If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.
Christmas 2008, one of Emma’s gifts was a fairly extensive make-up set. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey
Letters to “Lacey” Part 7
May 3, 2009
This 6 page typewritten letter starts out with Emma apologizing for not writing for a week but she says she has a pretty good excuse.
Emma changes the subject and talks about listening to a song by Natalie Grant called Perfect People which, for those who may not be familiar with the song, starts like this:
This song is not for you, if you’ve never cried a river
Or had your heart broken in two
This song is not for you, if everyday you wake up
The skies are blue
But this is for anyone, no matter how you pray
The pain won’t let you get through
But you try and you try
Still they lie, they say that it’s over for you
Read more: The Walls Group – Perfect People Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Emma says this song is so true. She guesses that is basically human nature. It sort of ties into hiding emotions, which Emma understands because she does that too. She doesn’t want to hurt people or EVEN WORSE damage their perception of her. Emma says she tries to appear flawless before everyone because that is what she wants to be. She guesses subconsciously that she hopes if enough people think she is a wonderful person then maybe she will be that person. She asks “Lacey,” “Ya get what I’m saying?” and says from “Lacey’s” letter, she thinks she does.
Emma says she totally connects to another Natalie Grant song called Back to My Heart.
Strong on the outside
But coming apart at the seams
That’s me
Tragically always together
But bruised underneath
Well, that’s me
I stand just to stumble
Tripping on my pride
Why do I always try to hide?
Meanwhile, back at my heart
I’m desperate for all that You are
Undo me, take me apart
Read more: Natalie Grant – Back At My Heart Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Emma says she definitely has issues with surrendering and trusting Him completely with her life. It is not something she can fathom. She is one of those people who always has to appear in control, even when her life is really coming apart. She has to be the organizer, to plan everything, to know exactly what’s going on down to the last minute detail.
Next Emma starts answering random questions. Her birthday is Dec. 19, 1993. Her e-mail is dogbreath….., and she talks about wanting to read the book “Lacey” mentioned called Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. She says she’d heard of it and had seen ads for it in World magazine. She says she hasn’t read it, but she wants to.
Emma mentions “Lacey” telling her about her imaginary friend, Christine, and Emma says it is not lame that “Lacey” had an imaginary friend. Emma confesses that she never had an imaginary friend, but she did write letters to nobody in particular. It is much easier than actually confiding in someone. Emma says she is always the first person her friends trust with secrets and the last person to share her own. Also, as she mentioned before, Jordan is the only girlfriend Emma has that she sees a lot, and Jordan is just not someone Emma trusts with secrets. It is nothing personal, it is just that Emma knows Jordan does not think before she speaks. She eventually blurts things out one way or another. (In case “Lacey is wondering, Emma has learned this from experience.” Jordan doesn’t mean to to this, and she is very sorry afterwards, but that is not much help. Emma says she would rather not induce the inevitable. Like she said, Emma has to be in control, and sharing secrets is sharing control. Emma adds that she is an only child and doesn’t share well, and then says in parentheses “Half Joking. Half serious.”
Emma comments on something “Lacey” said in her last letter and says that “Lacey” and Emma are a lot of like because they won’t tell people when they are hurt because they want to handle it themselves, but they are quick to comfort friends who are hurting.
Emma says she guesses “Lacey” has figured out that she is disappointed with Obama. She hopes that the economy will hit rock bottom during his term because that would more likely get people to vote conservative in 2012. Emma says she would love to see Huckabee run.
Emma talks about reading in Reader’s Digest that Shyness is a disease, and BTW she loves Reader’s Digest. She talks about “Lacey” and her sisters………….
(If you have been reading the blog, you will remember that Emma used an article from Reader’s Digest just a few months before writing this letter to Lacey. While attending Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Emma claimed that the kids had drug parties where they took anything they could get from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw all the pills in a bowl, and then passed the bowl around, so each participant could grab a handful of pills and swallow them. I later realized Emma had gotten this idea from the Reader’s Digest.)
In the next paragraph, Emma says she knows what “Lacey” means about wanting to talk to the guys at her church. When Emma was at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she passes her neighbors, Josh and Neal Andrews on the narrow sidewalk that led to first block (class). She says they used to be really close friends from her birth to about first grade. Then they went to different schools and grew apart, but every day they’d be the only people on that far end of campus at 8:15, and never once in the five months we saw each other every day did they ever speak to each other. They both pretended the other party didn’t exist. Emma felt like it was their “home turf” and if they wanted to establish a friendship then fine, and if not, that’s fine too, but Emma didn’t want to invade anyone’s world by pushing herself in.
