Tag Archives: Jackson County Comprehensive High School

Emma’s Moral COMPASS

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her current husband, Tyler Buchheim live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, works for Southern Methodist University in Dallas, and   Emma works leasing swanky apartments in Frisco.   Emma and Tyler are the parents to two little dogs, Arya and Sansa.  (Emma is a huge Game of Thrones fan.)  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma’s Moral COMPASS  (Ok, so the title is a little play on words there.)

I recently, I had one of those Facebook “You Memories” come up from 2010, and here it is:

Emma compas

During this time, we were trying to figure out what we were doing with Emma and her education. She’d become a most uncooperative homeschooler. She hated Jackson County Comprehensive High School which she had started in 9th grade and then halfway through the year was vomiting and missing so much school that she had to finish 9th grade on line and then did 10th grade on line, and that seemed to make her even more isolated. It was during 10th grade that Emma made up the story about being molested by the priest. I think she was mostly on line chatting rather than doing school work, but in any event, on line school did not seem the right choice for a young lady who was already seemed to spend too much time alone. Emma was interested in going to college at Pensacola Christian College. She liked the idea of the strictness of it and how it promoted modesty and purity. Girls were not permitted to wear slacks, but had to wear dresses and stockings, and I think there was a rule about how boys and girls couldn’t walk together unless they were in a group. During this time, Emma was very paranoid about her “molester” seeking revenge or retribution on her, so she really liked the idea of a closed campus and felt she would be safe there. PCC sounded great on some levels, but I was concerned because it wasn’t an accredited school, so I was trying to talk to people and read about how this could affect Emma should we choose to send her there. I had a friend who’s daughter graduated there as a teacher, but could only teach in private schools, not public, and I didn’t like the idea of Emma being limited in her career should she go there. We also had some neighbors whose daughter went to PCC and found it too strict and confining.

I don’t remember how we started looking into Gwinnett Tech, but I think someone had suggested it. I did some research, and looked at their programs. At the time, Emma was interested in nursing, and she could have gone there and gotten a 2 year degree, although it probably would have taken 3 years, taken state boards, and earned her RN. Emma and I had a lot of conversations about this, and I remember us talking about travel nursing. I had told her it would be a way to see the country and being young and single, if that was what she thought she wanted, it would be a good time in her life to do that. She could use her dad and I as her home base and take assignments wherever she wanted to go. For a while, Emma was pretty interested in that idea. We decided, or I guess I decided, to let Emma take the COMPASS, the college placement test.

Of course, if you know the impulsive nature of teenagers, Emma was jumping on this idea of starting college at 16 and planning her future, while I was telling her to slow down and it was something we were looking into, but nothing was definite. Emma didn’t seem to hear me at all and was full steam ahead with her plans for college. I, on the other hand, was researching the pros and cons of starting college without ever obtaining a high school diploma. Should Emma get a GED? How do we make that jump from high school to college without a diploma. Would it hurt her in the future to not have graduated high school?

Another thing I was concerned about was throwing a 16 year old in with a bunch of 18 and older college students. This was all during the time that we believed Emma had been molested, before I started researching and discovering what a liar my daughter was about pretty much everything and everybody. We were still dealing with the make believe trauma of Emma’s supposed molestation, and I felt we needed to get through that before we threw her into the college setting.

Emma, who liked to say, “I have Google in my head.” was definitely a smart child, and I was so proud of her smarts. I knew, she could be whatever she wanted to be in life with that little brain of hers, but did she have the maturity needed for college? I’d known her dad when he was in college and he refused to put effort into classes that he thought were a waste of time, and thus he never finished college. What if Emma was the same way? How would Emma handle the drinking and partying crowd in college? I’d been hoping to see signs of maturity in Emma. I was hoping that she would show us that she could be responsible in other areas so that we could feel like she was responsible enough to get her driver’s license (although Phill still wanted her to wait until she was 18 to do that) and maybe get a part time job. Funny how Emma always made me out to be the mean (strict) mommy, but I was the one who wanted to see her get her driver’s license. I kept hoping she would show us she was mature enough to take on that privilege.

I talked to other home school moms, mother’s of college kids, teachers, and did a lot of reading on line. As usual, Phill said whatever I decided was fine. I talked to him about it, and tried to get his opinion, but he stayed out of it and was more interested in his RC groups and chatting on the computer and flying toy air planes. Finally, I just couldn’t seen Emma starting college at 16. It didn’t feel like the right decision. I felt like it would probably be better to get Emma back in public school and let her do joint or dual enrollment and take college classes while she finished high school. Emma was smart, but there’s a lot more to college than just smarts, and the two things that nagged at me were that fact that Emma would have no high school diploma, and I just wasn’t sure Emma was mature enough to start college full force.

Another reason I wanted Emma in high school was to give her more time around her peers before she started college. Yes, Emma was that Unsocialized homeschooler. Emma had had a pretty sheltered life, which can be good in some ways, and not so good in others. Homeschoolers typically are fairly good kids because mom and dad keep a pretty close eye on them and are usually involved in their kids lives. I worked for the arts program where Emma attended classes, and they kids were all pretty well behaved because if they weren’t, the program would ask them to leave. Public schools don’t have that option, and we’ve all heard the horrible stories of bullying, ostracizing, harassment and such that go on in public schools. As a mom who worked at the program, I was proud of the kids there. I saw a lot more tolerance and acceptance, and I thought it was because the kids were more individuals than the kids at public schools were. The kid who studied martial arts didn’t put down the kid who studied art. There were so many kids who were into so many different things.

The sheltered part of Emma’s upbringing that may have also been a negative was the fact that Emma wasn’t exposed to enough differences as far as race and religion. Phill and I were pretty much homebodies, and didn’t go out a lot, so Emma’s life consisted of her family, her homeschool groups, our church, and her various activities. In our homeschool groups, there were very few families of color, and the same for our church, although there were a few there as well. As a teen, Emma had all the answers and became rather prejudice and bigoted and Phill joked privately that Emma was “Right of right” and called her a mini-racist or a little racist (although he only said this to me, and not to Emma). I chalked it up to Emma’s limited worldliness, and figured she would outgrow her views. Emma had also decided that being gay was a choice and was wrong, and Emma was very judgmental on anyone who didn’t live up to her standards. Since Phill and I were pretty easy going about social issues, we talked openly with Emma about whatever she wanted to discuss, and we didn’t know where her strict black and white standards came from because we’d always been more “live and let live” kind of people. There was no grey with Emma. She had her opinions and beliefs and if we didn’t agree with her, we were wrong. You know how teenagers think mom and dad are stupid and they have all the answers? And then they grow up and realize they know a lot less than they thought they did and mom and dad actually had some wisdom (and life experience) and were a lot smarter than they thought. Well, that was what I was hoping to see in Emma one day. Still not there.

For the half year Emma attended public school she complained about the drugs, loose morals, all the pregnant girls, and the blacks and the Mexicans. According to Emma, the black kids got away with anything because the teachers were too afraid of being accused of racism to stand up to them, and every Mexican that Emma knew was poor and came from a family of 10 -14 kids. Emma complained about a Mexican kid that rode her school bus and lived in downtown Hoschton, in a dilapidated home with taped up windows. I asked her where the house was, and even drove around looking, but funny thing, I never found it.

When Emma complained about black kids at school, I tried to talk to her about cultural differences. Yes, inner city kids might be very different from Emma, but if she looked at the families at our church who were not white, they were just like us, living in middle class neighborhoods, going to school, playing sports, etc. If you remember from an earlier post, Emma claimed a black boy in her drama class had accused her of being a racist and of not liking black people. I doubt there was any truth to that story that this boy, out of the blue, accused Emma of not liking black people, and I’m sure it came out of Emma’s imagination, but Emma claimed to have told the boy that she preferred to judge people on the content of their character and not the color of their skin and then said that the boy didn’t even get that she was quoting Dr. Martin Luther King. (And as I said, I doubt there’s any truth to this story whatsoever, but it seems like the young man’s last name was Washington, so maybe we should look him up and see if he remembers.)

Emma didn’t like any of the girls on the drama crew because they were all lesbians, according to Emma.

While staying at a friend’s home who lived in a Mexican neighborhood, Emma claimed the Mexicans were shooting guns, in order to make it sound scary and to fulfill her role as victim, rather than tell the truth and admit they were shooting off fireworks on the holiday like we’d seen on so many other holidays when we’d been over at our friend’s house. What’s a teenager without a little drama?

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Emma  in the play Metamorphosis at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.  DRAMA!

Emma and I attended a ladies’ bible study, and there were a couple of women who had daughters or their son’s girlfriends who got pregnant. I know in two cases that I remember, the young women didn’t attend the group, but we heard all bout what was going on from the grandmothers-to be. Then, there was the daughter of one of the women, a few years older than Emma, who started coming to our group, and was pregnant. Emma was very judgmental, and it didn’t help that the young lady’s baby daddy was Mexican and I think was married, but in any event already had two or three other children. When our group leader mentioned we could have a shower for this young lady, everyone jumped on the idea to celebrate this little baby, that is, everyone except Emma. Later, when Emma and I were alone, she complained about how we were rewarding this young lady for doing something wrong. I tried to talk to Emma about how this young lady was in for a difficult life as a single mom, and she needed our love and support. I told her how fortunate this mom-to-be was to have two loving parents who were there to help take care of her baby, and since Emma was so staunchly ProLife, we needed to support this girl who could have taken the easy way out and chosen to have an abortion. In Emma’s mind, this young woman did not live up to her high standards. Emma kind of missed the part in church about how as Christians, we are all sinners. Emma’s own sins weren’t near as bad as someone who had sex before marriage and had a mixed race baby. Sadly, I don’t think “humble” is in Emma’s vocabulary. I remember when all the craziness started, and an adult friend who knew Emma some, but not well, told me she always felt that Emma considered herself superior to everyone else. Well, as a mom, of course, it breaks your heart to have someone think that about your child, but believe it or not, I tried to teach Emma to be kind to other people.

I would like to say that Emma changed after that beautiful baby boy was born, and his mother and grandmother brought him to our bible study. Emma usually liked little kids, but she had no interest in him, which was fine because the rest of us wanted to hold him and pass him around. Once you earned a place on Emma’s naughty list, I don’t think it’s easy to get off it.

So, you can see from the above why I thought maybe Emma had been a little too sheltered. I had hoped going to public school and maybe attending college at the same time might be good for Emma. Having grown up in a military family, I had a hard time understanding Emma’s prejudice and bigotry. When my family was overseas, we were just glad to meet kids who spoke English. We didn’t care what color they were!

Did I think Emma was ready for college? Academically, I think she might have been fine, but I thought Emma needed to grow up a little more before she started college. I just didn’t think she was mature enough. Well, you can imagine how this situation went over—————like a ton of bricks. Once again, I was the evil mommy who hated her, didn’t want her to be happy. The only reason she wasn’t starting college at 16 was because her mommy was MEAN! Story of my life. Emma had no idea how agonizing this decision was for me and how much time I put in to making it. Had Emma done things like her chores without having to be told over and over again, or picking up her room without being told, had she been a little more responsible, I might have felt differently.

I have often wondered if Emma’s views on social issues (blacks, gays, lesbians, Mexicans…..) have changed. Did going to college (all 4 of them), living in Ohio with in-laws who are political opposites to Emma and living in California, and Texas change Emma’s feelings about people that are different from her? Hopefully, she had some exposure to other cultures and her world got a little bigger She was a know it all teen, but I’m hoping at 24 ½ years now, and with a little more life experience, that she’s realizing people are people and cute babies are cute babies, and we don’t care what color they are or if their mom’s were married when they had them.

Attention, Agendas, and New Friends

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

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Emma going up and down a tree at the home of Carl Lehmann, Phill’s work partner.

I apologize to my readers for not keeping up with the blog.  I’m trying to get myself to organize my time a little better and work on writing more, but it’s hard to do between work and other obligations, and with the holidays coming, it gets even busier!  I’ve had some topics on my mind, but just haven’t sat down to write, so I’m posting something I was recently thinking about.

