Tag Archives: Social Empowerment Center

You Look Bad, I look Good

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her current husband, Tyler Buchheim live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, who has put architecture on hold, is studying to be a Full Stack Developer at the Flatiron School in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis (according to Tyler).  Emma works in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area as an insurance underwriter.   Emma and Tyler are the parents to two little dogs, Arya and Sansa.  (Emma is a huge Game of Thrones fan.)  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

You Look Bad, I look Good

(Kind of like I’m OK, You’re OK, only different.)

I hope to read more and learn more about sociopathy, and as most of you know, I think Emma has some kind of personality disorder, perhaps she is a sociopath, and/or a narcissist, borderline, etc. Since Phill and I weren’t trained in the soft sciences, and since we were the proud parents, who could never believe ill off our daughter, I think we missed a lot of signs that Emma exhibited that showed had some sort of psychological problem. If I were to list the signs we missed, here is a good start:

charm-superficial

high IQ

constantly lying

especially to deceive or exploit others

lack of empathy

gas-lighting

manipulation

grandiose self-image

narcissism

paranoia

lack of conscience

disregard for the safety of others

arrogance

opinionated

few actual friends

disregard for right or wrong

failure to consider or learn from negative consequences

need for stimulation and drama

One day, I would like to address each of these signs or symptoms (and more) as they apply to Emma, but I have to admit that when I read “disregard for the safety of others” it took me a while to get that one. Emma wasn’t some reckless kid drinking and driving, or doing drugs. That one just didn’t make sense to me. It took me a while to see that Oh………………….for example, accusing the priest of sexually molesting Emma was a perfect example. She didn’t stop to think of what kind of pain her actions would cause this man, it was just about Emma getting the attention she needed. Ok, I get it now.

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Once I understood Emma’s disregard for the safety of others, I understood a little more about her lies. Emma liked to play the victim, and in playing the victim, she needed someone to be the bad guy, hence, a lot of her stories made someone else look bad or stupid to make herself look better.

If you’ve read the blog, you know I’ve listed plenty of lies Emma told about others, and I want to go back and re-write and edit, because there are more I need to add. For example, Emma made the friends look bad who took her to the Cirque Du Soliel by claiming that they were talking all through the performance, and everyone around them was staring and poor Emma was so embarrassed to be sitting with them. Now, this kind of like didn’t really hurt anyone. It gave Emma a great story to tell and made her look good, but it wasn’t true. This is just one characteristic I saw so often in Emma. Emma lied about others in order to make herself look good.

I don’t know why recently, but another one of Emma’s lies that I hadn’t written about popped into my head recently. It had to do with the grandmother of one kids from Emma’s youth group, Rob Simmons. Emma sometimes had a crush on Rob, and I think he may have had a crush on her at times. Rob was a nice kid and Phill and I got to know him helping with some of the youth events, carpooling, and having him over at our house.

I don’t remember what the need was, but Kathryn, Rob’s grandmother asked Emma about the two of us helping with some volunteer something or other, but it was on a Saturday, and Emma told Kathryn that we volunteered with pet adoptions on Saturdays, so we could not help. Then, when Emma told me about the conversation, she told me that Kathryn made a comment about how could could use to volunteer with things around the church a little more, and the whole thing makes me laugh now. Emma got the response from me that she wanted. I don’t remember what I said, but I was a little annoyed that Kathryn dare criticize where and when I spend my time volunteering. For whatever reason, Emma wanted to portray Kathryn in a bad light, or to make me not like her, I suppose.

Now, it just seems funny because if you met Kathyrn, she was such a classy lady, I could not have ever pictured her saying anything like this. Kathryn was well educated, worked in education, and even in her 70’s was still working as a consultant. She was always well dressed and seemed to have endless energy, even with arthritis and some of the difficulties of old age, and was always busy and involved in church activities. And, Kathryn was polite and kind, and I never heard her utter negative word about anyone.

For whatever reason, just like Emma saying all the kids at school were having sex or doing drugs, except Emma, who was saving herself for marriage, Emma had to make those around her look bad in order to make herself look better. Emma, who claimed to have Google in her head, alternated between a superiority complex and playing the victim.

Emma’s friend, Kayla Benifield Weaver, was a sweet girl, but according to Emma, Kayla’s mom and step-dad were frequently drunk, and Kayla’s paternal grandparents, who’d graciously invited Emma to visit them (as Kayla lived with them and not with either of her bio-parents) were described by Emma as “racists” who used the N-word frequently and had all kinds of white supremacist propaganda in their home. Of course these stories did improve if you compare to when Emma was younger and tried to convince me that Kayla’s mom was engaged to Dan Rather. All that practice paid off. Emma became an accomplished liar. She did slip up a little when she started telling people that her mother poisoned her with DDT though. That one was pretty bad and nobody fell for it that I know of, even with her claim of having a toxicology report.

I’ve got to go back and re-read and highlight, but I remember reading in the book, The Sociopath Next-Door, by Martha Stout Ph.d, I think she mentioned something about how to recognize a sociopath was how they were a victim or wanted people to feel sorry for them. Like I said, I need to go back and re-read that book, and use a highlighter, but I remember reading that and thinking (ding, ding, ding, ding), “Yep, that’s Emma, always the victim.”

If you work with the public, or talk to people who work with the public, a lot of people will tell you that there’s a whole lot of undiagnosed mental illness out there. In other words, there are lots of crazy folks. For those of us who follow the rules, we are at a disadvantage. Someone like Emma with her “disregard for the safety of others” has the advantage. That’s how the unsuspecting commuter, waiting for a subway, gets pushed off the platform into the path of the oncoming train. Those of us that follow the rules feel we should be safe, standing, waiting for the subway. It’s the ol’ “do unto others” all over again. We certainly wouldn’t push someone in front of an oncoming train, so we should be able to stand there, perfectly safe, but there are people who don’t live by the same rules. We don’t recognize them, but THEY recognize US. That sweet baby who grew in my belly knows she’s safe. He mother isn’t going to harm her, but those rules only apply to some people, and the sociopath, can push her mother off the subway platform and not feel a thing, except maybe a little excitement. Causing chaos and pain can be fun to watch if you enjoy that sort of thing, and a lot of crazy folks have that need for drama.

I think Emma is what is called a high-functioning sociopath. I’ll let my readers google that one, and just say that that is why so many sociopaths are NOT in jail, where you think they would be. They are smart and know just how to push, manipulate, and control the situation enough and they know just how far they can go before they cross the line into illegal activity, so while they might lie, steal, frame a coworker, etc., they’re going to stop before they go too far.

Until next time, and thanks for reading!

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma has a career in sales.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

May 14, 2017

Mother’s Day

motherpin

This is my 7th Mother’s Day without my daughter. I had 16 Mother’s Days with Emma, and actually the 16th was pretty lousy, so I really had 15 good Mother’s Days with my daughter. It was just before that 16th Mother’s day,of 2010 that I had had told my sister in Ct. about Emma’s accusing the priest of sexual molestation. I think that was about the time Emma really began to hate me. I remember picking her up in the car and telling her that I had spoken with her aunt, and Emma was so furious she wouldn’t even speak to me. We were planning a trip to go visit, and my sister and brother-in-law would know something wasn’t right, so I felt I had to tell them. Emma’s control-freak, micro-managing mother was taking things too far, talking to police, counselors, family, friends, etc. The snowball was rolling down hill and picking up speed. All Emma wanted was attention, and she didn’t want the church, the police, the therapists, DFACS, multiple therapists involved. Well, actually, Emma did like some of the attention. She just wanted to pick and choose which attention she received. She loved her hour with the therapists where she had their undivided attention all focused on her for an entire hour. I remember when Emma was middle school age, and Phill kept calling her a drama queen. I thought he was overreacting a little bit to what was a typical pre-teen girl. Maybe he was, but it turned into what Phill used to call a “self-fulfilling prophesy” and Emma became that drama queen that he so often said she was. (And on the flip side, Phill became that dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks-dad that Emma always claimed he was.)

Mother’s Day was usually a quiet holiday in our home. We didn’t do big exciting gifts. Phill might get me some flowers and take Emma out to get me a small gift. That was fine. It was more the attention from Emma, when she was little, that made it a special day. She would hug me multiple times in a day and tell me “Happy Mother’s Day” over and over again. That was what made is special. Or just doing something together was what made it special. Phill might cook me dinner, and do the clean up, and that was a nice treat as well.

