Tag Archives: Emma Katherine Buchheim

Happy 2nd Anniversary Emma and Tyler

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Emma and Tyler!

EmmaTylerWedding

Happy 2nd anniversary to my lovely daughter Emma Katherine Buchheim and my wonderful son-in-law, Tyler Albert Buchheim. Being the middle of the week, I hope you get to do something fun, either going out to dinner or celebrating on the weekend! I’m sure Emma will have some kind of celebration planned.

As you know Emma, your dad and I kept anniversaries pretty low key. Going to Tybee on our 23rd while you were at church camp was the biggest thing we did. I wanted to do something on our 25th, but we didn’t have anywhere for you to go, so that didn’t happen, and I was looking forward to our 30th, but that wasn’t meant to be.

You will have to ask Daddy about our 2nd anniversary though. That was probably our most interesting anniversary. Back in 1986, I was working as a receptionist for a veterinarian, and worked with an assistant named Gail. Remember how you always made fun of Sandra Brooks McCravy for how much she called me and poured out her problems to me? Well, Gail was a lot like that, but she didn’t cry near as much as your Aunt Sandi. We were friends, and Daddy and I had her over to dinner and such, but I didn’t think of Gail as a really close friend. I liked her ok, but she was way too needy. She suffered from some mental issues and saw a therapist and a social worker on a regular basis. I don’t remember her being on any medication. Daddy used to joke about her having to pay people to listen to her, but we were very young and didn’t know much about mental illness. Gail had had an unhappy childhood and always seemed kind of depressed. I remember her telling me about her mother confiding in her that her dad was having an affair when she was maybe middle school aged, and she didn’t know how to handle that information. I think she liked being around Daddy and me because we were stable and happy. She was another person who called us “soulmates” and when I joked once about how you never know what will happen, about Daddy and I being together or not in 30 years or something like that, I remember her saying, “Oh, you and Phill will be together forever. You’re soulmates.” I’ve never forgotten that conversation, although I can’t remember what we were initially talking about.

Anyway, back before cell phones, when Daddy was working for UPS and driving one of the package cars, his route was in Sandy Springs, Ga, north of Atlanta. The UPS Center that Daddy worked out of was in Doraville, Ga, and we lived in Doraville at the time. Daddy would call me from somewhere on his route to let me know about when he’d be home so I could plan dinner.

I could work with Gail all day, and she would still call me when I got home from work. She would always ask if Daddy had called because she knew I would not stay on the phone if I hadn’t heard from him, and if he had, she would want to talk to me. I didn’t mind too much because we didn’t really talk much at work except when we occasionally went out to lunch together, but a lot of times I just stayed on the phone because I was too nice and didn’t know how to politely say I had other things to do. This was also before cordless phones, so you couldn’t move around while you talked on the phone either! In this day of talking, texting, and instant communication, I’m sure you have a hard time imagining what it was like for us back then, but we survived.

June 30th, 1986, Daddy and I were going to go out for our 2nd anniversary to Steak and Ale for a prime rib dinner. There was one I the Chamblee/Dunwoody area, and I don’t know if it is even still there. We didn’t go out to nice restaurants very often, so this was a treat. I remember I was dressed in a print skirt and matching top of little pastel flowers, and wearing the little opal necklace Daddy had given me for our anniversary. I always loved opals and had wished I was born in October, so they could be my birthstone, but nooooooooooooo, I had to get that ol’ yellow topaz and the alternate stone is the citrine, with is pretty much the same color. (Back then, you didn’t see a lot of the blue topaz like you do now.)

We were getting ready to go when Gail called, and I don’t even remember why she called, just that she was depressed. She must have talked about harming herself and we ended up going over to her apartment, which wasn’t far from where we lived. It’s been so long, I don’t remember all the details, but Daddy might. We ended up taking Gail to Northside Hospital, and then taking her home again. We were going to leave her when she got upset and got a steak knife and took it into the bedroom with her. Then, after more phone calls, we took her too a mental hosptial in Smyrna, Ga, and I think it is now called Ridgeview, but I can’t remember if that’s what it was called back then.  It was a lot like Charter Peachford, where you went.  Well, with all the driving and waiting at the hospitals, we didn’t get home and to bed until about 4am, and we both had to work the next day. I remember being so sleepy and just fighting to stay awake at work. It was horrible.

After all that, I think Gail owed us a steak dinner, but she was kind of in her own world and it didn’t occur to her that she had ruined our evening. I think she had a hard time seeing past her own problems.

Daddy and I did finally go out for our prime rib dinner to Steak and Ale, but it was on July 4th. We enjoyed a good meal and then had a romantic night at home. (I guess now that you’re a married lady, it’s ok for you to know that your parents had s-e-x! Big An used to say that every generation thinks they invented sex. I know you can’t imagine your mom and dad or Sherry and Bob loved/love each other like you and Tyler do.)

