Protecting the Ones We Love

Posted on March 13, 2018 by losingemma

My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Emma and her current husband, Tyler Buchheim live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, who has put architecture on hold, is studying to be a Full Stack Developer at the Flatiron School in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis (according to Tyler). Emma works in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area as an insurance underwriter. Emma and Tyler are the parents to two little dogs, Arya and Sansa. (Emma is a huge Game of Thrones fan.) Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Ok, so I changed the title of this post, but I’m not changing the post, so if you’ve already read it, don’t bother. Initially, I was thinking how it’s a mother’s instinct to protect her child, and so I named the post, “A Mother’s Instinct,” but then I started comparing my situation with Emma to the local story of this murdered woman. I was thinking about how this dying woman did not want to believe her husband shot her on purpose (allegedly). I heard someone talking about she may have said, “It was an accident.” because she wanted to protect her husband, and I got to thinking about how I still wanted to protect Emma, even though she accused me of child abuse, and even though I was just beginning to uncover her lying habit. (At the time she accused me though, I had no idea how much lying Emma was doing. She pretty much lied about everything.)

Well, after a wonderful, relaxing vacation visiting friends in Fla., and then stopping on my way home to Kayak from Amelia Island to Cumberland Island, I got home, back to the grind, had a rather traumatic welcome home surprise at work on my first day back from vacation, and then got hit by a cold. One of those colds that just wears you out, but you keep going, keep working, etc, until you have a day off to crash in the bed all day. Thank goodness I have (knock wood) managed to avoid the flu, so I can’t complain too loudly about being sick, but gosh, darn, I almost made it through the whole sick season without getting sick!

I had the radio on while running around today, and I was listening to a local talk show (Eric Von Haessler—if you haven’t heard of him, I guess you would say he’s a libertarian who talks about current events and he and his crew are very funny.) Eric was talking about a local story that I’d heard about, but really hadn’t paid much attention to– A wealthy, high powered attorney who shot and killed his wife in 2016. Murder or Accident? The trial was starting today.

I was sort of half listening, as I really wasn’t that interested in the Tex McIver case, and there was a legal analyst (Ron Carlson, I think) on, and now I’m going to have to learn how to listen to a Podcast because I want to go back and hear it again, but anyway, they were talking about all the contradictions in the case. Listening to it got me a little curious, so I did some reading about it, and here are some of the things I found out about the death of Diane McIver and her husband Tex:

Tex McIver

Wife much wealthier than he was

owed wife $350,000, hence possible new will, leaving their ranch to her Godson

Offered bribe to make case go away

tried to convince witness to say she wasn’t there

sold off wife’s things shortly after her death

broke bond condition of not possessing any guns when investigators discovered a glock in his sock drawer while executing a search warrant

did not call 911 after wife shot

instead of taking wife to closest hospital, took her to a hospital further away that did not have a trauma center

Prior to his marriage to Diane, was involved in a shooting where he opened fire on three young men in a car

acrimonious divorce from his first wife who accused him of a long-time affair

Diane McIver

while dying, stated to Emory Dr. that it was an “accident”

when Dr. asked wife if she wanted to see husband, she said, “no”

Ok, so that’s for starters, and I have to admit, I’ve gotten more curious, so I’m going to have to do some more reading about the case.

What caught my attention was when the two gentlemen on the radio were discussing why Diane McIver would say her husband shooting her was an “accident.” Was Diane trying to protect her husband and she didn’t want to admit that her husband might have shot her on purpose? Maybe she just didn’t want to believe her husband could do what he’d done.

Like I said, I want to go back and listen to the segment again, but I could really relate to protecting those we love, especially as a mother.

When Emma’s attorney was about to file a law suit, and Emma and I talked about how the attorneys would need to talk to her on-line friend, “Lacey” who Emma claimed was raped and attempted suicide, Emma understood that this would be necessary for her case, to show how “Lacey’s” rape brought up Emma’s repressed memories of being molested by the priest when she was 12. Emma was fine with it and said she understood and would talk to “Lacey” and tell her that the attorneys would need to talk to her.

Of course we know how this story ends, I get the email from the attorney that he is ready to file the suit, and WHAM, all of a sudden my daughter accuses me of physically abusing her to stop the law suit before she is caught in a big fat lie. (This was a brief synopsis for those of you who may be new readers.)

When the legal analyst was talking about how Diane McIver may have been wanting to protect her husband by claiming he shot her by accident (He was in the backseat of the vehicle, how would she know?”) I thought of Emma and how I wanted to protect her.

Shortly before Christmas of 2010, my daughter accused me of abuse and we had the whole DFACS involvement, Emma went to the mental hospital, etc., and after we got her home, I just wanted to get my family back to normal. I’d begun to suspect that Emma really hadn’t been sexually abused, or maybe I’d had some doubts from the beginning, but what parent wants to believe their child made up a lie about being sexually abused?

After Emma accused me of abuse, my mind was made up that the whole thing was a lie, but I didn’t pursue it. We wanted Emma home, we were in family therapy with Suzie McGarvey, (now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) and had Emma in therapy, and Phill and I even went without Emma to talk to her therapist. (Big mistake because when Emma found out, she was paranoid about it and thought we were just going to “talk bad” about her, even when I told her we were trying to work on making things better as a family.) With all this going on, I still couldn’t tell anyone that I thought Emma made up the whole, “I was sexually abused by a priest” thing. I didn’t even say anything to Phill, my best friend, husband, and love of close to 30 years. I still wanted to protect her and didn’t want people thinking badly of her, even though I felt it was a lie.

Of course, hindsight is 20-20 and now I feel like Phill and I should have either sat down with Emma or sat down with Emma and a counselor and we should have gotten to the bottom of things. Maybe if we’d pushed Emma to answer some hard questions, we would have gotten to the truth a lot sooner, and my family would have been destroyed by Emma’s power struggle. Even now, I have an tiny unrealistic hope that Emma will grow up and one day tell us why she did what she did, but I guess 99% of me feels like this won’t happen. In 17 years of being Emma’s mom, I saw too much that makes me think she could be a sociopath, a narcissist, and may have some other personality disorders thrown in, so I don’t really expect Emma to change, except maybe to get better at what she does.

So, yes Diane, if you were trying to protect your husband, I completely understand. I tried to protect my daughter from being thought badly of, from her own lies, from herself, even to my own detriment. My first instinct, even with all the horrible things my daughter did, was to protect her.

hurt

A Question of Timing

Posted on November 4, 2016 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

A Question of Timing

I’ve been reading a lot about liars and lying, and I probably have several posts I can write about that topic as it relates to Emma, but something that’s been on my mind lately was Emma’s timing.

The first time Emma accused me of physical abuse (Dec. 2010), it was to cover up the lies about her friend “Lacey” who was not raped and did not attempt suicide. Since Emma claimed “Lacey’s” rape brought up her repressed memories of being molested when she was 12, how could Emma’s own allegations be true if the stories about “Lacey” were NOT true. We had some attorneys who were willing to sue on Emma’s behalf, and they were about to file the lawsuit. I can only imagine the panic Emma must have felt as a just turned 17 year old, about to be caught in a whopper of a lie. Everyone would know that her claims of being sexually molested by a priest were lies! Emma had to stop the law suit, so she found a way to take the focus off her stories with a new story. Now poor Emma wasn’t just the victim of sexual abuse by a priest, but she was also the vicim of physical abused by her mother! What drama!

Ok, so that is not the part I am thinking about at this point. That was really just a brief update for my new readers who might not have read a lot of Emma’s story yet.

In March of 2011, Emma was in school at Jefferson High School, Jefferson Ga., and we were cruising along in therapyland. We took Emma to weekly appointments with Suzie McGarvey ( Lanier Counseling, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) and had family therapy sessions. Emma also had several DFACS therapists who met with her. At that time, she really didn’t have any friends, other than “Lacey” whom she texted and e-mailed and called her “best friend” although the two girls had never met. It was kind of like we were paying therapists to act in the place of Emma’s friends.

Phill and I had met with Suzie a few times privately as well, and when Emma found out about this, she was furious. She yelled at me and claimed we were going to meet with Suzie to “talk bad” about her. To add to her fury, Emma was upset when she found out Phill and I had gone out to IHOP to eat after a session. Apparently we weren’t allowed to eat out without our daughter. How dare we cheat her out of her funny face pancakes! (Come on, Emma. It’s not like we were going to The Melting Pot or something.)

It was March 14^th, 2011 when we met with Suzie McGarvey and she told me that Emma and I would have to be separated because Emma claimed I still abused her and she wanted to go live in a group home.

Something else going on at this time was that Phill was getting ready for SEFF Week (Southeast Electric Fly off) in Americus, Ga. He would go down and spend a week playing with RC planes and hanging out with his flying buddies. Emma had been going to SEFF since she was 12. She worked as the administrative assistant to the director Jeff Meyers and later Matt Klos’ (the father-in-law of Phill’s newest attorney, Bradley D. Moody, the associate part of Lee Sexton and Associates, Stockbridge, Ga.) She got paid for the week, and she loved the money she made. She worked hard and did a great job. We were always proud of how our sometimes typical nasty teenager could turn into a mature young lady who took her position seriously. Emma also liked the prestige of being the director’s right hand girl, and Jeff Meyers said some really nice things about how hard she worked. She got to boss around the vendors and tell them where to set up. Everyone knew Emma and she was known as the “go-to” girl. She worked at SEFF every year right up until 2015, until she got married.

emmajeffmeyers

Emma made a nice chunk of change and enjoyed working at SEFF week as Jeff Meyers’ assistant. (And then later under Matt Klos)

I had never been to SEFF because SEFF week always conflicted with my end of the year program at the homeschool arts program where I worked part time, and it was always a busy week for me. Also, Emma and I spent so much time together all year and Phill was on the road so much with UPS, that I liked the idea of her having this week with Daddy and it being “their” annual thing together. Phill was always a little jealous of my relationship with Emma, so I was really glad for them to have this mommy-free time with just the two of them. After homeschooling and being busy with the end of the year program at my job, I usually enjoyed the first 2-3 of days of a quiet house to myself.

