Tag Archives: Petaluma California

Happy 2nd Anniversary Emma and Tyler

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Emma and Tyler!

EmmaTylerWedding

Happy 2nd anniversary to my lovely daughter Emma Katherine Buchheim and my wonderful son-in-law, Tyler Albert Buchheim. Being the middle of the week, I hope you get to do something fun, either going out to dinner or celebrating on the weekend! I’m sure Emma will have some kind of celebration planned.

As you know Emma, your dad and I kept anniversaries pretty low key. Going to Tybee on our 23rd while you were at church camp was the biggest thing we did. I wanted to do something on our 25th, but we didn’t have anywhere for you to go, so that didn’t happen, and I was looking forward to our 30th, but that wasn’t meant to be.

You will have to ask Daddy about our 2nd anniversary though. That was probably our most interesting anniversary. Back in 1986, I was working as a receptionist for a veterinarian, and worked with an assistant named Gail. Remember how you always made fun of Sandra Brooks McCravy for how much she called me and poured out her problems to me? Well, Gail was a lot like that, but she didn’t cry near as much as your Aunt Sandi. We were friends, and Daddy and I had her over to dinner and such, but I didn’t think of Gail as a really close friend. I liked her ok, but she was way too needy. She suffered from some mental issues and saw a therapist and a social worker on a regular basis. I don’t remember her being on any medication. Daddy used to joke about her having to pay people to listen to her, but we were very young and didn’t know much about mental illness. Gail had had an unhappy childhood and always seemed kind of depressed. I remember her telling me about her mother confiding in her that her dad was having an affair when she was maybe middle school aged, and she didn’t know how to handle that information. I think she liked being around Daddy and me because we were stable and happy. She was another person who called us “soulmates” and when I joked once about how you never know what will happen, about Daddy and I being together or not in 30 years or something like that, I remember her saying, “Oh, you and Phill will be together forever. You’re soulmates.” I’ve never forgotten that conversation, although I can’t remember what we were initially talking about.

Anyway, back before cell phones, when Daddy was working for UPS and driving one of the package cars, his route was in Sandy Springs, Ga, north of Atlanta. The UPS Center that Daddy worked out of was in Doraville, Ga, and we lived in Doraville at the time. Daddy would call me from somewhere on his route to let me know about when he’d be home so I could plan dinner.

I could work with Gail all day, and she would still call me when I got home from work. She would always ask if Daddy had called because she knew I would not stay on the phone if I hadn’t heard from him, and if he had, she would want to talk to me. I didn’t mind too much because we didn’t really talk much at work except when we occasionally went out to lunch together, but a lot of times I just stayed on the phone because I was too nice and didn’t know how to politely say I had other things to do. This was also before cordless phones, so you couldn’t move around while you talked on the phone either! In this day of talking, texting, and instant communication, I’m sure you have a hard time imagining what it was like for us back then, but we survived.

June 30th, 1986, Daddy and I were going to go out for our 2nd anniversary to Steak and Ale for a prime rib dinner. There was one I the Chamblee/Dunwoody area, and I don’t know if it is even still there. We didn’t go out to nice restaurants very often, so this was a treat. I remember I was dressed in a print skirt and matching top of little pastel flowers, and wearing the little opal necklace Daddy had given me for our anniversary. I always loved opals and had wished I was born in October, so they could be my birthstone, but nooooooooooooo, I had to get that ol’ yellow topaz and the alternate stone is the citrine, with is pretty much the same color. (Back then, you didn’t see a lot of the blue topaz like you do now.)

We were getting ready to go when Gail called, and I don’t even remember why she called, just that she was depressed. She must have talked about harming herself and we ended up going over to her apartment, which wasn’t far from where we lived. It’s been so long, I don’t remember all the details, but Daddy might. We ended up taking Gail to Northside Hospital, and then taking her home again. We were going to leave her when she got upset and got a steak knife and took it into the bedroom with her. Then, after more phone calls, we took her too a mental hosptial in Smyrna, Ga, and I think it is now called Ridgeview, but I can’t remember if that’s what it was called back then.  It was a lot like Charter Peachford, where you went.  Well, with all the driving and waiting at the hospitals, we didn’t get home and to bed until about 4am, and we both had to work the next day. I remember being so sleepy and just fighting to stay awake at work. It was horrible.

After all that, I think Gail owed us a steak dinner, but she was kind of in her own world and it didn’t occur to her that she had ruined our evening. I think she had a hard time seeing past her own problems.

Daddy and I did finally go out for our prime rib dinner to Steak and Ale, but it was on July 4th. We enjoyed a good meal and then had a romantic night at home. (I guess now that you’re a married lady, it’s ok for you to know that your parents had s-e-x! Big An used to say that every generation thinks they invented sex. I know you can’t imagine your mom and dad or Sherry and Bob loved/love each other like you and Tyler do.)

So, Happy Anniversary Emma and Tyler. I would have sent a card, but I didn’t want to cause Emma any PTSD or anything. I hope your 2nd anniversary is a lot less eventful than ours was!

Lots of love,

Mom/Maze

Death of A Marriage, Part 2

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Death of a Marriage (Part 2)

26 Years, 9 months, 14 days.

My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

I have thought that maybe Phill and I could have survived Emma’s problems or his midlife crisis, but it appears we couldn’t survive both at the same time.

For nearly 27 years, Phill told me almost daily how happy he was being married, being married to me, how much he loved me, etc. Yes, it sounds corny, but he did. I felt the same way. I guess in some ways, even with all the hell Phill put me through, letting Emma divide us when we should have been united and dealing with her issues together, in some ways I was luckier than a lot of people. For almost 27 years, I had a very happy marriage, happier than most, I think. I loved my husband more and more because I thought after 27 years I knew what kind of man he had proven to be. Ok, I was wrong, but I still loved him. We had disagreements, but probably only had heated arguments a handful of times in nearly 27 years. We got along well and loved each other, and we had a lot of fun, just being together. Phill could always make me laugh, and that was one of the things I loved about him. He couldn’t tell a joke to safe his life. He could never get the punchline right, or he would leave out some key element of the story, but Phill was very funny in other ways. He’s quick witted and good at puns. He also does a great Bob Dylan impersonation, but he is usually too self-conscious to do it for anyone but me.

I’ve wondered about this; do I say I was married 26 years? Or do I say I was married 27 years. The divorce was final just before our 28th anniversary, so I guess I could say 27 years, but Phill had the sheriff’s department come and throw me out of our home about 2 1/2 months before our 27th anniversary, so that would make it 26 years. I don’t know how other people count the years of their failed marriages. Do you count the time you were together or the total time up until the divorce is final?

Well, just to keep it simple, I will say 26 years. How do you describe 26 years of a failed marriage? I’m not sure. We were happy. We were very happy. Phill told me everyday that he loved me, and especially in the later years talked about the times we would have together when we were retired, after Emma was on her own. We looked forward to being together without everything being centered around Emma. We’d talked about working on our yard, taking a Master Garder’s course, getting a camper or RV and traveling when Phill retired. I was really looking forward to having some time with my husband again. We figured we’d get down to having just one dog, but Phill said I could still foster one and we could take it on the road with us, advertising that it was for adoption. I figured I’d have to go back to work for a few years when Emma started college, to help pay for it, but Emma managed just fine from what I heard, even getting a scholarship to Piedmont College in Demorest, Ga. (Wouldn’t you love to read her college application essay? I’m sure it must have been all about overcoming being an abused child.) I guess Emma gave up her scholarship when she moved to Ohio to live with Tyler’s family.

I guess that one mistake in our marriage after we had Emma was that everything was about Emma. We lived our lives around Emma. We didn’t have date nights, and in Emma’s 17 years, the only time we took a trip alone was when Emma went to church camp at Camp Mikell, and the week she went happened to fall on our 23rd anniversary. Phill and I slipped off to Tybee Island, Ga for a few days alone and had a wonderful time! We were like excited kids who got to sneak out without the parents. We so enjoyed a few days being alone. As much as we loved Emma, we rarely got some time without her. This was true especially for me since I was the one that homeschooled her.

Something that happened that was kind of funny, on out last day at Tybee, we were packing up the car and then drove to Toccoa, Ga. For the camp performance and to pick up Emma, and we saw this couple in the parking lot of the condo where we stayed, also packing up. Then we saw the same couple at Camp Mikell. We stopped to talk to them, and they’d done the same thing—taken advantage of the kids going to camp to have some alone time!

*********************************************************************

As a young wife, I was very insecure about a lot of things. I was introverted and shy, and I remember thinking how awful it would be if your husband cheated on you. Funny. I had no idea how awful my husband could make my life. A little affair sounds kind of minor in the grand scheme of what I went through.