So, Happy Anniversary Emma and Tyler. I would have sent a card, but I didn’t want to cause Emma any PTSD or anything. I hope your 2nd anniversary is a lot less eventful than ours was!

Lots of love,

Mom/Maze

Happy Birthday Tyler Buchheim and a Princess Diana Story

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Happy 26th Birthday, Tyler Buchheim!

I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to my son-in-law, architect extraordinaire, Tyler Albert Buchheim who turns 26 on Aug. 21! Tyler, I hope you have a wonderful day! Take care of my girl!

CaptureTyler

Emma and Princess Diana

With all the reminders of the the anniversary of Princess Diana’s death, I wanted to share this story.

When Emma was three, we were visiting my sister in CT, and she fell in love with their guinea pig, so after we got home, we adopted a little guinea pig from the Atlanta Humane Society. Emma named her Milkbone, and she was a great little pig. Milkbone was more like a puppy who would follow you around and was very affectionate. When I held her, she would even nip at my shirt when she needed to go to the bathroom (#1). I could put her back in her pen and hear a little whiz, and then she would stand up on her hind legs, wanting me to pick her up again. She was definitely a very special piggie. She would also lick your face when she was excited, like when you first picked her up. Of course, typical kid, Emma lost interest and didn’t pay as much attention to Milkbone after a while, but that was ok. She still held her some, and I took her out and held her at least once or twice a day. Her pen was an open sterlite box in the breakfast nook, so she was kind of in the center of things and it was always easy to stop and reach in and pet her.

There was a program on every afternoon called, “Once Upon a Hamster” and we had a little routine where Emma would sit on the sofa with a towel in her lap and some vegetables and Milkbone would sit on her lap and happily munch away while Emma petted her and watched her program. The station the program was one was one of those off stations and it had those kind of “as seen on tv” commercials where you could purchase something amazing for just three payments of $19.95… Up to this point, Emma had only watched PBS, and she was just fascinated with the commercials and wanted me to buy everything she saw such as collectibles, gadgets, etc. She would call to me, “MOM! We need this! Look! You put it on your hose and was the car with it!” It was pretty cute to see her take so seriously and get so excited about every commercial that came on.

On Aug. 31, 1997, a friend invited Emma and I over to play in their above ground pool. We were enjoying cooling off, playing with the kids, when the husband came out to tell us that Princess Diana had died. We were kind of shocked and talked about it and that was it.

Not long after that, Emma was sitting with Milkbone, watching Once Upon a Hamster, and a commercial came on for some Princess Diana stamps. “Mom! We need to buy these Princess Diana stamps!”

Dianastamp

I walked into the room, glanced at the tv, and explained to Emma that I was sure they were really nice, but we didn’t need any Princess Diana stamps. Emma immediately had a meltdown and sobbed, “But, Mom!!! ………… She’s dead!!” (We still didn’t buy them, but Emma’s and Tyler’s anniversary is coming up, so if you need a gift idea…..) Poor Emma. Scarred for life because she didn’t get her Princess Diana stamps.

Death of A Marriage, Part 2

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Death of a Marriage (Part 2)

26 Years, 9 months, 14 days.

My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

I have thought that maybe Phill and I could have survived Emma’s problems or his midlife crisis, but it appears we couldn’t survive both at the same time.

For nearly 27 years, Phill told me almost daily how happy he was being married, being married to me, how much he loved me, etc. Yes, it sounds corny, but he did. I felt the same way. I guess in some ways, even with all the hell Phill put me through, letting Emma divide us when we should have been united and dealing with her issues together, in some ways I was luckier than a lot of people. For almost 27 years, I had a very happy marriage, happier than most, I think. I loved my husband more and more because I thought after 27 years I knew what kind of man he had proven to be. Ok, I was wrong, but I still loved him. We had disagreements, but probably only had heated arguments a handful of times in nearly 27 years. We got along well and loved each other, and we had a lot of fun, just being together. Phill could always make me laugh, and that was one of the things I loved about him. He couldn’t tell a joke to safe his life. He could never get the punchline right, or he would leave out some key element of the story, but Phill was very funny in other ways. He’s quick witted and good at puns. He also does a great Bob Dylan impersonation, but he is usually too self-conscious to do it for anyone but me.

I’ve wondered about this; do I say I was married 26 years? Or do I say I was married 27 years. The divorce was final just before our 28th anniversary, so I guess I could say 27 years, but Phill had the sheriff’s department come and throw me out of our home about 2 1/2 months before our 27th anniversary, so that would make it 26 years. I don’t know how other people count the years of their failed marriages. Do you count the time you were together or the total time up until the divorce is final?