We had 3 dogs at home, so getting away wasn’t easy and Phill and Emma always sounded so busy that I wasn’t sure what I would do there, but Phill had been after me to go, so I was planning on going to Americus Ga. For SEFF in 2010. My school program ended on a Thursday night, so I could go down on Fri. and then we would all come home on Sunday.

Being somewhat an introvert and not knowing anyone at SEFF (I’d met a few of the people when I went out to watch Phill fly with the local RC groups, but I didn’t really know them.), I was a little nervous about driving down to Americus and hanging out with Phill and all his buddies. From what I heard, there was flying during the day and then a lot of sitting around, drinking and gabbing in the evening.

After hearing about what a great job Emma did at SEFF, I was really looking forward to seeing her in action. It sounded like she was kept pretty busy with all that had to be done, and I would get to see just what her job entailed after hearing so much about it. It was one of those things where you feel like all your hard work as a parent gets paid off, that you might get a glimpse of the adult your child is going to become.

Well, everything came to a screeching halt when Emma again accused me of abuse. I never even found out what I was actuall accused of that time. Suzie McGarvey just said that Emma claimed the abuse was still going on, but never told me anything specific. (Great job, Suzie! Just let your clients say whatever they want and don’t call them on it! As long as they pay and keep comint to therapy, they can say whatever they want, right?) I guess I should have pushed for that information, but at the time I was so distraught and shocked that Emma was pulling this stunt again that I just didn’t think of it. (Later, I did find out about Emma’s famous bruised arm, which written in another post so I’m not going to write it again here.) A couple of weeks later, my loving husband would want to know every detail of my schedule so he could have a sheriff’s deputy remove me from my home while he was out.

Of course, Phill wasn’t going to mess SEFF Week, so while his family was falling apart, he went down to Americus, Ga. To fly airplanes, hang out with all his new RC buds and drink beer. To be honest, I don’t even know if he took Emma that year or left her with Judy and John Hall, our neighbors who kept Emma when she couldn’t stay home with her abusive mother. She was in school at the time, and had missed so much, she should have been home and going to school, but Phill had his priorities and SEFF Week was more important than his family or his daughter’s school attendance

A year or so later, I was to hear from a few of Phill’s SEFF Week friends, whose names will be witheld from the blog. I got to hear some of the stories Emma told down at SEFF, including the one about me poisoning Emma with DDT and Emma claiming to have the toxicology report as proof.

I have to wonder, did Emma choose that time to once again accuse me of abusing her to stop me from going to SEFF Week? Was she afraid if I went down there and met people she’d been telling lies to that she would be exposed? She could trash talk her mom, but if people actually me her mom, they might find out she wasn’t this ogre that Emma described. Oh, no! Emma’s mom going to SEFF Week could ruin everything for her! Is this why Emma chose that particular time to cry abuse yet again? Only Emma knows her motives, and for now they are a mystery, but I have figured out a few things, and I may be on the right trail with my guess about this one.

Coming up next…………………….I think I’ll write about my latest experience with Denial Daddy. Everyone needs a superpower!

Emma Changes Churches **Updated 9/13/16

Posted on September 13, 2016 by losingemma

Emma and Holy Trinity Anglican Church

holytrinity

This is one of those posts that is way out of order, so if you are one of my regular readers just skip down to the ************************ below while I give a brief introduction for my new readers as to what was going on at the time of which I’m writing about. I have 17 years of Emma’s life to write about, and then eventually, I will go back and put everything in order.

In late 2009, Emma had been really, really ugly to her dad, claiming her called her a “bitch” and a “slut” on a daily basis, saying she did not like the way her dad touched her, etc. Then, on her 16^th birthday, Dec. 19, 2009, as Phill and I picked her up from her church youth group, Emma told us she’d received a call from her on-line friend, “Lacey” who lived in Dalton, Ga., and that “Lacey” had been raped and called Emma from the ER and was hysterical. Then the story changed to “Lacey” had tried to commit suicide after being raped.

A few months later, on her dad’s birthday, March 21, 2010, Emma told her dad and I that she had been molested by a priest when she was 12 and claimed that the catalyst for bringing up her repressed memories was “Lacey’s” rape and suicide attempt. Emma had been speaking to one of her church youth group leaders about her “molestation” and this woman had reported it to our church Deacon who go involved on Emma’s behalf and found out what we had to do formally to file a complaint with the church……………………….then the police and DFACS got involved……………………….and you can go back through the blog for more of that part of the story.

At the time, we’d gone to our church for maybe 10 years. I thought we had a church home where we would continue to go for years and years and that maybe one day my daughter would get married there. Emma was very involved in many activities at church: Sunday School (both going and then assistant teaching when she was in 9^th grade), the children’s choir, VBS, the newsletter group, the youth group, serving as an acolyte and a lay reader….. anything she wanted to be involved in, Phill and I made sure she was able to be there.

During this time, Emma got her heart broken by a boy who was interested in her and then dropped her and was paying attention to another girl. She was also failing her on line physics class, and these two events may have contributed greatly to Emma making up the “molestation” story. Emma was always a good student as long as it was a subject she was interested in, so she should not have been failing, but at the time, I think Emma spent way too much time writing letters to “Lacey” and on-line chatting with “Lacey” and other students, and not doing her schoolwork.

******************************************************************

So, at this point, we’d filed a complaint with the church, dealt with the sheriff’s department, DFACS, Gwinnett Co. detectives, therapists, etc. Emma and I were the ones to make all the decisions about these things, with a lot of help and advice from our church Deacon who also wanted to see this situation handled properly. Phill was very passive and left everything to me to decide how to handle things. I would try to talk things over with him, but he never voiced any opinion about how we should proceed. It probably should have been something we worked together on, but he took a passive role. Of course, if Emma’s parents hadn’t been idiots, we would have investigated some of her stories and caught on to her lying a lot sooner, but that is water under the bridge. We certainly we not going to call up “Lacey’s” parents, whom we’d never met, and ask about the rape and suicide attempt. Even when we were going through the divorce, my attorney was very uncomfortable with getting in touch with “Lacey’s” parents just because if the story turned out to be true, it seemed like such an intrusion into the family. Later on, when my attorney discovered how much Emma had lied about, he didn’t feel like you could trust anything Emma said, and Phill’s attorney had issues with Emma as well.

So……………………we are cruising along with all this drama. We went to church sporadically, and Emma pretty much quit going. Because of the way the church handled, or seemingly ignored our complaint (The incident was reported in March, and we did not hear from anyone until the Bishop came to our home in July to speak with us.) I was not comfortable going to our church anymore either. Phill was ambivalent and would go to church if I was going, but had no opinion about anything either way.

We pretty much quit going to church, and then Emma visited a few churches, checking out the youth Sunday School classes, and she continued to go to the youth group at 12 Stone church at Hamilton Mill in Buford Ga., but she didn’t want to go to church there. It was a huge church, and very different than what we were used to. One of the things that bothered Emma was that some of the modern churches had no icons. It was like walking into an auditorium. There wasn’t a cross to be seen.

Another story that was interesting was when Emma went to visit Hamilton Mill Methodist Church. I had dropped Emma off for Sunday School and then she went to church and I met her afterwards. I don’t remember Emma’s specific complaints about the Sunday School class. It was something fairly mild like they just sat around a table and didn’t do anything, but the more interesting comments came after she went to church. If you remember the story about the couple that Phill and I played cards with, and how Emma did not like their son and later claimed he destroyed a book that belonged to her, thus pretty much ending the friendship between the parents, Emma claimed that this family was sitting in front of her at church. (Oh, my! Emma could not go to church there! Since her arch enemy was her age, they would be in the same Sunday School class! She simply could not have that!) I thought this was odd because they had left our church and had been attending another church, in Sugar Hill, Ga., when we were still friends, and I knew they were quite happy where they were going. Another reason I questioned this story was because I knew this family, and if they came to church, they usually attended Sunday school as well. It’s possible they could have changed churches again, but I always wondered if Emma made up this story just because she did not like Hamilton Mill Methodist for whatever reason.

NOTE: Had I to do it over again, I wish now we’d sat Emma and the young man down together and not let either one go until we got the truth out of who destroyed Emma’s book. It’s sad that a friendship between parents ended based on the lies of a child. This is another example of how much control and power we inadvertently gave to Emma.

One day we visited Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Flowery Branch, Ga.

www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org

Holy Trinity was a very small church, but the liturgy was very similar to what we were used to, so of course it was very comfortable to us. (Phill was not interested in participating in finding a new church and pretty much left it up to Emma and me. He would go when we decided where we wanted to go, but he was not going to visit churches and participate in deciding where we would like to go for worship. )

After a couple of visits, Emma and I liked Holy Trinity, but it was hard for me to leave my old church behind. Being somewhat of an introvert, it took me a long time to feel comfortable there, and I wasn’t eager to leave and start over somewhere else. My heart just wasn’t in it. I finally told Emma if she really wanted to go there we probably needed to talk to the pastor and let him know why we were looking for a church, so Emma called up Fr. George Ivey and told him her story. Emma got off the phone, and immediately told me that Fr. George knew the priest Emma had accused and said that when she told him about her “molestation,” even before she said who, Fr. George told her that that priest was the first person he thought of. I’m not sure what kind of bad blood there was between Fr. George and the other priest, but I do remember him telling us about when the Anglican Bishop visited and that priest refused communion from him.