Attention, Agendas, and New Friends

With what’s going on in politics, and the women who have come forward at the last minute before the election to accuse Donald Trump of sexual abuse or harassment, I’ve had some conversations with people about sexual abuse, lying, reasons for lying, etc. The current events got me thinking about Emma’s lies and comparing her situation with what’s going on during this election season.

I haven’t really kept up with the allegations concerning Donald Trump. Apparently there are several women who accused him of sexual harassment or sexual assault. I tried to google the numbers, but those seem to change. It doesn’t really matter to me. Yes, I did hear the video of Mr. Trump speaking to Billy Bush, and yes it was crude and disgusting, and yes, I have been in situations where I’ve heard men speak the same way. (To be fair, in my situation of hearing men speak this way, the main one that comes to mind was when I was younger and worked as a waitress with some young guys. I thought of t their talk as bravado and masochism, and just thought of them as jerks with some growing up to do.) I’m not passing judgment on Mr. Trump either way right now. I’m not making a judgment as to whether these stories or true or not.

The timing of these accusations does make it appear that these women have an agenda. And yes, I do get that it takes one brave person to step forward and then others will follow. Also, apparently Mrs. Clinton was working on the Alicia Machado story for quite some time before bringing it up at the debate, so again, the fat shaming story was part of an agenda.

So, in reading about children and lying, I’ve wondered a lot about why children make up accusations about being molested or sexually abused, and I’ve wondered about Emma’s agenda in accusing the priest she accused of sexual assault. I know children don’t realize how much their story can harm another person, so of course they are not thinking of the ramifications of their actions, but from what I’ve read, the big reason is for attention, and that got me thinking about Emma’s need for attention. Why did Emma need to make up the abuse story?

I think a few things that come into play in the case of Emma’s accusing the priest of molestation are:

  1. Emma was failing an on line Physics class, so she told the teacher she’d been molested, couldn’t focus on school, etc.
  2. Emma was upset over the boy she liked losing interest in her.
  3. Emma had no close friends, and her two best friends were Kayla Weaver, whom she saw maybe twice a year, and “Lacey” who started out as pen-pal from an English assignment and became a friend through letters, e-mail, and texting, but whom Emma had never met. Phill and I did not realise that Emma was telling us many lies about “Lacey” and her family.
  4. Emma was bored. (I think we all know that bored teenagers, especially teens with a high IQ will find something to relieve their boredom whether it be something positive or something negative.)

As for Emma not having any friends, I didn’t think of this as a problem until I read Dr. Richard Born’s somewhat lacking (in my opinon) Psychological assessment of Emma. Emma wasn’t comfortable with kids her own age. Oh, she was a great leader or organizer. She made a great youth group secretary and could call or text the kids and remind them where to be and when, but she never really hung out with any of the kids other than in the youth group activities, and more typically at church, Emma liked being responsible for younger kids where she was in charge rather than a peer. Phill and I tried to encourage her to have kids over, were happy to host, cook, take them places or do whatever, but I realize now that was more us trying to encourage Emma, but Emma didn’t try to be a friend. And like a lot of kids, Emma could have a ton of friends on Facebook, and she could carry on some witty banter for a few lines, so she thought she was popular in that way.

One child, who Emma played with a few times when she was oh, I think middle school aged, described Emma as bossy, and lost interest in playing with Emma, and I think I understand it now. At the time, I thought it was just personality differences, but it was more that Emma would run things and wasn’t really being a friend.

It always made me sad that in 17 years of raising Emma, I never saw her have that “best friend” that so many of us remember fondly from childhood. Often, we’d invite a new friend to spend the night, and then they would reciprocate, and maybe see each other once or twice more, but that would be it. Emma didn’t seem to bond to anyone. Sadly, and as much as Emma would hate to admit this, I think I was her best friend up until she cried “child abuse.” I was often the person she sat with and cuddled and poured out her thoughts to, right up until she decided she didn’t need a mother anymore, but that is another story.

As for attention, I always thought Emma had PLENTY. As a homeschooling mom, I was at her beck and call, and Phill doted on her when he wasn’t on the road or out flying rc airplanes. We had a lot of fun as a family, just doing little things together, but she was always the center of our world. Yes, I know she was spoiled, but at the time, I thought no more than any other kid we knew.

Emma was very involved in church activities, in other things besides the youth group, and I was always proud of how she could socialize with people of any age, and wasn’t like some kids who clammed up and didn’t speak unless they were among kids their own age. I thought Emma got a lot out of having conversations with adults as well as kids, and I felt like she was exposed to a lot of people she wouldn’t have been exposed to had she been in public school, so I never felt like she was the “unsocialized homeschooler” but, as I said, I didn’t realize Emma was so uncomfortable around kids her own age.

Emma had belonged to a homeschool arts program, where I worked as well, and this was a big social activity for the homeschool kids. They would show up, greet their buddies, hang out between classes and after class, have lunch together, etc., but Emma really didn’t do much of that. She didn’t make any good friends, and she didn’t hang out much with the other kids. She would hang out in my classroom. She just never quite fit in, but I think she didn’t try to fit in.

A lot of the kids loved Drama, as did Emma, but Emma didn’t want to take the drama classes because there were too many kids and not enough parts. She wanted to be a lead, and there was too much competition. She also complained about how the end of the year program was written so that many of the kids would have some sort of speaking part. She didn’t like that teacher tried to include everyone and not just have a few star parts, so Emma would take some other elective and then was rarely happy with her choice. I know kids complain about school, and that’s just what they do, but it really wasn’t until Emma got to Jackson County Comprehensive High School that Emma found her true love, Drama with Mrs. Bonnie Roberts. That is, until the 2nd semester when Emma couldn’t have a big part in the play after having been the star the first semester. Suddenly, she didn’t care that much about Drama anymore and that was when Emma started a lot of throwing up and missed so much school we had to pull her out and finish the semester on line.

Emma lost interest and later quit the homeschool arts program. I continued to teach there, which was a bone of contention with her. I think Emma was always a little jealous that I had a great time with the kids in my classes.

I have to wonder, was Emma’s making up a tale of being sexually molested partly in response to the lack of attention she’d been receiving. She’d loved being the star of Metamorphosis, but 2nd semester was a let down. She had no friends at school, and no longer was the queen of the drama class she’d loved so much. If I remember right, Emma couldn’t even take drama that semester and had to take PE and Health instead, so school was a real bummer. Is this part of what led to all the vomiting and then later the molestation accusation? Emma had gone from being a star to being just another kid. Was she not getting enough attention?

I think a big mistake we made in Emma’s case was not to question Emma about the abuse. If someone had dug in to get her to explain every detail, I think her story probably would have fallen apart right away, but we treated her like the delicate, fragile, wounded child, and Phill and I didn’t question her, leaving it up to the professionals. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you know that both Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett and Suzie Mcgarvey both claimed that Emma would not talk about the abuse. There was nothing to talk about, so she started complaining about her Mother instead.

Anyway, what got me on this topic today, was thinking about the accusers of Donald Trump and the timing of the accusations. With the accusations coming out right before an election, it seems that there is some sort of agenda to these accusations. This really got me wondering about Emma and her agenda at the time. Was it just for attention? I’m sure Emma didn’t realize how much attention she would receive once all the local authorities got involved, the church, the police, the attorneys, the therapists, etc. Is that what Emma loved so much? Being the victim (volunteer) and being the center of attention because she was that poor child who’d been a victim of the crime of sexual abuse? Just how much attention does a child need?

Or did Emma need an excuse for failing her physics class? Emma had always been a good student, so failing a class would be a huge embarrassment to her. Saying she couldn’t focus on school because of repressed memories of sexual abuse suddenly appearing was a much better excuse than failing because she was spending too much time in chat rooms and writing letters to her pen-pal.

Emma lost the attention of the boy she liked, but got so much more attention once she announced she was the victim of sexual assault.

Emma didn’t have any close friends, so in claiming abuse she got a lot of “new friends” in the form of DFACS, social workers, therapists, police detectives, etc.

Anyway, so my thoughts were on Attention and Agendas today. I hope one day to learn just exactly why Emma choose to make up the abuse story. Since Emma claimed her sexual abuse was brought up because of repressed memories that came up when “Lacey” was raped and attempted suicide, and since was know “Lacey” WAS NOT raped and did not attempt suicide, was Emma already planning the sexual abuse story when she made up the rape story, or did she think that far ahead?  And, at the time of the rape story, Emma was very moody and rude to her dad, claiming he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. Phill likes to believe that Emma said these things because she was dealing with her repressed memories and was taking it out on him. I have to wonder if Emma was planning on accusing her dad of sexual abuse, but then couldn’t do it, so she chose the priest instead. One day, I hope we’ll have the answers to these questions.

Emma and the English Teacher (completed5/01/16)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

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Emma and the English Teacher (Jefferson High School, Jefferson, Ga.)

After doing (and not doing) 10th grade on line, Emma attended Jefferson High School 2010-2011 as a junior. To be fair to Emma, she missed the first week of school because we’d had a trip planned with my sister before we knew when school started. I gave Emma the choice, and of course she wanted to go on the trip, and Phill and I felt, remembering our own school days, that she wouldn’t miss much the first week and could easily get caught up. We also talked to the school about Emma missing her first week, and we assured that it was not an issue. Looking back now, with Emma starting at a new school, that was probably a bad decision, and as her mother, I am to blame for everything, at least according to Emma.

The two classes I thought Emma would like best turned out to be the classes she hated most. Emma took Drama with a teacher named Roger Bright. Mr. Bright’s claim to fame was a small role in the television series “Christy” in 1994-1995. Unlike Bonnie Roberts’ class, at Jackson County Comprehensive High School (JCCHS), Emma was not the star student, but was just another student, one of many. She didn’t get any special treatment, didn’t even get a part in the play, and she hated Mr. Bright.

According to Emma, there were moms who did all kinds of things for Mr. Bright, including babysitting the class while he went off in another room, and did not conduct class, and these were the kids who got the attention and parts in the plays.

The other teacher Emma complained about, even more than Mr. Bright was Janet Schwartz, her English teacher. Mrs. Schwartz was thought of very highly by students, parents, and other teachers. If you go to Ratemyteachers.com, you can read some comments that others have written about Mrs. Schwartz.
Emma came home with stories everyday about Mrs. Schwartz and how unfair she was and how poorly she treated Emma, or maybe, how she treated poor Emma!

I asked Emma to keep a list of her complaints and here are some of them:

On their idiom quiz, Mrs. Schwartz took 10 points off Emma’s grade because she used pencil to write her ansers. She spoke to Mrs. Schwartz after class and asked if she could get half credit because she had not been informed of Mrs. Schwartz’s policies. Mrs. Schwartz told Emma that she was supposed to copy someone’s notes, which she had done, but they did not mention the pens and pencils policy. Mrs. Shwartz told Emma she would under no circumstances reconsider her grade and would take off an additional 5 points for Emma’s “disputing her decision.” Emma said she asked Mrs. Schwartz at both the open hose and on her first day for any material she might have missed, and Mrs. Schwartz did not explain her policies or give her any handouts besides the idioms list and syllabus.

On Aug. 18, 2010, Mrs. Chwartz mentioned a vocabulary quiz that would be on Friday. Emma didn’t know what she was talking about, so she asked the other students who told her that they were given the vocabulary list the first day of school. Emma said she was never given the list, although she’d asked Mrs. Schwartz for hand—outs both on her first day of school and at orientation. She only had two days to learn 60 vocabulary words!

One story that Emma complained to me about, but did not write down, was about their term papers. Mrs. Schwartz put up a list of topic, and Emma knew which topic she wanted. When she asked Mrs. Schwartz for the topic she’d chosen, Mrs. Schwartz told her the topics wouldn’t be assigned until the next day. The next day, Emma asked Mrs. Schwartz if she could sign up for her topic, and Mrs. Schwartz told her she had already given that topic to someone else the day before. (I am interjecting this story here because the next paragraph is about Emma’s term paper.—Emma’s Mom.)

