Emma’s Shane Co. Commercial

Posted on September 30, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

My apologies to my readers for not writing much lately. I have been really busy, so I just haven’t had a lot of time to write. I appreciate those of you who are interested in Emma’s story.

I have some more I want to add to the previous post, and hopefully I’ll get to that soon, but I found this old commercial that Emma did, and I wanted to share it. First, I will give you a little background:

Emma was involved in a homeschool arts program called Master’s Academy, where the kids would study a particular period of history for the entire year. The first half of the year, the kids took classes in Art, History, and Music, all relating to whatever time period they were studying (Ancient, Medieval/Renaissance, Baroque, Classical, Romantic, Modern) The second half of the year, the kids took electives which also pertained to the time period.) While studying the Ancient period, Emma’s history teacher gave the kids an assignment to make a commercial for something to do with the Ancient time period.

One afternoon, Emma and I were taking the dogs for a walk, something we did about everyday, and as we were walking up Deer Creek Trail, to the front of the subdivision, I got the idea for the Shane Company commercial. Since I was teaching an electives class on making Egyptian collars, of course I had jewelry on my mind, and we’d heard the recent Shane Company commercial on the radio over and over and over again. I know this is kind of like the parents’ doing the kid’s science project, and I pretty much wrote the commercial, but Emma did perform it, so I don’t feel too badly about doing her homework for her. I just took the current commercial and started inserting a few changes that applied to what Emma had been studying. (I guess Emma didn’t consider me a Control Freak when I was doing her work for her. It was only when I acted as her homeschool teacher that she called me that as well as accused me of miromanaging her life.)

As you can see from the video, Emma did a great job performing her commercial, and her teacher loved it! Emma’s commercial was definitely one of the best, and on Parent’s Night, they showed four commercials to the audience, and Emma’s was one of them. I’m posting a link below where you can see the commercial on Youtube. I love how at the end of the commercial Emma is trying not to laugh.

Emma’s Shane Company Commercial

In the commercial, Emma is wearing an Egyptian Collar that I made. I taught a class in how to make them as one of the electives at Master’s Academy that year.

Emma wore this Egyptian collar that I made when she performed her Shane Company Commercial.

Coming up next: Emma’s First Boyfriend

The Girl Who Would Be Me

Posted on September 9, 2014 by losingemma

Emma at Old Rhinebeck Aerodome in Rhinebeck NY, 2006

The NEW Woman of the House (The Girl Who Would Be Me)

Just before and right after being removed from my home, we started what I jokingly called the “Emma Dates Her Dad” period. (And since I get asked this all the time, let me just stay that no, I never thought there was anything incestuous going on between Emma and her dad. Up until Emma figured out how much power she had by claiming to be abused, she was always a mommy’s girl. Phill was always a little envious that Emma always wanted to be with me, wanted to talk to me, to confide in me, etc, but they had a pretty good relationship. Emma frequently made fun of her dad for being a geek, or dorky or whatever, and occasionally I got on to her when she got a little mean, but they got along well.)

While I sat home alone one night, Phill went over to the home of Randall and Cora Andrews, the neighbors who lived behind us, to sit out and drink beer. It was Randall and Cora, John and Judy Hall, whom Emma was staying with that night, and Phill. He told me later that the Hoschton mayor, Erma Denney, who was another neighbor who lived behind us, stopped by. As I knew Erma and had helped her with a rescue dog she had found, I’m sure Phill must have found it a little awkward to explain to the mayor where his wife was.

While I was out of town so Emma could be home for Spring Break, Phill and Emma, in addition to seeing a divorce lawyer, were going out on the town, to the Atlanta Aquarium, out to eat, to movies, etc. Just a fun family stay-cation for the abused child while Emma was on Spring Break. As I mentioned earlier, I was hurt when I found out they went to the Aquarium as we had talked about doing that as a family.

Emma began posting things on her facebook about all the chores she was doing at home (essentially my chores). In one post she bragged about how quickly she got the dishes out of the dishwasher and put them away. This was kind of funny because Emma could take 30-40 minutes to put the dishes away. One day, out of curiosity, I timed myself and told Emma that it took me 7 ½ minutes to casually put the dishes away, so there was no reason for her to take so long. Of course, when Emma made her facebook post, her time was under 7 minutes. As much as she hated me, she WAS me!

Emma bragged about taking care of the dogs and the guinea pig and posted something about all the furry creatures fed and taken care of.

Emma wrote about the first time she played piano for our new church, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga. I was heartbroken that I was not there to hear her. I guess that was my payback for all those years of driving her to piano lessons!

She also posted a picture of her on a swing at church, looking up at the sky, and said something about how bigger churches may have all this stuff, but our church had a swing. That one was a little odd, but she looked pretty and sweet, like a good Christian girl looking towards the heavens.

Phill wrote about going out to a bar or restaurant where one of his RC buddies played in a band and posted a picture of Emma standing there listening to the music. I remember his comment, “A good time was had by all.” At the time, I wondered if that was deliberately to try and hurt me, an attempt to show how much fun he and his daughter were having without the evil mom.

Phill also took Emma white water rafting and posted the pictures on facebook. Again, this was something I had talked about doing with the church youth group, and I was heartbroken not to go with my family.
Phill let Emma skip a week of school to go with him to SEFF (Southeastern Electric Flight Festival) in Americus, Ga. After all, with all the pressure of being an abused child, she needed a little vacation.

Emma posted about going out to dinner and eating steak with other UPS drivers and their wives that we we occasionally met for dinner: Randall and Cora Andrews, Tim and Elizabeth Hince, Carl and Connie Lehman, Tommy and Dennise Thompson, Kevin and Jocelyn O’Gorman.

Phill had not wanted Emma to get her driver’s license until she was 18, but with the evil mother out of the house, he needed her to be able to get to school, so he reversed his decision on this and let Emma get her license and bought her a car. When she totaled that car, he bought her another, and I heard from a neighbor that Emma totaled the 2nd car, too.

Once Emma had her driver’s license, she posted on facebook about her trips to the grocery store.

So many of Emma’s posts about all the chores she was doing were kind of humorous. Emma was the child who could take 3 hours to do a 5 minute chore, but now that she was running the household, it was different!

I’m not sure how Facebook works, but in the relationship section, where you have your husband, sisters, daughter, etc., next to Emma on my Facebook, it said “Pending,” so I guess that is what you do when you remove a relationship.

Emma then removed me as well as my sister and her to girls (Emma’s cousins) from her Facebook and blocked all of us so that we could not see anything she did. As one of my nieces put it, “It is her loss.”

In June, we had a trip planned with my sister and one of my nieces who was coming from CO. Emma was really looking forward to rooming with her cousin, but it ended up being me, my sister, and my neice who went on the trip, as Emma did not go.

