Posted on January 5, 2014 by losingemma

I want to change the name of the website since there is a teen novel called Losing Emma by J.L. Weil, as well as a short film with name Losing Emma that was part of some sort of 48 hour film festival. I have not read the book nor seen the film. The name Losing Emma was just what popped into my head when I decided to write about Emma’s story. I’m still thinking on this.

For those of you that may be wondering, I have offered to take down the blog and let Emma keep this between me, her dad, and herself, but Emma chooses to go on with her lies, so I’m going to call her out on it, even if it is from afar. I have wanted to contact some of Emma’s acquaintances to ask them for their input, and I do have list of all her facebook friends from not too long ago, but I don’t really feel like this is necessary. I would like to accumulate even more of Emma’s stories from people who came in contact with her, but I really don’t want to bother people by contacting them. During the divorce, my attorney told me I had plenty of documentation on Emma’s lies and really didn’t need any more. I think if you read through the blog, you can see that is the case. I’m just sort of curious and would like to know more about stories she told. (I’m sure the DDT story wasn’t the only outrageous tale Emma told!) I do plan on sharing more of the stories that I’m aware of, but I sort of want to go in a different direction right now and will get back to that later.

I think my next topic is going to be on our experiences with therapy from my point of view. Of course, I can’t tell you what Emma was saying to her therapists, but I can tell you what I saw, heard, observed, said, what was said to me by both Emma and her therapists. Someone suggested that I leave reviews for the therapists on review sites such as Yelp, and I am considering this. First, I want to write here about our experiences. Then, if I choose to write some reviews, I can add a link to the blog where the readers can see a little more about what I have to say. Parents need to be aware of what kind of risk you take putting your child in therapy. For so long, Emma treated me like her best friend. I was always the one she wanted to talk things over with. Silly me, because she had so few friends (She had many acquaintances, but I would not call them friends.), when Emma started therapy, I thought it would be good for her to have someone besides her mom to talk to. I had felt the same way about Sandra Brooks McCravy. She was really my friend, but I thought it was good for Emma to have another adult she could talk to. Knowing how teens are, I knew that being Emma’s mom, some things I said went in one ear and out the other. I was only her mom and not somebody cool to talk to.

Later on, when I get to discussing Emma’s time with Suzie A McGarvey, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, LLC http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com/ (Suzie was formerly with Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com/) I will go into how Emma was rewarded for being a victim. I will be mentioning a lot of names on the web site, but most are just incidental. There are a few personal details I will have to mention in regards to one couple that Emma stayed with, just because when I tell you how Phill helped them out, you will understand why they were so eager to return the favor and take care of a poor, abused child. I really don’t want to hurt anyone Emma took advantage of, and I don’t want to mention any children on the blog.

Next up: Emma’s Descent Into Therapy

What’s Coming in 2014

Posted on January 1, 2014 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Liberty Township, Ohio at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, Merrie and Albert Knopp, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law, Sherry Buchheim lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.

Jan 1, 2014

I have had some topics rolling around in my head, just things I want to work on, but I haven’t sat down to do it. I think it is both painful and therapeutic to write, and I just need to get a little more organized in setting aside some specified writing time. I want to tell Emma’s story, and if my experience helps even one other family, it will be worth it.

To those of you who’ve asked if I’ve heard any more from Emma, no, I haven’t. I received a rather hateful e-mail from her in Sept., and that is it for the past 2 1/2 years. I remember in the past meeting people who were estranged from a child, and I wondered how in the world they survived it. Well, now I know. You just do. I thank God for friends and family because I’m not sure I would have survived this without the help of some very special people in my life.

I think from my previous posts, we can pretty much establish that Emma has a lying problem. She lies about people she knows, people she doesn’t know, people she likes, people she doesn’t like. She lied about friends, neighbors, teachers, kids at school, people from church etc. She lied about her best friends “Lacey” (cyber friend) and Kayla Benifield Weaver. She lied about Kayla’s husband’s family, Kayla’s parents and grandparents who were all so generous to have Emma as a guest in their homes many times. I had no idea how much Emma lied until I stated investigating. Sadly, this is something Phill and I should have done much sooner, but we had no idea that Emma had such a problem with making up stories about other people.

