Tag Archives: Southeast Electric Flight Festival

The Car, the Card, and the Kitten

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her current husband, Tyler Buchheim live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, who has put architecture on hold, is studying to be a Full Stack Developer at the Flatiron School in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis (according to Tyler).  Emma works in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area as an insurance underwriter.   Emma and Tyler are the parents to two little dogs, Arya and Sansa.  (Emma is a huge Game of Thrones fan.)  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Part One, The Card (So, I went out of order.  Sue me.)

(There’s some alliteration for you, Emma. Remember learning that when we homeschooled?”)

Ok, so this post isn’t really about Emma, it’s just about life. Since a lot of you are estranged parents, divorced, struggling, and so on, you will get this. It’s just the daily things. The adventures in singledom. I once had a husband who took care of a lot of things and didn’t want me to handle the banking, the bills, the investments, the retirement, etc., and to be honest, I didn’t like dealing with car stuff or workmen on my own. I preferred Phill to be home if someone were coming to the house.

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Emma and Phill at SEFF.  Southeast Electric Flight Festival

The cars were always in Phill’s name, and he always took care of the registration during his birthday month (March 21, 1958—my husband just turned 60!), except for a couple of times when he didn’t. One time, I was driving Emma to private school—-about 24 miles one way—the price we pay for trying to do what’s best for our children (sigh), and I got pulled over and got a ticket because Phill had forgotten to renew the registration. I was embarrassed and thought it had to be a mistake, but it wasn’t. Phill just forgot. Later, I asked him how much the ticket was, and he said, “You don’t want to know.” and I never did ask again. I looked it up these days, and it’s about $125-135. I don’t know why Phill said I didn’t want to know. I had assumed it was a lot more than that. Emma, I think, was in kindergarten. She was still in a childseat, and I remember the officer handing me the ticket and telling me that he appreciated that I had my child buckled in safely. I guess it’s always good to give someone a compliment when you’re about to ruin their day.

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Later on, Emma had made her big announcement of being sexually molested by the priest on Phill’s birthday, March 21, 2010, Phill was so distracted by everything that was going on, dealing with the church, the police, and poor Emma who was traumatized by her “repressed memories,” Phill forgot again and I got stopped again. I was driving down Hwy 124, near Mill Creek High School, when the police pulled over everyone. There were a bunch of police cars there. Spike, my lab/mix was in the back seat, hanging his head out the window, and I think the only reason I didn’t get a ticket was because Spike was a big, friendly goof and the police officer seemed to like him. For whatever reason, he let me go without a ticket that time.

Fast forward to April of 2018. I am having some car trouble, and my car is stuck in 2nd Gear (which will be Part 2 of the story, The Car.) so I can’t drive it on the highway, and I’m driving back roads to work and being jerked around by the car dealer on when my car parts will be in. This was actually sort of a blessing in disguise because it is spring, flowers and trees are blooming, and I live in a rural area with a lot of horse farms. It was such a pretty drive, that I didn’t miss going down the highway, even though it took a little longer,  With the car problems, even on back roads, I was usually going about 30mph, and I know people were pulling up behind me wondering what the heck was wrong with this old lady who’s driving so slow. I wanted to dye my hair blue. I thought about putting a sign on the car that said, “Stuck in 2nd Gear” or “Go Around” and then I thought both “2nd Gear” and “Go Around” would make good names for a rock band.

On this little country road, I take for most of the 13 mile trip to my job, there is 3-way stop. One morning, I was going in to work late, about 1030am, when I noticed the police conducting a traffic stop at the 3-way stop. I thought this a little odd at this time of day because there wasn’t much traffic on this little road. It just didn’t seem like a busy enough road to have a traffic stop on, but what do I know?

As I pull up and stop on this beautiful spring morning, I roll down the window, and a young officer comes up and tells me they are just checking licenses and insurance. “Oh, ok. Sure.” I pull out my license and hand it to him. The officer takes my license and walks behind my car like he’s looking at the plate, with my license. I really wondered what he was doing, but wasn’t going to ask. He comes back and hands me my license and asks for my insurance card. Figuring that that was what he was going to ask, I had already opened my glove box and pulled out a stack of papers.

As I said, Phill always took care of the car stuff, so since Phil had me thrown out of our Buck Trail, Hoschton home in April of 2011, I had always just stuck whatever car stuff there was in the glove box. Every-time I got a new insurance card, I put it in the glove box, and the same with my registration, the owners’s manual, or anything else that had to do with the car.

I pull out a wad of paper and grab one on top and hand it to the officer. “Here’s my insurance card.”

“Ma’am, this card is from 2015.” (I love southern officers. They are so polite.)

“Oops. Ok, wait a minute.”

I flip through the paper and see on that has the correct year on it and hand it to him. “Here it is.”

“Ma’am, this is your registration.”

He hands it back to me, and I look at it. Yep, he’s right. I start flipping through all these papers. “I know it’s here. I remember putting it in the car. Apparently I don’t throw anything away.”

The officer says, “That might be a good thing.”

(Pause……………………………………………………)

“Ma’am, I’m just going to take your word for it.”

I was dressed professionally and wearing my name badge, so it’s not like I looked like some bum, but I really wanted to find that card.

“No, wait a minute. I know it’s here. Here’s 2016. Here’s 2017. Wait. I’m getting closer.”

“Ma’am it’s ok. You can go.”

“But I know it’s here.”

“Really ma’am, you can go. Just make sure you have it in the car when you get home tonight.”

I always thought the police could check your insurance with either your license plate or your driver’s license, but I don’t know and thought it was probably best not to ask, so I drove on it to work, and when I got there, I flipped though all those papers and found it! Sure enough, I did have it!  I almost wanted to turn around and drive back to show it to him.

To be continued……………..Part Two will be, The Car—- and dealing with car dealers, or being a woman in a man’s world, or……… In the end, there was a great service manager who knew I’d been treated poorly and he took over and made things right, but boy was it two weeks worth of aggravation!

The Apology That Never Came, Part 3

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, who has put architecture on hold, is studying to be a Full Stack Developer at the Flatiron School in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis (according to Tyler).  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

The Apology that Never Came Part 3

I Thought My Husband Was a Better Man

All throughout the divorce process, I thought my husband would have to come to his senses. I was so wrong. I made a lot of mistakes during the divorce because I believed in my husband and just knew sooner or later he would do the right thing. I didn’t know what was going on in his head, and yes, I think part of it was a midlife crisis. All of a sudden, Phill was free and he had Emma at home to take care of things there, so he could spend as much of his free time as he wanted traveling the country going to RC airplane events and hanging out with his RC buddies, drinking beer, flying planes etc. Sooner or later, Phill would have to face the truth. Emma was a big fat liar. While Phill was off playing with toy airplanes and driving around the country, I was researching into a lot of Emma’s stories and finding out more and more lies. It seemed almost everything Emma had ever told us was a lie.

Once Emma called me from a church youth group meeting, making fun of Phill. She claimed she was so embarrassed by her dad trying to act all cool, saying dumb things and doing the fist bump thing with her friend and sometimes crush Rob Simmons. When Phill got home, I asked him what in the world he was doing and he said he only said hi to Rob and shook his hand. That is just an example of how easily Emma lied. She didn’t even have to plot and scheme to make up a story (although she did that at times, too). The lies just came out so easily.

Emma often lied about doing her chores and all the things I thought were regular kid stuff, but something that stuck in my head was how you could catch Emma red handed and she would still lie. Like a lot of good moms, I tried to limit Emma’s sweets, and we had to lock up any candy, chocolate chips, and even marshmallows or they would disappear. One day, when making a cup of tea, Emma turned up the Sugar container (the glass kind with the metal top, like you find in a diner) and dumped a heaping helping of sugar into her mouth, and I said, “Emma! Don’t eat sugar straight out of the container.” and Emma looked right at me and denied it. I was right there in the kitchen and saw her and she kept denying it. I never understood that part of Emma either.

I knew my husband was a good man, and he was going to have to come to his senses sooner or later. Emma had lied about so, so much. How could he still believe she was molested by the priest? When I emailed him other examples of Emma’s lying, Phill refused to discuss Emma with me. I kept researching and thinking that maybe the next example or the next would help Phill realize what a mistake he made in the way he treated his wife. Well, I’m still waiting for Phill to come to his senses.

During the divorce, I believed sooner or later Phill would face the truth, apologize, and we would get back together, that’s how stupid and naive I was. I always believed my husband was a good man who would take care of his family. I thought Phill believed in our marriage, and would realize it was worth saving. Wrong again.