After years of marriage, I finally felt secure in my marriage. I trusted Phill and felt we were a team and we could get through almost anything together. Up until Phill started flying RC planes, we were never one of those couples who went separate ways on the weekend. We did almost everything together. Up until Phill started flying RC planes, he was pretty introverted just like I was, and we were homebodies. What little socializing we did was with people that I knew, as Phill didn’t really seem to make friends much up until he found his niche with the RC group. All of a sudden he was a big fish in a small pond.

If you read Death of a Marriage, I ended that post saying that Phill didn’t want the divorce, Emma did.

Emma was the one, going with Phill to meet with the attorney. Emma was the one who wanted the divorce from her mother, not Phill. Phill just didn’t know what to do, so he let Emma take over. Even his own attorney admitted this.

While going through the divorce, Emma was on face book bragging about doing the grocery shopping and doing household chores. All of a sudden, she was the woman of the house. She didn’t have any competition for her dad’s attention, and she could play up the sexually abuse and whatever else she made up. I have no doubt she did a lot of research on the internet so she could act out being a victim.

It was during this time that Phill’s midlife crisis hit head on. He had Emma at home, taking care of things there, so he could go off to RC events for a weekend, and not worry about who was taking care of the pets. He was also hanging out with some of his RC buddies who were teaching him how to brew beer. Phill had been interested in setting up a brewery at home, and he would go hang out with his RC buddies, drink beer and talk toy airplnes. It’s kind of funny because Emma was telling Tyler’s family that she wasn’t safe at home while her dad was on the road, but Phill had no trouble leaving Emma to go off for weekends. It was such a shock to me that Phill threw me out of our home on April 7, 2011, but had no trouble going off for a week to SEFF (Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Americus, Ga.) This was such a shock to me, how could Phill take off to fly toy airplanes when his family was falling apart? I don’t know where Emma was when Phill went to SEFF. I’m assuming she stayed with Judy and John Hall because Judy had been driving her to and from school until Phill took her to get her license. Phill had take out the TPO against me, so I’d lost my job of taking Emma to school. The school frowns on child abusers acting as chauffeurs for their abused children.

SEFF2011a

Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, SEFF, 2011

Emma had ruined Phill’s trip to SEFF the year before, so I guess that was why he was so determined to go. I was supposed to go with him, after I finished with the end of year program where I was working. I was supposed to drive down for the weekend, for the end of SEFF, before Phill came home, but Phill rescinded that invitation after he had me removed from our home.

(In 2010, SEFF occurred just after Emma had confessed to us that she had repressed memories of being sexually abused by the priest. She was supposed to go with Phill to SEFF and work as Jeff Meyer’s assistant, and Phill and I thought it would be good for her to get away from home and go. Once down there, Emma called me often. She hid out in the tent she and Phill had, and didn’t do what she was supposed to be doing as Jeff Meyer’s assistant. She was super paranoid that the priest was going to show up and find her for ratting him out. I consoled her over the phone several times, explaining there was no way the priest would know she was down in Americus Georgia for SEFF. He was not going to track her down and show up there. Also, the police were investigating him at that point, so he would have been pretty stupid to go anywhere near Emma.)

Even after Phill threw me out of our home, he tried to hug me, kiss me, hold me and told me he loved me. I was so devastated by what he did, I didn’t understand how he could act so affectionate when he threw me out of our home, and I wanted none of it.

If you know Phill, he is an easy-going guy, to the point of being passive. He just goes along with whatever everyone else is doing, so he let Emma take over the divorce. He wasn’t the one who wanted it, he still loved me, but after Emma took over, and Phill was deep into his midlife crisis, Phill was having too much fun to be married, traveling around the country flying RC planes, later getting a camper, etc. The single life was fun after nearly 27 years of the ball and chain, and there was too much water under the bridge for Phill to go back.

Meanwhile, while my husband was having his 2nd childhood, I was investigating many of the lies Emma had told us the past few years, which was pretty near everything that came out of Emma’s mouth. A friend of mine, who was also a victim of Emma’s lies, put it quite simply:

Emma lied pretty much about everyone and everything.

She lied about the priest and being molested.

She lied about Phill, but you wouldn’t have it, so she started lying about you.

Phill was too weak to stand up to Emma, so she got her way.

The End.

That sums it up pretty well.

Of course, believing in my husband, I thought he would come to his senses once I uncovered so many of Emma’s lies, but Phill, being somewhat passive and non-confrontational, couldn’t deal with the truth, so he let Emma continue her lies. That’s my biggest disappointment in this whole thing. I know Emma is a hot mess. She was lying about so many things that I’m not sure she knows how to tell the truth, but Phill……………… I thought my husband was a better man. I always thought he would do the right thing. I always thought he would fight for his wife and for his family. I was wrong. It made Phill too uncomfortable to face the truth, so he just let Emma keep going. Add to that the fun of being single, traveling the country flying toy airplanes and drinking beer, and what more could a fellow want?

I don’t know enough about Emma’s issues to know if we could have helped her. If we’d gotten her some real therapy to face her lying issues, could we have helped her? I don’t know, and it’s probably too late now. Tyler will have to be the man that Emma’s dad wasn’t able to be.

Overall, Phill loved being married. When I would go away from home which wasn’t often, but when I did, the longer I was away, the harder it was to get off the phone with Phill. I would call him everyday, and we would talk, but the longer I was gone, the more he would talk and not let me hang up. It was very sweet and cute and only mildly annoying when I really had to get going because we were going out or something. Phill didn’t like being alone, and I knew, even with his talk about being “soulmates” that I would be easily replaced. Phill is easy-going and if you can hold a conversation, cook for him, and sleep with him, that would be pretty much all he requires. He is pretty easy to please. I had no doubt that Phill would re-marry. He doesn’t like being alone, and he’s really not picky, so if he’s not re-married already, he will be, and I’ll write down a few words of advice for Kim Chassion and Sydney Chassion at some point.

I knew Phill was a lot smarter than me, and would come out ahead in the divorce. Having recently bought a home, I had very little when I moved in, and Phill rented a storage unit and threw my things in there, in his passive aggressive way, and I went over and got a few things, and then had enough and quit. It is just some personal items, mostly books and diaries, things like that. After all, Phill has to make room for Kim Chassion’s things in my home.

Phill wouldn’t let me have anything I could actually use like furniture, dishes, linens, cookware… I’ve been buying used furniture for my home, and slowly acquiring things. I have to laugh when I think of all the little things I need like a garden hose, a rolling pin, baking sheets, etc. You don’t realize how many little things you have until you have no access to them. Phill won at the divorce, no doubt about that, but that’s ok. I’ve started over, and I’ll keep working on it. Phill may have all our things, and I hope Kim enjoys the desk he got me for my birthday, and my office chair, and that they enjoy wine out of the wine glasses Emma and Phill got me for my birthday one year, oh and that lamp on the nightstand on Kim’s side of the bed, that was a birthday gift one year, too. And when they walk out in the back yard and smell the wonderful gardenia bush and the roses out back, those were mother’s day gifts. And the little circle of bricks, down below the deck. That’s where three of my very special dogs were buried, so please take care of that place and keep flowers growing in there.

So, Emma, on April 14th 2011, when we went to see Suzie McGarvey for your therapy session and then for our family session was when you convinced Suzie McGarvey that you had to be separated from your mom. (Horrors! You were so abused!) Daddy and I had been married 26 years, 9 months, and 14 days. This was when Daddy really turned against me, even thought he didn’t throw me out until April 7th. That means if you and Tyler can stay married until June 29th, 2042, you will have outlasted your parent’s marriage. That would really be sticking it to your mom, wouldn’t it? Good luck with that! If you want to count up to April 7th, that makes it 26 years, 10 months, and 8 days, so you can do the math on that one. Ohmigoodness, Tyler, I’m so sorry you got dragged into this family, but I did try to warn you.

So, from a lying, manipulative 17 year old, to a husband in his 2nd childhood, my marriage didn’t stand a chance. My husband was too weak to stand up to his daughter, and when you let a 17 year old take over the family, well, it’s not a good thing.

 

The Husband–The Gift That Keeps on Giving

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

The Husband—The Gift That Keeps on Giving

My last couple of posts were about Moving Madness and how I missed some personal items that I never got after Phill threw me out of our home. Of course, having just bought a home, I miss a LOT of the practical items that I could use such as furniture and such too, but wouldn’t you know, after writing, I received an e-mail from Phill:

I really don’t want to throw out your personal belongings, although in five+ years you’ve never attempted to get them.