I want to share more of Emma’s lies, and I may work on more of her stories, but if you’ve been reading the blog, I don’t think I need to share much more to convince anyone that Emma has a problem. Some of the lies get more interesting when Emma started high school both at Jackson County Comprehensive High School and Jefferson High School, so I’m going to be working on these and will get to posting them eventually. Some of Emma’s stories were downright entertaining even if they weren’t true. I keep thinking back to when Emma was in about 2nd grade, the kids all voted on what they thought each other would be when the grew up, and Emma was voted most likely to be an author. I guess she was good at telling stories even back then.

Emma also takes stories that happened to other people and makes them hers. She heard a story about her priest and his wife calling 911 on their child, and made the story about herself. She became the babysitter who had to call 911 on the priest’s child. She heard about someone else’s molestation and made the story about herself. She heard about someone else’s alcoholism and told the same stories to DFACS only changing them to her mother so that she could be the victim. I don’t know enough about what kind of diagnosis this would be. What do you call someone who steals other people’s experiences and then claims them for her own?

There are other topics that have been weighing heavily on my mind though, and I think these are what I want to work on now. Sometimes, the thought of writing it out is pretty overwhelming for me, one who is so NOT a writer, and I appreciate you readers who bear with me and read through anyway.

I would like to get a copy of the police report where Emma accused me of physically abusing her, and I want to share that here as well as the events of that night. I hope to get over to the Jackson County’s sheriff’s office in the next couple of weeks to obtain that.

Emma’s 17th birthday, Dec. 19th, 2010. She got a notebook computer which she nicknamed Mark. This photo was taken a couple of days before Emma called (or had someone else call) the police to say she was being abused. This was also the day she went in her bathroom and kicked her cabinet so hard that she screamed and Phill and I ran in to see what happened. She asked me to look at her foot to see if her toes were broken. Later, she showed DFACSs and the police her foot and claimed that her mother kicked her foot.

Someone commented to me that Emma seemed to have an obsession with sex. I’d never really thought that much about it until they pointed out to me how Emma used rape, molestation, abuse, and some of the other things she said about kids at school, how so many young girls were pregnant, how everyone she knew was sexually active, but Emma bought herself a “purity ring” and wore it. Why did Emma accuse the priest who baptized her dad of molesting her? I think partly because Emma was upset with a boy who liked her and then dropped her, but Emma had been annoyed with the church for it’s liberal leanings. Could that have contributed to her turning on her own church?

Another topic I’ve wanted to write about it therapy. I’ve talked to numerous social workers, counselors, etc, and I’ve heard so many negative stories from other people about their own experiences with therapy. Personally, I think therapy has it’s good points, and sometimes people need an outside opinion to help work through things, but after our experience, I definitely want to warn parents about therapy. I’m not opposed to therapy or therapists, but one therapist told me they felt like 4 out of 5 therapists weren’t worth their salt. That’s kind of scary, isn’t it? I think in our case, we had a young lady who was too smart for her therapists. I want to write about our each therapist and our experience with each.

One more thing that has been weighing heavily on my mind is all the rewards Emma received for being a victim. Emma really took advantages of friends of neighbors who wanted to help this poor, abused child. She stayed with friends, neighbors, friend’s of Phill’s from his RC airplane group. She was fed, treated like a beloved guest, taken out to eat, taken to plays, given clothes, taken to the beauty shop, etc. The whole victim thing really worked out well for Emma. She got a lot of attention. I definitely want to share more about this.

Anyway, these are the topics that have been on my mind and probably what I will be working on next.

As always, if you have any questions or comments and don’t want to send them through the blog, you can contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma and Kayla —–With Friends Like This…

Posted on November 16, 2013 by losingemma

Updated Nov. 22, 2013

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claimed she had to move in with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio to get away from her mother, and later claimed her boyfriend’s mother was afraid that her mother would show up and kill the entire family. (I have confirmed with the boyfriend’s mother that she never feared any such thing.)

