Tag Archives: Johnathan McCravy

Emma and the Roy Moore Effect

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, who has put architecture on hold, is studying to be a Full Stack Developer at the Flatiron School in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis (according to Tyler).  Emma works in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area as an insurance underwriter.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

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My daughter, Emma Katherine Buchheim, conservative Christian, who falsely accused a priest of sexually molesting her.

Emma and the Roy Moore Effect

I have to admit, up until the latest accusation, I didn’t even know who Judge Roy Moore was. I am busy working, keeping up with my bills, paying taxes, and volunteering in what little free time I do have. I try to keep up with the news some, but that means mostly listening to the radio in the car, and a few minutes on the computer here and there reading the news. I have a television with an outside antenna, and on a good day, I get 7 channels, but if it’s raining or windy, I usually get three. Only two of them are the “big” networks (CBS and ABC) and the rest are junk. I am not that well informed. I’m hoping later to get a better antenna and get a few more stations, or at least get the stations I do get a little more reliably.

Lately, there’s been a lot of news about people, mostly women, accusing men of sexual abuse. Usually these men are in positions of power or positions of authority. There’s Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Louie, CK… Some of these men have admitted to what they did, and some haven’t.

And then there’s Facebook, and all the “#Me too” posts. I had to wonder if Emma rushed to post her “Me too” to show how brave she is, or to feel included, or whatever her point would be. I don’t even know what name Emma uses on Facebook now or if she is even on there anymore. She changed her name a few times from Emma Roey, I think to Emma Kate Roey, to Sophie Buchheim (or was that Pinterest?) to Katie Smith… I’ve really lost track of all the names Emma has gone by, but like I always told Emma, if you have to hide, it probably means you are doing something you ought not be doing.

All this got me thinking about Emma and her accusation against the priest she accused of sexual molestation. What was going on in that 16 year old brain of hers? I’m hoping one day Emma will enlighten us, but I also accept that I may never know exactly what is going on with Emma. I can only speculate and make my guesses with what I knew as Emma’s mom for 17 years.

I know there was something going on with Emma a couple of months before the big accusation. She went for a few months of accusing her dad of calling her names like “bitch” and “slut” everyday, and complained about the way he touched her. She didn’t out and out say that Phill molested her, but complained about him putting his hand on her thigh, etc. She told me that she had told her friends Kayla Benifield Weaver and “Lacey” about how her dad called her bad names on a daily basis. She said she did not like her dad and told him she didn’t love him. Poor Phill, this broke his heart.

When it came to me, I stopped Emma in her tracks. I told her to knock it off because she knew what she was saying was not true. There may have been a time or two Phill said Emma was “acting like a bitch,” but he never called her those names directly. I always shut her down and refused to listen to her talking badly about her dad. Emma liked to play the “Daddy is an idiot” game, and I didn’t mind a little joking around, acting like Phill just didn’t get us girls at times, but when Emma got mean about her dad, making fun of him for not finishing college and for being a dumb truck driver, etc., I would shut her down and tell her not to talk that way. I would remind her of our nice home and all the nice things she had and all the activities she got to partake in because of her dad being a dumb truck driver. I refused to listen to Emma when she got ugly about her dad. A little joking around was fine, but she could be downright mean, and I would cut her off when she crossed that line.

Emma loved to play the “girls against the dumb boy” game, and act like she was mommy’s girl, and dumb ol’ Daddy needed to keep out. This didn’t worry me. I thought it was kind of normal, albeit childish behavior, and then there was one day, at age 17, when Emma was sick with a virus and while sitting on the toilet with diarrhea, she vomited all over herself at the same time. The poor girl was sick at both ends didn’t make it to the bathroom in time and called out for help! I was busy in another part of the house, and didn’t hear her call out, but Phill, the dutiful dad went in to help clean up the diarrhea and the vomit of his nearly 17 year old daughter. I came downstairs and Phill told me that poor Emma was sick and had bodily fluids coming out of both ends. Her clothes were soiled and she was nasty between all the bodily fluids, but, good dad that he was, he’d gone in there to help get her cleaned up. That’s what a good dad does, this poor man that Emma accused of calling her “bitch” and “slut” and saying horrible things about her, this poor man who Emma loved to say she didn’t love, got down and dirty taking care of his daughter because she wouldn’t do it herself. Emma was so grossed out by the vomit and diarrhea, that she didn’t want to touch anything!

So………………..my theory is that Emma was thinking about accusing her dad of abuse. I’m not sure what was going through her head, but she was trying to create a divide between her dad and her mom. Unfortunately for me, I refused to listen to Emma talk bad about her dad, so she had to create a new plan.

I was wondering how Emma chose the priest to accuse of molestation. She had already accused a fellow student, Johnny Boddie, of trying to kiss her. Emma had told me this crazy story about Johnny and how he (in 11th grade) was engaged….. The story was so strange, and didn’t make sense, and when I questioned Emma, she just changed the story, so I let it go, just assuming Emma didn’t get her facts straight. Whenever I questioned Emma about some of her stories, she just kept talking, I guess trying to talk her way out of it or to distract me by going on to another topic.

How did Emma decide to choose the priest of molestation? This man had been the interim priest at our church for about a year when Emma was about 12 years old. I remember, when Emma did a reading, during the service, and after she sat down, the priest complimented her on a job well done in front of the whole church, and then began his sermon. (Emma had a great voice and projects well.)

At the time that Emma made up the story about being molested, the priest that she accused was running for public office. And, he was running as, HORRORS, a democrat! Is that why Emma choose the priest? I have no idea what was going through her little brain, but I have to wonder. Emma needed attention, so she made up being sexually molested. Then, she needed to come up with a bad guy to play opposite of her role of being a victim, At first, she was turning on her daddy, but her mom wouldn’t allow that, so she needed a new victim, so who did she turn to (or on) but a former priest at our church who was now entering the world of politics.

When Emma spoke to my sister, after I’d told my sister about Emma’s claim of sexual abuse, the first thing she said to my sister was that the priest was (shudder) a Democrat. Now, we all know that Emma is a staunch conservative, or maybe even Alt-right. Phill liked to say, “Emma’s even far right of right.” I have to wonder, if you’d been sexually molested, would your first thought be about the violator’s political persuasion? Is that what is important to you? Phill labeled himself a Libertarian and liked to say he was fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I couldn’t agree totally with any party, but considered myself fairly conservative. We tried to teach Emma to think for herself and not blindly follow any party, but Emma wanted to be a conservative Republican. She loved making fun of liberals including one of my sisters and her husband, and she could be kind of mean, but I chalked this up to that teenage know-it-all attitude. Emma was right and all liberals were stupid.

Once, when a friend called and I wasn’t home, Emma had a nice chat with her “Aunt M.” (Emma called close friends of the family “aunt.”) This friend happens to be a democrat, but was still pretty close to Emma and was always good to her on her birthday and Christmas. Well, when Emma relayed the conversation to me, she told me the craziest story about how Aunt M told her that the Nazis were going to come back and she needed to keep some hair dye on hand so she could adapt to that Aryan look. It might save her life! Wait? What? This was another story that was so crazy, I questioned Emma, but she swore it was true. It just didn’t make any sense, and it did not sound like my friend, so I dropped it, and as far as I know, Emma didn’t go blonde.

In reading about the Judge Roy Moore accusation, I had to wonder about the timing. I know, that a lot of women have kept their own stories about abuse to themselves until they saw others coming forward, and then they got the courage to come forward themselves. From what I read, the (or one of the) woman who accused Judge Moore, had worked for Hillary Clinton’s campaign. Why did she wait until right before the election to accuse Judge Moore? Why, right now? Why not earlier? And why did Emma accuse the priest when she did? Did she discover that he was running for office, so that was why she chose to accuse him? I don’t know a think about the accusations against Judge Moore because I haven’t heard much of the news in the past few days. I do believe in the order of law, and it may take time, but if the stories are true, it will come out. I sort of think there’s a double standard with the media. The same media who mocked Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones who accused Bill Clinton of sexual abuse, now whole heartily believes the accusers. That being said, I also remember when John Kerry was running for president and there was supposedly an “intern story” that would come out that never did. Also, when our home-state favorite, Herman Cain, ran for president, there were a couple of women who accused him of sexual misconduct, but those stories never went any further either.

Up until I lived through Emma’s false accusations, I was probably quick to believe the accuser in sexual abuse stories too. After all, who would make it up? Now, I need to hear a lot more facts before I pick a side. I withhold my judgment until I hear the facts, not that my judgment matters to anyone. And let me tell you, it was painful to side with the accusers of one of my childhood heroes, Bill Cosby. I was one of those kids in the sixties, lying on the floor around the stereo, listening to our Dad’s Bill Cosby albums. Early in our marriage, Phill and I never missed an episode of The Cosby Show until the last couple of years, when we kind of lost interest. Who didn’t love “everybody’s dad?”

After Emma’s accusation, she got what she wanted, temporarily. The priest that Emma accused dropped out of the race, but after the police investigated, and couldn’t find any reason to charge him, the priest got back into the election. From what I understand, he didn’t have much of a chance anyway, as he was a democrat running in a highly conservative district, so although what Emma did was an absolutely horrible thing to do to another human being, it probably did not have much of an effect on the outcome of the election.