Well, just to keep it simple, I will say 26 years. How do you describe 26 years of a failed marriage? I’m not sure. We were happy. We were very happy. Phill told me everyday that he loved me, and especially in the later years talked about the times we would have together when we were retired, after Emma was on her own. We looked forward to being together without everything being centered around Emma. We’d talked about working on our yard, taking a Master Garder’s course, getting a camper or RV and traveling when Phill retired. I was really looking forward to having some time with my husband again. We figured we’d get down to having just one dog, but Phill said I could still foster one and we could take it on the road with us, advertising that it was for adoption. I figured I’d have to go back to work for a few years when Emma started college, to help pay for it, but Emma managed just fine from what I heard, even getting a scholarship to Piedmont College in Demorest, Ga. (Wouldn’t you love to read her college application essay? I’m sure it must have been all about overcoming being an abused child.) I guess Emma gave up her scholarship when she moved to Ohio to live with Tyler’s family.

I guess that one mistake in our marriage after we had Emma was that everything was about Emma. We lived our lives around Emma. We didn’t have date nights, and in Emma’s 17 years, the only time we took a trip alone was when Emma went to church camp at Camp Mikell, and the week she went happened to fall on our 23rd anniversary. Phill and I slipped off to Tybee Island, Ga for a few days alone and had a wonderful time! We were like excited kids who got to sneak out without the parents. We so enjoyed a few days being alone. As much as we loved Emma, we rarely got some time without her. This was true especially for me since I was the one that homeschooled her.

Something that happened that was kind of funny, on out last day at Tybee, we were packing up the car and then drove to Toccoa, Ga. For the camp performance and to pick up Emma, and we saw this couple in the parking lot of the condo where we stayed, also packing up. Then we saw the same couple at Camp Mikell. We stopped to talk to them, and they’d done the same thing—taken advantage of the kids going to camp to have some alone time!

*********************************************************************

As a young wife, I was very insecure about a lot of things. I was introverted and shy, and I remember thinking how awful it would be if your husband cheated on you. Funny. I had no idea how awful my husband could make my life. A little affair sounds kind of minor in the grand scheme of what I went through.

After years of marriage, I finally felt secure in my marriage. I trusted Phill and felt we were a team and we could get through almost anything together. Up until Phill started flying RC planes, we were never one of those couples who went separate ways on the weekend. We did almost everything together. Up until Phill started flying RC planes, he was pretty introverted just like I was, and we were homebodies. What little socializing we did was with people that I knew, as Phill didn’t really seem to make friends much up until he found his niche with the RC group. All of a sudden he was a big fish in a small pond.

If you read Death of a Marriage, I ended that post saying that Phill didn’t want the divorce, Emma did.

Emma was the one, going with Phill to meet with the attorney. Emma was the one who wanted the divorce from her mother, not Phill. Phill just didn’t know what to do, so he let Emma take over. Even his own attorney admitted this.

While going through the divorce, Emma was on face book bragging about doing the grocery shopping and doing household chores. All of a sudden, she was the woman of the house. She didn’t have any competition for her dad’s attention, and she could play up the sexually abuse and whatever else she made up. I have no doubt she did a lot of research on the internet so she could act out being a victim.

It was during this time that Phill’s midlife crisis hit head on. He had Emma at home, taking care of things there, so he could go off to RC events for a weekend, and not worry about who was taking care of the pets. He was also hanging out with some of his RC buddies who were teaching him how to brew beer. Phill had been interested in setting up a brewery at home, and he would go hang out with his RC buddies, drink beer and talk toy airplnes. It’s kind of funny because Emma was telling Tyler’s family that she wasn’t safe at home while her dad was on the road, but Phill had no trouble leaving Emma to go off for weekends. It was such a shock to me that Phill threw me out of our home on April 7, 2011, but had no trouble going off for a week to SEFF (Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Americus, Ga.) This was such a shock to me, how could Phill take off to fly toy airplanes when his family was falling apart? I don’t know where Emma was when Phill went to SEFF. I’m assuming she stayed with Judy and John Hall because Judy had been driving her to and from school until Phill took her to get her license. Phill had take out the TPO against me, so I’d lost my job of taking Emma to school. The school frowns on child abusers acting as chauffeurs for their abused children.

SEFF2011a

Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, SEFF, 2011

Emma had ruined Phill’s trip to SEFF the year before, so I guess that was why he was so determined to go. I was supposed to go with him, after I finished with the end of year program where I was working. I was supposed to drive down for the weekend, for the end of SEFF, before Phill came home, but Phill rescinded that invitation after he had me removed from our home.