Emma Kate Roey and Kayla Benifield Weaver at church camp in 2003. (Kayla is now a computer science student at Armstrong University in Savannah, Ga.)

Emma met Kayla Benifield at church camp in 2003 when Emma was 9 years old. Kayla was a couple years older. The two girls were in the same cabin and became friends. On the last day of camp, the parents come to see a performance, pick up their kids, and have dinner in the dining hall. Phill and I sat at a table with Kayla’s parents and grandparents. At one point, I told Kayla’s mom and dad that we’d love to have Kayla over to visit, and I got sort of a noncommittal response and sensed something odd. Later, I was to find out that Kayla’s parents were divorced, and Kayla was actually being raised by her grandparents who lived in Martin, Ga., but Kayla’s mom Sheree Benifield (later Barwise) lived not far from us in Buford. Later, she moved even closer to us in Hoschton. I never found out why Kayla’s grandparents were the ones who raised her, and I never asked. When I met Sheree, she was working for a vet and going to school. She seemed like a nice lady, and she was probably a good bit younger than I, so I always assumed maybe she’d married young and wasn’t equipped to be a single mom after the divorce.

Kayla came down to visit her mother now and then, and Emma and Kayla would get together a couple of times a year. Emma said Kayla only visited her mother twice a year because her grandparents had custody and that was all the time Sheree was allowed to have Kayla. Sometimes Kayla would come to our home and spend the night, but probably a little more often, Emma went to Kayla’s because Kayla was never down for very long, and we didn’t want to take away from time with her mom.

Kayla was always the perfect guest in our home. She was kind of quiet, shy, well behaved, and never a bother. She loved butterflies and had almost platinum blonde hair, and when she got a little older, she started dying some of her hair bright pink. It sounded odd when Emma told me about it until the first time I saw it, but it was cute and seemed to fit her personality. Anytime she was down visiting her mom, we were always happy to have her over, although that “we” usually meant me because when Kayla first started coming over, Phill was working out of town on the weekends. Of course, I was relegated to cook and maid, but at that time, we were homeschooling Emma, so it was always nice for me to get a break from her. As well as mom and teacher, and even though Emma was in many extracurricular activities, I was usually her playmate, breakfast, lunch, and dinner companion, the one she wanted to play a game with, sit and watch a movie with, and the one who read to her in the evenings before bed. During the 5 years that we homeschooled, I never got much of a break, so in addition to not having Emma constantly at my side, it was fun to be more of an observer and get to see Emma and Kayla having fun together.

I think Emma was in 10th grade when Kayla graduated and went off to Marist College in New York. Recently, I heard that Kayla married her longtime boyfriend, Blair Weaver. I wish Kayla and Blair a long and happy marriage.

Now that I’ve introduced you to Emma’s childhood friend, next post I will share some of the lies and stories Emma told about Kayla and her family over the years. I haven’t verified all these stories, but I will let the reader decide what sounds plausible and what doesn’t.

Emma’s stories about Kayla and her family may have started innocently enough. One of the first “stories” I remember would have been in about 2004, when Dan Rather, with CBS, attacked President George W. Bush’s service with the National Guard. Since Phill and I were fans of WSB talk radio, a radio was usually on in our home or our cars all the time, so Emma heard a lot about this story, and she learned a lot about politics.

Kayla had been down visiting her mom, and we’d taken Emma over to Sheree’s home to spend time with Kayla. After Emma got home, she said, “Mom! You are not going to believe this!! Kayla’s mom got married?”

She was right, I didn’t believe it because I’d have thought we would have heard about it when we either dropped off or picked up Emma, so I said, “She did? Who did she marry?”
“Dan Rather!”
I said, “Ha. Ha. Very funny, Emma.” And thought to myself that this was Emma’s funny sense of humor.

When Emma was little, maybe about 3 or 4, she got into “Knock Knock” jokes. It was always when we were riding in the car, and whatever she happened to see would become part of her joke.
“Knock, Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Tree.”
“Tree, who?”
“Tree, Lampost!” and then she would burst out into a fit of laughter.

