Mother’s Day 2014

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“Blaming Mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still.” Author Unknown.

Happy Mother’s Day to my readers and to my darling Emma who made me a mom!  I really wanted to spend some time sharing some thoughts today, but have not been home long enough to do this, so I guess it will have to wait for another post.  In any event, I was thinking of Emma all day.  Even with the horrible things she’s done, I still have hope for my baby girl.  I had so many fun times as Emma’s mom.  The early years were simply amazing, seeing this baby grow into a toddler, then a little girl, then a tween, and a teen.  So many times I thought, “This is all I ever wanted, to be Emma’s mom.”  People have asked me if I had the chance to do it over, would I have still had a child? I can’t answer this, and I don’t live in the land of woulda, shoulda, coulda. What’s done is done. I love Emma, and I worry for Emma. I fear that she will continue to ruin her life and hurt those around her, but what Emma does is out of my control  Through all this, I’ve gone on with my life, and through all this, I still find life pretty amazing. That doesn’t mean I don’t have some bad days. When you’ve been through such a horrible experience like this, you are never the same, and it never goes away. You can curl up and die or go on to make the best life you can. I’m still working on it, but I have chosen the latter.

I will get back to writing about Emma and therapy when I have a little more time.

Emma’s Descent into Therapy Part 2, Preface to Manna Treatment (Continued)

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Emma’s boyfriend/fiance eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Manna Treatment and Counseling and Dr. Genie Burnett

Emma, Nathan, Johnathan McCravy, and Derek McCravy on a homeschool fieldtrip to the William Harris Homestead.

Emma, Nathan, Johnathan McCravy, and Derek McCravy on a homeschool fieldtrip to the William Harris Homestead.

I’ll be the first to admit I had no clue in how to go about choosing a therapist. After claiming to be sexually abused by a priest at our church, I felt like Emma needed to talk to a “professional” who could help her deal with what happened. Earlier, I mentioned that when Emma went to speak to a therapist at the Tree House in Winder, Ga, Emma was uncooperative. Phill and I gave Emma a break for about a month, and then decided she would see a therapist after we returned from visiting family in early July.

The Deacon at our church, who had been instrumental in helping us file a complaint against the priest Emma accused, recommended a therapist, and my friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy) recommended her therapist, Dr. Genie Burnett. All I knew about Dr. Burnett was that Sandi had seen her off and on for about 11 years at that point. Sandi had had an eating disorder and had abused laxatives many years before. She told me that Dr. Genie Burnett primarily treated eating disorders but because a lot of eating disorders stemmed from sexual abuse, Dr. Burnett had a lot of experience with girls like Emma. Sandi had gone to private sessions with Dr. Burnett as well as group therapy along with other women. Sandi frequently confided in me about her sessions with Dr. Genie Burnett and told me what she talked to her about. I remember a lot of it was issues with her family, primarily her mother, but also Sandi had issues with her brother and his wife who were more affluent than Sandi and Greg, and issues with her sister, the former beauty queen.

Dr. Burnett also treated Sandi’s son, Derek who suffered with Asperger’s, a mild form of Autisim. At one point, Sandi told me that Dr. Burnett was the one who had diagnosed Derek when he was about 8 years old, but some time before that, Sandi had been in denial about Derek’s problems and had told me all his problems were related to food allergies. She went to see various people about alternative medicine therapies and frequently had Derek on some kind of supplement that was supposed to keep him in check. She claimed that he couldn’t eat gluten or dairy, but if he wanted pizza she could just give him some supplements and he could eat what he wanted. Sandi frequently tried things that I thought were a little odd to me. One time, Sandi bought some sort of foot soak that was supposed to pull toxins out of your body if you just soaked your feet in it. I thought it sounded ridiculous, but Sandi claimed that her godmother, Wren, who had been battling cancer, used one of these things and had recommended it. I remember her telling me it cost something ridiculous, like $600, but Sandi got a deal on hers. I thought the whole thing was bizarre and a waste of money, but people will do what they will do.

Sandi raved about Dr. Genie Burnett when she was telling me how Dr. Burnett was the one to diagnose Derek, but on a previous occasion, Sandi had confided in me that when the boys were little and she was on government assistance, one of the doctors who saw the kids tried to tell her that Derek had autism, but she wouldn’t accept it. I don’t remember what government program the boys were on. Since we live in Georgia, it may have been PeachCare, but Sandi took the boys out of the program because she didn’t want that diagnosis on Derek’s record. She stayed in denial about his problems for many years, and I remember once when a woman named Ruth, who we worked with us gave, Sandi’s name and phone number to a lady who had a child with autism, and the woman called Sandi, Sandi was furious. She called me up, ranting and raving that Ruth had no right to give her phone number to this woman because Derek did not have autisim!

