didn’t feel grown up until we were about 30 and most 21 year olds are still living off mom and dad. I do know a couple of young people who went through some technical programs, got jobs, apartments, etc., and are living on their own, but not many. A lot of kids, like Emma, lack the maturity to do so, and some kids are working on career paths that take much longer, so they are supported by mom and dad while they work on their degrees.
They say a mother’s work is never done. I’ve certainly found that to be true! As a mother, I’m going to hold Emma accountable for her actions. I gave her the opportunity to keep this between her dad and me, and I would have taken down the blog, but Emma chose not to take that path, so I will continue researching, investigating, taking notes, and writing the blog. There are many things I haven’t written about because I don’t want Emma to know everything I know. Some information I should probably hold on to for a while, and I will write about it when the time is right. You can bet though, as long as Emma is going around lying, and accusing me of crimes, I’m going to be behind the scenes collecting information.
Who expects their child to grow up and do horrible things and hurt people? Sadly, I’ve met many parents who’ve been through something similar with their own children, and as one mom said to me, “I didn’t raise him that way.” I certainly agree. Phill and I didn’t raise Emma to be a liar. Of course we didn’t even know how much Emma had lied about until much, much later.
Emma’s dad refuses to discuss Emma with me and has no answer as to why she claims I poisoned her with DDT. In fact, I can only contact Phill on matters related to the divorce or he has threatened to block me from e-mails and texts. Kind of pathetic, I know. Phill knows how much Emma has lied, and he knows she’s lying about being abused, being sexually molested, and about being poisoned with DDT. He knows about all the lies I’ve mentioned in the blog. When Emma made up crazy stories about her friend, Kayla Benifield Weaver, Kayla’s grandparents, and Kayla’s mom, Sheree Barwise, I told Phill about them at the time, so he’s aware of Emma’s long history of lying. She’s daddy’s little girl though, and he’s going to stay in denial as long as he can.
This blog isn’t about Phill though. As, I said earlier, I intend to hold Emma accountable. If she wants to be estranged from her mother, that is her choice. I’ve talked to many parents of estranged children. Some of these kids grew up in difficult circumstances, and others, like Emma, had pretty uneventful childhoods with two parents who loved them, but for whatever reason, needed some kind of drama and turned their parents into the villains in their lives and blame them for every problem they have. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of this out there whether it is because of the entitlement generation, mental illness, or what have you.
If Emma wanted to discuss any real problems we had in our family, I’m perfectly fine with that. I can certainly own up to the fact that I made mistakes as a parent. BUT, as long as Emma is going to accuse me of abuse and of attempted murder, and accuse a priest of sexually molesting her,, I will leave no stone unturned. I will keep writing and keep investigating. Emma had the opportunity to deal with me once and move on. Now she will be dealing with me for the rest of my life. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get anywhere near Emma. She already filed a police report claiming a car that looked like mine pulled into the driveway and sat on a night she knew I was at a neighbor’s home down the street (and fortunately I had friends follow me into the subdivision and follow me out because we all suspected she might do something like that. I will know everything I can about Emma from afar.
As a parents, our job was to raise Emma to be a decent human being. Obviously, we failed at that, and it’s a little late to send her to her room for a time-out, but as long as Emma is hurting other people, I will be around. Should she ever accuse someone again of hurting her, sexually molesting her, etc., I will be the first one to step forward with all the documentation of Emma’s lies. This little girl has cried “Wolf” one too many times.
In any event, Happy Birthday Emma. I hope it was all worth it.
Love, Mom

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged Abbey Benito, Abigail Rose Benito, Alicia Yearwood, Anderson Uni, Applied Psycholocgical Health http://appliedpsychhealth.com/, Applied Psychological Health, Armstrong University, Blair Weaver, Brooks Family, Brooks Family originally of Walton County, Candace Whitman, Derek McCravy, Dr. Genie Burnett, Dr. Richard Born, Electric Drone Society, Emily Kirby, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Roey, Fayette Flyers, Fr. George Ivey, Heather Thompson, Hodges Hobbies, HODGES HOBBIES ALL ELECTRIC FLY-IN 2014, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, http://adots.org/about/bishop-and-staff/, http://appliedpsychhealth.com/, http://www.electricdrones.com/, http://www.fayetteflyers.com/, http://www.hodgeshobbies.com/, http://www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org/, http://www.laniercounseling.com/index.html, http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff, http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com/, http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com/, http://www.tripletreeaerodrome.com/joe-nall-week.php, https://www.facebook.com/HodgesHobbies, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brooks-Family/93421367163, https://www.piedmont.edu/pc/index.php, Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Jackson County DFCS, Jackson County Sheriff's Office, Jefferson City Schools, Jefferson High School, Joe Nall, Joe Nall Week, John Hall, Johnathan McCravy, Judy Hall, Kathryn Brooks, Kayla Benifield Weaver, Lanier Counseling, Manna Treatement, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Phillip Roey, Piedmont College, Rachelle Hutchinson, Sandi McCravy, Sandra Brooks McCravy, Sandy McCravy, SEFF, seffweek.com, Social Empowerment Center, Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Suzie McGarvey, William Griffin Brooks, www.armstrong.edu/, www.peachford.com

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