Death of A Marriage, Part 2

Posted on July 18, 2017 by losingemma

Death of a Marriage (Part 2)

26 Years, 9 months, 14 days.

My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

I have thought that maybe Phill and I could have survived Emma’s problems or his midlife crisis, but it appears we couldn’t survive both at the same time.

For nearly 27 years, Phill told me almost daily how happy he was being married, being married to me, how much he loved me, etc. Yes, it sounds corny, but he did. I felt the same way. I guess in some ways, even with all the hell Phill put me through, letting Emma divide us when we should have been united and dealing with her issues together, in some ways I was luckier than a lot of people. For almost 27 years, I had a very happy marriage, happier than most, I think. I loved my husband more and more because I thought after 27 years I knew what kind of man he had proven to be. Ok, I was wrong, but I still loved him. We had disagreements, but probably only had heated arguments a handful of times in nearly 27 years. We got along well and loved each other, and we had a lot of fun, just being together. Phill could always make me laugh, and that was one of the things I loved about him. He couldn’t tell a joke to safe his life. He could never get the punchline right, or he would leave out some key element of the story, but Phill was very funny in other ways. He’s quick witted and good at puns. He also does a great Bob Dylan impersonation, but he is usually too self-conscious to do it for anyone but me.

I’ve wondered about this; do I say I was married 26 years? Or do I say I was married 27 years. The divorce was final just before our 28^th anniversary, so I guess I could say 27 years, but Phill had the sheriff’s department come and throw me out of our home about 2 1/2 months before our 27^th anniversary, so that would make it 26 years. I don’t know how other people count the years of their failed marriages. Do you count the time you were together or the total time up until the divorce is final?

Well, just to keep it simple, I will say 26 years. How do you describe 26 years of a failed marriage? I’m not sure. We were happy. We were very happy. Phill told me everyday that he loved me, and especially in the later years talked about the times we would have together when we were retired, after Emma was on her own. We looked forward to being together without everything being centered around Emma. We’d talked about working on our yard, taking a Master Garder’s course, getting a camper or RV and traveling when Phill retired. I was really looking forward to having some time with my husband again. We figured we’d get down to having just one dog, but Phill said I could still foster one and we could take it on the road with us, advertising that it was for adoption. I figured I’d have to go back to work for a few years when Emma started college, to help pay for it, but Emma managed just fine from what I heard, even getting a scholarship to Piedmont College in Demorest, Ga. (Wouldn’t you love to read her college application essay? I’m sure it must have been all about overcoming being an abused child.) I guess Emma gave up her scholarship when she moved to Ohio to live with Tyler’s family.

I guess that one mistake in our marriage after we had Emma was that everything was about Emma. We lived our lives around Emma. We didn’t have date nights, and in Emma’s 17 years, the only time we took a trip alone was when Emma went to church camp at Camp Mikell, and the week she went happened to fall on our 23^rd anniversary. Phill and I slipped off to Tybee Island, Ga for a few days alone and had a wonderful time! We were like excited kids who got to sneak out without the parents. We so enjoyed a few days being alone. As much as we loved Emma, we rarely got some time without her. This was true especially for me since I was the one that homeschooled her.

Something that happened that was kind of funny, on out last day at Tybee, we were packing up the car and then drove to Toccoa, Ga. For the camp performance and to pick up Emma, and we saw this couple in the parking lot of the condo where we stayed, also packing up. Then we saw the same couple at Camp Mikell. We stopped to talk to them, and they’d done the same thing—taken advantage of the kids going to camp to have some alone time!

*********************************************************************

As a young wife, I was very insecure about a lot of things. I was introverted and shy, and I remember thinking how awful it would be if your husband cheated on you. Funny. I had no idea how awful my husband could make my life. A little affair sounds kind of minor in the grand scheme of what I went through.

After years of marriage, I finally felt secure in my marriage. I trusted Phill and felt we were a team and we could get through almost anything together. Up until Phill started flying RC planes, we were never one of those couples who went separate ways on the weekend. We did almost everything together. Up until Phill started flying RC planes, he was pretty introverted just like I was, and we were homebodies. What little socializing we did was with people that I knew, as Phill didn’t really seem to make friends much up until he found his niche with the RC group. All of a sudden he was a big fish in a small pond.

If you read Death of a Marriage, I ended that post saying that Phill didn’t want the divorce, Emma did.

Emma was the one, going with Phill to meet with the attorney. Emma was the one who wanted the divorce from her mother, not Phill. Phill just didn’t know what to do, so he let Emma take over. Even his own attorney admitted this.

While going through the divorce, Emma was on face book bragging about doing the grocery shopping and doing household chores. All of a sudden, she was the woman of the house. She didn’t have any competition for her dad’s attention, and she could play up the sexually abuse and whatever else she made up. I have no doubt she did a lot of research on the internet so she could act out being a victim.

It was during this time that Phill’s midlife crisis hit head on. He had Emma at home, taking care of things there, so he could go off to RC events for a weekend, and not worry about who was taking care of the pets. He was also hanging out with some of his RC buddies who were teaching him how to brew beer. Phill had been interested in setting up a brewery at home, and he would go hang out with his RC buddies, drink beer and talk toy airplnes. It’s kind of funny because Emma was telling Tyler’s family that she wasn’t safe at home while her dad was on the road, but Phill had no trouble leaving Emma to go off for weekends. It was such a shock to me that Phill threw me out of our home on April 7, 2011, but had no trouble going off for a week to SEFF (Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Americus, Ga.) This was such a shock to me, how could Phill take off to fly toy airplanes when his family was falling apart? I don’t know where Emma was when Phill went to SEFF. I’m assuming she stayed with Judy and John Hall because Judy had been driving her to and from school until Phill took her to get her license. Phill had take out the TPO against me, so I’d lost my job of taking Emma to school. The school frowns on child abusers acting as chauffeurs for their abused children.

SEFF2011a

Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, SEFF, 2011

Emma had ruined Phill’s trip to SEFF the year before, so I guess that was why he was so determined to go. I was supposed to go with him, after I finished with the end of year program where I was working. I was supposed to drive down for the weekend, for the end of SEFF, before Phill came home, but Phill rescinded that invitation after he had me removed from our home.

(In 2010, SEFF occurred just after Emma had confessed to us that she had repressed memories of being sexually abused by the priest. She was supposed to go with Phill to SEFF and work as Jeff Meyer’s assistant, and Phill and I thought it would be good for her to get away from home and go. Once down there, Emma called me often. She hid out in the tent she and Phill had, and didn’t do what she was supposed to be doing as Jeff Meyer’s assistant. She was super paranoid that the priest was going to show up and find her for ratting him out. I consoled her over the phone several times, explaining there was no way the priest would know she was down in Americus Georgia for SEFF. He was not going to track her down and show up there. Also, the police were investigating him at that point, so he would have been pretty stupid to go anywhere near Emma.)

Even after Phill threw me out of our home, he tried to hug me, kiss me, hold me and told me he loved me. I was so devastated by what he did, I didn’t understand how he could act so affectionate when he threw me out of our home, and I wanted none of it.

If you know Phill, he is an easy-going guy, to the point of being passive. He just goes along with whatever everyone else is doing, so he let Emma take over the divorce. He wasn’t the one who wanted it, he still loved me, but after Emma took over, and Phill was deep into his midlife crisis, Phill was having too much fun to be married, traveling around the country flying RC planes, later getting a camper, etc. The single life was fun after nearly 27 years of the ball and chain, and there was too much water under the bridge for Phill to go back.

Meanwhile, while my husband was having his 2^nd childhood, I was investigating many of the lies Emma had told us the past few years, which was pretty near everything that came out of Emma’s mouth. A friend of mine, who was also a victim of Emma’s lies, put it quite simply:

Emma lied pretty much about everyone and everything.

She lied about the priest and being molested.

She lied about Phill, but you wouldn’t have it, so she started lying about you.

Phill was too weak to stand up to Emma, so she got her way.

The End.

That sums it up pretty well.