I’ve rented a small storage unit at Jackson Self Storage, 489 Zion Church Rd, Braselton, GA 30517. I’ve moved all your personal belongings into it and will mail you a key tomorrow. There are somewhere between 15 and twenty boxes. I put all the heavy ones as low as possible. Take what you want, and when the lease expires at the end of June I’ll dispose of the rest. That gives you a full month to go through everything.

 Unit……………………….

Phill

Storage101

26 years of marraige, and I’m only allowed my personal items such as clothes, books, etc. according to my wonderful husband.  And let’s not make it easy to go through.  Just cram it all in there.

So, if you’ve read the blog over the past several years, you know that I have told Phill multiple times to go ahead and get rid of my things, do whatever he wants with them, I didn’t care. Yes, there were some things I wanted, but it just wasn’t that important to me. It wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t coming to get my stuff. I was living in a very small furnished house and didn’t have room for anything. It’s ok, honey. Just get rid of it. Do whatever makes you happy.

Are you wondering if Phill has a guilty conscience? He threw me out of our home April 7, 2011, and has held on to my things for 6 years now? Even after I told him he could get rid of my things, and even after having his esteemed attorney, Bradley D. Moody of Lee Sexton and Associates P.C., graduate of Atlanta’s John Marshall Law School, son-in-law of Matt Klos, husband of Jessie Klos Moody, father to cute little little Ella Moody, who signs his letters with his Bar#655693, send me a letter about having a third party pick up my things (because Phill is too much of a coward to face his wife) and of course, as most attorneys like to bully people, Mr. Bradley D. Moody, Esq., also had to threaten me with storage charges for Phill keeping my things. (Don’t worry Mr. Bradley D. Moody, one thing Emma taught me is to document well, and I have the e-mails from YEARS ago where I told Phill he could get rid of my things.)

Sometimes, during our 26 year marriage, I would joke with Phill about his passive aggressive streak. Phill is a perfectionist about a lot of things. If he cared about doing something, he would do it right. He would research and read about how to do something before tackling it, and do every little detail to make it right.

Phill would also freely admit he was a procrastinator.   I didn’t really mind that because I didn’t care about most stuff, but it did bug me when he would tell me he was going to do something, even though I didn’t ask him to, and then he wouldn’t follow through. I would ask him to not tell me he was going to do something if he really wasn’t. That did aggravate me. “Just don’t tell me, so I won’t be expecting it.”

Then, if I did remind Phill about something told me he would do, he would do it, but not do the typical good job he did on things. Later, I would joke with him that his passive aggressive side was showing.  It was always very clear if Phill was doing something willingly or grudgingly.

Procrastinator

When someone shared this on FB, I had to laugh.  It is sooo Phill!

Well, Phill’s passive aggressive side is showing again.

I wasn’t sure I even wanted to bother, but I went to the storage unit where Phill dumped my things. First off, he rented the smallest unit he could, so everything is crammed in there, and I can’t go through it without pulling everything out, and some of the boxes are too heavy for me to lift and put back. Most of the stuff is ruined, so I don’t want it, and I’m certainly not going to drag it home.

Mouse turds

A box of books with other things thrown in.  You can see some dead cockroaches and all the little turds.  Ummmm,  No thanks, I won’t be bringing these home..

cat dollThis was a sweet little cat figure Phill bought me, early in our marriage, when we went to visit a shop in Sandy Springs Ga. that was on his UPS route at the time.  This was a Christmasy cat and I got another one in a pink dress, but I haven’t found that one.  This one was thrown in with a box of books, not packed carefully at all, and you can see one of the little turds on the apron.  Ummm, thanks anyway honey, but I don’t really want all this nasty stuff you left me.   

I don’t know if Phill or Emma did the packing, but while some clothes were put in a wardrobe box, others were thrown in garbage bags. I brought a few things home in a garbage bag that I thought I might want, but once I got home, there were bugs in among the clothes, so they didn’t even come in the house. Most of them smelled bad, I guess from having sat out in the garage for 6 years. If I hadn’t worn it in 6 years, I probably don’t need it now.

I opened a couple of boxes and found things thrown together. Fragile things were thrown in boxes of books. Some of the boxes were full of roach and mouse turds, and a lot of things were ruined from either the mice, bugs, or the heat and humidity. It was gross. Thank goodness I had some hand sanitizer in the car.

I do have a question for Bradley D. Moody, attorney at law of Lee Sexton and Associates P.C., son-in-law of Matt Klos, husband of Jessie Klos Moody, father to cute little little Ella Moody, who signs his letters with his Bar#655693. Mr. Moody, since you were threatening me with storage charges for Phill keeping my things, even though I told him years ago that he could get rid of my things, wasn’t Phill supposed to do his due diligence and take proper care of my things? I mean, really!

Another interesting note, was some things that Phill took back, the ol’ Indian Giver. I had an old uniform with a white apron, and I kept it in the closet and kept my pins on the white apron. I had saved almost all of Phill’s UPS Safe Driving pins that he GAVE me.  He didn’t want them. I think there were 23 or so at that point, and when I found that uniform with the apron, the UPS pins were gone. At some point, early on, I had asked for the pins and told him I wanted to keep those UPS pins, but I guess I’m not entitled to them now that I’m the ex-wife. I hope Kim Chassion enjoys them. (I don’t know if Phill and Kim have married yet, but Phill needs to be married. I’ll write more about that later.)

Pins

What was left of my pin collection, or I guess I should say, what Phill allowed me to have of my pins.

I guess I will go back and go through a few more things. I’m not sure it’s worth the bother, but there are a few mementos I would like to have if I stumble upon them.

Thank you, Honey.  You’re a Peach.  Oh, wait, you’re from New Jersey.  Maybe I should say, “You’re a Silver Queen Corn.”  You shouldn’t have. I mean, you really shouldn’t have. Really.

SilverQueenPhillMy Silver Queen, Phill.  I’m sort of seeing the resemblance.

Moving Madness and Why I Gave Phill Our Home

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Moving Madness and Why I Gave Phill Our Home

Once again, I was thinking of some of the things I don’t have.   The other day, I was talking to some friends about trying a recipe, now that I have a decent kitchen. (My rental house had a very small counter, and not a lot of kitchen space, and I’ve worked two jobs for the past 5 years, so I didn’t cook much. And besides, Phill has all my kitchen dishes, pots, pans, tools, etc.)

So I was talking to friends, and said, “Oh, wait. I can’t make this yet. I need a rolling pin and a baking sheet before I try it.” Darn that Phill. He got all my stuff, and thinking about trying a recipe just means more work because not only do I have to shop for the groceries, but the cookware as well.

I’m still settling in. That will take a while. I don’t have much furniture, so I don’t have places to put things. Phill has all our old dressers, armories, entertainment center, book cases, night stands, chests, china cabinet, my desk, my office chair, etc., etc., etc. He did let me have one dresser and a $10 cheap book case he got at Office Depot or Office Max and had stuck in the garage to get rid of.

I bought a smallish antique chifferobe from a friend just because I liked it and could use it, and they were moving and getting rid of some things. Well, wouldn’t you know, we locked the door on the chifferobe when I moved away from crazy neighbor, and then when I went to open it, the key broke with a piece falling inside the lock! I could really use to have that space to put a few things, and I can’t get to it! Just my luck!

I found a site where I could order a bunch of antique keys and I think one of them will work, and then found out they are out of stock and won’t have more keys for about a month. Fortunately, other than to get my rain jacket, which is locked in the chifferobe, there’s nothing in there that I’m desperate for.

So the boxes sit.

I had a beautiful home with Phill. If you want to google it, it was 284 Buck Trail, Hoschton, Ga. 30548.  Even more than our home, I loved the almost 2, mostly wooded acres we had. I spent many hours out in the yard, clearing growth and cutting some of the wild stuff down so we could walk through it. I have always been a dog person, and I loved having a big, fenced-in backyard for the dogs. Later on, Phill built me some agility equipment, and I even though I never wanted to compete in agility, I enjoyed having the dogs run through some exercises on the equipment. I had taken our dog, Little C to agility classes for about a year. It was so much fun, and he loved it, too. Later on, Emma and I took, Benny, one of our foster dogs, to agility too.

Now I have an overgrown back yard that needs a lot of work, and I guess sooner or later I will get to it. I’m not really in a hurry, but I would like to do something with it to get the Georgia clay under control. I either need to terrace the yard, and maybe put down some gravel, or plant some ground cover to cover up all this clay. I don’t want my current little buddy dragging it into the house.