I was pretty disappointed in my 2016 Mother’s Day. Emma wanted to play for the Mother’s Day Fashion show after church. She loved all the attention she got for playing the piano, and that was fine. All I had asked for was that afterwards, we have an afternoon at Ft. Yargo, the local state park. I didn’t assume I would have to spell it out, but what I’d meant was a hike and a cookout at the park. For whatever reason, Phill was particularly dense and didn’t bother to get things together for the cookout, and Emma was sulky and sullen, a total non-joy for the afternoon, although at times, she’d put on her fakey smile and pretend like she was enjoying the day. My mother’s day gift from Emma was some candy from the dollar store. No thought or effort involved. I don’t think Emma even got or made me a card that year. Yep, definitely not a banner day.

If you have teenagers, you know how self-centered they can be, and I sure felt like an afterthought, but I knew that was typical for a kid Emma’s age. Occasionally, she could be so sweet and thoughtful, and then on a special day like Mother’s Day, Emma went to absolutely no trouble at all. I was disappointed, but thought that was a typical teen. There were other times, when Emma did something special for me, or was out and brought me home a little something when she was out, which showed me she did think of me, or did appreciate me. One of the sweetest things Emma ever did was to be nice to me when I had a migraine.

I suffered from migraines for years and would go lie in the darkened bedroom with the pillow over my eyes, and Emma would come in and hold my hand and always want to make me a cup of tea. Often times, I was nauseated and really didn’t want the tea, but Emma loved to do it for me, so I took it and thanked her and sipped on it. It was those things she did with love that meant so much to me.

Mother’s Day is difficult for a lot of women, and men too. Some people have lost their mothers. Some couples struggle with infertility and don’t know if they will every be parents. Some mothers have children far away in the military, or in prison, or just far away in another country. And many mothers have children like Emma, who are estranged or mentally ill or on drugs. The internet makes the world a very small place, and I’ve found that many mothers (and fathers) are dealing with the same thing that I have endured for the last 7 years.

I’m sorry Emma has turned out like she has, but I still had the joy of being a mother. The first few years were amazing. How I adored my precious little girl. When she was a baby, it seemed like whatever I did, I did with her in my arms or on my hip. When she was preschool age, I was still the one she wanted to help her with things or to kiss her boo-boos. It’s funny how you go from being that “My mom can do anything” kind of mom to the “My mom is so stupid” kind of mom in the blink of an eye.

In Emma’s case, I think homeschooling was a mistake. Someone pointed out to me that Phill and I didn’t want to see that there was a problem with Emma, and we didn’t realize how much she lied. This person mentioned that other kids would have caught on to Emma pretty quickly and she wouldn’t have been able to pull off a lot of the lies that she did. Kids her own age would have been a lot more savvy than her parents who were blinded by the love for their daughter. Of course, that has also made me wonder if it could have made Emma even worse, and maybe she would have turned into an even better liar had she attended school and been around other kids, some of who were probably just as devious as our sweet Emma.

But, for some people, homeschooling is amazing, and I did get to see some glimpses of that. It was amazing to see Emma grow and learn, and when she really was interested in a topic, seeing her research it on her own. Homeschooling sort of opened up the world to teach one that we are learning all the time, not just until 2:45 when school lets out.

I know for some kids, pulling away is normal. Just before going off to college, kids can be so obnoxious and unpleasant, that the parents want them to go away, and it helps the kids to break away and become more independent. Of course, most kids don’t go to the extreme that Emma did, lying about sexual abuse, accusing a priest, making up stories about a fake suicide attempt, lying about a friend’s mother’s illness, lying about her own mother…

I was reading some books recently and wondering if Emma had read them. We used to have a lot of good discussions about books. I miss that. Other times, I think how I was that boring “mom” and I was just a mom, the lowest of the low in Emma’s eyes. I’m lucky now that I have job I like, and working with the public, I definitely acquire some stories about work, and I miss being able to tell Emma about things, like when I worked at Master’s Academy and we would talk about our classes. Sometimes something will happen at work and I’ll think that instead of that boring introverted mother, Emma might actually think I was cool, and maybe now she wouldn’t look down on her ol’ boring mother. I wish we could talk and I could hear about her job selling insurance. How did she choose to go into this field? It’s a long way from the pediatrician my little girl wanted to become, not that that’s a bad thing. Most of us don’t choose our career when we’re in the 2nd grade. I would love to know how Emma became an insurance agent? Did she finish college or does she plan on it? I’m assuming Tyler is working on his Master’s, only because I’d always heard that you couldn’t really do much with a B.S. Architecture, even from a school like Notre Dame.  Does Emma like her job?  She does have the personality to make a good salesperson, I think.  I would think all her drama classes would contribute to convincing people to buy insurance too.

I was also thinking lately about how lucky I am that at least I know Emma is not alone out in California. She is married and with Tyler, so it does give me some comfort knowing my daughter is not in this big bad world all alone. I’ve known several people who are or were the parents of addicts and often (sometimes for years) had no idea where their children were or if they were even alive. As bad as this whole experience has been, I know it could be worse. At least I know Emma’s safe and not living on the streets somewhere.

So, for all you Mothers out there who are the parents of those “nightmare children,” just know that you are not alone. We may life in the shadows, because we have that child that we can’t brag about, and we are that mom that no one wants to be, but we are still moms, and just because our baby has taken a very bad turn, they are still our baby. Some kids will turn their lives around, and give their mom that happy ending. Others will go on whatever destructive path they have chosen, and they may have broken your heart, but you’ve survived. We mothers are a tough bunch.

Collateral

Lots of Love to you, dear readers. You can contact me through the website or e-mail me at losingemma@gmail.com

 

 

Trifecta Part 2, Daddy’s Family (Part 1)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

caesarhat4sm

Emma Katherine Roey

Daddy’s  Family

Emma,  I’m writing a couple of these posts to you, and then I will get back to writing about you.  I would much rather write to you privately, but since I don’t want to be threatened with a restraining order, I will have to do it here.  I had hoped, when you grew up, we could discuss these things and you could learn from my mistakes.  I don’t want to trash your dad’s family, but I will tell you how things were from my perspective and from what your dad told me.  I think you know about a lot of the “scandals” so I’m not going into the details on those.

By now, I think you’ve realized that every family is dysfunctional.  You know about my family life because we discussed it, but I don’t think your dad ever really discussed his with you.  I can only tell you what he told me and what I saw for myself.  I hope that learning about your family helps you figure out who you are, and by learning about your dad’s family, you will understand why your dad couldn’t face what you did, how he doesn’t like to argue or confront anyone, or do anything difficult.

Your dad grew up in a pretty tumultuous household.  He always said he didn’t like to argue because all the fighting in his home growing up made him literally sick to his stomach and he hated arguing.   Even after your dad and I had been married for years he claimed he didn’t like to argue because he would still get sick to his stomach.  And you know your dad and I could have a disagreement or an argument, and we still loved each other.  By now, you’ve been married long enough to know you are going to have arguments with someone you live with so closely.

Daddy’s  parents were divorced when he was a toddler, and fortunately they got along amicably.  Your grandfather was very easy going and passive, so your grandmother kind of ran things, including his life.  It was kind of funny when they came to visit.  Everyone always thought it was so strange that your grandmother traveled with her ex-husband and her current boyfriend.

Your grandmother had two divorces and many boyfriends, according to your dad.  The first marriage was very brief, and the second marriage sounded pretty bad right from the start, and there was a lot of fighting then.  Your grandmother had quite a temper and could swear like a sailor, but she was a hard worker, very generous, and could be very loving and kind.  It sounded to me like your grandmother was one of those people who didn’t feel validated without a man.  When your dad was growing up, if she didn’t have a husband, she went from one boyfriend to the next.  She was a real people person, if you saw her at the restaurant, and she chatted with everyone,  was very friendly, and made her customers feel special.  There were several male customers who paid a lot of attention to her.  After your dad and I were married, even though she had a boyfriend, there was a man named Pat who hung around the restaurant a lot at the end of the day because he was very fond of your grandmother.  I thought this was a little odd because he was married, and your dad mentioned that it had upset Kenny (her then boyfriend).  For a while, Kenny wasn’t allowed to go up to the restaurant because he got too jealous of the men that paid attention to your grandmother.   Your dad also told me that Pat at one time gave your grandmother the key to his safety deposit box that had something like $100,000.00 in it and it would all be hers if she married him or something like that.