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Cloud.”
“Cloud who?”
“Cloud, Stop Sign!” and again with all the laughter. It was so precious. This could go on and on and on, but I never got tired of it because each time, Emma laughed like she’d just told the funniest joke in the world.

But, the Dan Rather story didn’t seem to be a joke. Emma tried to convince me that Sheree had married Dan Rather, and that he was Kayla’s new stepfather. At first I went along with it and said things like, “Oh, really?” and “Hmmm.” And Emma went on and on until I finally said, “Emma, I know Kayla’s mom really didn’t marry Dan Rather.”

This just seemed to make Emma angry, and she tried harder and harder to convince me until I just let the subject drop and ignored anything else Emma said about Kayla’s mom and Dan rather.

I remember later telling Phill about it, and how I thought it was a joke, but how Emma got so upset when I didn’t believe her. It was just really odd behavior. You Psych people will have to tell me what you think, because to this day, I wonder if they way Emma was acting should have been an early warning sign of a potential problem.

Another early story was about Sheree’s boyfriend (now husband), Jeff. Emma might have been about 10 or 11 when we found out Sheree had a boyfriend. He wasn’t usually around when Phill and I dropped off or picked up Emma at Sheree’s house, so I can’t remember how we found out about him, but fine, whatever.

One day, after being over at Kayla’s, Emma and I were home, and she was talking about her visit. She mentioned Jeff, and I asked if he had any children, and Emma told me he had a three year old boy, but the boy lived with his mother. Oh, ok. Sounds plausible, right?

It had to be a year or so later when Emma had been over at Sheree’s home to see Kayla, and she was telling me about what they did that weekend, etc. and I asked if Jeff’s little boy had been over that weekend. Emma told me that Jeff didn’t have a little boy. I reminded her that she had told me some time back that he had a son. Emma denied it, and I figured it wasn’t worth arguing about, and thought perhaps she’d been confused. Maybe it was a neighbor who had a three year old or whatever and Emma didn’t have the story straight. I let it go, but it bothered me for quite some time because it just seemed odd. Later, when I found out about many of the lies Emma had told, I wondered if this was one of those times where she didn’t know the answer when I asked if Jeff had any kids, so she just made it up.

As Emma got older, her lies got more interesting and a little more vicious. More to come……….

Mental Illness? Personality Disorder? Or Lack of Conscience/Character?

Posted on November 5, 2013 by losingemma

(Edited and Updated Nov. 10, 2013)

Some time back, one of Emma’ friends called me to fill me in on some things Emma was saying at the time. Some things were about me, and some things were about others. I was wondering about Emma’s propensity for telling stories about others. Is she deliberately lying just to talk or for attention? Does she lie to hurt people, although many folks don’t often know what she says about them? I was speaking with this friend, and I asked if this person thought Emma actually believed that she was sexually molested by a priest and did she actually believe that the mother who raised her, homeschooled her for 5 years, took care of her, loved her, encouraged and took her to any extracurricular activity she wanted to try, etc. could actually have hurt her. I was a little shocked and saddened when this person, someone close to Emma, told me they thought Emma was very manipulative and knew exactly what she was doing. I am also saddened to say that this answer didn’t surprise me. I think I knew this all along.

Isn’t that an odd place for a mother to be? You love your child, and you do the best you can to raise them to be a decent human being, and then you find yourself in a place almost wishing she were mentally ill just to explain the horrible things she’s done. I’ve never liked dealing with mental illness. I’ve known people with it, seen how it affects families, and often it is just too difficult. There aren’t any easy answers and everyone hurts. Often, there is no happy ending. Yet, here I was thinking I’d rather believe my child is mentally ill than to believe she would do all the hateful, hurtful things she’s done with no regard for anyone but herself. I tried to raise Emma to do right. It’s not complicated. Just do right, or in the psychobabble that Emma loves so much, to “Make Good Choices.” Instead, I am wondering if I raised a child lacking character, and perhaps even lacking a conscience. Also, Emma is a coward.