(In 2010, SEFF occurred just after Emma had confessed to us that she had repressed memories of being sexually abused by the priest. She was supposed to go with Phill to SEFF and work as Jeff Meyer’s assistant, and Phill and I thought it would be good for her to get away from home and go. Once down there, Emma called me often. She hid out in the tent she and Phill had, and didn’t do what she was supposed to be doing as Jeff Meyer’s assistant. She was super paranoid that the priest was going to show up and find her for ratting him out. I consoled her over the phone several times, explaining there was no way the priest would know she was down in Americus Georgia for SEFF. He was not going to track her down and show up there. Also, the police were investigating him at that point, so he would have been pretty stupid to go anywhere near Emma.)

Even after Phill threw me out of our home, he tried to hug me, kiss me, hold me and told me he loved me. I was so devastated by what he did, I didn’t understand how he could act so affectionate when he threw me out of our home, and I wanted none of it.

If you know Phill, he is an easy-going guy, to the point of being passive. He just goes along with whatever everyone else is doing, so he let Emma take over the divorce. He wasn’t the one who wanted it, he still loved me, but after Emma took over, and Phill was deep into his midlife crisis, Phill was having too much fun to be married, traveling around the country flying RC planes, later getting a camper, etc. The single life was fun after nearly 27 years of the ball and chain, and there was too much water under the bridge for Phill to go back.

Meanwhile, while my husband was having his 2nd childhood, I was investigating many of the lies Emma had told us the past few years, which was pretty near everything that came out of Emma’s mouth. A friend of mine, who was also a victim of Emma’s lies, put it quite simply:

Emma lied pretty much about everyone and everything.

She lied about the priest and being molested.

She lied about Phill, but you wouldn’t have it, so she started lying about you.

Phill was too weak to stand up to Emma, so she got her way.

The End.

That sums it up pretty well.

Of course, believing in my husband, I thought he would come to his senses once I uncovered so many of Emma’s lies, but Phill, being somewhat passive and non-confrontational, couldn’t deal with the truth, so he let Emma continue her lies. That’s my biggest disappointment in this whole thing. I know Emma is a hot mess. She was lying about so many things that I’m not sure she knows how to tell the truth, but Phill……………… I thought my husband was a better man. I always thought he would do the right thing. I always thought he would fight for his wife and for his family. I was wrong. It made Phill too uncomfortable to face the truth, so he just let Emma keep going. Add to that the fun of being single, traveling the country flying toy airplanes and drinking beer, and what more could a fellow want?

I don’t know enough about Emma’s issues to know if we could have helped her. If we’d gotten her some real therapy to face her lying issues, could we have helped her? I don’t know, and it’s probably too late now. Tyler will have to be the man that Emma’s dad wasn’t able to be.

Overall, Phill loved being married. When I would go away from home which wasn’t often, but when I did, the longer I was away, the harder it was to get off the phone with Phill. I would call him everyday, and we would talk, but the longer I was gone, the more he would talk and not let me hang up. It was very sweet and cute and only mildly annoying when I really had to get going because we were going out or something. Phill didn’t like being alone, and I knew, even with his talk about being “soulmates” that I would be easily replaced. Phill is easy-going and if you can hold a conversation, cook for him, and sleep with him, that would be pretty much all he requires. He is pretty easy to please. I had no doubt that Phill would re-marry. He doesn’t like being alone, and he’s really not picky, so if he’s not re-married already, he will be, and I’ll write down a few words of advice for Kim Chassion and Sydney Chassion at some point.

I knew Phill was a lot smarter than me, and would come out ahead in the divorce. Having recently bought a home, I had very little when I moved in, and Phill rented a storage unit and threw my things in there, in his passive aggressive way, and I went over and got a few things, and then had enough and quit. It is just some personal items, mostly books and diaries, things like that. After all, Phill has to make room for Kim Chassion’s things in my home.

Phill wouldn’t let me have anything I could actually use like furniture, dishes, linens, cookware… I’ve been buying used furniture for my home, and slowly acquiring things. I have to laugh when I think of all the little things I need like a garden hose, a rolling pin, baking sheets, etc. You don’t realize how many little things you have until you have no access to them. Phill won at the divorce, no doubt about that, but that’s ok. I’ve started over, and I’ll keep working on it. Phill may have all our things, and I hope Kim enjoys the desk he got me for my birthday, and my office chair, and that they enjoy wine out of the wine glasses Emma and Phill got me for my birthday one year, oh and that lamp on the nightstand on Kim’s side of the bed, that was a birthday gift one year, too. And when they walk out in the back yard and smell the wonderful gardenia bush and the roses out back, those were mother’s day gifts. And the little circle of bricks, down below the deck. That’s where three of my very special dogs were buried, so please take care of that place and keep flowers growing in there.