Of course, believing in my husband, I thought he would come to his senses once I uncovered so many of Emma’s lies, but Phill, being somewhat passive and non-confrontational, couldn’t deal with the truth, so he let Emma continue her lies. That’s my biggest disappointment in this whole thing. I know Emma is a hot mess. She was lying about so many things that I’m not sure she knows how to tell the truth, but Phill……………… I thought my husband was a better man. I always thought he would do the right thing. I always thought he would fight for his wife and for his family. I was wrong. It made Phill too uncomfortable to face the truth, so he just let Emma keep going. Add to that the fun of being single, traveling the country flying toy airplanes and drinking beer, and what more could a fellow want?

I don’t know enough about Emma’s issues to know if we could have helped her. If we’d gotten her some real therapy to face her lying issues, could we have helped her? I don’t know, and it’s probably too late now. Tyler will have to be the man that Emma’s dad wasn’t able to be.

Overall, Phill loved being married. When I would go away from home which wasn’t often, but when I did, the longer I was away, the harder it was to get off the phone with Phill. I would call him everyday, and we would talk, but the longer I was gone, the more he would talk and not let me hang up. It was very sweet and cute and only mildly annoying when I really had to get going because we were going out or something. Phill didn’t like being alone, and I knew, even with his talk about being “soulmates” that I would be easily replaced. Phill is easy-going and if you can hold a conversation, cook for him, and sleep with him, that would be pretty much all he requires. He is pretty easy to please. I had no doubt that Phill would re-marry. He doesn’t like being alone, and he’s really not picky, so if he’s not re-married already, he will be, and I’ll write down a few words of advice for Kim Chassion and Sydney Chassion at some point.

I knew Phill was a lot smarter than me, and would come out ahead in the divorce. Having recently bought a home, I had very little when I moved in, and Phill rented a storage unit and threw my things in there, in his passive aggressive way, and I went over and got a few things, and then had enough and quit. It is just some personal items, mostly books and diaries, things like that. After all, Phill has to make room for Kim Chassion’s things in my home.

Phill wouldn’t let me have anything I could actually use like furniture, dishes, linens, cookware… I’ve been buying used furniture for my home, and slowly acquiring things. I have to laugh when I think of all the little things I need like a garden hose, a rolling pin, baking sheets, etc. You don’t realize how many little things you have until you have no access to them. Phill won at the divorce, no doubt about that, but that’s ok. I’ve started over, and I’ll keep working on it. Phill may have all our things, and I hope Kim enjoys the desk he got me for my birthday, and my office chair, and that they enjoy wine out of the wine glasses Emma and Phill got me for my birthday one year, oh and that lamp on the nightstand on Kim’s side of the bed, that was a birthday gift one year, too. And when they walk out in the back yard and smell the wonderful gardenia bush and the roses out back, those were mother’s day gifts. And the little circle of bricks, down below the deck. That’s where three of my very special dogs were buried, so please take care of that place and keep flowers growing in there.

So, Emma, on April 14th 2011, when we went to see Suzie McGarvey for your therapy session and then for our family session was when you convinced Suzie McGarvey that you had to be separated from your mom. (Horrors! You were so abused!) Daddy and I had been married 26 years, 9 months, and 14 days. This was when Daddy really turned against me, even thought he didn’t throw me out until April 7^th. That means if you and Tyler can stay married until June 29^th, 2042, you will have outlasted your parent’s marriage. That would really be sticking it to your mom, wouldn’t it? Good luck with that! If you want to count up to April 7^th, that makes it 26 years, 10 months, and 8 days, so you can do the math on that one. Ohmigoodness, Tyler, I’m so sorry you got dragged into this family, but I did try to warn you.

So, from a lying, manipulative 17 year old, to a husband in his 2^nd childhood, my marriage didn’t stand a chance. My husband was too weak to stand up to his daughter, and when you let a 17 year old take over the family, well, it’s not a good thing.

A Letter From My Husband (Moved)

Posted on June 21, 2016 by losingemma

Note: I moved this post and re-titled it: Bradley D. Moody, Attorney at Law because I was working on some posts for Emma, and Mr. Moody’s poor timing, messed up the order in which I was doing things.

Happy Easter Emma

Posted on March 26, 2016 by losingemma

20130430_247a

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Buchheim, Katie Buchheim, Katie Smith, Sophie Buchheim, Emma Kate Roey, Katherine Smith……….. so many names……

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Happy Easter, Emma! Your first married Easter! I hope it is wonderful.

I was watching a young lady take her first driver’s test the other day, and got to thinking about you when you started driving, getting your permit, taking your driver’s test…. Funny how Daddy said you couldn’t get your driver’s license until you were 18, but he had to back down on that, didn’t he? After all, he couldn’t have Judy and John Hall driving you to school all that time.

I was so shocked when you failed your permit test. Did you not study at all? Did you go through the test too quickly? That just wasn’t like you. You were always so confident, I know you weren’t nervous. But, eventually you finally did pass, and that’s what counts.

When we were teaching you, I thought you were going to be a good little driver, but Daddy probably rushed that a bit from what I heard about all your accidents and totaling your cars. Were they just accidents, or were you using your cell phone or texting? I know how you are, and just because we have rules, doesn’t mean you will follow them. You probably needed more practice, or to take a good course. I sure hope you are a safe driver now that you have a few years of experience under your belt. And as your mom, you know I worry about you texting and driving because that’s something I can picture you doing most definitely.

Lately, I’ve been thinking of some of your funny stories, and have so many I want to ad to the blog. You sure told some good ones! I have just been so busy, it is hard to sit down and write.

Oh, BTW, I asked Daddy for my desk quite some time ago, and he never gave it to me. Do me a favor and ask him about it? I could use it. I could use a lot of other things that he owes me, but we’ll worry about that later. I keep hoping he’ll move in with his new girlfriend, Kim Chassion, and want to bring me some of my things. I could use him to do a few things around the house too. You know, since he took my home, he should have fixed up where I’m living with the things I need (shelves, lights, ceiling fans, etc.)

Stay safe! I hope the Easter Bunny is good to you!

Love, Mom

Emma Getting Married—A Mother’s thoughts

Posted on August 15, 2015 by losingemma

Emma and fiance Tyler Albert Buchheim.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

For those of you attending Emma’s wedding, I hope everyone knows it is still Sept. 19, 2015, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, CA. Gee, I feel sorry for the people who go their plane tickets already  (wink wink) Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s an Ohio wedding?

In 2012, I heard Emma was engaged to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student from West Chester Township, Ohio, who attended Notre Dame University and whom Emma had met on line. I had mixed feelings. She was 19, and too young and immature to be engaged, and Tyler was her first boyfriend, but I was also saddened, no, heartbroken, that I didn’t hear about Emma meeting Tyler, falling in love, etc. from Emma. I felt like in addition to all I’d missed with Emma starting college, I’d missed hearing about something else that was so special in Emma’s life. She’s my daughter, and even with all the horrible things she’s done, I do love her, and I want to see her happy and to have a normal life, even though now I don’t think that is possible. Emma will never have a “normal” life.

I was sad at the thought of missing all the wedding things with Emma like seeing her walk down the aisle to marry the man she loves, helping her with arrangements, going dress shopping, attending her shower, etc.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Of course, later on, I was to find out that there was no engagement, according to Tyler’s mom, Sherry Buchheim, who e-mailed me several times and told me that Tyler was not ready to get in engaged, etc. Who knows, maybe Sherry was lying to cover up for Emma. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. I still find it odd that a family from Ohio would let their son’s girlfriend move from Georgia to Ohio, to move in with the boyfriend’s grandparents, if the relationship was not fairly serious. They’d even taken Emma on vacation to Hilton Head and even had professional pictures made of Emma and Tyler.

I felt obligated to warn Tyler’s family about what they were getting into, and saw no point in e-mailing a young man who was in love. Who would he believe? His girlfriend? Or her mother whom he’d never met? Instead, I contacted Tyler’s mother, Sherry Buchheim, and told her briefly what Emma had done. I gave her my name, address, phone number and e-mail address and told her I would be happy to answer any questions she might have. (I’ve already written about this, so dear readers, you can go back and read about “Bud the Boyfriend” to get the full story about Emma and Tyler Buchheim.) I knew that Emma marrying anyone was going to be a disaster.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Now, when I think about Emma getting married, it just makes me sad for her. What kind of marriage can she have? But then again, I am glad Emma’s getting married. She won’t be able to hide her crazy (with apologies to Miranda Lambert—I love that song!) forever, and once the newness and excitement wears off, and the young groom is close to Emma, living with her day in and day out, her husband is going to see that something’s not right. Eventually, the marriage will end in disaster, but of course, nothing will be Emma’s fault.

