Tag Archives: Emma Katherine Roey

Another Emma Believe It Or Not

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birdbandingcatbird

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Buchheim, Katie Smith, Emma Kate Roey, Sophie Buchheim

 

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Recently, I was traveling, and while driving along the coast and seeing the signs to Savannah, something popped into my head.  I  believe Emma was in 6th grade when the church youth group went on a try to Jekyll Island, Ga. to learn a little about bird banding. There was a couple at our church, Mr. and Mrs. P. who spent every fall banding birds and recording information. They’d been doing this for years. Emma seemed to enjoy the trip despite her complaining about the other kids. There was the one young lady that Emma never got along with, and Emma talked about how she latched on to one of the boys and spent the whole trip with him. (Perhaps a little jealousy there.)

 

This was also the trip where Emma complained about the new youth leader letting the girls watch the program “Sex and the City” and claimed that she picked up her sleeping bag and moved it to the kitchen. She claimed she told the group that she didn’t think her parents would want her watching that program. Whether or not that’s true, who knows? I think I can easily picture Emma making that story up to make herself sound a little high and mighty.
In 2007, Mrs. P. invited Emma and I to go to Jekyll while they were bird banding, since she knew we homeschooled and had a somewhat flexible schedule. We took her up on her offer and drove down there that September for a few days. Jekyll was beautiful, and learning about the bird banding was very interesting. We weren’t allowed to remove the birds from the nets, but we could hold the birds once they were handed to us. I was thrilled when I was able to recognize the subtle differences in some of the birds because when we first started, they all looked alike! In addition to Emma and myself, there was Mr. and Mrs. P, their grown son, and a friend of theirs who came down just before we left. Over dinner conversation, it was very clear that the politics of the group was liberal leaning, and Emma, being very opinionated, even as an 8th grader, did not like the conversations. As a mostly conservative myself, I agreed with somethings that were said and didn’t agree with some things, but it doesn’t upset me if my opinions differ from those around me. Emma, on the other hand, had no use for people whose perspectives were different from her own.
All in all, bird banding was a great educational experience.
A year or so later, when Emma was doing school on line, some of the ladies at church started a sewing group, and I thought Emma might enjoy that. Often, if I could let Emma do something without me, I would, to try to give her a little space without mommy always being around, so I took her to the group, but didn’t stay.
When I picked Emma up, she seemed to have enjoyed the group, but then started complaining about Mrs. P. and how she put down homeschooling, going on about homeschoolers being unsocialized, etc. Emma claimed that when Mrs. P. made some derogatory comment about homeschooling, Emma piped up and said, “Well, I’ve never known a pregnant homeschooler.”
Then Emma said, that another woman from our church, the mother of Savannah, one of the girls in the youth group, said something like, “Good one, Emma.”
I remember telling Phill about the incident, and it never occurred to us that it might not be true. We were kind of proud of Emma for speaking up, but sometime later, something bothered me about this story.Mrs. P. was a classy, polite, articulate, considerate, educated, kind lady. She’d known Emma for years, and knew Emma was homeschooled. I just cannot believe that she would have been putting down homeschooling in front of Emma, knowing that Emma was homeschooled, even if she did have feelings thoughts about it. She just wasn’t that type of person.
Have I called up Mrs. P. to ask her if this story even happened? No. I just classify this story under another Believe it or Not, and I’m not buying it.
So many times, I saw Emma be very judgmental against someone whose politics were different than Emma’s. That’s all it took for her to decide she didn’t like someone. I certainly hope she outgrows this behavior and can learn that people who think differently than you do can still have a lot to offer.
After we told my sister about Emma’s accusation of “molestation,” she later told me that Emma immediately told her that the priest she accused “molesting” her was a democrat. Doesn’t it seem a little odd that you claim to have been sexually abused by a priest, and one of the first things you tell someone about the situation is that he was a democrat?
I know this story is mall in comparison to some of the other things Emma’s done, but I think some of these small stories give you better insight into Emma’s personality, so I want to share them.
And Emma, I will give you credit for one thing though. You were right about your dad. I always joked about your dad being super smart but I wondered about his common sense sometimes. I guess in some ways, he is as dumb as you always said he was. Later on, I will tell you about your dad’s family and his relationships with them, and you can sort of understand why he is the way he is. (I would prefer not to write about this on the blog, but since we can’t talk in person I guess I will have to. And besides, nothing your dad or his family has in their history can be as bad as being a child abuser and attempted murderer, right? BTW, have you recovered from the residual effects of the DDT?  I hope you are happy and healthy.)

Thank you to my readers! Please feel free to write me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Meeting the ex- with his new, ummm, Girlfriend?

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Those of you that know me or have be following the blog, know this blog is mainly about Emma, but it’s also about me, as the estranged parent, navigating the waters through this whole ordeal of losing my child and my marriage.  I can be a little sarcastic, or maybe tongue-in-cheek, which some find endearing, and others may find annoying.  It is what it is and that’s just me.  Enjoy!