When I told my good friend, Sandra Brooks McCravy about Emma’s claim of sexual abuse, she wanted me to go to one of the priest/politician’s political speeches and to stand up and ask him about sexually abusing my daughter. I wasn’t brave enough to do something like that, but now I wish I had. I’ll be if I told Emma I was going to do that, she would have found a reason to stop me.

Emma was always interested in politics, and even toyed with the idea of going into politics one day. After her brief stay at Charter Peachford Behavioral Health, Emma came home and said that she guessed she couldn’t go into politics now that she’d had a stay at the mental hospital in her record. (I don’t know Emma, quite a few politicians have been to rehab, and with the number of politicians who lie, that might have been the career for you!) Was blaming the priest for her made-up “molestation” Emma’s first foray into politics? Was the whole reason she accused the priest because of his politics? I hope one day Emma will explain to us the thinking behind her actions.

Unfortunately, I think there will always be women who will be sexually harassed by some man somewhere. Almost every woman I know has faced this type of harassment at least once in her life. With all the mental illness out there, there will always be men who see nothing wrong with their actions, or men who abuse their authority. I’m just sorry that there will always be women out there who will lie about such as serious issue and hurt the cause for the real victims, and I’m sorry that my daughter is one of them.

Another Emma Believe It Or Not

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Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Buchheim, Katie Smith, Emma Kate Roey, Sophie Buchheim

 

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Recently, I was traveling, and while driving along the coast and seeing the signs to Savannah, something popped into my head.  I  believe Emma was in 6th grade when the church youth group went on a try to Jekyll Island, Ga. to learn a little about bird banding. There was a couple at our church, Mr. and Mrs. P. who spent every fall banding birds and recording information. They’d been doing this for years. Emma seemed to enjoy the trip despite her complaining about the other kids. There was the one young lady that Emma never got along with, and Emma talked about how she latched on to one of the boys and spent the whole trip with him. (Perhaps a little jealousy there.)

 

This was also the trip where Emma complained about the new youth leader letting the girls watch the program “Sex and the City” and claimed that she picked up her sleeping bag and moved it to the kitchen. She claimed she told the group that she didn’t think her parents would want her watching that program. Whether or not that’s true, who knows? I think I can easily picture Emma making that story up to make herself sound a little high and mighty.
In 2007, Mrs. P. invited Emma and I to go to Jekyll while they were bird banding, since she knew we homeschooled and had a somewhat flexible schedule. We took her up on her offer and drove down there that September for a few days. Jekyll was beautiful, and learning about the bird banding was very interesting. We weren’t allowed to remove the birds from the nets, but we could hold the birds once they were handed to us. I was thrilled when I was able to recognize the subtle differences in some of the birds because when we first started, they all looked alike! In addition to Emma and myself, there was Mr. and Mrs. P, their grown son, and a friend of theirs who came down just before we left. Over dinner conversation, it was very clear that the politics of the group was liberal leaning, and Emma, being very opinionated, even as an 8th grader, did not like the conversations. As a mostly conservative myself, I agreed with somethings that were said and didn’t agree with some things, but it doesn’t upset me if my opinions differ from those around me. Emma, on the other hand, had no use for people whose perspectives were different from her own.
All in all, bird banding was a great educational experience.
A year or so later, when Emma was doing school on line, some of the ladies at church started a sewing group, and I thought Emma might enjoy that. Often, if I could let Emma do something without me, I would, to try to give her a little space without mommy always being around, so I took her to the group, but didn’t stay.
When I picked Emma up, she seemed to have enjoyed the group, but then started complaining about Mrs. P. and how she put down homeschooling, going on about homeschoolers being unsocialized, etc. Emma claimed that when Mrs. P. made some derogatory comment about homeschooling, Emma piped up and said, “Well, I’ve never known a pregnant homeschooler.”
Then Emma said, that another woman from our church, the mother of Savannah, one of the girls in the youth group, said something like, “Good one, Emma.”
I remember telling Phill about the incident, and it never occurred to us that it might not be true. We were kind of proud of Emma for speaking up, but sometime later, something bothered me about this story.Mrs. P. was a classy, polite, articulate, considerate, educated, kind lady. She’d known Emma for years, and knew Emma was homeschooled. I just cannot believe that she would have been putting down homeschooling in front of Emma, knowing that Emma was homeschooled, even if she did have feelings thoughts about it. She just wasn’t that type of person.
Have I called up Mrs. P. to ask her if this story even happened? No. I just classify this story under another Believe it or Not, and I’m not buying it.
So many times, I saw Emma be very judgmental against someone whose politics were different than Emma’s. That’s all it took for her to decide she didn’t like someone. I certainly hope she outgrows this behavior and can learn that people who think differently than you do can still have a lot to offer.
After we told my sister about Emma’s accusation of “molestation,” she later told me that Emma immediately told her that the priest she accused “molesting” her was a democrat. Doesn’t it seem a little odd that you claim to have been sexually abused by a priest, and one of the first things you tell someone about the situation is that he was a democrat?
I know this story is mall in comparison to some of the other things Emma’s done, but I think some of these small stories give you better insight into Emma’s personality, so I want to share them.
And Emma, I will give you credit for one thing though. You were right about your dad. I always joked about your dad being super smart but I wondered about his common sense sometimes. I guess in some ways, he is as dumb as you always said he was. Later on, I will tell you about your dad’s family and his relationships with them, and you can sort of understand why he is the way he is. (I would prefer not to write about this on the blog, but since we can’t talk in person I guess I will have to. And besides, nothing your dad or his family has in their history can be as bad as being a child abuser and attempted murderer, right? BTW, have you recovered from the residual effects of the DDT?  I hope you are happy and healthy.)

Thank you to my readers! Please feel free to write me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma Getting Married—A Mother’s thoughts

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

emmaandbeau-copy

Emma and fiance Tyler Albert Buchheim.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

For those of you attending Emma’s wedding, I hope everyone knows it is still Sept. 19, 2015, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, CA. Gee, I feel sorry for the people who go their plane tickets already  (wink wink) Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s an Ohio wedding?

In 2012, I heard Emma was engaged to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student from West Chester Township, Ohio, who attended Notre Dame University and whom Emma had met on line. I had mixed feelings. She was 19, and too young and immature to be engaged, and Tyler was her first boyfriend, but I was also saddened, no, heartbroken, that I didn’t hear about Emma meeting Tyler, falling in love, etc. from Emma. I felt like in addition to all I’d missed with Emma starting college, I’d missed hearing about something else that was so special in Emma’s life. She’s my daughter, and even with all the horrible things she’s done, I do love her, and I want to see her happy and to have a normal life, even though now I don’t think that is possible. Emma will never have a “normal” life.

I was sad at the thought of missing all the wedding things with Emma like seeing her walk down the aisle to marry the man she loves, helping her with arrangements, going dress shopping, attending her shower, etc.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Of course, later on, I was to find out that there was no engagement, according to Tyler’s mom, Sherry Buchheim, who e-mailed me several times and told me that Tyler was not ready to get in engaged, etc. Who knows, maybe Sherry was lying to cover up for Emma. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. I still find it odd that a family from Ohio would let their son’s girlfriend move from Georgia to Ohio, to move in with the boyfriend’s grandparents, if the relationship was not fairly serious. They’d even taken Emma on vacation to Hilton Head and even had professional pictures made of Emma and Tyler.

I felt obligated to warn Tyler’s family about what they were getting into, and saw no point in e-mailing a young man who was in love. Who would he believe? His girlfriend? Or her mother whom he’d never met? Instead, I contacted Tyler’s mother, Sherry Buchheim, and told her briefly what Emma had done. I gave her my name, address, phone number and e-mail address and told her I would be happy to answer any questions she might have. (I’ve already written about this, so dear readers, you can go back and read about “Bud the Boyfriend” to get the full story about Emma and Tyler Buchheim.) I knew that Emma marrying anyone was going to be a disaster.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Now, when I think about Emma getting married, it just makes me sad for her. What kind of marriage can she have? But then again, I am glad Emma’s getting married. She won’t be able to hide her crazy (with apologies to Miranda Lambert—I love that song!) forever, and once the newness and excitement wears off, and the young groom is close to Emma, living with her day in and day out, her husband is going to see that something’s not right. Eventually, the marriage will end in disaster, but of course, nothing will be Emma’s fault.

I was discussing this with a friend, who knew Emma a few years ago, and I guess after everything Phill and Emma put me through, I’ve come a long way. I was telling her that I don’t even feel like I’m missing anything by not attending Emma’s wedding because I feel like the whole thing is such a farce. Her marriage is just the countdown until the first divorce. Or, as my friend put it, it’s the countdown until the next train wreck.

Emma will have her wedding day, her pretty dress, her handsome groom, her wedding gifts, her honeymoon, and she will be the star of the show. But just wait until Act Two.

Special thanks to Face in Hole for the fun website!  Emma and I used to do those Jib Jab things where you put the face in (or the dog’s face!) and when I saw this site, I thought this was the kind of thing we would have sat there and played with, laughing hysterically as we made funny pictures.

Since I won't be attending Emma's wedding, I couldn't help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. This one reminds me of Hillary Clinton.  Sorry, Emma, I know you would hate that comparison! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Letters to “Lacey” – Post Script (Updated 8/8/15)–more to come……..

