The Rewards of Being a Victim

Posted on August 26, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story.

The Rewards of Being a Victim

Before Phill took out the Temporary Protective Order, to have me removed from my home, we had to come up with places for Emma to stay. After all, she wanted to go live in a group home. My thought was that she needed to live in a group home and to see what it’s like for kids who didn’t have it as good as she did. Let her meet kids who really were abused or who came from bad situations. Emma’s life would look like the life of a princess compared to some of these kids. She had two parents who loved her and she was allowed to do almost anything she wanted (within reason). She never lacked for food, clothes, or a warm bed. Of course once, when Emma and I got into an argument over something she wanted (I can’t remember what it was now.) and she didn’t get her way, she got angry and screamed at me, “YOU HAD ME! YOU OWE ME!” At the time, I thought it was a pretty ugly thing to say, but we all say things we don’t mean in anger. Emma said a lot of ugly things over the years, but for some reason, this one stuck with me probably more than any other. It sort of haunted me, and it still does. I’m sad to say that I really felt like this was in insight into Emma’s world. Emma felt like we owed her.

When Emma stayed with friends and neighbors, she got treated like a beloved guest with dinners, plays, clothes, trips to the beauty shop, etc. After all, who wouldn’t want to do something nice for a poor abused child who was beaten and poisoned by her mother? Emma made out like a bandit. I will share about some of the people Emma stayed with, and how Emma took advantage. I’m sure I only know a few of the rewards Emma collected. There’s probably a lot more that I don’t know.

From what Phill told me, Emma mostly stayed with our neighbors, John and Judy Hall, but she also stayed with some other neighbors, Randall and Cora Andrews, and one of Phill’s RC plane buddies and his wife, Mike and Wendy Timms who lived not far from us in Hoschton, but now live in Dacula, Ga. Since Emma didn’t want to see me, I didn’t always know where she was. Phill just told me what he wanted to.

Judy worked part time for salon in Brasleton, and the one time I got to see Emma, sitting in the van, she’d had her hair done. Since about 9th grade, Emma frequently used a straight iron on her hair, and it was very straight, cut in layers and looked very pretty. Phill told me that Emma had wanted to get her hair cut, but I wouldn’t let her. Well, as you can see from this photo, that’s not true.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy at a taping of the Sean Hannity Show.

Judy was a petite lady, but because of some health problems, she put on some weight, and she gave Emma a bunch of clothes. Emma always was a clothes horse, so from what Phill told me, she was thrilled about that.

At first, the Hall’s were driving Emma to school, and I think Phill was paying them to at least cover gas money. Emma had a permit, but Phill did not want Emma to get her driver’s license until she was 18. Funny thing was, once he got rid of his wife, he let Emma go ahead and get her license so she could drive herself. From what some of the neighbors told me, she then totaled two cars and she may have gotten a ticket in New Jersey. She had failed the test for her permit the first time, so I’ve often wondered how she did on her driver’s test. With her dad being a truck driver, you’d think she would have had plenty of lessons, but I missed this milestone in my daughter’s life, so I really don’t know how she did on the driving test.

When John and Judy went out of town, Emma stayed with our neighbors, Cora and Randall Andrews who lived behind us, and across the street from Judy and John Hall. Randall worked with Phill at UPS and was the union steward until he fell on the job and if I remember right, damaged both rotator cuffs. Randall was a hard worker, and when he wasn’t at UPS, he did tractor work on the side. After winning a settlement with UPS, Randall became a truck driving instructor. Since his wife was a teacher, he liked to joke that they were both teachers. Cora stayed home with the kids when they were little and then went back to teaching P.E. and also went back to school to get her Ph.D. in P.E. She then became a coach at Jackson County Commprehensive High School.

Phill was a big help to Cora when she was working on her Ph.D. He helped her with computer work, and Cora even thanked him in her dissertation. Phill got a kick out of that she mentioned him, but didn’t even mention her husband in her acknowledgement.

Randall and Cora had two boys who Emma played with when she was little, but once the kids started school, they didn’t see much of each other. When the kids were little, we helped each other out, occasionally watching each other’s kids. Phill and I even kept the boys when Randall had a heart attack and was in the hospital.

When Emma started high school at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she never had anything nice to say about her former playmates. She claimed they always looked high or looked to be on something at school. Knowing how involved the boys were in school, and how involved their parents were, I didn’t believe this for a minute. I’m sure they boys weren’t perfect angels, but they both were very involved in sports and other school activities. Since Emma claimed she often saw them looking this way in the morning when she went to school, I suspected they might have been sleepy because it was early in the morning and with sports and homework, they were probably short on sleep. Emma went on and on about them and I remember at one point she tried to convince me that the younger son had a reputation for partying and using drugs. Both of these boys went on to college, and the younger son turned down an appointment to West Point to go to UGA and even got some scholarship money.

Emma also talked about Cora (Dr. Andrews) when she went to JCCHS. Emma had a coach named Coach Beaver for P.E. and Freshman Focus class. Coach Beaver, according to Emma, also moonlighted as a cop in Statham, Ga., and would tell the kids about all the drug problems in Statham.

According to Emma, Coach Beaver and Dr. Andrews had some sort of rivalray. Emma claimed that one time, in P.E. class, Dr. Andrews walked through the gym and told Emma to put some nets or something away when they were done. She said when they finished, she started putting the nets away and Coach Beaver yelled at Emma and asked her what she was doing. When she stated that Dr. Andrews had asked her to put the nets away, Emma said Coach Beaver told her to leave the nets where they were and if Dr. Andrews wanted the nets put away, she could do it herself. Did this really happen? I never asked neither Cora, nor Coach Beaver, but I’m guessing probably not, just like I’m guessing that Coach Beaver didn’t moonlight as a policeman.

Since I’m on the topic of Coach Beaver, I will mention a couple of other funny things Emma said about Coach Beaver. She claimed that Coach Beaver and her political science teacher (I can’t remember his name.) lived across the street from each other. This was during the 2008 election. Emma claimed that Coach Beaver was a conservative and her political science teacher was a liberal, so they both tried to out-do each other with signs in their yards for their particular candidate. Hmmm. I wonder what the odds are of these two teachers living across from each other and being political rivals ?

While staying with the Andrews, Emma went got to go see a play at her old high school under her favorite teacher, Bonnie Roberts, who was the drama teacher. (I will have another whole essay to write about Emma’s experience being in Drama at JCCHS, including confirmation from Ms. Roberts as to some of the lies Emma told about Drama.)

Emma also stayed at the home of Mike and Wendy Timms, one of Phill’s RC plane buddies. I might have met Mike at an RC event, but I’m not sure. Mike and Wendy have to daughter a few years younger than Emma, and one of them shares Emma’s name. They also had the fact that the girls were home schooled in common. I know the Timms family often went to the week-long RC event, SEFF, down in Americus, Ga. because Phill and Emma both talked about them being there.

Emma spent a weekend at the Timms’ home when they still lived in Hoschton. With the Timms family, Emma went out to eat Mexican food, and went to see a play that her latest crush, Johnathan McCravy, happened to have a role in. I think she also went to church that Sunday with the family. If I remember right, they went out for Mexican after church.

After I was removed from my home, Emma also spent some time with her friend Kayla Benifield Weaver, at the home of Kayla’s mom and stepdad, Sheree and Jeff Barwise, not far from home. Anytime Emma went to Kayla’s they ate out a lot because Emma claimed that Sheree didn’t cook, and I have a cute picture of a group of them going bowling.