There were so many inconsistencies in what Sandi told me about Derek and autism, but I never questioned her. Sandi was always super sensitive on the issue, and knowing how we mamas are fiercely protective of our kids, I just let it go.

Derek’s senior year of high school, Sandi began falling apart, calling me frequently, crying, sometimes hysterically, over the thought of Derek going off to college. Derek is a very bright young man and received a scholarship to Mercer University in Macon, Ga. I frequently had to “talk Sandi down” as Phill liked to phrase it, and I reassured her that he would be fine, and that Macon was not that far away, and if she wanted, I would drive down there with her to see him.

Derek, on the other hand, seemed just fine about the thought of going off to college, but Sandi thought he needed to see Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment on a regular basis before he went off to live in the dorm. Because of Derek’s diagnosis, he was able to get a private room in the dorm, and he went off to college happy and excited about his new adventure. In the typical teenage fashion, Sandi complained that he did not call home enough.

Probably the deciding factor in choosing a counselor was that Dr. Genie Burnett was a Christian counselor, and Emma, being a conservative Christian, wanted to go to a Christian counselor. I didn’t really care who Emma went to as long as it was someone she felt comfortable with and someone she could talk to, so we made an appointment with Dr. Genie Burnett.

to be continued……………

Fish or Cut Bait

PREFACE: If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Emma’s boyfriend/fiance eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

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Emma was always a big reader, and often was reading when she was supposed to be doing other things, but I can understand that temptation. This is a picture of Emma and one of our foster dogs, Brillo, and as you can see, Emma was also a big Neal Boortz fan.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about some conversations Emma and I had in the past. One day, after doing some laundry, I asked Emma to put her clothes away. She walked into her room and right back out again, trying to quietly sneak out to the sun porch so she could get back to the book she was reading. I asked her if she had hung up and put her clothes away properly, and she replied that she had, but I knew she couldn’t have in the 30 seconds she was in her room and back out. Sure enough, I went in to find all the freshly washed clothes on the floor in her closet where she’d thrown them. This was a pretty frequent occurrence in our home. Emma didn’t have a lot of chores, and getting her to do them often seemed like more work than it was worth. For whatever reason, Emma was really bad about putting her clothes away and would throw them on the floor, under her bed, in her bed, cram them under her dresser, under shelves……….. anything to get them out of sight and then say she’d put them away. Sometimes it seemed like she went to more effort to hide her clothes than it would have taken her to put them away in the first place!

I told Emma that her sneaking around should have told her something about her actions. She knew she was doing something wrong, and that was why she was acting the way she did. I told her if she had put her clothes away properly, she should have been walking around like she was not trying to hide her actions. At some point we got into a conversation about how you should life your live as if your mother were looking over your shoulder, and then decided a better way to say it was “as if Jesus were looking over your shoulder.”

Emma is still sneaking around, figuratively that is. She can tell people she was an abused child, and she can tell people her mother poisoned her with DDT. Funny how she won’t bring any charges against this horrible mother of hers.

Well, after giving some serious thought to it, I am going to be taking the blog to some very public sites and message boards. Anywhere there’s discussions about kids, teens, schools, colleges, families, family problems, therapy, child molestation, child abuse, mental illness, etc. Anyplace I can think of, where I might get some opinions, response, comments. I have decided it is time for Emma to bring charges against me and let’s go to court, and if not, cut the crap, and let’s get on with our lives. As long as Emma is lying about me, I will continue to write the blog and tell her story and now I’m ready to make it very, VERY public. Emma can accuse me of abuse and of attempted murder, and then hide behind her daddy and play the victim. Well, if I’m going to be accused, I would like my day in court. If I’m not going to get that, then I will settle for the court of public opinion.

It is time to Fish or Cut Bait.

(I will get back to the story of Dr. Genie Burnett and Manna Treatment next.)

Emmaisms

Emma grad

Emmaisms
“I have Google in my head.”
Emma always knew she was a smart kid. The first time I heard Emma say this was when she started high school at JCCHS. She came home from 9th grade and claimed somebody asked her how she knew so much, and this was her reply.