So, Emma, on April 14th 2011, when we went to see Suzie McGarvey for your therapy session and then for our family session was when you convinced Suzie McGarvey that you had to be separated from your mom. (Horrors! You were so abused!) Daddy and I had been married 26 years, 9 months, and 14 days. This was when Daddy really turned against me, even thought he didn’t throw me out until April 7th. That means if you and Tyler can stay married until June 29th, 2042, you will have outlasted your parent’s marriage. That would really be sticking it to your mom, wouldn’t it? Good luck with that! If you want to count up to April 7th, that makes it 26 years, 10 months, and 8 days, so you can do the math on that one. Ohmigoodness, Tyler, I’m so sorry you got dragged into this family, but I did try to warn you.

So, from a lying, manipulative 17 year old, to a husband in his 2nd childhood, my marriage didn’t stand a chance. My husband was too weak to stand up to his daughter, and when you let a 17 year old take over the family, well, it’s not a good thing.

 

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma has a career in, ummmmm, sales.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Thank you Emma-fans for your thoughts and encouragement during my move. It has been (and still is) a chore, but I’m getting there. So much to do, but I am thankful to be out of the crazy neighbor situation.

One thing Emma taught me was to take lots of notes on strange situations, and that I did. I will have to transcribe them and write the whole story out, but to give you an idea of what was going on, it started when my 83 year old landlord decided his wife 77 year old wife was having an affair with our 47 year old GAY neighbor.

How does that involve your heroine here? Well, I’m not sure. It started to involve me when Mr. 83 started calling me and coming over to talk to me and complain about Gay Neighbor (GN), his wife, his wife’s friendship with GN, his mariage, etc. I assured Mr. 83 that nothing was going on, but he would not listen. GN was a fine neighbor. I had nothing to complain about. He was quiet and worked at home, so it was nice knowing there was someone keeping an eye on things. We’d all gotten together a few times at GN’s house or at 83’s house, and I thought everyone got along fine. Mrs.77 and I had gone over to GN’s a couple of times for dinner and a movie, but all these events were over the course of a year, so it’s not like we were hanging out with him every night.

Mr. 83 all of a sudden seemed to turn on GN. Mr. 83 has a grown son who is gay, and it didn’t sound like he handled that very well, so GN suspected it was when Mr. 83 realized GN was gay that he began having issues. Things escalated and Mr. 83 went over screaming and threatening to kick GN’s ass, ect., and when Mr. 83 would not leave, GN called the police. All I could think about Mr. 83 was, “You are 83 and you walk with a cane. You are NOT kicking anybody’s ass!”

Somehow, Mr. 83 decided I was involved and told me that I was either too stupid and naive to know what was going on or else I was complicit in his wife’s affair. Huh? He told me that GN was either after his wife sexually or for his (Mr. 83’s money—–I found it interesting that it was HIS money and not THEIR money.)

Mr. 83 wanted to “bust up” the friendship between his wife, GN and me. I asked him what the heck he was talking about as I’d seen GN twice in the previous month, and Mr. 83 went on to complain about all my transgressions such as collecting GN’s mail when he was out of town. I was dumbfounded, but reminded Mr. 83 that I collected HIS mail when he and his wife were out of town, that’s just kind of what neighbors do. Mr. 83 complained that I was more his wife’s friend than his (True, but I did remind Mr. 83 that I would not tolerate it if I thought his wife was behaving badly.), and one of the most bizarre things was when Mr. 83 asked me about GN’s home gym. Did I know GN was building a home gym? How did I know that’s what it was?

stick figure boy exercising with weights

I explained to Mr. 83 that GN was indeed building a home gym because he’d showed me where he was painting and the industrial carpeting he was putting down in the room, and I saw with my own two eyeballs, the box that said “Home Gym” on it.

Then, Mr. 83 explained to me that GN was not building a home gym, but had a SEX ROOM. (You can’t make this stuff up.) Ok, so being a boring basic white bread kind of girl, at first I had no idea what Mr. 83 was talking about. Two days later, the whole thing seemed pretty funny, but it was not funny sitting there, for almost an hour, listening to Mr. 83 go on and on because I was too polite to say, “Ok. You’ve evicted me. You can leave now.” The bizarreness of it was like Emma Kate Roey Buchheim all over again. What the heck? I went around for a week dazed by all the craziness. Like Emma, I did not want to see that there was a problem with Mr. 83. He was someone I’d been close to for the past 6 years, and I looked up to him in a fatherly sort of way. It took a while for me to admit there was something very wrong, whether physically or mentally, with Mr. 83, beyond a little jealousy.