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma at the William Holland School in 2010. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma at the William Holland School in 2010. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

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Emma at the William Holland School in 2009, giving me a dirty look for taking her photo. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Letter’s to Lacey – Post Script & Emma’s Purity Ring

I wanted to share Emma’s letters to “Lacey” to give my readers a better feel for what was going on in Emma’s head at that time. The letters are the writings of a teenage girl and written more like a diary. If you read through the letters, it would have been in Dec. of 2009 when Emma told her dad and I that “Lacey” had been raped and then tried to commit suicide. I won’t repeat the whole story here, but Phill and I had picked Emma up on her birthday, after her youth group. Emma was very upset and told us that “Lacey” had called her from the hospital and was hysterical………. You can go back and read the post where I already wrote about this.

I often wonder why Emma would do that to her “best friend” as she often called “Lacey.” Was it because she had never actually met “Lacey” so it would be easy to make up a story that no one would verify? I just don’t know enough about liars to understand why they do what they do. All kids lie. We all know that. A school counselor told me that lying becomes a problem when the lies hurt people. Then it goes beyond what is normal. Emma was lying and hurting people, most definitely. I don’t know when her lies started going too far, but as much as I love my daughter, I know she has a serious problem.

Lacey’s” parents also sent me some chat messages between Emma and “Lacey.” Most of them were pretty uneventful. In one chat message, after Phill had me thrown out of my home by the sheriff’s department, Emma told “Lacey” she and her dad were planning a rafting trip to TN, and since “Lacey” lived a couple of hours away, in NW Georgia, she asked about meeting up with her. Previously, Emma had tried several times to get “Lacey” to come visit. I had agreed if “Lacey’s” parents would allow her to visit that I’d be willing to drive halfway to meet up with her parents and pick “Lacey” up. Emma told me two Christmases in a row that “Lacey” was coming, and one spring break, and at least once over the summer, but these plans never materialized.

I find it odd that Emma still tried to meet up with “Lacey” when she and her dad were going white water rafting in TN. Emma told people that “Lacey” had been raped and attempted suicide, and she had the gall to ask her if she wanted “to meet up for coffee or something?” Did Emma not think that “Lacey” might not think there was something really wrong with this kid who told such horrible lies about her?

If you look up Narcissism on Wikipedia, you find: Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and others. Signs and Symptoms: People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy.[5]

Ding, ding, ding, ding!!

Emma is unable to see the destructive damage she causes to herself and to others! And, Emma is all about power (control).

Several people have told me they thought Emma was narcissistic, and I believe she is, but there’s more going on there than just that. I know Emma has some serious issues. Narcissism is only one of them. Emma accused me of having a Borderline personality, but I think Emma may have been diagnosing herself. Although, when Phill and I first read about Borderline Personality Disorder, Phill said this disorder described Sandra Brooks McCravy much more than it described me, the symptoms also describe Emma. Honestly, I think there’s a lot wrong with Emma. She may have parts of many other antisocial personality disorders, but we just didn’t have proper help to figure her out.

I know Emma has some serious issues, and I would guess some sort of antisocial personality disorder. From the signs we saw over the years, the lack of empathy, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, and nothing was ever Emma’s fault.  Emma could be cold, calculating and manipulative, secretive, well organized, and egocentric.   …Emma knew right from wrong, but rules didn’t apply to her. I think, having raised Emma and homeschooling her for 5 years, I knew her pretty well, but I had no idea what she was capable of. How do you admit you think your daughter could be a psychopath or a sociaopath? Psychopath was a term I heard all my life, but I never really knew the meaning. Phill used to call his mother’s live-in boyfriend, Kenny, a psychopath or a sociopath, but even then, I didn’t really know what those terms meant. After doing some research and talking to some professionals, I feel like I have a better understanding of psychopath vs. sociopath, and I truly believe Emma is a psychopath.  As a mother, it breaks my heart to think my child is mentally ill, but what Emma has done goes beyond normal teenage rebellion
When Emma was growing up, she could be such a brat and so difficult about what she wanted, and it didn’t matter what was going on with the rest of the family, it just mattered that Emma got what she wanted. I used to think to myself sarcastically, “All that matters is that Emma gets what SHE wants!” or I might say to myself, “Well, Emma IS the center of the universe.”
I often wonder when that switch flipped for good. Emma could be my loving little girl who wanted to cuddle and talk things over with mom before bed, and she could be a cold, calculating, wicked being. At some point, the psychopath won out. Emma fed the wrong wolf. (From the Indian Proverb of the Two Wolves)
As a mother, what makes me sad is that if Emma is truly a psychopath, she doesn’t know what love is. She can pretend to love in order to get what she wants, but she will never know what it is to give your heart to another human being. It is hard to imagine someone being so self-centered that they can’t truly love those around them. I will write about my thoughts on Emma getting married in the next post, but it makes me sad for both her and her husband. Talk about a train wreck.

On Feb. 7, 2010, about a month and a half before Emma told us she’d been sexually molested by the priest, Emma sent “Lacey” a message about going to a bead show and buying herself a “promise ring.” Back in my day, a promise ring was like a pre-engagement ring that a high school boy might give a girl that he planned on marrying one day. I think Emma’s calling her ring a “promise ring” in the chat message might have been an error because she told me it was a “purity ring” and many times after that, I heard her refer to it as her purity ring. The ring was a little silver ring with a citrine stone. It was very pretty and looked nice on Emma.

Emma’s purity was very important to her. She wanted to remain a virgin until she married, and as a mother, you are glad to hear your 10th grader say that! With all the STDs to worry about, and all the unplanned pregnancies…………………….. I didn’t have a problem with her wanting to hold off on sex. Of course, but the age of 17, when Phill had me thrown out of my home, Emma had never even been on a date. Her thoughts about premarital sex might have changed once she had a boyfriend.

Emma’s own purity was one thing, but she held everyone else to her high standards. She spoke so terribly about everyone she knew at high school when she was in 9th grade at Jackson County Comprehensive High School. Emma made it sound like she was the only “good girl” in the whole place. Of course, Phill and I knew things had changed a lot from when we were in high school, so we just sort of assumed Emma knew what she was talking about. I think part of it may have been that Emma didn’t have any friends, so she made excuses by saying everyone else did drugs and was having sex so she didn’t want to be friends with any of these people anyway.

Someone told me that Emma seemed to have a superiority complex, and that I can believe. Emma and I attended a bible study down the street at a neighbor’s home with a group of women. There were a few members who had grandchildren that had been born to unwed parents. When the daughter of one of the women got pregnant and was not married, she started coming to our group. When we had a shower for this young woman, Emma was opposed to it. Emma felt like we were rewarding this young woman for her bad behavior. I thought this was a teaching moment, and I tried to discuss it with Emma. We talked about how lucky this girl was that she was living with her parents who were supportive and willing to help her. Also, Emma was very strongly Pro-Life, so I pointed out that this young woman could have chosen to have an abortion, but she didn’t. I thought we had some good conversations, but Emma was still very judgmental. Everyone was a sinner but Emma.

At one time, Phill had worried that Emma might be a lesbian. She didn’t show much interest in boys, but you have to admit that middle school boys can be kind of goofy. I wasn’t worried, just figuring she was not boy crazy. I think Emma was about 12 when we were at pet adoptions and walked across the street to Costco to get an iced coffee. We were walking back and chatting. I don’t remember exactly what we were chatting about, I think there had been a lesbian couple looking at a dog, but Emma commented on whatever we were talking about and then said , “Oh, I know I like boys!” I came home and told Phill he didn’t have to worry anymore.

One other thing that I think is funny about the purity ring and some of Emma’s letters was when she said she went somewhere. Maybe all teenagers do that, but Emma didn’t say, “My mom took me to a bead show.” She tried to make it sound like she was an adult and went by herself. I saw this in some of her other letters. I guess that was that teenager trying to be independent. Just over a year after Emma bought her purity ring, she got all the independence she wanted.

Coming up next: My thoughts on Emma’s upcoming marriage…….and for those of you that may have missed it, Emma’s wedding date is still Sept. 19, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, Ca. Gee, hope you all didn’t get your plane tickets already. Of course, Emma may be marrying Tyler Buchhein, an architecture student who lives in Ohio instead of Jackson Miller…………..just a little bug someone put in my ear………..but then, I haven’t received my invitation yet, but if you go to: http://registry.theknot.com/emma-roey-jackson-miller-september-2015/10942079 you can look at Emma’s wedding site, but you do need the pin number or password. (Sorry, I don’t have it, so let me know if you do!)

Letters to “Lacey” Part 20 Gwinnett Young Singers

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Gwinnett Young Singers 2010 under the direction of Lynn Urda. Emma is in the top row, third female from the left.

Gwinnett Young Singers 2010 under the direction of Lynn Urda. Emma is in the top row, third female from the left.