 

Ft. Yargo

I guess there’s always going to be that time you see your ex-spouse for the first time since your divorce. For me, running into Phill was definitely a surprise. Was it some sort of cosmic joke, or did God put Phill in my path again for a reason? Or maybe put me in Phill’s path for a reason? I have yet to figure that one out!
I’d done my usual thing when I have a Saturday off from work and went to help with Pet adoptions. Because I’d had a long week at work and wasn’t home much, I took my little dog to adoptions as well as the three puppies I was transporting. Afterwards, I returned the puppies to their temporary home, and it was such a beautiful day, I wasn’t ready to go home. I almost took a walk where I dropped the puppies off, a familiar route to me, but I decided to go to Ft. Yargo instead. Those of you that know me know that I’m not going to go anywhere secluded, but it was such a nice day that thought there would enough people around that I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.
It was late afternoon. The sun was starting to go down, it was cooling off, and I didn’t have my jacket, so I wasn’t going to stay too long. I walked along the lake, and through the woods, and I picked out a spot where I would turn around. When I got to that spot, there was a couple coming towards me, and I heard my husband’s voice going on, talking about campers or RVs and he was saying something about how he wasn’t sure if he wanted a 5th wheel or something else………………. (As you can see, the divorce sure hasn’t financially hurt Phill any. He already bought one camper, and now he’s talking about another.)
You can imagine, I was shocked to see Phill and the woman he was walking with. I don’t know what I would have said if I’d had time to prepare, hopefully something humourus, witty or even a little caustic, but like I said, I was taken by surprise.
Phill and the woman walked even closer and he glanced at me and said hello. He looked down at my little dog and asked, “Friendly Chihuaha or unfriendly Chihuahua?”
To which I replied, “You don’t recognize your own dog?”
I wish I could have taken a picture of Phill’s face when he realized it was ME, the evil ex-wife! And I thought I was in shock! Phill was even worse! Of course afterwards, I wished I hadn’t said anything and just waited to see how long it took him to recognize me.
Phill reached down to pet his former dog, who paid no attention to him and didn’t even recognize him as being someone he knew.
I then asked “So, is this your girlfriend?”
Phill said, “Yes, this is Kim.” (Kimberly Garrett Chassion, a code enforcement supervisor and mother to Sydney Chassion) and then he turned to Kim and said, “My ex-.”  (Apparently, I don’t have a name.)
Kim said hi and immediately corrected Phill, looking at me and saying, “We’re friends.”
I reminded Phill that the alimony was late again, and he claimed to have sent it. (I guess technically it’s alimony, but the amount Phill has to pay me came out to about ½ the depressed value of our home in the down economy. Not a bad deal to get rid of your wife and keep the house and all the furnishings!)

I didn’t really have anything to say. Phill continues to be in denial about all the things his daughter did, so I wasn’t going to get into a conversation with him. I just saw him as kind of pathetic. I didn’t even ask about Emma because Phill isn’t going to tell me anything, although I guess I should have asked about her health. Has she recovered from all the DDT I poisoned her with? Has she quit throwing up? What about the catatonia? What kind of mother am I that I didn’t show concern for all Emma’s made-up, over-dramatized health problems?
Phill said, “Well……….” and turned around and started walking away. Kim Chassion followed him. Since I was headed the same way, I let them get ahead of me before I started walking, although I stopped to take a picture of the happy couple.
The police didn’t show up at my house with a warrant or anything, so I guess I did good. After all, if I have a history of abusing my teenage daughter and then “blocking it out,” I can only imagine what I could have done to the “other woman” and then “blocked it out”! Maybe the reason Kim claimed to be “friends” with Phill and not his “girlfriend” was because she was in fear for her life! Whew! So glad Kim Chassion wasn’t harmed in our introduction.
And what about chivalry? Is it truly dead? Why didn’t Phill jump in front of the lovely Kim Chassion to protect her from the violent ex-with-no-name? After all, I was dangerous enough that he wanted to get a restraining order against his own wife? How could he leave Kim unprotected?
I do have to wonder what Kim Chassion thought of me. Did I appear as evil as Phill described? What does Kim think of Phill now that she’s met me and about all the things he did, having me thrown out of my home, taking my home, my daughter, my belongings? Perhaps Kim was in fear for her life, so that is why she so quickly downgraded her status from “girlfriend” to “friend.”
Friends and I joked about the things I could have said, like, “So, is this your NEW soulmate?” or “Is this the woman you were dating while we were married?”
That evening, a friend pointed out that I was wearing a sweatshirt with the big logo on the front of the rescue group where I volunteer. Phill had seen Emma and me wear these shirts every Saturday for about 7 or 8 years, so not only did he not notice his wife, he didn’t notice the shirt she was wearing was one he should have recognized, having seen the big logo so many times before. Phill must be pretty oblivious not to recognize his wife of 26 years or his dog.
Seriously though, Ft. Yargo was a place of many happy memories for our family. We took hikes there, cooked out, went canoeing, took the church youth group there……

Kim sounds like a lovely young lady, and appears to be a member of Celebrate Recovery at Hebron Baptist Church.  I wonder if she’s met Emma and what she thinks of her.   I wonder what she thinks of Phill supporting all of Emma’s lies about her friend being raped and attempting suicide, Emma’s claims of being poisoned with DDT by her mother………
And Kim Chassion, good luck honey,  and Welcome to the family! I guess we will be wives-in-law. You can read the blog for our history, and if you have any questions, I’ll be happy to answer them.