This victim thing really paid off for Emma. She was treated like a guest everywhere she went (No chores!) and there were so many wonderful fringe benefits like meals out, plays, clothes, shopping, etc. It’s tough being a victim.

Coming up next…………………………………..The NEW Woman of the House! (OR, The Girl Who Would Be Me)

Temporary Protective Order, Last Page!

Posted on August 17, 2014 by losingemma

Emma and Kayla Benified Weaver when Kayla's grandparents (the grandfather Emma claimed was a racist as well as a Nazi Sympathizer) took the girls to Medieval Times.

Emma and Kayla Benified Weaver when Kayla’s grandparents (the grandfather Emma claimed was a Nazi Sympathizer) took the girls to Medieval Times.

This is the last page of the Temporary Protective Order. I don’t really know how things are done, but since the notary, Karen M. Stroly, appears to be a paralegal for the office of Phill’s attorney, I’m assuming you document the TPO with a notary and then take it to the court house to file. Karen M. Stroly notarized the TPO on April 5th, a Tuesday, when I was still in North Carolina, and then Phill took it to the courthouse on April 7th when he told me he was taking Emma to the home of our friends Ann and Jack Verner in Chamblee, Ga., about 50 or so minutes away from our home in Hoschton.

Sort of a side note, I had asked Phill to pick me up a couple of pairs of jeans when he went to Costco or Sams, because he stopped at those stores at least once a week. I’d loss some weight from the stress of the whole situation, and my jeans were too big. Phill brought home 4 pairs of jeans, and I tried them all on. Usually, in a case like this, I’d pick what I like, or something wouldn’t fit, and I’d keep what I wanted. Well, all the jeans fit very well, but I felt like I only needed a couple of pairs, so I put two pair on the dining room table and told Phill he could return them when he went back. He kept telling me to keep them, but I felt like when things calmed down, I’d probably put the weight back on, so it seemed silly to me. I guess since Phill was planning on throwing me out of my home, the least he could do was buy me some jeans. (But I left the two pairs there when I left my home.)

I do want to write more about the TPO and about how Phill showed up WITH Emma when I was volunteering and asked another volunteer to send me out to talk to them. I have to admit, when I found out about the all the lies that Emma told about “Lacey” and how she wasn’t raped and had never attempted suicide, and how her mother was never dying of breast cancer, and how Emma never called 911 on a boy she never babysat, and how the girl down the street was not pregnant and did not have an abortion, and how she was never drug searched at her school, etc., etc., etc., I thought Phill would realize that there was a problem with Emma, and apologize to me and we would move on as a family and get Emma the help she needs. I was wrong.

There is another thing I want to mention, for some of you that may be new to the blog. (I have noticed quite an increase in readers according to my stats, and I have received a few private messages from readers.) I have offered to take down the blog and keep this whole matter between Emma, her dad, and myself. Emma chose to ignore my offer, and that’s fine. I will keep writing. I just want my darling daughter to know that if she is going to accuse me of child abuse and attempted murder, she’d better be willing to go to the mat on it. As long is Emma is lying about her mother, her mother is going to be writing about what really happened.

Coming up next, “The Rewards of Being a Victim.” I will share with you some stories about the people Emma took advantage of and stayed with because she couldn’t stay home with her abusive mother (even when her dad was there). Some of them have stories as interesting as my own. Then I want to share the story of Emma and her first boyfriend (whom she called her fiance) and I want to share with you the e-mails Emma wrote to “Lacey” as they are long and quite detailed and give quit an insight into Emma’s personality. Goodness, so much writing to do, and not enough time on my hands!

Thank you all for the love and support.

Temporary Protective Order Page 10

Posted on August 16, 2014 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, my daughter, Emma Roey, at the age of 16 made up a story about a friend being raped, claimed that this rape brought up memories of a priest molesting her when she was 12 years old, and then when her attorneys were about to file a lawsuit against the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse. Emma later claimed her mother had poisoned her with DDT. At this point in the blog, I am documenting the Temporary Protective Order my husband took out to have me removed from our home. If you want to read more about Emma’s story, go to the archives. A good place to start is with “Sending out a Letter” in July of 2012.)

On this page, Phill checks the box that he wants me to attend a batterers intervention program, but I wonder why he didn’t want me to attend a poisoners intervention program. After all, Emma claimed I was poisoning her with DDT! I think Emma was watching WAY too much Criminal Minds. (Still a great show although I don’t catch it often anymore.)

Temporary Protective Order (Preface)

Posted on July 12, 2014 by losingemma

*****UPDATED and EDITED AUG. 3, 2014******

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma was recently living at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, majoring in counseling, and talking about getting married to T., an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for over a year for that toxicology report! And the funny thing is that Emma’s dad knows she’s said this but refuses to address it.) Emma also claimed her future mother-in-law lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family, although I heard from this lady that she feared no such thing. While in Ohio, Emma began telling stories about T’s family, making herself the victim again, but since she didn’t have her mother to be the persecutor, Emma began saying hurtful things about T’s mother, sister, and grandparents. In Sept. of last year, T. broke up with Emma, deciding he had doubts about her. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Christmas 2006
Emma Roey

TPO

There are two dates that will live in infamy in my own little war. One is March 14, 2011, which I think of as Emma’s Emancipation Day, and the other is April 7, 2011, the day my loving husband took out a Temporary Protective Order against me, and two officers from the sheriff’s department showed up at my door and told me I had to leave my home. I am going to tell the story of these two dates and I will publish the TPO and go through it page by page. This will take a while, so bear with me.

March 14, 2011

After Emma pulled her little “abused child” stunt at Christmas to stop the law suit that her attorneys were about to file against the priest that Emma claimed molested her (as well as a suit against the church and the diocese), we were all about therapy. We were enmeshed in therapy. We were covered up in therapy. Therapy was our life. Last I heard, Emma was majoring in “counseling.” Ironic, isn’t it?

Just before Emma accused me of abuse, she’d stopped seeing Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment and Counseling http://www.mannatreatment.com and started seeing Suzie McGarvey at Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com (now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com ). I had taken Emma to meet a few counselors, and Suzie was the one she liked best. Suzie was originally from Ohio, Catholic, married to a financial planner, and had two little girls. Suzie even brought her two girls, along with their Labradoodle, to a “Pet Photos with Santa” fundraiser that Emma and I worked at for the rescue. I still have photos of the girls with Santa and their dog.

Because of DFACS involvement, we were also seeing some therapists that contracted with DFACS, the Social Empowerment Center http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com (Lori McCarthy, Rachelle D. Hutchinson, Emily Kirby, Candace Whitman and Tamesha —sorry, Tamesha, I can’t remember your last name.) Emma was also talking with her high school counselor, Heather Thompson at Jefferson High School http://www.jeffcityschools.org. We had PLENTY of therapy going on. Emma got LOTS of attention, and was talking to therapists at least three times a week. She didn’t really make any friends at school, but she had plenty of therapists to talk to.

If I remember right, Emma was seeing Suzie McGarvey once a week, and then we were also doing family therapy at least every other week. The weekend before Emma’s March 14th appointment, she had asked me if just she and daddy could go to therapy. At first I said fine, but then said no because we were working on therapy as a family, and we all needed to go.

On March 14, I had a doctor’s appointment, so Phill took Emma to therapy, and I headed to Lanier Counseling after my doctor’s appointment to join them. When I walked into the waiting room, Phill was there, and Emma was in the office with Suzie McGarvey for her private therapy session. Phill and I sat and talked for a bit, and we’d each brought something to read while we waited.