I was discussing this with a friend, who knew Emma a few years ago, and I guess after everything Phill and Emma put me through, I’ve come a long way. I was telling her that I don’t even feel like I’m missing anything by not attending Emma’s wedding because I feel like the whole thing is such a farce. Her marriage is just the countdown until the first divorce. Or, as my friend put it, it’s the countdown until the next train wreck.

Emma will have her wedding day, her pretty dress, her handsome groom, her wedding gifts, her honeymoon, and she will be the star of the show. But just wait until Act Two.

Special thanks to Face in Hole for the fun website! Emma and I used to do those Jib Jab things where you put the face in (or the dog’s face!) and when I saw this site, I thought this was the kind of thing we would have sat there and played with, laughing hysterically as we made funny pictures.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. This one reminds me of Hillary Clinton. Sorry, Emma, I know you would hate that comparison! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Turns 21 Years Old!

Posted on December 19, 2014 by losingemma

Emma Katherine Roey
Born: Dec. 19, 1993
6lbs. 12oz.
7:34 AM
19 1/2″ long

Emma Turns 21!
(NOTE: It was important to me to write on Emma’s birthday, even though I had a terrible headache, so if you read this post on Dec. 19th, I have gone back an re-written, edited it, etc., with a little clearer head, but again, I was in a hurry this morning, Dec. 20th, so I may need to do some more.)
Twenty-one years ago today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Wow. Things certainly didn’t turn out anything like I expected! I wanted to spend the day writing about that wonderful day that Emma came into the world, but I’ve been busy with work and with the holidays, so I’m just going to share a few thoughts, and maybe one day later, I’ll write about Emma’s birth. In any event, I hope Emma has a wonderful 21st birthday. Maybe her dad got her an expensive piece of jewelry that she wanted, a new iphone, or the hair removal laser treatments she wanted if she didn’t get them when she graduated high school. Maybe she’s out with her other mom, Sandra Brooks McCravy, or if her friends Kayla Benifield Weaver (and husband Blair) or Abbey Benito are home from Armstrong College in Savannah, Ga., and Anderson University, Anderson, S.C., respectively, and Emma will get to socialize a bit. I wonder if Emma is having her favorite cheesecake instead of birthday cake. Phill used to make banana pudding for my birthday, and we’d always pick up a cheesecake for Emma’s. She much preferred that over birthday cake.
I was thinking about the young people I know that are around Emma’s age. I think most of us will agree that 21 is not grown up. Most of us didn’t feel grown up until we were about 30 and most 21 year olds are still living off mom and dad. I do know a couple of young people who went through some technical programs, got jobs, apartments, etc., and are living on their own, but not many. A lot of kids, like Emma, lack the maturity to do so, and some kids are working on career paths that take much longer, so they are supported by mom and dad while they work on their degrees.
They say a mother’s work is never done. I’ve certainly found that to be true! As a mother, I’m going to hold Emma accountable for her actions. I gave her the opportunity to keep this between her dad and me, and I would have taken down the blog, but Emma chose not to take that path, so I will continue researching, investigating, taking notes, and writing the blog. There are many things I haven’t written about because I don’t want Emma to know everything I know. Some information I should probably hold on to for a while, and I will write about it when the time is right. You can bet though, as long as Emma is going around lying, and accusing me of crimes, I’m going to be behind the scenes collecting information.
Who expects their child to grow up and do horrible things and hurt people? Sadly, I’ve met many parents who’ve been through something similar with their own children, and as one mom said to me, “I didn’t raise him that way.” I certainly agree. Phill and I didn’t raise Emma to be a liar. Of course we didn’t even know how much Emma had lied about until much, much later.
Emma’s dad refuses to discuss Emma with me and has no answer as to why she claims I poisoned her with DDT. In fact, I can only contact Phill on matters related to the divorce or he has threatened to block me from e-mails and texts. Kind of pathetic, I know. Phill knows how much Emma has lied, and he knows she’s lying about being abused, being sexually molested, and about being poisoned with DDT. He knows about all the lies I’ve mentioned in the blog. When Emma made up crazy stories about her friend, Kayla Benifield Weaver, Kayla’s grandparents, and Kayla’s mom, Sheree Barwise, I told Phill about them at the time, so he’s aware of Emma’s long history of lying. She’s daddy’s little girl though, and he’s going to stay in denial as long as he can.
This blog isn’t about Phill though. As, I said earlier, I intend to hold Emma accountable. If she wants to be estranged from her mother, that is her choice. I’ve talked to many parents of estranged children. Some of these kids grew up in difficult circumstances, and others, like Emma, had pretty uneventful childhoods with two parents who loved them, but for whatever reason, needed some kind of drama and turned their parents into the villains in their lives and blame them for every problem they have. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of this out there whether it is because of the entitlement generation, mental illness, or what have you.
If Emma wanted to discuss any real problems we had in our family, I’m perfectly fine with that. I can certainly own up to the fact that I made mistakes as a parent. BUT, as long as Emma is going to accuse me of abuse and of attempted murder, and accuse a priest of sexually molesting her,, I will leave no stone unturned. I will keep writing and keep investigating. Emma had the opportunity to deal with me once and move on. Now she will be dealing with me for the rest of my life. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get anywhere near Emma. She already filed a police report claiming a car that looked like mine pulled into the driveway and sat on a night she knew I was at a neighbor’s home down the street (and fortunately I had friends follow me into the subdivision and follow me out because we all suspected she might do something like that. I will know everything I can about Emma from afar.
As a parents, our job was to raise Emma to be a decent human being. Obviously, we failed at that, and it’s a little late to send her to her room for a time-out, but as long as Emma is hurting other people, I will be around. Should she ever accuse someone again of hurting her, sexually molesting her, etc., I will be the first one to step forward with all the documentation of Emma’s lies. This little girl has cried “Wolf” one too many times.
In any event, Happy Birthday Emma. I hope it was all worth it.
Love, Mom

Emma Gets a Dog!

Posted on November 28, 2014 by losingemma

Emma’s Gets a Dog

Emma with foster dog, Sam, who was adopted by Sandra Brooks McCravy and Greg McCravy, Lawrenceville, Ga.

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

In 2012, after Emma moved to Ohio, Phill was enjoying the single life. He worked, going out of town during the week and bought a camper so he could attend RC airplane events such as SEFF, Joe Nall, etc. when he wasn’t working. He had reconnected with an old girlfriend from college as well. He could come and go as he pleased without the responsibility of a family. Since he had me removed from our home, he had the house and all our possessions. He didn’t have to worry about moving, finding a job, finding a place to live, not having furniture, bedding, clothes, pots and pans, etc. Life was good.

Phill had one of our two dogs, and I had the other, only because I could not have two dogs where I was living. With Emma gone, Phill made our 12 year old house dog a yard dog and left him outside 24 hours a day while he was out of town. At this time, I didn’t know Emma had moved to Ohio, so I didn’t know how our poor dog was living. Some neighbors later told me that they would go up to see him when Phill was gone. They were very concerned about this poor dog being left alone so much and suddenly being left outside in the extreme weather when he wasn’t used to it.

Phill decided the dog was too much bother, so he contacted me and told me I needed to come up with someplace for the dog to go. With the help of a couple of friends, Spike lived at a kennel until I was able to keep him, and I went to the kennel to walk him every day that I could. It wasn’t a great life, but he was fed and warm and got more attention from the kennel employees than he got at home. Also, if you know Emma’s history, this was the dog she physically abused and was cruel to, so as much as I didn’t want him living in a kennel, it was a safer place for him to be.