 

PhillandKim

Happy Birthday, Emma!

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Emma, I hope you had a wonderful 22nd birthday! Your first birthday as a married lady! Emma turned 22 on Dec. 19th.

And to my readers, I’m sorry to be so slow in finishing up my story about how Phill and Emma tried to get me to violate the Temporary Protective order. It’s coming! Like a lot of us, Nov. and Dec. are busy, busy! I am ready for things to slow down!

The other day, I had a facebook message that said I posted this picture 5 years ago:
20130430_23

I took this Photo when I was doing pet photos with Santa for the dog/cat rescue group we volunteered with. Emma always liked to assist me, helping people and pets get situated or making noises to get the pet to look at the camera, things like that. It was a challenging job as the pets weren’t always cooperative, but we had a lot of fun doing it and talking to people about their pets.

I loved this picture. Emma had that beautiful smile after all the torturing we did to her with braces. This picture was just a couple of short weeks before Emma had Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment and Counseling, 965 Oakland Rd, Bldg 3, Suites D&E,Lawrenceville, Ga 30044 Tel: 770-495-9775 Fax: 770-495-9745 GA.) call the police to say Emma was being physically abused by her mother. We had such a great time on this day. I certainly didn’t see any signs of abuse in the way Emma was acting. You’d think if her mother was abusing her, she wouldn’t want to go hang out with her mother at adoptions every Saturday. Funny.

As for Dr. Genie, Manna Treatment moved their practice from Duluth to Lawrenceville, opened and closed another location in Marietta, and hopefully is sticking to her forte of eating disorders. I’ve often wondered what therapists do when they mess up, especially a good Christian counselor like Dr. Genie. Apparently nothing. They certainly don’t want to admit they were taken in and fooled by a lying 16 year old. Doesn’t make them look very professional, does it?

Anyway, Emma, let me wish you a Merry Christmas, as I’m probably not going to have much time this week. I wanted to text you on your birthday and wish you a happy birthday, but I know you’d threaten me with a restraining order, so I certainly won’t do that and I’ll just keep writing here.

Thank you to my readers for you love and support.

Emma and her Dad try to get a Restraining Order

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.</em

Emma frequently came in and laid on our bed to hand out and chat with me before I became that evil mommy! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma frequently came in and laid on our bed to hand out and chat with me before I became that evil mommy! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

You can read in my earlier posts (July 12, 2014 through August 17, 2014) about the Temporary Protective Order that Phill took out on me. I’m sure this was under the advice of his attorney, Seth Eisenberg (Bovis, Kyle, and Burch LLC).

Phill had been getting legal advice about Emma’s so-called molestation from one of his RC buddies, Mike. I believe it was Mike Howell, but there were a lot of Mikes, so I’m not really sure. It could have been Mike Downey. Hmm, I will look into it and see if I can clarify which Mike, but Mike was a former attorney himself. I’m just assuming Phill got his attorney, Seth Eisenberg, from some kind of recommendation from one of the Mikes.

My own attorney later told me that Seith Eisenberg told him, when they spoke privately, that Phill brought Emma with him to almost every appointment. He also said Emma asked every time she came about getting a restraining order against her mom. Seth told my attorney that he thought Emma was crazy and he would handle Phill’s divorce, but he wanted nothing to do with “that kid.”

It’s too bad attorney’s don’t get involved personally and maybe Seth could have told Phill that he thought there was something wrong with Emma and that maybe he needed to look into things a little further before he threw away his wife, but hey, I understand divorce attorneys aren’t counselors. They are there to make a buck off of someone else’s troubles. I did learn from MY personal experience that attorneys don’t think much of therapists and therapists don’t think much of attorneys, and neither of them have much nice to say about DFACS. Some of that was amusing anyway………..

In getting the TPO, two sheriff’s deputies showed up at my door (while Phill conveniently was out) and allowed me to pack a suitcase and leave my home. The sheriff’s deputies warned me about coming anywhere near my home or Phill or Emma, and not being stupid, I had no intention of doing such. Actually, the TPO was regarding Emma, but I wasn’t going to take any chances and was not going to get near Phill either. I was so shocked, stunned, distraught, and overwhelmed by the whole thing. Here I was, my husband of almost 27 years and my best friend had decided I was a child abuser and threw me out of my home. I loved Phill with all my heart and thought we could get through any difficulty together because we were a team. I just didn’t know I’d been fired, kicked off the team, or traded, or however you want to look at it. Phill sure had the element of surprise on his side. I knew Emma was lying, but I never expected my husband fall apart like he did and let her take over. I still thought we were a team and somehow, we would get through this. Now, I understand more about teens with control issues and how this was all partly a big power struggle, and how Emma won, but then again, she got a lot of help from her dad.

To be continued……….