Later on, the Mrs., told me that Mr. 83 was carrying his gun back and forth from their other home. Mr. 83 had told me when he was over that was sleeping about 2 hours a night, and his wife told me he was following her around so he could keep a close eye on her. Once, when the Mrs. asked me to help her with something on the computer, I went over, and Mr. 83 would not leave us alone, and kept coming in the room to check on us. I’d done this kind of thing with the Mrs. many times over the years, and Mr. 83 had never acted like that before.

Mr. 83 was also calling his wife a whore and a slut, calling me a bitch, and I won’t even mention the gay slurs he was calling GN. I began sleeping with a chair under the doorknob so that someone would not be able to get into my house easily.

Mr. 83 even had an attorney write a letter threatening to sue GN for things like the dissolution of his marriage, and colluding with his wife to murder him, but the letter stated Mr. 83 was willing to settle thing amicably for a quarter of a million dollars. Funny thing was, at the time he sent the letter, he was still married, so it really seemed as though Mr. 83 was attempting to blackmail GN, but that’s just my Legal-for-Dummies opinion.

Oh, and if you’re wondering about the “murder” part, the Mrs. had sent GN a text that she was going to “shoot” (I may be confused about the wording, but I think it was “shoot”) Mr. 83. The Mrs. says she’s going to “shoot” anyone anytime she gets annoyed. We are great friends, but I’m sure she has wanted to “shoot” me at times. Mr. 83 showed me the texts and it was very clear to me that the Mrs. and GN were joking. GN responded something about how he told her not do do it unless she had a cart so she could dump the body in the well. Reading through the texts, it was very clear to me that the two were joking, and I explained that to Mr. 83 when he showed me the texts, but he would not hear it. He believed they were conspiring to murder him.

well

On April 1, there was an altercation and the Mrs. left Mr. 83 at about 3AM. Mr. 83 fell down in the driveway chasing after Mrs. 77, and went to the hospital the following day claiming that Mrs. 77 had run him over.

Meanwhile, yours truly was at work, and the police were calling me, as well as GN, and Mrs. 77. That night, I had to call the police when I got home from work so that an officer could come to the house and interview me. The officer told me about his interview with Mr. 83 which was actually pretty amusing, and he also told me that there would be no charges brought against the Mrs. as her story was very consistent. Mr. 83’s story, however, was not.

There’s more, but I think you get the gist of it. It was one crazy thing after another, not to mention the tree falling on Mr. 83’s house and pretty much totaling it. (GN suggested this might be Karma, and I have to wonder about that myself.) Mr. 83 sent me emails, and threatened to turn of the power to the home I was renting. (After reading about how much judges dislike landlords who do this sort of thing, I almost wish he had!) The night before the tree fell on their house, Mrs. 77 told me not to rush into moving. She had been to see a couple of attorneys, so I guess she knew it would take time to sort out, but once the tree made their house uninhabitable, she didn’t say another word. Mr. 83 was chomping at the bit to get me to move because he wanted to move into my house so he could “supervise” the work that would be done rebuilding his home. During the time Mr. 83 wanted me to move so badly, he seemed to forget all about GN, like maybe he could only focus on what seemed to me as one obsession at a time.

Now, I’m in a quiet neighborhood, and I’m not even sure I want to meet my neighbors! I think I will just wave from across the road. That’s enough for me.

I may have made some mistakes with my purchase. I was getting panicked about wanting to move away from the whole crazy neighbor situation, and I may have rushed into it and not thought some things through, but it’s done now, and another thing Emma has taught me is that happiness is a choice, and I’m going to be happy where I am.

The sad thing is, Mr. 83 was a great neighbor for 6 years and someone I looked up to and admired. He was hard working, and when he was younger, juggled 2 or 3 jobs. I tried to suggest that Mr. 83 might need a complete physical evaluation, and several people have made other suggestions such as dementia, TIA’s, etc causing this behavior change in Mr. 83, but I have no power to force Mr. 83 to see a doctor, and right now, even though I’m concerned and I still care about Mr. 83, I’m relieved to be out of there. Just like Emma, there were signs I missed that something wasn’t right with Mr. 83. I guess when you feel close to someone, you just don’t want to see that there is something wrong. Maybe if I were a trained professional like all of Emma’s multiple therapists, I would have caught on sooner. (Suzie McGarvey, Dr. Genie Burnett (Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett), Dr. Richard Born (Rich Born), etc. Thank goodness Emma is in sales and isn’t in the counseling field yet. I just don’t think that is the right career for my girl.