Anyway, Emma hoped He would help “Lacey” find the courage to talk to the guys at church and that “Lacey” already has something in common with these guys, their faith, and maybe He’ll use the connection to create relationships that will help others.
(If you ever saw JCCHS around 2008, it was a very crowded school. I can’t imagine Emma, Josh, and Neal being the ONLY ones anywhere on that campus. Any time before or after school, or between classes, there were kids everywhere.)
May 4, 2009
Emma talks about how “Lacey’s” dance recital sounds like fun, and Emma can’t dance, so she envies “Lacey.” The picture “Lacey” sent of “Lacey” and Nikki was great, and Lacey’s school picture was perfect. Emma wishes she had that good a picture; hers looks fake, but then she generally doesn’t like pictures of herself.
Emma mention’s “Lacey’s” voice recital and says she used to be in choir with Rob and Jordan until out church decided to cut it because there weren’t enough kids. Emma claims she ended up either getting the solos or singing the solos because the other soloists chickened out. Emma, on the other hand, just doesn’t care what people think, and church people are nice, ya know? Gnenerally, with the exception of the L family. Although they go bay a different name in “Lacey’s” town, Emma says she is sure they go to her church, too. The mom will talk your ear off about her kids, but doesn’t want to hear anything you have to say. The dad will sign up to be on the Grounds Crew, but he never actually shows up. The daughter is Emma and “Lacey’s” age and one of their least favorite people. She is very into fashion and has to comment (very rudely) on anything you wear that is not ‘in style.’ The younger son always gets into trouble and ends up blaming it on someone else. The mom will always defend him in this, even though he is claiming it’s Will’s fault and Will is one of the best behaved kids in church. Emma is sure by now that “Lacey” knows exactly who she is talking about….every church has a family like that.
(Emma knew the L’s daughter (whom I will refer to as LD) from about 2nd grade until we left the church when Emma was in 10th grade. The two girls NEVER got along, and Emma frequently complained about this young lady being mean to her, saying something she wore was “so last year” or telling her that she probably got her dress on clearance. When the two girls went to church camp one year, Emma complained that Mrs. L sent her daughter a box with things for all the girls in the cabin, but LD hoarded the items and wouldn’t share with the other girls.
I am a little curious as to know Emma would know that Mr. L never actually showed up as a member of the Grounds Crew. Mr. L was actually a member of the vestry and well as in charge of the Grounds, and people worked on the grounds at all hours, not when church was going on, so I don’t know how Emma would have any idea that this man never actually showed up.)
SEFF 2009
The next part of the letter Emma tells “Lacey” about being at SEFF the previous week. SEFF is the Southeast Electric Flight Festival held at Hodges Hobbies in Americus, Ga, the largest RC (remote control) airplane event in the word, and Emma just happens to be the Assistant Director, as well as the only girl on the staff of 50+ people, she says. She started going there three years ago, and her dad (who’d been on staff at SEFF) had asked Jeff Meyers, the director, to put her on staff too. Jeff somewhat reluctantly agreed. He was always pulling his hair out, so Emma was to be his helper and basically do what he told her. Emma says that in a event with thousands of people, the miscellaneous stuff is a job in itself. Believe her, she knows.
Emma says the first year she went to SEFF was known as Cinderella SEFF. Basically, even though she worked her tail off, she got lucky in a lot of areas. Two people gave her airplanes, just being nice. One was worth about $500, an Extra 360. Emma also won a lot of prizes in the raffle and won another plane in the prize drop.
Emma says her perception of people was really skewed the first year. She was still sort of afraid of the men referred to as the Hodge Hounds that worked for Hodges Hobbies story or help maintain the property. The degree of education, politeness/manners, and general redneck-ness varies greatly among the Hodge Hounds. Mel is a veteran, well educated and generally polite. “No-–hoes” Chris is very southern, thinks manners mean s washing our hands before digging in (he’s never heard of silverware), and thinks that it’s not good unless it has jalapeños on it (this concept is not limited to food, by the way). Emma goes on to say how she used to be scared by the Hodge Hounds, but came to realize how nice they were………….
Emma foes on to say another person she had a very skewed perception of was the director, Jeff Meyers. The first year, Emma thought he was great. He was nice to her and did a great job with the event. He did everything well, and was nice enough to not only pay all the volunteers’ expenses, but gave each of them $150 on top of that. Emma says she was blind to the other side of Jeff. It wasn’t until this year that she began to notice the little things. She goes on to say that Jeff is basically an alcoholic and by the end of the day he can barely form a coherent sentence. He is majorly addicted to chewing tobacco, and there are cans of it everywhere; in his file box, in the cooler, in the boxes of stuff they use for the event… She still thinks Jeff does a great job running the event, but she does not look up to him the way she used to.