Part 20 Jan. 19, 2010 (This is the last letter I have that Emma wrote to “Lacey.” By then the girls were texting and facebooking a lot, so I think the letter writing went by the wayside. The letter writing had been pretty much one-sided anyway. Emma often complained about writing to “Lacey,” but “Lacey” didn’t write to her near as much as Emma did. All in all, I think Emma only got a couple of letters from “Lacey” and they were much shorter than Emma’s letters.) Emma starts off saying this will be a short letter. (5 pages) She wants to introduce a new character in her life. Meet………..Donnie (name changed), a junior at Mill Creek, Jord and Rob’s school. He showed up at PetSmart and decided he wanted to volunteer with us. Aunt Janice told Emma to show him the ropes. Emma’s thoughts at the time were: Omigoodness, she knows nothing about this guy except that a) he wears huge diamond earrings and b) he has a ton of tattoos, and c) he is so tall and huge that he looks like he could kill Emma with one hand. Not exactly someone she wants to be showing the store room, break room, etc. to……..aka, someone she has to be alone with. (This part is pretty amusing because Donnie was maybe 5’7 if that, with an average build, definitely not “tall and huge.” But I guess when you are 5’1”………..) Anyway, Emma claims she survived and she tells “Lacey” what she knows about Donnie: that he is from CA and misses it, doesn’t know many people here, is really bad at math……..so much so that Emma’s mom volunteered her to tutor him! Pretty unusual situation, huh? A younger girl helping and older guy with math? Luckily, Emma’s dad has been home for all the tutoring sessions, and he does a lot too…………… (Actually, when Donnie told me he was having trouble with his math, I asked Phill if he could help, not Emma. Emma did end up helping, too, but I never volunteered her to be Donnie’s tutor. Phill was always a math whiz, and Donnie was going to have a difficult time graduating if he did not get through Math. He was a nice young man who loved animals and was very helpful at adoptions. Culturally, being from the L.A. area, he was a fish out of water in Georgia, and I know he was happy when his mom finished her course work and they moved back to CA. Donnie ended up coming up with us a few times after adoptions to get some help with his math. He would have dinner and hang out for a while. ) Jan. 25, 2010 Emma talks about straightening her hair and wanting to feel pretty………talks a little more about Donnie……talks about playing the piano at church……..complains about not being able to get her permit after her dad finally said she could because GAVS attendance doesn’t count towards getting it. Jan. 27, 2010 Emma tells “Lacey” about joining a choir called Gwinnett Young Singers (GYS) which practices Tues. evenings. She talks about Elizabeth, who sat on Emma’s left, saying, “I feel diseased.” So Emma told her she was sorry and asked what was wrong. “No, Not that kind of disease,” Elizabeth responded, “The kind of diseas you get from the slut sitting in front of you.” Emma said she sat there in shock and then cracked up. Amazinigly enough, it made her feel loads better about herself. She says she is evil, but she’s not usualy THAT evil.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy after singing at a Gwinnett Young Singers concert in Lilburn, Ga.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy after singing at a Gwinnett Young Singers concert in Lilburn, Ga.

GWINNETT YOUNG SINGERS (While doing on-line school in 10th grade, Emma was not getting out except for church, not doing anything much except sitting in front of the computer. She had become one of those “unsocilized homeschoolers.” I felt like she really needed to get out more, and my good friend, Sandra Brooks McCravy (Sandi McCravy) had her son Johnathan in Gwinnet Young Singers, and it sounded like a good program. Emma liked music, so I asked her if she wanted to try it, and she did. It was kind of expensive for a once/week choir, and it was about a 40 minute drive, but if Emma enjoyed it, it might be worth it. Emma joined the second for semester or 10th grade. The director, Lynn Urda, did a great job, and the kids had the opportunity to sing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. One of the stories Emma told while in GYS was that she was chosen to do a solo. My goodness, how exciting. Well, not really a solo as it was her and two other girls. Oh, ok. A trio. Hmmmmm. I was kind of surprised at this story because there were so many talented singers in GYS, and while Emma had a pretty voice, she didn’t have a lot of training, but ok, whatever. Needless to say, this “solo” never materialized. Emma later claimed Ms. Urda had changed her mind. I would be willing to bet there was never a “solo” to begin with. For 11th grade, Phill and I decided to put Emma in Jefferson High School because she’d become so withdrawn, had quit going to the church where she claimed to be sexually abused, and we’d changed churches, but the new church was very small and didn’t have a youth group (Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga.). Emma didn’t have any friends to hang out with, so she was pretty isolated. Phill and I thought the only option was to put her back in school. At Jefferson High School, Emma signed up for Drama, and we figured she’d be busy with that. When she was a Jackson County High School, Emma stayed after school every day when they were working on a play. I did not think Emma would be able to do both Drama and GYS. Emma did not get chosen for a part in the JHS play, and while she continued with drama class, she hated the teacher, Roger Bright, and claimed he played (no pun intended) favorites. Obviously, Emma was not one of his favorites. Since Emma didn’t get a part in the play, she again wanted to return to GYS, so I told her she could call Ms. Urda and ask if it was not too late, on the condition that she would not be able to go on the GYS trip in January to Savannah because she could not miss school. (Emma was throwing up a lot in 11th grade and missed a lot of school.) Emma gave me a LOT of snotty teenage attitude. A little while later she told me she called Ms. Urda and was told she could not return to GYS if she didn’t go on the trip. I asked her when she called, as I hadn’t seen her do it, and Emma said she had just called. I asked Emma to let me see her cell phone, and she quickly said, “I used the home phone.” Then she told me she got Ms. Urda’s phone number out of my phone. I knew immediately this was a lie because I did not have Ms. Urda’s phone number in my phone. Emma knew she was caught in a lie. I just said fine then, if she didn’t want to call Ms. Urda, obviously being in Gwinnet Young Singers was not that important to her.) Jan. 28, 1020 Emma talks about going to church the day before and “he” wasn’t there  (At this point, Emma was still hung up on Evan, but she also had a crushes on Rob and on a young man named Nick, so I don’t know who she was referring to when she said, “he.”) Emma tells a funny story about our priest, Fr. T. Emma and Fr. T. were having a discussion about the piano and the organ. Fr. T. told Emma he wanted to show here something and then pointed out on the organ pedals like he’d never seen them before. “Three pedals here, three pedals there! See?” Emma told Fr. T that all the pedals did different things and he said, “No they don’t. “ “Yes they do. Listen to this…..now listen to this………..” Fr. T. said, “No way! Let me try!” So Emma played the organ while our priest was lying on the floor, pushing the pedals to see what they did just like a big kid. (Was this story true? I doubt it. I can’t imagine that our priest had NEVER noticed that there were pedals on the organ before.) Emma goes on to complain about the priest’s son, Trevor, being in her Faith Formation class. She complains about her friend Coral giving her some hand-me-down shoes since Coral wore a 9 and Emma wore a 7 ½ and how they had to resurrect the whole Emma-Has-Tiny-Feet discussion that they’d had the month before. Emma put her foot beside Rob’s and he exclaimed, “Whoa! Dude! You’re, like, kid-sized!” Then Emma says Rob said he liked her belt and that made her happy because she didn’t think he normally noticed what she was wearing. (I hate to tell you Emma, but a 7 1/2 isn’t exactly tiny.” Emma goes on to talk about the drama between Rob and a girl he met at the youth retreat called “Happeneing.” Emma says she can’t wait for Valentine’s day because that Sunday, Nick will play the organ and then they will rotate on and off. Unfortunately, Jordan is jealous of Emma because she gets to talk to Nick more than Jordan does. Jordan likes him, or at least she flirts with him, but Nick talked to Emma for like a half hour before church the other week. He is really nice and cute and a senior, and it seemed like he was paying a lot more attention to her that month than he ever did before…………… “Blech,” she says, guys are confusing and she asks “Lacey” to remind her why they deal with them. Ok, she is going to stop thinking about this and send this letter. Love ya! Emma-Kate

Two More Letters, but first…….

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

July 19, 2015

Two More Letters to Go, but first……. There is a gap between Emma’s letter from Oct. 19, and her following letter dated Jan. 8. 2010. It is possible the girls were e-mailing and not writing, and I know they were texting a lot because Emma had always shared some of her news from “Lacey”. If you’ve read my previous posts, you already know that a lot of what Emma told me was not true, such as “Lacey’s mother being on death’s door with breast cancer….. I also heard a lot about “Lacey” and Aaron. Emma loved telling me about their relationship troubles. It was all very dramatic. From what Emma told me, Aaron was a freshman in college while “Lacey” was a freshman in high school. They met through church, on a mission trip, I believe. There was lots of drama about trying to keep her parents from finding out about her feelings for Aaron because they would not approve of the age difference, and Aaron and Lacey didn’t date at that point, but only saw each other at church. Later on, Emma told me about Aaron having dinner with a group of friends at a restaurant, and his old girlfriend showed up. He confessed to “Lacey” that they talked for a long time out in the parking lot after dinner, and he kissed her. Emma really hated him for that. I have never met “Lacey” and have only spoken with her mother. I have no idea if the stories about Aaron are true or not. Since Emma lied so much about “Lacey’s” rape, attempted suicide, and her mother’s breast cancer……, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the drama about Aaron was made up too.

Also, just after Emma’s last writing in Oct., Evan seemed to lose interest in Emma. They spent a lot of time together at the church hayride. I don’t remember the exact date, but it was around Halloween. They hayride was held at our deacon’s farm, and the adults visited, and we all cooked hot dogs over a fire while the kids rode around the farm several times on the hayride. Emma and Evan sat together and he had his arm around her. It was all very sweet. I remember getting into bed that night and Emma came in and laid down on the bed next to me to talk about the evening. She was a happy, young girl in love. She loved telling me stories about what the kids said and did, and especially what Evan said or did…….

Church Hay Ride 2009.

Church Hay Ride 2009.

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride. Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride.  In this picture you can see how sweet and loving Emma looks with her dad.  It was shortly after this picture was taken that Emma started complaining about her dad, saying she didn’t like him, and he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” daily.   Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I’m pretty sure I know why Evan lost interest in Emma, but it is very personal, and believe it or not, my goal is not to embarrass and humiliate Emma. It’s not something that needs to be shared in this blog and doesn’t relate to the horrible things Emma has done. My only goal is to tell the truth. This is something I would have liked to work out with Emma privately but because she threatens me with a restraining order if I contact her, I feel my only alternative is this blog.