Maybe coming from a divorced family had something to do with Phill’s handling of Emma’s problems. Phill came from a family who just walked away when things got tough. I’d heard his mother often say that life was too short to be unhappy, and Phill’d been brought up seeing his mother with two failed marriages and multiple boyfriends. I always thought I’d gotten the prize in that family, Phill, who didn’t want to be like the rest of his family and was committed to his marriage. We were a loving couple, and happy, and I thought we set a good example for Emma of what a good marriage was, and I hoped when she married, she would realize that having two loving parents, who loved each other was indeed a blessing. I never thought I’d be competing with my own daughter for my husband, but that’s what happened. Emma became Phill’s second wife until she married Tyler.

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Emma studying her monologue when when she was taking Drama under Bonnie Roberts and Jackson County Comprehensive High School.  All those drama classes paid off!  Emma, did you ever return that book to Ms. Roberts?

Interestingly enough, on the side of the statistics, I have two sisters who have both been married about 35 and 42 years (if my math is right). Both couples have faced some of life’s difficulties, and yet they have stayed married. Also, both my brother-in-laws came from intact homes. Phill fit right into the profile of a child of divorce. Sadly, I saw my sisters and their husbands face challenges and I always thought I was so lucky I was married to Phill because we would be able to get through whatever difficulties came our way. I believed in my husband that much. Yep, wrong again.

One of the mistakes I made during the divorce was to let Phill have the house. Of course, at the time, I thought Phill would wake up and we would get back together, so I wasn’t going to destroy our home. I should have forced Phill to sell the house, or to live in it until the market appreciated and then sell it.

By throwing me out of our home, Phill the advantage and kept EVERYTHING. I think of some of the gifts he got me for my birthday, Christmas, etc., and hope he and Kim Chassion are enjoying my things. The only things Phill put in the storage locker for met to have were personal items such as books, clothes, and old records, and not even all of my records. You would think that Kimberly Chassion, having her own home, in I think it was Auburn, Ga, would not want her new man’s ex-wife’s things. That just seems odd. Or maybe Phill is just mean enough that he wanted to get rid of my things to make room for Kimberly, but didn’t want me to have them. It doesn’t really matter. I recently bought a home and am slowly acquiring things. When you lose your husband and your daughter in such a nightmare like I did, things are not that important. (but Phill darling, I could use some tools, so could I borrow a drill, our chainsaw, the hedge trimmers………….Oh probably not.)

That is pretty much it in a nutshell. I always thought my husband was a better man. I knew that sooner or later, he would face the facts and right the wrongs that he had done. Of course, knowing Phill, I also know how hard it is for him to admit his mistakes, but I always believed in my husband and believed he’d stand up and do what was right. I was wrong. After nearly 27 years of marriage, I guess I didn’t know my husband well at all.

It’s kind of funny. I can’t tell you how many times people have asked me about my divorce and if my husband left me for a younger woman. A friend of mine once piped up, “Yes, his own daughter!” I’ve heard plenty of jokes about Phill and Phill thinking with his “little Phill” and I’ve even jokingly called Phill “Flatworld Phill.” I loved my husband and always believed he’d do the right thing, and always believed that he loved me and would honor his marriage vows. I thought Phill would do whatever he had to to take care of his family. I guess there are worse things in life than to think that someone is a better person that they actually are. I am not the first wife to be betrayed by her husband, and I won’t be the last.

I feel kind of sad when I think of Emma and Tyler because their whole marriage is based on Emma’s lies. I’ve joked about Tyler Buchheim, my “future ex-son-in-law,” but it makes me sad to feel like Emma and Tyler’s marriage is doomed. With the divorce rate as high as it is for healthy relationsips, I can’t help but feel that Emma’s marriage is a sinking ship. Maybe she’s straighten herself out before her marriage fails, but I doubt it. Emma is in too deep to save face now. I’ve wondered if Emma will get pregnant when her marriage starts to fail in an effort to hold on to Tyler. Whatever happens, it will be an interesting ride for poor Tyler.

Facebook Memories

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Facebook Memories

A few days ago, I got on to Facebook and saw one of those “share your memories” posts about how on this day 7 years ago, I had posted how I finished a book a student had lent me (City of Bones by Cassandra Clare), we got up and went to church, Emma and I went to a bead show, and then came home and Phill had made us dinner, and what a lovely day it was. How was I to know that a short month later, on her dad’s birthday, Emma would begin all her drama of accusing a priest of molesting her, leading to the destruction of our family and of Phill’s and my marriage.

This particular bead show came to the Gwinnett Civic Center about twice a year, and I frequently went, mostly to look, but ofter there was some little thing to pick up that I couldn’t find locally. For those of you that may not know, I used to make glass beads and jewelry. Unfortunately, I had no where to put my glass supplies when I got thrown out of my home, so they are gone. I have no idea what Phill did with them. I do have my beads and some supplies, but when I asked Phill for my old desk, he refused to give it to me, and I doubt, between working two jobs, volunteering, and having somewhat of a life, I will ever make jewelry again. All my supplies sit in boxes. Eventually, I will give it all away.

I think this was the same show where Emma bought her purity ring, and then in the fall of 2010 during the time Emma was seeing Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment, Emma complained that we wouldn’t send her on a church retreat because we couldn’t afford it, but I could got to a bead show and buy beads. That particular show that Emma complained about, I’d bought $30 worth of supplies, and the reason we wouldn’t send Emma to the church retreat was because she was throwing up all the time and taking so much medicine (Zofran) that she slept all the time, and we couldn’t see sending her on a retreat when all she did was sleep. (Of course, we didn’t know that another reason Emma was sleeping so much was because she was on the phone late at night, talking to her other mommy, Sandra Brooks McCravy, whining about her pitiful life and how mean her mommy was. Emma was a busy girl.) It had nothing to do with the cost of the weekend retreat, but I suppose it sounded good to Dr. Burnett to say that I was too selfish to spend on my daughter, but could spend on myself.

Sandra Brooks McCravy

Sandra Brooks McCravy

I don’t remember the story, but in one of Emma’s history books we read about a character, maybe a raven? (Emma, help me out here. I’m sure you remember.) Anyway, the character got distracted by shiny objects. If you’ve seen the movie UP, which we saw as a family, and even Phill cried, then you know what I mean when I say, “Squirrel.” and how the dogs got distracted every time someone said “squirrel.” Well, we’d read this story a few years before we saw up, and Emma would always refer to it when she saw something small and pretty and acted like whatever it was completely distracted her and she would say, “Oooooo, shiny!” No one else would know what Emma was referring to, it was kind of a private joke between the two of us.

What’s kind of funny was that when I went to the bead show in February of 2011, it was during the time Emma was telling her therapist that I was abusing her. Hmmmm, so why would you want to go out with your abusive mother when you didn’t have to? Emma didn’t always go with me to the bead shows, but she loved going and usually went with me. As much as I hate to say it, she didn’t really have friends, so Phill and I were most of her social life. Phill was usually often home on Sundays if he wasn’t flying RC planes, and Emma was old enough to stay alone anyway, so why did she want to go to the bead show with her abusive mother when she could have stayed home and not risked being physically abused? (Hmmm…) When she did go with me, we oooed and ahhed over all the pretties and sometimes Emma bought something for herself, or I bought her something if she saw something she wanted to make into a project. She pretty much had access to any of my supplies if she wanted to make something, and of course, I made her plenty of jewelry. If Emma got a new dress, I could whip up something for her to wear with it. We had a lot of fun collaborating on what she wanted. I also spent many hours teaching Emma beading stitches and took her on trips to the William Holland School in Young Harris, Ga., where she took classes.

Another thing Emma and I did in February of 2011 was to take our Foster Dog to Agility training. The woman who did the classes let foster dogs with the rescue come to class for free. It was great for them to learn a few things and gain some confidence. These classes were on Sunday afternoons. Emma always wanted to go with me right up until she had her little fit at Suzie McGarvey’s office on March 14 2011 and wanted to go live in a group home. She certainly didn’t have to go with me those Sunday afternoons. I loved going and running the dog, but when Emma went, I always let her take the dog on the course and I watched. Selfish mommy that I was, I gave up what I loved doing so that my daughter could do it. Of course, when I asked Phill why Emma always wanted to go with her abusive mother to Agility if I was so horrible, he said I made her go with me. Yep, that must be it.

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Emma Buchheim and our foster dog, Benny, at Agility.  Mean mommy that I am, I dragged Emma to Agility class during the time she claimed I abused her, even though I would have much enjoyed an afternoon to myself.  