When I was removed from my home, we also had a foster dog, and at the time, Phill told the director of the rescue that he and Emma might adopt the dog, but he would not have been allowed to adopt the dog. That dog also went to a kennel until I took it with me to my sister’s in CT., and he was adopted up north. He got a wonderful home, and I am thankful I still her from his mom, so I get to keep up with him. Oddly though, before saying he wanted to adopt the dog, Phill claimed our neighbor (I’m assuming it was Judy Hall.) complained that the little dog (a Rat Terrier/mix) jumped up and bit her on the “ass” when she came over to let him out. The director of the rescue thought this sounded like an odd statement, and when she and I discussed it, both of us knowing how timid this dog was, it just didn’t sound like something he would do. This dog had been mauled by a large dog and nearly killed. He very, very shy, and it had taken months for him to come out of his shell even a little bit. He never showed any signs of aggression towards people or other animals. At the time, we thought Phill wanted to get rid of the dog, so he made up the “bite” story, and then later on he said he wanted to adopt him? Very strange.

Emma and foster dog, Willie, who was happy to sit with her while she worked on her homeschooling.

In Sept. of 2013, after discovering Emma’s lying about his family, Emma’s boyfriend, “Bud” broke up the relationship, and sent Emma packing. She headed home to daddy with her tail between her legs. (Sorry, couldn’t resist since this IS a dog story.)

How I found out about Emma’s little dog is more a story about Phill, but it is interesting, so I will share it here.

For over 10 years, I have volunteered with a dog/cat rescue, fostering dogs in my home (up until the divorce) and going to a local PetsMart on Saturdays to help with adoptions, doing home visits, running errands, helping with fundraisers, etc. For most of that time, Emma also volunteered and went with me to PetsMart on Saturdays. Every Saturday, I’d leave the house at the same time to go to PetsMart.

On Sat., June 28 2014, two days before what would have been our 30th wedding anniversary, Phill showed up at PetsMart. I happened to be working that day, so I missed it, but one of our volunteers, M., who knew Phill quite well, was the one to tell me about it. Since Phill often brought Emma and I lunch when we were volunteering, and sat and ate with us, he saw M. almost as much as we did, and he considered her a friend just as much as I did. He did computer work for M., and she’d been to our home for holiday dinners and such.

M. was setting up for adoptions with another volunteer and she looked up to see Phill standing before her, nervous and sweating profusely. She said he asked if I was around, and she told him I was working. Phill said something about us not getting along well, and M. turned and walked away. M. was there the day Phill showed up with Emma in the car and tried to get me to come out to the car to talk to him so that I would violate the Temporary Protective Order he had taken out on me. She had no respect for Phill and wanted nothing to do with him. Our other volunteer had known Phill and Emma as well, and was also shocked to see Phill show up at PetsMart. Later, M. saw him walking through the store with a baby gate.

Phill knew exactly when I would be at PetsMart. As M. and I talked that night, we wondered why in the world Phill showed up at PetsMart when the odds were that I would be there. Phill could have gone to numerous other PetsMarts such as the one in Winder, Flowery Branch, or the Pet Co. about ¼ mile down the road. He could have gone to a WalMart in Winder, Hamilton Mill, Buford, or any other Walmart between his work at UPS in Doraville and home in Hoschton, as Walmat sells baby gates too. Why did he decide to come to that PetsMart on the day when I would be there. He could have gone early in the morning, knowing what time we set up, so he wouldn’t have had the chance to run into me, so why did he come then? When I was working on the 1st draft of writing this post, I sent it to Phill, and he e-mailed me that he had heard that the director of the rescue had quit, so he didn’t think we would be there. What is so funny about this statement is that all he had to do was to go on the website and he would have known that the director AND the rescue were still going strong, so I’m calling B.S! Nice try, Phill.

M. did not realize that it was two days before what would have been our 30th anniversary, and when I told her she felt that that must have been the reason, that Phill wanted to drive that knife a little deeper into my heart by showing up right before our anniversary. Since then, I’ve talked to a few other armchair psychologists, as well as a couple of professionals, and the consensus seems to be that Phill wanted to see me with his own eyes for some reason. Being a man, it probably had nothing to do with our anniversary. Phill probabaly didn’t even realize that it was our anniversary. True. He got my birthday wrong on the year I turned 30, and at that point we’d been married for 6 years! We both had forgotten our anniversaries before, but I didn’t think much of that because with his schedule, unless it was a big year, we didn’t do much for our anniversaries anyway. For our 23rd we’d taken a trip to Tybee for a few days, but that was only because Emma happened to be at camp that same week. (And boy was she mad when she found out we went to Tybee Island without her!) Other than a trip to Tybee one year, and splurging on a bottle of Dom Perrion for our 20th, we didn’t do much for our anniversaries. We had talked about a trip for our 30th, and I was looking forward to doing something special for it, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

Later, someone sent me a picture (Thank you, whoever you are.) of Emma’s little dog, Arya, and it is quite cute. I’m surprised she didn’t get something more aggressive though, since she claims to be in danger when her dad is out of town for work and she is home alone. A German shepherd or a Pit Bull might have been more appropriate.

Fortunately for Emma’s little dog, it’s got a great yard to run around in. When we bought the house, I insisted on fencing the back yard. We had two acres and about an acre of it is fenced. It was great when Emma was growing up because it was a woodsy yard, and it didn’t worry me if Emma got out of sight. Phill and I figured that would be our last home, and I knew I would always have dogs, so we put up a 5 ft. chain link fence. It was really wonderful to have. (Emma’s old dog just has a little area about 10 x 15 ft fenced, but hey, we make do with what we have.) Part of the yard was open, and when I took some agility classes with one of our dogs, Phill got into building me some equipment. I’m not sure why, as I did not plan to compete in agility, as it can get quite expensive, it was just something fun to try. He was so enthused about it, I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t something I really wanted. Maybe it’s that guy thing about men and power tools. Well, as it turned out, even after I stopped going to agility, I loved having the equipment because our dogs, as well as our foster dogs enjoyed doing the runs and jumps. Unfortunately, Phill didn’t finish the wood properly, and it all fell apart after a few years.

The a-frame Phill built for the dogs in the backyard of our Deer Creek home in Hoschton. Phill Roey. Emma Roey

I would love to know what the professionals think about Phill coming to PetsMart when he knew I would more than likely be there, to buy a babygate? I wonder what Dr. Richard Brown (Applied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.) , Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment and Counseling, Duluth, Ga.) , and Suzie McGarvey North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Suwanee, Ga., Lanier Counseling, Buford, Ga.) all think? But then, to be honest, I’d rather have the opinion of someone whom I consider to be a little more professional.

The Girl Who Would Be Me

Posted on September 9, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma at Old Rhinebeck Aerodome in Rhinebeck NY, 2006

The NEW Woman of the House (The Girl Who Would Be Me)

Just before and right after being removed from my home, we started what I jokingly called the “Emma Dates Her Dad” period. (And since I get asked this all the time, let me just stay that no, I never thought there was anything incestuous going on between Emma and her dad. Up until Emma figured out how much power she had by claiming to be abused, she was always a mommy’s girl. Phill was always a little envious that Emma always wanted to be with me, wanted to talk to me, to confide in me, etc, but they had a pretty good relationship. Emma frequently made fun of her dad for being a geek, or dorky or whatever, and occasionally I got on to her when she got a little mean, but they got along well.)

While I sat home alone one night, Phill went over to the home of Randall and Cora Andrews, the neighbors who lived behind us, to sit out and drink beer. It was Randall and Cora, John and Judy Hall, whom Emma was staying with that night, and Phill. He told me later that the Hoschton mayor, Erma Denney, who was another neighbor who lived behind us, stopped by. As I knew Erma and had helped her with a rescue dog she had found, I’m sure Phill must have found it a little awkward to explain to the mayor where his wife was.

While I was out of town so Emma could be home for Spring Break, Phill and Emma, in addition to seeing a divorce lawyer, were going out on the town, to the Atlanta Aquarium, out to eat, to movies, etc. Just a fun family stay-cation for the abused child while Emma was on Spring Break. As I mentioned earlier, I was hurt when I found out they went to the Aquarium as we had talked about doing that as a family.