Because your grandmother had to work as a waitress, your dad and his uncle were raised by their grandmother, Stella, until they got old enough that they were home alone.  They were pretty young when they started staying home alone, but this was a different time.  Your great grandma, Stella is another story, and I will tell you about her later.

Growing up, Daddy, as the older brother was expected to be the peacemaker and give in to his little brother.  You dad described your uncle A. and a child who would hold his breath until he passed out or pitch a big fit if he didn’t get his way.  To get things calm, Daddy always had to be the one to give in and do whatever little brother wanted.

When your dad and I were dating, your dad and Uncle A were roommates for a while after your dad’s roommates had gotten married, and your Uncle’s roommates had graduated college and moved on.  Your uncle got a free apartment for being a police officer, and agreeing to handle calls, sort of like he was the apartment security when he was home.  When your dad was home, he had to answer the calls.

Also, since your uncle got the free apartment, your dad had to pay for the utilities, which didn’t seem quite fair since your dad acted as security when your uncle wasn’t there.  One time when I was over, your uncle pointed out that a certain cat food was on sale, and when your dad said that the cat was your uncle’s cat and not his, your uncle said that since he lived there, he should pay for part of the cat food.

A few times, your uncle went to a movie with your dad and I, and he would always ask your dad, “Aren’t you going to get some popcorn.” So that he could have some without having to buy it.

One time, your dad and I had been out on a Sunday and he was having car trouble.  Daddy had to get up very early to be at UPS (his part time job before he became a driver) and he asked your uncle to borrow some tools to work on his car, and your uncle refused.  They argued, and Daddy was upset and went to his room.  Then your uncle wrote out a note and told me to deliver it to your dad.  I can’t remember word for word what the note said, but it was something about telling your dad he needed to admit that he should have worked on his car earlier instead of waiting until the last minute and to apologize.  It was so crazy and stupid to me, but your dad did what he had to do to borrow the tools, and he got the car running and made it to work .

After your dad and I were married, and after your cousin had been born, your uncle was too cheap to pay for trash pickup at the house, and he would take his trash to the police station and throw it out there.  Your grandparents came down, and I guess Uncle A. had taken some time off work, and hadn’t taken his trash to work.    They all came over to our house, and I will never forget your uncle opening up the trunk of his big old care and pulling out 17 large garbage bags and saying, “Here Phill, I thought you could put this out when you put your trash out.”  I was pretty angry at the gall, but said nothing.  Had your uncle asked us before hand, I don’t think I would have minded at all, but to just bring all that trash over to our house and not even say, “Would you mind…….!”

I had witnessed the way your uncle treated your dad for so long that I never much cared for your uncle.  Your dad always thought he was the better looking brother who always got the girls, etc., but I always thought your dad was such a much more decent person than your uncle.  They were very competitive.  Once, before we were married, I went hiking with your dad, Uncle A., and a friend of your dad’s.  It turned into a race up to Amicolola, which I have to say was one of the worst dates ever.  Of course I tried, but couldn’t keep up with the three of them, and I when I hike or walk I want to enjoy the scenery, look at things, etc.  It was not my idea of fun at all.

The one thing your dad did that was kind of funny, after we were married, was that every time we were around Uncle A., when we hadn’t seen him in a while, your dad would always find a reason to walk around behind your uncle when he was sitting down so that he could check our his hair loss.  As your know, your grandfather was pretty bald, and I figured both the boys would head that way eventually, but your dad had a lot more hair than Uncle A., and I guess that was the one thing he felt superior about.

I’ve heard that your dad and Uncle A. get along better now, but in all the years we were married, there was only one brief time that they got along well, and that was when A.’s first wife threw him out and his mistress had married the father of her child, and was no longer available.  A. was pretty sad and lonely and came over to see us some.  We hung out, went to movies, went bowling and such.   We introduced your uncle to a friend of ours and they became a couple right away, practically living together.  She fell in love with him, and with his little girl.  I much regretted introducing them when later, your Aunt K. dumped her husband and called Uncle A.  Your uncle immediately dropped our friend with no explanation.  She called my crying, with no clue as to why your uncle did not return her calls.  It was horrible, and I was so sorry for even being a part of it.

Except for this brief spell of niceness, your uncle was always rude and condescending to your dad, and I didn’t have much use for him.  I loved your dad and your dad was such a good person, that I hated seeing him treated this way by his own brother.

Shortly before you pulled all your “my mother is abusing me” stuff, your dad and I had talked about getting together with your dad and his family.  We hadn’t seen the girls in several years, and I think we were ready to try and have a relationship with your uncle’s family again.  Your dad and I were talking and your dad still had some anger towards his brother when he told me, “He cheated on every girlfriend he ever had, he cheated on his first wife, and I no doubt he’s probably cheated on K. (second wife) too.”  That kind of surprised me.

I know you know the problems that were going on with your cousins, and to be honest, your dad and I weren’t sure we wanted you around them.  Of course now, it sounds as if all three girls have grown up and gotten themselves together.  Little did I know that you would be the one whose problems made theirs pale in comparison.

To be continued…

Another Emma Believe It Or Not

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birdbandingcatbird

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Buchheim, Katie Smith, Emma Kate Roey, Sophie Buchheim

 

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Recently, I was traveling, and while driving along the coast and seeing the signs to Savannah, something popped into my head.  I  believe Emma was in 6th grade when the church youth group went on a try to Jekyll Island, Ga. to learn a little about bird banding. There was a couple at our church, Mr. and Mrs. P. who spent every fall banding birds and recording information. They’d been doing this for years. Emma seemed to enjoy the trip despite her complaining about the other kids. There was the one young lady that Emma never got along with, and Emma talked about how she latched on to one of the boys and spent the whole trip with him. (Perhaps a little jealousy there.)

 

This was also the trip where Emma complained about the new youth leader letting the girls watch the program “Sex and the City” and claimed that she picked up her sleeping bag and moved it to the kitchen. She claimed she told the group that she didn’t think her parents would want her watching that program. Whether or not that’s true, who knows? I think I can easily picture Emma making that story up to make herself sound a little high and mighty.
In 2007, Mrs. P. invited Emma and I to go to Jekyll while they were bird banding, since she knew we homeschooled and had a somewhat flexible schedule. We took her up on her offer and drove down there that September for a few days. Jekyll was beautiful, and learning about the bird banding was very interesting. We weren’t allowed to remove the birds from the nets, but we could hold the birds once they were handed to us. I was thrilled when I was able to recognize the subtle differences in some of the birds because when we first started, they all looked alike! In addition to Emma and myself, there was Mr. and Mrs. P, their grown son, and a friend of theirs who came down just before we left. Over dinner conversation, it was very clear that the politics of the group was liberal leaning, and Emma, being very opinionated, even as an 8th grader, did not like the conversations. As a mostly conservative myself, I agreed with somethings that were said and didn’t agree with some things, but it doesn’t upset me if my opinions differ from those around me. Emma, on the other hand, had no use for people whose perspectives were different from her own.
All in all, bird banding was a great educational experience.
A year or so later, when Emma was doing school on line, some of the ladies at church started a sewing group, and I thought Emma might enjoy that. Often, if I could let Emma do something without me, I would, to try to give her a little space without mommy always being around, so I took her to the group, but didn’t stay.
When I picked Emma up, she seemed to have enjoyed the group, but then started complaining about Mrs. P. and how she put down homeschooling, going on about homeschoolers being unsocialized, etc. Emma claimed that when Mrs. P. made some derogatory comment about homeschooling, Emma piped up and said, “Well, I’ve never known a pregnant homeschooler.”
Then Emma said, that another woman from our church, the mother of Savannah, one of the girls in the youth group, said something like, “Good one, Emma.”
I remember telling Phill about the incident, and it never occurred to us that it might not be true. We were kind of proud of Emma for speaking up, but sometime later, something bothered me about this story.Mrs. P. was a classy, polite, articulate, considerate, educated, kind lady. She’d known Emma for years, and knew Emma was homeschooled. I just cannot believe that she would have been putting down homeschooling in front of Emma, knowing that Emma was homeschooled, even if she did have feelings thoughts about it. She just wasn’t that type of person.
Have I called up Mrs. P. to ask her if this story even happened? No. I just classify this story under another Believe it or Not, and I’m not buying it.
So many times, I saw Emma be very judgmental against someone whose politics were different than Emma’s. That’s all it took for her to decide she didn’t like someone. I certainly hope she outgrows this behavior and can learn that people who think differently than you do can still have a lot to offer.
After we told my sister about Emma’s accusation of “molestation,” she later told me that Emma immediately told her that the priest she accused “molesting” her was a democrat. Doesn’t it seem a little odd that you claim to have been sexually abused by a priest, and one of the first things you tell someone about the situation is that he was a democrat?
I know this story is mall in comparison to some of the other things Emma’s done, but I think some of these small stories give you better insight into Emma’s personality, so I want to share them.
And Emma, I will give you credit for one thing though. You were right about your dad. I always joked about your dad being super smart but I wondered about his common sense sometimes. I guess in some ways, he is as dumb as you always said he was. Later on, I will tell you about your dad’s family and his relationships with them, and you can sort of understand why he is the way he is. (I would prefer not to write about this on the blog, but since we can’t talk in person I guess I will have to. And besides, nothing your dad or his family has in their history can be as bad as being a child abuser and attempted murderer, right? BTW, have you recovered from the residual effects of the DDT?  I hope you are happy and healthy.)