On working on the bibliographies for their term papers that were due that day, Emma brought her bibliography, done in MLA format because that was the format she had previously used in other English classes. Mrs. Schwartz announced that they would be checking each other’s Works Cited sheets according to the guide in their Writer’s Inc. books. Emma saw several of her classmates pull out this books which she had never seen before. Emma told Mrs. Schwartz that she did not have this book, and Mrs. Schwartz issued her one, however she had to re-do her bibliography because she had not told her this in the first place.

When Emma saw Savannah reading Gone with the Wind, she asked what class she was reading it for. Savannah explained that they were supposed to begin reading it at the start of the school year, and they would have a test on it on Sept. 16th, only two weeks away. Emma claimed she knew nothing about this assignment.

Emma discovered she hand an older edition of Writer’s Inc., despite several newer editions being available. It was confusing because when Mrs. Schwartz would cite a page, it was not the same page in Emma’s book. The book also did not discuss how to cite web sources because it had been printed before web sources were common. When Emma asked Mrs. Schwartz about this, she told Emma she should have said something when she issued the book and she would not allow Emma to exchange her book.

Poor Emma! Always the victim.

After school started, I’d encouraged Emma to get involved in any extra circular activities she was interested in.  She was in the dram club because there was some rule that if you took drama, you had to be in the drama club, and Emma hated it.  No surprise there,  since she hated Mr. Bright.  I don’t remember Emma’s various complaints, but I remember one story about them playing ball (dodge ball) at drama club.  I think Emma tried to make it sound like no drama was going on and it was all a waste of time.  As to what really went on, I have no idea.

Some time after the beginning of the school year, Heather Thomspon, the school counselor who’s husband Allen Thompson was one of Emma’s teachers, called me and asked if Emma could stay after school a couple of times a week or so to help in the office.  Of course I said it was fine, but I was disappointed that Emma was doing this.  I was hoping she’d find something to do with other kids and make some friends, but instead, Emma hung out with Ms. Thompson and complained about her home life, how badly she was treated, how she was afraid to go home to her her horrible mother, etc.  By this time, Emma knew the ropes and knew that if she kept making stuff up, by law, her teacher were obligated to report Emma’s horrible home situation to DFACS.  She’d learned this well when she told her Physics teacher she’d been molested and DFACS showed up at the door.  Poor Emma!  She needed to be taken away from her unsafe home environment!

(BTW, Heather Thompson has left Jefferson High School, and started her own little business called Gateway Consultation, College and Career Planning Services. http://www.gatewayconsulation .com in Athens, Ga.  She has bleached her hair with the dark roots.  It is kind of a very different look from the brown haired young woman with braces that I met at Jefferson High School.)

Heather Thompson was in a quandary!  Because Emma was going through major episodes of vomiting with the stress of the church attorney who was investigating her claim of being sexually abused by the priest, Emma missed a lot of school, and I had to go meet with Ms. Thompson one afternoon.  I remember sitting in her office, tearfully telling her Emma’s sad story of sexual molestation, dealing with the church, finding an attorney, etc.  Ms. Thompson was very sweet and kind and said if Emma wanted to talk to her, she was always welcome to.  Boy did Emma want to talk to her!  She had someone new to perform for!

I really didn’t find out about what Emma was doing and saying to Ms. Thompson until later, in one of our sessions with Suzie McGarvey (North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) when she stated that poor Heather Thompson was so distraught about what to do about Emma.  She didn’t know if she should believe her or call the authorities to have Emma removed from her home or what?  Heavens!

I’d spoken to Heather Thompson a couple of times concerning Emma’s complaints about Mrs. Schwartz.  It did not sound like Emma was being treated fairly.  Heather Thompson decided a meeting would be a good idea.  She asked that Phill and I come in, and then she would bring in Mrs. Schwartz and Emma.

Poor Mrs. Schwartz was blindsided.  She didn’t understand what the meeting was about.  She thought Emma was a wonderful student and had wanted her to try out for some oratory competition that she thought Emma could do really well at.

We brought up Emma’s complaint about her book, and Mrs. Schwartz said of course Emma could exchange the book.  Phill and I went to Mrs. Schwartz’s room with her and she showed us around, talked about the class, and of course exchanged Emma’s book.

Phill and I left, very satisfied that we’d stood up for our poor, picked on daughter.  Phill said he wondered if Mrs. Schwartz was somewhat senile or had some dementia.  She sort of stammered out many of her responses.

NOW, let me tell you what I think really happened.  Mrs. Schwartz probably thought Emma was a great student, and was probably really pleased with her progress in class.  Emma is a smart girl and worked hard at things she was interested in.

I do think we totally blindsided Mrs. Schwartz.  (I kind of know how she feels.)  She was having a typical day when she was called into the office in front of the principal, the school counselor, and two irate parents over a student who she was very pleased with.  I believe that is why she was thrown off and stammered a bit.

As for Emma’s book, yes, it was out of date and not the same as the others, but I believe Emma never said anything about the book to Mrs. Schwartz.  I think Emma wanted to make her parents upset with her story, so she never asked for another book.  She brought home the book as well as a classmate’s book, so that she could show her parents that the evil Mrs. Schwartz was trying to make life difficult on Emma by giving her a book that didn’t match up with the other books, so that if she called out a page number, Emma could not find the correct page without doing some hunting.

 

Oh, and as for the oratory competition that Mrs. Schwartz was so excited about having Emma try out for?  Mrs. Schwartz had told us that she and the drama teacher, Mr. Bright, would be working with Emma if she chose to enter the competition.  Why, this sound right up Emma’s alley, doesn’t it?  She loves drama and performing!

When I’d ask about the competition, Emma kept telling me that Mrs. Schwartz hadn’t announced it yet.  I knew this was a lie, but I also knew I wasn’t going to make Emma enter a competition if she didn’t want to.  She would do a sorry job and end up wasting everyone’s time if it wasn’t something she wanted to do.  I waited and waited and finally asked Emma to e-mail Mrs. Schwartz about the competition.  Sure enough, Emma had missed the deadline.  Surprise, surprise.

Sometime later, maybe in 2012 or 2013, I had an occasion to meet Mrs. Schwartz and her husband.  I did not tell her that I was Emma’s mom.  I am now ashamed of the lies I’m sure Emma told about Mrs. Schwartz and that I was stupid enough to believe them.  I found Mrs. Schwartz to be an absolutely delightful woman, and saw no signs of dementia or senility.  Another good manipulation by my dear daughter.  As a homeschooled child, and with her classes in the small homeschool groups, Emma was used to being a star student.  Mrs. Schwartz probably treated Emma like every other student, and she didn’t get all the attention she was used to getting.  She didn’t make any friends at school, so Emma once again had to be the victim to get attention.

 

 

 

 

 

Emma Getting Married—A Mother’s thoughts

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

emmaandbeau-copy

Emma and fiance Tyler Albert Buchheim.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

For those of you attending Emma’s wedding, I hope everyone knows it is still Sept. 19, 2015, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, CA. Gee, I feel sorry for the people who go their plane tickets already  (wink wink) Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s an Ohio wedding?

In 2012, I heard Emma was engaged to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student from West Chester Township, Ohio, who attended Notre Dame University and whom Emma had met on line. I had mixed feelings. She was 19, and too young and immature to be engaged, and Tyler was her first boyfriend, but I was also saddened, no, heartbroken, that I didn’t hear about Emma meeting Tyler, falling in love, etc. from Emma. I felt like in addition to all I’d missed with Emma starting college, I’d missed hearing about something else that was so special in Emma’s life. She’s my daughter, and even with all the horrible things she’s done, I do love her, and I want to see her happy and to have a normal life, even though now I don’t think that is possible. Emma will never have a “normal” life.

I was sad at the thought of missing all the wedding things with Emma like seeing her walk down the aisle to marry the man she loves, helping her with arrangements, going dress shopping, attending her shower, etc.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Of course, later on, I was to find out that there was no engagement, according to Tyler’s mom, Sherry Buchheim, who e-mailed me several times and told me that Tyler was not ready to get in engaged, etc. Who knows, maybe Sherry was lying to cover up for Emma. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. I still find it odd that a family from Ohio would let their son’s girlfriend move from Georgia to Ohio, to move in with the boyfriend’s grandparents, if the relationship was not fairly serious. They’d even taken Emma on vacation to Hilton Head and even had professional pictures made of Emma and Tyler.

I felt obligated to warn Tyler’s family about what they were getting into, and saw no point in e-mailing a young man who was in love. Who would he believe? His girlfriend? Or her mother whom he’d never met? Instead, I contacted Tyler’s mother, Sherry Buchheim, and told her briefly what Emma had done. I gave her my name, address, phone number and e-mail address and told her I would be happy to answer any questions she might have. (I’ve already written about this, so dear readers, you can go back and read about “Bud the Boyfriend” to get the full story about Emma and Tyler Buchheim.) I knew that Emma marrying anyone was going to be a disaster.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Now, when I think about Emma getting married, it just makes me sad for her. What kind of marriage can she have? But then again, I am glad Emma’s getting married. She won’t be able to hide her crazy (with apologies to Miranda Lambert—I love that song!) forever, and once the newness and excitement wears off, and the young groom is close to Emma, living with her day in and day out, her husband is going to see that something’s not right. Eventually, the marriage will end in disaster, but of course, nothing will be Emma’s fault.

I was discussing this with a friend, who knew Emma a few years ago, and I guess after everything Phill and Emma put me through, I’ve come a long way. I was telling her that I don’t even feel like I’m missing anything by not attending Emma’s wedding because I feel like the whole thing is such a farce. Her marriage is just the countdown until the first divorce. Or, as my friend put it, it’s the countdown until the next train wreck.

Emma will have her wedding day, her pretty dress, her handsome groom, her wedding gifts, her honeymoon, and she will be the star of the show. But just wait until Act Two.

Special thanks to Face in Hole for the fun website!  Emma and I used to do those Jib Jab things where you put the face in (or the dog’s face!) and when I saw this site, I thought this was the kind of thing we would have sat there and played with, laughing hysterically as we made funny pictures.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. This one reminds me of Hillary Clinton.  Sorry, Emma, I know you would hate that comparison! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Letters to “Lacey” – Post Script (Updated 8/8/15)–more to come……..

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma at the William Holland School in 2010. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma at the William Holland School in 2010. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

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Emma at the William Holland School in 2009, giving me a dirty look for taking her photo. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Letter’s to Lacey – Post Script & Emma’s Purity Ring

I wanted to share Emma’s letters to “Lacey” to give my readers a better feel for what was going on in Emma’s head at that time. The letters are the writings of a teenage girl and written more like a diary. If you read through the letters, it would have been in Dec. of 2009 when Emma told her dad and I that “Lacey” had been raped and then tried to commit suicide. I won’t repeat the whole story here, but Phill and I had picked Emma up on her birthday, after her youth group. Emma was very upset and told us that “Lacey” had called her from the hospital and was hysterical………. You can go back and read the post where I already wrote about this.

I often wonder why Emma would do that to her “best friend” as she often called “Lacey.” Was it because she had never actually met “Lacey” so it would be easy to make up a story that no one would verify? I just don’t know enough about liars to understand why they do what they do. All kids lie. We all know that. A school counselor told me that lying becomes a problem when the lies hurt people. Then it goes beyond what is normal. Emma was lying and hurting people, most definitely. I don’t know when her lies started going too far, but as much as I love my daughter, I know she has a serious problem.

Lacey’s” parents also sent me some chat messages between Emma and “Lacey.” Most of them were pretty uneventful. In one chat message, after Phill had me thrown out of my home by the sheriff’s department, Emma told “Lacey” she and her dad were planning a rafting trip to TN, and since “Lacey” lived a couple of hours away, in NW Georgia, she asked about meeting up with her. Previously, Emma had tried several times to get “Lacey” to come visit. I had agreed if “Lacey’s” parents would allow her to visit that I’d be willing to drive halfway to meet up with her parents and pick “Lacey” up. Emma told me two Christmases in a row that “Lacey” was coming, and one spring break, and at least once over the summer, but these plans never materialized.