When it was time for family therapy, Suzie came out and asked Phill to come in, but wanted me to stay in the waiting room. Ok, fine. After a few minutes, Phill came out and I asked him what was going on. He said Emma wanted to say something to him, but she didn’t want him to tell me, and he told her that he wouldn’t agree to that. He took my hand and held it, and said he wasn’t going to keep any secrets from me.

Suzie McGarvey came out again and asked Phill to come back in to her office. He went, and I sat there and waited and waited and waited. I remember at 35 minutes past our appointment time thinking we would not have much time for our family appointment, and then finally Suzie McGarvey called me in.
I walked in and sat on the sofa. Emma was at one end, Phill was in the middle, and I sat next to him on the other end. To be honest, I was so shocked and stunned by what I heard next, I know my memories of the details are a little fuzzy.

Suzie, Emma’s counselor who’d told Phill and I that we were only the 2nd couple she felt she could trust with her own children, and who’d told me that she wanted to have all Emma’s therapists “circle the wagons” to sort of call Emma out on her B.S., told me that Emma wanted to live in a group home to get away from me, and we needed to separate. After that is where it gets fuzzy. I couldn’t belive what I was hearing. Emma was accusing me of abuse, claiming I would shove or shake her and then block it out. The whole story was so bizarre. Later, I said over and over that I felt like I’d been run over by a truck. I was completely blindsided by what Emma did and what was to come. I think I was in shock at the ridiculousness of it all for a long time.

Part of what shocked me was that I was also Suzie McGarvey’s client, and I felt very betrayed by her blindsiding me like this. After Emma had accused me of “physical abuse” just before Christmas, she spent a week at Peachford Hospital (a mental health facility, or mental hospital), and then she finally came home. We met with Suzie to discuss therapy, family therapy, Phill and I meeting privately with Suzie, and me meeting privately with Suzie. I’ve been told this is a conflict of interest, that Suzie should not have been my therapist and Emma’s therapist, but I don’t know. I did send a letter to the Georgia Board of Examiners of Psychologists and Therapists, but never got to speak to an actual person and got the standard letter back saying they weren’t going to do anything…

I was ready to let Emma live in a group home, but Phill wasn’t. I thought this child needed to see how other people lived and then maybe it would sink in that she had it pretty darned good! I don’t remember a lot of what else that was said. I was shocked and cried and asked Emma why she was doing this. Mostly , she would not look me in the eye, but at one point she said in such a cold, hateful tone, “Mother, I love you, but you have a problem.” Well, for Emma to call me “Mother” meant something right there. Emma NEVER called me mother unless she was being sarcastic. She called me “Mom” or “Mommy” or “Maise.” She did not call me “Mother.”

Sometime before this session, I met privately with Suzie McGarvey, and I remember telling her about one morning when I told Emma to hurry because we needed to leave for school, and she screamed at me, “I’M TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!” Well, Emma took control and made sure that no one was going to be telling her what to do anymore.

I didn’t know what to do. Here was our therapist telling me I could not live in my home with my daughter. Being Emma’s mom, her interests came first. I knew she had to go to school, so I said I would go stay with a friend for a few days while we got this straightened out. It was more important to me that Emma stay in the home so that she could go to school and continue with all the things she needed to do. Emma had missed a lot of school in 9th grade due to her vomiting issues (when I was supposedly poisoning her with DDT) and I knew we needed to keep her in school.

I went home and packed a suitcase and went to the home of my friend, Janice for a few days. Poor Janice. Emma stayed with her for a few days at Christmas when she was in DFACS custody, and now I was staying with her. Unfortunately, Emma acted horribly at Janice’s, and I felt bad that Janice was dragged into our family problems yet again, but she is a true friend and was there for me once again. I was pretty much a wreck the whole time I was there. I did a lot of crying. I was in total shock by what my child had done.

I don’t remember when I came home. It may have been on the weekend. I do remember that it was another friend’s birthday on March 16th, and Phill and I went to her home to take her a bottle of wine, but I don’t remember what day we went, and I don’t know where Emma was staying then. She ended up staying with neighbors like old friends Ann and Jack Verner, our neighbors John and Judy Hall (Phill did a lot of computer work for the Halls, erasing hard drives, when their daughter was going through a divorce. Their story is almost as interesting as mine, and I’ll share it after I get the TPO posted.) and Cora and Randall Andrews, and some RC friends of Phill’s, Mike and Wendy Timms.

Recently, my friend’s husband brought up that day Phill and I took the bottle of wine over for my friend’s birthday. Phill talked to them about how we needed to get Emma home and straighten her out. My friend’s husband brought up how he never understood how Phill was so supportive of me when we stopped by, and then a few days later he would turn against me.

Sometime, while I was staying with Janice, Phill completely changed his tone. I have no idea what Emma said or what Suzie McGarvey may have said, but all of a sudden, my husband and best friend of nearly 30 years decided I was a child abuser.

I came home from Janice’s, and Emma was staying at John and Judy Hall’s, and she was to be off the next week for Spring Break. Phill wanted me gone so Emma could be home with Emma. Emma and I had planned on visiting a friend in N.C. over Spring Break, so I decided to go alone, and that way we wouldn’t have to find places to for Emma to stay. Of course, at this point, I thought we were still going to work on things as a family, but Phill had already decided what he was going to do, and while I was in N.C. crying my heart out every day, Phill and Emma went to see a divorce attorney named Seth Eisenberg at Bovis, Kyle, and Birch LLC in Atlanta. I remember looking up the website at some point, and it advertised divorce for dads. I recently looked it up again, and it appears Mr. Eisenberg may not work for Bovis, Kyle, and Birch anymore. I didn’t see his name anyway.