Emma’s Descent into Therapy Part 2, Preface to Manna Treatment

PREFACE: If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Emma’s boyfriend/fiance eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma played Sandy when the church youth group did a dance skit from Grease, while the boy she had a crush on played Danny.  The kids did a great job and it was a lot of fun.  The cheerleader outfit came from a friend who graduated from Sandy Springs High School, Sandy Springs, Ga

Emma played Sandy when the church youth group did a dance skit from Grease. The cheerleader outfit came from a friend who graduated from Sandy Springs High School, Sandy Springs, Ga

Manna Treatment – Preface
Before I start writing about our experience with Manna Treatment, I want to first mention my complaints I filed with the State Board about Manna Treatment and Dr. Genie Burnett.

We’ve pretty much established that Emma is a teller of tales. If you’ve read my blog this long, you’ve seen the stories and some of the documentation I’ve collected from others about lies that Emma has told. Emma has a long history of lying, and this is something I want to warn parents about. In our case, therapy was detrimental to Emma and our family. Emma was allowed to go into therapy and say who knows what, and the therapist did not let Phill and I know what kind of things she was saying.

After Emma was in the custody of DFACS, Phill and I found a letter she’d written to “Lacey” the cyber friend, mentioning that her attorneys were ready to file the lawsuit and that her mother had Paranoid Borderline Personality Disorder. Or, it may have been Borderline Paranoid Personality Disorder. I will have to dig out the letter and see. It doesn’t really matter. Phill and I couldn’t understand how Dr. Genie Burnett could have diagnosed me with anything as I was not her patient. I sat in on a few partial or full sessions with Emma, but that was all. How in the world does a professional psychologist diagnose someone they are not treating? To me, this certainly seems like unprofessional conduct!
Suzie McGarvey at Lanier Counseling (who is now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) later told Phill and I that Dr. Genie Burnett went through a checklist with Emma and said, “Does your mother do this, this, and this?” and that was how I got the professional diagnosis of Paranoid Borderline Personality Disorder from Dr. Genie Burnett. Wow. All those years of college and earning a Ph.D. and that’s all there is to it? I think I could do that job without a college degree, and I wouldn’t charge $135/hour to do it! Phill and I were stunned. I would love to see Dr. Genie Burnett’s notes to see exactly what Emma said about me. With her ability to embellish the simplest story, I’m sure she came up with quite an entertaining tale for Dr. Burnett!
I can understand a “professional” psychologist forming an opinion about a person. When Emma was taking AP Psychology on line (which is where I’m sure she got some of her abuse stories from) she would try to tell me I was this or that. Being a teenager with one Psychology course under her belt of course made her an expert, so in addition to being a “control freak” and “micromanaging” her life, if I put something away I was anal, if I checked to make sure I locked the door, I was OCD. I can’t even remember all the labels Emma gave me. Sometimes it was funny, other times annoying, but there was no doubt Emma was into her Psych class.
When Emma’s GI doctor (Emma had a long history of vomiting issues which she now claims is because I poisoned her for years with DDT.) recommended taking Emma to a psychiatrist to put her on an antidepressant, and he wanted me to check with her psychologist (Dr. Genie Burnett, Manna Treatment) to see if she felt like this was appropriate, I asked around for some names, including asking Dr. Genie Burnett. I was kind of surprised at her enthusiasm about Emma going on an antidepressant. She told me she thought it was a good idea and then said, “I’ve been on and off antidepressants for years!” This comment made me very uncomfortable, and the way she was so glib about it, and I told Phill that it bothered me. I thought to myself, “Hmmmm, even if you were on and off antidepressants for years, would you really want to tell people that?”
I don’t remember the name of the doctor that Dr. Burnett gave us, but we lived in Hoschton, and he was in Roswell, about an hour away. Later on I asked Dr. Burnett if she could recommend anyone closer and she told me that the reason she gave us the name of that psychiatrist was that he was going to be joining her office sometime in the next year.
We were having a difficult time getting Emma to get her school work done because she wanted to sleep all the time. She was vomiting a lot and taking Zofran up to three times a day, but I would also guess that Emma was tired because when we thought she was in bed, she was pretending to be asleep, but she was up at all hours of the night with her other “mommy” Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy) chit chatting on the phone. If I tried to discuss anything with Dr. Burnett, there would be hell to pay. Emma always looked at it like I was “telling” on her, rather than I was trying to work on our family life. Emma cared how Dr. Genie Burnett saw her, and wanted to present herself a certain way, but her mom always wrecked things by revealing that Emma was not this perfect little mature, well-spoken young woman she wanted people to think she was. If I said anything that Emma took as criticizing of her, she would be furious with me once we left Dr. Burnett’s office, so I didn’t say too much on the few sessions I sat in on.
I sent Dr. Burnett and e-mail about some of the problems we were having with Emma and how we were having trouble getting Emma to do her school work. When I took Emma to her next session, Dr. Burnett wanted me to come in with Emma for the first few minutes, and then I was MORTIFIED when Dr. Genie Burnett read my e-mail in front of Emma. I should have stopped Dr. Burnett immediately, but I was so shocked that she did that, I just didn’t think. You want to see one angry child! Once again, the story of my teenage daughter’s life, she was livid with her mother!
The comment about being on and off antidepressants for years, diagnosing me with Paranoid Borderline Personality Disorder, and reading my e-mail in front of Emma were all listed in my complaint with the board about Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment.