I find it odd that Emma still tried to meet up with “Lacey” when she and her dad were going white water rafting in TN. Emma told people that “Lacey” had been raped and attempted suicide, and she had the gall to ask her if she wanted “to meet up for coffee or something?” Did Emma not think that “Lacey” might not think there was something really wrong with this kid who told such horrible lies about her?

If you look up Narcissism on Wikipedia, you find: Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and others. Signs and Symptoms: People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy.[5]

Ding, ding, ding, ding!!

Emma is unable to see the destructive damage she causes to herself and to others! And, Emma is all about power (control).

Several people have told me they thought Emma was narcissistic, and I believe she is, but there’s more going on there than just that. I know Emma has some serious issues. Narcissism is only one of them. Emma accused me of having a Borderline personality, but I think Emma may have been diagnosing herself. Although, when Phill and I first read about Borderline Personality Disorder, Phill said this disorder described Sandra Brooks McCravy much more than it described me, the symptoms also describe Emma. Honestly, I think there’s a lot wrong with Emma. She may have parts of many other antisocial personality disorders, but we just didn’t have proper help to figure her out.

I know Emma has some serious issues, and I would guess some sort of antisocial personality disorder. From the signs we saw over the years, the lack of empathy, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, and nothing was ever Emma’s fault.  Emma could be cold, calculating and manipulative, secretive, well organized, and egocentric.   …Emma knew right from wrong, but rules didn’t apply to her. I think, having raised Emma and homeschooling her for 5 years, I knew her pretty well, but I had no idea what she was capable of. How do you admit you think your daughter could be a psychopath or a sociaopath? Psychopath was a term I heard all my life, but I never really knew the meaning. Phill used to call his mother’s live-in boyfriend, Kenny, a psychopath or a sociopath, but even then, I didn’t really know what those terms meant. After doing some research and talking to some professionals, I feel like I have a better understanding of psychopath vs. sociopath, and I truly believe Emma is a psychopath.  As a mother, it breaks my heart to think my child is mentally ill, but what Emma has done goes beyond normal teenage rebellion
When Emma was growing up, she could be such a brat and so difficult about what she wanted, and it didn’t matter what was going on with the rest of the family, it just mattered that Emma got what she wanted. I used to think to myself sarcastically, “All that matters is that Emma gets what SHE wants!” or I might say to myself, “Well, Emma IS the center of the universe.”
I often wonder when that switch flipped for good. Emma could be my loving little girl who wanted to cuddle and talk things over with mom before bed, and she could be a cold, calculating, wicked being. At some point, the psychopath won out. Emma fed the wrong wolf. (From the Indian Proverb of the Two Wolves)
As a mother, what makes me sad is that if Emma is truly a psychopath, she doesn’t know what love is. She can pretend to love in order to get what she wants, but she will never know what it is to give your heart to another human being. It is hard to imagine someone being so self-centered that they can’t truly love those around them. I will write about my thoughts on Emma getting married in the next post, but it makes me sad for both her and her husband. Talk about a train wreck.

On Feb. 7, 2010, about a month and a half before Emma told us she’d been sexually molested by the priest, Emma sent “Lacey” a message about going to a bead show and buying herself a “promise ring.” Back in my day, a promise ring was like a pre-engagement ring that a high school boy might give a girl that he planned on marrying one day. I think Emma’s calling her ring a “promise ring” in the chat message might have been an error because she told me it was a “purity ring” and many times after that, I heard her refer to it as her purity ring. The ring was a little silver ring with a citrine stone. It was very pretty and looked nice on Emma.

Emma’s purity was very important to her. She wanted to remain a virgin until she married, and as a mother, you are glad to hear your 10th grader say that! With all the STDs to worry about, and all the unplanned pregnancies…………………….. I didn’t have a problem with her wanting to hold off on sex. Of course, but the age of 17, when Phill had me thrown out of my home, Emma had never even been on a date. Her thoughts about premarital sex might have changed once she had a boyfriend.

Emma’s own purity was one thing, but she held everyone else to her high standards. She spoke so terribly about everyone she knew at high school when she was in 9th grade at Jackson County Comprehensive High School. Emma made it sound like she was the only “good girl” in the whole place. Of course, Phill and I knew things had changed a lot from when we were in high school, so we just sort of assumed Emma knew what she was talking about. I think part of it may have been that Emma didn’t have any friends, so she made excuses by saying everyone else did drugs and was having sex so she didn’t want to be friends with any of these people anyway.

Someone told me that Emma seemed to have a superiority complex, and that I can believe. Emma and I attended a bible study down the street at a neighbor’s home with a group of women. There were a few members who had grandchildren that had been born to unwed parents. When the daughter of one of the women got pregnant and was not married, she started coming to our group. When we had a shower for this young woman, Emma was opposed to it. Emma felt like we were rewarding this young woman for her bad behavior. I thought this was a teaching moment, and I tried to discuss it with Emma. We talked about how lucky this girl was that she was living with her parents who were supportive and willing to help her. Also, Emma was very strongly Pro-Life, so I pointed out that this young woman could have chosen to have an abortion, but she didn’t. I thought we had some good conversations, but Emma was still very judgmental. Everyone was a sinner but Emma.

At one time, Phill had worried that Emma might be a lesbian. She didn’t show much interest in boys, but you have to admit that middle school boys can be kind of goofy. I wasn’t worried, just figuring she was not boy crazy. I think Emma was about 12 when we were at pet adoptions and walked across the street to Costco to get an iced coffee. We were walking back and chatting. I don’t remember exactly what we were chatting about, I think there had been a lesbian couple looking at a dog, but Emma commented on whatever we were talking about and then said , “Oh, I know I like boys!” I came home and told Phill he didn’t have to worry anymore.

One other thing that I think is funny about the purity ring and some of Emma’s letters was when she said she went somewhere. Maybe all teenagers do that, but Emma didn’t say, “My mom took me to a bead show.” She tried to make it sound like she was an adult and went by herself. I saw this in some of her other letters. I guess that was that teenager trying to be independent. Just over a year after Emma bought her purity ring, she got all the independence she wanted.

Coming up next: My thoughts on Emma’s upcoming marriage…….and for those of you that may have missed it, Emma’s wedding date is still Sept. 19, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, Ca. Gee, hope you all didn’t get your plane tickets already. Of course, Emma may be marrying Tyler Buchhein, an architecture student who lives in Ohio instead of Jackson Miller…………..just a little bug someone put in my ear………..but then, I haven’t received my invitation yet, but if you go to: http://registry.theknot.com/emma-roey-jackson-miller-september-2015/10942079 you can look at Emma’s wedding site, but you do need the pin number or password. (Sorry, I don’t have it, so let me know if you do!)

Two More Letters, but first…….

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

July 19, 2015

Two More Letters to Go, but first……. There is a gap between Emma’s letter from Oct. 19, and her following letter dated Jan. 8. 2010. It is possible the girls were e-mailing and not writing, and I know they were texting a lot because Emma had always shared some of her news from “Lacey”. If you’ve read my previous posts, you already know that a lot of what Emma told me was not true, such as “Lacey’s mother being on death’s door with breast cancer….. I also heard a lot about “Lacey” and Aaron. Emma loved telling me about their relationship troubles. It was all very dramatic. From what Emma told me, Aaron was a freshman in college while “Lacey” was a freshman in high school. They met through church, on a mission trip, I believe. There was lots of drama about trying to keep her parents from finding out about her feelings for Aaron because they would not approve of the age difference, and Aaron and Lacey didn’t date at that point, but only saw each other at church. Later on, Emma told me about Aaron having dinner with a group of friends at a restaurant, and his old girlfriend showed up. He confessed to “Lacey” that they talked for a long time out in the parking lot after dinner, and he kissed her. Emma really hated him for that. I have never met “Lacey” and have only spoken with her mother. I have no idea if the stories about Aaron are true or not. Since Emma lied so much about “Lacey’s” rape, attempted suicide, and her mother’s breast cancer……, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the drama about Aaron was made up too.

Also, just after Emma’s last writing in Oct., Evan seemed to lose interest in Emma. They spent a lot of time together at the church hayride. I don’t remember the exact date, but it was around Halloween. They hayride was held at our deacon’s farm, and the adults visited, and we all cooked hot dogs over a fire while the kids rode around the farm several times on the hayride. Emma and Evan sat together and he had his arm around her. It was all very sweet. I remember getting into bed that night and Emma came in and laid down on the bed next to me to talk about the evening. She was a happy, young girl in love. She loved telling me stories about what the kids said and did, and especially what Evan said or did…….

Church Hay Ride 2009.

Church Hay Ride 2009.

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride. Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride.  In this picture you can see how sweet and loving Emma looks with her dad.  It was shortly after this picture was taken that Emma started complaining about her dad, saying she didn’t like him, and he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” daily.   Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I’m pretty sure I know why Evan lost interest in Emma, but it is very personal, and believe it or not, my goal is not to embarrass and humiliate Emma. It’s not something that needs to be shared in this blog and doesn’t relate to the horrible things Emma has done. My only goal is to tell the truth. This is something I would have liked to work out with Emma privately but because she threatens me with a restraining order if I contact her, I feel my only alternative is this blog.

The last time I heard from Emma was Jan. 14, 2014. Just before that, I received an e-mail from Emma about breaking up with Tyler Buchheim. Someone pointed out something to me recently that Emma and Tyler may not have broken up. They may have written me to make me think that they broke up, and now that Tyler is or has graduated college, they may be actually getting married. I’m not going to mention what was shared with me. I do have some things to say about Emma’s upcoming marriage, but that is for a different post. In my previous posts, I referred to Tyler as “Bud the Boyfriend.” Since some of you may not have read about Emma and Tyler, here is a short version of it:

Emma met Tyler on line. He was an architecture student at Notre Dame University. He came down to visit her in Ga., and she went on vacation with the Buchheim family to Hilton Head. She convinced his family that she was not safe at home and they invited Emma to move up to Liberty Township, Ohio and in with Tyler’s grandparents, as Tyler’s mother did not want the raging hormones under the same roof. Emma began telling people she was engaged, but did not expect these stories to get back to her mother. I contacted Sherry Buchheim, Tyler’s mother, and in addition to telling Sherry what Emma did here in Ga., lying about “Lacey,” and claiming to have been sexually abused by a priest and then physically abused by her mother, I also shared stories that Emma told about Tyler, his younger sister, and his parents. As to whether or not Emma and Tyler broke up, I do not know. They may have pulled another one over on Emma’s mother, but I don’t really care at this point. I took Tyler’s name out of the blog when I thought they’d broken up, but now that I’ve heard something to lead me to believe I was wrong, I will put his name back in and leave it until I find out otherwise. Here is that e-mail Emma sent when she claimed Tyler broke up with her:

“Well, I have to say, congratulations. I never imagined you could destroy my life so completely, but you have. You win. You’ve proven that no matter how hard I try to escape your damage and rebuild my life, you will still find a way to hurt me. And now you’ve taken away the most important, sweetest, kindest person in my life. Yes, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to know that all this crap got to be too much for Tyler, and he dumped me. In your twisted mind are we somehow even now, or will you continue destroying my life? I don’t even know what else you can do, really. I know now that I’ll never be able to have a relationship, because you’ll ruin that. You’ll stalk my schools, my jobs, and anything else I ever do. What’s your endgame? What do you want from me? What the hell do I have to do to get you to leave me alone and stop hurting innocent people with your inane blog??? And please don’t say you want to be a mother to me, because publicly degrading your child definitely crosses the point of no return on that, as I know I’m not the only one to tell you. Oh, and stalking my boyfriend and his family til they dumped me? That didn’t score points either. “

At one time, I was not going to post that e-mail because I wanted to give Emma the chance to clean up her act. From the beginning, I told Emma and her dad I would take down the blog and keep this between the three of us, but we needed to deal with it. Since Emma chose to continue with her lying, I changed my mind, so there it is. I e-mailed Emma back and told her I would not do this through e-mail and she could call me to discuss it. I then received an e-mail from Katherine Smith. (Emma goes by Katie Smith on Facebook, last I heard. If you are going to change your name to hide your indiscretions, be sure to choose something common.) Here is that e-mail:

January 8, 2014

RE: Email Message

DO NOT contact me again, in any form, at any time. Forms of contact include (but are not limited to): phone calls, voicemails, text messages, email messages, messages sent through a postal service, and physical/verbal in-person contact. Again, as of today, the eighth of January in two thousand and fourteen, I am requesting that you DO NOT contact me ever again, in any form. If you contact me again, I will take legal action against you.