(Mr. Eisenberg was the attorney who later told my attorney that he thought Emma was crazy, that she ran the show, and that Phill didn’t come see him without bringing Emma. My attorney also confided in me that Mr. Eisenberg told him that every time they came in, Emma brought up the subject of a restraining order, really wanting to get a restraining order against me. At some point, Mr. Eisenberg told my attorney that he would handle Phill’s divorce, but he wanted nothing to do with “that kid.”)
While I was in N.C., Phill and Emma were having plenty of quality daddy/daughter time and doing things like going out to eat (something Emma loved to do because I tried to cook fairly healthy) and on little adventures like to the Atlanta Aquarium. I was very disappointed when I found out they went without me as that had been something we talked about doing as a family. We had been, a few years before, to the TN Aquarium and had a wonderful visit there. I still haven’t been to the Atlanta Aquarium. Maybe that’s something I should plan on doing soon.
While I was in N.C., I decided I was not going to be run out of my home. I had been attending a Bible Study group with Emma at the church we had recently changed to, Holy Trinity Anglican Church http://www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org/ in Flowery Springs, Ga. I enjoyed the study and the group of ladies and decided I was not going to miss our Wed. night session on the count of my lying daughter. It was my home, and I belonged at home. If Emma had a problem living in our home, she could go somewhere else.
Phill was furious with me for ruining his week. He had taken vacation time to take the week off and be with Emma, just like he had taken his vacation time when Emma pulled her DFACS stunt at Christmas.
I don’t remember if I came home that Tues. or Wed., but I had wanted to be home Wednesday evening to go to church. As it ended up, our Bible study was canceled, so I didn’t go after all, but Phill was furious with me for coming home. I think Emma stayed with Judy and John Hall that night, but I don’t really remember. I was still in shock over what was going on, but I was determined to stand up for myself.
The next morning, Thursday, April 7th, 2011, after barely speaking to me for the past couple of weeks, Phill was all interested in what I was doing that day. I later figured he needed to know my schedule so he could have the Temporary Protective order served. He wanted to know exactly where I was going and how long I’d be gone and if I was coming home after that…
When Emma was vomiting frequently, I had thought of trying a Yoga class, thinking it might help Emma relax. We only had gone a few times, and I really enjoyed it, but Emma not so much. Emma was very critical of things that were not Christian, and as much as I hate to say it, she was pretty closed minded about a lot of things. “Namaste” did not sound Christian enough for her, and Emma was pretty judgmental about Yoga although she knew very little about it. I found that I really liked how I felt after a class after all the stretching and then the relaxing at the end of class. Emma was also very competitive, and although I was 50 and not in particularly good shape, I could do the poses and stretches better, and the teacher was frequently helping or correcting Emma. When Emma got home from the psych hospital and started back to school, I continued to go to Yoga about once a week without her. Had she wanted to stick with it, I’d have made an effort to take her to an evening class, but she was not interested.
That Thursday, I decided to go to Yoga. Phill asked what time the class was and if I was coming home after that. It turned out that he took Emma to the court house with him to take out the TPO and then drove Emma to Chamblee, Ga, to the home of some old friends, Ann and Jack Verner. I had been friends with Ann’s daughter, Kathy, since high school, and she was Emma’s Godmother, but we’d lost touch over the past few years after Kathy left her husband who told Phill and I that Kathy had been having some affairs. Emma really couldn’t stand to have anything to do with Kathy, and when Kathy was living with her girl/boyfriend Andrea/Jason (It gets very confusing, but Andrea was going through a sex change to become Jason.) Kathy had a little birthday party/open house at their new home. Emma absolutely refused to go, and Phill was working, so since it was on the way, I dropped Emma off at Sandra Brooks McCravy’s house in Lawrenceville, Ga. on my way to Kathy’s. Sandi said Emma could stay with her while I went to Kathy’s. I stayed for a short visit at Kathy’s new home, and then went back to pick up Emma. Emma would not have anything to do with Kathy and refused to accept Kathy as a friend on her facebook up until she pulled the abused child act and then all of a sudden, Kathy was fine to have as a friend again.
Emma once again got to play the victim and was treated as the house guest at the Verner’s home. I don’t remember what all they did, but even with the trauma of being an abused child, Emma put pictures on her facebook of her visit. I have a cute one of her and one of Ann and Jack’s granddaughters

Georgia Board of Examiners of Psychologists (Manna Treatment and Counseling)

Posted on June 22, 2014 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma was recently living at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married to T., an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for that toxicology report.) She also claims her future mother-in-law lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family, although I heard from this lady that she feared no such thing. While in Ohio, Emma began telling stories about T’s family, making herself the victim again, but since she didn’t have her mother to be the persecutor, Emma began saying hurtful things about T’s mother, sister, and grandparents.

As always, if you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Someone recently contacted me about their own experience with Dr. Genie Burnett of Manna Treatement & Counseling, Duluth, Ga., and I was sharing with this person my experience with filing a complaint against Dr. Burnett. As I mentioned earlier, Dr. Genie Burnett was Emma’s therapist and I only sat in on a few full or partial visits with Emma or with Phill and Emma. When I started seeing a psychologist after Emma pulled her little, “I want to live in a group home.” stunt, this psychologist strongly encouraged me to file a complaint with the State Board against Dr. Genie Burnett. I was NEVER Dr. Genie Burnett’s patient nor was I a patient under anyone there at Manna Treatment & Counseling.
Dr. Genie Burnett told another of Emma’s therapists, Suzie McGarvey of Lanier counseling in Buford, Ga., who is now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates in Suwanee, Ga, that she diagnosed me by going through a checklist with Emma and asking, “Does your mother do this, this, and this?”
As it was explained to me, it was completely unprofessional of Dr. Genie Burnett to diagnose me as I was NOT her patient, AND it was unprofessional of her to diagnose me based on the complaints of my daughter, who, if you’ve read the blog, has a long history of lying.
Well, we’ve all heard of what happens when doctors discpiline doctors, and the Georgia Bord of Examiners of Psychologists is no different. I looked up what I needed to do through the office of the Secretary of the State, and it was all pretty much a waste of time. I wrote my letter with my complaints, and at no time did I ever get to talk to a live person, even though I called the office. Everything is done on paper or by internet. I’m sure it looks good for their stats. They can keep records of their complaints and show that they addressed them, all nice and neat without actually doing any real work looking into complaints.
Anyway, I tried to follow the rules and handle things appropriately, and here is what I received from the Secretary of State’s Office, Georgia Board of Examiners:

Randi Kristin “Chrissy” Lewis

Complaint/Compliance Specialist- Healthcare 1

The Georgia Secretary of State

Professional Licensing Boards

237 Coliseum Dr.

Macon, GA 31217

478-207-2440

At this point, I’ve sort of taken things into my own hands with telling my story here on the blog, and I figure if one person reads about Dr. Genie Burnett and Manna Treatment and Counseling and decides not to go there, I may save someone else from a lot of heartache.

Manna Treatment and Counseling, Dr. Genie Burnett (Updated)

Posted on June 15, 2014 by losingemma

Manna Treatment and Counseling and Dr. Genie Burnett

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma was recently living at the home of her fiance’s (Tyler Albert Buchheim) grandparents, Merrie and Albert Knopp in Liberty Township, Ohio. Emma is attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married to Tyler., an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for that toxicology report.) She also claims her future mother-in-law lives, Sherry Buchheim, lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family, although I heard from Ms. Buchheim that she feared no such thing. While in Ohio, Emma began telling stories about Tyelr’s family, making herself the victim again, but since she didn’t have her mother to be the persecutor, Emma began saying hurtful things about Tyler’s mother, his sister, Caitlin, and Tyler’s grandparents.

Phill and Emma on our trip to Ct. 2010. My sister and brother-in-law treated us to a wonderful boat trip and clam back dinner on a little island. Phill is drinking a little bottle of champagne because it was also our 26th anniversary. Emma has a great smile in this photo, but she was rude and nasty to my sister and brother-in-law for pretty much our entire visit hiding out in the basement or just being withdrawn and unfriendly.

Phill and Emma on our trip to Ct. 2010. My sister and brother-in-law treated us to a wonderful boat trip and clam bake dinner on a little island. Phill is drinking a little bottle of champagne because it was also our 26th anniversary. Emma has a great smile in this photo, but she was rude and nasty to my sister and brother-in-law for pretty much our entire visit hiding out in the basement or just being withdrawn and unfriendly.

I’ll be the first to admit I had no clue in how to go about choosing a therapist. After claiming to be sexually abused by a priest at our church, I felt like Emma needed to talk to a “professional” who could help her deal with what happened. Earlier, I mentioned that when Emma went to speak to a therapist at the Tree House in Winder, Ga, Emma was uncooperative. Phill and I gave Emma a break for about a month, and then decided she would see a therapist after we returned from visiting family in early July.