Anyway, Fr. George wanted to meet with us, so Phill, Emma and I went to Fr. George and Paulette Ivey’s beautiful home in Buford, Ga. Sure enough, Emma wasn’t lying this time, Fr. George told us that when Emma told him about being “molested” the first person he thought of was the man Emma had accused.

Fr. George was comforting and supportive, and I felt better about going to a new church since he knew why we were looking for a new church home. Fr. George also got very involved with Emma’s drama, helping to find attorneys, going to interviews, etc.

We began attending Holy Trinity which meant Sunday School, then coffee, and then church. As I mentioned, the church was very small. Sunday School might consist of about 10 people and church might be about 20-25. There were only a few other teens, so there really wasn’t much to offer in the way of a youth group, but Emma didn’t mind. She seemed to prefer being around adults anyway. Partly, I think Emma preferred adults because adults were to eaisly impressed with how smart, polite, etc. she was. She gave a great first impression. (If you have read Dr. Richard Born’s Psychological Evaluation of Emma, you will remember that he mentioned she was not comfortable around her peers.)

Phill and I loved Fr. George’s Sunday School classes. He was the best Sunday School teacher we’d ever had. We felt bad that the church was so small and people were missing out on such interesting and informative classes. Fr. George was an extremely smart man and he had a passion for studying and learning and he generously shared his knowledge. While it wouldn’t have been near as lucrative as his business career, Fr. George would have made a great teacher. Paulette Ivey, however, was an elementary school teacher at Ivy Creek Elementary School, in Buford, Ga.

Things rolled along. Emma began serving as an acolyte at our new church……. Emma was still going to therapy, working on her “sexual molestation” and we were dealing with things with our old church. Fr. George knew someone who worked in, I believe it was the ER, in a hospital in Cumming, Ga., and had discussed Emma’s story with her. She had recommended an attorney firm nearby, and we set up an interview with them. Fr. George went with Phill, Emma, and I to meet two attorneys at this firm. They were interested in Emma’s story, but claimed not to have the “war chest” it would take file the lawsuit against the church.

It was around Oct. of 2010 that I said something to Emma about Allen Hunt. Allen Hunt was a Methodist minister (now Catholic) who had a radio program on WSB radio on Sunday evenings that I, and often Emma, enjoyed listening to. I knew he did work raising money for a home for abused children, and I wondered if he could help us. Emma asked me to write him, and I suggested she write to him as I thought it would mean more coming from her, the “victim.”

Now, Phill likes to say that I, the evil mommy, forced Emma to sit down and write an e-mail to Mr. Hunt. I can assure you that I did not, but I guess Phill can use his standby line that oh, yes I did, but I “blocked it out” and have no memory of forcing Emma to sit at the computer and compose and send an e-mail.

Emma happily wrote off an e-mail and sent it. We quickly received a reply from Mr. Hunt who recommended a place for counseling and who also recommended the firm of Cruiser and Mitchell in Norcross, Ga. Bill Mitchell was a personal friend of Allen Hunt’s and in fact, Mr. Hunt called Mr. Mitchell to tell him about Emma’s story. When I called to set up an appointment, Mr. Mitchell wanted to meet with us right away. I called Fr. George who dropped everything to meet us at the firm’s office.

Fr. George was a tremendous help in explaining the hierarchy of the church, rules, etc. to the attorneys. I won’t go into detailing that meeting again as I have already told that story. For those of you who haven’t read it, you will have to go back through earlier posts in the blog.

Not long after we started attending Holy Trinity, we went to the ordination of Bishop Foley Beach in Atlanta. Foley Beach had left the Episcopal church after the 2003 General Convention in which a homosexual, Gene Robinson was elected Bishop of the Diocese of New Hampshire. Bishop Robinson was the first openly gay priest to be consecrated in the Episcopal church, and for anyone in the church during this time, there was a lot of fall out over Bishop Robinson. Our particular church had been growing and had gone to three services on Sunday mornings, but after the General Convention and Bishop Robinson’s consecration, a lot of folks left the church, some temporarily, and some permanently. Our three services were cut to two, but could have easily been cut to one. I think they only kept the 8:30 (early service) for the people who wanted to come to church early so they could get on with their day. If you went to the 10:30 service, by the time you got out and got home, the day was half over, and the early risers didn’t want to waste their day.

Phill was working, but Emma and I went to Bishop Beach’s ordination along with our friend, Janice, who’d grown up as a neighbor of Foley Beach’s wife, Allison. Foley Beach had been the rector at St. Alban’s Epicopal Church in Monroe, Ga. until he left the church and then he became the rector at Holy Cross Anglican Church in Loganville before he became the Bishop.

Befoe meeting with Emma’s attorneys, Fr. George Ivey had spoken to Foley Beach and had told us that Foley Beach was meeting with the Episcopal church and that he would talk to Bishop Alexander about Emma. Just before the ordination of Foley Beach as Bishop, we had settled on Emma’s attorney, and I will never forget going through the receiving line, shaking hands with Bishop Foley Beach, and he said to Emma and I that he understood we were in good hands now, indicating we did not need his help. A short time later, I would be greatly disappointed in both Fr. George Ivey and Archbishop Foley Beach.

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Fr. George met Emma and I at the offfices of Cruiser and Mitchell, and we had an interview with Bill Mitchell and one of his associates, whom I believe was named Drew Ashby. The funny thing was, one of Phill’s RC buddies, Mike ( Mike Howell, I believe, but there were several Mikes in the RC group), had given Phill the name of an attorney for us to check out, and it happened to be Stephen Ashby, in Tucker, Ga., who was Drew’s father.

While Mr. Mitchell questioned Emma, Fr. George, and me, Drew Ashby took a lot of notes. At one point, I remember Emma stepped out, and Mr. Mitchell wanted to talk to me without Emma. (Hey, Dr. Richard Born, are you listening? This is something you missed when you did your Psych Eval on Emma!) Emma did a great job, acted very professional and mature as she acted out her drama for the attorneys. She explained how her friend “Lacey’s” rape was the catalyst for her remembering her own molestation when she was 12 years old. She went into detail about the priest following her into the women’s bathroom, pulling down her panties, and sticking a finger into her vagina. She answered all the attorneys questions confidently and was very composed. A couple of things that stood out to me from this session:

Mr. Mitchell said he would need to speak to Phill because often times when a child falsely accusess someone of sexual abuse, they are doing it to cover up the fact that it is someone close to them who molested them. (I have to wonder if this was where Emma got the idea to accuse her mother of abuse. Maybe one day, Emma will let me know.)

Mr. Mitchell mentioned that their firm takes one out of 1000 cases, and he wanted to take Emma’s case. He said he believed Emma and Drew believed Emma so strongly that he wasn’t sure Drew could be objective about Emma’s case.

Mr. Mitchell was firmly against the death penalty. As one who’s always favored the death penalty, when Mr. Mitchell talked about Project Innocence and explained his reasoning and cases he’d worked on, he gave me some things to think about after hearing his perspective.

When Fr. George asked how much we could expect to get from this lawsuit, Mr. Mitchell stated, “The sky is the limit.” His plan was to sue the priest, the church, and the diocese. He would have investigators look into the background of the priest, and they would have to interview Emma’s friend, “Lacey.” A short time later, Emma began making plans on how to spend her money. She could buy a car, use the money for college and would be able to afford to go away to college and not have to live at home, etc. She got a little giddy about her prospective windfall, and that worried me A LOT. I tried to explain to her that this was not about the money, that it was about punishing someone who did something very wrong.

After the interview, Emma and I felt very confident about the situation and indeed felt like we were in good hands. We walked outside with Fr. George and he stood with us in the parking lot and prayed before we all went separate ways.

As Emma and I were leaving, I asked her if she was ok with the attorneys talking with “Lacey” and Emma said she was. She said she had told “Lacey” that we were meeting with the attorneys and that they might need to speak with her and that “Lacey” was ok with it. (At this point, I did not know the whole story of “Lacey” being raped and attempting suicide was one of Emma’s big lies.) Emma had been worried about having to face her “sexual abuser” in court, but after meeting with Mr. Mitchell and Mr. Ashby, Emma said to me, “You know mom, with these lawyers helping me, I could testify in court!”

Emma was almost jubilant as we drove home. She had done a convincing job and had two attorneys that believed her. I guess she was proud of her performance. After dealing with the church attorney the month before (another post I need to write) who was quite unpleasant, I felt comfortable that we had someone looking out for our, but especially for Emma’s best interests.

Just after this meeting, I had to get some papers notarized and faxed back to the attorneys offices. Phill and I rushed around like mad and went to meet a friend from the ladies Bible study that Emma and I attended because she was a notary. I remember us dropping everything to meet her at the Braselton Cracker Barrel on her way home from work so that we could sign and she could notarize. No big deal to Emma that her parents were doing all this for nothing. Emma already knew the lawsuit would have to be stopped and she was working on her plan for stopping it. I hate thinking of how much time and energy was wasted by all parties on Emma’s little drama. Not just my time, but the time of the police, DFACS, social workers, the church, whom I’m sure all had better things to do than take a role in a 16 year old girl’s drama.