Phillgarden

I thought after Emma was grown, Phill and I would get to a lot of the things we’d talked about doing around the house and yard. Neither of us were real gardeners, but we’d talked about taking a Master Gardener course and as limited as our knowledge was, we had things we thought about doing to fix up the yard. Phill wanted to put in a pond, and I understand he put in an outdoor tv area or some such thing after he dumped me.  Someone told me about it, but I don’t remember what it was. Me, personally, I go outside to get away from that stuff, so I probably wouldn’t have cared much for it, but you know men and their TVs. They like to have them everywhere. I always thought it was kind of funny because Phill wanted TVs everywhere or wanted whatever was new out on the tv scene, and I would say, “Why?” We didn’t watch much television, so I never understood his fascination with wanting the latest and greatest or all his ideas for having TVs everywhere. One thing he wanted to do was have a tv at the end of our bed that recessed into the floor. I will say that when Phill went out and bought a flat screen tv, even though he’d just bought a HUGE tv a couple of years before that he just had to have and got up to go stand in line at a Black Friday sale, I did notice how sharp the picture was. One of the night time talk shows was on, and I think it was Jay Leno talking to Reese Whitherspoon, and I said, “Wow. I can read what’s on the coffee mug.” and Phill beamed, the proud hunter who brought home the prized, elusive, tv. (I think this TV was another Black Friday deal too, if I remember right.) I also remember the gorgeous Reese Whitherspoon had some “back fat” in the beautiful black, strapless gown she wore and thinking, if someone that beautiful has back fat, there is no hope for the rest of us Plain Janes.

I was never much of a decorator, and I had just discovered pinterest right before Phill had me thrown out of our home, so I think, had Phill not thrown away our marriage, I might have gotten ideas for decorating and making our home prettier. I was never good at that sort of thing and needed (still need!) some help. I have a few things I’m good at, but decorating is not one of them.

Phillsuit

Phill Roey, my sweet, geeky, introverted (until he became an RC air plane nut) husband.  Phillip Thomas Roey, Phill Roey

We bought our Hoschton home in 1995, and I thought we would live there until we were brought out of the home feet first.  I never wanted to go through the whole moving ordeal ever again! Every once in a while, Phill would talk about retiring in the N. Ga. Mountains, or some place like that, but I didn’t think he was too serious about it.

I know some of my readers have been through a divorce, or some other horrible life circumstances, and people have asked me why I let Phill have the house. Well, I will tell you and it’s pretty simple. Even after throwing me out of our home and taking off, traveling around the country flying RC planes, acting like a responsibility-free teenager while his family was falling apart, I always thought Phill would do the right thing.  I still believed in my husband.

I knew Phill would not be able to deny Emma’s lies forever. Emma and I might have argued a lot, and maybe I yelled too much (he always joked about how she loved to push my buttons), but he knew I didn’t not abuse my daughter. Emma lied about being molested, about her friend who was NOT raped, and did NOT try to commit suicide, and Emma lied about so many other things and even lied about Phill. Emma lied about being poisoned with DDT and even lied about Tyler’s family. (But the poor boy still married her. I fear the future is not so bright for that marriage.) Sooner or later, the man that I loved, was going to have to come to his senses, face the truth, and stand up for his family.

I could have forced Phill to sell the home, but I didn’t. I couldn’t afford the home and didn’t even have a job yet. I’d been out of my field for 17 years and had to take a course to return to the job market, and even then, let me tell you, not too many people are interested in interviewing someone who hasn’t worked in their field in 17 years. I’d come from the pen and paper days and all of a sudden I was filling out application after application on line and wondering if anyone even read them. There was no way I could afford the mortgage or even the utilities to our Hoschton home. Besides looking in my field, I applied for jobs at places like Home Depot, Target, PetsMart, Doller General, and a couple of jobs as a veterinary assistant. No one at those jobs wanted to hire me because I was over qualified, but I couldn’t get an interview in my field because I’d been out of work for so long.  It was a horrible position to be in.  I thought I’d never get a job.  One of the jobs I interviewed for told me they wouldn’t hire me because they knew I would leave for a better job as soon as I could. After having been a housewife for so long, I was scared.  I cried buckets mostly over the loss of my marriage and family, but also because my future was looking pretty bleak.  No one wanted me as an employee, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

Phill had to pay me a few years of alimony, and he got our home. What else could I do?

I believed in my husband, but I was wrong. I’ll write a little more about this when I finish up writing about the death of my marriage, but that pretty much sums it up. I thought my husband was a better man and he would do the right thing. I was wrong.  I bet on the wrong horse.  Instead, Phill traveled around the country, flying RC planes, acting like a teenager, drinking beer with his buddies, and got a girlfriend.  The man that I had always believed in, who I believed would do whatever he had to to take care of his family, failed with flying colors.  I guess if you’re going to do something, even if it’s something horrible, do it spectacularly, and go down in a blaze of glory.

Childhood Lies and the Fire Alarm

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

After my last post about Pretty Little Liars, I got to thinking a lot about Emma’s childhood lies. Should Phill and I have caught on that Emma had a problem? Did we miss the signs that Emma had a problem telling the truth? We didn’t have another child to compare Emma to, but maybe if we had, would we have noticed that Emma lied more than most children?

One of the lies I that stuck in my mind after that last “Pretty Little Liars” post was the story about the fire drill. We were at Master’s Academy, the homeschool arts program where Emma took classes on Fridays, and I worked, at first just to pay for Emma’s tuition, but later, because kids were interested in my classes, and I found that I loved teaching the kids. (Masters Academy took place at Hebron Baptist Church, Dacula, Ga. Later on, the arts program became Dacula Classical Academy.)

Emma was in 6th or 7th grade, and was taking a dance class. I don’t even remember what class I was in, but there was a fire alarm, and we had to take the kids outside. Afterwards, on the drive home, Emma told me what I think was an Emma Tale, about how one of the girls in the class, Rachel M. had “accidentally” pulled the fire alarm. How do you accidentally pull a fire alarm? Don’t they have a little glass bar that has to break to sound the alarm? Silly me, I had just assumed that the fire drill was a routine event that occurred every once in a while. Since we were like a school at the church, it would make sense to have fire drills, like we had in school when we were kids.

I questioned Emma, because the story just didn’t sound right, but she went on about how Rachel was dancing around and somehow grabbed the fire alarm and set it off.

I had been an aide in some classes with Rachel, and I know I had her in at least one of my classes, and also Rachel’s little sister. Both girls were very sweet, quiet, kind, polite, helpful, good workers, and well behaved. They never caused any kind of trouble, never brought any attention to themselves, and had Rachel “accidentally” pulled the fire alarm, she would have been MORTIFIED, and according to Emma, that’s what happened. Poor Rachel was so embarrassed that she had pulled the fire alarm, she had to hide and couldn’t face anyone. Emma went into great detail about how embarrassed Rachel was over “accidentally” pulling the fire alarm.

masters-dance

Emma and a friend from a dance class at Master’s Academy

A lot of Emma’s childhood lies have caused me to think and wonder if Phill and I could have done anything different. So many times, I couldn’t prove Emma was lying, so I just let her tell her stories and didn’t go out and verify that she was lying. Being a “not my child” kind of mom, of course I didn’t want to believe my child had trouble telling the truth. All children lie, right? When does lying become a problem? Is Emma’s lying my fault (everything in Emma’s life is my fault, so I guess I need to take credit for this too) because I didn’t establish a “No Lying” policy in the house to get Emma on the straight an narrow?

Kids like for attention, to individuate, to get out of trouble, to establish their identity, etc. Kids learn to tell white lies, so as not to hurt someone’s feelings, just like they see adults do. There were times I felt like Emma’s lies came from an active imagination, and again, I assumed lying was a normal part of childhood. During Emma’s teen years, I learned that Emma would say whatever she needed to say to get what she wanted. She would tell me she put her clothes away, when she crammed them under her dresser or threw them on her closet floor because I’d told her to put her clothes away before we were going to do something or go somewhere. Again, I thought this was just typical kid behavior. Did I miss something?

It will be interesting to see where my prodigal daughter goes in life. Is it too later for her to have a normal life. Will she continue to lie her way through life? Is it now such a part of her that there’s no turning back? I also have to wonder about Tyler and if he’s caught on to Emma yet. Living with her on a daily basis, even blinded by love, I think sooner or later he will figure it out.

Happy Birthday Emma #23!!

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

icarriedyou

Ok, except the labor was more like 20 hours or so, not 15!  Emma, I remember being at Target with Daddy at about 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and I had to sit down on an empty shelf because the pain was so bad!  I kept denying it was labor because it was too early.  We were going to go get our Christmas tree, but we never made it.

20130430_23

I’m re-posting this picture just because it was one of my favorites of Emma helping me do Pet’s with Santa photos.  Emma is holding Benny, who was our foster dog at that time.  Santa was the classmate of our good friend, Janice, and generously volunteered his time to help the rescue animals.