Emma talks about how during the event, she does the miscellaneous stuff. She is in the background doing what needs to be done. She doesn’t want to be in the spotlight. But being one of the only teenage girls down there, she always ends up getting some attention that she’d be much happier without. Most of the guys on staff look at me like a daughter or granddaughter, and that’s fine. One of the guys, Mike Deboer (aka the Raffle Nazi, Curmudgeon, or Mean Mike) is even her honorary granddaddy. But some of the men, like thirties or forties actually try to flirt with Emma! Emma just thinks that’s creepy. She can half understand that with guys her age, but beyond that, it just makes her uncomfortable. But, she is staff and she has to deal with the spectators a lot, so she can’t afford to make enemies. It is really a bad situation. She tries to ignore them, but they don’t take the hint. That is when she needs her friend, Jordan. Jordan can handle that. Jordan likes attention and she can take it well. Emma can’t. She’d give anything to have Jordan down there with her.
Emma goes on to describe her duties at SEFF. She is in charge of dealing with and setting up vendors under a huge cover where they can sell their stuff. She is also in charge of scheduling the Noon Demos on Friday and Saturday, which is fun. All sorts of planes fly, and they have some of the best pilots in the world. She doesn’t mention everything because it is boring. She figures “Lacey” doesn’t want to hear about labeling tables and sweeping trailers and telling spectators, for the millionth time that they can NOT use channel 2 on the radio because it is reserved for staff communications. But she does work really hard, 8 hours pretty mjuch everyday even though she is scheduled for two to four. Emma says she got paid better this year. Instead of $150, she and Phill got $350 each. Emma goes on to say how her “rents” don’t pay her for anything, ever, so she is really careful about how she spends her money.
(Phill and I had tried giving Emma an allowance in exchange for a few chores every week, but it was such a battle to get Emma to do her chores, we gave up on this idea. We bought everything she needed or wanted, and gave her money if she was going somewhere, so she didn’t really need an allowance.)
Emma’s next paragraph says there were a couple of other girls on staff this year. Emma says she knows she told “Lacey” that she was the ONLY one, but what she meant was that she was the only one that counted. Jenny Klos and Emma Mason were also on staff. They were both seniors and the only job they had was driving the Courtesy Shuttle (aka golf cart). They didn’t even do that right, according to Emma. They loaded it up with teenagers and drove around until they ran out of gas. Also, they both dressed like the word that is a synonym for “tramp” and starts with a “S.” (Skank?) Emma says she is not going to actually say the word, but it is still true. Those jeans shorts that are about three inches long and very low tank tops or halters—that Emma considers to qualify as the “S” word.
Emma says she was sort of bent out of shape about the girls. She states that she would LOVE to be paid $50 a day to drive a golf cart, but noooooooooooo, she has to do REAL work. She doesn’t think Jenny or Emma have touched a broom in their lives. They certainly wouldn’t sit out in the burning hot sun for two hours to keep the demo pilots on schedule. But Emma did hear Jeff Meyers tell Dave Mason that Emma didn’t really earn $50 a day. He certainly never had that conversation with Phill, so she was happy about that! Emma says that Phill told her the only reason Jenny and Emma were on “staff” at all was because they had to make their dads happy; they can’t afford to lose them and once they saw Phill’s daughter on staff, they wanted their daughters on staff too. Except that they don’t deserve to be on staff and Emma does, in her humble opinion! But Emma thinks Jeff Meyers knew how she was feeling because he even said something to her about not really having a choice, so she understands, but she still resents it.
Emma’s next paragraph complains about a guy who was there making a video of the event, and he was going to put Emma in it, but he didn’t because she doesn’t dress the way Jenny Klos and Emma Mason do. And, you guessed it, they were in the video. Yet more time wasted, Emma adds and, “Oh well, it’s all par for the course….”
(Pretty interesting comments for a child who claims she doesn’t want to be in the spotlight.)
Emma’s next paragraph goes on to say she is happy because Jeff has agreed to put V. a 5th grader on staff the next year, who will be Emma’s assistant.
Emma changes topics and says how she can tell her youth group friends, Jordan and Evan anything because they don’t listen, and then she talks about not finding a postcard to send “Lacey” in Americus, and talks about “Lacey’s” neat handwriting, and how her own handwriting is too loopy and swirly, and she says that “Lacey” is very pretty in her pictures, and then she signs off “Blessings and Love, Emma Kate.”
Losing Emma 