After Emma removed me, I removed Phill from my Facebook. It was all just too painful.

During that summer of 2011, I went up and stayed with my sister and brother-in-law in Ct. for a couple of months. They were a lot of support while the divorce was going on. Somewhere in there, I got copies of all the e-mails Emma sent to “Lacey.” And I let Phill know. I expected Emma to ‘fess up, knowing that I had a stack of lies that she’d written, and that my attorney was talking to “Lacey’s” parents about Emma’s claim that “Lacey” was raped and had attempted suicide. Phill took Emma up to visit his mother in Brick, New Jersey, and I half expected him to show up and apologize, but to this day, Phill has no answer as to why Emma claimed “Lacey” was raped and attempted suicide. I’ve pointed out all the other lies Emma told such as “Lacey’s” mother in the hospital, with breast cancer, Emma accusing me of poisoning her with DDT, Emma’s story about babysitting the priest’s two boys and having to call 911 when the older son got out of control, Emma’s story about being drug searched at school, etc., etc., etc., and Phill refuses to talk about Emma with me. I am not allowed to call, as he will not speak to me. He threatens to block my e-mails or texts if I contact him about anything other than the alimony being late (which it is frequently) or picking up my things (which he still has).

In 2012, one of Phill’s friends sent me some photos just to let me know what was going on. Unfortunately, I looked at them and deleted them. Of course, now I wish I’d saved them, but oh, well!

Sometime, in 2012, Phill was confirmed at Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga., by Father George Ivey and there was a nice picture of Phill kneeling at the altar. Emma was about 12 when Phill was baptized by the priest that Emma would later accuse of sexually molestation. She had really hounded Phill about getting baptized. It was more important to her than it was to him. I’m guessing that she hounded him about getting confirmed as well.

I’ve occasionally wondered what Emma’s collection of therapists would say about Emma accusing the priest who baptized her dad of sexual molestation. Emma wanted her dad baptized so badly, and yet she accuses the priest of a crime. It seems like a decent psychologist might have something interesting to say about all that. (Dr. Richard Born (Allied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.), Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.), Suzie McGarvey (Lanier Counseling, now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) , Rachel Hutchinson, Emily Kirby, Candace Whitman, Tamesha (Social Empowerment Center, Lawrenceville, Ga.) Heather Thompson (Jefferson High School), etc., etc.

Also in 2012, Emma threw her Dad a surprise birthday party. Since there was a picture of her and her friend, Abbey Benito, in with the party pictures at our home, I’m assuming Abbey helped Emma with the party.

Abbey Benito was a friend of Emma’s from the homeschool arts program that we were involved in. She was in Emma’s class and a lovely girl. Abbey was tall, quiet, well-behaved, and quite an artist who almost always had a sketch pad in her hand. I remember Abbey’s mom, Donna Benito, telling me that ever since she was little, Abbey liked to draw and it was something she did all the time. One semester, I worked as an assistant to one of the art teachers, and Abbey was in one of the drawing classes. I always enjoyed seeing her work. I think between her gift and all her years of practice, she was such a talented artist and now attends Anderson University in Anderson, S.C.

When I started teaching at the arts program, my first class was a Wire Jewelry class. I had never taught a class like this before, and working with kids was challenging, but I really enjoyed it. I felt like I learned as much from the kids as they did from me. Abbey was in my very first class, but she did not do well at it. Wire Jewlery can take a little time to get the hang of, and I don’t think Abbey got it as first. There was another young lady who had a difficult time, but this girl stuck with it and ended up taking pretty much all my classes and doing very, very well.

Unfortunately, I may have neglected Abbey a little bit. It was my first time teaching, and it was difficult with the kids constantly calling out and asking me for help. Abbey was so quiet and never asked for help, so I had to make an effort to check on her as she struggled in class. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and I felt like I probably did not give Abbey enough attention. Later on, Emma seemed to enjoy telling me that Abbey did not like my class. Emma did not mind when I worked as an aid at the program, but when the director asked me about teaching, Emma was not happy with me. I think she got jealous that the kids liked me, I was the “cool” teacher, my class was fun etc. I felt very blessed to be teaching a class the kids did NOT have to take. The kids that took my class were there because they wanted to be there. At first, it was only girls, but later on, I got a few boys, too. The very first time I had a young man sign up for my class, it was a young man who had a friend in one of my classes, and he often stopped by the class room. One day, he asked if he could sit in on a class with his friend, and I told him if he was going to do that, he was going to work, and I had him start a project. Later on, I teased him that he signed up for my class just because he didn’t want to take what else was offered that period, and he told me that no, he thought my class was fun. He ended up doing being a very good student and did some fine work.

I enjoyed being the “fun” teacher, and at the end of the semester, we had “Parent’s Night” where we displayed the kids’ work for all the parents to see. The director of the arts program was always pleased with the work my kids turned out, and I was very happy with my job. I worked there for 7 years, and I am sad to say that because of Emma, I will never work with children again. During the divorce and while I was working on going back to work, I wanted to volunteer with kids. I remembered how much Emma loved reading, and I always wanted to do something like tutor kids who needed help with reading. There’s just something magical about seeing a kid who discovers reading. I am sad to say, that due to the fact that my daughter has accused me of abuse, I will NEVER volunteer with children ever again.

One day, I came home and sat down to eat with Phill and Emma and was telling them something one of the kids had said about how much they liked my class, and Emma just looked at me and said, “Mom, they hate their own mothers too.”

Just a side note, when Emma first accused me of abuse , somehow, word got to the director of the arts program, and when we started back to classes in Jan. , the director took me aside to tell me she’d heard about Emma’s accusation. I’m just assuming that Sandra Brooks McCravy (who had taken her boys out of the arts program because she was unhappy there) had told a mutual acquaintance, probably our friend Rita Carlton who also worked at the arts program, and I’m assuming that Rita told the director.

The director of the arts program told me that because of Emma accusing me of child abuse, I would have to have someone else, another adult, in my class to supervise me. I guess to make sure I didn’t go postal and kill the kids in my class. It was Donna Benito who came in to “babysit” me that first week back. After that, I guess the director decided I didn’t need a sitter, and although it was embarrassing and humiliating, I got through it.

Anyway, back to Phill’s birthday party. Phill’s birthday is March 21st, but if I remember right, the part was on March 18, 2012. That would have been a Sunday. I guess the party could have been on March 17. That’s neither here nor there.

The party was a small gathering with Emma and Abbey Benito. John and Judy Hall were there, as well as Phill’s UPS partner Carl Lehmann and his wife, Connie, and one of Phill’s RC buddies, but I can’t remember his name.