The funny thing is, Mr. 83 got what he wanted. After GN had to call the police on Mr. 83 back in Jan., he decided, although he thought the Mrs. was a wonderful friend, that it would be easier if he just didn’t have anything to do with either one of them. (And he didn’t even call the police when Mr. 83 broke into his garage without his permission.) Mrs. 77 left her husband on April 1, and at that point, GN hadn’t spoken to either of them since Jan. Then, Mr. 83 got rid of me, so now he’s sitting over there in the little house that I rented, with the French doors that look out on GN’s house. Mr. 83 got what he wanted, but I don’t think it turned out quite like he planned.

tree on house

Anyway, Emma-fans, I look forward to getting settled and getting back to telling Emma’s story. Thanks for your love and support. Write me anytime at: losingemma@gmail.com

Denial Dad! And What’s Your Superpower?

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Denial Dad! And What’s Your Superpower?

A lot of people have asked me over the past few years, “What happened to Phill?” “What is wrong with Phill?” and many more questions along those lines. Well, Phill is really the only one who can answer that, but I can give you my perspective after being married to the man for 26+ years. Phill was a good person, and I never thought in a million years he would do some of the things he did, and I surely thought, after realizing his mistake, Phill would take the appropriate action. But, like a lot of men, Phill has a lot of trouble admitting he’s wrong, and let’s face it, accusing your wife of abusing your daughter and destroying your marriage because of it is one heck of a mistake to make.

I wanted to share what it it like to deal with Phill through some recent e-mails. A while back, Phill and I were texting and when I brought up a subject Phill was uncomfortable with, he threatened to block me, which I’m assuming he did. I haven’t tried to text him in a while, so I don’t know for sure. At the time, I assumed he blocked me from his e-mails as well.

Recently, I misplaced a check and forgot all about cashing it. At the same time, a friend and I’d been talking about how I used to do some beadwork (you can see it on my facebook page, and if your are interested, just e-mail me and I’ll send you the album links), and I sort of wished I had my old desk and maybe I’d take up my old hobby again. I told her that I’d asked Phill two or three years ago for my desk, but he just ignored me. She told me to ask him for it, and knowing about Phill’s difficulty with facing his wife, suggested that she could go over and pick up my desk for me. I’d already told Phill that he could have all my stuff, and if you’re curious about that part of the story, just do a search for Bradley D. Moody, and you can read all about Phill and how he came to keep all my things.

So anyway, back to my story, I came home and thought why not e-mail and ask for my desk, a birthday gift Phill got me from IKEA, but since Phill had probably blocked me, I was going to e-mail his newest attorney, Bradley D. Moody, Attorney at Law with Lee Sexton and Associates in Stockbridge, Ga.? And since Bradley D. Moody, son-in-law of Matt Klos, husband of Jessie Klos Moody, father to little Ella Moody, always uses his Bar# when he signs his correspondences, I was going to be sure to include Bar#655693.

20130430_157

This picture of Rob, one of the kids from Emma’s youth group, but you can see part of the IKEA desk in the background.  It had some nice shelves.

I came home and got on the computer, and surprise, surprise, there, out of the blue, was an e-mail from my husband! It read as follows:

10/28/16

I reissued a check you didn’t cash back in July, it should be there in a few days. They’re only good for 90 days so it was automatically voided.

I never blocked my email so you don’t have to get creative if you need to get in touch.

Phill

So I responded:

Wow. Your ears must be burning. I was just about to email your “attorney” Bradley D. Moody, attorney at law #655693 to get in touch with you.

A while ago, I asked for the desk that you got me for my birthday from IKEA, and you never brought it. Can I send a “third party” to pick it up?

Oh, and since I have you, a friend re-did my computer with Windows 10, etc., but I lost my snip tool. (This has quite a learning curve, for me anyway.) Can you tell me the name of that program we had. I can’t seem to find it.

My best to Emma.

So…………….after all this time of no correspondence whatsoever from my dear husband, I get yet another e-mail the same day:

If you click on the Cortana button just to the right of the start(windows) button and start typing “snipping” the tool will show up.

http://www.techsupportalert.com/content/screenshot-captor.htm-1

The one we used to use is gone.

As to the desk, you have lost the rights to the items you didn’t pick up. I tried for years to get you to get the items in the settlement

Phill

Wow, what authority! He certainly told me, didn’t he! It’s a shame he never took that tone with Emma, or she might not have the problems she does. (Well, yeah, she probably would, I think she was born with some personality disorders and such, but we just didn’t figure it out.)

Ok, and so some of you reading this blog know me, and know I can be a very patient person when I need to be, but sometimes, just sometimes, I have a low tolerance for idiots, so I couldn’t resist getting a little bit snarky:

Okay, but would you please send me the copy of the Toxicology report that Emma claims to have showing that I poisoned her with DDT? My lawyer is still waiting on that.

Did you ever talk to Father T. about all those times Emma babysat his boys? And the time she had the called 911 because son #1 got so out of hand?

Lie after lie. What happens when you finally accept the truth in real life How badly you betrayed your wife? Don’t bother to answer. I won’t bother you again. I’ll go through your attorney for anything else.