FR

Emma Prays her Parents don’t Divorce

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma Katherine Roey

I had to laugh today. I was about to sit down and write about the Temporary Protective Order, and how Phill tried to get me to violate it, so that he could probably try for a Restraining Order that Emma had been so desperately wanting. If you remember, Phill had two sheriff’s deputies show up to surprise and remove me from my home with only a suitcase (BTW, he still has all my things, but we’ll get to that later.), so I was looking for the e-mail a friend wrote about how Phill tried to get me to violate the terms of the protective order, when I came across Emma’s e-mail to an on-line friend, Amber Lynn Smith, now Amber Lynn Hicks, a 3rd grade teacher. I think Emma met Amber through an on-line class, and since Amber was attending Piedmont College, Emma was interested in Piedmont College in Demerost, Ga. At the time of this e-mail, Emma had not met Amber in person.

Here is the e-mail (paraphrased) that Emma sent to Amber Lynn Hicks:

Emma tells Amber she doesn’t have time to type it all out right now because of big family problems. She is praying really hard that her parents don’t divorce, but there’s a lot more than that. Her mom has serious mental issures which led to some REALLY BAD physical abuse towards Emma and DFACS was involved….yeah it stinks.

Ok, Emma goes on, she had Ms. Schwartz (English teacher) last semester and she didn’t like Emma at first, but Emma thinks she proved herself.

Mr. Freeman (Sanford L. Freeman, history teacher at Jefferson High School, Jefferson, Ga.) is definitely a kook. Emma says she thinks he enjoys his image. He gets so gleeful when he gets someone into mandatory tutoring. Emma says she is not in that category, thank God! Mr. Freeman’s quizzes are hard, but she gets good essay grades, so it evens out.

Emma says she hasn’t had time to visit Piedmont college yet, hopefully over Spring Break, if things go ok, but if her parents divorce, she will have to live at home because she can’t leave her dad alone. She could commute though, with the right financial aid……

Emma asks Amber Lynn Hicks to do her a favor and when she responds, not to reply, but to start a new message so her mom can’t see what she said. She doesn’t want to change her password because then her mom will know something is up……..yeah, life is complicated.

I remember finding this e-mail and being very upset. Emma was spreading her lies to someone she’d never even met, but now I understand a little more about liars and how they operate, not much mind you because it’s is still very hard for me to understand. My mind just doesn’t work that way, and I don’t have that Ph.d. like some of Emma’s therapists.

When I came across this e-mail today, after not seeing it for at least a year, and being a much stronger person than when I originally found it, I had to laugh at some of the things Emma said, like how she was praying “really hard” that her parent’s didn’t divorce. A divorce was exactly what Emma wanted. There cannot be two queens, and Emma wanted to be the queen of the castle. There was no way she could do that if her mother was still around. Phill was on the road a lot with his job with UPS. Emma’s mom was the evil control freak that was frequently in her way!

Emma said she wouldn’t be able to go away to Piedmont College and leave her dad alone, but that was exactly what she did until she was able to con Tyler Buchhein’s family (her boyfriend she met online but managed to turn into a “real” relationship) into taking her in and letting her move in with them in Ohio.

As for her mom’s serious mental issues, remember, Emma and Dr. Genie Burnett had diagnosed me with “Paranoid Borderline Personality Disorder” or some such without my even knowing it! Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.) went through a checklist with Emma, a 17 year old with a long history of lying, asking her questions about me, and diagnosed me! How much more professional can a psychologist be? Dr. Genie must be one really talented psychologist because she diagnosed me through the eyes of my daughter and without actually doing any kind of psychological evaluation on me! AND she is a Christian counselor! The fact that she was a Christian was so important to both Emma and her “mommy” Sandra Brooks McCravy (Sandy McCravy).

I hadn’t seen this e-mail in quite a while, and it is funny how your perspective changes. I remember how hurt I was when I first saw it, and now it’s just laughable (in a sad sort of way). There are so many people who know about Emma’s lies that I don’t really hide that fact that I’m a “child abuse” anymore. I even joked about changing the name of this site to “Diary of a Child Abuser.”

As many of you know, I have volunteered with a dog/cat rescue for over 11 years now. A couple of years ago, we were at adoptions, when a small dog wanted to jump in my lap and hit his head on a table that was in the way. I cooed and comforted him, and a friend joked and called me a “puppy abuser” and then immediately apologized, knowing what I’d been through with Emma, and afraid she’d brought up a sore subject. She felt horrible, but I laughed and told her that I if she thought that would upset me after all I’d been through, she needed to realize I had a much thicker skin now, thanks to Emma. Calling me a “puppy abuser” did not bother me in the least, and I knew it was a joke. Believe it or not, I still have a pretty good sense of humor.

Another thing I wanted to mention was Emma’s English teacher, Mrs. Schwartz. I will get to her story later. Emma told quite a few tales about Mrs. Schwartz because she did not like her English class. Fortunately, I also have those documented. Because of all Emma’s complaints, Emma’s school counselor, Heather Thompson (Jefferson High School) arranged for a meeting between Phill, Emma, and I with Mrs. Schwartz. Poor Mrs. Schwartz was blindsided by this meeting and Emma’s accusations.

Ok, I got a little off topic. I will work on the story of Phill and Emma trying to get me to violate the protective order next. Either they wanted to get me thrown in jail, or to get a restraining order against me. Only Phill and Emma can answer that one, but I will tell you what happened. Fortunately, I didn’t fall for it, and I had some good friends looking out for me.