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After those horrible events on September 11, 2001, the 9-11 commission said, “They were at war with us. We weren’t at war with them.” (Excuse me if I didn’t quote that exactly right.) That is pretty much how I feel about my daughter. She was at war with me, and I had no idea. She wanted me out of her way so she could run the household and be the wife default, taking over as the woman in Phill’s life, and I never saw it coming. Emma hated me so much just for being her mother. It saddens me to know this horrible human being came out of my body. Phill and I thought we were raising a good, decent young lady, and I know she acts the part, but I’m finding more and more people who know the truth about Emma. I’m sorry Tyler Buchheim, we didn’t raise her that way.

Recently, I ready the book, by Sue Klebold, A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy, and I could compare so much of my story to the heart breaking story of Sue Klebold. Thank you God that Emma has not killed anyone yet. Do I think it could happen, yes. I hope it won’t, but I think Emma is capable of some pretty horrible things.

I wish I’d taken some notes, and I may have to go back and get the book from the library again. They two young me, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris had different personality disorders if you want to call it that. Dylan sounded more depressed and Eric sounded like more of a sociopath. I remember reading about Eric and thinking, “That sounds like Emma.” Not that in any way do I think Emma is going to go out and commit mass murder. She doesn’t fit that profile, but I think she will do other things, and I don’t think she has a conscience.

Also recently, I had some conversations with a young man who discovered my blog and thought he was a lot like Emma. In telling me about himself, he thought maybe he could help me understand Emma. I hope to write more about some insight this young man gave me in the future when I get some time because it was kind of odd to be in that position of speaking to someone who knew so much about your daughter without having ever met her. It was interesting to say the least.

I also want to write for all the estranged parents our there. I’ve talked to other parents who’ve been through something similar, and I’ve found that many of them don’t want their child back in their lives. They love the child that they raised, but why would you invite all that turmoil back into your life? Would I want Emma back in my life?

I don’t talk about Emma much except to a few close friends, some of whom knew Emma while she was growing up. Sometimes, when I coworker is talking about something their child or grandchild did, I want to share a memory of Emma, but I don’t. I am a reminder of every mother’s nightmare. I remind them of what could happen when a child goes horribly wrong. It is frightening to other parents to know what Emma did and to wonder if your own child could ever do such a thing. It’s kind of like being in a secret club. Every once in a while someone will tell me their story, and I don’t mind sharing mine with them because it helps to know you are not alone, but this is not a club people want to talk about belonging to. We all want that “normal” child that grows up to be a functioning adult, with goals and accomplishments and who gets married and has babies and finds her place in this world.

Some years back, one of our relatives made a half-hearted suicide attempt, and the nurse at the ER told her mother that if she could just get her to aged 24, she would be ok. This young woman is now in her 40’s and doing fairly well. She is married with children of her own. As Emma turns 24 later this year, we’ll see if that holds true. No, I don’t think it will. It’s a nice thought, but when I look back on Emma, especially the teen years, and realize she lied pretty much about everyone she knew, I think there was more than a little teen angst going on with my baby girl. Not all the lies were mean, many were quite humourous, but they were lies. Emma is a teller of tales. I don’t think you outgrow that.

No matter what horrible things your child has done, there will always be good memories. Emma was a wonderful baby, and an adorable toddler. Up until the teenage years, I thought Phill and I were raising her right. I do have a lot of fun, normal childhood memories of Emma, and I am thankful for them. I thought being Emma’s mom was the most important job I could ever have. I loved being her mom. For all you parents going through something similar, hold on to the good memories. No one can take those from you.

 

A Question of Timing

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

A Question of Timing

I’ve been reading a lot about liars and lying, and I probably have several posts I can write about that topic as it relates to Emma, but something that’s been on my mind lately was Emma’s timing.

The first time Emma accused me of physical abuse (Dec. 2010), it was to cover up the lies about her friend “Lacey” who was not raped and did not attempt suicide. Since Emma claimed “Lacey’s” rape brought up her repressed memories of being molested when she was 12, how could Emma’s own allegations be true if the stories about “Lacey” were NOT true. We had some attorneys who were willing to sue on Emma’s behalf, and they were about to file the lawsuit. I can only imagine the panic Emma must have felt as a just turned 17 year old, about to be caught in a whopper of a lie. Everyone would know that her claims of being sexually molested by a priest were lies! Emma had to stop the law suit, so she found a way to take the focus off her stories with a new story. Now poor Emma wasn’t just the victim of sexual abuse by a priest, but she was also the vicim of physical abused by her mother! What drama!

Ok, so that is not the part I am thinking about at this point. That was really just a brief update for my new readers who might not have read a lot of Emma’s story yet.

In March of 2011, Emma was in school at Jefferson High School, Jefferson Ga., and we were cruising along in therapyland. We took Emma to weekly appointments with Suzie McGarvey ( Lanier Counseling, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) and had family therapy sessions. Emma also had several DFACS therapists who met with her. At that time, she really didn’t have any friends, other than “Lacey” whom she texted and e-mailed and called her “best friend” although the two girls had never met. It was kind of like we were paying therapists to act in the place of Emma’s friends.

Phill and I had met with Suzie a few times privately as well, and when Emma found out about this, she was furious. She yelled at me and claimed we were going to meet with Suzie to “talk bad” about her. To add to her fury, Emma was upset when she found out Phill and I had gone out to IHOP to eat after a session. Apparently we weren’t allowed to eat out without our daughter. How dare we cheat her out of her funny face pancakes! (Come on, Emma. It’s not like we were going to The Melting Pot or something.)

It was March 14th, 2011 when we met with Suzie McGarvey and she told me that Emma and I would have to be separated because Emma claimed I still abused her and she wanted to go live in a group home.

Something else going on at this time was that Phill was getting ready for SEFF Week (Southeast Electric Fly off) in Americus, Ga. He would go down and spend a week playing with RC planes and hanging out with his flying buddies. Emma had been going to SEFF since she was 12. She worked as the administrative assistant to the director Jeff Meyers and later Matt Klos’ (the father-in-law of Phill’s newest attorney, Bradley D. Moody, the associate part of Lee Sexton and Associates, Stockbridge, Ga.) She got paid for the week, and she loved the money she made. She worked hard and did a great job. We were always proud of how our sometimes typical nasty teenager could turn into a mature young lady who took her position seriously. Emma also liked the prestige of being the director’s right hand girl, and Jeff Meyers said some really nice things about how hard she worked. She got to boss around the vendors and tell them where to set up. Everyone knew Emma and she was known as the “go-to” girl. She worked at SEFF every year right up until 2015, until she got married.

emmajeffmeyers

Emma made a nice chunk of change and enjoyed working at SEFF week as Jeff Meyers’ assistant.  (And then later under Matt Klos)

I had never been to SEFF because SEFF week always conflicted with my end of the year program at the homeschool arts program where I worked part time, and it was always a busy week for me. Also, Emma and I spent so much time together all year and Phill was on the road so much with UPS, that I liked the idea of her having this week with Daddy and it being “their” annual thing together. Phill was always a little jealous of my relationship with Emma, so I was really glad for them to have this mommy-free time with just the two of them. After homeschooling and being busy with the end of the year program at my job, I usually enjoyed the first 2-3 of days of a quiet house to myself.

We had 3 dogs at home, so getting away wasn’t easy and Phill and Emma always sounded so busy that I wasn’t sure what I would do there, but Phill had been after me to go, so I was planning on going to Americus Ga. For SEFF in 2010. My school program ended on a Thursday night, so I could go down on Fri. and then we would all come home on Sunday.

Being somewhat an introvert and not knowing anyone at SEFF (I’d met a few of the people when I went out to watch Phill fly with the local RC groups, but I didn’t really know them.), I was a little nervous about driving down to Americus and hanging out with Phill and all his buddies. From what I heard, there was flying during the day and then a lot of sitting around, drinking and gabbing in the evening.

After hearing about what a great job Emma did at SEFF, I was really looking forward to seeing her in action. It sounded like she was kept pretty busy with all that had to be done, and I would get to see just what her job entailed after hearing so much about it. It was one of those things where you feel like all your hard work as a parent gets paid off, that you might get a glimpse of the adult your child is going to become.

Well, everything came to a screeching halt when Emma again accused me of abuse. I never even found out what I was actuall accused of that time. Suzie McGarvey just said that Emma claimed the abuse was still going on, but never told me anything specific. (Great job, Suzie! Just let your clients say whatever they want and don’t call them on it! As long as they pay and keep comint to therapy, they can say whatever they want, right?) I guess I should have pushed for that information, but at the time I was so distraught and shocked that Emma was pulling this stunt again that I just didn’t think of it. (Later, I did find out about Emma’s famous bruised arm, which written in another post so I’m not going to write it again here.) A couple of weeks later, my loving husband would want to know every detail of my schedule so he could have a sheriff’s deputy remove me from my home while he was out.