Emma had gotten Phill an Angry Birds cake for his birthday, and I wasn’t surprised, as he was always into video games. It was cute.

It was March 14th, 2011, when Emma wanted to leave the family and go live in a group home, and everything went to pieces. Phill’s birthday for 2011 kind of go overlooked with all the Emma drama, but I wondered if Emma got Phill one of the gifts I’d planned on giving him. We’d been out in Jefferson, Ga., and saw some windsocks outside a local store. There was a really cute one of a red bi-plane, and I had planned on getting that for Phill because of his RC plane obsession, but with all the Emma drama, I never got back there.

Anyway, those are just some examples of Emma’s new life being the Alpha Female in charge of the house hold. I am out of time tonight dear readers, and will reread and edit when I have some time, but I was just trying to get some thoughts down.

Coming up next, I want to write about Emma’s first boyfriend and her move to Ohio!

As always, please contact me if you have any questions: losingemma@gmail.com

The Rewards of Being a Victim

Posted on August 26, 2014 by losingemma

The Rewards of Being a Victim

Before Phill took out the Temporary Protective Order, to have me removed from my home, we had to come up with places for Emma to stay. After all, she wanted to go live in a group home. My thought was that she needed to live in a group home and to see what it’s like for kids who didn’t have it as good as she did. Let her meet kids who really were abused or who came from bad situations. Emma’s life would look like the life of a princess compared to some of these kids. She had two parents who loved her and she was allowed to do almost anything she wanted (within reason). She never lacked for food, clothes, or a warm bed. Of course once, when Emma and I got into an argument over something she wanted (I can’t remember what it was now.) and she didn’t get her way, she got angry and screamed at me, “YOU HAD ME! YOU OWE ME!” At the time, I thought it was a pretty ugly thing to say, but we all say things we don’t mean in anger. Emma said a lot of ugly things over the years, but for some reason, this one stuck with me probably more than any other. It sort of haunted me, and it still does. I’m sad to say that I really felt like this was in insight into Emma’s world. Emma felt like we owed her.

When Emma stayed with friends and neighbors, she got treated like a beloved guest with dinners, plays, clothes, trips to the beauty shop, etc. After all, who wouldn’t want to do something nice for a poor abused child who was beaten and poisoned by her mother? Emma made out like a bandit. I will share about some of the people Emma stayed with, and how Emma took advantage. I’m sure I only know a few of the rewards Emma collected. There’s probably a lot more that I don’t know.

From what Phill told me, Emma mostly stayed with our neighbors, John and Judy Hall, but she also stayed with some other neighbors, Randall and Cora Andrews, and one of Phill’s RC plane buddies and his wife, Mike and Wendy Timms who lived not far from us in Hoschton, but now live in Dacula, Ga. Since Emma didn’t want to see me, I didn’t always know where she was. Phill just told me what he wanted to.

Judy worked part time for salon in Brasleton, and the one time I got to see Emma, sitting in the van, she’d had her hair done. Since about 9th grade, Emma frequently used a straight iron on her hair, and it was very straight, cut in layers and looked very pretty. Phill told me that Emma had wanted to get her hair cut, but I wouldn’t let her. Well, as you can see from this photo, that’s not true.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy at a taping of the Sean Hannity Show.

Judy was a petite lady, but because of some health problems, she put on some weight, and she gave Emma a bunch of clothes. Emma always was a clothes horse, so from what Phill told me, she was thrilled about that.

At first, the Hall’s were driving Emma to school, and I think Phill was paying them to at least cover gas money. Emma had a permit, but Phill did not want Emma to get her driver’s license until she was 18. Funny thing was, once he got rid of his wife, he let Emma go ahead and get her license so she could drive herself. From what some of the neighbors told me, she then totaled two cars and she may have gotten a ticket in New Jersey. She had failed the test for her permit the first time, so I’ve often wondered how she did on her driver’s test. With her dad being a truck driver, you’d think she would have had plenty of lessons, but I missed this milestone in my daughter’s life, so I really don’t know how she did on the driving test.

When John and Judy went out of town, Emma stayed with our neighbors, Cora and Randall Andrews who lived behind us, and across the street from Judy and John Hall. Randall worked with Phill at UPS and was the union steward until he fell on the job and if I remember right, damaged both rotator cuffs. Randall was a hard worker, and when he wasn’t at UPS, he did tractor work on the side. After winning a settlement with UPS, Randall became a truck driving instructor. Since his wife was a teacher, he liked to joke that they were both teachers. Cora stayed home with the kids when they were little and then went back to teaching P.E. and also went back to school to get her Ph.D. in P.E. She then became a coach at Jackson County Commprehensive High School.

Phill was a big help to Cora when she was working on her Ph.D. He helped her with computer work, and Cora even thanked him in her dissertation. Phill got a kick out of that she mentioned him, but didn’t even mention her husband in her acknowledgement.

Randall and Cora had two boys who Emma played with when she was little, but once the kids started school, they didn’t see much of each other. When the kids were little, we helped each other out, occasionally watching each other’s kids. Phill and I even kept the boys when Randall had a heart attack and was in the hospital.

When Emma started high school at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she never had anything nice to say about her former playmates. She claimed they always looked high or looked to be on something at school. Knowing how involved the boys were in school, and how involved their parents were, I didn’t believe this for a minute. I’m sure they boys weren’t perfect angels, but they both were very involved in sports and other school activities. Since Emma claimed she often saw them looking this way in the morning when she went to school, I suspected they might have been sleepy because it was early in the morning and with sports and homework, they were probably short on sleep. Emma went on and on about them and I remember at one point she tried to convince me that the younger son had a reputation for partying and using drugs. Both of these boys went on to college, and the younger son turned down an appointment to West Point to go to UGA and even got some scholarship money.

Emma also talked about Cora (Dr. Andrews) when she went to JCCHS. Emma had a coach named Coach Beaver for P.E. and Freshman Focus class. Coach Beaver, according to Emma, also moonlighted as a cop in Statham, Ga., and would tell the kids about all the drug problems in Statham.

According to Emma, Coach Beaver and Dr. Andrews had some sort of rivalray. Emma claimed that one time, in P.E. class, Dr. Andrews walked through the gym and told Emma to put some nets or something away when they were done. She said when they finished, she started putting the nets away and Coach Beaver yelled at Emma and asked her what she was doing. When she stated that Dr. Andrews had asked her to put the nets away, Emma said Coach Beaver told her to leave the nets where they were and if Dr. Andrews wanted the nets put away, she could do it herself. Did this really happen? I never asked neither Cora, nor Coach Beaver, but I’m guessing probably not, just like I’m guessing that Coach Beaver didn’t moonlight as a policeman.