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma had already sent me a “drop dead” letter when Phill and I were divorced, so this second one was no surprise.

A few months ago, someone asked me if Phill knew how lucky he was that what Emma did to me could have just as easily been done to him. Then, recently, a friend, who went through this whole horrible ordeal with me, and is someone whom I will always treasure for being there for me, said something about how Emma’s goal was to split up her parents. Who knows why, but first she tried to turn me against Phill by claiming that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” every day, and complaining about the way he touched her. I have wondered if I had taken the bait, if Emma would have accused her dad of sexual abuse rather than the priest. When I would not allow Emma to talk that way about her dad, she came up with the story about being sexually molested by the priest, and when that went too far, she had to stop it and came up with the story about her mother physically abusing her. By getting her mother out of the house, Emma got all the freedom and control she could ever want. By threatening to run away if her dad made her go to counseling with her mother, Emma had her dad right where she wanted him. Blood is thicker than water, and a daughter is blood, while a wife is only water. With all the lies and documentation I have about Emma’s lies, Phill knows the truth, but won’t discuss Emma. He is definitely not the man I thought I was married to. For someone who was proud to say he was eligible to join MENSA, you just have to wonder. The first time Phill told me he could have joined MENSA had he wanted to, we were pretty young, and me being of only average intelligence, I have to admit, I didn’t even know what it was. I wonder if Emma is eligible too. I always said she got her smarts from her dad.

Letters to “Lacey” Part 18 *********(Completed 7/17/15)************

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others. As of now, Emma’s planning on getting married on Sept. 19, 2015.

Part 18
Oct. 5, 2009 (Emma starts another 7 page letter to “Lacey.”)
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Emma tells “Lacey” she had a pretty good weekend. She was supposed to babysit T. on fri, but her mom was too tired to go to the church book club, so Emma went. The group was talking about “blips” in life when something goes wrong and changes your life such as bad marriages, bad parents, divorce, etc. Emma says she likes listening but pretty much kept quiet since she hadn’t read the book and didn’t have enough life experience to comment. We took a break to get food, and them Emma talks about Evan’s mom, Ms. M. saying to her, “Emma, I bet you’re sitting there thinking this is never going to happen to you, and she said it really sharply, but she’s like that to everybody, so Emma doesn’t take it personally. Emma says she was actually think that Annie D’s bracelet was pretty and she’d never seen her wear it to book club before, not that Emma would admit what she was thinking. Emma says she told Ms. M. how she’d been thinking how nice it was to be in a group of ladies and how we all seemed to have a bond even though some of us didn’t know each other that well. Emma says she feels like Ms. M. is attacking her, even though she thinks that is just how she is…

Emma goes on to say that o Saturday, they practiced at church all day long on their skit for the sock hop. Jordan is great at choreographing, so she told everyone what to do. They have a rough plan now, but need a few more rehearsals. Emma says she has a great costume—a cheerleading outfit from the fifties that Aunt Janice made—yes literally sewed every stitch herself—when she was in high school. It fits Emma perfectly. She wore it to church to make an announcement and to just generally draw attention to herself. Then she dragged everyone who was in church (Alex, Rob, Evan) up to the front during announcements to invite everyone to the dance. Evan and Rob were acolyting, so they were already up front….and when they went up for Communion, they were kneeling at the altar and Emma’s dad whispered, “Evan’s staring at you….Emma, look, why is he staring at you…” And Emma said “Daddy, its ok!! Be Quiet!!” As she later pointed out, who wouldn’t be staring at someone in a fifties cheerleading uniform anyway? Daddy’s not that observant, so he believed Emma. Evan always watches Emma, she says, but no one else usually notices, or at any rate, they don’t comment…..and if Daddy notices, he comments.

Ok, she sort of got sidetracked there. Emma says. The talks about finding 4 traffic cones and makes fun of Jordan for telling them to, “Make a circle with these!” and mentions pointing out to Jordan that they made a square, not a circle.
Emma talks about the Blessing of the Animals service and says she doesn’t understand people who aren’t used to animals. The youth group were supposed to be doing a dog wash for a fundraiser, and Emma claimed that Evan was supposed to dry the animals, but just draped a towel around a dog and asked “Is that right?”

Oct. 12, 2009

Emma apologizes for not sending this letter last week and says she will finish it and send it tomorrow, she hopes. She talks about acolyte training, which they had the day before, and the new junior acolytes which she is excited about. The new ones are enthusiastic and clueless so they do whatever Emma tells them very cheerfully. She complains about Fr. T’s son being book bearer, and says she is never going through that again. She complains that Trevor (name changed) is bipolar…..severe bipolar…and she thinks he has a problem with women, particularly as authority figures. He does not and has never liked Emma or Jordan,, and threw a royal fit about getting robed………….So while Emma is dealing with an eighth grader throwing a hissy fit, she’s also trying to get two acolytes who have no clue what they are doing to light candles. And of course, it’s a Baptism, so there are a ton of extra candles, all of which have to be lit in the correct order. Emma doesn’t mind helping a couple of the acolytes who are new and trying their hardest but Trevor is a different story. Emma claims she told an adult that she is never serving with him again. If he won’t accept her as team captain, there is really no point in trying. She is too type-A assertive/aggressive to put up with that, and no one’s going to be happy.

Emma talks about the Peace, when, congregants greet each other and hug or shake hands, and how she was thankful her parents sat on an asile so she go see them without making her way through a row of people who all wanted to talk to her. She was saying goodbye and getting ready to run back up front when she heard her name and of course, she’d know his voice anywhere, even in a room full of talking people. She spun around and was in his arms, not that she minds, but remember this is right besider her parents, so of course they had a field day with that one. Mother was gleeful and daddy was sulky/pouty………… Emma says she is not sure what is going on! She has a list in her head why she thinks he loves her vs. why he doesn’t. the first list goes something like this: he says he loves her. He texts her to ask her questions he already knows the answers to. In church he somehow always ends up sitting where she can see him and he can see her even when that means not sitting with his mom. He watches her all the time and the only time he’s not standing or sitting by her is if her parents are around. She calls to ask him one question which everyone else has answered in 5 seconds and they end up talking for 20 minutes about random, inconsequential, irrelevant stuff. The second list: He hasn’t asked her out. Sometimes he won’t even look at her if her parents are around. She knows his brother hates her (he hates everyone at church, but still) and she has no idea what to make of his mom. And he has no reason to like her anyway!

Soooo, Emma doesn’t know what to think! Oh and after church we went to a brunch at Chateau Elan, which has really good and really expensive food, and listened to talk about stewardship and pledging. Emma claims Ms. M., Evan’s mom, was one table over and she swears that every time she looked up, Ms. M. was staring at her.
Emma goes on to talk about whom we were sitting with at Chateau Elan and how she served at the wedding of a couple there and how Jordan was in love with the son of the husband…………

(I wouldn’t say Emma’s dad was “sulky/pouty” over her and Evan, nor was I gleeful. It was nice to see Emma happy, and since she talked about Evan all the time, like I said earlier, it wasn’t exactly a secret. The whole church saw them together, but most of us were adult enough to know it was young love and didn’t necessarily mean we should expect wedding bells!)

Oct. 15, 2009
Emma talks about going to Wed. night Sunday school and says she thinks it’s cute how Evan starts out on the other side of the room from her, next to Rob, and within five minutes, he comes to get something off a shelf behind Emma and sits down right beside her for the rest of class. She doesn’t know if anyone else notices, but she does, and it makes her happy.

……..in class they were talking about the part of the Gospel where Jesus calls a certain group of people hypocrites, and Ms. Shanna added, “we can see a lot of hupocrites in history…” and knowing that she and Ms. Greeson (the other teacher) agree with Emma, she feels the need to add, “Or prominent political figures.” And that got everyone laughing…….Emma says everyone there, except maybe Molly, know Emma’s opinion of the President.

Emma mentions how she likes both her teachers. They are both young, with young children, and agree with her politically, and they are just really nice. They treat her with respect, and Ms. Shanna informed Trevor that Emma is one of the most mature people she knows and he will treat her as an adult while he is in her class. They have a lot of art materials in the classroom and they are supposed to be doing something while they are talking, but Emma never does, so she just sits. She will never be happy with anything she draws, paints, etc. There is always some detail that bothers her, so she just sits. She wonders what they think about that. Next week she may pick up a piece of paper and just sit there with it. Just to make it look like she is thinking about doing something. Even though she never actually would. She doesn’t want them to think she’s not participating or that she thinks she is too good for it. She actually not good enough to do art. Even stringing beads. Everyone’s made cross necklaces to wear while they’re in the room, but she knows she wouldn’t be happy with the one she made, so she doesn’t make one.

Emma complains, “It’s so hard, “Lacey!’” She is having problems with walls again. She loves him, but she is afraid to love him. It was fine to like him when she thought he didn’t like her, but now that she thinks he loves her, it’s scary. Emma thinks about him all the time and then she wonders if he’s thinking about her. And when he looks at her, her heart flies so fast that she feels like she is going to faint she didn’t used to do that because whether she loved him or not, she never thought anything would come of it. Now she always wonders what he’s thinking and she doesn’t know what to say when he talks to her. She always manages to say something semi-intelligent, but then she thinks of a million other things she should have said. She wishes he would tell her he loves her again. Emma has this irrational hope that maybe something will happen tonight (when setting up for the Sock Hop) or tomorrow at the dance. Her parents will be there tomorrow, but not tonight…although she doesn’t really expect anything to happen. She wishes “Lacey” were there. She wishes she could talk to him. Well, no that’s not true. She wishes he would talk to her, except that when he looks at her he blushes and she can’t meet his eyes for more than a second. She wonders if he notices. He notices more about her than she realizes, she does know that. On Monday he brought up something that she’d said like three years ago that she barely even remembers. Emma doesn’t know whether she’s in love with him or not, although she knows he loves her. And she can’t tell her mom that she’s in love and has been since forever because she’d think Emma was silly.

Emma doesn’t care how sweet Aaron is, he is not allowed to think evil things involving “Lacey!”
“The journey from your mind to your hands/is shorter than you’re thinking…” Slow Fade by Casting Crowns.
Ok, Emma says not to worry she is kidding. Sort of. She doesn’t really know Aaron so shee can’t judge him. If he’s good to “Lacey” then Emma likes him. If he breaks her heart, he’s evil and villainous and she hates him to pieces. “Lacey” will have to print a pic of the two of them together and send it to Emma.
(And No, Emma, I never thought you were silly when you were in love with Evan. It was sweet. Love is love whether you are 15 like you were at the time or whether you are an old 48, like I was and still in love with your dad. Love is love, and it was your first serious crush, and a really big deal for you.

And another Casting Crowns Song you used to like, Emma:

She is running

a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

She is trying, but the canyon’s ever widening

In the depths of her cold heart

So she sets out on another misadventure just to find

She’s another two years older

and she’s three more steps behind….