The Deacon at our church, who had been instrumental in helping us file a complaint against the priest Emma accused, recommended a therapist, and my friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy) recommended her therapist, Dr. Genie Burnett. All I knew about Dr. Burnett was that Sandi had seen her off and on for about 11 years at that point. Sandi had had an eating disorder and had abused laxatives many years before. She told me that Dr. Genie Burnett primarily treated eating disorders but because a lot of eating disorders stemmed from sexual abuse, Dr. Burnett had a lot of experience with girls like Emma. Sandi had gone to private sessions with Dr. Burnett as well as group therapy along with other women. Sandi frequently confided in me about her sessions with Dr. Genie Burnett and told me what she talked to her about. I remember a lot of it was issues with her family, primarily her mother, but also Sandi had issues with her brother and his wife who were more affluent than Sandi and Greg, and issues with her sister, the former beauty queen.

Dr. Burnett also treated Sandi’s son, Derek who suffered with Asperger’s, a mild form of Autisim. At one point, Sandi told me that Dr. Burnett was the one who had diagnosed Derek when he was about 8 years old, but some time before that, Sandi had been in denial about Derek’s problems and had told me all his problems were related to food allergies. She went to see various people about alternative medicine therapies and frequently had Derek on some kind of supplement that was supposed to keep him in check. She claimed that he couldn’t eat gluten or dairy, but if he wanted pizza she could just give him some supplements and he could eat what he wanted. Sandi frequently tried things that I thought were a little odd to me. One time, Sandi bought some sort of foot soak that was supposed to pull toxins out of your body if you just soaked your feet in it. I thought it sounded ridiculous, but Sandi claimed that her godmother, Wren, who had been battling cancer, used one of these things and had recommended it. I remember her telling me it cost something ridiculous, like $600, but Sandi got a deal on hers. I thought the whole thing was bizarre and a waste of money, but people will do what they will do.

Sandi raved about Dr. Genie Burnett when she was telling me how Dr. Burnett was the one to diagnose Derek, but on a previous occasion, Sandi had confided in me that when the boys were little and she was on government assistance, one of the doctors who saw the kids tried to tell her that Derek had autism, but she wouldn’t accept it. I don’t remember what government program the boys were on. Since we live in Georgia, it may have been PeachCare, but Sandi took the boys out of the program because she didn’t want that diagnosis on Derek’s record. She stayed in denial about his problems for many years, and I remember once when a woman named Ruth, who we worked with us gave, Sandi’s name and phone number to a lady who had a child with autism, and the woman called Sandi, Sandi was furious. She called me up, ranting and raving that Ruth had no right to give her phone number to this woman because Derek did not have autisim!

There were so many inconsistencies in what Sandi told me about Derek and autism, but I never questioned her. Sandi was always super sensitive on the issue, and knowing how we mamas are fiercely protective of our kids, I just let it go.
Derek would fight with his parents, pretty much like any teen, and at one point, he got so angry that he stabbed himself with a pencil and Sandi and Greg had to take him to the ER. The ER wanted to admit him to SummitRidge Psychiatric hospital in Lawrenceville, but Sandi would NOT have it! She was concerned that that would create a record that would follow him around for life.

Derek’s senior year of high school, Sandi began falling apart, calling me frequently, crying, sometimes hysterically, over the thought of Derek going off to college. Derek is a very bright young man and received a scholarship to Mercer University in Macon, Ga. I frequently had to “talk Sandi down” as Phill liked to phrase it, and I reassured her that he would be fine, and that Macon was not that far away, and if she wanted, I would drive down there with her to see him.

Derek, on the other hand, seemed just fine about the thought of going off to college, but Sandi thought he needed to see Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment on a regular basis before he went off to live in the dorm. Because of Derek’s diagnosis, he was able to get a private room in the dorm, and he went off to college happy and excited about his new adventure. In the typical teenage fashion, Sandi complained that he did not call home enough.

Probably the deciding factor in choosing a counselor was that Dr. Genie Burnett was a Christian counselor, and Emma, being a conservative Christian, wanted to go to a Christian counselor. I didn’t really care who Emma went to as long as it was someone she felt comfortable with and someone she could talk to, so we made an appointment with Dr. Genie Burnett.

Manna Treatment Part 2

After we returned from vacation, Emma had her first visit with Dr. Genie Burnett (Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett) at Manna Treatment & Counseling, Duluth, Ga. Emma and I went to meet Dr. Burnett together the first time. Her office was very nicely decorated, and she was young, trendy-looking, loved shoes, and she drove some sort of SUV with “Manna” on the license plate.

Dr. Burnett talked a lot more about herself than I would have thought a therapist would have, telling us about her own history and eating disorder, and she brought her own history up, I think, on every session I sat in on. This just surprised me. Granted my only experience with therapy to this point had been what I’d seen on television, but I just assumed the therapist would sort of keep themselves out of it. On television, they always seem to be trying to get the patient to talk.

Before we left that first session, Dr. Genie Burnett prayed with us, and this was something that was very important to Emma. She definitely wanted a Christian counselor.

Emma really liked Dr. Burnett. She thought she was cool. I can’t say I was crazy about her, but if Emma liked her, that was all I wanted. I thought Emma needed a professional to talk to, and my feelings about Dr. Burnett didn’t matter as she was not my therapist. (Even though she did diagnose me with Paranoid Borderline Personality disorder by asking Emma questions about me! At $135/hr in 2010, I guess we were getting a 2 for 1 !!!) I didn’t think Dr. Burnett seemed like a very warm person, maybe a little snooty, and I wondered if she had had some enhancement surgery, but none of this mattered. I guess I was doing my own evaluation of Dr. Burnett, thinking that if she had battled an eating disorder and had a low opinion of herself, she probably would probably be the type to have gotten plastic surgery.

At Emma’s sessions, she usually went in alone. Phill and I went with her once or twice, and I went with her a few times, but usually just for a few minutes.

On some visits, I brought the family dog, Spike, and took walks while Emma was in therapy. Of course bringing Spike brought it’s own set of complications, but I was determined not to give in to Emma. I was spending a good 2+ hours driving back and forth, and then waiting around for her on those therapy days, and if I wanted to bring our dog to have a walking buddy, I should have been allowed to. Emma complained about everything with Spike. She sat up front with me, but complained that I brought him, when I put the windows down in the back for him, etc. I often thought I was getting a taste of what it would have been like if Emma had a sibling.

Emma had done the same thing with the dog we had before Spike. I always thought it was a jealousy problem. Like in a lot of households, mom is the one who takes care of the dogs, and the dogs always paid more attention to me than to anyone else in the family. That was just the way it was, but Emma was always fairly mean to Spike. She would ignore him when she came home and he ran to her, excited to see her. I would tell her to say hello to him, and she would say a very monotone “Hi Spike.” But not bother to pet him or otherwise acknowledge him. Occasionally, I would see Emma hit, kick, or push Spike out of her way when she had plenty of room to walk around him. My sister also saw some of this behavior when she visited. It upset me greatly, as we volunteered with a dog/cat rescue organization, and here was Emma being abusive to our own dog. I really think Emma could not stand the attention that I paid to Spike, and it made me so sad that Spike always loved Emma. Talk about unconditional love! He was always happy to see her and tried to get some attention from her, but like dogs do, he never held a grudge as to how she treated him. I wonder if now Emma claims she abused the family dog because of the abuse she received from her paranoid borderline mother?

Emma started out seeing Dr. Genie Burnett twice a week, and then when school started, I think that was too difficult, so she began seeing her once a week. On the ride home, I tried to give Emma her privacy about her sessions. I didn’t ask what she talked about, but usually just asked, “How did it go?”