Since I’m on the topic of Coach Beaver, I will mention a couple of other funny things Emma said about Coach Beaver. She claimed that Coach Beaver and her political science teacher (I can’t remember his name.) lived across the street from each other. This was during the 2008 election. Emma claimed that Coach Beaver was a conservative and her political science teacher was a liberal, so they both tried to out-do each other with signs in their yards for their particular candidate. Hmmm. I wonder what the odds are of these two teachers living across from each other and being political rivals ?

While staying with the Andrews, Emma went got to go see a play at her old high school under her favorite teacher, Bonnie Roberts, who was the drama teacher. (I will have another whole essay to write about Emma’s experience being in Drama at JCCHS, including confirmation from Ms. Roberts as to some of the lies Emma told about Drama.)

Emma also stayed at the home of Mike and Wendy Timms, one of Phill’s RC plane buddies. I might have met Mike at an RC event, but I’m not sure. Mike and Wendy have to daughter a few years younger than Emma, and one of them shares Emma’s name. They also had the fact that the girls were home schooled in common. I know the Timms family often went to the week-long RC event, SEFF, down in Americus, Ga. because Phill and Emma both talked about them being there.

Emma spent a weekend at the Timms’ home when they still lived in Hoschton. With the Timms family, Emma went out to eat Mexican food, and went to see a play that her latest crush, Johnathan McCravy, happened to have a role in. I think she also went to church that Sunday with the family. If I remember right, they went out for Mexican after church.

After I was removed from my home, Emma also spent some time with her friend Kayla Benifield Weaver, at the home of Kayla’s mom and stepdad, Sheree and Jeff Barwise, not far from home. Anytime Emma went to Kayla’s they ate out a lot because Emma claimed that Sheree didn’t cook, and I have a cute picture of a group of them going bowling.

This victim thing really paid off for Emma. She was treated like a guest everywhere she went (No chores!) and there were so many wonderful fringe benefits like meals out, plays, clothes, shopping, etc. It’s tough being a victim.

Coming up next…………………………………..The NEW Woman of the House! (OR, The Girl Who Would Be Me)

Temporary Protective Order, Last Page!

Posted on August 17, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story.Please contact me if you have any questions. e-mail: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma and Kayla Benified Weaver when Kayla's grandparents (the grandfather Emma claimed was a racist as well as a Nazi Sympathizer) took the girls to Medieval Times.

Emma and Kayla Benified Weaver when Kayla’s grandparents (the grandfather Emma claimed was a Nazi Sympathizer) took the girls to Medieval Times.

This is the last page of the Temporary Protective Order. I don’t really know how things are done, but since the notary, Karen M. Stroly, appears to be a paralegal for the office of Phill’s attorney, I’m assuming you document the TPO with a notary and then take it to the court house to file. Karen M. Stroly notarized the TPO on April 5th, a Tuesday, when I was still in North Carolina, and then Phill took it to the courthouse on April 7th when he told me he was taking Emma to the home of our friends Ann and Jack Verner in Chamblee, Ga., about 50 or so minutes away from our home in Hoschton.

Sort of a side note, I had asked Phill to pick me up a couple of pairs of jeans when he went to Costco or Sams, because he stopped at those stores at least once a week. I’d loss some weight from the stress of the whole situation, and my jeans were too big. Phill brought home 4 pairs of jeans, and I tried them all on. Usually, in a case like this, I’d pick what I like, or something wouldn’t fit, and I’d keep what I wanted. Well, all the jeans fit very well, but I felt like I only needed a couple of pairs, so I put two pair on the dining room table and told Phill he could return them when he went back. He kept telling me to keep them, but I felt like when things calmed down, I’d probably put the weight back on, so it seemed silly to me. I guess since Phill was planning on throwing me out of my home, the least he could do was buy me some jeans. (But I left the two pairs there when I left my home.)

I do want to write more about the TPO and about how Phill showed up WITH Emma when I was volunteering and asked another volunteer to send me out to talk to them. I have to admit, when I found out about the all the lies that Emma told about “Lacey” and how she wasn’t raped and had never attempted suicide, and how her mother was never dying of breast cancer, and how Emma never called 911 on a boy she never babysat, and how the girl down the street was not pregnant and did not have an abortion, and how she was never drug searched at her school, etc., etc., etc., I thought Phill would realize that there was a problem with Emma, and apologize to me and we would move on as a family and get Emma the help she needs. I was wrong.

There is another thing I want to mention, for some of you that may be new to the blog. (I have noticed quite an increase in readers according to my stats, and I have received a few private messages from readers.) I have offered to take down the blog and keep this whole matter between Emma, her dad, and myself. Emma chose to ignore my offer, and that’s fine. I will keep writing. I just want my darling daughter to know that if she is going to accuse me of child abuse and attempted murder, she’d better be willing to go to the mat on it. As long is Emma is lying about her mother, her mother is going to be writing about what really happened.

Coming up next, “The Rewards of Being a Victim.” I will share with you some stories about the people Emma took advantage of and stayed with because she couldn’t stay home with her abusive mother (even when her dad was there). Some of them have stories as interesting as my own. Then I want to share the story of Emma and her first boyfriend (whom she called her fiance) and I want to share with you the e-mails Emma wrote to “Lacey” as they are long and quite detailed and give quit an insight into Emma’s personality. Goodness, so much writing to do, and not enough time on my hands!

Thank you all for the love and support.

Temporary Protective Order Page 10

Posted on August 16, 2014 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, my daughter, Emma Roey, at the age of 16 made up a story about a friend being raped, claimed that this rape brought up memories of a priest molesting her when she was 12 years old, and then when her attorneys were about to file a lawsuit against the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse. Emma later claimed her mother had poisoned her with DDT. At this point in the blog, I am documenting the Temporary Protective Order my husband took out to have me removed from our home. If you want to read more about Emma’s story, go to the archives. A good place to start is with “Sending out a Letter” in July of 2012.)

On this page, Phill checks the box that he wants me to attend a batterers intervention program, but I wonder why he didn’t want me to attend a poisoners intervention program. After all, Emma claimed I was poisoning her with DDT! I think Emma was watching WAY too much Criminal Minds. (Still a great show although I don’t catch it often anymore.)

Temporary Protective Order Page 4

Posted on August 3, 2014 by losingemma

This page mentions that Phill gets to keep the mini van, which was the car he usually drove, and in fact was the car he was in when the TPO was served, so I could not have taken it anyway. I’m not sure what Phill was thinking by putting this in the TPO. I would have just taken my car anyway, but maybe he was trying to stop me from taking too much out of the house. The sheriff’s deputies pretty much let me pack a suit case and that was about it, so it’s not like I could have cleaned out the house. Or, Phill might have thought I would have taken the van for spite and he wouldn’t be able to haul all his RC planes around. His big RC event, SEFF (South Eastern Electric Flight Festival) was just a week or so away, so he really had to have the van to transport all his planes to Americus, Ga. for his week long trip. Believe me, as shocked as I was by what was happening, Phill’s SEFF trip would not have even entered my mind.