Of course, Phill wasn’t going to mess SEFF Week, so while his family was falling apart, he went down to Americus, Ga. To fly airplanes, hang out with all his new RC buds and drink beer. To be honest, I don’t even know if he took Emma that year or left her with Judy and John Hall, our neighbors who kept Emma when she couldn’t stay home with her abusive mother. She was in school at the time, and had missed so much, she should have been home and going to school, but Phill had his priorities and SEFF Week was more important than his family or his daughter’s school attendance

A year or so later, I was to hear from a few of Phill’s SEFF Week friends, whose names will be witheld from the blog. I got to hear some of the stories Emma told down at SEFF, including the one about me poisoning Emma with DDT and Emma claiming to have the toxicology report as proof.

I have to wonder, did Emma choose that time to once again accuse me of abusing her to stop me from going to SEFF Week? Was she afraid if I went down there and met people she’d been telling lies to that she would be exposed? She could trash talk her mom, but if people actually me her mom, they might find out she wasn’t this ogre that Emma described. Oh, no! Emma’s mom going to SEFF Week could ruin everything for her! Is this why Emma chose that particular time to cry abuse yet again? Only Emma knows her motives, and for now they are a mystery, but I have figured out a few things, and I may be on the right trail with my guess about this one.

Coming up next…………………….I think I’ll write about my latest experience with Denial Daddy.  Everyone needs a superpower!

Another Emma Believe It Or Not

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birdbandingcatbird

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Buchheim, Katie Smith, Emma Kate Roey, Sophie Buchheim

 

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Recently, I was traveling, and while driving along the coast and seeing the signs to Savannah, something popped into my head.  I  believe Emma was in 6th grade when the church youth group went on a try to Jekyll Island, Ga. to learn a little about bird banding. There was a couple at our church, Mr. and Mrs. P. who spent every fall banding birds and recording information. They’d been doing this for years. Emma seemed to enjoy the trip despite her complaining about the other kids. There was the one young lady that Emma never got along with, and Emma talked about how she latched on to one of the boys and spent the whole trip with him. (Perhaps a little jealousy there.)

 

This was also the trip where Emma complained about the new youth leader letting the girls watch the program “Sex and the City” and claimed that she picked up her sleeping bag and moved it to the kitchen. She claimed she told the group that she didn’t think her parents would want her watching that program. Whether or not that’s true, who knows? I think I can easily picture Emma making that story up to make herself sound a little high and mighty.
In 2007, Mrs. P. invited Emma and I to go to Jekyll while they were bird banding, since she knew we homeschooled and had a somewhat flexible schedule. We took her up on her offer and drove down there that September for a few days. Jekyll was beautiful, and learning about the bird banding was very interesting. We weren’t allowed to remove the birds from the nets, but we could hold the birds once they were handed to us. I was thrilled when I was able to recognize the subtle differences in some of the birds because when we first started, they all looked alike! In addition to Emma and myself, there was Mr. and Mrs. P, their grown son, and a friend of theirs who came down just before we left. Over dinner conversation, it was very clear that the politics of the group was liberal leaning, and Emma, being very opinionated, even as an 8th grader, did not like the conversations. As a mostly conservative myself, I agreed with somethings that were said and didn’t agree with some things, but it doesn’t upset me if my opinions differ from those around me. Emma, on the other hand, had no use for people whose perspectives were different from her own.
All in all, bird banding was a great educational experience.
A year or so later, when Emma was doing school on line, some of the ladies at church started a sewing group, and I thought Emma might enjoy that. Often, if I could let Emma do something without me, I would, to try to give her a little space without mommy always being around, so I took her to the group, but didn’t stay.
When I picked Emma up, she seemed to have enjoyed the group, but then started complaining about Mrs. P. and how she put down homeschooling, going on about homeschoolers being unsocialized, etc. Emma claimed that when Mrs. P. made some derogatory comment about homeschooling, Emma piped up and said, “Well, I’ve never known a pregnant homeschooler.”
Then Emma said, that another woman from our church, the mother of Savannah, one of the girls in the youth group, said something like, “Good one, Emma.”
I remember telling Phill about the incident, and it never occurred to us that it might not be true. We were kind of proud of Emma for speaking up, but sometime later, something bothered me about this story.Mrs. P. was a classy, polite, articulate, considerate, educated, kind lady. She’d known Emma for years, and knew Emma was homeschooled. I just cannot believe that she would have been putting down homeschooling in front of Emma, knowing that Emma was homeschooled, even if she did have feelings thoughts about it. She just wasn’t that type of person.
Have I called up Mrs. P. to ask her if this story even happened? No. I just classify this story under another Believe it or Not, and I’m not buying it.
So many times, I saw Emma be very judgmental against someone whose politics were different than Emma’s. That’s all it took for her to decide she didn’t like someone. I certainly hope she outgrows this behavior and can learn that people who think differently than you do can still have a lot to offer.
After we told my sister about Emma’s accusation of “molestation,” she later told me that Emma immediately told her that the priest she accused “molesting” her was a democrat. Doesn’t it seem a little odd that you claim to have been sexually abused by a priest, and one of the first things you tell someone about the situation is that he was a democrat?
I know this story is mall in comparison to some of the other things Emma’s done, but I think some of these small stories give you better insight into Emma’s personality, so I want to share them.
And Emma, I will give you credit for one thing though. You were right about your dad. I always joked about your dad being super smart but I wondered about his common sense sometimes. I guess in some ways, he is as dumb as you always said he was. Later on, I will tell you about your dad’s family and his relationships with them, and you can sort of understand why he is the way he is. (I would prefer not to write about this on the blog, but since we can’t talk in person I guess I will have to. And besides, nothing your dad or his family has in their history can be as bad as being a child abuser and attempted murderer, right? BTW, have you recovered from the residual effects of the DDT?  I hope you are happy and healthy.)

Thank you to my readers! Please feel free to write me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma Getting Married—A Mother’s thoughts

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

emmaandbeau-copy

Emma and fiance Tyler Albert Buchheim.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

For those of you attending Emma’s wedding, I hope everyone knows it is still Sept. 19, 2015, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, CA. Gee, I feel sorry for the people who go their plane tickets already  (wink wink) Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s an Ohio wedding?

In 2012, I heard Emma was engaged to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student from West Chester Township, Ohio, who attended Notre Dame University and whom Emma had met on line. I had mixed feelings. She was 19, and too young and immature to be engaged, and Tyler was her first boyfriend, but I was also saddened, no, heartbroken, that I didn’t hear about Emma meeting Tyler, falling in love, etc. from Emma. I felt like in addition to all I’d missed with Emma starting college, I’d missed hearing about something else that was so special in Emma’s life. She’s my daughter, and even with all the horrible things she’s done, I do love her, and I want to see her happy and to have a normal life, even though now I don’t think that is possible. Emma will never have a “normal” life.

I was sad at the thought of missing all the wedding things with Emma like seeing her walk down the aisle to marry the man she loves, helping her with arrangements, going dress shopping, attending her shower, etc.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Of course, later on, I was to find out that there was no engagement, according to Tyler’s mom, Sherry Buchheim, who e-mailed me several times and told me that Tyler was not ready to get in engaged, etc. Who knows, maybe Sherry was lying to cover up for Emma. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. I still find it odd that a family from Ohio would let their son’s girlfriend move from Georgia to Ohio, to move in with the boyfriend’s grandparents, if the relationship was not fairly serious. They’d even taken Emma on vacation to Hilton Head and even had professional pictures made of Emma and Tyler.

I felt obligated to warn Tyler’s family about what they were getting into, and saw no point in e-mailing a young man who was in love. Who would he believe? His girlfriend? Or her mother whom he’d never met? Instead, I contacted Tyler’s mother, Sherry Buchheim, and told her briefly what Emma had done. I gave her my name, address, phone number and e-mail address and told her I would be happy to answer any questions she might have. (I’ve already written about this, so dear readers, you can go back and read about “Bud the Boyfriend” to get the full story about Emma and Tyler Buchheim.) I knew that Emma marrying anyone was going to be a disaster.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Now, when I think about Emma getting married, it just makes me sad for her. What kind of marriage can she have? But then again, I am glad Emma’s getting married. She won’t be able to hide her crazy (with apologies to Miranda Lambert—I love that song!) forever, and once the newness and excitement wears off, and the young groom is close to Emma, living with her day in and day out, her husband is going to see that something’s not right. Eventually, the marriage will end in disaster, but of course, nothing will be Emma’s fault.

I was discussing this with a friend, who knew Emma a few years ago, and I guess after everything Phill and Emma put me through, I’ve come a long way. I was telling her that I don’t even feel like I’m missing anything by not attending Emma’s wedding because I feel like the whole thing is such a farce. Her marriage is just the countdown until the first divorce. Or, as my friend put it, it’s the countdown until the next train wreck.