12 Stone was a big church with a big youth group, and seemed like a nice place for Emma to get involved. A few kids that she knew occasionally showed up to the group. Emma knew a couple of kids from from homeschooling, and one young lady that Emma knew from Gwinnett Young Singers, a children’s choir that Emma was involved in. I believe her name was Rachael Wood. (You can see Emma in a group Gwinnet Young Singers Photo here: http://gwinnettyoungsingers.com/concert-choir.html Emma is in the top row, third young lady from the left. If I remember right, that is Rachel to the left of Emma (Emma’s right). I will share more on Emma’s experience with Gwinnet Young Singers later.

Emma seemed like she enjoyed the youth group at 12 Stone, although I often had to encourage her to go. Once she went, when I picked her up, she sounded like she had a great time. She would tell me what went on and what the talked about, most of which I don’t remember now.

One time, Emma claimed the youth leader talked about purity, and Emma was upset that her purity had been taken from her. I tried to explain that she couldn’t help what happened and that she wasn’t out having sex, she had been a victim. Emma told me I just didn’t get it, and at the next visit with Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment, she stated that Dr. Genie understood how she felt about losing her purity even though I didn’t get it. (One of those moments where I thought, “Ok, whatever.” I was glad she had someone to talk it over with because I was the lowly mom, and whatever I said was the wrong thing!)

In Nov. of 2010, Emma wanted to go on a weekend retreat with the 12 Stone group, and Phill and I were all for it except for one little thing. Emma was taking Zofran pretty much round the clock and sleeping a lot. If she didn’t take the Zofran, she was throwing up a lot. We didn’t seen any point in spending a lot of money for her to go on a weekend trip and then sleep through it. Emma and I discussed it with Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment, and she told me to let Emma go and if she threw up she threw up. I didn’t have a problem with that, but Emma wanted to go and take her Zofran round the clock, which Phill and I did not agree with.
Emma was furious at me because we didn’t let her go. I always got the blame because I was the primary disciplinarian, so even if Phill and I talked it over and made a decision, Emma would always say whatever decision we made that she didn’t agree with was all my fault because Daddy had to go along with whatever I said.

As I mentioned earlier, my main complaints about Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment were as follows.

After Emma was in the custody of DFACS, Phill and I found a letter she’d written to “Lacey” the cyber friend, mentioning that her attorneys were ready to file the lawsuit and that her mother had Paranoid Borderline Personality Disorder. Or, it may have been Borderline Paranoid Personality Disorder. I will have to dig out the letter and see. It doesn’t really matter. Phill and I couldn’t understand how Dr. Genie Burnett could have diagnosed me with anything as I was not her patient. I sat in on a few partial or full sessions with Emma, but that was all. How in the world does a professional psychologist diagnose someone they are not treating? To me, this certainly seems like unprofessional conduct!
Suzie McGarvey at Lanier Counseling (who is now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) later told Phill and I that Dr. Genie Burnett went through a checklist with Emma and said, “Does your mother do this, this, and this?” and that was how I got the professional diagnosis of Paranoid Borderline Personality Disorder from Dr. Genie Burnett. Wow. All those years of college and earning a Ph.D. and that’s all there is to it? I think I could do that job without a college degree, and I wouldn’t charge $135/hour to do it! Phill and I were stunned. I would love to see Dr. Genie Burnett’s notes to see exactly what Emma said about me. With her ability to embellish the simplest story, I’m sure she came up with quite an entertaining tale for Dr. Burnett!
I can understand a “professional” psychologist forming an opinion about a person. When Emma was taking AP Psychology on line (which is where I’m sure she got some of her abuse stories from) she would try to tell me I was this or that. Being a teenager with one Psychology course under her belt of course made her an expert, so in addition to being a “control freak” and “micromanaging” her life, if I put something away I was anal, if I checked to make sure I locked the door, I was OCD. I can’t even remember all the labels Emma gave me. Sometimes it was funny, other times annoying, but there was no doubt Emma was into her Psych class.
When Emma’s GI doctor (Emma had a long history of vomiting issues which she now claims is because I poisoned her for years with DDT.) recommended taking Emma to a psychiatrist to put her on an antidepressant, and he wanted me to check with her psychologist (Dr. Genie Burnett, Manna Treatment) to see if she felt like this was appropriate, I asked around for some names, including asking Dr. Genie Burnett. I was kind of surprised at her enthusiasm about Emma going on an antidepressant. She told me she thought it was a good idea and then said, “I’ve been on and off antidepressants for years!” This comment made me very uncomfortable, and the way she was so glib about it, and I told Phill that it bothered me. I thought to myself, “Hmmmm, even if you were on and off antidepressants for years, would you really want to tell people that?”
I don’t remember the name of the doctor that Dr. Burnett gave us, but we lived in Hoschton, and he was in Roswell, about an hour away. Later on I asked Dr. Burnett if she could recommend anyone closer and she told me that the reason she gave us the name of that psychiatrist was that he was going to be joining her office sometime in the next year.
We were having a difficult time getting Emma to get her school work done because she wanted to sleep all the time. She was vomiting a lot and taking Zofran up to three times a day, but I would also guess that Emma was tired because when we thought she was in bed, she was pretending to be asleep, but she was up at all hours of the night with her other “mommy” Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy) chit chatting on the phone. If I tried to discuss anything with Dr. Burnett, there would be hell to pay. Emma always looked at it like I was “telling” on her, rather than I was trying to work on our family life. Emma cared how Dr. Genie Burnett saw her, and wanted to present herself a certain way, but her mom always wrecked things by revealing that Emma was not this perfect little mature, well-spoken young woman she wanted people to think she was. If I said anything that Emma took as criticizing of her, she would be furious with me once we left Dr. Burnett’s office, so I didn’t say too much on the few sessions I sat in on.
I sent Dr. Burnett and e-mail about some of the problems we were having with Emma and how we were having trouble getting Emma to do her school work. When I took Emma to her next session, Dr. Burnett wanted me to come in with Emma for the first few minutes, and then I was MORTIFIED when Dr. Genie Burnett read my e-mail in front of Emma. I should have stopped Dr. Burnett immediately, but I was so shocked that she did that, I just didn’t think. You want to see one angry child! Once again, the story of my teenage daughter’s life, she was livid with her mother!
The comment about being on and off antidepressants for years, diagnosing me with Paranoid Borderline Personality Disorder, and reading my e-mail in front of Emma were all listed in my complaint with the board about Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment.

Next Post, since several people have asked, I’ll probably switch gears and share the Temporary Protective Order and how Emma Pulled her “I want to live in a group home.” At Suzie McGarvey’s of Lanier Counseling in Buford, Ga. (Now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates in Suwanee, Ga.) Emma took advantage of several familes who took in the poor abused child who couldn’t live at home with her mother. I will share some of those stories as well.

“I tried nurturing her to spread her wings and fly, but she grew claws and tried to bleed me dry.” —Author Unknown.

Just to Clarify

Posted on June 8, 2014 by losingemma

Back to the blog shortly, but first a shout out to my old neighbor, Judy Hall, who brought up something I should address. Since this is my blog, I can write about whatever and whomever I want. I don’t need anyone’s permission. I’ve already been advised by my attorney about this, so I will continue telling MY story. I will be sharing stories that Emma told me or others. I will also be sharing stories Phill told me about friends and neighbors involved with Emma. Of course, there are people I don’t want to see hurt such as the girl Emma claimed was raped and attempted suicide, so those names will appear in quotations. Any lies that Emma told to someone else that I mention on the blog are documented for me by the people who told them to me.
Thanks, Judy for bringing it up. And of course, when I get to your part of the story, I’ll be happy to verify it with you, if you want, to make sure I have all the details correct.