Emma began posting things on her facebook about all the chores she was doing at home (essentially my chores). In one post she bragged about how quickly she got the dishes out of the dishwasher and put them away. This was kind of funny because Emma could take 30-40 minutes to put the dishes away. One day, out of curiosity, I timed myself and told Emma that it took me 7 ½ minutes to casually put the dishes away, so there was no reason for her to take so long. Of course, when Emma made her facebook post, her time was under 7 minutes. As much as she hated me, she WAS me!

Emma bragged about taking care of the dogs and the guinea pig and posted something about all the furry creatures fed and taken care of.

Emma wrote about the first time she played piano for our new church, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga. I was heartbroken that I was not there to hear her. I guess that was my payback for all those years of driving her to piano lessons!

She also posted a picture of her on a swing at church, looking up at the sky, and said something about how bigger churches may have all this stuff, but our church had a swing. That one was a little odd, but she looked pretty and sweet, like a good Christian girl looking towards the heavens.

Phill wrote about going out to a bar or restaurant where one of his RC buddies played in a band and posted a picture of Emma standing there listening to the music. I remember his comment, “A good time was had by all.” At the time, I wondered if that was deliberately to try and hurt me, an attempt to show how much fun he and his daughter were having without the evil mom.

Phill also took Emma white water rafting and posted the pictures on facebook. Again, this was something I had talked about doing with the church youth group, and I was heartbroken not to go with my family.
Phill let Emma skip a week of school to go with him to SEFF (Southeastern Electric Flight Festival) in Americus, Ga. After all, with all the pressure of being an abused child, she needed a little vacation.

Emma posted about going out to dinner and eating steak with other UPS drivers and their wives that we we occasionally met for dinner: Randall and Cora Andrews, Tim and Elizabeth Hince, Carl and Connie Lehman, Tommy and Dennise Thompson, Kevin and Jocelyn O’Gorman.

Phill had not wanted Emma to get her driver’s license until she was 18, but with the evil mother out of the house, he needed her to be able to get to school, so he reversed his decision on this and let Emma get her license and bought her a car. When she totaled that car, he bought her another, and I heard from a neighbor that Emma totaled the 2nd car, too.

Once Emma had her driver’s license, she posted on facebook about her trips to the grocery store.

So many of Emma’s posts about all the chores she was doing were kind of humorous. Emma was the child who could take 3 hours to do a 5 minute chore, but now that she was running the household, it was different!

I’m not sure how Facebook works, but in the relationship section, where you have your husband, sisters, daughter, etc., next to Emma on my Facebook, it said “Pending,” so I guess that is what you do when you remove a relationship.

Emma then removed me as well as my sister and her to girls (Emma’s cousins) from her Facebook and blocked all of us so that we could not see anything she did. As one of my nieces put it, “It is her loss.”

In June, we had a trip planned with my sister and one of my nieces who was coming from CO. Emma was really looking forward to rooming with her cousin, but it ended up being me, my sister, and my neice who went on the trip, as Emma did not go.

After Emma removed me, I removed Phill from my Facebook. It was all just too painful.

During that summer of 2011, I went up and stayed with my sister and brother-in-law in Ct. for a couple of months. They were a lot of support while the divorce was going on. Somewhere in there, I got copies of all the e-mails Emma sent to “Lacey.” And I let Phill know. I expected Emma to ‘fess up, knowing that I had a stack of lies that she’d written, and that my attorney was talking to “Lacey’s” parents about Emma’s claim that “Lacey” was raped and had attempted suicide. Phill took Emma up to visit his mother in Brick, New Jersey, and I half expected him to show up and apologize, but to this day, Phill has no answer as to why Emma claimed “Lacey” was raped and attempted suicide. I’ve pointed out all the other lies Emma told such as “Lacey’s” mother in the hospital, with breast cancer, Emma accusing me of poisoning her with DDT, Emma’s story about babysitting the priest’s two boys and having to call 911 when the older son got out of control, Emma’s story about being drug searched at school, etc., etc., etc., and Phill refuses to talk about Emma with me. I am not allowed to call, as he will not speak to me. He threatens to block my e-mails or texts if I contact him about anything other than the alimony being late (which it is frequently) or picking up my things (which he still has).

In 2012, one of Phill’s friends sent me some photos just to let me know what was going on. Unfortunately, I looked at them and deleted them. Of course, now I wish I’d saved them, but oh, well!

Sometime, in 2012, Phill was confirmed at Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga., by Father George Ivey and there was a nice picture of Phill kneeling at the altar. Emma was about 12 when Phill was baptized by the priest that Emma would later accuse of sexually molestation. She had really hounded Phill about getting baptized. It was more important to her than it was to him. I’m guessing that she hounded him about getting confirmed as well.

I’ve occasionally wondered what Emma’s collection of therapists would say about Emma accusing the priest who baptized her dad of sexual molestation. Emma wanted her dad baptized so badly, and yet she accuses the priest of a crime. It seems like a decent psychologist might have something interesting to say about all that. (Dr. Richard Born (Allied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.), Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.), Suzie McGarvey (Lanier Counseling, now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) , Rachel Hutchinson, Emily Kirby, Candace Whitman, Tamesha (Social Empowerment Center, Lawrenceville, Ga.) Heather Thompson (Jefferson High School), etc., etc.

Also in 2012, Emma threw her Dad a surprise birthday party. Since there was a picture of her and her friend, Abbey Benito, in with the party pictures at our home, I’m assuming Abbey helped Emma with the party.

Abbey Benito was a friend of Emma’s from the homeschool arts program that we were involved in. She was in Emma’s class and a lovely girl. Abbey was tall, quiet, well-behaved, and quite an artist who almost always had a sketch pad in her hand. I remember Abbey’s mom, Donna Benito, telling me that ever since she was little, Abbey liked to draw and it was something she did all the time. One semester, I worked as an assistant to one of the art teachers, and Abbey was in one of the drawing classes. I always enjoyed seeing her work. I think between her gift and all her years of practice, she was such a talented artist and now attends Anderson University in Anderson, S.C.

When I started teaching at the arts program, my first class was a Wire Jewelry class. I had never taught a class like this before, and working with kids was challenging, but I really enjoyed it. I felt like I learned as much from the kids as they did from me. Abbey was in my very first class, but she did not do well at it. Wire Jewlery can take a little time to get the hang of, and I don’t think Abbey got it as first. There was another young lady who had a difficult time, but this girl stuck with it and ended up taking pretty much all my classes and doing very, very well.

Unfortunately, I may have neglected Abbey a little bit. It was my first time teaching, and it was difficult with the kids constantly calling out and asking me for help. Abbey was so quiet and never asked for help, so I had to make an effort to check on her as she struggled in class. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and I felt like I probably did not give Abbey enough attention. Later on, Emma seemed to enjoy telling me that Abbey did not like my class. Emma did not mind when I worked as an aid at the program, but when the director asked me about teaching, Emma was not happy with me. I think she got jealous that the kids liked me, I was the “cool” teacher, my class was fun etc. I felt very blessed to be teaching a class the kids did NOT have to take. The kids that took my class were there because they wanted to be there. At first, it was only girls, but later on, I got a few boys, too. The very first time I had a young man sign up for my class, it was a young man who had a friend in one of my classes, and he often stopped by the class room. One day, he asked if he could sit in on a class with his friend, and I told him if he was going to do that, he was going to work, and I had him start a project. Later on, I teased him that he signed up for my class just because he didn’t want to take what else was offered that period, and he told me that no, he thought my class was fun. He ended up doing being a very good student and did some fine work.

I enjoyed being the “fun” teacher, and at the end of the semester, we had “Parent’s Night” where we displayed the kids’ work for all the parents to see. The director of the arts program was always pleased with the work my kids turned out, and I was very happy with my job. I worked there for 7 years, and I am sad to say that because of Emma, I will never work with children again. During the divorce and while I was working on going back to work, I wanted to volunteer with kids. I remembered how much Emma loved reading, and I always wanted to do something like tutor kids who needed help with reading. There’s just something magical about seeing a kid who discovers reading. I am sad to say, that due to the fact that my daughter has accused me of abuse, I will NEVER volunteer with children ever again.