Temporary Protective Order (Preface)

Posted on July 12, 2014 by losingemma

*****UPDATED and EDITED AUG. 3, 2014******

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma was recently living at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, majoring in counseling, and talking about getting married to T., an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for over a year for that toxicology report! And the funny thing is that Emma’s dad knows she’s said this but refuses to address it.) Emma also claimed her future mother-in-law lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family, although I heard from this lady that she feared no such thing. While in Ohio, Emma began telling stories about T’s family, making herself the victim again, but since she didn’t have her mother to be the persecutor, Emma began saying hurtful things about T’s mother, sister, and grandparents. In Sept. of last year, T. broke up with Emma, deciding he had doubts about her. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Christmas 2006
Emma Roey

TPO

There are two dates that will live in infamy in my own little war. One is March 14, 2011, which I think of as Emma’s Emancipation Day, and the other is April 7, 2011, the day my loving husband took out a Temporary Protective Order against me, and two officers from the sheriff’s department showed up at my door and told me I had to leave my home. I am going to tell the story of these two dates and I will publish the TPO and go through it page by page. This will take a while, so bear with me.

March 14, 2011

After Emma pulled her little “abused child” stunt at Christmas to stop the law suit that her attorneys were about to file against the priest that Emma claimed molested her (as well as a suit against the church and the diocese), we were all about therapy. We were enmeshed in therapy. We were covered up in therapy. Therapy was our life. Last I heard, Emma was majoring in “counseling.” Ironic, isn’t it?

Just before Emma accused me of abuse, she’d stopped seeing Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment and Counseling http://www.mannatreatment.com and started seeing Suzie McGarvey at Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com (now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com ). I had taken Emma to meet a few counselors, and Suzie was the one she liked best. Suzie was originally from Ohio, Catholic, married to a financial planner, and had two little girls. Suzie even brought her two girls, along with their Labradoodle, to a “Pet Photos with Santa” fundraiser that Emma and I worked at for the rescue. I still have photos of the girls with Santa and their dog.

Because of DFACS involvement, we were also seeing some therapists that contracted with DFACS, the Social Empowerment Center http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com (Lori McCarthy, Rachelle D. Hutchinson, Emily Kirby, Candace Whitman and Tamesha —sorry, Tamesha, I can’t remember your last name.) Emma was also talking with her high school counselor, Heather Thompson at Jefferson High School http://www.jeffcityschools.org. We had PLENTY of therapy going on. Emma got LOTS of attention, and was talking to therapists at least three times a week. She didn’t really make any friends at school, but she had plenty of therapists to talk to.

If I remember right, Emma was seeing Suzie McGarvey once a week, and then we were also doing family therapy at least every other week. The weekend before Emma’s March 14th appointment, she had asked me if just she and daddy could go to therapy. At first I said fine, but then said no because we were working on therapy as a family, and we all needed to go.

On March 14, I had a doctor’s appointment, so Phill took Emma to therapy, and I headed to Lanier Counseling after my doctor’s appointment to join them. When I walked into the waiting room, Phill was there, and Emma was in the office with Suzie McGarvey for her private therapy session. Phill and I sat and talked for a bit, and we’d each brought something to read while we waited.

When it was time for family therapy, Suzie came out and asked Phill to come in, but wanted me to stay in the waiting room. Ok, fine. After a few minutes, Phill came out and I asked him what was going on. He said Emma wanted to say something to him, but she didn’t want him to tell me, and he told her that he wouldn’t agree to that. He took my hand and held it, and said he wasn’t going to keep any secrets from me.

Suzie McGarvey came out again and asked Phill to come back in to her office. He went, and I sat there and waited and waited and waited. I remember at 35 minutes past our appointment time thinking we would not have much time for our family appointment, and then finally Suzie McGarvey called me in.
I walked in and sat on the sofa. Emma was at one end, Phill was in the middle, and I sat next to him on the other end. To be honest, I was so shocked and stunned by what I heard next, I know my memories of the details are a little fuzzy.

Suzie, Emma’s counselor who’d told Phill and I that we were only the 2nd couple she felt she could trust with her own children, and who’d told me that she wanted to have all Emma’s therapists “circle the wagons” to sort of call Emma out on her B.S., told me that Emma wanted to live in a group home to get away from me, and we needed to separate. After that is where it gets fuzzy. I couldn’t belive what I was hearing. Emma was accusing me of abuse, claiming I would shove or shake her and then block it out. The whole story was so bizarre. Later, I said over and over that I felt like I’d been run over by a truck. I was completely blindsided by what Emma did and what was to come. I think I was in shock at the ridiculousness of it all for a long time.

Part of what shocked me was that I was also Suzie McGarvey’s client, and I felt very betrayed by her blindsiding me like this. After Emma had accused me of “physical abuse” just before Christmas, she spent a week at Peachford Hospital (a mental health facility, or mental hospital), and then she finally came home. We met with Suzie to discuss therapy, family therapy, Phill and I meeting privately with Suzie, and me meeting privately with Suzie. I’ve been told this is a conflict of interest, that Suzie should not have been my therapist and Emma’s therapist, but I don’t know. I did send a letter to the Georgia Board of Examiners of Psychologists and Therapists, but never got to speak to an actual person and got the standard letter back saying they weren’t going to do anything…

I was ready to let Emma live in a group home, but Phill wasn’t. I thought this child needed to see how other people lived and then maybe it would sink in that she had it pretty darned good! I don’t remember a lot of what else that was said. I was shocked and cried and asked Emma why she was doing this. Mostly , she would not look me in the eye, but at one point she said in such a cold, hateful tone, “Mother, I love you, but you have a problem.” Well, for Emma to call me “Mother” meant something right there. Emma NEVER called me mother unless she was being sarcastic. She called me “Mom” or “Mommy” or “Maise.” She did not call me “Mother.”

Sometime before this session, I met privately with Suzie McGarvey, and I remember telling her about one morning when I told Emma to hurry because we needed to leave for school, and she screamed at me, “I’M TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!” Well, Emma took control and made sure that no one was going to be telling her what to do anymore.

I didn’t know what to do. Here was our therapist telling me I could not live in my home with my daughter. Being Emma’s mom, her interests came first. I knew she had to go to school, so I said I would go stay with a friend for a few days while we got this straightened out. It was more important to me that Emma stay in the home so that she could go to school and continue with all the things she needed to do. Emma had missed a lot of school in 9th grade due to her vomiting issues (when I was supposedly poisoning her with DDT) and I knew we needed to keep her in school.