As a mother, I can tell you this is an odd place to be.  I love Emma with every ounce of my being and would give my last breath to protect her.  Like any mother, she was my life, and I love her with all my heart, but I HATE what she’s done, not just to me, but to many others.

Just Some Thoughts–Lying and Other Things***** (Updated 11/1/15)

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

One of my favorite photos of Emma on a ride home from N. Ga. She woke up like a sleepy little drunk.

One of my favorite photos of Emma on a ride home from N. Ga. She woke up like a sleepy little drunk.

I love the above picture of Emma. Every mother remembers their little ones waking up like a sleepy little drunk. We’d been up to visit a friend in N. Georgia, and Emma crashed in the car on the way home after a busy day. She was so cute when she woke up. You can see she’d had some chocolate at our friend’s house, as some of it was still on her face.

I appreciate your thoughts and e-mails. I have to say to the person who sent me the youtube idea, it’s definitely something that hadn’t occurred to me. I had to laugh when I got the e-mail, but you had some good points and I will give it some thought. I have just been very busy this past month, and haven’t had time to sit down and write, but thank you for your concern. I am by no means finished.

And a note to Emma: Yes, you and your dad were my life, but believe it or not, I’ve managed to go on with my life without you. I still love and miss you, and will continue to think of you and pray for you everyday. Sometimes, I do something fun, and wish you were here to share the experience or I could call you and tell you about it. Sometimes I read a book and think you would like it, or a movie, etc., etc., etc. Sometimes I think, “Wow, Emma would probably like me now.” if you can ever forgive me for the sin of just being your mother. Sorry I wasn’t the one you wanted.

As for Mr. and Mrs. Emma, I will get to that later. As you know, marriage records are public, but I am still looking into some things, so not ready to write about that just yet. I have a lot of Emma’s back story to get to.

Something that I’ve been wondering about lately is lying and children. Are there some signs that Phill and I missed when Emma was little? Every child lies, so I never thought any of Emma’s stories, even the doozies were abnormal.

One story that’s been on my mind is a story about a girl named Coral whom Emma knew from church. The girls were about 3 years apart and I believe when met Coral and her family when she was in kindergarten and Emma must have been in 3rd grade or so. Later on, when Coral was in middle school, Emma liked Coral, and called her her “little sister,” but it did not start out that way. Coral liked Emma right away and wanted to sit with us at church, follow Emma around, etc. Emma did not like Coral, and since they weren’t in the same Sunday school class or the same activities, she didn’t have to see her much, and since she wasn’t exactly nice to Coral, Coral made other friends and was just fine.

Emma was in the Children’s Choir at church, and once Coral hit 2nd grade, she joined the choir, too. Emma complained frequently about Coral, and I did the usual, “Just be nice……” kind of mom-speak. One day, after choir, Emma told story after story about Coral. I can’t even remember most of them now, but I wonder what Emma was trying to do, keep trying out stories until I fell for one? Kind of like politicians who keep spreading stories about their opponents/enemies until people hear it so much, they just go along with it. Emma’s stories about Coral were so silly and unbelievable, I immediately told her that what she said sounded crazy and I was sure it wasn’t true, and I didn’t give it much thought afterwards. The one story I do remember was that Emma was all indignant and claimed that Mr. Richard, the choir director, paid Coral $20 for behaving during choir, and that wasn’t fair! I may be the dumb mom, but I was pretty sure this wasn’t true. I argued with Emma, and she kept telling me that it was true. I said there was no way Mr. Richard would pay someone to behave during choir. I was sure if there was that much of a problem, he would talk to the parents and/or ask the child to leave the choir. The only thing I could think of, I suggested to Emma, “Maybe he bought some girl scout cookies or something and owed Coral some money for that.” and then I let the argument drop and didn’t discuss it anymore. Emma kept going on about it on the ride home, and I just told her I didn’t believe that. It was such a silly story, I certainly wasn’t going to ask Mr. Richard or Coral’s mother about it, but maybe I should have and perhaps that would have stopped Emma in her tracks. I just let it go.

Emma did something similar involving her friend Rob. Phill had taken Emma to her youth group who was meeting at the church parking lot. He got out of the call for a few minutes, and Emma went off from the group and called me, saying that her dad was acting ridiculous, doing all this silly stuff, trying to fist bump Rob, making a fool out of himself trying to be part of the group and embarrassing her. Huh? This did not sound like Phill at all, and when he got home, I asked him about it? He pretty much said, “What are you talking about? I said ‘hi’ to Rob and shook hands with him and that’s all!” Why did Emma have the need to make up a story about her dad trying to fit in with her friends.

Frequently, when Emma had a friend over, she would tell them, “I was an evil little kid…” and then tell some story about something she thought about as a child. I always thought this was silly, like Emma was trying to make her life sound much more dramatic than it was, but I figured she’s a kid, and if she wants to say that, fine. I wasn’t going to interrupt and say, “No you weren’t!” Now, if Emma wants to say she was an evil teenager, I might not argue with her there.