Dec. 19, 1993 at 7:34 am, my beautiful baby girl was born in downtown Atlanta, Ga.  Emma, you weighed 6 pounds, 12 ounces and were 19 1/2 inches long.  One day, I’ll write a longer version and tell you more about the day you were born.

Tell Tyler I’m sorry I forgot his birthday.  I’ll do better next year.  I hope you both are well and have a wonderful day!

Love, Mom

Oh, and Emma:

http://www.scarymommy.com/girls-nagging-moms-grow-successful-says-science/

You’re Welcome.

Pretty Little Liars

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Pretty Little Liars

happening52

Emma at a teen church retreat called Happening 52.

I never knew much about liars and lying. I guess I never thought much about lying being a disorder. I thought people lied to get what they want, but never thought about people NOT being able to stop themselves from lying.

I know someone, a friend of a friend, who is a liar. I don’t know this man well, but he’s a pretty nice person. He will drop what he’s doing to help a friend, and when I needed something, he dropped everything to help me one day because another friend called him, and I hardly even know the guy. The odd thing about this man is that he is a liar. I don’t think he means to lie, it’s more like telling stories. He starts talking, and they just come out. His lies aren’t mean. He doesn’t talk badly about people. On the contrary, I remember one story he told about someone, and the story was very complimentary and positive, just not true. Everyone that knows this man knows how he is. You take what he says with a grain of salt because it’s probably not true. I suppose if I spent any time around this man, his stories would get on my nerves, but he’s harmless. I know he’s lost friends who got tied of his lying, and I don’t understand it, but it’s just the way he is.

Over the years, I’ve thought a lot about Emma’s lies. I wondered if Emma knew she lied or did she even know what came out of her mouth. I’ve wondered why Emma lied. Some lies were a means to an end. Emma had a plan and lied to get her way. Other lies were just stories about people. They were typically negative stories, maybe to make Emma look good. Just about everyone Emma knew at school was sexually active, drinking, or using drugs for example. Emma’s friend, Kayla Benifield Weaver, was a good enough friend to want Emma in her wedding, and yet Emma told so many lies about Kayla’s mother, grandparents, boyfriend’s family, etc., and these were mean, hateful lies. Kayla’s mother and her (then) boyfriend were drunks and kept the girls out all night at a sports bar, Kayla’s grandfather was a racist, white supremacist, Blair’s little sister had medical issues and his parents expected Kayla and Blair to have her live with them once they got married……….. And then there’s the whole “Lacey” story. How does a pen-pal turn into a rape victim and attempt suicide? Why would Emma make up these stories?

Those are some of the big lies, but there were many little lies. Emma would have barely met someone and lie about them. I think one I mentioned before was a new couple at church with two little girls, and Emma claimed that the girls were his by his first marriage, and the wife was the stepmom. Emma told me this story when she was in 9th grade and co-teaching Sunday school with an adult teacher. Why would Emma make this up?

Emma was in 9th or 10th grade when a friend called and I was out of town. Emma claimed she had this great, long conversation with this friend who was talking about the state of the world, and I don’t even remember the bizarre story Emma told me, other than it was something about white supremacists and how this friend told Emma she would need to keep some blonde hair dye under the sink so she could become blonde. At the time, I was out of state, visiting a friend who was dying of cancer, so I really didn’t care much or think much about this story, but of course now I wish I’d done more to call Emma on her lies..

Why, when a couple of friends so generously took Emma to the Cirque Du Soleil, would Emma say they talked all through the show and that people kept turning around staring at them?

When Emma went to Haiti with a group from Eternal Hope in Haiti, she came back with many stories that I have to question now, but she also told me about a friend of ours who asked her why she would go down there to help ________s (the N-word.) This friend was proud of Emma for wanting to help people and never said any such thing.

I’ve heard people describe Emma as pathological, antisocial, a compulsive liar, borderline, delusional….. but I have to admit, it’s been a long, long time since I took Psych 101 in college, so I didn’t really know what any of these meant, so I will share with you a little about what I’ve read on lying liars and the liars who tell them. I’m not even sure the so-called experts agree on the terms and their meanings, but here are a few things I’ve found:

A Sociopath

A sociopath is typically defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others. A sociopath is often goal-oriented (i.e., lying is focused—it is done to get one’s way). Sociopaths have little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others. Sociopaths are often charming and charismatic, but they use their talented social skills in manipulative and self-centered ways.

Compulsive Liar

A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning (unlike sociopaths), rather they simply lie out of habit—an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship.

Site: truthaboutdeception.com

Could Emma be both? I definitely see some of the sociopath lying in Emma, but there were other times where Emma just seemed to lie without thinking, sort of like the man I mentioned at the beginning of this post. Emma lied as easily as she told the truth. At home, Emma frequently lied especially if you asked her if she’d done a chore. The answer was always yes, and more often than not, that was a lie. I thought that was normal kid behavior. What kids likes to do chores? Or did Phill and I miss something by not catching on to all the little harmless lies Emma told.

Pathological Liars

Pathological liars lie with what might be called “intent”. They have a clear purpose or aim they hope to achieve through lying. They can be manipulative and cunning and normally care little for the opinions or feelings of others. Pathological liars simply want things their own way.

Compulsive Liars

A compulsive liar is someone who has little or no control over the lies he or she tells. Lying, for them, is habitual and constant. They may lie about anything and in any situation. They lie to avoid the truth, perhaps because they find telling the truth uncomfortable.

It appears that low self-esteem is a significant factor in the development of a compulsive liar. The condition may be developed whilst in childhood and in most cases, compulsive liars are relatively harmless. They lie habitually and may be aware of doing so, but find themselves unable to stop.

Site: Steadyhealth.com

Again, Emma seems to be both a pathological and a compulsive liar. The pathological liar goes along with the sociopath liar. So many times I felt like Emma lied as easliy as she told the truth, and that seems to fit the compulsive liar definition.

Then, I found something interesting about Genetic liars:

In 2022 geneticists made a remarkable discovery. Among people who are just incapable of telling the truth, one in five is a congenital liar. That is, their constant lying is the result of a specific genetic defect.

Site:http://www.cs.wcupa.edu/epstein/Default.htm

Could Emma’s lying be a genetic disorder?

And a little more information, this website lists five types of liars, and if you read the first section about Sociopathic Liars, you will recognize Emma. I could write pages and pages about how this definition applies to Emma.

Sociopathic Liars

Sociopaths are defined as someone who lies continuously in an attempt to get their own way, without showing care or concern for others. These individuals are goal-oriented.

Even though it might seem hard to believe, lying is focused – they are focused on getting their own way. Sociopaths don’t have a lot of respect or regard for the feelings and rights of others. They tend to be charismatic and charming, but they will use their exceptional social skills in a self-centered and manipulative manner.

Compulsive Liars

Compulsive liars are defined as someone who continually lies from sheer habit. Lying tends to be their normal manner of responding to any questions from others.

These individuals will always bend the truth, regardless of how small or large the question is. For these individuals, telling the truth doesn’t feel right. They are uncomfortable whenever they tell the truth, while lying makes them feel right.

Compulsive lying is often thought to manifest during childhood, due to being put into situations and environments where lying became a necessity. Most of the time, compulsive liars aren’t cunning or manipulative, rather they only lie because it has become such a habit for them.

This automatic response is more difficult to break. It can end up taking its toll on being able to maintain a relationship. Many people also call these individuals pathological liars or habitual liars, but they all mean the same thing.

Occasional Liars

Occasional liars are those who seldom tell a lie. When they do, they are so blown away by what they said that their guilt overcomes them. These individuals are quick to ask for forgiveness from the individual that they lied to.

Occasional liars might not be perfect, but they are often respected for their attempts at being truthful and humble enough to admit when they are wrong.

Careless Liars

Careless liars will go about their normal lives and lie every way they can. This individual isn’t concerned about trying to hide their lies or making sure they make sense. Everyone knows that the person isn’t being honest because they tend to be sloppy with their lies. They don’t have a lot of friends because most people get tired of hearing their twisted stories.

White Liars

People who tell white lies don’t usually think of themselves as true “liars”. They justify their white lies as harmless, or even beneficial, in the long term. They will sometimes tell only part of the truth, and not be suspected of lying at all. White liars may use their lies to to shield someone from what they believe is a hurtful or damaging truth.

Sadly, lying is a common denominator in many of our lives and recognizing some of the different types might just help us in dealing with the liar in our lives.

http://www.compulsivelyingdisorder.com/

So, dear readers, this is just some information for you about lying and liars. I know a lot of my readers know Emma, so you can read for yourself and make your own decision about what kind of liar you think Emma is. As for me, I still don’t know. Yes, as much as I hate to say this about my own child, I do think she’s a sociopath. I would like to think of that happy ending for my child, that she’s going to have a happy, normal life, that she can function as a responsible adult, that she will learn from her mistakes and grow into a better person, but I don’t think those things will happen for Emma. She’s never going to grow up and take responsibility. Everything wrong in her life will always be someone else’s fault.