I went home and packed a suitcase and went to the home of my friend, Janice for a few days. Poor Janice. Emma stayed with her for a few days at Christmas when she was in DFACS custody, and now I was staying with her. Unfortunately, Emma acted horribly at Janice’s, and I felt bad that Janice was dragged into our family problems yet again, but she is a true friend and was there for me once again. I was pretty much a wreck the whole time I was there. I did a lot of crying. I was in total shock by what my child had done.

I don’t remember when I came home. It may have been on the weekend. I do remember that it was another friend’s birthday on March 16th, and Phill and I went to her home to take her a bottle of wine, but I don’t remember what day we went, and I don’t know where Emma was staying then. She ended up staying with neighbors like old friends Ann and Jack Verner, our neighbors John and Judy Hall (Phill did a lot of computer work for the Halls, erasing hard drives, when their daughter was going through a divorce. Their story is almost as interesting as mine, and I’ll share it after I get the TPO posted.) and Cora and Randall Andrews, and some RC friends of Phill’s, Mike and Wendy Timms.

Recently, my friend’s husband brought up that day Phill and I took the bottle of wine over for my friend’s birthday. Phill talked to them about how we needed to get Emma home and straighten her out. My friend’s husband brought up how he never understood how Phill was so supportive of me when we stopped by, and then a few days later he would turn against me.

Sometime, while I was staying with Janice, Phill completely changed his tone. I have no idea what Emma said or what Suzie McGarvey may have said, but all of a sudden, my husband and best friend of nearly 30 years decided I was a child abuser.

I came home from Janice’s, and Emma was staying at John and Judy Hall’s, and she was to be off the next week for Spring Break. Phill wanted me gone so Emma could be home with Emma. Emma and I had planned on visiting a friend in N.C. over Spring Break, so I decided to go alone, and that way we wouldn’t have to find places to for Emma to stay. Of course, at this point, I thought we were still going to work on things as a family, but Phill had already decided what he was going to do, and while I was in N.C. crying my heart out every day, Phill and Emma went to see a divorce attorney named Seth Eisenberg at Bovis, Kyle, and Birch LLC in Atlanta. I remember looking up the website at some point, and it advertised divorce for dads. I recently looked it up again, and it appears Mr. Eisenberg may not work for Bovis, Kyle, and Birch anymore. I didn’t see his name anyway.

(Mr. Eisenberg was the attorney who later told my attorney that he thought Emma was crazy, that she ran the show, and that Phill didn’t come see him without bringing Emma. My attorney also confided in me that Mr. Eisenberg told him that every time they came in, Emma brought up the subject of a restraining order, really wanting to get a restraining order against me. At some point, Mr. Eisenberg told my attorney that he would handle Phill’s divorce, but he wanted nothing to do with “that kid.”)
While I was in N.C., Phill and Emma were having plenty of quality daddy/daughter time and doing things like going out to eat (something Emma loved to do because I tried to cook fairly healthy) and on little adventures like to the Atlanta Aquarium. I was very disappointed when I found out they went without me as that had been something we talked about doing as a family. We had been, a few years before, to the TN Aquarium and had a wonderful visit there. I still haven’t been to the Atlanta Aquarium. Maybe that’s something I should plan on doing soon.
While I was in N.C., I decided I was not going to be run out of my home. I had been attending a Bible Study group with Emma at the church we had recently changed to, Holy Trinity Anglican Church http://www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org/ in Flowery Springs, Ga. I enjoyed the study and the group of ladies and decided I was not going to miss our Wed. night session on the count of my lying daughter. It was my home, and I belonged at home. If Emma had a problem living in our home, she could go somewhere else.
Phill was furious with me for ruining his week. He had taken vacation time to take the week off and be with Emma, just like he had taken his vacation time when Emma pulled her DFACS stunt at Christmas.
I don’t remember if I came home that Tues. or Wed., but I had wanted to be home Wednesday evening to go to church. As it ended up, our Bible study was canceled, so I didn’t go after all, but Phill was furious with me for coming home. I think Emma stayed with Judy and John Hall that night, but I don’t really remember. I was still in shock over what was going on, but I was determined to stand up for myself.
The next morning, Thursday, April 7th, 2011, after barely speaking to me for the past couple of weeks, Phill was all interested in what I was doing that day. I later figured he needed to know my schedule so he could have the Temporary Protective order served. He wanted to know exactly where I was going and how long I’d be gone and if I was coming home after that…
When Emma was vomiting frequently, I had thought of trying a Yoga class, thinking it might help Emma relax. We only had gone a few times, and I really enjoyed it, but Emma not so much. Emma was very critical of things that were not Christian, and as much as I hate to say it, she was pretty closed minded about a lot of things. “Namaste” did not sound Christian enough for her, and Emma was pretty judgmental about Yoga although she knew very little about it. I found that I really liked how I felt after a class after all the stretching and then the relaxing at the end of class. Emma was also very competitive, and although I was 50 and not in particularly good shape, I could do the poses and stretches better, and the teacher was frequently helping or correcting Emma. When Emma got home from the psych hospital and started back to school, I continued to go to Yoga about once a week without her. Had she wanted to stick with it, I’d have made an effort to take her to an evening class, but she was not interested.
That Thursday, I decided to go to Yoga. Phill asked what time the class was and if I was coming home after that. It turned out that he took Emma to the court house with him to take out the TPO and then drove Emma to Chamblee, Ga, to the home of some old friends, Ann and Jack Verner. I had been friends with Ann’s daughter, Kathy, since high school, and she was Emma’s Godmother, but we’d lost touch over the past few years after Kathy left her husband who told Phill and I that Kathy had been having some affairs. Emma really couldn’t stand to have anything to do with Kathy, and when Kathy was living with her girl/boyfriend Andrea/Jason (It gets very confusing, but Andrea was going through a sex change to become Jason.) Kathy had a little birthday party/open house at their new home. Emma absolutely refused to go, and Phill was working, so since it was on the way, I dropped Emma off at Sandra Brooks McCravy’s house in Lawrenceville, Ga. on my way to Kathy’s. Sandi said Emma could stay with her while I went to Kathy’s. I stayed for a short visit at Kathy’s new home, and then went back to pick up Emma. Emma would not have anything to do with Kathy and refused to accept Kathy as a friend on her facebook up until she pulled the abused child act and then all of a sudden, Kathy was fine to have as a friend again.
Emma once again got to play the victim and was treated as the house guest at the Verner’s home. I don’t remember what all they did, but even with the trauma of being an abused child, Emma put pictures on her facebook of her visit. I have a cute one of her and one of Ann and Jack’s granddaughters

Just to Clarify

Posted on June 8, 2014 by losingemma

Back to the blog shortly, but first a shout out to my old neighbor, Judy Hall, who brought up something I should address. Since this is my blog, I can write about whatever and whomever I want. I don’t need anyone’s permission. I’ve already been advised by my attorney about this, so I will continue telling MY story. I will be sharing stories that Emma told me or others. I will also be sharing stories Phill told me about friends and neighbors involved with Emma. Of course, there are people I don’t want to see hurt such as the girl Emma claimed was raped and attempted suicide, so those names will appear in quotations. Any lies that Emma told to someone else that I mention on the blog are documented for me by the people who told them to me.
Thanks, Judy for bringing it up. And of course, when I get to your part of the story, I’ll be happy to verify it with you, if you want, to make sure I have all the details correct.