Does Anybody Hear Her by Casting Crowns)

Oct. 17 2009
Emma spends the next three pages talking about Evan and the sock hop. The kids put on the skit they’d been working on, and then Evan pulled Emma on to the dance floor and it was a slow dance and there were only two other couple dancing, so of course Emma feels her parents staring at her. Emma says they danced about the next 7 songs and then one of the little boys started hitting Evan with balloons and he said, “Stop. I’m with my girl.” Emma wonders if she is “his girl” then why hasn’t he asked her out………….

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was I took of Emma dancing with her dad. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was this one I took of Emma dancing with her dad. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

Oct. 19, 2009

Emma talks about the Corn Maze trip and of course lots and lots about Evan…………sitting next to Evan in the car……….usual teenage girl in love kind of stuff……….wishing she could go back to last Friday night. She was so happy then. It was like everything was different that night. Different isn’t the word. She doesn’t even know that there is a word…and normally Evan wouldn’t hold her hand or put his arm around her, but for some reason it was ok and now they are back in the real world and it’s not ok anymore and she wants it to be ok, but she doesn’t know what to do about it………..Her life revolves around when she will see him next. She wants to have a heart-to-heart with him but is afraid to. She thinks about it all the time. She doesn’t know how much longer she can take this. It is stressing her out and she doesn’t focus on school or anything else for long. She wishes she could talk to someone, but there is no one “here” she can trust.

Thanks for listening! Love ya!
Emma-Kate

(Emma was a little paranoid about her parents “staring” at her.  It wasn’t a large group, and it wasn’t a large room, but Phill and I tried to give Emma some space.  And besides, we really enjoyed watching the adults dance.  Phill and i were to totally uncoordinated people, and the only dancing we did was slow dancing in the privacy of our kitchen!

Now, let me see if I can find that Sock Hop video………….)


Letters to “Lacey” Part 17

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Part 17
The following Day Emma starts another letter to “Lacey.”

Sept.29, 2009

Emma asks “Lacey” how she is and talks about the cool morning…
Emma then complains about going to the mall the day before to pick up her portraits, ugh. Tey are ok. She likes a couple of them, but of course it is the ones she doesn’t like that her parents had wallets and stuff printed of. We also went to Bath and Body Works, and Emma says she needs to stay away from that store. She loves all the pretty smells, but has four different ones….

Emma says that when “Lacey” is down at Christmas, they will go to the mall, and goes on to make fun of her mom, telling “Lacey” that her dad called and asked where we were, and her mother said, “Are we upstairs?” and how the cashier was laughing at her. Emma says when you look outside and see a balcony, obviously we are upstairs.

Emma reminds “Lacey” that they were talking about her parents being nosy. That is why she created a yahoo e-mail account. They don’t know about it, so they don’t snoop in it. Every time she uses it, she deletes it from her history so they wonn’t see it. She only e-mails “Lacey” and a few school friends from it, so she doesn’t think it’s that bad. She would never get into anything bad on the internet or give that address to anyone she didn’t know well, so she doesn’t feel too awful about keeping it secret from them. Also, she’s 90% sure they go through her text messages, so she deletes anything she doesn’t want them to see. It’s nothing bad, just what she told “Lacey” the night before. She wouldn’t want her parents to see that. She does have reason not to trust her parents. They are both awful liars. They can’t keep secrets for a minute. They’re just one of the things that could hurt her, so she doesn’t tell.
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I love how Emma complains about the portraits (previously posted) we got from JC Penney. We had a coupon for $3/sheet of 8”x10”s, 2 5”x7”s, wallets, whatever. The price was very reasonable. When we looked at the proofs, I picked out the photos I wanted, and I let Emma pick out what she wanted. In addition to what we bought, her dad copied and made prints of them with the computer. Once again, Emma just had to find something to complain about, when she had nothing to complain about. It makes such a better story than saying, “My mom let me pick out the prints I wanted.”

The story about me not knowing if I were upstairs or downstairs at the mall may or may not be true. I am not much of a shopper, and I know there were two Bath and Body Works at the Mall of Georgia, however if we were close enough to the front of the store, I believe I would have figured out that we were upstairs. Emma’s poor, stupid mother.

Emma once complained that her dad and I lied to her, and we got into an argument. I told her that we might not tell her things that we did not feel were appropriate for her to know but we did not deliberately lie to her. She went on and on about how oh yes we did, so I asked her what we lied about. Her answer was, “Santa Claus.” So, sue us, Emma.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Sept. 30, 2009

Emma complains again about the cold and says she wishes she could have talked to “Lacey” last night. She complains that for two weeks in a row she has absolutely been unable to focus. Sigh. Not good. She was texting “him” last night, and she thinks she has already told “Lacey” that he will randomly start talking in Spanish, and no one can understand him because Emma is the only other one in Spanish and she is only in her first year. Emma says she is going to have to delete her Inbox soon. It is too full ad she doesn’t want to wade through it to decide what to keep.
Emma says she was asking Evan (aka “him”) to talk to anybody in the youth group that goes to Wednesday night Faith Formation about a project. Emma explains that the church moved Sunday school to Wed nights, and she can’t go because she has Forensics meetings and her mom says it is too much in one night. 
“Si mi amor.”
“Yes,, what???? I’m not that far yet.”
“Yes.”
“No I got that part. What is ‘mi amor’”?
“My love.”
“Love you too. I have to go to a meeting though [sic] I will txt you later.” Only, Emma complains, that she didn’t get to talk to him anymore last night because her meeting ran late and she was tired, but then she couldn’t sleep of course, so hopefully today.
Emma wishes she could fast forward to Saturday because the kids were tomeet at the church for skit practice…..


I would just like to point out another lie when Emma says her mother said “it’s too much in one night .” Poor Emma. Being the victim must be so exhausting. Because Emma really didn’t have any friends, and she quit most activities she tried, I took her to any church activity she wanted to go to, especially the youth group (and if Phill was around, he took her as well). The reason Emma could not go that Wed. night was because her Forensics meetings conflicted with her Faith Formation class, not because her mean ol’ mother said it was too much. It was not possible to do both activities, and she had to attend the Forensic meetings because it was a part of her grade, but doesn’t it sound soooo much more interesting to blame her mother for not getting to see “su amor” (her love).

Emma complains about going to the orthodontist and says she can’t wait to get her braces off (sometime next year). She says she is happy now because her mom says she can go to Faith Formation tonight! She is so happy, but of course she didn’t tell her mother why or act overly excited, but she can tell “Lacey” she is happy!  Except her teeth hurt which makes her not happy. Oh well, nothing is perfect. She is kind of nervous too but no one will ever know that except her and maybe him. Why can’t she feel as assured as she acts? If only she was a good enough actress to fool herself, that would really be something… Oooh, she almost doesn’t want to go tonight. He doesn’t think she is going because she didn’t know she was going until this morning. She knows he will be there though. Why does life have to be so darn complicated? And she didn’t tell mother about anything last night, so does she need to tell her before we go? She doesn’t think she is going to. She doesn’t think she will bring it up.

Emma says she is totally messed up. She is happy, but not happy. She is nervous, but excited. This is silly, but for once she doesn’t know how to stop being silly. Of course, she can cover it up with acting, but she can’t hide it from herself. Acting is how she builds her wall. She builds a facade so people think they know her and then she carefully adds to it so they never think to look under it. Sigh. She is going to go. She should look forward to it. Be Happy. Be Happy. Emma needs to be happy and bubbly and everything else she wants people to think she is.

Emma says she is so hyper. She wants to go and she has to wait three whole hours, during which she will be absolutely useless because she is totally not concentrating. Maybe while everyone’s coming in she can slip outside with the little kids and see him without her mom. Assuming we get there first. She will have to try to discreetly get her mom to leave early. Set the clocks ahead? Hmmm, too complicated….

Well, Emma says she was more honest there than she usually is, which she almost regrets She wants to just take out this whole page, but she will not. Because “Lacey” is not going to hurt her and her parents are never going to see this. So there is nothing to be afraid of. Emma tells “Lacey” to let her know what is going on with her!! And Aaron!!
Love ya!!
Emma-Kate


Ahhhh, young love and teen angst all rolled up into one. I don’t remember why we went to Faith Formation that particular night. My guess would be that Emma’s Forensics meeting was cancelled or postponed. I’m also not sure about Emma trying to discretely see Evan without her mom. When we got to the church, I always went and sat with the adults and she went off with the youth. Emma talked about Evan at home all the time at hone, so it’s not like it was a big secret. Everyone at church saw the two of them together frequently, so it wasn’t a secret there either.

Letters to Lacey Part 16, Emma Accuses Johnny Boddie ****Completed June 21, 2015***

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Part 16  Sept. 21, 2009

Johnny Boddie

Emma starts off this letter telling “Lacey” she is in more messes than she cares to think about at the moment, but of course that blocks out any possibility of finding a solution, so perhaps she’d better think about them… The past two weeks have been creepily coincidental for Emma. She guesses she’d better start at the beginning, since that would make the most sense. It goes back to when she was in Jackson County Comprehensive High School (Jefferson, Ga.), in drama. She didn’t tell “Lacey” about this earlier because Emma had put a “mental block” on it. She knows that’s not healthy, but sometimes it’s easier than facing things. And up until now, Emma sort of thought it was behind her. She says she’s going to explain it quickly, and it may not completely make sense, but she’d rather not edit or revise this. She’d rather not think about it at all, but maybe “Lacey” has some advice that would help.

Emma really loved her drama teacher (Bonnie Roberts), and from day one, two students stood out as the best in the class. (Emma is referring to herself and a young man named Johnny Bodie.) Because they were the best, the two of them were always assigned to work together and the rest of the class enjoyed watching Emma and Johnny. If they were doing groups, Emma claims that everyone wanted to be in the group with Emma and Johnny. Johnny seemed nice, but almost too nice. It was like he was behind something more sinister. She tried to ignore it since, A) Emma has proven herself to be waaay paranoid and b) Emma did not have the tiniest reason to think she was right. Anyway, he was a junior and Emma sort of looked to him to know how to act in a school environment, since she’d never known one before. The two of them were cast as the two leads in the play which was no less than anyone expected. The one-act went off without a hitch, and Emma enjoyed it.

Some of the cast from the Jackson County Comprehensive High Shchool's production of Metamorphosis with teacher Bonnie Roberts. Emma is 2nd from left. Johnny Boddie is in the front, in the suit. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey,

Some of the cast from the Jackson County Comprehensive High Shchool’s production of Metamorphosis with teacher Bonnie Roberts. Emma is 2nd from left. Johnny Boddie is in the front, in the suit. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey,

Then there was the “showcase,” the final at the end of the year that everyone had to participate in. They were in groups of five and of course, Emma was in Johnny’s group. Rehearsals went normally until final dress. After final, they were supposed to grab their props and head upstairs to the loft until people came in. Emma was half way up when she realized she’d forgotten her notebook and pen (her props) backstage. She could go up and face Mrs. Roberts’ wrath or she could run back and get them with her none the wiser. So, she ran down the stairs, through the curtains, back to the stage. It was nearly dark. She’d forgotten that Johnny would still be there, since he had to rig the curtain before the show, all by himself. Emma claims she put herself in a bad situation, and it was stupid of her to do so. She was so scared she didn’t know what to do. She pushed Johnny away and grabbed her props and ran. She sat on the staircase for a half hour or so, too shaken to go inside. No one missed her as it turned out. Emma says she couldn’t tell anyone. Her parents are prone to overreaction, and she doesn’t mean talking to the school. She means they would probably press criminal charges, and you know that would be all over the school in a heartbeat, so Emma didn’t tell, and she won’t now because it’s all behind her, but it’s just been creepy. First, he was in the paper, and she saw the picture, and then she met a couple of girls from the cast on Saturday, purely by chance. They wanted Emma to come see the show and they mentioned that Johnny had the lead. Emma tells “Lacey” that she can’t go to the play by herself because she would have to pass Johnny in the lobby as she left. She could get some friends to go but a) it would probably be a pretty bad show, and b) her friends life too far away. She wants to go, but just can’t.