One day, I came home and sat down to eat with Phill and Emma and was telling them something one of the kids had said about how much they liked my class, and Emma just looked at me and said, “Mom, they hate their own mothers too.”

Just a side note, when Emma first accused me of abuse , somehow, word got to the director of the arts program, and when we started back to classes in Jan. , the director took me aside to tell me she’d heard about Emma’s accusation. I’m just assuming that Sandra Brooks McCravy (who had taken her boys out of the arts program because she was unhappy there) had told a mutual acquaintance, probably our friend Rita Carlton who also worked at the arts program, and I’m assuming that Rita told the director.

The director of the arts program told me that because of Emma accusing me of child abuse, I would have to have someone else, another adult, in my class to supervise me. I guess to make sure I didn’t go postal and kill the kids in my class. It was Donna Benito who came in to “babysit” me that first week back. After that, I guess the director decided I didn’t need a sitter, and although it was embarrassing and humiliating, I got through it.

Anyway, back to Phill’s birthday party. Phill’s birthday is March 21st, but if I remember right, the part was on March 18, 2012. That would have been a Sunday. I guess the party could have been on March 17. That’s neither here nor there.

The party was a small gathering with Emma and Abbey Benito. John and Judy Hall were there, as well as Phill’s UPS partner Carl Lehmann and his wife, Connie, and one of Phill’s RC buddies, but I can’t remember his name.

Emma had gotten Phill an Angry Birds cake for his birthday, and I wasn’t surprised, as he was always into video games. It was cute.

It was March 14th, 2011, when Emma wanted to leave the family and go live in a group home, and everything went to pieces. Phill’s birthday for 2011 kind of go overlooked with all the Emma drama, but I wondered if Emma got Phill one of the gifts I’d planned on giving him. We’d been out in Jefferson, Ga., and saw some windsocks outside a local store. There was a really cute one of a red bi-plane, and I had planned on getting that for Phill because of his RC plane obsession, but with all the Emma drama, I never got back there.

Anyway, those are just some examples of Emma’s new life being the Alpha Female in charge of the house hold. I am out of time tonight dear readers, and will reread and edit when I have some time, but I was just trying to get some thoughts down.

Coming up next, I want to write about Emma’s first boyfriend and her move to Ohio!

As always, please contact me if you have any questions: losingemma@gmail.com

The Rewards of Being a Victim

Posted on August 26, 2014 by losingemma

The Rewards of Being a Victim

Before Phill took out the Temporary Protective Order, to have me removed from my home, we had to come up with places for Emma to stay. After all, she wanted to go live in a group home. My thought was that she needed to live in a group home and to see what it’s like for kids who didn’t have it as good as she did. Let her meet kids who really were abused or who came from bad situations. Emma’s life would look like the life of a princess compared to some of these kids. She had two parents who loved her and she was allowed to do almost anything she wanted (within reason). She never lacked for food, clothes, or a warm bed. Of course once, when Emma and I got into an argument over something she wanted (I can’t remember what it was now.) and she didn’t get her way, she got angry and screamed at me, “YOU HAD ME! YOU OWE ME!” At the time, I thought it was a pretty ugly thing to say, but we all say things we don’t mean in anger. Emma said a lot of ugly things over the years, but for some reason, this one stuck with me probably more than any other. It sort of haunted me, and it still does. I’m sad to say that I really felt like this was in insight into Emma’s world. Emma felt like we owed her.

When Emma stayed with friends and neighbors, she got treated like a beloved guest with dinners, plays, clothes, trips to the beauty shop, etc. After all, who wouldn’t want to do something nice for a poor abused child who was beaten and poisoned by her mother? Emma made out like a bandit. I will share about some of the people Emma stayed with, and how Emma took advantage. I’m sure I only know a few of the rewards Emma collected. There’s probably a lot more that I don’t know.

From what Phill told me, Emma mostly stayed with our neighbors, John and Judy Hall, but she also stayed with some other neighbors, Randall and Cora Andrews, and one of Phill’s RC plane buddies and his wife, Mike and Wendy Timms who lived not far from us in Hoschton, but now live in Dacula, Ga. Since Emma didn’t want to see me, I didn’t always know where she was. Phill just told me what he wanted to.

Judy worked part time for salon in Brasleton, and the one time I got to see Emma, sitting in the van, she’d had her hair done. Since about 9th grade, Emma frequently used a straight iron on her hair, and it was very straight, cut in layers and looked very pretty. Phill told me that Emma had wanted to get her hair cut, but I wouldn’t let her. Well, as you can see from this photo, that’s not true.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy at a taping of the Sean Hannity Show.

Judy was a petite lady, but because of some health problems, she put on some weight, and she gave Emma a bunch of clothes. Emma always was a clothes horse, so from what Phill told me, she was thrilled about that.

At first, the Hall’s were driving Emma to school, and I think Phill was paying them to at least cover gas money. Emma had a permit, but Phill did not want Emma to get her driver’s license until she was 18. Funny thing was, once he got rid of his wife, he let Emma go ahead and get her license so she could drive herself. From what some of the neighbors told me, she then totaled two cars and she may have gotten a ticket in New Jersey. She had failed the test for her permit the first time, so I’ve often wondered how she did on her driver’s test. With her dad being a truck driver, you’d think she would have had plenty of lessons, but I missed this milestone in my daughter’s life, so I really don’t know how she did on the driving test.

When John and Judy went out of town, Emma stayed with our neighbors, Cora and Randall Andrews who lived behind us, and across the street from Judy and John Hall. Randall worked with Phill at UPS and was the union steward until he fell on the job and if I remember right, damaged both rotator cuffs. Randall was a hard worker, and when he wasn’t at UPS, he did tractor work on the side. After winning a settlement with UPS, Randall became a truck driving instructor. Since his wife was a teacher, he liked to joke that they were both teachers. Cora stayed home with the kids when they were little and then went back to teaching P.E. and also went back to school to get her Ph.D. in P.E. She then became a coach at Jackson County Commprehensive High School.

Phill was a big help to Cora when she was working on her Ph.D. He helped her with computer work, and Cora even thanked him in her dissertation. Phill got a kick out of that she mentioned him, but didn’t even mention her husband in her acknowledgement.

Randall and Cora had two boys who Emma played with when she was little, but once the kids started school, they didn’t see much of each other. When the kids were little, we helped each other out, occasionally watching each other’s kids. Phill and I even kept the boys when Randall had a heart attack and was in the hospital.

When Emma started high school at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she never had anything nice to say about her former playmates. She claimed they always looked high or looked to be on something at school. Knowing how involved the boys were in school, and how involved their parents were, I didn’t believe this for a minute. I’m sure they boys weren’t perfect angels, but they both were very involved in sports and other school activities. Since Emma claimed she often saw them looking this way in the morning when she went to school, I suspected they might have been sleepy because it was early in the morning and with sports and homework, they were probably short on sleep. Emma went on and on about them and I remember at one point she tried to convince me that the younger son had a reputation for partying and using drugs. Both of these boys went on to college, and the younger son turned down an appointment to West Point to go to UGA and even got some scholarship money.

Emma also talked about Cora (Dr. Andrews) when she went to JCCHS. Emma had a coach named Coach Beaver for P.E. and Freshman Focus class. Coach Beaver, according to Emma, also moonlighted as a cop in Statham, Ga., and would tell the kids about all the drug problems in Statham.

According to Emma, Coach Beaver and Dr. Andrews had some sort of rivalray. Emma claimed that one time, in P.E. class, Dr. Andrews walked through the gym and told Emma to put some nets or something away when they were done. She said when they finished, she started putting the nets away and Coach Beaver yelled at Emma and asked her what she was doing. When she stated that Dr. Andrews had asked her to put the nets away, Emma said Coach Beaver told her to leave the nets where they were and if Dr. Andrews wanted the nets put away, she could do it herself. Did this really happen? I never asked neither Cora, nor Coach Beaver, but I’m guessing probably not, just like I’m guessing that Coach Beaver didn’t moonlight as a policeman.