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend, Tyler Buchheim’s family in Ohio, Tyler’s mother, Sherry Knopp
Buchheim, was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted Sherry Knopp Buchheim, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Tyler Buchheim eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
Emma has accused me of a crime (or two!). I do not take this lightly. At this point, Emma has two choices. She can bring charges against me or apologize. Well, I guess three choices. She can continue to lie about me, and I will continue to write about this journey I am on.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma and ROTC

Posted on June 1, 2014 by losingemma

Emma took ROTC at JCCHS in 9th grade and hated it.

Recently, I’ve heard from four people who shared some Emma stories with me. I’ve been thinking a lot about Emma’s problem with lying. I’m not sure I really understand lying. Why does Emma lie? Is it a mental illness? Is it a need for drama? I don’t get it. Fiction is one thing, and it’s a shame Emma didn’t use her gift of lying and turn it in to writing her stories instead of hurting other people with them.

In Fall of 2008, when Emma started 9th grade at Jackson County Comprehensive High School (JCCHS), Emma signed up for two electives. One was Drama, which she loved, and she even got the lead in the school play, and another was ROTC. I couldn’t believe Emma signed up for ROTC. My child? It just did not seem like something she would be interested in.
Emma explained to me that there were only two electives to sign up for that period, so it was either dance or ROTC, “And I SUCK at dance!” Ok, I got her point.

You can see from the picture that Emma made a cute little soldier, although she hated ROTC. She did not speak kindly of the other kids in ROTC overall. She claimed a neighbor’s son, who lived around the block from us, became her platoon leader and was abusive. She claimed one of her ROTC classmates was pregnant and had a baby that semester. I discovered that students are not allowed in ROTC if they are pregnant, and one student told me they are not allowed to rejoin if they do have a baby. (Emma also claimed that there were 9 or 10 pregant 9th graders, and this was not true.)
One story Emma told was rather humorous about a young lady who lived next door to us with her mom and stepdad. Kristen C. was in Emma’s ROTC class. Emma claimed that her platoon leader had stalked our neighbor girl, standing out on our street, near their mailbox, staring at the house, waiting for Kristen to appear. This seemed a little odd as you couldn’t even see their house from the road, so I’m not sure what the point would be in standing out by the street, but who am I to question what a lovesick teenager would do? I was in and out several times a day and never noticed this boy at our neighbors’ mailbox, but I could have missed him.
Emma told me a story about how when they had to do an oral presentation in class, Kristen got nervous like she always did, and ran to the bathroom to throw up. According to Emma, Kristen did this every time she had to do some sort of report or presentation in front of the class. Having known people that threw up in the same situation, I felt bad for Kristen and just assumed it was something she’d grow out of.
On this particular occasion, Kristen took so long to come back to class that the ROTC instructor sent Emma to check on her in the bathroom. Emma said she went in and Kristen was vomiting away, and looked up and said,”I don’t know why I do this?” laughed and then wretched again. Cute story. Did it happen? One of Emma’s classmates told me that she never knew of Kristen throwing up in class. She said Kristen was a good speaker and became a platoon leader.
So, what is the point of this story? Does it have to do with the whole Drama triangle thing? Emma is making herself the rescuer in this situation, going to check on an ailing classmate. Was it to make her feel special that the teacher singled HER out to go check on Kristen? Was it to portray Kristen as weak? I just don’t understand lying. Maybe Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.), Suzie McGarvey (North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Suwanee, Ga.) or Dr. Richard Born (Applied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.) can explain it to me since they are the professionals in this area. Does Emma believe her own lies or does she just lie to have something to say. Emma could look right at you and deny doing something you just saw her do with your very own eyes. Then she could make up something like, “no, I didn’t do that, I was actually doing this……..” and I remember thinking that Emma lied as easily as she breathed. Of course, at the time, I just thought this was being a kid and never dreamed this was a problem.

Time, Space, and Clarity

Posted on May 20, 2014 by losingemma

May 20, 2014

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Emma’s boyfriend/fiance eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
Emma has accused me of a crime (or two!). I do not take this lightly. At this point, Emma has two choices. She can bring charges against me or apologize. Well, I guess three choices. She can continue to lie about me, and I will continue to write about this journey I am on.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com
This picture is just after Emma got her braces off. See that beautiful smile! I had taken Emma to a basic sewing class, and she started sewing. She made this blouse, and I just happened to have made a necklace some years before that went with it perfectly. Oh, and like every other teen out there, you did notice the cell phone in her pocket didn’t you?

I will get back to writing about our experiences with therapy, but this is what was on my mind today.

Time, Space, and Clarity

Sometime after Emma accused me of abuse, my attorney and I contacted the parents of the girl (On line friend) that Emma claimed was raped and had attempted suicide. (Emma claimed this young woman’s rape brought up her own memories of being sexually molested by a priest.) I had a couple of conversations with the mother of “Lacey” and found out that none of it happened as well as many other things Emma had told me about “Lacey’s” family. There was NO RAPE. There was NO Suicide attempt. Lacey did not call Emma, hysterical, from the ER after attempting suicide. While Lacey’s mom had battled breast cancer, she was never in the hospital, close to death as Emma had claimed. In fact, she was never in the hospital at all from the cancer. She was treated as an outpatient. It was all a big fat lie, so I’m just assuming Emma’s “repressed memories” are a big fat lie as well.

I asked “Lacey’s” mother for any e-mails Emma had sent to Lacey, and she turned them over to my attorney and me. At the time, I was still in shock and devastated by what Emma had done, and I just sort of skimmed over these letters. My attorney read through them and mentioned to me how much Emma talked about control, being in control, wanting to be in control…

Looking through the letters was very painful to me then. There were funny stories about Emma’s church youth group, which made me miss my daughter, and there were a lot of disturbing stories. I picked out a few outright lies, and put the letters away. It was too painful to look at them in 2011.

The other day, I got out these letters again. As I mentioned earlier, these letters are probably the reason Emma was failing her physics class that year. She told her teacher she was failing because she was dealing with being molested, but when I look at the pages and pages of letters that Emma wrote to “Lacey” and she mentions computer chatting with her as well, and I know she was also hand writing letters and texting “Lacey” so I don’t think there was much school work getting done when Emma was sitting for hours in front of her computer.

Someone recently shared the following from John Rosemond. I’ve just attached part of his column, but you can read it in it’s entirety on his site. Someone had written in about a difficult 13 year old daughter, and I am attaching part of his response.

John Rosemond
Rosemond.com

(SNIP) Allow me to speculate as to what is going on here. All too many of today’s young teen girls seem to feel that a life that’s devoid of drama has no meaning, no significance. In the absence of truly valid drama (which very few of them have claim to), they invent drama.

In these invented soap operas, they play the role of victim. The list of anta¬gonists includes certain peers (rivals, ex-boyfriends), teachers, administrators, various emotional issues that supposedly beset them, and, of course, their parents. The invariable theme: My life would be wonderful, as it should be, if it weren’t for (fill in the blank with the imagined victimizers).

How does it feel to have loved a child unconditionally and taken excellent care of her for 13 years only to have her turn you into a villain? Ungratefulness is the price many parents are paying for having made sure their children lacked for nothing. The most generous hand is the one most likely to be bitten.