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend, Tyler Buchheim’s family in Ohio, Tyler’s mother, Sherry Knopp
Buchheim, was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted Sherry Knopp Buchheim, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Tyler Buchheim eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
Emma has accused me of a crime (or two!). I do not take this lightly. At this point, Emma has two choices. She can bring charges against me or apologize. Well, I guess three choices. She can continue to lie about me, and I will continue to write about this journey I am on.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma and ROTC

Posted on June 1, 2014 by losingemma

Emma took ROTC at JCCHS in 9th grade and hated it.

Recently, I’ve heard from four people who shared some Emma stories with me. I’ve been thinking a lot about Emma’s problem with lying. I’m not sure I really understand lying. Why does Emma lie? Is it a mental illness? Is it a need for drama? I don’t get it. Fiction is one thing, and it’s a shame Emma didn’t use her gift of lying and turn it in to writing her stories instead of hurting other people with them.

In Fall of 2008, when Emma started 9th grade at Jackson County Comprehensive High School (JCCHS), Emma signed up for two electives. One was Drama, which she loved, and she even got the lead in the school play, and another was ROTC. I couldn’t believe Emma signed up for ROTC. My child? It just did not seem like something she would be interested in.
Emma explained to me that there were only two electives to sign up for that period, so it was either dance or ROTC, “And I SUCK at dance!” Ok, I got her point.

You can see from the picture that Emma made a cute little soldier, although she hated ROTC. She did not speak kindly of the other kids in ROTC overall. She claimed a neighbor’s son, who lived around the block from us, became her platoon leader and was abusive. She claimed one of her ROTC classmates was pregnant and had a baby that semester. I discovered that students are not allowed in ROTC if they are pregnant, and one student told me they are not allowed to rejoin if they do have a baby. (Emma also claimed that there were 9 or 10 pregant 9th graders, and this was not true.)
One story Emma told was rather humorous about a young lady who lived next door to us with her mom and stepdad. Kristen C. was in Emma’s ROTC class. Emma claimed that her platoon leader had stalked our neighbor girl, standing out on our street, near their mailbox, staring at the house, waiting for Kristen to appear. This seemed a little odd as you couldn’t even see their house from the road, so I’m not sure what the point would be in standing out by the street, but who am I to question what a lovesick teenager would do? I was in and out several times a day and never noticed this boy at our neighbors’ mailbox, but I could have missed him.
Emma told me a story about how when they had to do an oral presentation in class, Kristen got nervous like she always did, and ran to the bathroom to throw up. According to Emma, Kristen did this every time she had to do some sort of report or presentation in front of the class. Having known people that threw up in the same situation, I felt bad for Kristen and just assumed it was something she’d grow out of.
On this particular occasion, Kristen took so long to come back to class that the ROTC instructor sent Emma to check on her in the bathroom. Emma said she went in and Kristen was vomiting away, and looked up and said,”I don’t know why I do this?” laughed and then wretched again. Cute story. Did it happen? One of Emma’s classmates told me that she never knew of Kristen throwing up in class. She said Kristen was a good speaker and became a platoon leader.
So, what is the point of this story? Does it have to do with the whole Drama triangle thing? Emma is making herself the rescuer in this situation, going to check on an ailing classmate. Was it to make her feel special that the teacher singled HER out to go check on Kristen? Was it to portray Kristen as weak? I just don’t understand lying. Maybe Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.), Suzie McGarvey (North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Suwanee, Ga.) or Dr. Richard Born (Applied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.) can explain it to me since they are the professionals in this area. Does Emma believe her own lies or does she just lie to have something to say. Emma could look right at you and deny doing something you just saw her do with your very own eyes. Then she could make up something like, “no, I didn’t do that, I was actually doing this……..” and I remember thinking that Emma lied as easily as she breathed. Of course, at the time, I just thought this was being a kid and never dreamed this was a problem.

Time, Space, and Clarity

Posted on May 20, 2014 by losingemma

May 20, 2014

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Emma’s boyfriend/fiance eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
Emma has accused me of a crime (or two!). I do not take this lightly. At this point, Emma has two choices. She can bring charges against me or apologize. Well, I guess three choices. She can continue to lie about me, and I will continue to write about this journey I am on.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com
This picture is just after Emma got her braces off. See that beautiful smile! I had taken Emma to a basic sewing class, and she started sewing. She made this blouse, and I just happened to have made a necklace some years before that went with it perfectly. Oh, and like every other teen out there, you did notice the cell phone in her pocket didn’t you?

I will get back to writing about our experiences with therapy, but this is what was on my mind today.

Time, Space, and Clarity

Sometime after Emma accused me of abuse, my attorney and I contacted the parents of the girl (On line friend) that Emma claimed was raped and had attempted suicide. (Emma claimed this young woman’s rape brought up her own memories of being sexually molested by a priest.) I had a couple of conversations with the mother of “Lacey” and found out that none of it happened as well as many other things Emma had told me about “Lacey’s” family. There was NO RAPE. There was NO Suicide attempt. Lacey did not call Emma, hysterical, from the ER after attempting suicide. While Lacey’s mom had battled breast cancer, she was never in the hospital, close to death as Emma had claimed. In fact, she was never in the hospital at all from the cancer. She was treated as an outpatient. It was all a big fat lie, so I’m just assuming Emma’s “repressed memories” are a big fat lie as well.

I asked “Lacey’s” mother for any e-mails Emma had sent to Lacey, and she turned them over to my attorney and me. At the time, I was still in shock and devastated by what Emma had done, and I just sort of skimmed over these letters. My attorney read through them and mentioned to me how much Emma talked about control, being in control, wanting to be in control…

Looking through the letters was very painful to me then. There were funny stories about Emma’s church youth group, which made me miss my daughter, and there were a lot of disturbing stories. I picked out a few outright lies, and put the letters away. It was too painful to look at them in 2011.