Love, wifey number one. My best to Kim. (Kim Chassion, aka Mrs. Roey 2.0)

And if you’re new to the blog, let me just mention that yes, Emma was going around telling people I poisoned her with DDT, and Emma never babysat our priest’s sons, but knew the parents had to call 911 when their bipolar son got out of control one night, so she went around telling people that SHE had to call 911 one night when SHE was babysitting the boys. Funny thing is, Emma NEVER babysat those boys.

So once again, the threat:

I will answer emails regarding alimony and the property settlement. I also don’t mind tech support questions.

I will not respond to anything having to do with the grounds leading to the divorce. I warned you I’d block phone and text if you continued to harangue me and you chose to push it so I blocked you. If you do the same on email I’ll block that too, leaving only US mail. I’d prefer not to do that.

Phill

Poor Phill! Harangued! Threatening to block me again! Oh, my stars, what will I do? (I swear folks, he was not this stupid when I was married to him.) I brought up a subject that Phill can’t deal with, so he has to threaten to block me again. Horrors!  Funny, it was some SEFF folks who told me about Emma going around saying I poisoned her with DDT and she had the toxicology report to prove it, but my poor little snowflake of a husband can’t deal with that, so we are not allowed to discuss it.  Nope, can’t even bring it up.  Phill won’t explain Emma’s actions because he can’t, and he can’t face the truth, so let’s just not talk about it.  Now, that’s a real tough man right there, isn’t he?

At this point, I figured I’d just let Phill retreat to his “Safe Space” and get some counseling, some warm milk, and maybe a therapy dog. I didn’t want to stress the poor boy out any more than I already had. After all, if he can’t handle an e-mail and has to threaten to block me, he must really be upset. Poor baby. (I swear folks, he wasn’t this much of a wimp when I was married to him.) I didn’t e-mail Phill and further and decided if I needed to talk to him, I’d just do it through the blog or through his latest attorney, Bradley D. Moody, Attorney at Law, Bar #655693, the associate part of Lee Sexton and Associates of Stockbridge, Ga., son-in-law of Phill’s RC buddy, Matt Klos (Events Director of SEFF), wife of Jessie Klos Moody, father to Ella Moody, and as for computer help, I won’t bother the poor boy with that either, though I always need the help, but thankfully, I have other friends who are computer literate, as I am not!  (Usually, when I asked Phill to teach me something on the computer, he told me not to worry about it because he’d always be there to do it for me.)

This blog is really about Emma, and I’m not going to talk too much about Phill, or at least not now, other than how he relates to the story of Emma. We were married for 26 years, and up until Emma accused me (the 2nd time) of abuse, I thought we were happy. Phill always claimed to be happy, talked about retirement, and us doing things together after Emma was gone, etc. and was proud of our long marriage right up until he decided to have a midlife crisis in the middle of all Emma’s problems. I was totally blindsided by what my husband did and one day, I hope he’ll have the guts to explain to me what in the world he was thinking, but right now, he can’t face me (I am that scary!), or I guess to put it more clearly, he can’t face what he did, so the easiest way for him to deal with that is to not to have to face me, hence that’s why he wanted me to send a 3rd party to pick up my things at our home………………… I mean, I get the whole midlife crisis thing. I’ve known several women who’ve been through the same thing. There is always someone younger, cuter, slimmer, different issues, someone who hasn’t heard your same jokes and stories 1000 times, a bottle blonde as opposed to your salt and pepper haired wife…………. (funny thing is, Phill hated me coloring my hair and wanted me to let it go natural, and then he takes up with a bottle blonde?) But the Phill I was married to would not have let Emma go on with her lies. The Phill I was married to considered himself a secular humanist, a good person, and he would have not let an innocent person be falsely accused by his daughter, but now he’s done it with both the priest and with me. And for many other lie’s Emma’s told, Phill just makes excuses for her.  When Emma claimed the girl down the street had an abortion and she might be pregnant again, I later investigated and this girl told me none of it was true.  Instead of asking Emma about her lies, Phill chose to believe the girl told Emma these things to sound cool.  Emma couldn’t have possible made them up.  Somebody get the man a cape for Christmas!

I hope Phill survives this midlife personality shift he’s going through with a clear conscience. The man I was married to would have stood up and would have been a man, and would have done what’s right, but I don’t even know who this new Phill is.  I don’t think he does either.

And, BTW, Phill was wrong about the snip tool, I was able to get the exact one I had, which is great because I am a creature of habit and wanted to stick with the one I know.

As for the desk, that’s ok, Phill. I have new hobbies now and I’ll probably end up giving all my beading stuff away. I like to write now, and I still have a lot of Emma’s story to tell.