If you’ve read the blog, you know that just as Mr. Mitchell was about to file Emma’s lawsuit, Emma had Dr. Elizabeth (Genie) Burnett call the police to say Emma was being abused by her Mother (dramatic music playing in the background). You can read the police report earlier in the blog. I’m not going to rehash that here. I’ve already told that part of Emma’s story, but I wanted to tell about the church’s involvment, particularly Fr. George Ivey’s involvement in Emma’s drama.

In March of 2011, when Emma pulled her, “I want to live in a group home.” at the office of Suzie McGarvey, one of her many therapists, Phill fell apart and couldn’t handle Emma’s problems. Omigosh, his wife was a child abuser! What an idiot (ok that part is true) that it took him 17 years to see that! What an idiot that he had lived with this woman for over 28 years and he never knew she was violent! He had to have a divorce! And besides, there were other fish in the sea!

When Phill turned on me and decided to support Emma, I had no idea what was to come, that Phill would take out a TPO and have me thrown out of my home. My thoughts were to save my family and my marriage. I suspected there was something deeper going on. At this point I hadn’t discovered all Emma’s lies. I didn’t know that “Lacey” wasn’t actually raped, didn’t attempt suicide, her mother didn’t almost die of breast cancer, or that Emma had lied about many, many other things. I was trying to save my family. Even though I was angry at Phill for being so stupid, I thought surely he would come to his senses (boy was I wrong there!).

Phill and I discussed meeting with Fr. George for counseling, and if you’ve read the blog, Phill did go to on therapy session to try to save his marriage. I had talked to Fr. George after Emma accused me of abuse, and he told me he would never believe it. He’d been through his own drama with his two son’s and their addiction/substance abuse problems. Paulette had even told us about one time when he knocked down the bedroom door to their son’s room.

Fr. George told me he saw us every week in church, and he’d noticed how much Emma leaned on me, rested her head on my shoulder, held my hand, put her arm around me, grabbed my arm and put it around her, etc. She was such a touchy feely kid towards me, there was no way he believed she was abused.

After Phill had me thrown out of our home, Fr. George changed his mind about meeting with us about counseling. I knew there’d been a divorce where he’d tried to counsel the couple, and he was called to testify at the divorce. I didn’t know the couple and didn’t know anything about the divorce. I got an e-mail from Fr. George saying he did not want to get involved and one of the funny things I remember was that he mentioned that they tried to make him perjure himself. I thought it kind of funny that he spelled perjure wrong.

This was one of my biggest disappointments in Fr. George Ivey. He knew our family was in crisis. He did not believe Emma, and we were parishioners at his church. I always thought a priest was supposed to care for his flock. Fr. George seemed to care more about the thought of possibly being inconvenienced with his fear of having to testify in another divorce case than he cared about a family in his church. That hard to fathom. I lost all respect for Fr. George after this. I know priests/pastors are human and just as flawed as the rest of us, but I thought caring for your parishioners was part of the job. It seemed that Fr. George just wanted to lecture and stand in front of his church, but God help him if he actually had to get his hands dirty.

Because of the TPO, I could no longer attend church if Phill and Emma were there. My only hope was to get Phill to counseling, so that he could realize Emma had some problems, but Phill decided there was too much water under the bridge and he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. He had no desire to fix our family or our marriage. And besides, SEFF was the following month, and he sure wasn’t going to miss that!

I also sent a letter to Archbishop Foley Beach, since he’d been aware of our drama, explaining what was going on. I got a nice little card from him saying I was in his prayers. (Much easier than actually getting involved.)

To be continued…………

Trifecta Part 2, Daddy’s Family (Part 1)

Posted on May 31, 2016 by losingemma

Emma Katherine Roey

Daddy’s Family

Emma, I’m writing a couple of these posts to you, and then I will get back to writing about you. I would much rather write to you privately, but since I don’t want to be threatened with a restraining order, I will have to do it here. I had hoped, when you grew up, we could discuss these things and you could learn from my mistakes. I don’t want to trash your dad’s family, but I will tell you how things were from my perspective and from what your dad told me. I think you know about a lot of the “scandals” so I’m not going into the details on those.

By now, I think you’ve realized that every family is dysfunctional. You know about my family life because we discussed it, but I don’t think your dad ever really discussed his with you. I can only tell you what he told me and what I saw for myself. I hope that learning about your family helps you figure out who you are, and by learning about your dad’s family, you will understand why your dad couldn’t face what you did, how he doesn’t like to argue or confront anyone, or do anything difficult.

Your dad grew up in a pretty tumultuous household. He always said he didn’t like to argue because all the fighting in his home growing up made him literally sick to his stomach and he hated arguing. Even after your dad and I had been married for years he claimed he didn’t like to argue because he would still get sick to his stomach. And you know your dad and I could have a disagreement or an argument, and we still loved each other. By now, you’ve been married long enough to know you are going to have arguments with someone you live with so closely.

Daddy’s parents were divorced when he was a toddler, and fortunately they got along amicably. Your grandfather was very easy going and passive, so your grandmother kind of ran things, including his life. It was kind of funny when they came to visit. Everyone always thought it was so strange that your grandmother traveled with her ex-husband and her current boyfriend.

Your grandmother had two divorces and many boyfriends, according to your dad. The first marriage was very brief, and the second marriage sounded pretty bad right from the start, and there was a lot of fighting then. Your grandmother had quite a temper and could swear like a sailor, but she was a hard worker, very generous, and could be very loving and kind. It sounded to me like your grandmother was one of those people who didn’t feel validated without a man. When your dad was growing up, if she didn’t have a husband, she went from one boyfriend to the next. She was a real people person, if you saw her at the restaurant, and she chatted with everyone, was very friendly, and made her customers feel special. There were several male customers who paid a lot of attention to her. After your dad and I were married, even though she had a boyfriend, there was a man named Pat who hung around the restaurant a lot at the end of the day because he was very fond of your grandmother. I thought this was a little odd because he was married, and your dad mentioned that it had upset Kenny (her then boyfriend). For a while, Kenny wasn’t allowed to go up to the restaurant because he got too jealous of the men that paid attention to your grandmother. Your dad also told me that Pat at one time gave your grandmother the key to his safety deposit box that had something like $100,000.00 in it and it would all be hers if she married him or something like that.

Because your grandmother had to work as a waitress, your dad and his uncle were raised by their grandmother, Stella, until they got old enough that they were home alone. They were pretty young when they started staying home alone, but this was a different time. Your great grandma, Stella is another story, and I will tell you about her later.

Growing up, Daddy, as the older brother was expected to be the peacemaker and give in to his little brother. You dad described your uncle A. and a child who would hold his breath until he passed out or pitch a big fit if he didn’t get his way. To get things calm, Daddy always had to be the one to give in and do whatever little brother wanted.

When your dad and I were dating, your dad and Uncle A were roommates for a while after your dad’s roommates had gotten married, and your Uncle’s roommates had graduated college and moved on. Your uncle got a free apartment for being a police officer, and agreeing to handle calls, sort of like he was the apartment security when he was home. When your dad was home, he had to answer the calls.

Also, since your uncle got the free apartment, your dad had to pay for the utilities, which didn’t seem quite fair since your dad acted as security when your uncle wasn’t there. One time when I was over, your uncle pointed out that a certain cat food was on sale, and when your dad said that the cat was your uncle’s cat and not his, your uncle said that since he lived there, he should pay for part of the cat food.

A few times, your uncle went to a movie with your dad and I, and he would always ask your dad, “Aren’t you going to get some popcorn.” So that he could have some without having to buy it.

One time, your dad and I had been out on a Sunday and he was having car trouble. Daddy had to get up very early to be at UPS (his part time job before he became a driver) and he asked your uncle to borrow some tools to work on his car, and your uncle refused. They argued, and Daddy was upset and went to his room. Then your uncle wrote out a note and told me to deliver it to your dad. I can’t remember word for word what the note said, but it was something about telling your dad he needed to admit that he should have worked on his car earlier instead of waiting until the last minute and to apologize. It was so crazy and stupid to me, but your dad did what he had to do to borrow the tools, and he got the car running and made it to work .

After your dad and I were married, and after your cousin had been born, your uncle was too cheap to pay for trash pickup at the house, and he would take his trash to the police station and throw it out there. Your grandparents came down, and I guess Uncle A. had taken some time off work, and hadn’t taken his trash to work. They all came over to our house, and I will never forget your uncle opening up the trunk of his big old care and pulling out 17 large garbage bags and saying, “Here Phill, I thought you could put this out when you put your trash out.” I was pretty angry at the gall, but said nothing. Had your uncle asked us before hand, I don’t think I would have minded at all, but to just bring all that trash over to our house and not even say, “Would you mind…….!”

I had witnessed the way your uncle treated your dad for so long that I never much cared for your uncle. Your dad always thought he was the better looking brother who always got the girls, etc., but I always thought your dad was such a much more decent person than your uncle. They were very competitive. Once, before we were married, I went hiking with your dad, Uncle A., and a friend of your dad’s. It turned into a race up to Amicolola, which I have to say was one of the worst dates ever. Of course I tried, but couldn’t keep up with the three of them, and I when I hike or walk I want to enjoy the scenery, look at things, etc. It was not my idea of fun at all.