Emma will have her wedding day, her pretty dress, her handsome groom, her wedding gifts, her honeymoon, and she will be the star of the show. But just wait until Act Two.

Special thanks to Face in Hole for the fun website!  Emma and I used to do those Jib Jab things where you put the face in (or the dog’s face!) and when I saw this site, I thought this was the kind of thing we would have sat there and played with, laughing hysterically as we made funny pictures.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. This one reminds me of Hillary Clinton.  Sorry, Emma, I know you would hate that comparison! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Letters to “Lacey” – Post Script (Updated 8/8/15)–more to come……..

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma at the William Holland School in 2010. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma at the William Holland School in 2010. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

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Emma at the William Holland School in 2009, giving me a dirty look for taking her photo. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Letter’s to Lacey – Post Script & Emma’s Purity Ring

I wanted to share Emma’s letters to “Lacey” to give my readers a better feel for what was going on in Emma’s head at that time. The letters are the writings of a teenage girl and written more like a diary. If you read through the letters, it would have been in Dec. of 2009 when Emma told her dad and I that “Lacey” had been raped and then tried to commit suicide. I won’t repeat the whole story here, but Phill and I had picked Emma up on her birthday, after her youth group. Emma was very upset and told us that “Lacey” had called her from the hospital and was hysterical………. You can go back and read the post where I already wrote about this.

I often wonder why Emma would do that to her “best friend” as she often called “Lacey.” Was it because she had never actually met “Lacey” so it would be easy to make up a story that no one would verify? I just don’t know enough about liars to understand why they do what they do. All kids lie. We all know that. A school counselor told me that lying becomes a problem when the lies hurt people. Then it goes beyond what is normal. Emma was lying and hurting people, most definitely. I don’t know when her lies started going too far, but as much as I love my daughter, I know she has a serious problem.

Lacey’s” parents also sent me some chat messages between Emma and “Lacey.” Most of them were pretty uneventful. In one chat message, after Phill had me thrown out of my home by the sheriff’s department, Emma told “Lacey” she and her dad were planning a rafting trip to TN, and since “Lacey” lived a couple of hours away, in NW Georgia, she asked about meeting up with her. Previously, Emma had tried several times to get “Lacey” to come visit. I had agreed if “Lacey’s” parents would allow her to visit that I’d be willing to drive halfway to meet up with her parents and pick “Lacey” up. Emma told me two Christmases in a row that “Lacey” was coming, and one spring break, and at least once over the summer, but these plans never materialized.

I find it odd that Emma still tried to meet up with “Lacey” when she and her dad were going white water rafting in TN. Emma told people that “Lacey” had been raped and attempted suicide, and she had the gall to ask her if she wanted “to meet up for coffee or something?” Did Emma not think that “Lacey” might not think there was something really wrong with this kid who told such horrible lies about her?

If you look up Narcissism on Wikipedia, you find: Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and others. Signs and Symptoms: People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy.[5]

Ding, ding, ding, ding!!

Emma is unable to see the destructive damage she causes to herself and to others! And, Emma is all about power (control).

Several people have told me they thought Emma was narcissistic, and I believe she is, but there’s more going on there than just that. I know Emma has some serious issues. Narcissism is only one of them. Emma accused me of having a Borderline personality, but I think Emma may have been diagnosing herself. Although, when Phill and I first read about Borderline Personality Disorder, Phill said this disorder described Sandra Brooks McCravy much more than it described me, the symptoms also describe Emma. Honestly, I think there’s a lot wrong with Emma. She may have parts of many other antisocial personality disorders, but we just didn’t have proper help to figure her out.

I know Emma has some serious issues, and I would guess some sort of antisocial personality disorder. From the signs we saw over the years, the lack of empathy, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, and nothing was ever Emma’s fault.  Emma could be cold, calculating and manipulative, secretive, well organized, and egocentric.   …Emma knew right from wrong, but rules didn’t apply to her. I think, having raised Emma and homeschooling her for 5 years, I knew her pretty well, but I had no idea what she was capable of. How do you admit you think your daughter could be a psychopath or a sociaopath? Psychopath was a term I heard all my life, but I never really knew the meaning. Phill used to call his mother’s live-in boyfriend, Kenny, a psychopath or a sociopath, but even then, I didn’t really know what those terms meant. After doing some research and talking to some professionals, I feel like I have a better understanding of psychopath vs. sociopath, and I truly believe Emma is a psychopath.  As a mother, it breaks my heart to think my child is mentally ill, but what Emma has done goes beyond normal teenage rebellion
When Emma was growing up, she could be such a brat and so difficult about what she wanted, and it didn’t matter what was going on with the rest of the family, it just mattered that Emma got what she wanted. I used to think to myself sarcastically, “All that matters is that Emma gets what SHE wants!” or I might say to myself, “Well, Emma IS the center of the universe.”
I often wonder when that switch flipped for good. Emma could be my loving little girl who wanted to cuddle and talk things over with mom before bed, and she could be a cold, calculating, wicked being. At some point, the psychopath won out. Emma fed the wrong wolf. (From the Indian Proverb of the Two Wolves)
As a mother, what makes me sad is that if Emma is truly a psychopath, she doesn’t know what love is. She can pretend to love in order to get what she wants, but she will never know what it is to give your heart to another human being. It is hard to imagine someone being so self-centered that they can’t truly love those around them. I will write about my thoughts on Emma getting married in the next post, but it makes me sad for both her and her husband. Talk about a train wreck.

On Feb. 7, 2010, about a month and a half before Emma told us she’d been sexually molested by the priest, Emma sent “Lacey” a message about going to a bead show and buying herself a “promise ring.” Back in my day, a promise ring was like a pre-engagement ring that a high school boy might give a girl that he planned on marrying one day. I think Emma’s calling her ring a “promise ring” in the chat message might have been an error because she told me it was a “purity ring” and many times after that, I heard her refer to it as her purity ring. The ring was a little silver ring with a citrine stone. It was very pretty and looked nice on Emma.

Emma’s purity was very important to her. She wanted to remain a virgin until she married, and as a mother, you are glad to hear your 10th grader say that! With all the STDs to worry about, and all the unplanned pregnancies…………………….. I didn’t have a problem with her wanting to hold off on sex. Of course, but the age of 17, when Phill had me thrown out of my home, Emma had never even been on a date. Her thoughts about premarital sex might have changed once she had a boyfriend.

Emma’s own purity was one thing, but she held everyone else to her high standards. She spoke so terribly about everyone she knew at high school when she was in 9th grade at Jackson County Comprehensive High School. Emma made it sound like she was the only “good girl” in the whole place. Of course, Phill and I knew things had changed a lot from when we were in high school, so we just sort of assumed Emma knew what she was talking about. I think part of it may have been that Emma didn’t have any friends, so she made excuses by saying everyone else did drugs and was having sex so she didn’t want to be friends with any of these people anyway.

Someone told me that Emma seemed to have a superiority complex, and that I can believe. Emma and I attended a bible study down the street at a neighbor’s home with a group of women. There were a few members who had grandchildren that had been born to unwed parents. When the daughter of one of the women got pregnant and was not married, she started coming to our group. When we had a shower for this young woman, Emma was opposed to it. Emma felt like we were rewarding this young woman for her bad behavior. I thought this was a teaching moment, and I tried to discuss it with Emma. We talked about how lucky this girl was that she was living with her parents who were supportive and willing to help her. Also, Emma was very strongly Pro-Life, so I pointed out that this young woman could have chosen to have an abortion, but she didn’t. I thought we had some good conversations, but Emma was still very judgmental. Everyone was a sinner but Emma.

At one time, Phill had worried that Emma might be a lesbian. She didn’t show much interest in boys, but you have to admit that middle school boys can be kind of goofy. I wasn’t worried, just figuring she was not boy crazy. I think Emma was about 12 when we were at pet adoptions and walked across the street to Costco to get an iced coffee. We were walking back and chatting. I don’t remember exactly what we were chatting about, I think there had been a lesbian couple looking at a dog, but Emma commented on whatever we were talking about and then said , “Oh, I know I like boys!” I came home and told Phill he didn’t have to worry anymore.

One other thing that I think is funny about the purity ring and some of Emma’s letters was when she said she went somewhere. Maybe all teenagers do that, but Emma didn’t say, “My mom took me to a bead show.” She tried to make it sound like she was an adult and went by herself. I saw this in some of her other letters. I guess that was that teenager trying to be independent. Just over a year after Emma bought her purity ring, she got all the independence she wanted.