The other day, I got out these letters again. As I mentioned earlier, these letters are probably the reason Emma was failing her physics class that year. She told her teacher she was failing because she was dealing with being molested, but when I look at the pages and pages of letters that Emma wrote to “Lacey” and she mentions computer chatting with her as well, and I know she was also hand writing letters and texting “Lacey” so I don’t think there was much school work getting done when Emma was sitting for hours in front of her computer.

Someone recently shared the following from John Rosemond. I’ve just attached part of his column, but you can read it in it’s entirety on his site. Someone had written in about a difficult 13 year old daughter, and I am attaching part of his response.

John Rosemond
Rosemond.com

(SNIP) Allow me to speculate as to what is going on here. All too many of today’s young teen girls seem to feel that a life that’s devoid of drama has no meaning, no significance. In the absence of truly valid drama (which very few of them have claim to), they invent drama.

In these invented soap operas, they play the role of victim. The list of anta¬gonists includes certain peers (rivals, ex-boyfriends), teachers, administrators, various emotional issues that supposedly beset them, and, of course, their parents. The invariable theme: My life would be wonderful, as it should be, if it weren’t for (fill in the blank with the imagined victimizers).

How does it feel to have loved a child unconditionally and taken excellent care of her for 13 years only to have her turn you into a villain? Ungratefulness is the price many parents are paying for having made sure their children lacked for nothing. The most generous hand is the one most likely to be bitten.

Obviously, there is no real problem here. Your daughter simply has too much time on her hands. With this excess of time, she thinks about herself and conjures up reasons why her misery at being your daughter is justified. It never crosses her mind that she has never had to want for food, clothing, medical care, heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, free vacations and so on. (SNIP)

Wow. Does this article describe Emma, or what? I’ve also found that I am not alone in this club of hated parents. There are many members and many, many stories. I’ve also found there are many of us, falsely accused of abuse by our own children.
Emma was always the victim when she was part of a group. The girls Emma rode to high school with on the bus were mean to her. If she was on a team, there was someone that didn’t like her. If she was in Sunday school, she complained about the teacher being a liberal and not letting Emma share her conservative thinking. If she had a problem with a class, it was because the teacher didn’t like her. If she didn’t get a part in the play it was because the drama teacher (Jefferson High School, Mr. Bright) had his favorites. If Emma and I had an argument, when Phill got home, she would completely twist something I said into something that didn’t even resemble what I’d said. (And having a high very IQ, she was definitely good at it. I don’t know what my IQ is, and I don’t want to!)

I thought Emma liked being homeschooled because it gave her time for other activities, but like this article says, I think Emma had too much time on her hands. Phill and I always joked how we liked our boring lives. We’d seen Phill’s brother go through some pretty tumultuous times with his wives, and we were always grateful that that wasn’t us. We liked being dull. I had no idea what was going on in Emma’s head. I guess her life needed meaning. She needed drama!

“The most generous hand is the one most likely to be bitten.” Boy, does that strike a chord with me! It’s not like the case of “Affluenza” in Texas, but I think there are similarities. Phill and I were middle class. Since I stayed home with Emma, we were careful with our money, but Emma never lacked for anything. We all know what mom’s do around the house, and in addition to that, I homeschooled Emma for 5 years. Pretty much any activity that Emma wanted to try, we did: piano, church choir, Gwinnett Young Singers, water color lessons, church camp, dance class, art classes, nature camp, knitting group, library reading clubs, karate, softball, kayacking, spelling bees, drama classes, church youth group, church activities, baby sitting, Red Cross First Aide class, ROTC ……..and the list goes on and on. I don’t know how working moms do it. I did so much driving to get Emma to all her activities, that I can’t imagine working and being able to do that. Then there’s things like the orthodontist, and as much complaining as Emma did about that, I probably thought to myself 1000 times that her teeth weren’ t that bad and I wished we hadn’t bothered with the time and expense, but I will say, she had a beautiful smile when she got the braces off. I never understood all the complaining. I know kids complain, and I’m sure I did my share as a kid, but I remember being really proud of my “tinsel teeth.” (And Emma didn’t even have to wear the dorky head gear apparatus that a lot of us did!)
And what about all those nights we parents stay up with our kids helping them finish a project? One time when Emma was going to Happening, a church teen retreat, she wanted to make a gift for all the other kids. I don’t remember how many kids there were, I think a little under 200. Emma had this idea to make bookmarks, so Phill printed out what she wanted on the computer with about 5 book marks to a sheet. Emma painted each sheet with watercolors and sort of a rainbow affect. Then, the bookmarks had to all be cut out and laminated and then the laminate had to be trimmed on each bookmark. Guess who stayed late cutting bookmarks. Like the typical kid, Emma was rushing around at the last minute, and would not have finished if I hadn’t spent hours cutting bookmarks for her.

While going through these letters again, I found many, many lies and many examples of Emma’s “poor me” syndrome. She often mentions being depressed and states it could be her medicine making her depressed, but this was drama as well because Emma wasn’t on any medicine at that time.

Emma made up a lot of stories that were fairly harmless but made good stories. For example, she claimed a found a friend passed out after seeing a spider. She told funny stories about some of the younger kids at church, and there was a cute one about her friend Jordan”s little brother told Emma that Jordan had gotten into Emma’s purse. Emma said Jordan was trying to send a text message to the boy that Emma liked with Emma’s phone, and how Emma caught on when the voice recorder came on asked if she wanted to send the message to “Edward.” Cute story. Did it happen?

When our neighbors lost their teenage son, Emma wrote about going to her “friend’s” funeral even though she’d never said more than hello to this boy. She also wrote a sweet story to “Lacey” about babysitting a neighbor’s little boys the day after the funeral, and how the children were told that “Oliver” went to sleep and woke up with Jesus. Emma claimed that one of the boys pretended to be asleep and said he wanted to wake up with “Oliver.” It was a sweet story, but Emma never babysat these children, just like (in an earlier post) she never babysat our priest’s children and never had to lock herself in the bathroom and call 911 because the priest’s bipolar son was acting up.

Emma talks about the girls she rode the school bus with buying and using drugs on the bus. I verified with one of the girls that that she never saw drugs being sold on the bus.

Emma mentions the time our inflated pool collapsed while she and Kayla Benifield were in it, and tells about Kayla hitting her head on a tree. Nope, that didn’t happen either. I have pictures of the two girls in the pool as the water drained out of it.

Emma talks about a woman she didn’t like monopolizing the conversation at our church book club, and the only thing is, this woman never came to the book club.

Emma mentioned to “Lacey” that she was making brownies for church and would be murdered if the broke the heirloom platter that she’d put the brownies on, only Phill and I didn’t have any heirlooms.

One day, when I have more time, I will go through each of these letters and tell you exactly what is in them. I can’t really publish the letters, since they are Emma’s, but I can read them and write about them.

Losing Emma

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