Later, I’ll get into how we chose Manna Treatment and Dr. Genie Burnett and while I have no idea what Emma said during her sessions, I can tell you how Emma acted before and after sessions, and things that she talked about to me after her sessions.

Emma’s Descent into Therapy Part 1 (UPDATED)

***************UPDATED APRIL 13, 2014**********************

PREFACE: If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that her mother poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing her mother of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to her mother’s attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid Emma’s mother would show up and kill her entire family. When Emma’s mother contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Emma’s boyfriend/fiance eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma’s first experience with therapy was with the Tree House, in Winder, Ga. The Tree House is an organization that supports children and families in Jackson and Barrow County, Ga. I am appalled that Emma wasted the time of this facility when there is such legitimate need for their services.

As I mentioned earlier, on Emma’s dad’s birthday, March 21, 2010, Emma told us the story of her “repressed memories” and claimed to have been molested by the priest over a period of several months when she was 12 years old. Two days later, a Jackson County DFACS worker, Cecelia Dove and a sheriff’s Deputy (Janis Mangum, who is now the Sheriff of Jackson County) showed up at our home. Emma became hysterical and threw her arms around me, crying that she didn’t want to be taken away. She sobbed and held on to me tightly, and it took a few minutes for the three of us to calm her down. Perhaps she became hysterical because she realized the magnitude of what she’d done no that the authorities were involved. Deputy Mangum assured Emma that she was not going to be taken away and that she was there just to make sure Emma was safe and that the priest no longer had access to Emma. I explained that the priest had been an interim priest at our church for about a year while the church went through the process of hiring a new priest.

I was also very shaken to have DFACS and a sheriff’s deputy come to my home, and it took us several days to figure out who had called DFACS. Emma denied up and down telling anyone other than one of her church youth leaders about being “molested” but we later found out that Emma was failing Physics, so her excuse to her teacher for not doing her work was that she was having problems because she had been molested. It was the physics teacher who called DFACS. I have pages and pages of letters Emma was writing to “Lacey” during this time, and she could also chat with “Lacey” on the computer when she was supposed to be doing her school work. Emma is a very smart girl, and there was no reason for her to fail physics. She wasn’t doing her work, and needed a good excuse, so she used her “molestation” story.

Unfortunately, Phill and I, as well as our Deacon blamed another woman for calling DFACS. After Emma told us about being molested, Phill called one of Emma’s Youth Group leaders, a young woman who was a school psychologist, and he told her about Emma’s accusation. This lady worked in educational testing, not with abuse, but we figured, working for the school system, she felt obligated to turn Emma into DFACS. That Sunday, we went to church, and I saw this woman crying in church because she knew we were angry with her. Emma never said a word. I saw this woman sobbing when she took communion. She was so deeply hurt that we accused her of sending the authorities to our door when she was another one of Emma’s innocent victims. Later on, I whole heartedly apologized to her, and I think she forgave us, but I will never forget the pain we caused her. Shortly after that, she quit working with the youth group.

After telling her story to Deputy Mangum, Cecelia Dove (DFACS Social Worker) spoke to us and gave me the name of the Tree House and said Emma could receive counseling there. Emma was completely opposed to counseling, and I was the one who pushed her to go. I thought she might need some “professional” help. Emma argued with me and claimed that she’d read that girls who’d been molested like she was did just as well talking things over with their friends as opposed to going to therapy. One problem with this was that Emma really didn’t have any friends. She didn’t have any girlfriends she hung out with. She e-mailed and texted “Lacey,” her cyber friend whom Emma claimed had been raped and tried to commit suicide, but the two girls had never met in person. Emma was also friends with Kayla Benifield Weaver, but only saw her for a weekend or so once or twice a year when Kayla was visiting her mom. Emma talked to me a lot about everything, but I really felt she needed someone other than her mother.