Coming up next: My thoughts on Emma’s upcoming marriage…….and for those of you that may have missed it, Emma’s wedding date is still Sept. 19, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, Ca. Gee, hope you all didn’t get your plane tickets already. Of course, Emma may be marrying Tyler Buchhein, an architecture student who lives in Ohio instead of Jackson Miller…………..just a little bug someone put in my ear………..but then, I haven’t received my invitation yet, but if you go to: http://registry.theknot.com/emma-roey-jackson-miller-september-2015/10942079 you can look at Emma’s wedding site, but you do need the pin number or password. (Sorry, I don’t have it, so let me know if you do!)

Two More Letters, but first…….

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

July 19, 2015

Two More Letters to Go, but first……. There is a gap between Emma’s letter from Oct. 19, and her following letter dated Jan. 8. 2010. It is possible the girls were e-mailing and not writing, and I know they were texting a lot because Emma had always shared some of her news from “Lacey”. If you’ve read my previous posts, you already know that a lot of what Emma told me was not true, such as “Lacey’s mother being on death’s door with breast cancer….. I also heard a lot about “Lacey” and Aaron. Emma loved telling me about their relationship troubles. It was all very dramatic. From what Emma told me, Aaron was a freshman in college while “Lacey” was a freshman in high school. They met through church, on a mission trip, I believe. There was lots of drama about trying to keep her parents from finding out about her feelings for Aaron because they would not approve of the age difference, and Aaron and Lacey didn’t date at that point, but only saw each other at church. Later on, Emma told me about Aaron having dinner with a group of friends at a restaurant, and his old girlfriend showed up. He confessed to “Lacey” that they talked for a long time out in the parking lot after dinner, and he kissed her. Emma really hated him for that. I have never met “Lacey” and have only spoken with her mother. I have no idea if the stories about Aaron are true or not. Since Emma lied so much about “Lacey’s” rape, attempted suicide, and her mother’s breast cancer……, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the drama about Aaron was made up too.

Also, just after Emma’s last writing in Oct., Evan seemed to lose interest in Emma. They spent a lot of time together at the church hayride. I don’t remember the exact date, but it was around Halloween. They hayride was held at our deacon’s farm, and the adults visited, and we all cooked hot dogs over a fire while the kids rode around the farm several times on the hayride. Emma and Evan sat together and he had his arm around her. It was all very sweet. I remember getting into bed that night and Emma came in and laid down on the bed next to me to talk about the evening. She was a happy, young girl in love. She loved telling me stories about what the kids said and did, and especially what Evan said or did…….

Church Hay Ride 2009.

Church Hay Ride 2009.

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride. Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride.  In this picture you can see how sweet and loving Emma looks with her dad.  It was shortly after this picture was taken that Emma started complaining about her dad, saying she didn’t like him, and he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” daily.   Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I’m pretty sure I know why Evan lost interest in Emma, but it is very personal, and believe it or not, my goal is not to embarrass and humiliate Emma. It’s not something that needs to be shared in this blog and doesn’t relate to the horrible things Emma has done. My only goal is to tell the truth. This is something I would have liked to work out with Emma privately but because she threatens me with a restraining order if I contact her, I feel my only alternative is this blog.

The last time I heard from Emma was Jan. 14, 2014. Just before that, I received an e-mail from Emma about breaking up with Tyler Buchheim. Someone pointed out something to me recently that Emma and Tyler may not have broken up. They may have written me to make me think that they broke up, and now that Tyler is or has graduated college, they may be actually getting married. I’m not going to mention what was shared with me. I do have some things to say about Emma’s upcoming marriage, but that is for a different post. In my previous posts, I referred to Tyler as “Bud the Boyfriend.” Since some of you may not have read about Emma and Tyler, here is a short version of it:

Emma met Tyler on line. He was an architecture student at Notre Dame University. He came down to visit her in Ga., and she went on vacation with the Buchheim family to Hilton Head. She convinced his family that she was not safe at home and they invited Emma to move up to Liberty Township, Ohio and in with Tyler’s grandparents, as Tyler’s mother did not want the raging hormones under the same roof. Emma began telling people she was engaged, but did not expect these stories to get back to her mother. I contacted Sherry Buchheim, Tyler’s mother, and in addition to telling Sherry what Emma did here in Ga., lying about “Lacey,” and claiming to have been sexually abused by a priest and then physically abused by her mother, I also shared stories that Emma told about Tyler, his younger sister, and his parents. As to whether or not Emma and Tyler broke up, I do not know. They may have pulled another one over on Emma’s mother, but I don’t really care at this point. I took Tyler’s name out of the blog when I thought they’d broken up, but now that I’ve heard something to lead me to believe I was wrong, I will put his name back in and leave it until I find out otherwise. Here is that e-mail Emma sent when she claimed Tyler broke up with her:

“Well, I have to say, congratulations. I never imagined you could destroy my life so completely, but you have. You win. You’ve proven that no matter how hard I try to escape your damage and rebuild my life, you will still find a way to hurt me. And now you’ve taken away the most important, sweetest, kindest person in my life. Yes, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to know that all this crap got to be too much for Tyler, and he dumped me. In your twisted mind are we somehow even now, or will you continue destroying my life? I don’t even know what else you can do, really. I know now that I’ll never be able to have a relationship, because you’ll ruin that. You’ll stalk my schools, my jobs, and anything else I ever do. What’s your endgame? What do you want from me? What the hell do I have to do to get you to leave me alone and stop hurting innocent people with your inane blog??? And please don’t say you want to be a mother to me, because publicly degrading your child definitely crosses the point of no return on that, as I know I’m not the only one to tell you. Oh, and stalking my boyfriend and his family til they dumped me? That didn’t score points either. “

At one time, I was not going to post that e-mail because I wanted to give Emma the chance to clean up her act. From the beginning, I told Emma and her dad I would take down the blog and keep this between the three of us, but we needed to deal with it. Since Emma chose to continue with her lying, I changed my mind, so there it is. I e-mailed Emma back and told her I would not do this through e-mail and she could call me to discuss it. I then received an e-mail from Katherine Smith. (Emma goes by Katie Smith on Facebook, last I heard. If you are going to change your name to hide your indiscretions, be sure to choose something common.) Here is that e-mail:

January 8, 2014

RE: Email Message

DO NOT contact me again, in any form, at any time. Forms of contact include (but are not limited to): phone calls, voicemails, text messages, email messages, messages sent through a postal service, and physical/verbal in-person contact. Again, as of today, the eighth of January in two thousand and fourteen, I am requesting that you DO NOT contact me ever again, in any form. If you contact me again, I will take legal action against you.

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma had already sent me a “drop dead” letter when Phill and I were divorced, so this second one was no surprise.

A few months ago, someone asked me if Phill knew how lucky he was that what Emma did to me could have just as easily been done to him. Then, recently, a friend, who went through this whole horrible ordeal with me, and is someone whom I will always treasure for being there for me, said something about how Emma’s goal was to split up her parents. Who knows why, but first she tried to turn me against Phill by claiming that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” every day, and complaining about the way he touched her. I have wondered if I had taken the bait, if Emma would have accused her dad of sexual abuse rather than the priest. When I would not allow Emma to talk that way about her dad, she came up with the story about being sexually molested by the priest, and when that went too far, she had to stop it and came up with the story about her mother physically abusing her. By getting her mother out of the house, Emma got all the freedom and control she could ever want. By threatening to run away if her dad made her go to counseling with her mother, Emma had her dad right where she wanted him. Blood is thicker than water, and a daughter is blood, while a wife is only water. With all the lies and documentation I have about Emma’s lies, Phill knows the truth, but won’t discuss Emma. He is definitely not the man I thought I was married to. For someone who was proud to say he was eligible to join MENSA, you just have to wonder. The first time Phill told me he could have joined MENSA had he wanted to, we were pretty young, and me being of only average intelligence, I have to admit, I didn’t even know what it was. I wonder if Emma is eligible too. I always said she got her smarts from her dad.

Letters to “Lacey” Part 18 *********(Completed 7/17/15)************

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others. As of now, Emma’s planning on getting married on Sept. 19, 2015.