The one thing your dad did that was kind of funny, after we were married, was that every time we were around Uncle A., when we hadn’t seen him in a while, your dad would always find a reason to walk around behind your uncle when he was sitting down so that he could check our his hair loss. As your know, your grandfather was pretty bald, and I figured both the boys would head that way eventually, but your dad had a lot more hair than Uncle A., and I guess that was the one thing he felt superior about.

I’ve heard that your dad and Uncle A. get along better now, but in all the years we were married, there was only one brief time that they got along well, and that was when A.’s first wife threw him out and his mistress had married the father of her child, and was no longer available. A. was pretty sad and lonely and came over to see us some. We hung out, went to movies, went bowling and such. We introduced your uncle to a friend of ours and they became a couple right away, practically living together. She fell in love with him, and with his little girl. I much regretted introducing them when later, your Aunt K. dumped her husband and called Uncle A. Your uncle immediately dropped our friend with no explanation. She called my crying, with no clue as to why your uncle did not return her calls. It was horrible, and I was so sorry for even being a part of it.

Except for this brief spell of niceness, your uncle was always rude and condescending to your dad, and I didn’t have much use for him. I loved your dad and your dad was such a good person, that I hated seeing him treated this way by his own brother.

Shortly before you pulled all your “my mother is abusing me” stuff, your dad and I had talked about getting together with your dad and his family. We hadn’t seen the girls in several years, and I think we were ready to try and have a relationship with your uncle’s family again. Your dad and I were talking and your dad still had some anger towards his brother when he told me, “He cheated on every girlfriend he ever had, he cheated on his first wife, and I no doubt he’s probably cheated on K. (second wife) too.” That kind of surprised me.

I know you know the problems that were going on with your cousins, and to be honest, your dad and I weren’t sure we wanted you around them. Of course now, it sounds as if all three girls have grown up and gotten themselves together. Little did I know that you would be the one whose problems made theirs pale in comparison.

To be continued…

Emma and the English Teacher (completed5/01/16)

Posted on April 19, 2016 by losingemma

Emma and the English Teacher (Jefferson High School, Jefferson, Ga.)

After doing (and not doing) 10th grade on line, Emma attended Jefferson High School 2010-2011 as a junior. To be fair to Emma, she missed the first week of school because we’d had a trip planned with my sister before we knew when school started. I gave Emma the choice, and of course she wanted to go on the trip, and Phill and I felt, remembering our own school days, that she wouldn’t miss much the first week and could easily get caught up. We also talked to the school about Emma missing her first week, and we assured that it was not an issue. Looking back now, with Emma starting at a new school, that was probably a bad decision, and as her mother, I am to blame for everything, at least according to Emma.

The two classes I thought Emma would like best turned out to be the classes she hated most. Emma took Drama with a teacher named Roger Bright. Mr. Bright’s claim to fame was a small role in the television series “Christy” in 1994-1995. Unlike Bonnie Roberts’ class, at Jackson County Comprehensive High School (JCCHS), Emma was not the star student, but was just another student, one of many. She didn’t get any special treatment, didn’t even get a part in the play, and she hated Mr. Bright.

According to Emma, there were moms who did all kinds of things for Mr. Bright, including babysitting the class while he went off in another room, and did not conduct class, and these were the kids who got the attention and parts in the plays.

The other teacher Emma complained about, even more than Mr. Bright was Janet Schwartz, her English teacher. Mrs. Schwartz was thought of very highly by students, parents, and other teachers. If you go to Ratemyteachers.com, you can read some comments that others have written about Mrs. Schwartz.
Emma came home with stories everyday about Mrs. Schwartz and how unfair she was and how poorly she treated Emma, or maybe, how she treated poor Emma!

I asked Emma to keep a list of her complaints and here are some of them:

On their idiom quiz, Mrs. Schwartz took 10 points off Emma’s grade because she used pencil to write her ansers. She spoke to Mrs. Schwartz after class and asked if she could get half credit because she had not been informed of Mrs. Schwartz’s policies. Mrs. Schwartz told Emma that she was supposed to copy someone’s notes, which she had done, but they did not mention the pens and pencils policy. Mrs. Shwartz told Emma she would under no circumstances reconsider her grade and would take off an additional 5 points for Emma’s “disputing her decision.” Emma said she asked Mrs. Schwartz at both the open hose and on her first day for any material she might have missed, and Mrs. Schwartz did not explain her policies or give her any handouts besides the idioms list and syllabus.

On Aug. 18, 2010, Mrs. Chwartz mentioned a vocabulary quiz that would be on Friday. Emma didn’t know what she was talking about, so she asked the other students who told her that they were given the vocabulary list the first day of school. Emma said she was never given the list, although she’d asked Mrs. Schwartz for hand—outs both on her first day of school and at orientation. She only had two days to learn 60 vocabulary words!

One story that Emma complained to me about, but did not write down, was about their term papers. Mrs. Schwartz put up a list of topic, and Emma knew which topic she wanted. When she asked Mrs. Schwartz for the topic she’d chosen, Mrs. Schwartz told her the topics wouldn’t be assigned until the next day. The next day, Emma asked Mrs. Schwartz if she could sign up for her topic, and Mrs. Schwartz told her she had already given that topic to someone else the day before. (I am interjecting this story here because the next paragraph is about Emma’s term paper.—Emma’s Mom.)

On working on the bibliographies for their term papers that were due that day, Emma brought her bibliography, done in MLA format because that was the format she had previously used in other English classes. Mrs. Schwartz announced that they would be checking each other’s Works Cited sheets according to the guide in their Writer’s Inc. books. Emma saw several of her classmates pull out this books which she had never seen before. Emma told Mrs. Schwartz that she did not have this book, and Mrs. Schwartz issued her one, however she had to re-do her bibliography because she had not told her this in the first place.

When Emma saw Savannah reading Gone with the Wind, she asked what class she was reading it for. Savannah explained that they were supposed to begin reading it at the start of the school year, and they would have a test on it on Sept. 16th, only two weeks away. Emma claimed she knew nothing about this assignment.

Emma discovered she hand an older edition of Writer’s Inc., despite several newer editions being available. It was confusing because when Mrs. Schwartz would cite a page, it was not the same page in Emma’s book. The book also did not discuss how to cite web sources because it had been printed before web sources were common. When Emma asked Mrs. Schwartz about this, she told Emma she should have said something when she issued the book and she would not allow Emma to exchange her book.

Poor Emma! Always the victim.

After school started, I’d encouraged Emma to get involved in any extra circular activities she was interested in. She was in the dram club because there was some rule that if you took drama, you had to be in the drama club, and Emma hated it. No surprise there, since she hated Mr. Bright. I don’t remember Emma’s various complaints, but I remember one story about them playing ball (dodge ball) at drama club. I think Emma tried to make it sound like no drama was going on and it was all a waste of time. As to what really went on, I have no idea.

Some time after the beginning of the school year, Heather Thomspon, the school counselor who’s husband Allen Thompson was one of Emma’s teachers, called me and asked if Emma could stay after school a couple of times a week or so to help in the office. Of course I said it was fine, but I was disappointed that Emma was doing this. I was hoping she’d find something to do with other kids and make some friends, but instead, Emma hung out with Ms. Thompson and complained about her home life, how badly she was treated, how she was afraid to go home to her her horrible mother, etc. By this time, Emma knew the ropes and knew that if she kept making stuff up, by law, her teacher were obligated to report Emma’s horrible home situation to DFACS. She’d learned this well when she told her Physics teacher she’d been molested and DFACS showed up at the door. Poor Emma! She needed to be taken away from her unsafe home environment!

(BTW, Heather Thompson has left Jefferson High School, and started her own little business called Gateway Consultation, College and Career Planning Services. http://www.gatewayconsulation .com in Athens, Ga. She has bleached her hair with the dark roots. It is kind of a very different look from the brown haired young woman with braces that I met at Jefferson High School.)

Heather Thompson was in a quandary! Because Emma was going through major episodes of vomiting with the stress of the church attorney who was investigating her claim of being sexually abused by the priest, Emma missed a lot of school, and I had to go meet with Ms. Thompson one afternoon. I remember sitting in her office, tearfully telling her Emma’s sad story of sexual molestation, dealing with the church, finding an attorney, etc. Ms. Thompson was very sweet and kind and said if Emma wanted to talk to her, she was always welcome to. Boy did Emma want to talk to her! She had someone new to perform for!

I really didn’t find out about what Emma was doing and saying to Ms. Thompson until later, in one of our sessions with Suzie McGarvey (North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) when she stated that poor Heather Thompson was so distraught about what to do about Emma. She didn’t know if she should believe her or call the authorities to have Emma removed from her home or what? Heavens!

I’d spoken to Heather Thompson a couple of times concerning Emma’s complaints about Mrs. Schwartz. It did not sound like Emma was being treated fairly. Heather Thompson decided a meeting would be a good idea. She asked that Phill and I come in, and then she would bring in Mrs. Schwartz and Emma.

Poor Mrs. Schwartz was blindsided. She didn’t understand what the meeting was about. She thought Emma was a wonderful student and had wanted her to try out for some oratory competition that she thought Emma could do really well at.

We brought up Emma’s complaint about her book, and Mrs. Schwartz said of course Emma could exchange the book. Phill and I went to Mrs. Schwartz’s room with her and she showed us around, talked about the class, and of course exchanged Emma’s book.

Phill and I left, very satisfied that we’d stood up for our poor, picked on daughter. Phill said he wondered if Mrs. Schwartz was somewhat senile or had some dementia. She sort of stammered out many of her responses.

