My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma and the Other Woman

I’ve wondered a couple of things about Emma and the other woman. First, I was the other woman, but I was too stupid to realize I was in a competition, and I lost. I also didn’t know the rules for playing against someone who has what I assume is an anti-social personality. They don’t play by the same rules as the rest of us, and they will do anything to win. If you fight fair, you don’t have a chance.

As I’ve written, I’m not sure that Emma has a conscience. Ok, as her mom who raised her for 17 years, I really don’t think Emma has a conscience. I would LOVE to be proven wrong, and I don’t think you, dear reader, can imagine how much I would love to be proven wrong on this. I want to think Emma has a heart and a moral compass, and I pray for God’s healing for her everyday, but I can’t say I’m hopeful. I think Emma is what she is. Supposedly 1 out of 25 people is a sociopath, and as much as I hate to say it, I think my daughter is one of them. I pray everyday that I’m wrong, but there is something very wrong with Emma. When you’re pregnant you worry about every little thing that could go wrong with the baby, and I was so happy Emma had all her fingers and toes and was a happy, beautiful baby, and I thought Phill and I could raise her to be a decent human being, someone who would make a positive difference in the world, but I never worried about my child having a personality disorder. That was never something that occurred to me. I could never have imagined what kind of person my daughter would turn out to be.

Emma loved cowboy boots when she was little!  I will never forget her wearing her pretty Christmas dress to church when she was three with her ugly brown (hand-me-down) cowboy boots!  It was precious!

So, if Emma is a sociopath, how does she feel about the other woman in her dad’s life? I can’t tell you the number of people who’ve said to me, “Oh, just wait until Phill gets a girlfried. She’d better look out! Emma will take care of her!” I’ve often thought that Emma got me out of the way, and that was her goal, so she probably doesn’t give her mother a second thought. Mission accomplished. But, then again, I’ve wondered if her dad having a new squeeze made Emma happy that she could stick it to her mother one more time or did she even think of that? Is she so wrapped up in her California life with Tyler, trying to prove what a grownup she is, that she doesn’t even care about having a stepmom? I’m reading and learning about personality disorders and people like Emma, but I know I will never be quite the authority like all of Emma’s therapists.

And, being the good little Christian girl that Emma is, I’m sure Emma wants her dad and Kim Chassion married and not living in sin anymore.

I’m sure at first, Emma will love Kim Chassion and call her “mom” like she called Sandra Brooks McCravy “Mommy.” And, in addition to another mommy figure, Emma gets a new “sister” in Sydney Chastain. Emma always wanted a sister and resented me for not having more children. She often said ugly things to me about being an only child and how I didn’t give her a sister, and she was always trying to adopt younger girls at church to be their big sister. At one time, I thought Emma was just being sweet to the younger girls, but now I think part of this was because Emma didn’t do well with peers her own age, so by gathering a flock of younger girls, she could be the authority figure and be in control, and be in charge, and they would listen to her and do what she wanted.

As for Phill, I mentioned that for 26 years, 9 months, and 14 days Phill loved being married, and I have no doubt that he wants to be married again, if he’s not already. Phill told me almost daily how happy he was to be married to me, and he often brought up that we had the longest lasting marriage in his family. Phill hates being alone and always missed me terribly whenever I was gone for more than a few days. In other ways, Phill wants to be married, so he can say, “This is my wife……….” and pretend that he is as normal as possible. He will no longer have to talk about his ex-wife, and we all know when you meet a 59 year old with a girlfriend, everyone speculates, “Is he divorced?” “Never married?” “What’s the deal?”

I have wondered what Kimberly Chassion thinks of our divorce? Are there any red flags going up? I’ve known a lot of women that will take a man, any man, just to have one and will not question anything he says because they want a man so badly, but I have wondered. Does Kim just blindly believe everything Phill says? Has she picked up on that there’s something not quite right with Emma yet?

I want to learn more about men and their midlife crises, and that it something I plan on reading more about in the future, but I just haven’t gotten to it yet. How do you go from telling your wife how much you love her and then turn on a dime and say you’ve “put up with a lot” and “there’s too much water under the bridge?” And then, instead of a sports car, you buy RC airplanes and travel the country being a pretend pilot, hanging out, talking toy air planes, and drinking beer with your buddies.

But I digress……….. Anyway, I think there will be sort of a honeymoon phase for Emma, and she will love her new mom and new sister at first. What Kimberly Chassion and Sydney Chassion need to know is that Emma will lie TO them and Emma will lie ABOUT them. That is just Emma. After I looked back on it, I realised Emma lied about almost everyone she ever knew. Phill choose not to believe Emma has a problem even though I pointed out lie after lie after lie, but deep down, he knows the truth. He just has to take the easy way, and not facing Emma’s problems is how Phill needs to deal with things right now. I loved my husband, and one of the endearing things about him was his easy going personality, but along with that easy going personality is a passiveness, and Phill doesn’t like to rock the boat. Phill doesn’t like to make the difficult decisions, I always had to, right up until he had me thrown out of our home, and then Emma took over as the decision maker of the family.

Whatever happens, Kimberly Chassion and Sydney Chassion will find out that life with Emma won’t be boring.