The last time I heard from Emma was Jan. 14, 2014. Just before that, I received an e-mail from Emma about breaking up with Tyler Buchheim. Someone pointed out something to me recently that Emma and Tyler may not have broken up. They may have written me to make me think that they broke up, and now that Tyler is or has graduated college, they may be actually getting married. I’m not going to mention what was shared with me. I do have some things to say about Emma’s upcoming marriage, but that is for a different post. In my previous posts, I referred to Tyler as “Bud the Boyfriend.” Since some of you may not have read about Emma and Tyler, here is a short version of it:

Emma met Tyler on line. He was an architecture student at Notre Dame University. He came down to visit her in Ga., and she went on vacation with the Buchheim family to Hilton Head. She convinced his family that she was not safe at home and they invited Emma to move up to Liberty Township, Ohio and in with Tyler’s grandparents, as Tyler’s mother did not want the raging hormones under the same roof. Emma began telling people she was engaged, but did not expect these stories to get back to her mother. I contacted Sherry Buchheim, Tyler’s mother, and in addition to telling Sherry what Emma did here in Ga., lying about “Lacey,” and claiming to have been sexually abused by a priest and then physically abused by her mother, I also shared stories that Emma told about Tyler, his younger sister, and his parents. As to whether or not Emma and Tyler broke up, I do not know. They may have pulled another one over on Emma’s mother, but I don’t really care at this point. I took Tyler’s name out of the blog when I thought they’d broken up, but now that I’ve heard something to lead me to believe I was wrong, I will put his name back in and leave it until I find out otherwise. Here is that e-mail Emma sent when she claimed Tyler broke up with her:

“Well, I have to say, congratulations. I never imagined you could destroy my life so completely, but you have. You win. You’ve proven that no matter how hard I try to escape your damage and rebuild my life, you will still find a way to hurt me. And now you’ve taken away the most important, sweetest, kindest person in my life. Yes, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to know that all this crap got to be too much for Tyler, and he dumped me. In your twisted mind are we somehow even now, or will you continue destroying my life? I don’t even know what else you can do, really. I know now that I’ll never be able to have a relationship, because you’ll ruin that. You’ll stalk my schools, my jobs, and anything else I ever do. What’s your endgame? What do you want from me? What the hell do I have to do to get you to leave me alone and stop hurting innocent people with your inane blog??? And please don’t say you want to be a mother to me, because publicly degrading your child definitely crosses the point of no return on that, as I know I’m not the only one to tell you. Oh, and stalking my boyfriend and his family til they dumped me? That didn’t score points either. “

At one time, I was not going to post that e-mail because I wanted to give Emma the chance to clean up her act. From the beginning, I told Emma and her dad I would take down the blog and keep this between the three of us, but we needed to deal with it. Since Emma chose to continue with her lying, I changed my mind, so there it is. I e-mailed Emma back and told her I would not do this through e-mail and she could call me to discuss it. I then received an e-mail from Katherine Smith. (Emma goes by Katie Smith on Facebook, last I heard. If you are going to change your name to hide your indiscretions, be sure to choose something common.) Here is that e-mail:

January 8, 2014

RE: Email Message

DO NOT contact me again, in any form, at any time. Forms of contact include (but are not limited to): phone calls, voicemails, text messages, email messages, messages sent through a postal service, and physical/verbal in-person contact. Again, as of today, the eighth of January in two thousand and fourteen, I am requesting that you DO NOT contact me ever again, in any form. If you contact me again, I will take legal action against you.

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma had already sent me a “drop dead” letter when Phill and I were divorced, so this second one was no surprise.

A few months ago, someone asked me if Phill knew how lucky he was that what Emma did to me could have just as easily been done to him. Then, recently, a friend, who went through this whole horrible ordeal with me, and is someone whom I will always treasure for being there for me, said something about how Emma’s goal was to split up her parents. Who knows why, but first she tried to turn me against Phill by claiming that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” every day, and complaining about the way he touched her. I have wondered if I had taken the bait, if Emma would have accused her dad of sexual abuse rather than the priest. When I would not allow Emma to talk that way about her dad, she came up with the story about being sexually molested by the priest, and when that went too far, she had to stop it and came up with the story about her mother physically abusing her. By getting her mother out of the house, Emma got all the freedom and control she could ever want. By threatening to run away if her dad made her go to counseling with her mother, Emma had her dad right where she wanted him. Blood is thicker than water, and a daughter is blood, while a wife is only water. With all the lies and documentation I have about Emma’s lies, Phill knows the truth, but won’t discuss Emma. He is definitely not the man I thought I was married to. For someone who was proud to say he was eligible to join MENSA, you just have to wonder. The first time Phill told me he could have joined MENSA had he wanted to, we were pretty young, and me being of only average intelligence, I have to admit, I didn’t even know what it was. I wonder if Emma is eligible too. I always said she got her smarts from her dad.

Letters to “Lacey” Part 18 *********(Completed 7/17/15)************

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others. As of now, Emma’s planning on getting married on Sept. 19, 2015.

Part 18
Oct. 5, 2009 (Emma starts another 7 page letter to “Lacey.”)
20130430_15

Emma tells “Lacey” she had a pretty good weekend. She was supposed to babysit T. on fri, but her mom was too tired to go to the church book club, so Emma went. The group was talking about “blips” in life when something goes wrong and changes your life such as bad marriages, bad parents, divorce, etc. Emma says she likes listening but pretty much kept quiet since she hadn’t read the book and didn’t have enough life experience to comment. We took a break to get food, and them Emma talks about Evan’s mom, Ms. M. saying to her, “Emma, I bet you’re sitting there thinking this is never going to happen to you, and she said it really sharply, but she’s like that to everybody, so Emma doesn’t take it personally. Emma says she was actually think that Annie D’s bracelet was pretty and she’d never seen her wear it to book club before, not that Emma would admit what she was thinking. Emma says she told Ms. M. how she’d been thinking how nice it was to be in a group of ladies and how we all seemed to have a bond even though some of us didn’t know each other that well. Emma says she feels like Ms. M. is attacking her, even though she thinks that is just how she is…

Emma goes on to say that o Saturday, they practiced at church all day long on their skit for the sock hop. Jordan is great at choreographing, so she told everyone what to do. They have a rough plan now, but need a few more rehearsals. Emma says she has a great costume—a cheerleading outfit from the fifties that Aunt Janice made—yes literally sewed every stitch herself—when she was in high school. It fits Emma perfectly. She wore it to church to make an announcement and to just generally draw attention to herself. Then she dragged everyone who was in church (Alex, Rob, Evan) up to the front during announcements to invite everyone to the dance. Evan and Rob were acolyting, so they were already up front….and when they went up for Communion, they were kneeling at the altar and Emma’s dad whispered, “Evan’s staring at you….Emma, look, why is he staring at you…” And Emma said “Daddy, its ok!! Be Quiet!!” As she later pointed out, who wouldn’t be staring at someone in a fifties cheerleading uniform anyway? Daddy’s not that observant, so he believed Emma. Evan always watches Emma, she says, but no one else usually notices, or at any rate, they don’t comment…..and if Daddy notices, he comments.

Ok, she sort of got sidetracked there. Emma says. The talks about finding 4 traffic cones and makes fun of Jordan for telling them to, “Make a circle with these!” and mentions pointing out to Jordan that they made a square, not a circle.
Emma talks about the Blessing of the Animals service and says she doesn’t understand people who aren’t used to animals. The youth group were supposed to be doing a dog wash for a fundraiser, and Emma claimed that Evan was supposed to dry the animals, but just draped a towel around a dog and asked “Is that right?”

Oct. 12, 2009

Emma apologizes for not sending this letter last week and says she will finish it and send it tomorrow, she hopes. She talks about acolyte training, which they had the day before, and the new junior acolytes which she is excited about. The new ones are enthusiastic and clueless so they do whatever Emma tells them very cheerfully. She complains about Fr. T’s son being book bearer, and says she is never going through that again. She complains that Trevor (name changed) is bipolar…..severe bipolar…and she thinks he has a problem with women, particularly as authority figures. He does not and has never liked Emma or Jordan,, and threw a royal fit about getting robed………….So while Emma is dealing with an eighth grader throwing a hissy fit, she’s also trying to get two acolytes who have no clue what they are doing to light candles. And of course, it’s a Baptism, so there are a ton of extra candles, all of which have to be lit in the correct order. Emma doesn’t mind helping a couple of the acolytes who are new and trying their hardest but Trevor is a different story. Emma claims she told an adult that she is never serving with him again. If he won’t accept her as team captain, there is really no point in trying. She is too type-A assertive/aggressive to put up with that, and no one’s going to be happy.