NOW, let me tell you what I think really happened. Mrs. Schwartz probably thought Emma was a great student, and was probably really pleased with her progress in class. Emma is a smart girl and worked hard at things she was interested in.

I do think we totally blindsided Mrs. Schwartz. (I kind of know how she feels.) She was having a typical day when she was called into the office in front of the principal, the school counselor, and two irate parents over a student who she was very pleased with. I believe that is why she was thrown off and stammered a bit.

As for Emma’s book, yes, it was out of date and not the same as the others, but I believe Emma never said anything about the book to Mrs. Schwartz. I think Emma wanted to make her parents upset with her story, so she never asked for another book. She brought home the book as well as a classmate’s book, so that she could show her parents that the evil Mrs. Schwartz was trying to make life difficult on Emma by giving her a book that didn’t match up with the other books, so that if she called out a page number, Emma could not find the correct page without doing some hunting.

Oh, and as for the oratory competition that Mrs. Schwartz was so excited about having Emma try out for? Mrs. Schwartz had told us that she and the drama teacher, Mr. Bright, would be working with Emma if she chose to enter the competition. Why, this sound right up Emma’s alley, doesn’t it? She loves drama and performing!

When I’d ask about the competition, Emma kept telling me that Mrs. Schwartz hadn’t announced it yet. I knew this was a lie, but I also knew I wasn’t going to make Emma enter a competition if she didn’t want to. She would do a sorry job and end up wasting everyone’s time if it wasn’t something she wanted to do. I waited and waited and finally asked Emma to e-mail Mrs. Schwartz about the competition. Sure enough, Emma had missed the deadline. Surprise, surprise.

Sometime later, maybe in 2012 or 2013, I had an occasion to meet Mrs. Schwartz and her husband. I did not tell her that I was Emma’s mom. I am now ashamed of the lies I’m sure Emma told about Mrs. Schwartz and that I was stupid enough to believe them. I found Mrs. Schwartz to be an absolutely delightful woman, and saw no signs of dementia or senility. Another good manipulation by my dear daughter. As a homeschooled child, and with her classes in the small homeschool groups, Emma was used to being a star student. Mrs. Schwartz probably treated Emma like every other student, and she didn’t get all the attention she was used to getting. She didn’t make any friends at school, so Emma once again had to be the victim to get attention.

Another Emma Believe It Or Not

Posted on March 13, 2016 by losingemma

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Buchheim, Katie Smith, Emma Kate Roey, Sophie Buchheim

Recently, I was traveling, and while driving along the coast and seeing the signs to Savannah, something popped into my head. I believe Emma was in 6th grade when the church youth group went on a try to Jekyll Island, Ga. to learn a little about bird banding. There was a couple at our church, Mr. and Mrs. P. who spent every fall banding birds and recording information. They’d been doing this for years. Emma seemed to enjoy the trip despite her complaining about the other kids. There was the one young lady that Emma never got along with, and Emma talked about how she latched on to one of the boys and spent the whole trip with him. (Perhaps a little jealousy there.)

This was also the trip where Emma complained about the new youth leader letting the girls watch the program “Sex and the City” and claimed that she picked up her sleeping bag and moved it to the kitchen. She claimed she told the group that she didn’t think her parents would want her watching that program. Whether or not that’s true, who knows? I think I can easily picture Emma making that story up to make herself sound a little high and mighty.
In 2007, Mrs. P. invited Emma and I to go to Jekyll while they were bird banding, since she knew we homeschooled and had a somewhat flexible schedule. We took her up on her offer and drove down there that September for a few days. Jekyll was beautiful, and learning about the bird banding was very interesting. We weren’t allowed to remove the birds from the nets, but we could hold the birds once they were handed to us. I was thrilled when I was able to recognize the subtle differences in some of the birds because when we first started, they all looked alike! In addition to Emma and myself, there was Mr. and Mrs. P, their grown son, and a friend of theirs who came down just before we left. Over dinner conversation, it was very clear that the politics of the group was liberal leaning, and Emma, being very opinionated, even as an 8th grader, did not like the conversations. As a mostly conservative myself, I agreed with somethings that were said and didn’t agree with some things, but it doesn’t upset me if my opinions differ from those around me. Emma, on the other hand, had no use for people whose perspectives were different from her own.
All in all, bird banding was a great educational experience.
A year or so later, when Emma was doing school on line, some of the ladies at church started a sewing group, and I thought Emma might enjoy that. Often, if I could let Emma do something without me, I would, to try to give her a little space without mommy always being around, so I took her to the group, but didn’t stay.
When I picked Emma up, she seemed to have enjoyed the group, but then started complaining about Mrs. P. and how she put down homeschooling, going on about homeschoolers being unsocialized, etc. Emma claimed that when Mrs. P. made some derogatory comment about homeschooling, Emma piped up and said, “Well, I’ve never known a pregnant homeschooler.”
Then Emma said, that another woman from our church, the mother of Savannah, one of the girls in the youth group, said something like, “Good one, Emma.”
I remember telling Phill about the incident, and it never occurred to us that it might not be true. We were kind of proud of Emma for speaking up, but sometime later, something bothered me about this story.Mrs. P. was a classy, polite, articulate, considerate, educated, kind lady. She’d known Emma for years, and knew Emma was homeschooled. I just cannot believe that she would have been putting down homeschooling in front of Emma, knowing that Emma was homeschooled, even if she did have feelings thoughts about it. She just wasn’t that type of person.
Have I called up Mrs. P. to ask her if this story even happened? No. I just classify this story under another Believe it or Not, and I’m not buying it.
So many times, I saw Emma be very judgmental against someone whose politics were different than Emma’s. That’s all it took for her to decide she didn’t like someone. I certainly hope she outgrows this behavior and can learn that people who think differently than you do can still have a lot to offer.
After we told my sister about Emma’s accusation of “molestation,” she later told me that Emma immediately told her that the priest she accused “molesting” her was a democrat. Doesn’t it seem a little odd that you claim to have been sexually abused by a priest, and one of the first things you tell someone about the situation is that he was a democrat?
I know this story is mall in comparison to some of the other things Emma’s done, but I think some of these small stories give you better insight into Emma’s personality, so I want to share them.
And Emma, I will give you credit for one thing though. You were right about your dad. I always joked about your dad being super smart but I wondered about his common sense sometimes. I guess in some ways, he is as dumb as you always said he was. Later on, I will tell you about your dad’s family and his relationships with them, and you can sort of understand why he is the way he is. (I would prefer not to write about this on the blog, but since we can’t talk in person I guess I will have to. And besides, nothing your dad or his family has in their history can be as bad as being a child abuser and attempted murderer, right? BTW, have you recovered from the residual effects of the DDT? I hope you are happy and healthy.)

Thank you to my readers! Please feel free to write me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Happy Birthday, Emma!

Posted on December 20, 2015 by losingemma

Emma, I hope you had a wonderful 22nd birthday! Your first birthday as a married lady! Emma turned 22 on Dec. 19th.

And to my readers, I’m sorry to be so slow in finishing up my story about how Phill and Emma tried to get me to violate the Temporary Protective order. It’s coming! Like a lot of us, Nov. and Dec. are busy, busy! I am ready for things to slow down!

The other day, I had a facebook message that said I posted this picture 5 years ago:

I took this Photo when I was doing pet photos with Santa for the dog/cat rescue group we volunteered with. Emma always liked to assist me, helping people and pets get situated or making noises to get the pet to look at the camera, things like that. It was a challenging job as the pets weren’t always cooperative, but we had a lot of fun doing it and talking to people about their pets.

I loved this picture. Emma had that beautiful smile after all the torturing we did to her with braces. This picture was just a couple of short weeks before Emma had Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment and Counseling, 965 Oakland Rd, Bldg 3, Suites D&E,Lawrenceville, Ga 30044 Tel: 770-495-9775 Fax: 770-495-9745 GA.) call the police to say Emma was being physically abused by her mother. We had such a great time on this day. I certainly didn’t see any signs of abuse in the way Emma was acting. You’d think if her mother was abusing her, she wouldn’t want to go hang out with her mother at adoptions every Saturday. Funny.

As for Dr. Genie, Manna Treatment moved their practice from Duluth to Lawrenceville, opened and closed another location in Marietta, and hopefully is sticking to her forte of eating disorders. I’ve often wondered what therapists do when they mess up, especially a good Christian counselor like Dr. Genie. Apparently nothing. They certainly don’t want to admit they were taken in and fooled by a lying 16 year old. Doesn’t make them look very professional, does it?

Anyway, Emma, let me wish you a Merry Christmas, as I’m probably not going to have much time this week. I wanted to text you on your birthday and wish you a happy birthday, but I know you’d threaten me with a restraining order, so I certainly won’t do that and I’ll just keep writing here.

Thank you to my readers for you love and support.

Emma Getting Married—A Mother’s thoughts

Posted on August 15, 2015 by losingemma

Emma and fiance Tyler Albert Buchheim.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

For those of you attending Emma’s wedding, I hope everyone knows it is still Sept. 19, 2015, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, CA. Gee, I feel sorry for the people who go their plane tickets already  (wink wink) Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s an Ohio wedding?

In 2012, I heard Emma was engaged to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student from West Chester Township, Ohio, who attended Notre Dame University and whom Emma had met on line. I had mixed feelings. She was 19, and too young and immature to be engaged, and Tyler was her first boyfriend, but I was also saddened, no, heartbroken, that I didn’t hear about Emma meeting Tyler, falling in love, etc. from Emma. I felt like in addition to all I’d missed with Emma starting college, I’d missed hearing about something else that was so special in Emma’s life. She’s my daughter, and even with all the horrible things she’s done, I do love her, and I want to see her happy and to have a normal life, even though now I don’t think that is possible. Emma will never have a “normal” life.