A few mental health professionals that I’ve spoken with have suggested that Emma could have a personality disorder such as antisocial personality, delusional thinking, schizophrenia, etc. I will go into more on these later. Of course my knowledge is very limited on these topics, but my knowledge of Emma runs pretty deep.

I have a lot to say on Emma’s descent into therapy as well, and will tell you all about our experiences with Emma’s therapists:
Suzie A McGarvey, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, LLC http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com/ (Suzie was formerly with Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com/)
Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett, Manna Treatment,http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff
Dr. Richard Born, Applied Psycholocgical Health http://appliedpsychhealth.com/
Rachelle Hutchinson, Emily Kirby,Tamesha, Candace Whitman, of the Social Empowerment Center (DFACS therapists) http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com/
Heather Thompson, Jefferson High School, counselor http://jhs.jeffcityschools.org/faculty-directory.html
Peachford Hospital (Charter Peachford) http://www.peachford.com/
Jackson County DFCS http://dfcs.dhs.georgia.gov/jackson-county-dfcs-office

Another goal of mine is to expose Emma’s lying. As I mentioned before, I’d been thinking a lot about Emma’s lying and wondering how far back it goes. When did Emma cross over from normal childhood lies into something worse?

In the coming pages, I will document more of Emma’s lies since that is what has been heavily on my mind. Emma told so many stories about school (when she did go to public school), kids she knew from school and church, pastors (Priests), choir directors, teachers, drugs and sex going on in school, pregnant teens (some of this I’ve already mentioned if you skim around the blog). Did Johnny really try to kiss her when they were in the play together at Jackson County Comprehensive High School? And why did Emma tell me one story, but make it sound so much more sinister for her friend “Lacey?” (I’ll share more about this later. I have to go through all of Lacey’s letters again to find it.) Emma claimed that Johnny was in 11th grade and was engaged. Really? Were all the girls who worked on the backstage crew at JCCHS really lesbians?

Coming up next, I’m going to share some stories Emma told about her friend Kayla and Kayla’s family. Emma and Kayla were friends from about 4th grade, and now Kayla is a married lady. Over the years, Emma told stories about Kayla, her husband, her sister-in-law, her mother, and grandparents. When I share what Emma said about these folks, you are going to wonder, with friends like this………………..

A Worried Mother…..

Posted on October 15, 2013 by losingemma

Thank you to the person who sent this to me. Very cute, and oh, so true!

Strange Behavior from an “Abused” Child

Posted on October 3, 2013 by losingemma

Oct. 3, 2013

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Ohio at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.

Emma loved having very finely tweezed eyebrows.

I’ve been thinking about a few things that I thought about some time ago, and for some reason, they popped back into my thoughts.

How do abused children act? Emma told her therapist Suzie McGarvey of Lanier Counseling (Now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Suwanee, Ga.) during our March 14th, 2010 visit, that she wanted to go to a group home because she didn’t want to be in the same home with her mother.

Let me tell you how Emma was acting up until a couple of days before March 14th when she hatched this little idea.

Emma had pretty much quit going to PetsMart for Adoptions on Saturdays, and I usually went alone. She begged off saying she had too much school work, but I think the real reason was that she could not face our friend Janice, at whose home she stayed during her first accusation of abuse. Emma had adored Janice, and Janice loved Emma. That Christmas, since Emma had taken up sewing, and Janice was an excellent seamstress, Janice bought Emma a sewing basket and all kinds of notions she needed for sewing, and at my suggestion was going to give Emma a sewing day, where she could come over with whatever she wanted to make, and Janice would be there with her expertise to help her. I thought Emma would love this. She thought the world of Janice and spending the day with her, sewing, sounded like a great gift.

After all the lies Emma told to Janice’s face (You can read them in another part of the blog.), I think Emma couldn’t face Janice. Janice knew the truth about Emma and knew that Emma could look right at her and lie. Once someone caught on to Emma, she no longer had any use for them.