Emma talks about the Peace, when, congregants greet each other and hug or shake hands, and how she was thankful her parents sat on an asile so she go see them without making her way through a row of people who all wanted to talk to her. She was saying goodbye and getting ready to run back up front when she heard her name and of course, she’d know his voice anywhere, even in a room full of talking people. She spun around and was in his arms, not that she minds, but remember this is right besider her parents, so of course they had a field day with that one. Mother was gleeful and daddy was sulky/pouty………… Emma says she is not sure what is going on! She has a list in her head why she thinks he loves her vs. why he doesn’t. the first list goes something like this: he says he loves her. He texts her to ask her questions he already knows the answers to. In church he somehow always ends up sitting where she can see him and he can see her even when that means not sitting with his mom. He watches her all the time and the only time he’s not standing or sitting by her is if her parents are around. She calls to ask him one question which everyone else has answered in 5 seconds and they end up talking for 20 minutes about random, inconsequential, irrelevant stuff. The second list: He hasn’t asked her out. Sometimes he won’t even look at her if her parents are around. She knows his brother hates her (he hates everyone at church, but still) and she has no idea what to make of his mom. And he has no reason to like her anyway!

Soooo, Emma doesn’t know what to think! Oh and after church we went to a brunch at Chateau Elan, which has really good and really expensive food, and listened to talk about stewardship and pledging. Emma claims Ms. M., Evan’s mom, was one table over and she swears that every time she looked up, Ms. M. was staring at her.
Emma goes on to talk about whom we were sitting with at Chateau Elan and how she served at the wedding of a couple there and how Jordan was in love with the son of the husband…………

(I wouldn’t say Emma’s dad was “sulky/pouty” over her and Evan, nor was I gleeful. It was nice to see Emma happy, and since she talked about Evan all the time, like I said earlier, it wasn’t exactly a secret. The whole church saw them together, but most of us were adult enough to know it was young love and didn’t necessarily mean we should expect wedding bells!)

Oct. 15, 2009
Emma talks about going to Wed. night Sunday school and says she thinks it’s cute how Evan starts out on the other side of the room from her, next to Rob, and within five minutes, he comes to get something off a shelf behind Emma and sits down right beside her for the rest of class. She doesn’t know if anyone else notices, but she does, and it makes her happy.

……..in class they were talking about the part of the Gospel where Jesus calls a certain group of people hypocrites, and Ms. Shanna added, “we can see a lot of hupocrites in history…” and knowing that she and Ms. Greeson (the other teacher) agree with Emma, she feels the need to add, “Or prominent political figures.” And that got everyone laughing…….Emma says everyone there, except maybe Molly, know Emma’s opinion of the President.

Emma mentions how she likes both her teachers. They are both young, with young children, and agree with her politically, and they are just really nice. They treat her with respect, and Ms. Shanna informed Trevor that Emma is one of the most mature people she knows and he will treat her as an adult while he is in her class. They have a lot of art materials in the classroom and they are supposed to be doing something while they are talking, but Emma never does, so she just sits. She will never be happy with anything she draws, paints, etc. There is always some detail that bothers her, so she just sits. She wonders what they think about that. Next week she may pick up a piece of paper and just sit there with it. Just to make it look like she is thinking about doing something. Even though she never actually would. She doesn’t want them to think she’s not participating or that she thinks she is too good for it. She actually not good enough to do art. Even stringing beads. Everyone’s made cross necklaces to wear while they’re in the room, but she knows she wouldn’t be happy with the one she made, so she doesn’t make one.

Emma complains, “It’s so hard, “Lacey!’” She is having problems with walls again. She loves him, but she is afraid to love him. It was fine to like him when she thought he didn’t like her, but now that she thinks he loves her, it’s scary. Emma thinks about him all the time and then she wonders if he’s thinking about her. And when he looks at her, her heart flies so fast that she feels like she is going to faint she didn’t used to do that because whether she loved him or not, she never thought anything would come of it. Now she always wonders what he’s thinking and she doesn’t know what to say when he talks to her. She always manages to say something semi-intelligent, but then she thinks of a million other things she should have said. She wishes he would tell her he loves her again. Emma has this irrational hope that maybe something will happen tonight (when setting up for the Sock Hop) or tomorrow at the dance. Her parents will be there tomorrow, but not tonight…although she doesn’t really expect anything to happen. She wishes “Lacey” were there. She wishes she could talk to him. Well, no that’s not true. She wishes he would talk to her, except that when he looks at her he blushes and she can’t meet his eyes for more than a second. She wonders if he notices. He notices more about her than she realizes, she does know that. On Monday he brought up something that she’d said like three years ago that she barely even remembers. Emma doesn’t know whether she’s in love with him or not, although she knows he loves her. And she can’t tell her mom that she’s in love and has been since forever because she’d think Emma was silly.

Emma doesn’t care how sweet Aaron is, he is not allowed to think evil things involving “Lacey!”
“The journey from your mind to your hands/is shorter than you’re thinking…” Slow Fade by Casting Crowns.
Ok, Emma says not to worry she is kidding. Sort of. She doesn’t really know Aaron so shee can’t judge him. If he’s good to “Lacey” then Emma likes him. If he breaks her heart, he’s evil and villainous and she hates him to pieces. “Lacey” will have to print a pic of the two of them together and send it to Emma.
(And No, Emma, I never thought you were silly when you were in love with Evan. It was sweet. Love is love whether you are 15 like you were at the time or whether you are an old 48, like I was and still in love with your dad. Love is love, and it was your first serious crush, and a really big deal for you.

And another Casting Crowns Song you used to like, Emma:

She is running

a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

She is trying, but the canyon’s ever widening

In the depths of her cold heart

So she sets out on another misadventure just to find

She’s another two years older

and she’s three more steps behind….

Does Anybody Hear Her by Casting Crowns)

Oct. 17 2009
Emma spends the next three pages talking about Evan and the sock hop. The kids put on the skit they’d been working on, and then Evan pulled Emma on to the dance floor and it was a slow dance and there were only two other couple dancing, so of course Emma feels her parents staring at her. Emma says they danced about the next 7 songs and then one of the little boys started hitting Evan with balloons and he said, “Stop. I’m with my girl.” Emma wonders if she is “his girl” then why hasn’t he asked her out………….

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was I took of Emma dancing with her dad. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was this one I took of Emma dancing with her dad. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

Oct. 19, 2009

Emma talks about the Corn Maze trip and of course lots and lots about Evan…………sitting next to Evan in the car……….usual teenage girl in love kind of stuff……….wishing she could go back to last Friday night. She was so happy then. It was like everything was different that night. Different isn’t the word. She doesn’t even know that there is a word…and normally Evan wouldn’t hold her hand or put his arm around her, but for some reason it was ok and now they are back in the real world and it’s not ok anymore and she wants it to be ok, but she doesn’t know what to do about it………..Her life revolves around when she will see him next. She wants to have a heart-to-heart with him but is afraid to. She thinks about it all the time. She doesn’t know how much longer she can take this. It is stressing her out and she doesn’t focus on school or anything else for long. She wishes she could talk to someone, but there is no one “here” she can trust.

Thanks for listening! Love ya!
Emma-Kate

(Emma was a little paranoid about her parents “staring” at her.  It wasn’t a large group, and it wasn’t a large room, but Phill and I tried to give Emma some space.  And besides, we really enjoyed watching the adults dance.  Phill and i were to totally uncoordinated people, and the only dancing we did was slow dancing in the privacy of our kitchen!

Now, let me see if I can find that Sock Hop video………….)


Letters to “Lacey” Part 17

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Part 17
The following Day Emma starts another letter to “Lacey.”

Sept.29, 2009

Emma asks “Lacey” how she is and talks about the cool morning…
Emma then complains about going to the mall the day before to pick up her portraits, ugh. Tey are ok. She likes a couple of them, but of course it is the ones she doesn’t like that her parents had wallets and stuff printed of. We also went to Bath and Body Works, and Emma says she needs to stay away from that store. She loves all the pretty smells, but has four different ones….

Emma says that when “Lacey” is down at Christmas, they will go to the mall, and goes on to make fun of her mom, telling “Lacey” that her dad called and asked where we were, and her mother said, “Are we upstairs?” and how the cashier was laughing at her. Emma says when you look outside and see a balcony, obviously we are upstairs.

Emma reminds “Lacey” that they were talking about her parents being nosy. That is why she created a yahoo e-mail account. They don’t know about it, so they don’t snoop in it. Every time she uses it, she deletes it from her history so they wonn’t see it. She only e-mails “Lacey” and a few school friends from it, so she doesn’t think it’s that bad. She would never get into anything bad on the internet or give that address to anyone she didn’t know well, so she doesn’t feel too awful about keeping it secret from them. Also, she’s 90% sure they go through her text messages, so she deletes anything she doesn’t want them to see. It’s nothing bad, just what she told “Lacey” the night before. She wouldn’t want her parents to see that. She does have reason not to trust her parents. They are both awful liars. They can’t keep secrets for a minute. They’re just one of the things that could hurt her, so she doesn’t tell.
20130430_6

I love how Emma complains about the portraits (previously posted) we got from JC Penney. We had a coupon for $3/sheet of 8”x10”s, 2 5”x7”s, wallets, whatever. The price was very reasonable. When we looked at the proofs, I picked out the photos I wanted, and I let Emma pick out what she wanted. In addition to what we bought, her dad copied and made prints of them with the computer. Once again, Emma just had to find something to complain about, when she had nothing to complain about. It makes such a better story than saying, “My mom let me pick out the prints I wanted.”

The story about me not knowing if I were upstairs or downstairs at the mall may or may not be true. I am not much of a shopper, and I know there were two Bath and Body Works at the Mall of Georgia, however if we were close enough to the front of the store, I believe I would have figured out that we were upstairs. Emma’s poor, stupid mother.