Phill had my calendars, so I don’t have the dates, but sometime around May, Emma started therapy at the Tree House. Her counselor was a young woman, Ms. M, who I believe was working on her Master’s Degree at UGA and interning at the Tree House. She was very sweet, and I thought Emma would like her except she had a Hispanic name, and Emma had some bias against Hispanics, complained about the illegal immigrant problems in this country, and complained about Hispanic kids at school.

After 3 or 4 sessions, Ms. M. called me into the room after meeting with Emma and said that there was really no reason to bring Emma to therapy because Emma would not talk to her. Emma later told her other therapists that she did not like the Tree House because they treated her like a little kid and gave her stickers. (She never mentioned receiving sticker to me, although once I think they gave her a snack of a pack of cookies or crackers.)

Phill and I discussed giving Emma a break from therapy. We were planning a trip to visit my sister up north at the end of June, so we thought we would wait until we got back to have Emma start seeing someone else. In the meantime, Emma had quit going to church, and did not want to go with the youth group on the big trip to Cherokee N.C. that they had been planning and raising money for all year. Emma had quit going to youth group. I suspected that part of this was because it was a very small group, and the boy that Emma liked and had spent quite a bit of time with at church activities and youth group, was no longer interested in her, and there was a new girl at church who seemed to be spending a lot of time at church following this young man around. It was just the typical teenage stuff, but I think Emma was no longer comfortable in the group because for a while there, the kids, and even some of the adults thought Emma and this boy were a couple, even though they never actually dated. I think Emma was very hurt when this young man was no longer interested in her. Emma pretty much did nothing but sit around the house. She hung around me a lot, running errands or doing whatever I happened to be doing around the house, and in the evenings she would want to watch a movie or tv with me.

I had been discussing with my good friend Sandi (Sandra Brooks McCravy) that I hated Emma just sitting around the house, and I wished she would go with her youth group on their trip, but at that point, several people in the church knew about Emma accusation of being sexually molested, and we had filed a complaint with the church, so I didn’t feel like I should push Emma to go if she really didn’t want to. Sandi suggested that Emma could come help with Vacation Bible School at her current church, Sunrise Baptist Church in Lawrenceville, Ga. http://www.sunrisebaptist.com Since Sandi lived about 35-40 minutes away from us, there in Lawrenceville, she suggested that Emma stay at their home for the week. Phill and I thought this would be a great break for Emma, and I took Sandi up on her offer.

During the week of Vacation Bible School (VBS) the kids were at the church in the morning, and then back home to Sandy’s by early afternoon. During time, I called my oldest sister in Ct., and broke the news to her about Emma’s molestation. We were planning a trip to visit them at the end of June, and I felt like I needed to tell her, and I also needed her big sisterly support.

Also, during the week of VBS, one of our neighbors who also went to our church, was in a hospice facility, dying of cancer. Our deacon had called me and told me that he didn’t have much time left, and this gentleman had trained the acolytes, and had been very fond of Emma, so I really wanted to take Emma to see him. He was alert and happy to see us, and if I remember right, he passed away the next day with his loving family around him.

When I picked Emma up one afternoon to take her to visit our neighbor in the hospice, I told Emma that I’d told my sister about the “molestation.” Emma became furious with me. She asked me why I told her, and I said it was because when we went up there in a few weeks, my sister would know that something was wrong, and also because she loved us and I felt like we needed her support. Emma barely spoke to me that afternoon, and when I took her back to Sandi McCravy’s house, Emma got out of the car without speaking and went into the house without saying a word to me. I went in and spoke to Sandi for a few minutes and told her why Emma was mad at me.

It was around this time that Emma developed a crush on Johnathan McCravy, Sandi and Greg’s younger son. Sometime later, it may have been 6 months later when Phill and I were going through Emma’s room, I found a letter Emma had written to her cyber friend “Lacey” about her crush on Johnathan. There was nothing dramatic in it, just the sweet typical stuff teenagers write about being in love.