Obviously, there is no real problem here. Your daughter simply has too much time on her hands. With this excess of time, she thinks about herself and conjures up reasons why her misery at being your daughter is justified. It never crosses her mind that she has never had to want for food, clothing, medical care, heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, free vacations and so on. (SNIP)

Wow. Does this article describe Emma, or what? I’ve also found that I am not alone in this club of hated parents. There are many members and many, many stories. I’ve also found there are many of us, falsely accused of abuse by our own children.
Emma was always the victim when she was part of a group. The girls Emma rode to high school with on the bus were mean to her. If she was on a team, there was someone that didn’t like her. If she was in Sunday school, she complained about the teacher being a liberal and not letting Emma share her conservative thinking. If she had a problem with a class, it was because the teacher didn’t like her. If she didn’t get a part in the play it was because the drama teacher (Jefferson High School, Mr. Bright) had his favorites. If Emma and I had an argument, when Phill got home, she would completely twist something I said into something that didn’t even resemble what I’d said. (And having a high very IQ, she was definitely good at it. I don’t know what my IQ is, and I don’t want to!)

I thought Emma liked being homeschooled because it gave her time for other activities, but like this article says, I think Emma had too much time on her hands. Phill and I always joked how we liked our boring lives. We’d seen Phill’s brother go through some pretty tumultuous times with his wives, and we were always grateful that that wasn’t us. We liked being dull. I had no idea what was going on in Emma’s head. I guess her life needed meaning. She needed drama!

“The most generous hand is the one most likely to be bitten.” Boy, does that strike a chord with me! It’s not like the case of “Affluenza” in Texas, but I think there are similarities. Phill and I were middle class. Since I stayed home with Emma, we were careful with our money, but Emma never lacked for anything. We all know what mom’s do around the house, and in addition to that, I homeschooled Emma for 5 years. Pretty much any activity that Emma wanted to try, we did: piano, church choir, Gwinnett Young Singers, water color lessons, church camp, dance class, art classes, nature camp, knitting group, library reading clubs, karate, softball, kayacking, spelling bees, drama classes, church youth group, church activities, baby sitting, Red Cross First Aide class, ROTC ……..and the list goes on and on. I don’t know how working moms do it. I did so much driving to get Emma to all her activities, that I can’t imagine working and being able to do that. Then there’s things like the orthodontist, and as much complaining as Emma did about that, I probably thought to myself 1000 times that her teeth weren’ t that bad and I wished we hadn’t bothered with the time and expense, but I will say, she had a beautiful smile when she got the braces off. I never understood all the complaining. I know kids complain, and I’m sure I did my share as a kid, but I remember being really proud of my “tinsel teeth.” (And Emma didn’t even have to wear the dorky head gear apparatus that a lot of us did!)
And what about all those nights we parents stay up with our kids helping them finish a project? One time when Emma was going to Happening, a church teen retreat, she wanted to make a gift for all the other kids. I don’t remember how many kids there were, I think a little under 200. Emma had this idea to make bookmarks, so Phill printed out what she wanted on the computer with about 5 book marks to a sheet. Emma painted each sheet with watercolors and sort of a rainbow affect. Then, the bookmarks had to all be cut out and laminated and then the laminate had to be trimmed on each bookmark. Guess who stayed late cutting bookmarks. Like the typical kid, Emma was rushing around at the last minute, and would not have finished if I hadn’t spent hours cutting bookmarks for her.

While going through these letters again, I found many, many lies and many examples of Emma’s “poor me” syndrome. She often mentions being depressed and states it could be her medicine making her depressed, but this was drama as well because Emma wasn’t on any medicine at that time.

Emma made up a lot of stories that were fairly harmless but made good stories. For example, she claimed a found a friend passed out after seeing a spider. She told funny stories about some of the younger kids at church, and there was a cute one about her friend Jordan”s little brother told Emma that Jordan had gotten into Emma’s purse. Emma said Jordan was trying to send a text message to the boy that Emma liked with Emma’s phone, and how Emma caught on when the voice recorder came on asked if she wanted to send the message to “Edward.” Cute story. Did it happen?

When our neighbors lost their teenage son, Emma wrote about going to her “friend’s” funeral even though she’d never said more than hello to this boy. She also wrote a sweet story to “Lacey” about babysitting a neighbor’s little boys the day after the funeral, and how the children were told that “Oliver” went to sleep and woke up with Jesus. Emma claimed that one of the boys pretended to be asleep and said he wanted to wake up with “Oliver.” It was a sweet story, but Emma never babysat these children, just like (in an earlier post) she never babysat our priest’s children and never had to lock herself in the bathroom and call 911 because the priest’s bipolar son was acting up.

Emma talks about the girls she rode the school bus with buying and using drugs on the bus. I verified with one of the girls that that she never saw drugs being sold on the bus.

Emma mentions the time our inflated pool collapsed while she and Kayla Benifield were in it, and tells about Kayla hitting her head on a tree. Nope, that didn’t happen either. I have pictures of the two girls in the pool as the water drained out of it.

Emma talks about a woman she didn’t like monopolizing the conversation at our church book club, and the only thing is, this woman never came to the book club.

Emma mentioned to “Lacey” that she was making brownies for church and would be murdered if the broke the heirloom platter that she’d put the brownies on, only Phill and I didn’t have any heirlooms.

One day, when I have more time, I will go through each of these letters and tell you exactly what is in them. I can’t really publish the letters, since they are Emma’s, but I can read them and write about them.

Emma’s Descent into Therapy, Part 2, Manna Treatment and Counseling

Posted on May 14, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Emma’s boyfriend/fiance eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

(Thank you. You know who you are.)

Manna Treatment Part 2

Before we left that first session, Dr. Genie Burnett prayed with us, and this was something that was very important to Emma. She definitely wanted a Christian counselor.

At Emma’s sessions, she usually went in alone. Phill and I went with her once or twice, and I went with her a few times, but usually just for a few minutes.

On some visits, I brought the family dog, Spike, and took walks while Emma was in therapy. Of course bringing Spike brought it’s own set of complications, but I was determined not to give into Emma. I was spending a good 2+ hours driving back and forth, and then waiting around for her on those therapy days, and if I wanted to bring our dog to have a walking buddy, I should have been allowed to. Emma complained about everything with Spike. She sat up front with me, but complained that I brought him, when I put the windows down in the back for him, etc. I often thought I was getting a taste of what it would have been like if Emma had a sibling.

During the time we were seeing Dr. Burnett, we had stopped attending our church, but I wanted Emma doing something with other kids, so I told her we needed to find her another youth group to attend. She went to a couple and didn’t like them, and then started attending the youth group at the Hamilton Mill 12 Stone Church on Wednesday evenings. We had attended a neighborhood Bible study for about 5 years, and many of our friends there attended 12 Stone. Once a year, 12 Stone did a CIA Day (Compassion in Action) and Emma went with one of our neighbors to help at one of the volunteer locations. She made balloon animals and did face painting for the children. Something that just occurred to me is that when Emma came home she talked about what a bad area this was. (It was a trailer park.) Emma claimed it was an area with a lot of drugs and that she saw all kinds of syringes on the ground. Hmmmmmm. I e-mailed some of the people who were at the event, and was told that they were warned before they went out there that was drug use in that area. I wonder if Emma was the only one who saw syringes on the ground, or did any other folks? Since Emma exaggerated so much about drugs and sex going on in high school, I just assuming that since the volunteers were warned about drug use in the area, Emma probably made up the part about seeing syringes on the ground.

Emma went with a neighbor to Aubun, Ga. to assist with a day of Compassion in Action with 12 Stone Church. She made balloon animals for the children.

More to come…………that’s all the time I have tonight

12 Stone was a big church with a big youth group, and seemed like a nice place for Emma to get involved.

Losing Emma

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