Sadly, I think Emma’s husband will figure Emma out sooner or later. Tyler may be blinded by love right now, but as smart as Emma is, I don’t think she will be able to pull the wool over his eyes forever.

Is there help for Emma? There seems to be a number of opinions about that as well. If Phill and I had caught on sooner that Emma had a problem, could she have gotten help for her lying? Is it too late? Someone said to me that at the age of 16 a person’s personality is pretty much formed. Emma is what she is.

I feel like Phill and I owe the world an apology for our daughter. At one time, I thought we were raising a decent child who would make the world a better place. I guess when mental illness (or a personality disorder, but that’s for another post) rears it’s ugly head, all bets are off. Like the alcoholic, Emma can’t be helped if she doesn’t admit she has a problem, and it could also be something beyond Emma’s control. She is what she is, and being a liar may be as much a part of her as her blue-grey eyes or her light brown hair.

Denial Dad! And What’s Your Superpower?

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Denial Dad! And What’s Your Superpower?

A lot of people have asked me over the past few years, “What happened to Phill?” “What is wrong with Phill?” and many more questions along those lines. Well, Phill is really the only one who can answer that, but I can give you my perspective after being married to the man for 26+ years. Phill was a good person, and I never thought in a million years he would do some of the things he did, and I surely thought, after realizing his mistake, Phill would take the appropriate action. But, like a lot of men, Phill has a lot of trouble admitting he’s wrong, and let’s face it, accusing your wife of abusing your daughter and destroying your marriage because of it is one heck of a mistake to make.

I wanted to share what it it like to deal with Phill through some recent e-mails. A while back, Phill and I were texting and when I brought up a subject Phill was uncomfortable with, he threatened to block me, which I’m assuming he did. I haven’t tried to text him in a while, so I don’t know for sure. At the time, I assumed he blocked me from his e-mails as well.

Recently, I misplaced a check and forgot all about cashing it. At the same time, a friend and I’d been talking about how I used to do some beadwork (you can see it on my facebook page, and if your are interested, just e-mail me and I’ll send you the album links), and I sort of wished I had my old desk and maybe I’d take up my old hobby again. I told her that I’d asked Phill two or three years ago for my desk, but he just ignored me. She told me to ask him for it, and knowing about Phill’s difficulty with facing his wife, suggested that she could go over and pick up my desk for me. I’d already told Phill that he could have all my stuff, and if you’re curious about that part of the story, just do a search for Bradley D. Moody, and you can read all about Phill and how he came to keep all my things.

So anyway, back to my story, I came home and thought why not e-mail and ask for my desk, a birthday gift Phill got me from IKEA, but since Phill had probably blocked me, I was going to e-mail his newest attorney, Bradley D. Moody, Attorney at Law with Lee Sexton and Associates in Stockbridge, Ga.? And since Bradley D. Moody, son-in-law of Matt Klos, husband of Jessie Klos Moody, father to little Ella Moody, always uses his Bar# when he signs his correspondences, I was going to be sure to include Bar#655693.

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This picture of Rob, one of the kids from Emma’s youth group, but you can see part of the IKEA desk in the background.  It had some nice shelves.

I came home and got on the computer, and surprise, surprise, there, out of the blue, was an e-mail from my husband! It read as follows:

10/28/16

I reissued a check you didn’t cash back in July, it should be there in a few days. They’re only good for 90 days so it was automatically voided.

I never blocked my email so you don’t have to get creative if you need to get in touch.

Phill

So I responded:

Wow. Your ears must be burning. I was just about to email your “attorney” Bradley D. Moody, attorney at law #655693 to get in touch with you.

A while ago, I asked for the desk that you got me for my birthday from IKEA, and you never brought it. Can I send a “third party” to pick it up?

Oh, and since I have you, a friend re-did my computer with Windows 10, etc., but I lost my snip tool. (This has quite a learning curve, for me anyway.) Can you tell me the name of that program we had. I can’t seem to find it.

My best to Emma.

So…………….after all this time of no correspondence whatsoever from my dear husband, I get yet another e-mail the same day:

If you click on the Cortana button just to the right of the start(windows) button and start typing “snipping” the tool will show up.

http://www.techsupportalert.com/content/screenshot-captor.htm-1

The one we used to use is gone.

As to the desk, you have lost the rights to the items you didn’t pick up. I tried for years to get you to get the items in the settlement

Phill

Wow, what authority! He certainly told me, didn’t he! It’s a shame he never took that tone with Emma, or she might not have the problems she does. (Well, yeah, she probably would, I think she was born with some personality disorders and such, but we just didn’t figure it out.)

Ok, and so some of you reading this blog know me, and know I can be a very patient person when I need to be, but sometimes, just sometimes, I have a low tolerance for idiots, so I couldn’t resist getting a little bit snarky:

Okay, but would you please send me the copy of the Toxicology report that Emma claims to have showing that I poisoned her with DDT? My lawyer is still waiting on that.

Did you ever talk to Father T. about all those times Emma babysat his boys? And the time she had the called 911 because son #1 got so out of hand?

Lie after lie. What happens when you finally accept the truth in real life How badly you betrayed your wife? Don’t bother to answer. I won’t bother you again. I’ll go through your attorney for anything else.

Love, wifey number one. My best to Kim. (Kim Chassion, aka Mrs. Roey 2.0)

And if you’re new to the blog, let me just mention that yes, Emma was going around telling people I poisoned her with DDT, and Emma never babysat our priest’s sons, but knew the parents had to call 911 when their bipolar son got out of control one night, so she went around telling people that SHE had to call 911 one night when SHE was babysitting the boys. Funny thing is, Emma NEVER babysat those boys.

So once again, the threat:

I will answer emails regarding alimony and the property settlement. I also don’t mind tech support questions.

I will not respond to anything having to do with the grounds leading to the divorce. I warned you I’d block phone and text if you continued to harangue me and you chose to push it so I blocked you. If you do the same on email I’ll block that too, leaving only US mail. I’d prefer not to do that.

Phill

Poor Phill! Harangued! Threatening to block me again! Oh, my stars, what will I do? (I swear folks, he was not this stupid when I was married to him.) I brought up a subject that Phill can’t deal with, so he has to threaten to block me again. Horrors!  Funny, it was some SEFF folks who told me about Emma going around saying I poisoned her with DDT and she had the toxicology report to prove it, but my poor little snowflake of a husband can’t deal with that, so we are not allowed to discuss it.  Nope, can’t even bring it up.  Phill won’t explain Emma’s actions because he can’t, and he can’t face the truth, so let’s just not talk about it.  Now, that’s a real tough man right there, isn’t he?

At this point, I figured I’d just let Phill retreat to his “Safe Space” and get some counseling, some warm milk, and maybe a therapy dog. I didn’t want to stress the poor boy out any more than I already had. After all, if he can’t handle an e-mail and has to threaten to block me, he must really be upset. Poor baby. (I swear folks, he wasn’t this much of a wimp when I was married to him.) I didn’t e-mail Phill and further and decided if I needed to talk to him, I’d just do it through the blog or through his latest attorney, Bradley D. Moody, Attorney at Law, Bar #655693, the associate part of Lee Sexton and Associates of Stockbridge, Ga., son-in-law of Phill’s RC buddy, Matt Klos (Events Director of SEFF), wife of Jessie Klos Moody, father to Ella Moody, and as for computer help, I won’t bother the poor boy with that either, though I always need the help, but thankfully, I have other friends who are computer literate, as I am not!  (Usually, when I asked Phill to teach me something on the computer, he told me not to worry about it because he’d always be there to do it for me.)