I was sad at the thought of missing all the wedding things with Emma like seeing her walk down the aisle to marry the man she loves, helping her with arrangements, going dress shopping, attending her shower, etc.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Of course, later on, I was to find out that there was no engagement, according to Tyler’s mom, Sherry Buchheim, who e-mailed me several times and told me that Tyler was not ready to get in engaged, etc. Who knows, maybe Sherry was lying to cover up for Emma. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. I still find it odd that a family from Ohio would let their son’s girlfriend move from Georgia to Ohio, to move in with the boyfriend’s grandparents, if the relationship was not fairly serious. They’d even taken Emma on vacation to Hilton Head and even had professional pictures made of Emma and Tyler.

I felt obligated to warn Tyler’s family about what they were getting into, and saw no point in e-mailing a young man who was in love. Who would he believe? His girlfriend? Or her mother whom he’d never met? Instead, I contacted Tyler’s mother, Sherry Buchheim, and told her briefly what Emma had done. I gave her my name, address, phone number and e-mail address and told her I would be happy to answer any questions she might have. (I’ve already written about this, so dear readers, you can go back and read about “Bud the Boyfriend” to get the full story about Emma and Tyler Buchheim.) I knew that Emma marrying anyone was going to be a disaster.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Now, when I think about Emma getting married, it just makes me sad for her. What kind of marriage can she have? But then again, I am glad Emma’s getting married. She won’t be able to hide her crazy (with apologies to Miranda Lambert—I love that song!) forever, and once the newness and excitement wears off, and the young groom is close to Emma, living with her day in and day out, her husband is going to see that something’s not right. Eventually, the marriage will end in disaster, but of course, nothing will be Emma’s fault.

I was discussing this with a friend, who knew Emma a few years ago, and I guess after everything Phill and Emma put me through, I’ve come a long way. I was telling her that I don’t even feel like I’m missing anything by not attending Emma’s wedding because I feel like the whole thing is such a farce. Her marriage is just the countdown until the first divorce. Or, as my friend put it, it’s the countdown until the next train wreck.

Emma will have her wedding day, her pretty dress, her handsome groom, her wedding gifts, her honeymoon, and she will be the star of the show. But just wait until Act Two.

Special thanks to Face in Hole for the fun website! Emma and I used to do those Jib Jab things where you put the face in (or the dog’s face!) and when I saw this site, I thought this was the kind of thing we would have sat there and played with, laughing hysterically as we made funny pictures.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. This one reminds me of Hillary Clinton. Sorry, Emma, I know you would hate that comparison! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Letters to “Lacey” – Post Script (Updated 8/8/15)–more to come……..

Posted on August 7, 2015 by losingemma

Emma at the William Holland School in 2010. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma at the William Holland School in 2009, giving me a dirty look for taking her photo. This was a yearly trip we took with my sister for about 7 years. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Letter’s to Lacey – Post Script & Emma’s Purity Ring

I wanted to share Emma’s letters to “Lacey” to give my readers a better feel for what was going on in Emma’s head at that time. The letters are the writings of a teenage girl and written more like a diary. If you read through the letters, it would have been in Dec. of 2009 when Emma told her dad and I that “Lacey” had been raped and then tried to commit suicide. I won’t repeat the whole story here, but Phill and I had picked Emma up on her birthday, after her youth group. Emma was very upset and told us that “Lacey” had called her from the hospital and was hysterical………. You can go back and read the post where I already wrote about this.

I often wonder why Emma would do that to her “best friend” as she often called “Lacey.” Was it because she had never actually met “Lacey” so it would be easy to make up a story that no one would verify? I just don’t know enough about liars to understand why they do what they do. All kids lie. We all know that. A school counselor told me that lying becomes a problem when the lies hurt people. Then it goes beyond what is normal. Emma was lying and hurting people, most definitely. I don’t know when her lies started going too far, but as much as I love my daughter, I know she has a serious problem.

Lacey’s” parents also sent me some chat messages between Emma and “Lacey.” Most of them were pretty uneventful. In one chat message, after Phill had me thrown out of my home by the sheriff’s department, Emma told “Lacey” she and her dad were planning a rafting trip to TN, and since “Lacey” lived a couple of hours away, in NW Georgia, she asked about meeting up with her. Previously, Emma had tried several times to get “Lacey” to come visit. I had agreed if “Lacey’s” parents would allow her to visit that I’d be willing to drive halfway to meet up with her parents and pick “Lacey” up. Emma told me two Christmases in a row that “Lacey” was coming, and one spring break, and at least once over the summer, but these plans never materialized.

I find it odd that Emma still tried to meet up with “Lacey” when she and her dad were going white water rafting in TN. Emma told people that “Lacey” had been raped and attempted suicide, and she had the gall to ask her if she wanted “to meet up for coffee or something?” Did Emma not think that “Lacey” might not think there was something really wrong with this kid who told such horrible lies about her?

If you look up Narcissism on Wikipedia, you find: Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and others. Signs and Symptoms: People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy.[5]

Ding, ding, ding, ding!!

Emma is unable to see the destructive damage she causes to herself and to others! And, Emma is all about power (control).

Several people have told me they thought Emma was narcissistic, and I believe she is, but there’s more going on there than just that. I know Emma has some serious issues. Narcissism is only one of them. Emma accused me of having a Borderline personality, but I think Emma may have been diagnosing herself. Although, when Phill and I first read about Borderline Personality Disorder, Phill said this disorder described Sandra Brooks McCravy much more than it described me, the symptoms also describe Emma. Honestly, I think there’s a lot wrong with Emma. She may have parts of many other antisocial personality disorders, but we just didn’t have proper help to figure her out.

I know Emma has some serious issues, and I would guess some sort of antisocial personality disorder. From the signs we saw over the years, the lack of empathy, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, and nothing was ever Emma’s fault. Emma could be cold, calculating and manipulative, secretive, well organized, and egocentric. …Emma knew right from wrong, but rules didn’t apply to her. I think, having raised Emma and homeschooling her for 5 years, I knew her pretty well, but I had no idea what she was capable of. How do you admit you think your daughter could be a psychopath or a sociaopath? Psychopath was a term I heard all my life, but I never really knew the meaning. Phill used to call his mother’s live-in boyfriend, Kenny, a psychopath or a sociopath, but even then, I didn’t really know what those terms meant. After doing some research and talking to some professionals, I feel like I have a better understanding of psychopath vs. sociopath, and I truly believe Emma is a psychopath. As a mother, it breaks my heart to think my child is mentally ill, but what Emma has done goes beyond normal teenage rebellion
When Emma was growing up, she could be such a brat and so difficult about what she wanted, and it didn’t matter what was going on with the rest of the family, it just mattered that Emma got what she wanted. I used to think to myself sarcastically, “All that matters is that Emma gets what SHE wants!” or I might say to myself, “Well, Emma IS the center of the universe.”
I often wonder when that switch flipped for good. Emma could be my loving little girl who wanted to cuddle and talk things over with mom before bed, and she could be a cold, calculating, wicked being. At some point, the psychopath won out. Emma fed the wrong wolf. (From the Indian Proverb of the Two Wolves)
As a mother, what makes me sad is that if Emma is truly a psychopath, she doesn’t know what love is. She can pretend to love in order to get what she wants, but she will never know what it is to give your heart to another human being. It is hard to imagine someone being so self-centered that they can’t truly love those around them. I will write about my thoughts on Emma getting married in the next post, but it makes me sad for both her and her husband. Talk about a train wreck.

On Feb. 7, 2010, about a month and a half before Emma told us she’d been sexually molested by the priest, Emma sent “Lacey” a message about going to a bead show and buying herself a “promise ring.” Back in my day, a promise ring was like a pre-engagement ring that a high school boy might give a girl that he planned on marrying one day. I think Emma’s calling her ring a “promise ring” in the chat message might have been an error because she told me it was a “purity ring” and many times after that, I heard her refer to it as her purity ring. The ring was a little silver ring with a citrine stone. It was very pretty and looked nice on Emma.

Emma’s purity was very important to her. She wanted to remain a virgin until she married, and as a mother, you are glad to hear your 10th grader say that! With all the STDs to worry about, and all the unplanned pregnancies…………………….. I didn’t have a problem with her wanting to hold off on sex. Of course, but the age of 17, when Phill had me thrown out of my home, Emma had never even been on a date. Her thoughts about premarital sex might have changed once she had a boyfriend.

Emma’s own purity was one thing, but she held everyone else to her high standards. She spoke so terribly about everyone she knew at high school when she was in 9th grade at Jackson County Comprehensive High School. Emma made it sound like she was the only “good girl” in the whole place. Of course, Phill and I knew things had changed a lot from when we were in high school, so we just sort of assumed Emma knew what she was talking about. I think part of it may have been that Emma didn’t have any friends, so she made excuses by saying everyone else did drugs and was having sex so she didn’t want to be friends with any of these people anyway.