So………….getting back to my topic about the abused child. A couple of weeks before Emma wanted to be removed from our home, I came home from Adoptions, tired out, and Emma was jumping around, acting all silly, begging me to take her shopping. It was the last thing I felt like doing, having had been out most of the day, but I wonder how many abused children beg their abuser to take them out. Don’t abused kids typically avoid their abuser?

If I had been paying attention, I would have caught on to Emma’s actions. Up until a couple of days before March 14th, when Emma hatched her little plan to get out of the house, Emma was always very affectionate. Before she went to bed, she would hug me and kiss me when she said good night. If I were in bed, reading, she would lie on the bed next to me and want to cuddle and talk for a while before she went to bed. I remember how a couple of nights before March 14th, this stopped. I just let it go, figuring she was being a moody teenager, but it was much more than that. Emma was a cold, calculating young woman, and had I been paying attention, I’d have realized she had something up her sleeve, having seen her act this way before.

Another thing Emma did has to do with her eyebrows. In 9th grade, when Emma was going to Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she rode the bus and sat with 4 other girls from our neighborhood. At first, Emma was crazy about riding the bus with them, and said she would never go back to being homeschooled. After a month or so, I’m not sure what went on, but maybe she just wasn’t fitting in. Emma complained to me about school and told me she wanted to be homeschooled again. She accused me of giving up on her. One of the girls on the bus later told me that Emma complained about the school and exaggerated the drug problems of the high school. Emma complained about there being too many lesbians in the drama department, and she complained about the black kids getting special treatment at school.

One of the girls Emma rode the bus with, was the daughter of a beautician. One day, this young lady plucked Emma’s eyebrows into a very thin line. It looked fine, but being somewhat lazy about my own make-up, it was not something I would have attempted on me, but if Emma wanted to do it, that was up to her. She liked the look, but when her eyebrows started growing back in, she realized that this look took a little maintenance. Emma did it herself for a while, and she went a little too far and took out the middle of her eyebrows so it looked like she had two half brows over each eye. It looked pretty odd, and I got on to her about not over-plucking her brows.

Emma didn’t like plucking her eyebrows herself, so she would come to me with a pair of tweezers and put her head in my lap, wanting me to pluck her eyebrows. I didn’t really mind, as it seemed like another time we would have some “girl talk” as I plucked her brows for her. I am wondering though, does this sound like the behavior of an abused child? Later on, when I mentioned to Phill how Emma hugged and kissed me every night (while often “forgetting” to say goodnight to her dad), Phill tried to claim that Emma only did this because she would have to face my wrath if she didn’t say goodnight to me. Uh, yeah. Right. I guess he thought I went into a wrath if I didn’t get to pluck her eyebrows too. Yep, I lived to pluck those eyebrows. My day just wouldn’t have been complete otherwise.

Coming up Next, the movie that influenced Emma’s decision to accuse a priest of sexually abusing her.

About Those Criminal Charges…

Posted on August 4, 2013 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Ohio with her some of her boyfriend’s family, attending Wright State, and talking about getting marriede.)

A few people contacted me by phone or e-mail, concerned that I was actually going to be facing criminal charges, but that last post was more of a joke. (It’s been 2 1/2 years of hell, but I have survived with my sense of humor intact.) Emma did not do her research this time and has been going around telling people that her mother poisoned her over the years with DDT. She claims to have the toxicology report that proves it. Those of you who know Emma know that she had issues with frequent vomiting, so her excuse is that she threw up because her mother was poisoning her. Depending on whom her audience is, she may accuse me of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy or outright attempted murder. Sometimes she has claimed that I started poisoning her because I was angry that she was “molested.” My attorney would love to have a copy of the toxicology report, but I think we’ll be waiting quite a while on that one.

(As for the Van Munchausen by Proxy, no, Emma, I did not enjoy all those doctor visits, hospital visits, tests, etc. It was definitely not my idea of fun, but something I did because I wanted you to get well.)

I’ve recently heard some things Emma has been saying about her fiance’s family.. Of course, I don’t know what is true and what isn’t, having never met these folks, but I think when some of these stories get back to the Buchheims, Emma my wear out her welcome with Tyler’s family. Tyler’s grandparents have so graciously taken her in so that she could live closer to Tyler.