Since I’m on the topic of Coach Beaver, I will mention a couple of other funny things Emma said about Coach Beaver. She claimed that Coach Beaver and her political science teacher (I can’t remember his name.) lived across the street from each other. This was during the 2008 election. Emma claimed that Coach Beaver was a conservative and her political science teacher was a liberal, so they both tried to out-do each other with signs in their yards for their particular candidate. Hmmm. I wonder what the odds are of these two teachers living across from each other and being political rivals ?

While staying with the Andrews, Emma went got to go see a play at her old high school under her favorite teacher, Bonnie Roberts, who was the drama teacher. (I will have another whole essay to write about Emma’s experience being in Drama at JCCHS, including confirmation from Ms. Roberts as to some of the lies Emma told about Drama.)

Emma also stayed at the home of Mike and Wendy Timms, one of Phill’s RC plane buddies. I might have met Mike at an RC event, but I’m not sure. Mike and Wendy have to daughter a few years younger than Emma, and one of them shares Emma’s name. They also had the fact that the girls were home schooled in common. I know the Timms family often went to the week-long RC event, SEFF, down in Americus, Ga. because Phill and Emma both talked about them being there.

Emma spent a weekend at the Timms’ home when they still lived in Hoschton. With the Timms family, Emma went out to eat Mexican food, and went to see a play that her latest crush, Johnathan McCravy, happened to have a role in. I think she also went to church that Sunday with the family. If I remember right, they went out for Mexican after church.

After I was removed from my home, Emma also spent some time with her friend Kayla Benifield Weaver, at the home of Kayla’s mom and stepdad, Sheree and Jeff Barwise, not far from home. Anytime Emma went to Kayla’s they ate out a lot because Emma claimed that Sheree didn’t cook, and I have a cute picture of a group of them going bowling.

This victim thing really paid off for Emma. She was treated like a guest everywhere she went (No chores!) and there were so many wonderful fringe benefits like meals out, plays, clothes, shopping, etc. It’s tough being a victim.

Coming up next…………………………………..The NEW Woman of the House! (OR, The Girl Who Would Be Me)

Temporary Protective Order (Preface)

Posted on July 12, 2014 by losingemma

*****UPDATED and EDITED AUG. 3, 2014******

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma was recently living at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, majoring in counseling, and talking about getting married to T., an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for over a year for that toxicology report! And the funny thing is that Emma’s dad knows she’s said this but refuses to address it.) Emma also claimed her future mother-in-law lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family, although I heard from this lady that she feared no such thing. While in Ohio, Emma began telling stories about T’s family, making herself the victim again, but since she didn’t have her mother to be the persecutor, Emma began saying hurtful things about T’s mother, sister, and grandparents. In Sept. of last year, T. broke up with Emma, deciding he had doubts about her. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Christmas 2006
Emma Roey

TPO

There are two dates that will live in infamy in my own little war. One is March 14, 2011, which I think of as Emma’s Emancipation Day, and the other is April 7, 2011, the day my loving husband took out a Temporary Protective Order against me, and two officers from the sheriff’s department showed up at my door and told me I had to leave my home. I am going to tell the story of these two dates and I will publish the TPO and go through it page by page. This will take a while, so bear with me.

March 14, 2011

After Emma pulled her little “abused child” stunt at Christmas to stop the law suit that her attorneys were about to file against the priest that Emma claimed molested her (as well as a suit against the church and the diocese), we were all about therapy. We were enmeshed in therapy. We were covered up in therapy. Therapy was our life. Last I heard, Emma was majoring in “counseling.” Ironic, isn’t it?

Just before Emma accused me of abuse, she’d stopped seeing Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment and Counseling http://www.mannatreatment.com and started seeing Suzie McGarvey at Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com (now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com ). I had taken Emma to meet a few counselors, and Suzie was the one she liked best. Suzie was originally from Ohio, Catholic, married to a financial planner, and had two little girls. Suzie even brought her two girls, along with their Labradoodle, to a “Pet Photos with Santa” fundraiser that Emma and I worked at for the rescue. I still have photos of the girls with Santa and their dog.

Because of DFACS involvement, we were also seeing some therapists that contracted with DFACS, the Social Empowerment Center http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com (Lori McCarthy, Rachelle D. Hutchinson, Emily Kirby, Candace Whitman and Tamesha —sorry, Tamesha, I can’t remember your last name.) Emma was also talking with her high school counselor, Heather Thompson at Jefferson High School http://www.jeffcityschools.org. We had PLENTY of therapy going on. Emma got LOTS of attention, and was talking to therapists at least three times a week. She didn’t really make any friends at school, but she had plenty of therapists to talk to.

If I remember right, Emma was seeing Suzie McGarvey once a week, and then we were also doing family therapy at least every other week. The weekend before Emma’s March 14th appointment, she had asked me if just she and daddy could go to therapy. At first I said fine, but then said no because we were working on therapy as a family, and we all needed to go.

On March 14, I had a doctor’s appointment, so Phill took Emma to therapy, and I headed to Lanier Counseling after my doctor’s appointment to join them. When I walked into the waiting room, Phill was there, and Emma was in the office with Suzie McGarvey for her private therapy session. Phill and I sat and talked for a bit, and we’d each brought something to read while we waited.

When it was time for family therapy, Suzie came out and asked Phill to come in, but wanted me to stay in the waiting room. Ok, fine. After a few minutes, Phill came out and I asked him what was going on. He said Emma wanted to say something to him, but she didn’t want him to tell me, and he told her that he wouldn’t agree to that. He took my hand and held it, and said he wasn’t going to keep any secrets from me.

Suzie McGarvey came out again and asked Phill to come back in to her office. He went, and I sat there and waited and waited and waited. I remember at 35 minutes past our appointment time thinking we would not have much time for our family appointment, and then finally Suzie McGarvey called me in.
I walked in and sat on the sofa. Emma was at one end, Phill was in the middle, and I sat next to him on the other end. To be honest, I was so shocked and stunned by what I heard next, I know my memories of the details are a little fuzzy.

Suzie, Emma’s counselor who’d told Phill and I that we were only the 2nd couple she felt she could trust with her own children, and who’d told me that she wanted to have all Emma’s therapists “circle the wagons” to sort of call Emma out on her B.S., told me that Emma wanted to live in a group home to get away from me, and we needed to separate. After that is where it gets fuzzy. I couldn’t belive what I was hearing. Emma was accusing me of abuse, claiming I would shove or shake her and then block it out. The whole story was so bizarre. Later, I said over and over that I felt like I’d been run over by a truck. I was completely blindsided by what Emma did and what was to come. I think I was in shock at the ridiculousness of it all for a long time.

Part of what shocked me was that I was also Suzie McGarvey’s client, and I felt very betrayed by her blindsiding me like this. After Emma had accused me of “physical abuse” just before Christmas, she spent a week at Peachford Hospital (a mental health facility, or mental hospital), and then she finally came home. We met with Suzie to discuss therapy, family therapy, Phill and I meeting privately with Suzie, and me meeting privately with Suzie. I’ve been told this is a conflict of interest, that Suzie should not have been my therapist and Emma’s therapist, but I don’t know. I did send a letter to the Georgia Board of Examiners of Psychologists and Therapists, but never got to speak to an actual person and got the standard letter back saying they weren’t going to do anything…

I was ready to let Emma live in a group home, but Phill wasn’t. I thought this child needed to see how other people lived and then maybe it would sink in that she had it pretty darned good! I don’t remember a lot of what else that was said. I was shocked and cried and asked Emma why she was doing this. Mostly , she would not look me in the eye, but at one point she said in such a cold, hateful tone, “Mother, I love you, but you have a problem.” Well, for Emma to call me “Mother” meant something right there. Emma NEVER called me mother unless she was being sarcastic. She called me “Mom” or “Mommy” or “Maise.” She did not call me “Mother.”

Sometime before this session, I met privately with Suzie McGarvey, and I remember telling her about one morning when I told Emma to hurry because we needed to leave for school, and she screamed at me, “I’M TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!” Well, Emma took control and made sure that no one was going to be telling her what to do anymore.