AND…….Emma goes on to complain to “Lacey”, her mom wants her to try out for the school play next semester. She can’t. She can’t. She can’t. Emma knows she would get the lead, and he would too. But she can’t tell her mom that that is why she doesn’t want to go.

(I’ve mentioned this story about Johnny Boddie already, but for those of you who haven’t read it, here it is again.  I had heard Emma talk about Johnny before I saw him for the first time at school.  Most of the time, Emma sounded like she got along with Johnny ok, although I could tell she wasn’t crazy about him.  She claimed he was pompous, arrogant, stuck on himself… Emma claimed Johnny was engaged, but later said his girlfriend moved out of state, but he was still engaged although he flirted with any girl around and dated other girls even though he claimed to be engaged.  I thought it odd that a high school junior would be “engaged” and questioned Emma about it, wondering if she’d misunderstood something, but she insisted and I let it go.  I didn’t really care one way or the other.

When I saw Johnny in the play, he and Emma definitely stood out among the other kids.  They both had great, booming voices, and did very well.  Some of the kids spoke too softly.  Emma’s role was more of a narrator, so Metamorphosis didn’t really show her acting skills, but it was the female lead.  Johnny’s acting showed more of a variety of his skills I guess you would say, and he was very good.  Emma told me that Johnny had had some community theater experience, and I would have believed it.

In one scene, Johnny wore swim trunks, and he had some sort of sunken area or indention in the middle of his chest.  Emma claimed Johnny had been run over as a child, and that’s why his chest was the way it was.  I have no idea if this story is true either.  As for the whole attempted assault that Emma insinuates in this letter, Emma is lying when she tells “Lacey” that she couldn’t tell anyone.  Emma got in the car and COULDN”T WAIT to tell me about it.  I believe it was the night of the Showcase, which was a bunch of short skits.  I don’t really remember the skits now, but I do remember that all the kids wore black, and they did a great job.  I think there were some monologues, some duos, trios, and group skits.  It was a lot of fun to watch. 

After the show, I waited on Emma in the lobby, and we walked out to the car to head home.  I had wanted to take Emma out to dinner or something, but it was already late, and she had school the next day.  Emma never functioned well when she was short on sleep, and trying to get her out of bed in the morning would have been a nightmare if I’d kept her out too late.  I don’t think we got home until around 10pm, maybe later.  We weren’t even out of the school parking lot when Emma started telling me the story about how Johnny had tried to kiss her.  Knowing how paranoid Emma could be, I wondered if Johnny had just gotten in Emma’s personal space and maybe she took it the wrong way.  Emma explained that she’d forgotten something backstage and when she went back to get it off a shelf or something, Johnny was there and leaned in like he was going to kiss her.  She said she slapped him and ran away.  I didn’t quite believe the story, and asked Emma a lot of questions.  Was she sure he was trying to kiss her?  Did he say anything?  What was he doing backstage?………  Or was it perhaps a young man who may have had a crush on Emma and tried to steal a kiss?  Who knows?   Emma insisted that Johnny tried to kiss her and she slapped him.  I told her that well, if that’s how it happened, i thought she handled herself pretty well.  There was never any threat of pressing criminal charges against Johnny.  Emma was fine.  She wasn’t raped.  She wasn’t upset.  The one thing that was a little odd was that Emma begged me not to tell her dad what happened.  I told her that her dad would be proud of how she handled the situation, but Emma insisted I not tell Phill.  If you’ve read the blog, you know I didn’t keep secrets from Phill, so I did tell him about it, and of course that came back to bite me on the butt when Phill mentioned it after church one day.  Emma was FURIOUS with me for having told Phill about Johnny’s attempted assault.

So, just why does Emma tell “Lacey” that she couldn’t tell anyone about Johnny’s attempted kiss?  She was dying to tell me about it! As I mentioned earlier, I did attempt to contact Johnny Boddie one time and told him I wanted to ask him some things about Emma.  His response did sound rather pompous and arrogant, although a classmate did describe him as arrogant , she also said that the story about the attempted kiss did not sound like Johnny.    Johnny claimed to have had minimal contact with Emma and he did not recollect any conversations over topics other than school or the play.  He also said something about I should have more respect for Emma’s privacy.  All well and good, Johnny Boddie, but had Emma accused you of sexual assault, like she did the priest, I’m sure you would feel a little differently. 

Another interesting point is when Emma said she looked to Johnny to know how to act in a school environment because she had never known one before.  Huh?  Emma was in school for 4 years (grades K-3) and then in a homeschool arts program where she attended classes.  Yes, it was a bunch of homeschoolers, but it was in classrooms with teachers and the students had to change classes, etc.  It was what I would certainly call a school environment!  But I guess Emma needed to sound a little more dramatic.) To Be Continued………..  

Sept. 25, 2009

Another fun thing to look forward to, Emma tells “Lacey” is that her mom was on the phone with her friend Sandi (Sandra Brooks McCravy, Sandi McCravy). Actually they are on the phone all the time, but this time it has particularly undesirable consequences. Emma heard them talking about Johnathan (Johnathan McCravy), Sandi’s son, that Emma hadn’t seen in four years. And her mom gets off the phone and says, expecting Emma to be duly thrilled, “Guess What? A new dance school opened up over in Gainesville, and Sandi and I have decided to put you and Johnathan in dance lessons together! You’ll be partners! Isn’t that great?” Oh, yeah. Great For a multitude of reasons: Emma is not coordinated. She hasn’t seen this guy since they were in middle school, and she thinks she is finally actually in her first real relationship (with Evan) but she is in dance lessons with another guy. It’s not fair. And there’s not much she can do about it.

Emma’s mom has also decided that she is missing out on regular high school life. She had no problem homeschooling Emma in middle school, or pulling her out of public high school, but now she’s decided she wants Emma to have a regular school experience. She’s not actually sending her to school, but Jord told Emma she could come to homecoming with her group, and Emma’s mom wanted her to go to that. No way. Shed be alone in a huge group of people she didn’t know while Jordan was flitting around chatting with her enormous group of friends and she would be miserable. So now she’s hoping Evan will ask her to homecoming. And, she doesn’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a dress when she could be saving it for Haiti. She knows her parents would help her, and we’re not exactly struggling like some people are, but money is tight right now.

Emma tells “Lacey” to let her know what is going on with “Lacey” and Aaron. She asks what “Lacey’s” sister thinks and says that maybe if her sister tells her “rents” she likes him it will help? He sounds really sweet, and as long as he treats “Lacey” right, Emma approves.  Emma says to tell him if he breaks her heart, she has a psychopathic pen-pal who will make him sorry he was born. (Just kidding…..maybe…)


Well, at one point Sandi and I did discuss putting the kids in some sort of ballroom class, thinking it would be good for them. Emma often complained she didn’t know how to dance, and Sandi and I thought they might have fun and gain a little confidence in a class. Emma’s eavesdropping skills were off though because it wasn’t in Gainseville. Gainesville would have been a long drive for both of us. The class was in Winder, between Sandi’s home in Lawrenceville and our home in Hoschton. It was something we talked about, but it never came to pass, and the quotes that Emma made up of me telling her they will be partners and “isn’t that great?” is completely fabricated. I just mentioned that we talked about the class and asked Emma is she would like to try it. Sandi and I both thought the kids would like it if there was someone else they knew there.

Emma claims that she hadn’t seen Johnathan in four years. I’m not sure why Emma choose to say that. Sandi had taken the kids out of the homeschool program we were in, so we did not see them every week like we had been, but we still got together now and then. At times, we were both so busy with our kids school and activities that we might talk on the phone several times a week, and only got the kids together a couple of times a year. Four years? I guess if you’re going to exaggerate, go big!

More exaggeration and fabrication; Emma’s friend Jordan did invite her to homecoming with a group of Jordan’s girl friends. Emma loved dressing up, and I thought she might like to go with a group of girls, and just have fun, so I told her if she wanted to go it was fine. I thought it was sweet of Jordan to include Emma, but Emma wasn’t interested. As for money, it wouldn’t have cost Emma anything, because her dad and I would not have expected Emma to buy a dress, etc. We would have taken care of it for her.

Emma also exaggerates the story about me wanting Evan to invite her to his homecoming. Emma had a major crush on Evan and talked about him all the time, but I was not trying to up my daughter’s dating life. I did want to encourage Emma to do things with other kids because all she pretty much did was sit in front of the computer. It just didn’t seem right.

And the psychopathic pen-pal? Kind of prophetic.

Sept 28, 2009

Emma tells Lacey she is sorry she forgot to mail this letter last week. She will finish it and send it today. She hopes. She did a lot of school work and has nothing to really tell until the weekend. Well, actually nothing to tell until Friday after school. That counts as the weekend, right? She got her first Happeneing letter Friday morning (the church retreat that Emma told “Lacey about). Emma and Rob are both on team, and she’s excited. After you’ve been once, you are “on team”. They have a lot of applicants, but Emma and Rob were in the 50 people they chose. Emma was one of the seven people they chose to give a speech, which “Lacey” will of course read and tell Emma what she thinks once Emma writes it…..but she will explain more about it later.

Emma talks about how the youth group was supposed to go on a camping trip to lake Hartwell, but they couldn’t go because of rain, so on Fri. she called everyone because they still needed to work out what music they were using for the Sock Hop. Emma told them to meet at the church and Phill and I were to bring them home for lunch. Emma claimed it’s always fun to call Jordan’s house because with the four kids, the phone is randomly thrown around until it reaches the person you are trying to talk to. Sometimes it takes a few minutes. Eventually she got through to Jordan, though, she probably should have talked to Alex since she is a bit more responsible than her older sister, Lol. Then she talked to Rob’s voicemail, which is all she ever gets because he and Jordan both randomly lose their cell phones, but they’re not at their house, so there’s not home phone to call. Then she called Evan, and they ended up talking for 20 minutes about nothing in particular, although she has no clue how that happens. Evan told Emma he liked her, but he never said anything else about it. Emma doesn’t know what to think! Is he going to ask her out? She thought he was, but now she’s not sure. She has no clue and asks “Lacey” what she thinks.

Saturday came, and the kids met at church, except that somehow Jordan decided it was Friday, even though she wasn’t in school, and was very surprised when Emma called asking where she was. Emma says she couldn’t get through to Rob, but that would be solved later in the afternoon. The kids came to our home, and Emma says that Jordan totally took over, hich was fine with her. She knew exactly what songs she wanted to use, she just needed Emma’s dad to put it together. Emma told Evan before Jordan got there that Jordan knew what she wanted to do, and the rest of them were just there to keep her in check. Emma says she was half joking, but that was pretty much how it went. While Emma’s dad put the medley together, the kids played ping-pong in the garage. They always have fun with that. Jordan brought her iTouch and speakers out there, so she was too distracted with that to play well. Emma served her an easy shot and she closed her eyes and blocked her face with the paddle. The ball bounced off into one of the many impossible places in the garage, so of course Evan’s going, “I can get it!” Yes, Emma says, I realize you could move the si bookshelves and 12 boxes of books and junk we have out there, but it’s just not worth it to get a ping-pong ball. We keep about 12, and when we run out, it’s time to clean the garage. The system works fairly well.

Rob called Emma at least three times, not sure whether he could come or not. Then he called to apologize for not coming. Emma says they tease Rob because he always apologizes for everything multiple times. Jordan loves to tell the story about when they were passing notes in study hall and she wrote, “You apologize too much.” And he wrote back, “I’m sorry.” So they were out playing ping-pong and Alex said, “Emma, you play Rob.” She meant Evan of course, and we all knew it, but Evan starts going, “I’m sorry Emma I’m really sorry…” which about killed them because it was just like Rob.