Much more to come……………

Chainsaws and Fireflies

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma is now a married lady at the age of 21. I guess the freedom and independence she wanted so badly wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Most parents would wish their children didn’t get married at such a young age, but sometimes it works out. Emma still has some growing up to do, emotionally, and I would like to believe we will one day reconcile, but knowing Emma for 17 years, I don’t think so. Too many times, I saw Emma decide she didn’t like something or someone, and if you’ve heard the expression, “You are dead to me.” That pretty much describes Emma.
Like the knitting group in the previous post, when Emma decided she was done, that was it. In the knitting group, Emma sat in the corner, by herself, and refused to talk to anyone. I never figured out why she didn’t like the group anymore. When it was just Jan and her daughter, it was fine, but when a few more people showed up, that was it. I saw this same kind of behavior over and over again with people Emma didn’t like, whether it was someone from school, church, or wherever. If we ran into someone on Emma’s list, and I stopped to say hello, Emma was beyond rude in her silence, or would walk away when someone said hello to her, as if she were looking at something, pretending not to hear. Afterwards, I would scold her for being so rude, and told her that I didn’t care if she didn’t like someone, but she still needed to be polite. I wasn’t forcing her to have a conversation, but she could at least say hello.

This behavior never changed. Once you were on Emma’s list, you were dead to her, as I am sure I am to Emma now. I can still have hope that Emma will grow up and accept responsibility for what she did and quit blaming others, especially her parents for anything that didn’t go the way she wanted in her life, but if that even happens, it won’t be until she’s about thirty and she starts to realize her parents did the best they could and made mistakes just like every other parent out there. I can’t honestly say I have much hope though. Kids make mistakes, but as I’ve mentioned before, I think the things Emma’s done go far beyond “mistakes.”

In telling Emma’s story, I want to also tell some of the funny stories about Emma. For much of her childhood, her dad was working, so often, I was the only one to witness some of the funny things she said or did.


Chainsaws

Emma's drawing of her dad with a chainsaw after a few beers. Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey.

Emma’s drawing of her dad with a chainsaw after a few beers. Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey.

Emma did the above picture in 2004, when she was 10. Phill’s friend, Keith, a mechanic at UPS whom Phill did computer work for, was an expert at cutting down trees. He had the spiked shoes and would secure a tree with rope before climbing up and cutting the top of it off until it got to a manageable level to cut down completely. If you’ve never seen a large tree cut down, it is very interesting to watch.
Phill asked Keith to come over one Saturday to cut down some trees, and decided to ask a couple of friends from church to come over and help and we would have pizza and beer.

In Emma’s 10 year old brain, the thought of chainsaws and beer was not a good mix! (And you were exactly right Emma. I hope you will remember that about drinking and driving!) The afternoon when Phill was talking to me about it, Emma went off to her room to draw and came back to show me this picture of her dad, drunk, with a chainsaw. I thought it was pretty funny, and of course had to show it to Phill. I even scanned it in the computer, so I could show it to my sister. If anyone is concerned, the adults drank responsibly, and I think the only accident was when our friend, Patti, from church, cut a smaller tree down and it came down on the fence. I certainly can’t say anything about that, because I was out working in the yard alone one day, and cut down a tree that landed perfectly on the boombox I had out with me. It was crushed into a hundred pieces. I couldn’t have done that if I tried!

Emma and the Fireflies

One summer night, when Emma was about 9 or 10, she had gone to bed. Our home in Hoschton had split bedrooms with the living room between. Emma’s bedroom had two long windows and then a wide, short rectangular window above those. The long windows were covered with plantation shutters and we’d put a valance over the rectangular window, so it wasn’t light-tight.

Phill and I were in the living room, when Emma let out a blood curdling scream! We both stood up, ready to run to the aid of our child, when she came running out of her room, straight to me and threw her arms around me. I could feel her heart pounding furiously through her PJs. Emma screamed, “Someone was shining a light into my window!!!!”

Phill and looked at each other, not quite believing what we were hearing. Phill went in Emma’s room to look out the window, and I was starting to figure it out. All I could think of was, “Fireflies.”

Sure enough, lying in bed, looking up at her window, beneath the valance, Emma had seen the little blinking lights of the fireflies at her window.
We laughed about this story for years, and Emma even wrote an essay on it for an assignment at Master’s Academy (the homeschool arts program she attended).

Emma in her pjs, holding a little snake I found In the yard. Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey Emma Buchheim

Emma in her pjs, holding a little snake I found In the yard. Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey Emma Buchheim

The Knitting Group

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

I have a lot of anecdotes about Emma that I want to share. Some of them may give the professionals out there some insight into what was going on with Emma.

Emma's first try at knitting. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Buchheim

Emma’s first try at knitting. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Buchheim

 

The Knitting Group

When we were homeschooling, in 8th grade, Emma did not want to go to the Arts Program she’d involved with since 4th grade, and so I was on the lookout for activities for my “unsocialized homeschooler.” (That term is a little joke in the homeschooling community.) I read in our local paper, The Jackson Herald, that a knitting group was forming at the Braselton Library, just a few minutes away from our home in Hoschton, Ga. I asked Emma if she would like to go, and she agreed.