Thank you to my readers! Please feel free to write me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma and her Dad try to get a Restraining Order

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.</em

Emma frequently came in and laid on our bed to hand out and chat with me before I became that evil mommy! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma frequently came in and laid on our bed to hand out and chat with me before I became that evil mommy! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

You can read in my earlier posts (July 12, 2014 through August 17, 2014) about the Temporary Protective Order that Phill took out on me. I’m sure this was under the advice of his attorney, Seth Eisenberg (Bovis, Kyle, and Burch LLC).

Phill had been getting legal advice about Emma’s so-called molestation from one of his RC buddies, Mike. I believe it was Mike Howell, but there were a lot of Mikes, so I’m not really sure. It could have been Mike Downey. Hmm, I will look into it and see if I can clarify which Mike, but Mike was a former attorney himself. I’m just assuming Phill got his attorney, Seth Eisenberg, from some kind of recommendation from one of the Mikes.

My own attorney later told me that Seith Eisenberg told him, when they spoke privately, that Phill brought Emma with him to almost every appointment. He also said Emma asked every time she came about getting a restraining order against her mom. Seth told my attorney that he thought Emma was crazy and he would handle Phill’s divorce, but he wanted nothing to do with “that kid.”

It’s too bad attorney’s don’t get involved personally and maybe Seth could have told Phill that he thought there was something wrong with Emma and that maybe he needed to look into things a little further before he threw away his wife, but hey, I understand divorce attorneys aren’t counselors. They are there to make a buck off of someone else’s troubles. I did learn from MY personal experience that attorneys don’t think much of therapists and therapists don’t think much of attorneys, and neither of them have much nice to say about DFACS. Some of that was amusing anyway………..

In getting the TPO, two sheriff’s deputies showed up at my door (while Phill conveniently was out) and allowed me to pack a suitcase and leave my home. The sheriff’s deputies warned me about coming anywhere near my home or Phill or Emma, and not being stupid, I had no intention of doing such. Actually, the TPO was regarding Emma, but I wasn’t going to take any chances and was not going to get near Phill either. I was so shocked, stunned, distraught, and overwhelmed by the whole thing. Here I was, my husband of almost 27 years and my best friend had decided I was a child abuser and threw me out of my home. I loved Phill with all my heart and thought we could get through any difficulty together because we were a team. I just didn’t know I’d been fired, kicked off the team, or traded, or however you want to look at it. Phill sure had the element of surprise on his side. I knew Emma was lying, but I never expected my husband fall apart like he did and let her take over. I still thought we were a team and somehow, we would get through this. Now, I understand more about teens with control issues and how this was all partly a big power struggle, and how Emma won, but then again, she got a lot of help from her dad.

To be continued……….

FR

Emma Getting Married—A Mother’s thoughts

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

emmaandbeau-copy

Emma and fiance Tyler Albert Buchheim.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

For those of you attending Emma’s wedding, I hope everyone knows it is still Sept. 19, 2015, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, CA. Gee, I feel sorry for the people who go their plane tickets already  (wink wink) Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s an Ohio wedding?

In 2012, I heard Emma was engaged to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student from West Chester Township, Ohio, who attended Notre Dame University and whom Emma had met on line. I had mixed feelings. She was 19, and too young and immature to be engaged, and Tyler was her first boyfriend, but I was also saddened, no, heartbroken, that I didn’t hear about Emma meeting Tyler, falling in love, etc. from Emma. I felt like in addition to all I’d missed with Emma starting college, I’d missed hearing about something else that was so special in Emma’s life. She’s my daughter, and even with all the horrible things she’s done, I do love her, and I want to see her happy and to have a normal life, even though now I don’t think that is possible. Emma will never have a “normal” life.

I was sad at the thought of missing all the wedding things with Emma like seeing her walk down the aisle to marry the man she loves, helping her with arrangements, going dress shopping, attending her shower, etc.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Of course, later on, I was to find out that there was no engagement, according to Tyler’s mom, Sherry Buchheim, who e-mailed me several times and told me that Tyler was not ready to get in engaged, etc. Who knows, maybe Sherry was lying to cover up for Emma. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. I still find it odd that a family from Ohio would let their son’s girlfriend move from Georgia to Ohio, to move in with the boyfriend’s grandparents, if the relationship was not fairly serious. They’d even taken Emma on vacation to Hilton Head and even had professional pictures made of Emma and Tyler.

I felt obligated to warn Tyler’s family about what they were getting into, and saw no point in e-mailing a young man who was in love. Who would he believe? His girlfriend? Or her mother whom he’d never met? Instead, I contacted Tyler’s mother, Sherry Buchheim, and told her briefly what Emma had done. I gave her my name, address, phone number and e-mail address and told her I would be happy to answer any questions she might have. (I’ve already written about this, so dear readers, you can go back and read about “Bud the Boyfriend” to get the full story about Emma and Tyler Buchheim.) I knew that Emma marrying anyone was going to be a disaster.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Now, when I think about Emma getting married, it just makes me sad for her. What kind of marriage can she have? But then again, I am glad Emma’s getting married. She won’t be able to hide her crazy (with apologies to Miranda Lambert—I love that song!) forever, and once the newness and excitement wears off, and the young groom is close to Emma, living with her day in and day out, her husband is going to see that something’s not right. Eventually, the marriage will end in disaster, but of course, nothing will be Emma’s fault.

I was discussing this with a friend, who knew Emma a few years ago, and I guess after everything Phill and Emma put me through, I’ve come a long way. I was telling her that I don’t even feel like I’m missing anything by not attending Emma’s wedding because I feel like the whole thing is such a farce. Her marriage is just the countdown until the first divorce. Or, as my friend put it, it’s the countdown until the next train wreck.

Emma will have her wedding day, her pretty dress, her handsome groom, her wedding gifts, her honeymoon, and she will be the star of the show. But just wait until Act Two.

Special thanks to Face in Hole for the fun website!  Emma and I used to do those Jib Jab things where you put the face in (or the dog’s face!) and when I saw this site, I thought this was the kind of thing we would have sat there and played with, laughing hysterically as we made funny pictures.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. This one reminds me of Hillary Clinton.  Sorry, Emma, I know you would hate that comparison! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Letters to “Lacey” – Post Script (Updated 8/8/15)–more to come……..

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma at the William Holland School in 2010. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma at the William Holland School in 2010. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

WH2009

Emma at the William Holland School in 2009, giving me a dirty look for taking her photo. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Letter’s to Lacey – Post Script & Emma’s Purity Ring

I wanted to share Emma’s letters to “Lacey” to give my readers a better feel for what was going on in Emma’s head at that time. The letters are the writings of a teenage girl and written more like a diary. If you read through the letters, it would have been in Dec. of 2009 when Emma told her dad and I that “Lacey” had been raped and then tried to commit suicide. I won’t repeat the whole story here, but Phill and I had picked Emma up on her birthday, after her youth group. Emma was very upset and told us that “Lacey” had called her from the hospital and was hysterical………. You can go back and read the post where I already wrote about this.