Ok, totally changing gears, Emma says she just got “Lacey’s” e-mail. First off, she says not to worry about talking too much about Aaron. Emma tells “Lacey” that she loves her and wants to hear everything she has to say. It is a huge first for “Lacey” and Emma says it is totally natural for her to be nervous and to think about him all the time. Emma mentions that they have talked about walls, and how she does the same thing. She is scared to let people in, and “Lacey” is literally the only person she is totally honest with. She is not a pathological liar, but she just doesn’t tell people what she is thinking. She knows “Lacey” does the same thing. It is easier when people think you have no problems and you’re this happy plastic person…

Or are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we’ll close the curtains
On our stained glass masquerade

Emma tells Lace that that is from by Stained Glass Masquerade Casting Crowns. It just ran through her head as she was writing, and it totally fits. What’s really funny is that “Lacey” said exactly what Emma has said for years. The more she lets people in, the more they can hurt her. That is exactly what Emma has struggled with. To give it a fancy psychologist name, it’s a trust issue. But someday “Lacey” will want to get married, and to do that, she has to trust Aaron. Yes, when he goes to college, he will meet other girls, but that temptation doesn’t disappear when he graduates! Just, hypothetically, let’s fast forward seven years and say they are married; there will be other women where he works other women at church, other women in the grocery store, and for “Lacey” there will be a ton of other men that she will meet and probably several that she will work closely with. They both have to trust each other! But for a relationship to be built on a firm foundation, that trust is not going to come overnight! Emma is glad “Lacey” doesn’t trust him immediately! She shouldn’t. If “Lacey” gives him her heart before he’s ready to take care of it, the chance of “Lacey” getting hurt goes waaay up. But if she date’s him for a year, keeps in contact while he’s in college, she’ll learn to trust him! Don’t worry about him finding another girl in college—there are other girls in high school! If he’s decided she’s the one he likes, then she has a ton of respect for him based purely on that. “Lacey” is sweet, smart, and classy. And that’s not going to change just because they don’t go to the same school anymore.

Emma says that “Lacey asks basically why she should give him a chance to break her heart? Emma struggles with the same thing, but whenever you start dating, you will have to eventually give someone the chance to do that. Emma wishes she could remember where she ready what she is about to say because she knows it was more eloquently phrased, but here it is: Your first love is taking a chance. You are letting someone else control whether you have to [sic] happiest time of your life or the most painful heartbreak. But that was from a secular perspective, so let Emma add a bit to it. God wants to save you from the most painful kind of heartbreak. Emma is not saying for a minute that “Lacey” would ever consider breaking the 7th commandment (thou shalt not commit adultery), Emma is just saying that if she did, losing him would hurt a hundred times worse. While Emma and “Lacey” may (and probably will) love and lose, they will never lose as badly as they would if they didn’t have God in their lives. And He will be by them every step of the way.

As far as for “Lacey” being nervous to talk to Aaron, Emma says that if he’s that understanding, he’s better than 95% of the guys out there, but “Lacey” will have to giver herself time to get used to this, and Emma promises it will get easier. “Lacey” will still love him, but she will get to the point where she’s not so nervous talking to him. And as for thinking of things she should have said, we all do that! Emma guarantees that every girl “Lacey” meets has been through the same thing. She’s surprised she can do so well texting, but if she can, good for her! And the more she texts, the more comfortable she will eventually be talking to him.

Emma talks about school and asks “Lacey” about a beach trip she took, and then gets back to walls, telling “Lacey” another thing about the walls: she thinks it’s easier for “Lacey” and Emma to talk because they aren’t talking face to face. Emma knows she could never tell “Lacey” everything she does if they were because it’s so hard to talk, but on paper, she can think until she knows what to say and then revise it until it makes sense. Texting is almost the same, but in face-to-face situations it’s really hard to know what to do, and Emma always wishes there was a backspace key.

Emma says she hopes she was some help and that she is more or less going through the same thing, so she doesn’t really have any experience to base her advice on. It’s just what she has read and what she’s learned watching other people. She tells “Lacey” to keep her updated and she won’t get tired of hearing it, and talking to each other helps both of them, and then signs off: Love ya!! Emma-Kate.

The ping-pong ball story is another silly exaggeration, and not quite the truth.

I find it interesting that Emma claims not to be a pathological liar, as well as how much advice Emma can give on relationships when, at that point, she’d never even been on a date. Interesting too that Emma is so interested in the 7th commandment, but doesn’t have any trouble breaking a few others.

Mother’s Day Update on Emma (Edited 5/12/15)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

When Emma was about 3, we got our first guinea pig, whom Emma named Milkbone, from the Atlanta Humane Society. She was a great little pig, and lived 5 1/2 years. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

When Emma was about 3, we got our first guinea pig, whom Emma named Milkbone, from the Atlanta Humane Society. She was a great little pig, and lived 5 1/2 years. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Getting Married Again ?

And Happy Mother’s Day!

Several people have asked me about Emma, so I will share a few things I’ve heard. I’ve been thinking about Mother’s Day lately, listening to friends making plans and such, and I wanted to send Emma a Mother’s Day message, but of course, I won’t send Emma anything privately because she would try to get a restraining order against me. Emma can contact me, but I cannot contact her. The rules according to Emma.
The last I heard, when Emma’s boyfriend in Ohio sent her packing, choosing his family over his girlfriend and the havoc she was creating for his family, Emma went home, moving back in with her dad and got a dog. She is majoring in counseling, so I assume she will be working on a Master’s Degree.
Emma blocked me from her facebook back in 2011, and she later changed her name on Facebook to Katie Smith. Sometime after that, she created another “Emma Roey” on Facebook, but did not block me from that one, so I keep seeing her name in the “People You May Know” section. I am assuming Emma wanted me to see this and she created this “Emma Roey” who lives in Seattle, so that people could find her easily and she could redirect them to her Katie Smith Facebook. I thought it was kind of funny for someone who has nothing to hide, don’t you think? You can block anyone from your facebook, so why would you need another identity? Maybe Emma’s hoping I will send her a friend request so she can work on that restraining order.

The new Emma Roey Facebook is very private, just saying that she lives in Seattle, worked at Ferrero Rocher (Yum!), Studied at the University of Washington, and her likes include such Christian sites as Focus on the Family, God is Good, Jesus Daily, Mike and Ike, Jewelure, Berricle (more jewelry) and Oreo.

Focus on the Family (Kind of Ironic, don't you think?)

Focus on the Family (Kind of Ironic, don’t you think?)

GodisGood
Jesus Daily

Jesus Daily

Emma always put a lot of pressure on herself with all the things she heard people say about being an only child, being homeschooled, being a Christian. Unfortunately, Emma lived up to all the negative stereotypes of all three of these. At one time, I thought she would set an example and clear up some of these stereotypes of how only children spoiled, selfish, etc., and how homeschoolers are weird and unsocialized, and Christians are hypocrites and better than everyone. I think Emma has also let a lot of children down who truly were sexually molested and abused. People that Know Emma’s story begin to doubt other stories they hear. Other victims will hear Emma’s story and be afraid to speak up because they will feel like if kids like Emma lied about being molested, who is going to believe their own story.

I heard that Emma will be leaving town again, which is no surprise. The longer Emma stays in one place, the more likely she’s liable to get caught in her lies.

Someone recently sent me a link to a page where one Emma Roey is getting married to a Jackson Miller in Cape Girardeau, Mo., Sept 19th 2015, exactly 3 months before Emma’s 22nd birthday. Whether this is my Emma Roey or some other Emma Roey, I have no idea. Whether Jackson Miller is a real person, or someone Emma made up so that she could have another fiancé. I probably shouldn’t be expecting an invitation. Perhaps Emma wanted people to think she is engaged again, I have no idea about that either. I was telling a friend about seeing the wedding announcement on a site called The Knot, and I told her that I’m not even sad for me. Yes, at one time, I was devastated utterly heartbroken about losing my husband and my daughter, but when I hear some of the things I’ve heard about Emma, I’m just sad———for her. I feel like Emma’s life is like watching that train wreck in slow motion. Emma will never have a normal life. I’m not sure even if she got “real” help she could have a normal life. Yes, she may get married one day, but it won’t last. It’s just sad to me to know what a disaster my daughter’s life is headed for. Emma can have a big, beautiful wedding, but slowly the ugly will seep back out. It can’t hide forever. Emma tries to make everything appear normal, but as another professional pointed out to me that Emma does exactly what mentally ill people do. She knows there’s something wrong, but she doesn’t want people to think it is with her, so she turns the tables on other people. This person was explaining to me how Emma felt trapped and cornered, so she had to turn on me a few years ago. Something about how mentally ill people have to get the focus off of themselves.

Since my divorce, I’ve had a lot of adventures that I wished I could share with Emma. Things I’ve wished I could tell her about. At one time, Emma and I could talk and talk and talk, but now I am everything that is wrong with her life. She needs someone to blame. Of course, the Emma I remember is not the Emma of now, and in fact never was the Emma I thought I knew.

I appreciate those who’ve asked how I am doing. I’m actually doing pretty well. I like my work, and people seem to like me. It’s funny to go from a very introverted wife and mom back into the working world. I laugh about something that happens at work and wish I could share it with Emma, but I can’t. I even thought how Emma would think I was a cool mom, rather than that boring stay-at-home mother she knew.
Recently, I took a class on line for the first time. I hated it, and I could understand why Emma spent all her time, when she was in school on line, instant messaging and writing letters instead of doing her school work. I could understand why she failed her Physics class. On line classes can be really boring!! Also, not being particularly tech savy, when I started the class, I was wishing Emma was around to help me navigate the on line class, but I managed to get through it.

The other day at work, I met someone who was talking about driving up north to help her granddaughter drive down with two little ones. I told her that I never would have been brave enough to make a drive like that alone with two little ones, so I thought it was great that she was going up to help make the trip. We got to talking, and I told her about when Emma was about 2, maybe 2 ½ and we were driving to New Jersey. We’d taught Emma the song, “You are my Sunshine” and we sang it a lot that trip. Phill was never one to stop and spend the night, so we would drive from Georgia to New Jersey in about 18 hours or so. Poor Emma was so fed up with sitting in the car seat that we started singing, trying to distract her, and Emma banged her little fists on the car seat and changed the words to:
You are NOT my sunshine
My NOT only sunshine
You make me NOT happy
When skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I NOT love you
Please don’t NOT take my sunshine away…
It was so cute, but Emma was NOT a happy camper on that long car ride!

People ask me about Emma, and you can almost see it in their eyes, “Thank God it’s not my child.” Because I work with the public, I’ve met many people who’ve been through similar things with their own children. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don’t. I’ve heard some stories similar to my own, and I’ve heard worse. I knew Emma wasn’t mine to keep, my job was to raise her and hopefully turn her into an responsible adult. What Happened? I don’t know. I just have to repeat something another parent told me. “We didn’t raise her that way.” I thought Phill and I had done a pretty good job raising Emma until the poop hit the proverbial fan. I remember so many times when she was about 16 thinking that we were almost there. I know high school is a difficult age, but if we could just get her to college, I knew she would love college and do well. Emma, with her high IQ, could do anything she set her mind to. For years, she wanted to be a pediatrician, and I thought she would make a great one. The thought of Emma being a counselor scares me, and I can’t tell you the number of people who know Emma who have voiced their fears about this. A psychologist told me that with what Emma did to her mother, this would definitely be the wrong career for her because of her lack of empathy. No doubt, Emma will be able to charm her way along for a while. I am just praying she doesn’t damage any other families in her career. Of course, I pray every day for Emma. I’ve accepted that I may never see her again in this lifetime. I hope she gets the help she needs, but all that is out of my control now, so all I can do is pray for Emma.

Well, Happy Mother’s Day Emma. You are always in my heart no matter where you roam. I’m sure Daddy is up at Joe Nall this weekend, so I’m guessing you either went with him or are at home. You’ve probably made plans to spend with your “other mommy” Sandra Brooks McCravy for Mother’s day. Have fun!

if at first

And thanks to my readers!  I will get back to posting Emma’s Letters to “Lacey” as soon as I can.  I’ve been very busy lately, but something that has been taking up a lot of my time is coming to an end soon, so I will have a little more time soon. And thank you for bearing with my errors and typos. I’m usually rushing to write, and I know I need to edit better, but for now, I’m just trying to get my thoughts down when I have a little time!