The knitting group was started by a very nice woman named Jan, and she and her daughter Megan were both fabulous knitters. Meagan was about two years older than Emma. Since I am not a knitter, I took along some beadwork to work on, and the first few sessions, it was just the four of us. We worked on our projects and chatted. In addition to knitting, Jan was also a spinner, so we learned about spinning, felting, and all kinds of things about knitting. Even though I am not a knitter, it was interesting to me as well. Emma seemed to really took to knitting and when she wanted to try making a pair of socks, we got her some fancy colorful yarn and special needles. She made a beautiful sock, but wasn’t happy with it, so she took it apart and never tried making another one. I was impressed at how she learned to turn the heel and everything. Later on, Emma took to sewing. I think knitting might have been a little to labor intensive for her.

When it was just Jan and Meagan, Emma was very talkative, and everything was great. She seemed to enjoy the group, and acted like a mature young lady. Later on, a few more girls began to come to the group and Emma made a complete change. Two of the girls that started coming, Braden and Bronte, were sisters that we’d met in a homeschool choir that Emma was in and we’d even done some homeschool field trips with them. They were very nice young ladies, from a good Christian family, just the type of girls Emma would want to be around. Their mother also came and sat with us. Another young lady that came was from our neighborhood. Her parents had had some trouble with her and had pulled her out of public school. She was fairly quiet when we were there.

Once other people started coming to the group, Emma sat alone, away from everyone else and did not speak to anyone. She just sat there and knitted. I asked her what was wrong that she wouldn’t talk to anyone anymore, and she didn’t have an answer for me. It was more than being quiet, it actually seemed like she was being rude. Of course, the other girls didn’t care. They sat together and chatted. It was a small room, so Emma could have participated in the conversations, even from where she was sitting, but she kept her head down, looking at her knitting, and didn’t even try to talk to the other girls. Emma was never shy and had no reservations about speaking in public, so that couldn’t have been it. She just sat there, seeming kind of angry and withdrawn. I never understood it.

Later on, when we decided to put Emma in public school for 9th grade, we stopped going to the group. We ran into Jan and Meagan at the grocery once or twice. They were lovely people.

One of the things that Dr. Richard Born (Applied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga. appliedpsychologicalhealth.com ) got right about Emma’s Psychological Evaluation was when he said she was uncomfortable with her peers. I don’t remember how he said it, but you can go back and read the Psych Eval earlier in the blog. Was this why Emma sat in the corner, practically sulking? Emma loved going to our ladies’ Bible study group. She was usually the only teenager there, and everyone fawned over her, paid attention to her, and was impressed with how well she spoke and how smart she was? She loved all the attention, but in a group of kids her own age, she was just another kid. Was part of the problem that she was not the star of the show? She didn’t get enough attention? I don’t know.

So many parents talk about kids who aren’t comfortable around adults and would rather just hang out with kids. When they meet an adult they don’t know what to day, are bored easily, and just want to go hang out with their friends. I think in our case, with homeschooling and Emma’s other activities, maybe she was the opposite. She was comfortable around adults because they wall thought she was wonderful, but she wasn’t comfortable with her peers.

I do want to write my thoughts on homeschooling, but that will be for another post. Yes, I still think it is wonderful, and I have known so many wonderful homeschooled kids. Emma is not one of them. Would public school have made any difference? I don’t know. It might have just made her a better liar.

P.S. Congratulations, Mrs. Emma. I hope the wedding was everything you wanted it to be. I’m sorry you took your top secret wedding site down, but like I always told you, if you’re hiding what you’re doing from your mother, it is probably because you know what you are doing is wrong.

-Emma’s Wedding Sept. 19, 2015

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

I recently got some interesting (snail) mail from Petuluma, CA. I wonder what Emma thinks of CA?

Several people have asked me to post the link to Emma’s wedding site. I really liked the comment asking me which Emma was getting married. Was it Emma Roey? Katherine Smith? Sophie Buchheim? Emma-Kate? Katie Smith?

It is a wedding registry site called The Knot, and here is the link to one of Emma’s weddings:

http://registry.theknot.com/emma-roey-jackson-miller-september-2015/10942079

Emma had another site on The Knot which looks like it has been deleted. In that one, the wedding was taking place in Port Girardeau, MO.

Let me give a little free publicity to Emma’s photographer on the site, Amanda Donoho. http://www.amandadonoho.com She does some beautiful work!

Emma, congratulations. I hope everything goes well and your special day is everything you want it to be.  I’m still going to hold you accountable for what you did, and I’m still going to keep writing.  You know I think you are too young and not ready for marriage, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you do have a wonderful life and and wonderful marriage.  I may not think the marriage will survive, but that doesn’t mean I want to see it fail.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

More to come…….

Emma’s Stressors and Mental Illness

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Because Emma loved her guinea pig (whom we had for almost 6 years--a pretty long life for a guinea pig), one Christmas I paid a friend to make Emma a guinea pig bean bag chair. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Because Emma loved her guinea pig (whom we had for almost 6 years–a pretty long life for a guinea pig), one Christmas I paid a friend to make Emma a guinea pig bean bag chair. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Aug. 30, 2015

I have to admit that I had a little fun with that last post. I got a little silly with the Face In Hole site. It was kind of amusing, and as I said earlier, I could picture Emma and I having fun with it were things different. I remember us playing with photoshop one time, and Emma making crazy, alien-looking pictures with head shot of one of our neighbors. In all seriousness, I will get back to Emma’s story.