I often wonder why Emma would do that to her “best friend” as she often called “Lacey.” Was it because she had never actually met “Lacey” so it would be easy to make up a story that no one would verify? I just don’t know enough about liars to understand why they do what they do. All kids lie. We all know that. A school counselor told me that lying becomes a problem when the lies hurt people. Then it goes beyond what is normal. Emma was lying and hurting people, most definitely. I don’t know when her lies started going too far, but as much as I love my daughter, I know she has a serious problem.

Lacey’s” parents also sent me some chat messages between Emma and “Lacey.” Most of them were pretty uneventful. In one chat message, after Phill had me thrown out of my home by the sheriff’s department, Emma told “Lacey” she and her dad were planning a rafting trip to TN, and since “Lacey” lived a couple of hours away, in NW Georgia, she asked about meeting up with her. Previously, Emma had tried several times to get “Lacey” to come visit. I had agreed if “Lacey’s” parents would allow her to visit that I’d be willing to drive halfway to meet up with her parents and pick “Lacey” up. Emma told me two Christmases in a row that “Lacey” was coming, and one spring break, and at least once over the summer, but these plans never materialized.

I find it odd that Emma still tried to meet up with “Lacey” when she and her dad were going white water rafting in TN. Emma told people that “Lacey” had been raped and attempted suicide, and she had the gall to ask her if she wanted “to meet up for coffee or something?” Did Emma not think that “Lacey” might not think there was something really wrong with this kid who told such horrible lies about her?

If you look up Narcissism on Wikipedia, you find: Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and others. Signs and Symptoms: People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy.[5]

Ding, ding, ding, ding!!

Emma is unable to see the destructive damage she causes to herself and to others! And, Emma is all about power (control).

Several people have told me they thought Emma was narcissistic, and I believe she is, but there’s more going on there than just that. I know Emma has some serious issues. Narcissism is only one of them. Emma accused me of having a Borderline personality, but I think Emma may have been diagnosing herself. Although, when Phill and I first read about Borderline Personality Disorder, Phill said this disorder described Sandra Brooks McCravy much more than it described me, the symptoms also describe Emma. Honestly, I think there’s a lot wrong with Emma. She may have parts of many other antisocial personality disorders, but we just didn’t have proper help to figure her out.

I know Emma has some serious issues, and I would guess some sort of antisocial personality disorder. From the signs we saw over the years, the lack of empathy, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, and nothing was ever Emma’s fault.  Emma could be cold, calculating and manipulative, secretive, well organized, and egocentric.   …Emma knew right from wrong, but rules didn’t apply to her. I think, having raised Emma and homeschooling her for 5 years, I knew her pretty well, but I had no idea what she was capable of. How do you admit you think your daughter could be a psychopath or a sociaopath? Psychopath was a term I heard all my life, but I never really knew the meaning. Phill used to call his mother’s live-in boyfriend, Kenny, a psychopath or a sociopath, but even then, I didn’t really know what those terms meant. After doing some research and talking to some professionals, I feel like I have a better understanding of psychopath vs. sociopath, and I truly believe Emma is a psychopath.  As a mother, it breaks my heart to think my child is mentally ill, but what Emma has done goes beyond normal teenage rebellion
When Emma was growing up, she could be such a brat and so difficult about what she wanted, and it didn’t matter what was going on with the rest of the family, it just mattered that Emma got what she wanted. I used to think to myself sarcastically, “All that matters is that Emma gets what SHE wants!” or I might say to myself, “Well, Emma IS the center of the universe.”
I often wonder when that switch flipped for good. Emma could be my loving little girl who wanted to cuddle and talk things over with mom before bed, and she could be a cold, calculating, wicked being. At some point, the psychopath won out. Emma fed the wrong wolf. (From the Indian Proverb of the Two Wolves)
As a mother, what makes me sad is that if Emma is truly a psychopath, she doesn’t know what love is. She can pretend to love in order to get what she wants, but she will never know what it is to give your heart to another human being. It is hard to imagine someone being so self-centered that they can’t truly love those around them. I will write about my thoughts on Emma getting married in the next post, but it makes me sad for both her and her husband. Talk about a train wreck.

On Feb. 7, 2010, about a month and a half before Emma told us she’d been sexually molested by the priest, Emma sent “Lacey” a message about going to a bead show and buying herself a “promise ring.” Back in my day, a promise ring was like a pre-engagement ring that a high school boy might give a girl that he planned on marrying one day. I think Emma’s calling her ring a “promise ring” in the chat message might have been an error because she told me it was a “purity ring” and many times after that, I heard her refer to it as her purity ring. The ring was a little silver ring with a citrine stone. It was very pretty and looked nice on Emma.

Emma’s purity was very important to her. She wanted to remain a virgin until she married, and as a mother, you are glad to hear your 10th grader say that! With all the STDs to worry about, and all the unplanned pregnancies…………………….. I didn’t have a problem with her wanting to hold off on sex. Of course, but the age of 17, when Phill had me thrown out of my home, Emma had never even been on a date. Her thoughts about premarital sex might have changed once she had a boyfriend.

Emma’s own purity was one thing, but she held everyone else to her high standards. She spoke so terribly about everyone she knew at high school when she was in 9th grade at Jackson County Comprehensive High School. Emma made it sound like she was the only “good girl” in the whole place. Of course, Phill and I knew things had changed a lot from when we were in high school, so we just sort of assumed Emma knew what she was talking about. I think part of it may have been that Emma didn’t have any friends, so she made excuses by saying everyone else did drugs and was having sex so she didn’t want to be friends with any of these people anyway.

Someone told me that Emma seemed to have a superiority complex, and that I can believe. Emma and I attended a bible study down the street at a neighbor’s home with a group of women. There were a few members who had grandchildren that had been born to unwed parents. When the daughter of one of the women got pregnant and was not married, she started coming to our group. When we had a shower for this young woman, Emma was opposed to it. Emma felt like we were rewarding this young woman for her bad behavior. I thought this was a teaching moment, and I tried to discuss it with Emma. We talked about how lucky this girl was that she was living with her parents who were supportive and willing to help her. Also, Emma was very strongly Pro-Life, so I pointed out that this young woman could have chosen to have an abortion, but she didn’t. I thought we had some good conversations, but Emma was still very judgmental. Everyone was a sinner but Emma.

At one time, Phill had worried that Emma might be a lesbian. She didn’t show much interest in boys, but you have to admit that middle school boys can be kind of goofy. I wasn’t worried, just figuring she was not boy crazy. I think Emma was about 12 when we were at pet adoptions and walked across the street to Costco to get an iced coffee. We were walking back and chatting. I don’t remember exactly what we were chatting about, I think there had been a lesbian couple looking at a dog, but Emma commented on whatever we were talking about and then said , “Oh, I know I like boys!” I came home and told Phill he didn’t have to worry anymore.

One other thing that I think is funny about the purity ring and some of Emma’s letters was when she said she went somewhere. Maybe all teenagers do that, but Emma didn’t say, “My mom took me to a bead show.” She tried to make it sound like she was an adult and went by herself. I saw this in some of her other letters. I guess that was that teenager trying to be independent. Just over a year after Emma bought her purity ring, she got all the independence she wanted.

Coming up next: My thoughts on Emma’s upcoming marriage…….and for those of you that may have missed it, Emma’s wedding date is still Sept. 19, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, Ca. Gee, hope you all didn’t get your plane tickets already. Of course, Emma may be marrying Tyler Buchhein, an architecture student who lives in Ohio instead of Jackson Miller…………..just a little bug someone put in my ear………..but then, I haven’t received my invitation yet, but if you go to: http://registry.theknot.com/emma-roey-jackson-miller-september-2015/10942079 you can look at Emma’s wedding site, but you do need the pin number or password. (Sorry, I don’t have it, so let me know if you do!)

Two More Letters, but first…….