At the end of June, we went to visit my sister and her husband for a week in CT. Emma was rude and nasty for the entire week, barely speaking to my sister and brother-in-law the whole visit. This hurt me because my sister had been the greatest aunt to Emma. She spent time with her, sent her cards and gifts, remembered her on every holiday, etc. She had adored Emma her whole life, and at 16, Emma was a rude and nasty brat to her. Several times my sister walked in to find Emma on the phone, and she would quickly get off. It wasn’t until later that I realized all these phone calls were to Sandi McCravy. Sandi Even called Emma while we were at the beach for fireworks, and they talked for about an hour. I was also a little surprised that Sandi knew we were having a family picnic at the beach and she still stayed on the phone with Emma so long that night. I thought it was rude of Sandi as well as rude of Emma, but then again, Emma was being so unpleasant, why not let her talk on the phone and just enjoy the adult company without Emma?

When we came back from CT, Emma started therapy with Dr. Genie Burnett (Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett) Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga. http://mannatreatment.com/home

Coming up in Part 2, Manna Treatment

Southeast Electric Flight Festival

031002a
I think this photo was around 2002, when Emma donated a dinosaur puppet for her dad to use in a pilot in one of his planes. It was really cute.

PREFACE: If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that her mother poisoned her with DDT but refuses to turn over these reports to her mother’s attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid Emma’s mother would show up and kill her entire family. When Emma’s mother contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.”
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

It is a rainy Georgia night, and I was thinking about how Emma is probably down in Americus, Ga. for SEFF (Southeast Electric Flight Festival) to work as Jeff Meyers’ “Executive Assistant.” SEFF doesn’t start until tomorrow (April 7-13) but Phill always liked going down early. SEFF was something he looked forward to all year, and as soon as it was over, he was already planning for the next year. Emma didn’t really care about flying, but she liked running things and being in charge, and she is really Jeff’s right hand. She also liked the pay she received. It was very generous of Jeff to pay the “volunteers” who worked very hard all week.

Phill always liked camping at SEFF, but Emma preferred a hotel, so I was just listening to the rain and am glad to know she won’t be camping in a tent tonight. Emma and I were never quite the “roughing it” kind of girls!

With all the “together time” of homeschooling, I had to admit I enjoyed our little break and having some time to myself when Emma went to SEFF with her dad, but then as soon as she was gone, I missed her, too. I could only talk to her early in the morning or late at night, and usually for just a few minutes because she was so busy, but I always enjoyed hearing about what she was doing. Really though, I didn’t hear too much about it until Emma got home, and then she talked and talked and pretty much gave me every detail of her week. Phill got a kick out of hearing Emma’s name paged over the intercom. Who knows, maybe the SEFF experience has prepared Emma for things she’ll be doing in her professional life, in whatever career she decides to go into.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I was thinking of my baby girl and hope she has a wonderful week at SEFF.
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Therapy

PREFACE: If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered.
Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that her mother poisoned her with DDT. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid Emma’s mother would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.”
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

I’m going to be working on writing about our experiences with Emma and therapy when I have a a little more time, but I wanted to share some thoughts on kids and therapy. Not long after Emma pulled her “I want to live in a group home.” stunt and told Suzie McGarvey at Lanier Counseling that she was being abused at home, someone I know started therapy with her family (husband and two kids). Her two children were fighting so much, they were making the family miserable.
The therapist wanted to meet with the parents first, and then said she would be working with them as a group. The mother asked if the therapist would see the children privately, without the parents and was told, “Oh, no. That gives the children too much power.” When the mother mentioned this to a mutual friend, this friend called me and had to tell me about what the therapist said. She pointed out that that was what happened in our case, Emma had all the power.
Just as a warning to parents, I want to mention that a child can go to a therapist and say any ol’ thing she/he wants, and if the child is a big fat liar who lies about, well, pretty much everybody, and claims to be abused, by law of course, the therapist has to report it. Also, in our experiences, Emma’s therapists were not going to call BS on Emma. Both Suzie McGarvey (Lanier Counseling, and now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) and Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment) claimed that when they tried to get Emma talk about being molested by a priest, she would turn on her mother. I have to wonder, did neither Suzie McGarvey nor Dr. Genie Burnett not question that Emma might be lying? Did they not feel like there was something odd going on. And yes, I realize that Emma’s story changed and suddenly she was abused by (shock and horror!) her own mother! Omigoodness, Emma’s mother how gave up her career to stay home with her, who home schooled Emma for 5 years, who put Emma in any activity she ever wanted to try (within reason—that her parents could afford) was a child abuser!

