(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Liberty Township, Ohio at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, Merrie and Albert Knopp, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law, Sherry Buchheim lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.

Jan 1, 2014

I have had some topics rolling around in  my head, just things I want to work on, but I haven’t sat down to do it.  I think it is both painful and therapeutic to write, and I just need to get a little more organized in setting aside some specified writing time.  I want to tell Emma’s story, and if my experience helps even one other family, it will be worth it.

To those of you who’ve asked if I’ve heard any more from Emma, no, I haven’t.  I received a rather hateful e-mail from her in Sept., and that is it for the past 2 1/2 years.   I remember in the past meeting people who were estranged from a child, and I wondered how in the world they survived it.  Well, now I know.  You just do.  I thank God for friends and family because I’m not sure I would have survived this without the help of some very special people in my life.

I think from my  previous posts, we can pretty much establish that Emma has a lying problem.  She lies about people she knows, people she doesn’t know, people she likes, people she doesn’t like.  She lied about friends, neighbors, teachers, kids at school, people from church etc.  She lied about her best friends “Lacey” (cyber friend) and Kayla Benifield Weaver.  She lied about Kayla’s husband’s family, Kayla’s parents and grandparents who were all so generous to have Emma as a guest in their homes many times.  I had no idea how much Emma lied until I stated investigating.  Sadly, this is something Phill and I should have done much sooner, but we had no idea that Emma had such a problem with making up stories about other people.

I want to share more of Emma’s lies, and I may work on more of her stories, but if you’ve been reading the blog, I don’t think I need to share much more to convince anyone that Emma has a problem.  Some of the lies get more interesting when Emma started high school both at Jackson County Comprehensive High School and Jefferson High School, so I’m going to be working on these and will get to posting them eventually.  Some of Emma’s stories were downright entertaining even if they weren’t true.  I keep thinking back to when Emma was in about 2nd grade, the kids all voted on what they thought each other would be when the grew up, and Emma was voted most likely to be an author.  I guess she was good at telling stories even back then.

Emma also takes stories that happened to other people and makes them hers. She heard a story about her priest and his wife calling 911 on their child, and made the story about herself. She became the babysitter who had to call 911 on the priest’s child. She heard about someone else’s molestation and made the story about herself. She heard about someone else’s alcoholism and told the same stories to DFACS only changing them to her mother so that she could be the victim. I don’t know enough about what kind of diagnosis this would be. What do you call someone who steals other people’s experiences and then claims them for her own?

There are other topics that have been weighing heavily on my mind though, and I think these are what I want to work on now.  Sometimes, the thought of writing it out is pretty overwhelming for me, one who is so NOT a writer, and I appreciate you readers who bear with me and read through anyway. 

I would like to get a copy of the police report where Emma accused me of  physically abusing her, and I want to share that here as well as the events of that night.  I hope to get over to the Jackson County’s sheriff’s office in the next couple of weeks to obtain that.

Emma’s 17th birthday, Dec. 19th, 2010.  She got a notebook computer which she nicknamed Mark.  This photo was taken a couple of days before Emma called (or had someone else call) the police to say she was being abused.  This was also the day she went in her bathroom and kicked her cabinet so hard that she screamed and Phill and I ran in to see what happened.  She asked me to look at her foot to see if her toes were broken.  Later, she showed DFACSs and the police her foot and claimed that her mother kicked her foot.

Someone commented to me that Emma seemed to have an obsession with sex.  I’d never really thought that much about it until they pointed out to me how Emma used rape, molestation, abuse, and some of the other things she said about kids at school, how so many young girls were pregnant, how everyone she knew was sexually active, but Emma bought herself a “purity ring” and wore it.  Why did Emma accuse the priest who baptized her dad of molesting her? I think partly because Emma was upset with a boy who liked her and then dropped her, but Emma had been annoyed with the church for it’s liberal leanings.  Could that have contributed to her turning on her own church?

Another topic I’ve wanted to write about it therapy.  I’ve talked to numerous social workers, counselors, etc, and I’ve heard so many negative stories from other people about their own experiences with therapy.  Personally, I think therapy has it’s good points, and sometimes people need an outside opinion to help work through things, but after our experience, I definitely want to warn parents about therapy.  I’m not opposed to therapy or therapists, but one therapist told me they felt like 4 out of 5 therapists weren’t worth their salt.  That’s kind of scary, isn’t it?  I think in our case, we had a young lady who was too smart for her therapists.  I want to write about our each therapist and our experience with each. 

One more thing that has been weighing heavily on my mind is all the rewards Emma received for being a victim.   Emma really took advantages of friends of neighbors who wanted to help this poor, abused child.  She stayed with friends, neighbors, friend’s of Phill’s from his RC airplane group.  She was fed, treated like a beloved guest, taken out to eat, taken to plays, given clothes, taken to the beauty shop, etc.  The whole victim thing really worked out well for Emma.  She got a lot of attention.  I definitely want to share more about this.

Anyway, these are the topics that have been on my mind and probably what I will be working on next.

As always, if you have any questions or comments and don’t want to send them through the blog, you can contact me at:  losingemma@gmail.com