Emma once complained that her dad and I lied to her, and we got into an argument. I told her that we might not tell her things that we did not feel were appropriate for her to know but we did not deliberately lie to her. She went on and on about how oh yes we did, so I asked her what we lied about. Her answer was, “Santa Claus.” So, sue us, Emma.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Sept. 30, 2009

Emma complains again about the cold and says she wishes she could have talked to “Lacey” last night. She complains that for two weeks in a row she has absolutely been unable to focus. Sigh. Not good. She was texting “him” last night, and she thinks she has already told “Lacey” that he will randomly start talking in Spanish, and no one can understand him because Emma is the only other one in Spanish and she is only in her first year. Emma says she is going to have to delete her Inbox soon. It is too full ad she doesn’t want to wade through it to decide what to keep.
Emma says she was asking Evan (aka “him”) to talk to anybody in the youth group that goes to Wednesday night Faith Formation about a project. Emma explains that the church moved Sunday school to Wed nights, and she can’t go because she has Forensics meetings and her mom says it is too much in one night. 
“Si mi amor.”
“Yes,, what???? I’m not that far yet.”
“Yes.”
“No I got that part. What is ‘mi amor’”?
“My love.”
“Love you too. I have to go to a meeting though [sic] I will txt you later.” Only, Emma complains, that she didn’t get to talk to him anymore last night because her meeting ran late and she was tired, but then she couldn’t sleep of course, so hopefully today.
Emma wishes she could fast forward to Saturday because the kids were tomeet at the church for skit practice…..


I would just like to point out another lie when Emma says her mother said “it’s too much in one night .” Poor Emma. Being the victim must be so exhausting. Because Emma really didn’t have any friends, and she quit most activities she tried, I took her to any church activity she wanted to go to, especially the youth group (and if Phill was around, he took her as well). The reason Emma could not go that Wed. night was because her Forensics meetings conflicted with her Faith Formation class, not because her mean ol’ mother said it was too much. It was not possible to do both activities, and she had to attend the Forensic meetings because it was a part of her grade, but doesn’t it sound soooo much more interesting to blame her mother for not getting to see “su amor” (her love).

Emma complains about going to the orthodontist and says she can’t wait to get her braces off (sometime next year). She says she is happy now because her mom says she can go to Faith Formation tonight! She is so happy, but of course she didn’t tell her mother why or act overly excited, but she can tell “Lacey” she is happy!  Except her teeth hurt which makes her not happy. Oh well, nothing is perfect. She is kind of nervous too but no one will ever know that except her and maybe him. Why can’t she feel as assured as she acts? If only she was a good enough actress to fool herself, that would really be something… Oooh, she almost doesn’t want to go tonight. He doesn’t think she is going because she didn’t know she was going until this morning. She knows he will be there though. Why does life have to be so darn complicated? And she didn’t tell mother about anything last night, so does she need to tell her before we go? She doesn’t think she is going to. She doesn’t think she will bring it up.

Emma says she is totally messed up. She is happy, but not happy. She is nervous, but excited. This is silly, but for once she doesn’t know how to stop being silly. Of course, she can cover it up with acting, but she can’t hide it from herself. Acting is how she builds her wall. She builds a facade so people think they know her and then she carefully adds to it so they never think to look under it. Sigh. She is going to go. She should look forward to it. Be Happy. Be Happy. Emma needs to be happy and bubbly and everything else she wants people to think she is.

Emma says she is so hyper. She wants to go and she has to wait three whole hours, during which she will be absolutely useless because she is totally not concentrating. Maybe while everyone’s coming in she can slip outside with the little kids and see him without her mom. Assuming we get there first. She will have to try to discreetly get her mom to leave early. Set the clocks ahead? Hmmm, too complicated….

Well, Emma says she was more honest there than she usually is, which she almost regrets She wants to just take out this whole page, but she will not. Because “Lacey” is not going to hurt her and her parents are never going to see this. So there is nothing to be afraid of. Emma tells “Lacey” to let her know what is going on with her!! And Aaron!!
Love ya!!
Emma-Kate


Ahhhh, young love and teen angst all rolled up into one. I don’t remember why we went to Faith Formation that particular night. My guess would be that Emma’s Forensics meeting was cancelled or postponed. I’m also not sure about Emma trying to discretely see Evan without her mom. When we got to the church, I always went and sat with the adults and she went off with the youth. Emma talked about Evan at home all the time at hone, so it’s not like it was a big secret. Everyone at church saw the two of them together frequently, so it wasn’t a secret there either.

Mother’s Day Update on Emma (Edited 5/12/15)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

When Emma was about 3, we got our first guinea pig, whom Emma named Milkbone, from the Atlanta Humane Society. She was a great little pig, and lived 5 1/2 years. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

When Emma was about 3, we got our first guinea pig, whom Emma named Milkbone, from the Atlanta Humane Society. She was a great little pig, and lived 5 1/2 years. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Getting Married Again ?

And Happy Mother’s Day!

Several people have asked me about Emma, so I will share a few things I’ve heard. I’ve been thinking about Mother’s Day lately, listening to friends making plans and such, and I wanted to send Emma a Mother’s Day message, but of course, I won’t send Emma anything privately because she would try to get a restraining order against me. Emma can contact me, but I cannot contact her. The rules according to Emma.
The last I heard, when Emma’s boyfriend in Ohio sent her packing, choosing his family over his girlfriend and the havoc she was creating for his family, Emma went home, moving back in with her dad and got a dog. She is majoring in counseling, so I assume she will be working on a Master’s Degree.
Emma blocked me from her facebook back in 2011, and she later changed her name on Facebook to Katie Smith. Sometime after that, she created another “Emma Roey” on Facebook, but did not block me from that one, so I keep seeing her name in the “People You May Know” section. I am assuming Emma wanted me to see this and she created this “Emma Roey” who lives in Seattle, so that people could find her easily and she could redirect them to her Katie Smith Facebook. I thought it was kind of funny for someone who has nothing to hide, don’t you think? You can block anyone from your facebook, so why would you need another identity? Maybe Emma’s hoping I will send her a friend request so she can work on that restraining order.

The new Emma Roey Facebook is very private, just saying that she lives in Seattle, worked at Ferrero Rocher (Yum!), Studied at the University of Washington, and her likes include such Christian sites as Focus on the Family, God is Good, Jesus Daily, Mike and Ike, Jewelure, Berricle (more jewelry) and Oreo.

Focus on the Family (Kind of Ironic, don't you think?)

Focus on the Family (Kind of Ironic, don’t you think?)

GodisGood
Jesus Daily

Jesus Daily

Emma always put a lot of pressure on herself with all the things she heard people say about being an only child, being homeschooled, being a Christian. Unfortunately, Emma lived up to all the negative stereotypes of all three of these. At one time, I thought she would set an example and clear up some of these stereotypes of how only children spoiled, selfish, etc., and how homeschoolers are weird and unsocialized, and Christians are hypocrites and better than everyone. I think Emma has also let a lot of children down who truly were sexually molested and abused. People that Know Emma’s story begin to doubt other stories they hear. Other victims will hear Emma’s story and be afraid to speak up because they will feel like if kids like Emma lied about being molested, who is going to believe their own story.

I heard that Emma will be leaving town again, which is no surprise. The longer Emma stays in one place, the more likely she’s liable to get caught in her lies.

Someone recently sent me a link to a page where one Emma Roey is getting married to a Jackson Miller in Cape Girardeau, Mo., Sept 19th 2015, exactly 3 months before Emma’s 22nd birthday. Whether this is my Emma Roey or some other Emma Roey, I have no idea. Whether Jackson Miller is a real person, or someone Emma made up so that she could have another fiancé. I probably shouldn’t be expecting an invitation. Perhaps Emma wanted people to think she is engaged again, I have no idea about that either. I was telling a friend about seeing the wedding announcement on a site called The Knot, and I told her that I’m not even sad for me. Yes, at one time, I was devastated utterly heartbroken about losing my husband and my daughter, but when I hear some of the things I’ve heard about Emma, I’m just sad———for her. I feel like Emma’s life is like watching that train wreck in slow motion. Emma will never have a normal life. I’m not sure even if she got “real” help she could have a normal life. Yes, she may get married one day, but it won’t last. It’s just sad to me to know what a disaster my daughter’s life is headed for. Emma can have a big, beautiful wedding, but slowly the ugly will seep back out. It can’t hide forever. Emma tries to make everything appear normal, but as another professional pointed out to me that Emma does exactly what mentally ill people do. She knows there’s something wrong, but she doesn’t want people to think it is with her, so she turns the tables on other people. This person was explaining to me how Emma felt trapped and cornered, so she had to turn on me a few years ago. Something about how mentally ill people have to get the focus off of themselves.

Since my divorce, I’ve had a lot of adventures that I wished I could share with Emma. Things I’ve wished I could tell her about. At one time, Emma and I could talk and talk and talk, but now I am everything that is wrong with her life. She needs someone to blame. Of course, the Emma I remember is not the Emma of now, and in fact never was the Emma I thought I knew.

I appreciate those who’ve asked how I am doing. I’m actually doing pretty well. I like my work, and people seem to like me. It’s funny to go from a very introverted wife and mom back into the working world. I laugh about something that happens at work and wish I could share it with Emma, but I can’t. I even thought how Emma would think I was a cool mom, rather than that boring stay-at-home mother she knew.
Recently, I took a class on line for the first time. I hated it, and I could understand why Emma spent all her time, when she was in school on line, instant messaging and writing letters instead of doing her school work. I could understand why she failed her Physics class. On line classes can be really boring!! Also, not being particularly tech savy, when I started the class, I was wishing Emma was around to help me navigate the on line class, but I managed to get through it.