Emma As a church Acolyte in 2002

Emma As a church Acolyte in 2002


I have wondered why Suzie McGarvey (since we were not seeing Dr. Genie Burnett at that time) did not question Emma about the timing of her accusation against her mother. Let’s see………. Emma’s attorneys were about to file a lawsuit against the church, the diocese, AND the priest that Emma accused of sexual molestation and they were going to need to talk to Emma’s cyber friend who had been RAPED, and Emma would have to go to court and testify, so what does Emma do to bring everything to a screeching halt? Emma accuses her mother of physical abuse. Why did Suzie McGarvey not get to the bottom of Emma’s story? This is the therapist who told Phill and I that she felt very comfortable with us and we were only the 2nd couple that she felt she would trust with her own children. (Suzie McGravey and her husband, a financial planner, have two daughters whom Suzie brought to PetsMart when Emma and I were doing fundraising pet pictures with Santa. I still have the photos.)
Ok, so Suzie McGarvey felt like she could trust Phill and I with her own children, and she let Emma spew her lies during her sessions and never called her on it? I guess if you make your clients angry by calling BS, they stop going to you, and it affects your income. I don’t know. Maybe Suzie just isn’t a very good therapist.
I have more to say about therapy and I’ll be writing about our experiences with each of Emma’s therapists from the Treehouse in Winder, Ga. to Manna Treatment, Lanier Counseling, Social Empowerment Center, and Dr. Richard Born at Applied Psychological Health in Athens, Ga.

More to come………..

DDT again………..

PREFACE: If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered.</em

Emma accused her mother of poisoning her with DDT, and I just can't figure out if I was trying to kill her or was it that I enjoyed all the attention Emma received from all the dr. visits because of her vomiting? (I'll write more about Emma's GI issues somewhere down the road and give my readers the full story.) Was it attempted murder or Van Munchausen by Proxy?

My attorney has been waiting for months for Emma to turn over the toxicology report she claims to have, proving that her mother poisoned her, and yet, she won't do it. I wonder why? I would like to move on with my life, but if I'm going to be accused of yet another crime, I would like to go ahead and deal with it. Emma, since you said these things, I wonder wny you won't own up to them?

I've been really busy with work, but thank you to my followers who have written. I hope to have time this weekend to start working on our experiences with Emma and therapy.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, you may contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma Stories – Homecoming and other High School Stories

PREFACE: If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma was recently living in Ohio at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for that toxicology report.) She also claims her future mother-in-law lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family. A while back I received an e-mail from this lady that said, “…. I am not afraid of you or fear that you are going to murder me or my family. That is ridiculous!!!”………… P.S.T., you are very welcome.

Emma Roey, Ready for High School at JCCHS.

Emma Roey, Ready for High School at JCCHS.