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

July 19, 2015

Two More Letters to Go, but first……. There is a gap between Emma’s letter from Oct. 19, and her following letter dated Jan. 8. 2010. It is possible the girls were e-mailing and not writing, and I know they were texting a lot because Emma had always shared some of her news from “Lacey”. If you’ve read my previous posts, you already know that a lot of what Emma told me was not true, such as “Lacey’s mother being on death’s door with breast cancer….. I also heard a lot about “Lacey” and Aaron. Emma loved telling me about their relationship troubles. It was all very dramatic. From what Emma told me, Aaron was a freshman in college while “Lacey” was a freshman in high school. They met through church, on a mission trip, I believe. There was lots of drama about trying to keep her parents from finding out about her feelings for Aaron because they would not approve of the age difference, and Aaron and Lacey didn’t date at that point, but only saw each other at church. Later on, Emma told me about Aaron having dinner with a group of friends at a restaurant, and his old girlfriend showed up. He confessed to “Lacey” that they talked for a long time out in the parking lot after dinner, and he kissed her. Emma really hated him for that. I have never met “Lacey” and have only spoken with her mother. I have no idea if the stories about Aaron are true or not. Since Emma lied so much about “Lacey’s” rape, attempted suicide, and her mother’s breast cancer……, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the drama about Aaron was made up too.

Also, just after Emma’s last writing in Oct., Evan seemed to lose interest in Emma. They spent a lot of time together at the church hayride. I don’t remember the exact date, but it was around Halloween. They hayride was held at our deacon’s farm, and the adults visited, and we all cooked hot dogs over a fire while the kids rode around the farm several times on the hayride. Emma and Evan sat together and he had his arm around her. It was all very sweet. I remember getting into bed that night and Emma came in and laid down on the bed next to me to talk about the evening. She was a happy, young girl in love. She loved telling me stories about what the kids said and did, and especially what Evan said or did…….

Church Hay Ride 2009.

Church Hay Ride 2009.

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride. Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride.  In this picture you can see how sweet and loving Emma looks with her dad.  It was shortly after this picture was taken that Emma started complaining about her dad, saying she didn’t like him, and he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” daily.   Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I’m pretty sure I know why Evan lost interest in Emma, but it is very personal, and believe it or not, my goal is not to embarrass and humiliate Emma. It’s not something that needs to be shared in this blog and doesn’t relate to the horrible things Emma has done. My only goal is to tell the truth. This is something I would have liked to work out with Emma privately but because she threatens me with a restraining order if I contact her, I feel my only alternative is this blog.

The last time I heard from Emma was Jan. 14, 2014. Just before that, I received an e-mail from Emma about breaking up with Tyler Buchheim. Someone pointed out something to me recently that Emma and Tyler may not have broken up. They may have written me to make me think that they broke up, and now that Tyler is or has graduated college, they may be actually getting married. I’m not going to mention what was shared with me. I do have some things to say about Emma’s upcoming marriage, but that is for a different post. In my previous posts, I referred to Tyler as “Bud the Boyfriend.” Since some of you may not have read about Emma and Tyler, here is a short version of it:

Emma met Tyler on line. He was an architecture student at Notre Dame University. He came down to visit her in Ga., and she went on vacation with the Buchheim family to Hilton Head. She convinced his family that she was not safe at home and they invited Emma to move up to Liberty Township, Ohio and in with Tyler’s grandparents, as Tyler’s mother did not want the raging hormones under the same roof. Emma began telling people she was engaged, but did not expect these stories to get back to her mother. I contacted Sherry Buchheim, Tyler’s mother, and in addition to telling Sherry what Emma did here in Ga., lying about “Lacey,” and claiming to have been sexually abused by a priest and then physically abused by her mother, I also shared stories that Emma told about Tyler, his younger sister, and his parents. As to whether or not Emma and Tyler broke up, I do not know. They may have pulled another one over on Emma’s mother, but I don’t really care at this point. I took Tyler’s name out of the blog when I thought they’d broken up, but now that I’ve heard something to lead me to believe I was wrong, I will put his name back in and leave it until I find out otherwise. Here is that e-mail Emma sent when she claimed Tyler broke up with her:

“Well, I have to say, congratulations. I never imagined you could destroy my life so completely, but you have. You win. You’ve proven that no matter how hard I try to escape your damage and rebuild my life, you will still find a way to hurt me. And now you’ve taken away the most important, sweetest, kindest person in my life. Yes, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to know that all this crap got to be too much for Tyler, and he dumped me. In your twisted mind are we somehow even now, or will you continue destroying my life? I don’t even know what else you can do, really. I know now that I’ll never be able to have a relationship, because you’ll ruin that. You’ll stalk my schools, my jobs, and anything else I ever do. What’s your endgame? What do you want from me? What the hell do I have to do to get you to leave me alone and stop hurting innocent people with your inane blog??? And please don’t say you want to be a mother to me, because publicly degrading your child definitely crosses the point of no return on that, as I know I’m not the only one to tell you. Oh, and stalking my boyfriend and his family til they dumped me? That didn’t score points either. “

At one time, I was not going to post that e-mail because I wanted to give Emma the chance to clean up her act. From the beginning, I told Emma and her dad I would take down the blog and keep this between the three of us, but we needed to deal with it. Since Emma chose to continue with her lying, I changed my mind, so there it is. I e-mailed Emma back and told her I would not do this through e-mail and she could call me to discuss it. I then received an e-mail from Katherine Smith. (Emma goes by Katie Smith on Facebook, last I heard. If you are going to change your name to hide your indiscretions, be sure to choose something common.) Here is that e-mail:

January 8, 2014

RE: Email Message

DO NOT contact me again, in any form, at any time. Forms of contact include (but are not limited to): phone calls, voicemails, text messages, email messages, messages sent through a postal service, and physical/verbal in-person contact. Again, as of today, the eighth of January in two thousand and fourteen, I am requesting that you DO NOT contact me ever again, in any form. If you contact me again, I will take legal action against you.

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma had already sent me a “drop dead” letter when Phill and I were divorced, so this second one was no surprise.

A few months ago, someone asked me if Phill knew how lucky he was that what Emma did to me could have just as easily been done to him. Then, recently, a friend, who went through this whole horrible ordeal with me, and is someone whom I will always treasure for being there for me, said something about how Emma’s goal was to split up her parents. Who knows why, but first she tried to turn me against Phill by claiming that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” every day, and complaining about the way he touched her. I have wondered if I had taken the bait, if Emma would have accused her dad of sexual abuse rather than the priest. When I would not allow Emma to talk that way about her dad, she came up with the story about being sexually molested by the priest, and when that went too far, she had to stop it and came up with the story about her mother physically abusing her. By getting her mother out of the house, Emma got all the freedom and control she could ever want. By threatening to run away if her dad made her go to counseling with her mother, Emma had her dad right where she wanted him. Blood is thicker than water, and a daughter is blood, while a wife is only water. With all the lies and documentation I have about Emma’s lies, Phill knows the truth, but won’t discuss Emma. He is definitely not the man I thought I was married to. For someone who was proud to say he was eligible to join MENSA, you just have to wonder. The first time Phill told me he could have joined MENSA had he wanted to, we were pretty young, and me being of only average intelligence, I have to admit, I didn’t even know what it was. I wonder if Emma is eligible too. I always said she got her smarts from her dad.

Letters to “Lacey” Part 18 *********(Completed 7/17/15)************

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others. As of now, Emma’s planning on getting married on Sept. 19, 2015.

Part 18
Oct. 5, 2009 (Emma starts another 7 page letter to “Lacey.”)
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Emma tells “Lacey” she had a pretty good weekend. She was supposed to babysit T. on fri, but her mom was too tired to go to the church book club, so Emma went. The group was talking about “blips” in life when something goes wrong and changes your life such as bad marriages, bad parents, divorce, etc. Emma says she likes listening but pretty much kept quiet since she hadn’t read the book and didn’t have enough life experience to comment. We took a break to get food, and them Emma talks about Evan’s mom, Ms. M. saying to her, “Emma, I bet you’re sitting there thinking this is never going to happen to you, and she said it really sharply, but she’s like that to everybody, so Emma doesn’t take it personally. Emma says she was actually think that Annie D’s bracelet was pretty and she’d never seen her wear it to book club before, not that Emma would admit what she was thinking. Emma says she told Ms. M. how she’d been thinking how nice it was to be in a group of ladies and how we all seemed to have a bond even though some of us didn’t know each other that well. Emma says she feels like Ms. M. is attacking her, even though she thinks that is just how she is…

Emma goes on to say that o Saturday, they practiced at church all day long on their skit for the sock hop. Jordan is great at choreographing, so she told everyone what to do. They have a rough plan now, but need a few more rehearsals. Emma says she has a great costume—a cheerleading outfit from the fifties that Aunt Janice made—yes literally sewed every stitch herself—when she was in high school. It fits Emma perfectly. She wore it to church to make an announcement and to just generally draw attention to herself. Then she dragged everyone who was in church (Alex, Rob, Evan) up to the front during announcements to invite everyone to the dance. Evan and Rob were acolyting, so they were already up front….and when they went up for Communion, they were kneeling at the altar and Emma’s dad whispered, “Evan’s staring at you….Emma, look, why is he staring at you…” And Emma said “Daddy, its ok!! Be Quiet!!” As she later pointed out, who wouldn’t be staring at someone in a fifties cheerleading uniform anyway? Daddy’s not that observant, so he believed Emma. Evan always watches Emma, she says, but no one else usually notices, or at any rate, they don’t comment…..and if Daddy notices, he comments.