Part 18
Oct. 5, 2009 (Emma starts another 7 page letter to “Lacey.”)
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Emma tells “Lacey” she had a pretty good weekend. She was supposed to babysit T. on fri, but her mom was too tired to go to the church book club, so Emma went. The group was talking about “blips” in life when something goes wrong and changes your life such as bad marriages, bad parents, divorce, etc. Emma says she likes listening but pretty much kept quiet since she hadn’t read the book and didn’t have enough life experience to comment. We took a break to get food, and them Emma talks about Evan’s mom, Ms. M. saying to her, “Emma, I bet you’re sitting there thinking this is never going to happen to you, and she said it really sharply, but she’s like that to everybody, so Emma doesn’t take it personally. Emma says she was actually think that Annie D’s bracelet was pretty and she’d never seen her wear it to book club before, not that Emma would admit what she was thinking. Emma says she told Ms. M. how she’d been thinking how nice it was to be in a group of ladies and how we all seemed to have a bond even though some of us didn’t know each other that well. Emma says she feels like Ms. M. is attacking her, even though she thinks that is just how she is…

Emma goes on to say that o Saturday, they practiced at church all day long on their skit for the sock hop. Jordan is great at choreographing, so she told everyone what to do. They have a rough plan now, but need a few more rehearsals. Emma says she has a great costume—a cheerleading outfit from the fifties that Aunt Janice made—yes literally sewed every stitch herself—when she was in high school. It fits Emma perfectly. She wore it to church to make an announcement and to just generally draw attention to herself. Then she dragged everyone who was in church (Alex, Rob, Evan) up to the front during announcements to invite everyone to the dance. Evan and Rob were acolyting, so they were already up front….and when they went up for Communion, they were kneeling at the altar and Emma’s dad whispered, “Evan’s staring at you….Emma, look, why is he staring at you…” And Emma said “Daddy, its ok!! Be Quiet!!” As she later pointed out, who wouldn’t be staring at someone in a fifties cheerleading uniform anyway? Daddy’s not that observant, so he believed Emma. Evan always watches Emma, she says, but no one else usually notices, or at any rate, they don’t comment…..and if Daddy notices, he comments.

Ok, she sort of got sidetracked there. Emma says. The talks about finding 4 traffic cones and makes fun of Jordan for telling them to, “Make a circle with these!” and mentions pointing out to Jordan that they made a square, not a circle.
Emma talks about the Blessing of the Animals service and says she doesn’t understand people who aren’t used to animals. The youth group were supposed to be doing a dog wash for a fundraiser, and Emma claimed that Evan was supposed to dry the animals, but just draped a towel around a dog and asked “Is that right?”

Oct. 12, 2009

Emma apologizes for not sending this letter last week and says she will finish it and send it tomorrow, she hopes. She talks about acolyte training, which they had the day before, and the new junior acolytes which she is excited about. The new ones are enthusiastic and clueless so they do whatever Emma tells them very cheerfully. She complains about Fr. T’s son being book bearer, and says she is never going through that again. She complains that Trevor (name changed) is bipolar…..severe bipolar…and she thinks he has a problem with women, particularly as authority figures. He does not and has never liked Emma or Jordan,, and threw a royal fit about getting robed………….So while Emma is dealing with an eighth grader throwing a hissy fit, she’s also trying to get two acolytes who have no clue what they are doing to light candles. And of course, it’s a Baptism, so there are a ton of extra candles, all of which have to be lit in the correct order. Emma doesn’t mind helping a couple of the acolytes who are new and trying their hardest but Trevor is a different story. Emma claims she told an adult that she is never serving with him again. If he won’t accept her as team captain, there is really no point in trying. She is too type-A assertive/aggressive to put up with that, and no one’s going to be happy.

Emma talks about the Peace, when, congregants greet each other and hug or shake hands, and how she was thankful her parents sat on an asile so she go see them without making her way through a row of people who all wanted to talk to her. She was saying goodbye and getting ready to run back up front when she heard her name and of course, she’d know his voice anywhere, even in a room full of talking people. She spun around and was in his arms, not that she minds, but remember this is right besider her parents, so of course they had a field day with that one. Mother was gleeful and daddy was sulky/pouty………… Emma says she is not sure what is going on! She has a list in her head why she thinks he loves her vs. why he doesn’t. the first list goes something like this: he says he loves her. He texts her to ask her questions he already knows the answers to. In church he somehow always ends up sitting where she can see him and he can see her even when that means not sitting with his mom. He watches her all the time and the only time he’s not standing or sitting by her is if her parents are around. She calls to ask him one question which everyone else has answered in 5 seconds and they end up talking for 20 minutes about random, inconsequential, irrelevant stuff. The second list: He hasn’t asked her out. Sometimes he won’t even look at her if her parents are around. She knows his brother hates her (he hates everyone at church, but still) and she has no idea what to make of his mom. And he has no reason to like her anyway!

Soooo, Emma doesn’t know what to think! Oh and after church we went to a brunch at Chateau Elan, which has really good and really expensive food, and listened to talk about stewardship and pledging. Emma claims Ms. M., Evan’s mom, was one table over and she swears that every time she looked up, Ms. M. was staring at her.
Emma goes on to talk about whom we were sitting with at Chateau Elan and how she served at the wedding of a couple there and how Jordan was in love with the son of the husband…………

(I wouldn’t say Emma’s dad was “sulky/pouty” over her and Evan, nor was I gleeful. It was nice to see Emma happy, and since she talked about Evan all the time, like I said earlier, it wasn’t exactly a secret. The whole church saw them together, but most of us were adult enough to know it was young love and didn’t necessarily mean we should expect wedding bells!)

Oct. 15, 2009
Emma talks about going to Wed. night Sunday school and says she thinks it’s cute how Evan starts out on the other side of the room from her, next to Rob, and within five minutes, he comes to get something off a shelf behind Emma and sits down right beside her for the rest of class. She doesn’t know if anyone else notices, but she does, and it makes her happy.

……..in class they were talking about the part of the Gospel where Jesus calls a certain group of people hypocrites, and Ms. Shanna added, “we can see a lot of hupocrites in history…” and knowing that she and Ms. Greeson (the other teacher) agree with Emma, she feels the need to add, “Or prominent political figures.” And that got everyone laughing…….Emma says everyone there, except maybe Molly, know Emma’s opinion of the President.

Emma mentions how she likes both her teachers. They are both young, with young children, and agree with her politically, and they are just really nice. They treat her with respect, and Ms. Shanna informed Trevor that Emma is one of the most mature people she knows and he will treat her as an adult while he is in her class. They have a lot of art materials in the classroom and they are supposed to be doing something while they are talking, but Emma never does, so she just sits. She will never be happy with anything she draws, paints, etc. There is always some detail that bothers her, so she just sits. She wonders what they think about that. Next week she may pick up a piece of paper and just sit there with it. Just to make it look like she is thinking about doing something. Even though she never actually would. She doesn’t want them to think she’s not participating or that she thinks she is too good for it. She actually not good enough to do art. Even stringing beads. Everyone’s made cross necklaces to wear while they’re in the room, but she knows she wouldn’t be happy with the one she made, so she doesn’t make one.

Emma complains, “It’s so hard, “Lacey!’” She is having problems with walls again. She loves him, but she is afraid to love him. It was fine to like him when she thought he didn’t like her, but now that she thinks he loves her, it’s scary. Emma thinks about him all the time and then she wonders if he’s thinking about her. And when he looks at her, her heart flies so fast that she feels like she is going to faint she didn’t used to do that because whether she loved him or not, she never thought anything would come of it. Now she always wonders what he’s thinking and she doesn’t know what to say when he talks to her. She always manages to say something semi-intelligent, but then she thinks of a million other things she should have said. She wishes he would tell her he loves her again. Emma has this irrational hope that maybe something will happen tonight (when setting up for the Sock Hop) or tomorrow at the dance. Her parents will be there tomorrow, but not tonight…although she doesn’t really expect anything to happen. She wishes “Lacey” were there. She wishes she could talk to him. Well, no that’s not true. She wishes he would talk to her, except that when he looks at her he blushes and she can’t meet his eyes for more than a second. She wonders if he notices. He notices more about her than she realizes, she does know that. On Monday he brought up something that she’d said like three years ago that she barely even remembers. Emma doesn’t know whether she’s in love with him or not, although she knows he loves her. And she can’t tell her mom that she’s in love and has been since forever because she’d think Emma was silly.

Emma doesn’t care how sweet Aaron is, he is not allowed to think evil things involving “Lacey!”
“The journey from your mind to your hands/is shorter than you’re thinking…” Slow Fade by Casting Crowns.
Ok, Emma says not to worry she is kidding. Sort of. She doesn’t really know Aaron so shee can’t judge him. If he’s good to “Lacey” then Emma likes him. If he breaks her heart, he’s evil and villainous and she hates him to pieces. “Lacey” will have to print a pic of the two of them together and send it to Emma.
(And No, Emma, I never thought you were silly when you were in love with Evan. It was sweet. Love is love whether you are 15 like you were at the time or whether you are an old 48, like I was and still in love with your dad. Love is love, and it was your first serious crush, and a really big deal for you.

And another Casting Crowns Song you used to like, Emma:

She is running

a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

She is trying, but the canyon’s ever widening

In the depths of her cold heart

So she sets out on another misadventure just to find

She’s another two years older

and she’s three more steps behind….