Emma could tell some great stories. Of course, whether they were true or not is another question. If you’ve been reading along, I mentioned a story about Emma going to the youth group of an acquaintance she knew from school in 9th grade at JCCHS (Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Jefferson, Ga.) and how Emma came home and reenacted the evening of some horrible things the youth leader said about his dog being run over and how his life was like a country song, making his two daughters, who were in the youth group cry. Emma had also claimed that his wife, who kept a home daycare, took off, leaving the children unsupervised, and how one of the children had had a bloody nose had had gotten blood all over the bedroom and all over the comforter of Emma’s school mate.
The most entertaining part of her story of that evening was when Emma told me about giving her “testimony” to the youth group of how she was “saved.” Emma gave me a long, drawn out story, and it was hilarious. Of course, later on, I got in touch with Emma’s schoolmate’s father who was also the youth leader of the church (Walnut Fork Baptist Church, Hoschton, Ga.) and discovered that pretty much most of what Emma told me was a lie. He assured me that the teenagers did not give testimonies during Youth Group. There were a few elements of truth, the family dog had been hit by a car, and Emma took them and went off spinning her own tale in a whole different direction. (At one time, Emma considered politics for a career. I think she could definitely work behind the scenes as a spin doctor! Just a different kind of doctor from being a pediatrician, which was something Emma talked about being from about 2nd grade until she got into high school. This saddens me because we all know with the Healthcare Crisis, that there is a shortage of doctors. Emma has the smarts that I think she could have been an excellent doctor, or anything else she wanted to be, but she has chosen to use her gifts in a much more destructive way.)
Back to my story…….. When Emma attended Jefferson High School, in Jefferson Ga., she was in 11th grade. It was fall, and Homecoming was approaching. There was a young man in a couple of Emma’s classes ,that she did not like for whatever reason, and his named Bryson Quinn, if I have the spelling right. I’m sure Bryson was a perfectly fine young man, but when Emma didn’t like someone, that was pretty much it, and there was no going back. According to Emma, she was standing outside of a classroom, waiting for the previous class to be dismissed so that her class could go in. Bryson went up to her and asked her to go to the Homecoming Dance with her. She panicked and said, “I can’t.”
Bryson asked, “Why not?”
Emma said, “Uh…………………..my boyfriend wouldn’t like that.”
and then she claimed that an older boy named Cody, who was in her drama class, came up behind her and said in a deep voice, “Yeah. I wouldn’t like that.” and Bryson walked off.
Then Cody looked at Emma and said, “You don’t really have a boyfriend do you?”
to which Emma replied,”Ummm, no.”
Of course, just telling the story is not near as funny as seeing Emma act it out. Was it true? Who knows? Emma had told Phill and I that she and a group of girls were not interested in going to homecoming, but they wanted to dress up and go out, so they were going to put on pretty dresses and go bowling. I thought this sounded like a great idea for a night of fun and I encouraged it, telling her I’d be happy to drive her (and anyone else that needed a ride) to the bowling alley. These plans never materialized, and except when Phill and I had Emma invite a group of girls to a cookout at our house, Emma never hung out socially with anyone from school.
I’ve more or less been writing Emma’s story as a series of essays because I don’t think I could sit down and write a book, and because I get one topic stuck in my craw for a while and decide that is what I want to write about. (“Squirrel!” for those of you that saw UP. Phill, Emma, and I went together to see that movie, and we all enjoyed it.)
I want to start writing about our experiences with having Emma in therapy, but later, I’ll be posting stories Emma told from both JCCHS (Jackson County Comprehensive High School) and Jefferson High School. It wasn’t until I started writing them down that I realized Phill and I should have been looking into Emma’s stories. While at JCCHS, Emma claimed one of the coaches, Coach Beaver, was also a policeman in Statham, Ga. Coach Beaver also taught Emma’s Freshman Focus class, and she claimed he was always telling them about all the drugs in Statham and what a problem drugs were there. Of course, Emma talked a lot about drugs and sex while she attended JCCHS. She claimed just about everyone she knew smoked, used drugs, had sex, went to drug parties, and that drugs were sold on the bus, that kids smoked on the bus, etc. I mentioned earlier how Emma talked about the drug parties where everyone took pills from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw them into a bowl, and then took a handful of these mixed pills, and how Emma had gotten that story from the Reader’s Digest.
Also during Emma’s time at JCCHS, we saw a story on the news about a young man who preferred to dress as a girl, wear makeup, etc. I don’t even remember what the story was about, if it was a lawsuit or what, but I remember the video of the boy fixing his hair, applying makeup (I remember the eyeliner because that is a skill I never mastered!), and some time after that, Emma claimed there were a couple of boys at school who dressed as girls by wearing dresses, pantyhose, and makeup, and the school would do nothing about it, even though it violated the dress code. I remember being a little shocked that the school would allow this, but other than that, it didn’t affect me or my daughter, so I wasn’t too concerned. I will mention that in all my visits to JCCHS, I never saw any young men dressed as girls. I never called the school to see if this was allowed, and at this point, it doesn’t really matter.
We had two neighbor boys who went to JCCHS and were very active in school, and Emma talked about how they always looked stoned in the mornings, and how the younger boy, who later turned down an appointment to West Point to attend UGA, was known for his partying. To be honest, I think when these two boys went to school in the morning, they were typical teens and just not quite awake that early in the morning.
Emma also like talking about a feud between Coach Beaver and our neighbor, Dr. Cora Andrews, who is the head of the PE department at JCCHS. (When Emma claimed there were at least 10 pregnant freshman, it was Dr. Cora Andrews who assured me the high school had had two pregnancies that year.) According to Emma, during PE, Dr. Cora Andrews might walk through and ask Emma to have the class do something simple like leaving the volley ball nets out because she had the next class, but if Emma tried to do what Dr. Andrews asked, Coach Beaver would make sure the opposite was done. If Dr. Andrews asked them to leave something out, Coach Beaver made them put it away. Was there a feud between the two teachers or was this just another entertaining story? And, just how does a coach work a second job as a police officer? I’m kind of guessing Coach Beaver was a coach and a teacher, but the policeman part was Emma’s imagination.
I will get back to more of Emma’s High School stories later, but for now, I want to work on writing about our experiences with therapy, so that’s coming up next.