This blog is really about Emma, and I’m not going to talk too much about Phill, or at least not now, other than how he relates to the story of Emma. We were married for 26 years, and up until Emma accused me (the 2nd time) of abuse, I thought we were happy. Phill always claimed to be happy, talked about retirement, and us doing things together after Emma was gone, etc. and was proud of our long marriage right up until he decided to have a midlife crisis in the middle of all Emma’s problems. I was totally blindsided by what my husband did and one day, I hope he’ll have the guts to explain to me what in the world he was thinking, but right now, he can’t face me (I am that scary!), or I guess to put it more clearly, he can’t face what he did, so the easiest way for him to deal with that is to not to have to face me, hence that’s why he wanted me to send a 3rd party to pick up my things at our home………………… I mean, I get the whole midlife crisis thing. I’ve known several women who’ve been through the same thing. There is always someone younger, cuter, slimmer, different issues, someone who hasn’t heard your same jokes and stories 1000 times, a bottle blonde as opposed to your salt and pepper haired wife…………. (funny thing is, Phill hated me coloring my hair and wanted me to let it go natural, and then he takes up with a bottle blonde?) But the Phill I was married to would not have let Emma go on with her lies. The Phill I was married to considered himself a secular humanist, a good person, and he would have not let an innocent person be falsely accused by his daughter, but now he’s done it with both the priest and with me. And for many other lie’s Emma’s told, Phill just makes excuses for her.  When Emma claimed the girl down the street had an abortion and she might be pregnant again, I later investigated and this girl told me none of it was true.  Instead of asking Emma about her lies, Phill chose to believe the girl told Emma these things to sound cool.  Emma couldn’t have possible made them up.  Somebody get the man a cape for Christmas!

I hope Phill survives this midlife personality shift he’s going through with a clear conscience. The man I was married to would have stood up and would have been a man, and would have done what’s right, but I don’t even know who this new Phill is.  I don’t think he does either.

And, BTW, Phill was wrong about the snip tool, I was able to get the exact one I had, which is great because I am a creature of habit and wanted to stick with the one I know.

As for the desk, that’s ok, Phill. I have new hobbies now and I’ll probably end up giving all my beading stuff away. I like to write now, and I still have a lot of Emma’s story to tell.

A Question of Timing

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

A Question of Timing

I’ve been reading a lot about liars and lying, and I probably have several posts I can write about that topic as it relates to Emma, but something that’s been on my mind lately was Emma’s timing.

The first time Emma accused me of physical abuse (Dec. 2010), it was to cover up the lies about her friend “Lacey” who was not raped and did not attempt suicide. Since Emma claimed “Lacey’s” rape brought up her repressed memories of being molested when she was 12, how could Emma’s own allegations be true if the stories about “Lacey” were NOT true. We had some attorneys who were willing to sue on Emma’s behalf, and they were about to file the lawsuit. I can only imagine the panic Emma must have felt as a just turned 17 year old, about to be caught in a whopper of a lie. Everyone would know that her claims of being sexually molested by a priest were lies! Emma had to stop the law suit, so she found a way to take the focus off her stories with a new story. Now poor Emma wasn’t just the victim of sexual abuse by a priest, but she was also the vicim of physical abused by her mother! What drama!

Ok, so that is not the part I am thinking about at this point. That was really just a brief update for my new readers who might not have read a lot of Emma’s story yet.

In March of 2011, Emma was in school at Jefferson High School, Jefferson Ga., and we were cruising along in therapyland. We took Emma to weekly appointments with Suzie McGarvey ( Lanier Counseling, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) and had family therapy sessions. Emma also had several DFACS therapists who met with her. At that time, she really didn’t have any friends, other than “Lacey” whom she texted and e-mailed and called her “best friend” although the two girls had never met. It was kind of like we were paying therapists to act in the place of Emma’s friends.

Phill and I had met with Suzie a few times privately as well, and when Emma found out about this, she was furious. She yelled at me and claimed we were going to meet with Suzie to “talk bad” about her. To add to her fury, Emma was upset when she found out Phill and I had gone out to IHOP to eat after a session. Apparently we weren’t allowed to eat out without our daughter. How dare we cheat her out of her funny face pancakes! (Come on, Emma. It’s not like we were going to The Melting Pot or something.)

It was March 14th, 2011 when we met with Suzie McGarvey and she told me that Emma and I would have to be separated because Emma claimed I still abused her and she wanted to go live in a group home.

Something else going on at this time was that Phill was getting ready for SEFF Week (Southeast Electric Fly off) in Americus, Ga. He would go down and spend a week playing with RC planes and hanging out with his flying buddies. Emma had been going to SEFF since she was 12. She worked as the administrative assistant to the director Jeff Meyers and later Matt Klos’ (the father-in-law of Phill’s newest attorney, Bradley D. Moody, the associate part of Lee Sexton and Associates, Stockbridge, Ga.) She got paid for the week, and she loved the money she made. She worked hard and did a great job. We were always proud of how our sometimes typical nasty teenager could turn into a mature young lady who took her position seriously. Emma also liked the prestige of being the director’s right hand girl, and Jeff Meyers said some really nice things about how hard she worked. She got to boss around the vendors and tell them where to set up. Everyone knew Emma and she was known as the “go-to” girl. She worked at SEFF every year right up until 2015, until she got married.

emmajeffmeyers

Emma made a nice chunk of change and enjoyed working at SEFF week as Jeff Meyers’ assistant.  (And then later under Matt Klos)

I had never been to SEFF because SEFF week always conflicted with my end of the year program at the homeschool arts program where I worked part time, and it was always a busy week for me. Also, Emma and I spent so much time together all year and Phill was on the road so much with UPS, that I liked the idea of her having this week with Daddy and it being “their” annual thing together. Phill was always a little jealous of my relationship with Emma, so I was really glad for them to have this mommy-free time with just the two of them. After homeschooling and being busy with the end of the year program at my job, I usually enjoyed the first 2-3 of days of a quiet house to myself.

We had 3 dogs at home, so getting away wasn’t easy and Phill and Emma always sounded so busy that I wasn’t sure what I would do there, but Phill had been after me to go, so I was planning on going to Americus Ga. For SEFF in 2010. My school program ended on a Thursday night, so I could go down on Fri. and then we would all come home on Sunday.

Being somewhat an introvert and not knowing anyone at SEFF (I’d met a few of the people when I went out to watch Phill fly with the local RC groups, but I didn’t really know them.), I was a little nervous about driving down to Americus and hanging out with Phill and all his buddies. From what I heard, there was flying during the day and then a lot of sitting around, drinking and gabbing in the evening.

After hearing about what a great job Emma did at SEFF, I was really looking forward to seeing her in action. It sounded like she was kept pretty busy with all that had to be done, and I would get to see just what her job entailed after hearing so much about it. It was one of those things where you feel like all your hard work as a parent gets paid off, that you might get a glimpse of the adult your child is going to become.

Well, everything came to a screeching halt when Emma again accused me of abuse. I never even found out what I was actuall accused of that time. Suzie McGarvey just said that Emma claimed the abuse was still going on, but never told me anything specific. (Great job, Suzie! Just let your clients say whatever they want and don’t call them on it! As long as they pay and keep comint to therapy, they can say whatever they want, right?) I guess I should have pushed for that information, but at the time I was so distraught and shocked that Emma was pulling this stunt again that I just didn’t think of it. (Later, I did find out about Emma’s famous bruised arm, which written in another post so I’m not going to write it again here.) A couple of weeks later, my loving husband would want to know every detail of my schedule so he could have a sheriff’s deputy remove me from my home while he was out.

Of course, Phill wasn’t going to mess SEFF Week, so while his family was falling apart, he went down to Americus, Ga. To fly airplanes, hang out with all his new RC buds and drink beer. To be honest, I don’t even know if he took Emma that year or left her with Judy and John Hall, our neighbors who kept Emma when she couldn’t stay home with her abusive mother. She was in school at the time, and had missed so much, she should have been home and going to school, but Phill had his priorities and SEFF Week was more important than his family or his daughter’s school attendance

A year or so later, I was to hear from a few of Phill’s SEFF Week friends, whose names will be witheld from the blog. I got to hear some of the stories Emma told down at SEFF, including the one about me poisoning Emma with DDT and Emma claiming to have the toxicology report as proof.

I have to wonder, did Emma choose that time to once again accuse me of abusing her to stop me from going to SEFF Week? Was she afraid if I went down there and met people she’d been telling lies to that she would be exposed? She could trash talk her mom, but if people actually me her mom, they might find out she wasn’t this ogre that Emma described. Oh, no! Emma’s mom going to SEFF Week could ruin everything for her! Is this why Emma chose that particular time to cry abuse yet again? Only Emma knows her motives, and for now they are a mystery, but I have figured out a few things, and I may be on the right trail with my guess about this one.

Coming up next…………………….I think I’ll write about my latest experience with Denial Daddy.  Everyone needs a superpower!

Attention, Agendas, and New Friends

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

untitled-23

Emma going up and down a tree at the home of Carl Lehmann, Phill’s work partner.

I apologize to my readers for not keeping up with the blog.  I’m trying to get myself to organize my time a little better and work on writing more, but it’s hard to do between work and other obligations, and with the holidays coming, it gets even busier!  I’ve had some topics on my mind, but just haven’t sat down to write, so I’m posting something I was recently thinking about.