Ok, she sort of got sidetracked there. Emma says. The talks about finding 4 traffic cones and makes fun of Jordan for telling them to, “Make a circle with these!” and mentions pointing out to Jordan that they made a square, not a circle.
Emma talks about the Blessing of the Animals service and says she doesn’t understand people who aren’t used to animals. The youth group were supposed to be doing a dog wash for a fundraiser, and Emma claimed that Evan was supposed to dry the animals, but just draped a towel around a dog and asked “Is that right?”

Oct. 12, 2009

Emma apologizes for not sending this letter last week and says she will finish it and send it tomorrow, she hopes. She talks about acolyte training, which they had the day before, and the new junior acolytes which she is excited about. The new ones are enthusiastic and clueless so they do whatever Emma tells them very cheerfully. She complains about Fr. T’s son being book bearer, and says she is never going through that again. She complains that Trevor (name changed) is bipolar…..severe bipolar…and she thinks he has a problem with women, particularly as authority figures. He does not and has never liked Emma or Jordan,, and threw a royal fit about getting robed………….So while Emma is dealing with an eighth grader throwing a hissy fit, she’s also trying to get two acolytes who have no clue what they are doing to light candles. And of course, it’s a Baptism, so there are a ton of extra candles, all of which have to be lit in the correct order. Emma doesn’t mind helping a couple of the acolytes who are new and trying their hardest but Trevor is a different story. Emma claims she told an adult that she is never serving with him again. If he won’t accept her as team captain, there is really no point in trying. She is too type-A assertive/aggressive to put up with that, and no one’s going to be happy.

Emma talks about the Peace, when, congregants greet each other and hug or shake hands, and how she was thankful her parents sat on an asile so she go see them without making her way through a row of people who all wanted to talk to her. She was saying goodbye and getting ready to run back up front when she heard her name and of course, she’d know his voice anywhere, even in a room full of talking people. She spun around and was in his arms, not that she minds, but remember this is right besider her parents, so of course they had a field day with that one. Mother was gleeful and daddy was sulky/pouty………… Emma says she is not sure what is going on! She has a list in her head why she thinks he loves her vs. why he doesn’t. the first list goes something like this: he says he loves her. He texts her to ask her questions he already knows the answers to. In church he somehow always ends up sitting where she can see him and he can see her even when that means not sitting with his mom. He watches her all the time and the only time he’s not standing or sitting by her is if her parents are around. She calls to ask him one question which everyone else has answered in 5 seconds and they end up talking for 20 minutes about random, inconsequential, irrelevant stuff. The second list: He hasn’t asked her out. Sometimes he won’t even look at her if her parents are around. She knows his brother hates her (he hates everyone at church, but still) and she has no idea what to make of his mom. And he has no reason to like her anyway!

Soooo, Emma doesn’t know what to think! Oh and after church we went to a brunch at Chateau Elan, which has really good and really expensive food, and listened to talk about stewardship and pledging. Emma claims Ms. M., Evan’s mom, was one table over and she swears that every time she looked up, Ms. M. was staring at her.
Emma goes on to talk about whom we were sitting with at Chateau Elan and how she served at the wedding of a couple there and how Jordan was in love with the son of the husband…………

(I wouldn’t say Emma’s dad was “sulky/pouty” over her and Evan, nor was I gleeful. It was nice to see Emma happy, and since she talked about Evan all the time, like I said earlier, it wasn’t exactly a secret. The whole church saw them together, but most of us were adult enough to know it was young love and didn’t necessarily mean we should expect wedding bells!)

Oct. 15, 2009
Emma talks about going to Wed. night Sunday school and says she thinks it’s cute how Evan starts out on the other side of the room from her, next to Rob, and within five minutes, he comes to get something off a shelf behind Emma and sits down right beside her for the rest of class. She doesn’t know if anyone else notices, but she does, and it makes her happy.

……..in class they were talking about the part of the Gospel where Jesus calls a certain group of people hypocrites, and Ms. Shanna added, “we can see a lot of hupocrites in history…” and knowing that she and Ms. Greeson (the other teacher) agree with Emma, she feels the need to add, “Or prominent political figures.” And that got everyone laughing…….Emma says everyone there, except maybe Molly, know Emma’s opinion of the President.

Emma mentions how she likes both her teachers. They are both young, with young children, and agree with her politically, and they are just really nice. They treat her with respect, and Ms. Shanna informed Trevor that Emma is one of the most mature people she knows and he will treat her as an adult while he is in her class. They have a lot of art materials in the classroom and they are supposed to be doing something while they are talking, but Emma never does, so she just sits. She will never be happy with anything she draws, paints, etc. There is always some detail that bothers her, so she just sits. She wonders what they think about that. Next week she may pick up a piece of paper and just sit there with it. Just to make it look like she is thinking about doing something. Even though she never actually would. She doesn’t want them to think she’s not participating or that she thinks she is too good for it. She actually not good enough to do art. Even stringing beads. Everyone’s made cross necklaces to wear while they’re in the room, but she knows she wouldn’t be happy with the one she made, so she doesn’t make one.

Emma complains, “It’s so hard, “Lacey!’” She is having problems with walls again. She loves him, but she is afraid to love him. It was fine to like him when she thought he didn’t like her, but now that she thinks he loves her, it’s scary. Emma thinks about him all the time and then she wonders if he’s thinking about her. And when he looks at her, her heart flies so fast that she feels like she is going to faint she didn’t used to do that because whether she loved him or not, she never thought anything would come of it. Now she always wonders what he’s thinking and she doesn’t know what to say when he talks to her. She always manages to say something semi-intelligent, but then she thinks of a million other things she should have said. She wishes he would tell her he loves her again. Emma has this irrational hope that maybe something will happen tonight (when setting up for the Sock Hop) or tomorrow at the dance. Her parents will be there tomorrow, but not tonight…although she doesn’t really expect anything to happen. She wishes “Lacey” were there. She wishes she could talk to him. Well, no that’s not true. She wishes he would talk to her, except that when he looks at her he blushes and she can’t meet his eyes for more than a second. She wonders if he notices. He notices more about her than she realizes, she does know that. On Monday he brought up something that she’d said like three years ago that she barely even remembers. Emma doesn’t know whether she’s in love with him or not, although she knows he loves her. And she can’t tell her mom that she’s in love and has been since forever because she’d think Emma was silly.

Emma doesn’t care how sweet Aaron is, he is not allowed to think evil things involving “Lacey!”
“The journey from your mind to your hands/is shorter than you’re thinking…” Slow Fade by Casting Crowns.
Ok, Emma says not to worry she is kidding. Sort of. She doesn’t really know Aaron so shee can’t judge him. If he’s good to “Lacey” then Emma likes him. If he breaks her heart, he’s evil and villainous and she hates him to pieces. “Lacey” will have to print a pic of the two of them together and send it to Emma.
(And No, Emma, I never thought you were silly when you were in love with Evan. It was sweet. Love is love whether you are 15 like you were at the time or whether you are an old 48, like I was and still in love with your dad. Love is love, and it was your first serious crush, and a really big deal for you.

And another Casting Crowns Song you used to like, Emma:

She is running

a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

She is trying, but the canyon’s ever widening

In the depths of her cold heart

So she sets out on another misadventure just to find

She’s another two years older

and she’s three more steps behind….

Does Anybody Hear Her by Casting Crowns)

Oct. 17 2009
Emma spends the next three pages talking about Evan and the sock hop. The kids put on the skit they’d been working on, and then Evan pulled Emma on to the dance floor and it was a slow dance and there were only two other couple dancing, so of course Emma feels her parents staring at her. Emma says they danced about the next 7 songs and then one of the little boys started hitting Evan with balloons and he said, “Stop. I’m with my girl.” Emma wonders if she is “his girl” then why hasn’t he asked her out………….