Of course, as a mother, I want to see Emma get her act together, try to make amends for some of the damage she has done, and get on the right path. It is difficult and painful to see this very bright young woman, who once dreamed of being a pediatrician, a politician, a nurse, or a counselor, hurting so many people. She had such a promising future, and she still could, but right now, I’m afraid for anyone in Emma’s way of getting what she wants. One of my biggest fears is that Emma seems to lack a conscience.

Early on, when Emma turned on me, I saw something like this on a friend’s facebook page:

I was afraid to post it because Emma would probably accuse me of threatening her. In may case, just ignore the part about “hunt you down” and “stalk you.” I just want to make that clear, otherwise Emma’s going to be calling the police and accusing me of stalking her. Right now, I feel pretty safe posting this while she is in Ohio, and I am several states away!

Again, I thank those of you who have contacted me and offered encouragement or shared your stories about your experiences with Emma. If you want to contact me privately, you can do so: losingemma@gmail.com I will keep all e-mails confidential.

More to come…..

Sandra Brooks McCravy lying for Emma

Posted on June 18, 2013 by losingemma

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Emma Ready for Marriage?

Posted on February 26, 2013 by losingemma

April 15, 2013

Thanks to those of you for the e-mails of encouragement that I have received, and for your concern because I haven’t posted in a while. I had a few weeks of internet problems and then I was out of the country for 3 weeks, so I am back, ready to get to work and finish writing the story of Emma. And to those of you who asked how I am doing, I am doing well, thanks. Yes, I was devastated for quite some time over what Emma did. I felt like I’d been hit by a truck I never saw coming, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I’m getting stronger everyday. I am fortunate enough to have work that I like and know I make a difference. I work with some great people. Amazingly enough, I have a pretty great life. God is good. That doesn’t mean I still don’t have some bad days. Talk to someone who was falsely accused, and it’s something you never completely get over, but you get back on your feet, take charge, and go on.

What can you say about a child whom the Dr. Phil show would like to have on as a guest? I recently received calls from two of the assistants from the show. Anyone that knows me knows I am a fairly private person, so tv is not my cup of tea, but I think Emma would love the attention except for the fact that she would be too afraid of someone would get to the truth.

Later, I will be posting some of Emma’s writings on her need for control. Emma got control, but at what cost? Cost doesn’t matter as long as she got what she wanted. She destroyed her parents marriage and her lies cost her dad a ton of money. In addition to wrecking two cars that her dad got her, the attorneys fees were huge, her dad lost half his IRA, 401K, and his pension. He also had to refinance our home which, at the time, was almost paid for.

Sometimes, thinking along the lines of cartoon superheroes, I wonder what Emma could have accomplished if she had used her powers for good instead of evil. Look at how much she’s accomplished. Yes, she did some horrible things, in fact, quite a few horrible things. Imagine what Emma could have done if she put all that energy into doing something good instead of destroying the reputation of a priest and of her own mother. Does Emma have a conscience? Is she a pathological liar? Another form of mental illness? I will be sharing the story and you can make the decision for yourself.

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now attending Piedmont college in Demorest, Ga. She has been telling people she is engaged to a young man named T. . Emma does not care who she hurts to get what she wants, and I hope for T’s sake, Emma gets some help before she gets married. )

I have been very busy and have not had a lot of time to work on the blog. Thank you to those of you who have written, asking how I am. I will continue to tell the story of Emma. It may just take me a while to get it all down.

As you can see from some of Emma’s posts to Pinterest, she definitely has marriage on her mind. I find this interesting after her lies so greatly contributed to destroying her own parents’ marriage. Emma had no respect for her own parents’ marriage, so it will be interesting to see what happens in her own. I can’t tell you how many people have told me Emma will find out the hard way when what goes around comes around. Several people have also me they believe in karma, and that Emma is setting herself up for a fall. Personally, I feel like starting out a marriage on as many lies as Emma has under her belt is a disaster waiting to happen.
I did receive a not from T’s mom, S. of xxx, who said Emma and T. are not engaged, so I really wonder why Emma is telling people she is. Perhaps she is, perhaps she isn’t. Either way, she’s got marriage on her mind.