Attention, Agendas, and New Friends

With what’s going on in politics, and the women who have come forward at the last minute before the election to accuse Donald Trump of sexual abuse or harassment, I’ve had some conversations with people about sexual abuse, lying, reasons for lying, etc. The current events got me thinking about Emma’s lies and comparing her situation with what’s going on during this election season.

I haven’t really kept up with the allegations concerning Donald Trump. Apparently there are several women who accused him of sexual harassment or sexual assault. I tried to google the numbers, but those seem to change. It doesn’t really matter to me. Yes, I did hear the video of Mr. Trump speaking to Billy Bush, and yes it was crude and disgusting, and yes, I have been in situations where I’ve heard men speak the same way. (To be fair, in my situation of hearing men speak this way, the main one that comes to mind was when I was younger and worked as a waitress with some young guys. I thought of t their talk as bravado and masochism, and just thought of them as jerks with some growing up to do.) I’m not passing judgment on Mr. Trump either way right now. I’m not making a judgment as to whether these stories or true or not.

The timing of these accusations does make it appear that these women have an agenda. And yes, I do get that it takes one brave person to step forward and then others will follow. Also, apparently Mrs. Clinton was working on the Alicia Machado story for quite some time before bringing it up at the debate, so again, the fat shaming story was part of an agenda.

So, in reading about children and lying, I’ve wondered a lot about why children make up accusations about being molested or sexually abused, and I’ve wondered about Emma’s agenda in accusing the priest she accused of sexual assault. I know children don’t realize how much their story can harm another person, so of course they are not thinking of the ramifications of their actions, but from what I’ve read, the big reason is for attention, and that got me thinking about Emma’s need for attention. Why did Emma need to make up the abuse story?

I think a few things that come into play in the case of Emma’s accusing the priest of molestation are:

  1. Emma was failing an on line Physics class, so she told the teacher she’d been molested, couldn’t focus on school, etc.
  2. Emma was upset over the boy she liked losing interest in her.
  3. Emma had no close friends, and her two best friends were Kayla Weaver, whom she saw maybe twice a year, and “Lacey” who started out as pen-pal from an English assignment and became a friend through letters, e-mail, and texting, but whom Emma had never met. Phill and I did not realise that Emma was telling us many lies about “Lacey” and her family.
  4. Emma was bored. (I think we all know that bored teenagers, especially teens with a high IQ will find something to relieve their boredom whether it be something positive or something negative.)

As for Emma not having any friends, I didn’t think of this as a problem until I read Dr. Richard Born’s somewhat lacking (in my opinon) Psychological assessment of Emma. Emma wasn’t comfortable with kids her own age. Oh, she was a great leader or organizer. She made a great youth group secretary and could call or text the kids and remind them where to be and when, but she never really hung out with any of the kids other than in the youth group activities, and more typically at church, Emma liked being responsible for younger kids where she was in charge rather than a peer. Phill and I tried to encourage her to have kids over, were happy to host, cook, take them places or do whatever, but I realize now that was more us trying to encourage Emma, but Emma didn’t try to be a friend. And like a lot of kids, Emma could have a ton of friends on Facebook, and she could carry on some witty banter for a few lines, so she thought she was popular in that way.

One child, who Emma played with a few times when she was oh, I think middle school aged, described Emma as bossy, and lost interest in playing with Emma, and I think I understand it now. At the time, I thought it was just personality differences, but it was more that Emma would run things and wasn’t really being a friend.

It always made me sad that in 17 years of raising Emma, I never saw her have that “best friend” that so many of us remember fondly from childhood. Often, we’d invite a new friend to spend the night, and then they would reciprocate, and maybe see each other once or twice more, but that would be it. Emma didn’t seem to bond to anyone. Sadly, and as much as Emma would hate to admit this, I think I was her best friend up until she cried “child abuse.” I was often the person she sat with and cuddled and poured out her thoughts to, right up until she decided she didn’t need a mother anymore, but that is another story.

As for attention, I always thought Emma had PLENTY. As a homeschooling mom, I was at her beck and call, and Phill doted on her when he wasn’t on the road or out flying rc airplanes. We had a lot of fun as a family, just doing little things together, but she was always the center of our world. Yes, I know she was spoiled, but at the time, I thought no more than any other kid we knew.

Emma was very involved in church activities, in other things besides the youth group, and I was always proud of how she could socialize with people of any age, and wasn’t like some kids who clammed up and didn’t speak unless they were among kids their own age. I thought Emma got a lot out of having conversations with adults as well as kids, and I felt like she was exposed to a lot of people she wouldn’t have been exposed to had she been in public school, so I never felt like she was the “unsocialized homeschooler” but, as I said, I didn’t realize Emma was so uncomfortable around kids her own age.

Emma had belonged to a homeschool arts program, where I worked as well, and this was a big social activity for the homeschool kids. They would show up, greet their buddies, hang out between classes and after class, have lunch together, etc., but Emma really didn’t do much of that. She didn’t make any good friends, and she didn’t hang out much with the other kids. She would hang out in my classroom. She just never quite fit in, but I think she didn’t try to fit in.

A lot of the kids loved Drama, as did Emma, but Emma didn’t want to take the drama classes because there were too many kids and not enough parts. She wanted to be a lead, and there was too much competition. She also complained about how the end of the year program was written so that many of the kids would have some sort of speaking part. She didn’t like that teacher tried to include everyone and not just have a few star parts, so Emma would take some other elective and then was rarely happy with her choice. I know kids complain about school, and that’s just what they do, but it really wasn’t until Emma got to Jackson County Comprehensive High School that Emma found her true love, Drama with Mrs. Bonnie Roberts. That is, until the 2nd semester when Emma couldn’t have a big part in the play after having been the star the first semester. Suddenly, she didn’t care that much about Drama anymore and that was when Emma started a lot of throwing up and missed so much school we had to pull her out and finish the semester on line.

Emma lost interest and later quit the homeschool arts program. I continued to teach there, which was a bone of contention with her. I think Emma was always a little jealous that I had a great time with the kids in my classes.

I have to wonder, was Emma’s making up a tale of being sexually molested partly in response to the lack of attention she’d been receiving. She’d loved being the star of Metamorphosis, but 2nd semester was a let down. She had no friends at school, and no longer was the queen of the drama class she’d loved so much. If I remember right, Emma couldn’t even take drama that semester and had to take PE and Health instead, so school was a real bummer. Is this part of what led to all the vomiting and then later the molestation accusation? Emma had gone from being a star to being just another kid. Was she not getting enough attention?

I think a big mistake we made in Emma’s case was not to question Emma about the abuse. If someone had dug in to get her to explain every detail, I think her story probably would have fallen apart right away, but we treated her like the delicate, fragile, wounded child, and Phill and I didn’t question her, leaving it up to the professionals. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you know that both Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett and Suzie Mcgarvey both claimed that Emma would not talk about the abuse. There was nothing to talk about, so she started complaining about her Mother instead.

Anyway, what got me on this topic today, was thinking about the accusers of Donald Trump and the timing of the accusations. With the accusations coming out right before an election, it seems that there is some sort of agenda to these accusations. This really got me wondering about Emma and her agenda at the time. Was it just for attention? I’m sure Emma didn’t realize how much attention she would receive once all the local authorities got involved, the church, the police, the attorneys, the therapists, etc. Is that what Emma loved so much? Being the victim (volunteer) and being the center of attention because she was that poor child who’d been a victim of the crime of sexual abuse? Just how much attention does a child need?

Or did Emma need an excuse for failing her physics class? Emma had always been a good student, so failing a class would be a huge embarrassment to her. Saying she couldn’t focus on school because of repressed memories of sexual abuse suddenly appearing was a much better excuse than failing because she was spending too much time in chat rooms and writing letters to her pen-pal.

Emma lost the attention of the boy she liked, but got so much more attention once she announced she was the victim of sexual assault.

Emma didn’t have any close friends, so in claiming abuse she got a lot of “new friends” in the form of DFACS, social workers, therapists, police detectives, etc.

Anyway, so my thoughts were on Attention and Agendas today. I hope one day to learn just exactly why Emma choose to make up the abuse story. Since Emma claimed her sexual abuse was brought up because of repressed memories that came up when “Lacey” was raped and attempted suicide, and since was know “Lacey” WAS NOT raped and did not attempt suicide, was Emma already planning the sexual abuse story when she made up the rape story, or did she think that far ahead?  And, at the time of the rape story, Emma was very moody and rude to her dad, claiming he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. Phill likes to believe that Emma said these things because she was dealing with her repressed memories and was taking it out on him. I have to wonder if Emma was planning on accusing her dad of sexual abuse, but then couldn’t do it, so she chose the priest instead. One day, I hope we’ll have the answers to these questions.