The other day at work, I met someone who was talking about driving up north to help her granddaughter drive down with two little ones. I told her that I never would have been brave enough to make a drive like that alone with two little ones, so I thought it was great that she was going up to help make the trip. We got to talking, and I told her about when Emma was about 2, maybe 2 ½ and we were driving to New Jersey. We’d taught Emma the song, “You are my Sunshine” and we sang it a lot that trip. Phill was never one to stop and spend the night, so we would drive from Georgia to New Jersey in about 18 hours or so. Poor Emma was so fed up with sitting in the car seat that we started singing, trying to distract her, and Emma banged her little fists on the car seat and changed the words to:
You are NOT my sunshine
My NOT only sunshine
You make me NOT happy
When skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I NOT love you
Please don’t NOT take my sunshine away…
It was so cute, but Emma was NOT a happy camper on that long car ride!

People ask me about Emma, and you can almost see it in their eyes, “Thank God it’s not my child.” Because I work with the public, I’ve met many people who’ve been through similar things with their own children. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don’t. I’ve heard some stories similar to my own, and I’ve heard worse. I knew Emma wasn’t mine to keep, my job was to raise her and hopefully turn her into an responsible adult. What Happened? I don’t know. I just have to repeat something another parent told me. “We didn’t raise her that way.” I thought Phill and I had done a pretty good job raising Emma until the poop hit the proverbial fan. I remember so many times when she was about 16 thinking that we were almost there. I know high school is a difficult age, but if we could just get her to college, I knew she would love college and do well. Emma, with her high IQ, could do anything she set her mind to. For years, she wanted to be a pediatrician, and I thought she would make a great one. The thought of Emma being a counselor scares me, and I can’t tell you the number of people who know Emma who have voiced their fears about this. A psychologist told me that with what Emma did to her mother, this would definitely be the wrong career for her because of her lack of empathy. No doubt, Emma will be able to charm her way along for a while. I am just praying she doesn’t damage any other families in her career. Of course, I pray every day for Emma. I’ve accepted that I may never see her again in this lifetime. I hope she gets the help she needs, but all that is out of my control now, so all I can do is pray for Emma.

Well, Happy Mother’s Day Emma. You are always in my heart no matter where you roam. I’m sure Daddy is up at Joe Nall this weekend, so I’m guessing you either went with him or are at home. You’ve probably made plans to spend with your “other mommy” Sandra Brooks McCravy for Mother’s day. Have fun!

if at first

And thanks to my readers!  I will get back to posting Emma’s Letters to “Lacey” as soon as I can.  I’ve been very busy lately, but something that has been taking up a lot of my time is coming to an end soon, so I will have a little more time soon. And thank you for bearing with my errors and typos. I’m usually rushing to write, and I know I need to edit better, but for now, I’m just trying to get my thoughts down when I have a little time!

Letters to “Lacey” Part 14

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

(There is a large gap between Emma’s letters from June to September. I do not know if Emma was hand writing instead of e-mail. At some point, the girls began texting a lot and quit writing, but that may have been later. Over the summer of 2009, Emma went on a mission trip with Eternal Hope of Haiti. I don’t remember how many were on the trip, but it was a small group: the director (a Nurse Practitioner) and her husband who lived in our neighborhood, another NP who was a neighbor, two college aged girls named Brandi, who I think was a medical assistant, and Leah Jung, a future medical student at Emory University. Emma roomed with Brandi and Leah, and while she liked Leah, she had nothing nice to say about Brandi. That summer, Emma also went with her church youth group to Cherokee, N.C., and Phill went along as a chaperone. On the last day, my sister had come down from CT., so we drove up to Cherokee for the events, and a friend from church rode with us.)

Emma (front and center) and some of the kids from her church youth group. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma (front and center) and some of the kids from her church youth group, as well as Phill, and Ms. Karen (green sweater) who was the youth group leader. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Sept 7, 2009

Emma says hello from her lonely house sitting self. Emma says she is probably going home today and that she did get out yesterday (Sunday) so that was nice. Emma talks about church and how Jordan was serving, and after she’d disrobed she joined Emma downstairs in the parish hall with the distraught announcement, “That cute guy I was watching during the sermon is gone!” Emma says she tries to listen to the sermon, but Jordan fantasizes about guys that don’t know she exists. Sigh. She can’t change her but has to love her for what she is… “That guy” says Emma is actually Loydon, the little brother of a girl who graduated the previous year. Emma says she doesn’t know anything about him and neither does Jordan, but that doesn’t stop her from deciding she’s in love with him.

Sunday afternoon, Emma went over to Jordan’s house, since she did not live far from where Emma was housesitting. Emma says it was that or have her mom come get her for the youth group meeting and then have to stay through it. Emma doesn’t like it when her “rents” come because it’s the one bit of time she has without them hovering over her. Plus she enjoys hanging out with Jordan…sometimes. “I mean I love her, but she worries me.” Says Emma about Jordan. Also being with Jord for the afternoon gives Jordan time to formulate her scheme for Emma’s life so she was really glad that Evan was not there that night. Emma says Jordan’s current genius plan is to tell Evan to ask Emma out and for Emma to tell Loydon to ask Jordan out. Apparently, Emma is not to say, “Hi, you’ve never seen me before, but my best friend that you don’t even know exists wants you to ask her out.” That is not a conversation Emma is willing to have. She has told Jordan a million times that she’s not allowed to advise Emma or Evan about what to do with their lives, but somehow that hasn’t sunk in yet. Case in point, Emma walks out of the bathroom to see Jordan facing away from her, bent over something. Jordan’s little brother Kyle walks over to Emma and says, “I don’t know what you’re doing. But I’m pretty sure you’re in trouble. She went through your purse.” That is all Emma needs to know, that is how well Emma knows Jordan. Emma goes to Jordan and tells her to give her her cell phone. Now. She says that she can see her fingers and she knows where the send button is and that if Jordan touches it, her Itouch will magically disappear. Jordan snaps the phone closed and hands it back to Emma. Emma says that Jordan doesn’t know it, but Emma’s phone saves all unsent text messages in a Drafts folder, so she wasn’t surprised (but you should have seen Jordan’s face!) when her phone’s automated voice announced sweetly, “You have an unsent message to…….Evan………..Br……would you like to send it now?” “Hmmmm,” Emma says she doesn’t remember texting Evan. Let’s see what the message says, Jordan. Come here, don’t you want to see? It’s a mystery………

…Emma tells Jordan she needs to work on her impersonating skills, dear. Jordan wrote “ily” and Emma doesn’t type like that, she types things out. Emma says it is easier to make a joke that to blow up at Jordan although she does deserve it. Jordan says, “Ok! Fix it and send it.” But Emma tells her she is not silly enough to think she would do that. Give it up Jordan. Not going to work. Nice try.

Emma said they had the girls at the youth group, Emma, Jordan, Alex, and Ari, and ended up messing around and playing Apples to Apples. Jordan kept getting cards and complaining she didn’t know who the people were. She would show Emma her hand, so Emma would try to help with the fairly obvious ones. “Eleanor Roosevelt. Think Jord. Doesn’t Roosevelt sound familiar?” “Oooh, I know! There was the tv show about the black guy!” At this poing Ms. Karen and Ms. Shanna (the youth group leaders) are sitting there as so many people do, silently blaming Emma for Jordan’s general Jordan-ness.“

Later, Emma got a card she couldn’t resist teasing Jordan with. The card said, “Prince Charming”, but of course it had to backfire when Ms. Karen said, “No, but you do.” (Referring to Emma’s prince—Evan.) So Emma replied innocently, “How would I know who Jordan’s prince charming is?” And to make things even better, Emma complains, her mom has to give her advice on the whole situation. She actually wants to go along with Jordan, can you believe that??? This past year she’s gone from being psycho-overprotective-my-daughter-can’t-date-til-she’s-thirty-mom to being Emma-and-Evan-are-getting-married-isn’t-this-great-mom. Emma says she doesn’t know which mom she prefers as they both drive her crazy, and her dad continues to stick to his one request, “I don’t care what you do, but please don’t get pregnant.” So, in a nutshell, Emma says she has no one sane to talk to at home. She is hoping “Lacey” can come visit at Christmas break. Sheesh. Sometimes she thinks she will write a soap opera based on her life!

(Well, I did enjoy seeing Emma have a little bit of a social life and a little fun, but no, I wasn’t doing any wedding planning, and she never told me about Jordan’s plan, so I didn’t give her any advice on that one. And no, “Lacey” never came to visit.)

Emma mentions talking to Evan on the phone the night before. She says that is the irony: that Jordan takes one look at a guy and decides she loves him and he loves her back and that is all there is to it. Emma has known Evan for years and despite what everyone else says and thinks, she doesn’t know whether to think he likes her or not…or what it means if he does. High School: the best years of your life. Ha. They’re also the most painful, the most complicated, the hardest…all Emma can think about is that it would be her worst nightmare if she and Evan started dating and ended up like Jordan and Rob after they broke up. Emma doesn’t think she is mature enough for a “good” break up. She cries when flower wilt. She cries at midnight in her room when no one can hear her, but still. Anyway, thanks for listening, Emma says, and being sympathetic to her totally melodramatic life. Love ya!! Write Soon! Emma-Kate