When I was going through the sheer hell of my daughter accusing me of abusing her (but before Emma accused me of poisoning her), the wife of a friend said something about how Emma was the perfect age for mental illness to show up. This lady is a health care professional, and I didn’t understand what she meant. She explained it to me, and I did some reading about it. Some studies say that one in five adolescents has a diagnosable mental health disorder. Wow. I didn’t know the numbers were that high! Often, what brings about the diagnosis is the stress of graduating high school, leaving home, and starting college. Leaving all that is familiar, an old school, old friends, etc. and going to a new place, whether it be college, a job, the military… All the changes and stressors can exacerbate the already present mental illness.
I know the terms psychopath and sociopath have really been replaced with the diagnosis “Antisocial Personality Disorder,” but people my age still tend to think more in the terms of psycho/sociopath. While Emma was growing up, it always bothered Phill and me that Emma didn’t seem to understand cause and effect, and she didn’t care about consequences. We often talked about how when we were kids if our parents offered a treat like having a friend spend the night, or going out to do something fun, we were Johnny on the Spot at getting our chores done so that we could get the reward. That was something we never saw in Emma. If she didn’t want to clean her room, telling her we’d take her bowling when she was done would make no difference. Nothing motivated Emma except for Emma. She did what she wanted and consequences be damned. If she got in trouble or caught red handed, she never showed remorse or guilt, just anger. Phill and I didn’t understand how to motivate her. Punishments for bad behavior didn’t work. If Emma got in trouble it was because we hated her or we were mean, but not because she’d broken a rule or misbehaved. Rewards for a job well done didn’t work. Now, I’m able to see there was a problem, but neither Phill nor I had enough experience with parenting or mental illness to realize that at the time that there was something wrong.
I can only imagine the stress that brought on Emma’s psychotic break, if that’s the right word for it. After claiming her on line friend, “Lacey” was raped and had attempted suicide, Emma made up a story about a priest sexually molesting her. She claimed this man stuck his fingers into her vagina multiple times. (Sorry for the graphic content there, but I think I need to say it bluntly to emphasize the seriousness of Emma’s allegations.) Emma was interviewed over and over again and therefore rehearsed her scene multiple times with numerous officials and members of two churches, attorneys, various therapists, counselors, a psychologist , a psychiatrist, DFACS, the police and sheriff’s departments in two counties. (Jackson and Gwinnett Counties, Ga.) Emma had been through a brutal interrogation by an attorney who was investigating Emma’s story for the church. And lastly, Emma had a large Atlanta law firm about to file suit. There would be a trial. The attorneys would need to interview “Lacey” to verify that she had been raped and attempted suicide so that the story of Emma’s “repressed memories” was feasible. Emma was about to be FOUND OUT, BUSTED, CAUGHT, EXPOSED! The truth would be revealed! Emma’s lies were about to be brought to light!

Emma was about to get caught with her hand in the cookie jar, only Emma’s misdeed was much worse than the usual childhood transgressionsl. Emma had committed the crime of false allegations, false police reports, etc. She had to cover up what she’d done. I don’t know if Emma would have been prosecuted for her false allegations, but I would think she could have been if the priest wanted to press charges or to sue her. We’ve all faced stress in our lives, and at the age of 17, I think this was more than Emma could take. Phill and I didn’t know about all the lying Emma had done. It wasn’t until after Emma accused me of abuse that I started looking into many of her stories. We assumed we had a normal teenager who could be very difficult a lot of the time, like a lot of them are. I kept telling myself that if we just got her to college she would be ok. I thought she would love college and do well there, and I guess in some ways she has. She’s attended four different colleges that I know of so far, but she does make good grades. I don’t know how she likes it or if she has any friends besides people like Kayla Benifield Weaver and Abby Benito that she didn’t see often but kept in touch with through facebook, e-mail, and texts. It’s a lot easier to hide who you really are when you only see you “friends” for occasional, short visits.

Emma was keeping a terrible secret and didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. If she did talk about it, she would have had to admit what horrible things she’d done. I can only imagine how stressed out Emma was that she was going to be discovered. In her sick mind, this would have been catastrophic. The pressure she put on herself must have been overwhelming. She knew what was coming and she must have felt the clock ticking, worrying day in and day out that the attorneys would interview “Lacey” and find out the truth about the “rape” and “suicide attempt” and thus find the truth out about Emma.

In some ways I can sympathize with Emma. With the stress of being thrown out of my home, my husband refusing counseling, losing my marriage and my family. I went through my own stress, and I know how horrible I felt when I felt like I was losing everything that was important to me. The difference is, I talked to a therapist, went on an antidepressant for a little while, and had some wonderfully supportive family and friends who were there for me. I think I worked through my stress without trying to hurt or destroy someone else. Emma chose a much more sinister route.