Chapter 1 The Big Lie That Started it All

Posted on January 20, 2013 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now attending Piedmont college in Demorest, Ga. She has been telling people she is engaged to a young man named T. Emma does not care who she hurts to get what she wants, and I hope for T.’s sake, Emma gets some help before she gets married. )

Why would a child make up a story about rape? Let me give you some details of what was going on with Emma in Dec. of 2010, when Emma made up the rape story about on on-line friend she had never met in person. Could all this have been over a boy? Read on and see what you think.

On Emma’s 16th birthday, her dad and I went to pick her up at her church youth group. Upon entering the parish hall, Emma ran up to me to tell me that her on-line friend from an English class pen-pal project had called her during her youth group meeting. Emma claimed that the friend, whom I will call “Lacey”, called Emma from the hospital after being raped. Emma was so shocked and shaken up, I really believed something had happened, but the whole thing seemed so bizarre. Emma went off with her friends, and I talked to one of the youth group leaders for a few moments, sharing with her what Emma had told me. One of the youth leaders had gotten a cake for Emma’s birthday, so everyone had cake and ice cream at the end of the meeting. Later, when we got in the van to leave, Emma was very angry with me for talking to the youth group leader about what she told me.

Over the next few days, Emma claimed she tried to call Lacey several times, but couldn’t reach her. She said she spoke to her older sister. Over that week Emma changed the story and said that Lacey had been raped some time previously and was in the hospital because she tried to commit suicide. Emma said Lacey’s extended family had been over for a family gathering, when Lacey had taken some pills, laid down on her mother’s bed, was found unresponsive by a family member, and then taken to the hospital. I did not know Lacey or her family, so I was not going to call them about such a personal matter. This turned out to be a big mistake. Later on, Emma said that Lacey told her that the man who raped her threatened to kill her family if she told anyone who he was so Lacey was afraid to talk about what happened. Over the next couple of months , I asked Emma how Lacey was doing . Emma said that Lacey was in therapy and didn’t want to talk about what happened. Emma told me that Lacey also had been molested as a child and volunteered with a group at her church that counseled or supported other victims of molestation.
Sometime during the summer of 2009, Emma told me that Lacey’s mother had breast cancer. She said Lacey had been homeschooled, but was going to public school for 10th grade because her mother was too sick to homeschool her. Emma told me that Lacey had called or texted her to tell her that her mother was hospitalized several times that summer. On at least two occasions, Emma told me that Lacey’s mom was in the hospital and was so sick, that the doctors thought she might not survive. Later, I was to find out that about the only truth to all the things Emma said was that Lacey’s mom did have breast cancer, but she was never hospitalized and never close to dying. She did outpatient Chemo and was never on death’s door as Emma led us to believe.

What would make Emma create such a bizarre story about her friend? Was it so she could get upset at youth group, feign concern about an emergency phone call, and let all her friends know how upset she was?

Over the summer and fall, Emma had been spending a lot of time around a young man in the youth group. The two of them seemed to like each other, and it was all very sweet, but after a while the young man pulled away from Emma. While it is my goal to get to the truth, it is not my wish to embarrass Emma as to why the boy lost interest in her, but Emma was still very interested in this young man. She talked about him frequently, had told me that he said he loved her, and said that when his dad was visiting from Va., the boy wanted Emma to meet him. I thought that seemed like a stretch considering the two had never even been on a date, but I just let it go.

I’ve spoken to a psychologist, a couple of social workers who work with problem children, and a Ph.D. counselor who told me that teenage girls often get so engrossed in young love, thinking that their love interest is “the one” whom they will spend the rest of their lives with, that these young girls don’t take it well when they are rejected. Is that what happened with Emma? She didn’t get the boy she wanted, so she made up all this drama? Did she just want attention, or was she hoping all the drama would get this boy’s attention? Kids lie all the time. We all know that, but wasn’t this a bit extreme? All this over a boy?