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was I took of Emma dancing with her dad. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was this one I took of Emma dancing with her dad. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

Oct. 19, 2009

Emma talks about the Corn Maze trip and of course lots and lots about Evan…………sitting next to Evan in the car……….usual teenage girl in love kind of stuff……….wishing she could go back to last Friday night. She was so happy then. It was like everything was different that night. Different isn’t the word. She doesn’t even know that there is a word…and normally Evan wouldn’t hold her hand or put his arm around her, but for some reason it was ok and now they are back in the real world and it’s not ok anymore and she wants it to be ok, but she doesn’t know what to do about it………..Her life revolves around when she will see him next. She wants to have a heart-to-heart with him but is afraid to. She thinks about it all the time. She doesn’t know how much longer she can take this. It is stressing her out and she doesn’t focus on school or anything else for long. She wishes she could talk to someone, but there is no one “here” she can trust.

Thanks for listening! Love ya!
Emma-Kate

(Emma was a little paranoid about her parents “staring” at her.  It wasn’t a large group, and it wasn’t a large room, but Phill and I tried to give Emma some space.  And besides, we really enjoyed watching the adults dance.  Phill and i were to totally uncoordinated people, and the only dancing we did was slow dancing in the privacy of our kitchen!

Now, let me see if I can find that Sock Hop video………….)


Letters to “Lacey” Part 17

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Part 17
The following Day Emma starts another letter to “Lacey.”

Sept.29, 2009

Emma asks “Lacey” how she is and talks about the cool morning…
Emma then complains about going to the mall the day before to pick up her portraits, ugh. Tey are ok. She likes a couple of them, but of course it is the ones she doesn’t like that her parents had wallets and stuff printed of. We also went to Bath and Body Works, and Emma says she needs to stay away from that store. She loves all the pretty smells, but has four different ones….

Emma says that when “Lacey” is down at Christmas, they will go to the mall, and goes on to make fun of her mom, telling “Lacey” that her dad called and asked where we were, and her mother said, “Are we upstairs?” and how the cashier was laughing at her. Emma says when you look outside and see a balcony, obviously we are upstairs.

Emma reminds “Lacey” that they were talking about her parents being nosy. That is why she created a yahoo e-mail account. They don’t know about it, so they don’t snoop in it. Every time she uses it, she deletes it from her history so they wonn’t see it. She only e-mails “Lacey” and a few school friends from it, so she doesn’t think it’s that bad. She would never get into anything bad on the internet or give that address to anyone she didn’t know well, so she doesn’t feel too awful about keeping it secret from them. Also, she’s 90% sure they go through her text messages, so she deletes anything she doesn’t want them to see. It’s nothing bad, just what she told “Lacey” the night before. She wouldn’t want her parents to see that. She does have reason not to trust her parents. They are both awful liars. They can’t keep secrets for a minute. They’re just one of the things that could hurt her, so she doesn’t tell.
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I love how Emma complains about the portraits (previously posted) we got from JC Penney. We had a coupon for $3/sheet of 8”x10”s, 2 5”x7”s, wallets, whatever. The price was very reasonable. When we looked at the proofs, I picked out the photos I wanted, and I let Emma pick out what she wanted. In addition to what we bought, her dad copied and made prints of them with the computer. Once again, Emma just had to find something to complain about, when she had nothing to complain about. It makes such a better story than saying, “My mom let me pick out the prints I wanted.”

The story about me not knowing if I were upstairs or downstairs at the mall may or may not be true. I am not much of a shopper, and I know there were two Bath and Body Works at the Mall of Georgia, however if we were close enough to the front of the store, I believe I would have figured out that we were upstairs. Emma’s poor, stupid mother.

Emma once complained that her dad and I lied to her, and we got into an argument. I told her that we might not tell her things that we did not feel were appropriate for her to know but we did not deliberately lie to her. She went on and on about how oh yes we did, so I asked her what we lied about. Her answer was, “Santa Claus.” So, sue us, Emma.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Sept. 30, 2009

Emma complains again about the cold and says she wishes she could have talked to “Lacey” last night. She complains that for two weeks in a row she has absolutely been unable to focus. Sigh. Not good. She was texting “him” last night, and she thinks she has already told “Lacey” that he will randomly start talking in Spanish, and no one can understand him because Emma is the only other one in Spanish and she is only in her first year. Emma says she is going to have to delete her Inbox soon. It is too full ad she doesn’t want to wade through it to decide what to keep.
Emma says she was asking Evan (aka “him”) to talk to anybody in the youth group that goes to Wednesday night Faith Formation about a project. Emma explains that the church moved Sunday school to Wed nights, and she can’t go because she has Forensics meetings and her mom says it is too much in one night. 
“Si mi amor.”
“Yes,, what???? I’m not that far yet.”
“Yes.”
“No I got that part. What is ‘mi amor’”?
“My love.”
“Love you too. I have to go to a meeting though [sic] I will txt you later.” Only, Emma complains, that she didn’t get to talk to him anymore last night because her meeting ran late and she was tired, but then she couldn’t sleep of course, so hopefully today.
Emma wishes she could fast forward to Saturday because the kids were tomeet at the church for skit practice…..


I would just like to point out another lie when Emma says her mother said “it’s too much in one night .” Poor Emma. Being the victim must be so exhausting. Because Emma really didn’t have any friends, and she quit most activities she tried, I took her to any church activity she wanted to go to, especially the youth group (and if Phill was around, he took her as well). The reason Emma could not go that Wed. night was because her Forensics meetings conflicted with her Faith Formation class, not because her mean ol’ mother said it was too much. It was not possible to do both activities, and she had to attend the Forensic meetings because it was a part of her grade, but doesn’t it sound soooo much more interesting to blame her mother for not getting to see “su amor” (her love).

Emma complains about going to the orthodontist and says she can’t wait to get her braces off (sometime next year). She says she is happy now because her mom says she can go to Faith Formation tonight! She is so happy, but of course she didn’t tell her mother why or act overly excited, but she can tell “Lacey” she is happy!  Except her teeth hurt which makes her not happy. Oh well, nothing is perfect. She is kind of nervous too but no one will ever know that except her and maybe him. Why can’t she feel as assured as she acts? If only she was a good enough actress to fool herself, that would really be something… Oooh, she almost doesn’t want to go tonight. He doesn’t think she is going because she didn’t know she was going until this morning. She knows he will be there though. Why does life have to be so darn complicated? And she didn’t tell mother about anything last night, so does she need to tell her before we go? She doesn’t think she is going to. She doesn’t think she will bring it up.

Emma says she is totally messed up. She is happy, but not happy. She is nervous, but excited. This is silly, but for once she doesn’t know how to stop being silly. Of course, she can cover it up with acting, but she can’t hide it from herself. Acting is how she builds her wall. She builds a facade so people think they know her and then she carefully adds to it so they never think to look under it. Sigh. She is going to go. She should look forward to it. Be Happy. Be Happy. Emma needs to be happy and bubbly and everything else she wants people to think she is.

Emma says she is so hyper. She wants to go and she has to wait three whole hours, during which she will be absolutely useless because she is totally not concentrating. Maybe while everyone’s coming in she can slip outside with the little kids and see him without her mom. Assuming we get there first. She will have to try to discreetly get her mom to leave early. Set the clocks ahead? Hmmm, too complicated….

Well, Emma says she was more honest there than she usually is, which she almost regrets She wants to just take out this whole page, but she will not. Because “Lacey” is not going to hurt her and her parents are never going to see this. So there is nothing to be afraid of. Emma tells “Lacey” to let her know what is going on with her!! And Aaron!!
Love ya!!
Emma-Kate


Ahhhh, young love and teen angst all rolled up into one. I don’t remember why we went to Faith Formation that particular night. My guess would be that Emma’s Forensics meeting was cancelled or postponed. I’m also not sure about Emma trying to discretely see Evan without her mom. When we got to the church, I always went and sat with the adults and she went off with the youth. Emma talked about Evan at home all the time at hone, so it’s not like it was a big secret. Everyone at church saw the two of them together frequently, so it wasn’t a secret there either.