Does Anybody Hear Her by Casting Crowns)

Oct. 17 2009
Emma spends the next three pages talking about Evan and the sock hop. The kids put on the skit they’d been working on, and then Evan pulled Emma on to the dance floor and it was a slow dance and there were only two other couple dancing, so of course Emma feels her parents staring at her. Emma says they danced about the next 7 songs and then one of the little boys started hitting Evan with balloons and he said, “Stop. I’m with my girl.” Emma wonders if she is “his girl” then why hasn’t he asked her out………….

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was I took of Emma dancing with her dad. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was this one I took of Emma dancing with her dad. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

Oct. 19, 2009

Emma talks about the Corn Maze trip and of course lots and lots about Evan…………sitting next to Evan in the car……….usual teenage girl in love kind of stuff……….wishing she could go back to last Friday night. She was so happy then. It was like everything was different that night. Different isn’t the word. She doesn’t even know that there is a word…and normally Evan wouldn’t hold her hand or put his arm around her, but for some reason it was ok and now they are back in the real world and it’s not ok anymore and she wants it to be ok, but she doesn’t know what to do about it………..Her life revolves around when she will see him next. She wants to have a heart-to-heart with him but is afraid to. She thinks about it all the time. She doesn’t know how much longer she can take this. It is stressing her out and she doesn’t focus on school or anything else for long. She wishes she could talk to someone, but there is no one “here” she can trust.

Thanks for listening! Love ya!
Emma-Kate

(Emma was a little paranoid about her parents “staring” at her.  It wasn’t a large group, and it wasn’t a large room, but Phill and I tried to give Emma some space.  And besides, we really enjoyed watching the adults dance.  Phill and i were to totally uncoordinated people, and the only dancing we did was slow dancing in the privacy of our kitchen!

Now, let me see if I can find that Sock Hop video………….)


Letters to “Lacey” Part 17

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Part 17
The following Day Emma starts another letter to “Lacey.”

Sept.29, 2009

Emma asks “Lacey” how she is and talks about the cool morning…
Emma then complains about going to the mall the day before to pick up her portraits, ugh. Tey are ok. She likes a couple of them, but of course it is the ones she doesn’t like that her parents had wallets and stuff printed of. We also went to Bath and Body Works, and Emma says she needs to stay away from that store. She loves all the pretty smells, but has four different ones….

Emma says that when “Lacey” is down at Christmas, they will go to the mall, and goes on to make fun of her mom, telling “Lacey” that her dad called and asked where we were, and her mother said, “Are we upstairs?” and how the cashier was laughing at her. Emma says when you look outside and see a balcony, obviously we are upstairs.

Emma reminds “Lacey” that they were talking about her parents being nosy. That is why she created a yahoo e-mail account. They don’t know about it, so they don’t snoop in it. Every time she uses it, she deletes it from her history so they wonn’t see it. She only e-mails “Lacey” and a few school friends from it, so she doesn’t think it’s that bad. She would never get into anything bad on the internet or give that address to anyone she didn’t know well, so she doesn’t feel too awful about keeping it secret from them. Also, she’s 90% sure they go through her text messages, so she deletes anything she doesn’t want them to see. It’s nothing bad, just what she told “Lacey” the night before. She wouldn’t want her parents to see that. She does have reason not to trust her parents. They are both awful liars. They can’t keep secrets for a minute. They’re just one of the things that could hurt her, so she doesn’t tell.
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I love how Emma complains about the portraits (previously posted) we got from JC Penney. We had a coupon for $3/sheet of 8”x10”s, 2 5”x7”s, wallets, whatever. The price was very reasonable. When we looked at the proofs, I picked out the photos I wanted, and I let Emma pick out what she wanted. In addition to what we bought, her dad copied and made prints of them with the computer. Once again, Emma just had to find something to complain about, when she had nothing to complain about. It makes such a better story than saying, “My mom let me pick out the prints I wanted.”

The story about me not knowing if I were upstairs or downstairs at the mall may or may not be true. I am not much of a shopper, and I know there were two Bath and Body Works at the Mall of Georgia, however if we were close enough to the front of the store, I believe I would have figured out that we were upstairs. Emma’s poor, stupid mother.

Emma once complained that her dad and I lied to her, and we got into an argument. I told her that we might not tell her things that we did not feel were appropriate for her to know but we did not deliberately lie to her. She went on and on about how oh yes we did, so I asked her what we lied about. Her answer was, “Santa Claus.” So, sue us, Emma.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Sept. 30, 2009

Emma complains again about the cold and says she wishes she could have talked to “Lacey” last night. She complains that for two weeks in a row she has absolutely been unable to focus. Sigh. Not good. She was texting “him” last night, and she thinks she has already told “Lacey” that he will randomly start talking in Spanish, and no one can understand him because Emma is the only other one in Spanish and she is only in her first year. Emma says she is going to have to delete her Inbox soon. It is too full ad she doesn’t want to wade through it to decide what to keep.
Emma says she was asking Evan (aka “him”) to talk to anybody in the youth group that goes to Wednesday night Faith Formation about a project. Emma explains that the church moved Sunday school to Wed nights, and she can’t go because she has Forensics meetings and her mom says it is too much in one night. 
“Si mi amor.”
“Yes,, what???? I’m not that far yet.”
“Yes.”
“No I got that part. What is ‘mi amor’”?
“My love.”
“Love you too. I have to go to a meeting though [sic] I will txt you later.” Only, Emma complains, that she didn’t get to talk to him anymore last night because her meeting ran late and she was tired, but then she couldn’t sleep of course, so hopefully today.
Emma wishes she could fast forward to Saturday because the kids were tomeet at the church for skit practice…..


I would just like to point out another lie when Emma says her mother said “it’s too much in one night .” Poor Emma. Being the victim must be so exhausting. Because Emma really didn’t have any friends, and she quit most activities she tried, I took her to any church activity she wanted to go to, especially the youth group (and if Phill was around, he took her as well). The reason Emma could not go that Wed. night was because her Forensics meetings conflicted with her Faith Formation class, not because her mean ol’ mother said it was too much. It was not possible to do both activities, and she had to attend the Forensic meetings because it was a part of her grade, but doesn’t it sound soooo much more interesting to blame her mother for not getting to see “su amor” (her love).

Emma complains about going to the orthodontist and says she can’t wait to get her braces off (sometime next year). She says she is happy now because her mom says she can go to Faith Formation tonight! She is so happy, but of course she didn’t tell her mother why or act overly excited, but she can tell “Lacey” she is happy!  Except her teeth hurt which makes her not happy. Oh well, nothing is perfect. She is kind of nervous too but no one will ever know that except her and maybe him. Why can’t she feel as assured as she acts? If only she was a good enough actress to fool herself, that would really be something… Oooh, she almost doesn’t want to go tonight. He doesn’t think she is going because she didn’t know she was going until this morning. She knows he will be there though. Why does life have to be so darn complicated? And she didn’t tell mother about anything last night, so does she need to tell her before we go? She doesn’t think she is going to. She doesn’t think she will bring it up.

Emma says she is totally messed up. She is happy, but not happy. She is nervous, but excited. This is silly, but for once she doesn’t know how to stop being silly. Of course, she can cover it up with acting, but she can’t hide it from herself. Acting is how she builds her wall. She builds a facade so people think they know her and then she carefully adds to it so they never think to look under it. Sigh. She is going to go. She should look forward to it. Be Happy. Be Happy. Emma needs to be happy and bubbly and everything else she wants people to think she is.

Emma says she is so hyper. She wants to go and she has to wait three whole hours, during which she will be absolutely useless because she is totally not concentrating. Maybe while everyone’s coming in she can slip outside with the little kids and see him without her mom. Assuming we get there first. She will have to try to discreetly get her mom to leave early. Set the clocks ahead? Hmmm, too complicated….

Well, Emma says she was more honest there than she usually is, which she almost regrets She wants to just take out this whole page, but she will not. Because “Lacey” is not going to hurt her and her parents are never going to see this. So there is nothing to be afraid of. Emma tells “Lacey” to let her know what is going on with her!! And Aaron!!
Love ya!!
Emma-Kate


Ahhhh, young love and teen angst all rolled up into one. I don’t remember why we went to Faith Formation that particular night. My guess would be that Emma’s Forensics meeting was cancelled or postponed. I’m also not sure about Emma trying to discretely see Evan without her mom. When we got to the church, I always went and sat with the adults and she went off with the youth. Emma talked about Evan at home all the time at hone, so it’s not like it was a big secret. Everyone at church saw the two of them together frequently, so it wasn’t a secret there either.