Someone told me that Emma seemed to have a superiority complex, and that I can believe. Emma and I attended a bible study down the street at a neighbor’s home with a group of women. There were a few members who had grandchildren that had been born to unwed parents. When the daughter of one of the women got pregnant and was not married, she started coming to our group. When we had a shower for this young woman, Emma was opposed to it. Emma felt like we were rewarding this young woman for her bad behavior. I thought this was a teaching moment, and I tried to discuss it with Emma. We talked about how lucky this girl was that she was living with her parents who were supportive and willing to help her. Also, Emma was very strongly Pro-Life, so I pointed out that this young woman could have chosen to have an abortion, but she didn’t. I thought we had some good conversations, but Emma was still very judgmental. Everyone was a sinner but Emma.

At one time, Phill had worried that Emma might be a lesbian. She didn’t show much interest in boys, but you have to admit that middle school boys can be kind of goofy. I wasn’t worried, just figuring she was not boy crazy. I think Emma was about 12 when we were at pet adoptions and walked across the street to Costco to get an iced coffee. We were walking back and chatting. I don’t remember exactly what we were chatting about, I think there had been a lesbian couple looking at a dog, but Emma commented on whatever we were talking about and then said , “Oh, I know I like boys!” I came home and told Phill he didn’t have to worry anymore.

One other thing that I think is funny about the purity ring and some of Emma’s letters was when she said she went somewhere. Maybe all teenagers do that, but Emma didn’t say, “My mom took me to a bead show.” She tried to make it sound like she was an adult and went by herself. I saw this in some of her other letters. I guess that was that teenager trying to be independent. Just over a year after Emma bought her purity ring, she got all the independence she wanted.

Coming up next: My thoughts on Emma’s upcoming marriage…….and for those of you that may have missed it, Emma’s wedding date is still Sept. 19, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, Ca. Gee, hope you all didn’t get your plane tickets already. Of course, Emma may be marrying Tyler Buchhein, an architecture student who lives in Ohio instead of Jackson Miller…………..just a little bug someone put in my ear………..but then, I haven’t received my invitation yet, but if you go to: http://registry.theknot.com/emma-roey-jackson-miller-september-2015/10942079 you can look at Emma’s wedding site, but you do need the pin number or password. (Sorry, I don’t have it, so let me know if you do!)

Two More Letters, but first…….

Posted on July 19, 2015 by losingemma

July 19, 2015

Two More Letters to Go, but first……. There is a gap between Emma’s letter from Oct. 19, and her following letter dated Jan. 8. 2010. It is possible the girls were e-mailing and not writing, and I know they were texting a lot because Emma had always shared some of her news from “Lacey”. If you’ve read my previous posts, you already know that a lot of what Emma told me was not true, such as “Lacey’s mother being on death’s door with breast cancer….. I also heard a lot about “Lacey” and Aaron. Emma loved telling me about their relationship troubles. It was all very dramatic. From what Emma told me, Aaron was a freshman in college while “Lacey” was a freshman in high school. They met through church, on a mission trip, I believe. There was lots of drama about trying to keep her parents from finding out about her feelings for Aaron because they would not approve of the age difference, and Aaron and Lacey didn’t date at that point, but only saw each other at church. Later on, Emma told me about Aaron having dinner with a group of friends at a restaurant, and his old girlfriend showed up. He confessed to “Lacey” that they talked for a long time out in the parking lot after dinner, and he kissed her. Emma really hated him for that. I have never met “Lacey” and have only spoken with her mother. I have no idea if the stories about Aaron are true or not. Since Emma lied so much about “Lacey’s” rape, attempted suicide, and her mother’s breast cancer……, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the drama about Aaron was made up too.

Also, just after Emma’s last writing in Oct., Evan seemed to lose interest in Emma. They spent a lot of time together at the church hayride. I don’t remember the exact date, but it was around Halloween. They hayride was held at our deacon’s farm, and the adults visited, and we all cooked hot dogs over a fire while the kids rode around the farm several times on the hayride. Emma and Evan sat together and he had his arm around her. It was all very sweet. I remember getting into bed that night and Emma came in and laid down on the bed next to me to talk about the evening. She was a happy, young girl in love. She loved telling me stories about what the kids said and did, and especially what Evan said or did…….

Church Hay Ride 2009.

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride. Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride. In this picture you can see how sweet and loving Emma looks with her dad. It was shortly after this picture was taken that Emma started complaining about her dad, saying she didn’t like him, and he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” daily. Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I’m pretty sure I know why Evan lost interest in Emma, but it is very personal, and believe it or not, my goal is not to embarrass and humiliate Emma. It’s not something that needs to be shared in this blog and doesn’t relate to the horrible things Emma has done. My only goal is to tell the truth. This is something I would have liked to work out with Emma privately but because she threatens me with a restraining order if I contact her, I feel my only alternative is this blog.

The last time I heard from Emma was Jan. 14, 2014. Just before that, I received an e-mail from Emma about breaking up with Tyler Buchheim. Someone pointed out something to me recently that Emma and Tyler may not have broken up. They may have written me to make me think that they broke up, and now that Tyler is or has graduated college, they may be actually getting married. I’m not going to mention what was shared with me. I do have some things to say about Emma’s upcoming marriage, but that is for a different post. In my previous posts, I referred to Tyler as “Bud the Boyfriend.” Since some of you may not have read about Emma and Tyler, here is a short version of it:

Emma met Tyler on line. He was an architecture student at Notre Dame University. He came down to visit her in Ga., and she went on vacation with the Buchheim family to Hilton Head. She convinced his family that she was not safe at home and they invited Emma to move up to Liberty Township, Ohio and in with Tyler’s grandparents, as Tyler’s mother did not want the raging hormones under the same roof. Emma began telling people she was engaged, but did not expect these stories to get back to her mother. I contacted Sherry Buchheim, Tyler’s mother, and in addition to telling Sherry what Emma did here in Ga., lying about “Lacey,” and claiming to have been sexually abused by a priest and then physically abused by her mother, I also shared stories that Emma told about Tyler, his younger sister, and his parents. As to whether or not Emma and Tyler broke up, I do not know. They may have pulled another one over on Emma’s mother, but I don’t really care at this point. I took Tyler’s name out of the blog when I thought they’d broken up, but now that I’ve heard something to lead me to believe I was wrong, I will put his name back in and leave it until I find out otherwise. Here is that e-mail Emma sent when she claimed Tyler broke up with her:

“Well, I have to say, congratulations. I never imagined you could destroy my life so completely, but you have. You win. You’ve proven that no matter how hard I try to escape your damage and rebuild my life, you will still find a way to hurt me. And now you’ve taken away the most important, sweetest, kindest person in my life. Yes, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to know that all this crap got to be too much for Tyler, and he dumped me. In your twisted mind are we somehow even now, or will you continue destroying my life? I don’t even know what else you can do, really. I know now that I’ll never be able to have a relationship, because you’ll ruin that. You’ll stalk my schools, my jobs, and anything else I ever do. What’s your endgame? What do you want from me? What the hell do I have to do to get you to leave me alone and stop hurting innocent people with your inane blog??? And please don’t say you want to be a mother to me, because publicly degrading your child definitely crosses the point of no return on that, as I know I’m not the only one to tell you. Oh, and stalking my boyfriend and his family til they dumped me? That didn’t score points either. “

At one time, I was not going to post that e-mail because I wanted to give Emma the chance to clean up her act. From the beginning, I told Emma and her dad I would take down the blog and keep this between the three of us, but we needed to deal with it. Since Emma chose to continue with her lying, I changed my mind, so there it is. I e-mailed Emma back and told her I would not do this through e-mail and she could call me to discuss it. I then received an e-mail from Katherine Smith. (Emma goes by Katie Smith on Facebook, last I heard. If you are going to change your name to hide your indiscretions, be sure to choose something common.) Here is that e-mail:

January 8, 2014

RE: Email Message

DO NOT contact me again, in any form, at any time. Forms of contact include (but are not limited to): phone calls, voicemails, text messages, email messages, messages sent through a postal service, and physical/verbal in-person contact. Again, as of today, the eighth of January in two thousand and fourteen, I am requesting that you DO NOT contact me ever again, in any form. If you contact me again, I will take legal action against you.

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma had already sent me a “drop dead” letter when Phill and I were divorced, so this second one was no surprise.

A few months ago, someone asked me if Phill knew how lucky he was that what Emma did to me could have just as easily been done to him. Then, recently, a friend, who went through this whole horrible ordeal with me, and is someone whom I will always treasure for being there for me, said something about how Emma’s goal was to split up her parents. Who knows why, but first she tried to turn me against Phill by claiming that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” every day, and complaining about the way he touched her. I have wondered if I had taken the bait, if Emma would have accused her dad of sexual abuse rather than the priest. When I would not allow Emma to talk that way about her dad, she came up with the story about being sexually molested by the priest, and when that went too far, she had to stop it and came up with the story about her mother physically abusing her. By getting her mother out of the house, Emma got all the freedom and control she could ever want. By threatening to run away if her dad made her go to counseling with her mother, Emma had her dad right where she wanted him. Blood is thicker than water, and a daughter is blood, while a wife is only water. With all the lies and documentation I have about Emma’s lies, Phill knows the truth, but won’t discuss Emma. He is definitely not the man I thought I was married to. For someone who was proud to say he was eligible to join MENSA, you just have to wonder. The first time Phill told me he could have joined MENSA had he wanted to, we were pretty young, and me being of only average intelligence, I have to admit, I didn’t even know what it was. I wonder if Emma is eligible too. I always said she got her smarts from her dad.

Losing Emma

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Protecting the Ones We Love

A Question of Timing

Emma Changes Churches **Updated 9/13/16

Emma and the English Teacher (completed5/01/16)

Happy Birthday, Emma!