I didn’t know what to do. Here was our therapist telling me I could not live in my home with my daughter. Being Emma’s mom, her interests came first. I knew she had to go to school, so I said I would go stay with a friend for a few days while we got this straightened out. It was more important to me that Emma stay in the home so that she could go to school and continue with all the things she needed to do. Emma had missed a lot of school in 9th grade due to her vomiting issues (when I was supposedly poisoning her with DDT) and I knew we needed to keep her in school.

I went home and packed a suitcase and went to the home of my friend, Janice for a few days. Poor Janice. Emma stayed with her for a few days at Christmas when she was in DFACS custody, and now I was staying with her. Unfortunately, Emma acted horribly at Janice’s, and I felt bad that Janice was dragged into our family problems yet again, but she is a true friend and was there for me once again. I was pretty much a wreck the whole time I was there. I did a lot of crying. I was in total shock by what my child had done.

I don’t remember when I came home. It may have been on the weekend. I do remember that it was another friend’s birthday on March 16th, and Phill and I went to her home to take her a bottle of wine, but I don’t remember what day we went, and I don’t know where Emma was staying then. She ended up staying with neighbors like old friends Ann and Jack Verner, our neighbors John and Judy Hall (Phill did a lot of computer work for the Halls, erasing hard drives, when their daughter was going through a divorce. Their story is almost as interesting as mine, and I’ll share it after I get the TPO posted.) and Cora and Randall Andrews, and some RC friends of Phill’s, Mike and Wendy Timms.

Recently, my friend’s husband brought up that day Phill and I took the bottle of wine over for my friend’s birthday. Phill talked to them about how we needed to get Emma home and straighten her out. My friend’s husband brought up how he never understood how Phill was so supportive of me when we stopped by, and then a few days later he would turn against me.

Sometime, while I was staying with Janice, Phill completely changed his tone. I have no idea what Emma said or what Suzie McGarvey may have said, but all of a sudden, my husband and best friend of nearly 30 years decided I was a child abuser.

I came home from Janice’s, and Emma was staying at John and Judy Hall’s, and she was to be off the next week for Spring Break. Phill wanted me gone so Emma could be home with Emma. Emma and I had planned on visiting a friend in N.C. over Spring Break, so I decided to go alone, and that way we wouldn’t have to find places to for Emma to stay. Of course, at this point, I thought we were still going to work on things as a family, but Phill had already decided what he was going to do, and while I was in N.C. crying my heart out every day, Phill and Emma went to see a divorce attorney named Seth Eisenberg at Bovis, Kyle, and Birch LLC in Atlanta. I remember looking up the website at some point, and it advertised divorce for dads. I recently looked it up again, and it appears Mr. Eisenberg may not work for Bovis, Kyle, and Birch anymore. I didn’t see his name anyway.

(Mr. Eisenberg was the attorney who later told my attorney that he thought Emma was crazy, that she ran the show, and that Phill didn’t come see him without bringing Emma. My attorney also confided in me that Mr. Eisenberg told him that every time they came in, Emma brought up the subject of a restraining order, really wanting to get a restraining order against me. At some point, Mr. Eisenberg told my attorney that he would handle Phill’s divorce, but he wanted nothing to do with “that kid.”)
While I was in N.C., Phill and Emma were having plenty of quality daddy/daughter time and doing things like going out to eat (something Emma loved to do because I tried to cook fairly healthy) and on little adventures like to the Atlanta Aquarium. I was very disappointed when I found out they went without me as that had been something we talked about doing as a family. We had been, a few years before, to the TN Aquarium and had a wonderful visit there. I still haven’t been to the Atlanta Aquarium. Maybe that’s something I should plan on doing soon.
While I was in N.C., I decided I was not going to be run out of my home. I had been attending a Bible Study group with Emma at the church we had recently changed to, Holy Trinity Anglican Church http://www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org/ in Flowery Springs, Ga. I enjoyed the study and the group of ladies and decided I was not going to miss our Wed. night session on the count of my lying daughter. It was my home, and I belonged at home. If Emma had a problem living in our home, she could go somewhere else.
Phill was furious with me for ruining his week. He had taken vacation time to take the week off and be with Emma, just like he had taken his vacation time when Emma pulled her DFACS stunt at Christmas.
I don’t remember if I came home that Tues. or Wed., but I had wanted to be home Wednesday evening to go to church. As it ended up, our Bible study was canceled, so I didn’t go after all, but Phill was furious with me for coming home. I think Emma stayed with Judy and John Hall that night, but I don’t really remember. I was still in shock over what was going on, but I was determined to stand up for myself.
The next morning, Thursday, April 7th, 2011, after barely speaking to me for the past couple of weeks, Phill was all interested in what I was doing that day. I later figured he needed to know my schedule so he could have the Temporary Protective order served. He wanted to know exactly where I was going and how long I’d be gone and if I was coming home after that…
When Emma was vomiting frequently, I had thought of trying a Yoga class, thinking it might help Emma relax. We only had gone a few times, and I really enjoyed it, but Emma not so much. Emma was very critical of things that were not Christian, and as much as I hate to say it, she was pretty closed minded about a lot of things. “Namaste” did not sound Christian enough for her, and Emma was pretty judgmental about Yoga although she knew very little about it. I found that I really liked how I felt after a class after all the stretching and then the relaxing at the end of class. Emma was also very competitive, and although I was 50 and not in particularly good shape, I could do the poses and stretches better, and the teacher was frequently helping or correcting Emma. When Emma got home from the psych hospital and started back to school, I continued to go to Yoga about once a week without her. Had she wanted to stick with it, I’d have made an effort to take her to an evening class, but she was not interested.
That Thursday, I decided to go to Yoga. Phill asked what time the class was and if I was coming home after that. It turned out that he took Emma to the court house with him to take out the TPO and then drove Emma to Chamblee, Ga, to the home of some old friends, Ann and Jack Verner. I had been friends with Ann’s daughter, Kathy, since high school, and she was Emma’s Godmother, but we’d lost touch over the past few years after Kathy left her husband who told Phill and I that Kathy had been having some affairs. Emma really couldn’t stand to have anything to do with Kathy, and when Kathy was living with her girl/boyfriend Andrea/Jason (It gets very confusing, but Andrea was going through a sex change to become Jason.) Kathy had a little birthday party/open house at their new home. Emma absolutely refused to go, and Phill was working, so since it was on the way, I dropped Emma off at Sandra Brooks McCravy’s house in Lawrenceville, Ga. on my way to Kathy’s. Sandi said Emma could stay with her while I went to Kathy’s. I stayed for a short visit at Kathy’s new home, and then went back to pick up Emma. Emma would not have anything to do with Kathy and refused to accept Kathy as a friend on her facebook up until she pulled the abused child act and then all of a sudden, Kathy was fine to have as a friend again.
Emma once again got to play the victim and was treated as the house guest at the Verner’s home. I don’t remember what all they did, but even with the trauma of being an abused child, Emma put pictures on her facebook of her visit. I have a cute one of her and one of Ann and Jack’s granddaughters

Just to Clarify

Posted on June 8, 2014 by losingemma

Back to the blog shortly, but first a shout out to my old neighbor, Judy Hall, who brought up something I should address. Since this is my blog, I can write about whatever and whomever I want. I don’t need anyone’s permission. I’ve already been advised by my attorney about this, so I will continue telling MY story. I will be sharing stories that Emma told me or others. I will also be sharing stories Phill told me about friends and neighbors involved with Emma. Of course, there are people I don’t want to see hurt such as the girl Emma claimed was raped and attempted suicide, so those names will appear in quotations. Any lies that Emma told to someone else that I mention on the blog are documented for me by the people who told them to me.
Thanks, Judy for bringing it up. And of course, when I get to your part of the story, I’ll be happy to verify it with you, if you want, to make sure I have all the details correct.

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend, Tyler Buchheim’s family in Ohio, Tyler’s mother, Sherry Knopp
Buchheim, was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted Sherry Knopp Buchheim, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Tyler Buchheim eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
Emma has accused me of a crime (or two!). I do not take this lightly. At this point, Emma has two choices. She can bring charges against me or apologize. Well, I guess three choices. She can continue to lie about me, and I will continue to write about this journey I am on.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Losing Emma

Tag Archives: Judy Hall

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