Tag Archives: Emma Kate Buchheim

The Police Dog Meme

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her current husband, Tyler Buchheim live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, works as a teaching assistant for Southern Methodist University in Dallas, and   Emma works leasing swanky apartments in Frisco.   Emma and Tyler are the parents to two little dogs, Arya and Sansa.  (Emma is a huge Game of Thrones fan.)  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Just a couple of light thoughts today.

Police Dog

Ok, so I kept seeing this meme pop up, and I liked it but did not save it, so when I tried to go back and find it, I couldn’t. Darn! So……….. I just made my own. For someone who’s not too computer savy (and sadly had a husband who kept telling me I didn’t need to know how to do things because he would always be there to help me), I’m pretty pleased with myself for mastering the meme generator! I like this one better than the one I saw earlier.

Anyway, if you know the history of Emma, one of her better lies, er stories, was the one about being searched by a drug dog in high school. Emma claimed that a boy, JB, who lived in our neighborhood and rode the school bus with Emma, had a grudge against Emma’s “friend” C. (later Emma called her an “acquaintance” rather than a friend), so he turned the group of them in, claiming they had drugs on the bus……………… Emma went on to say that she got called out of class to be searched by a drug dog, and told the officer how she volunteered with a rescue………… It was a GREAT story, and Emma put so much detail into it, that it’s a shame it wasn’t true. (But her dad doesn’t think she has a lying problem.) To tell such a great story, I’m wondering did Emma rehearse it, or to good liars just work on the fly?

The other thing I wanted to share with Emma was a gift for Tyler, the Good Architect. I saw these and thought they were so cute for the Leggo enthusiast! (or appropriate for a Bob the Builder like Tyler!) So, Emma, there’s a Christmas idea for you, or you can get Tyler one and tell him it’s from me!

Leggo Mug

Love,

Maze

I LOVE This Mom!

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her current husband, Tyler Buchheim live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, works as a teaching assistant for Southern Methodist University in Dallas, and   Emma works leasing swanky apartments in Frisco.   Emma and Tyler are the parents to two little dogs, Arya and Sansa.  (Emma is a huge Game of Thrones fan.)  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

I LOVE this Mom!

I’m a little late to the party, but if you haven’t seen it, check out Nicole Walter’s video of paying a visit to her daughter’s college:

https://www.westernjournal.com/l/slarson/mom-shows-daughters-college-doesnt-respond-text-calls-3-days/

I’m not sure which one of my FB friends posted it first, but by the time I found it, she already had something like 7 million views, and it is hilarious! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with embarrassing your kids, especially in such a humorous way, to get them to straighten up, and there is also a follow-up video where the daughter admits her parents were right.

Of course, Nicole probably has what I would consider a “normal” daughter, and I have Emma. If you are a frequent reader, you know as Emma’s mom, I think Emma has a personality disorder such as narcissism, sociopath/psychopathy, borderline, or perhaps bits of several personality disorders (PDs). In Emma’s case, I don’t know that showing up at Emma’s college after she ghosted her parents for 3 days would have had the desired effect.

I remember Phill and I watching the Roseanne show, and I think it was before Emma was born, but there was an episode where Roseanne wore overalls and acted like a goober and went to her kids’ school to embarrass one of them, I think it was Darlene, and Phill saying that was the kind of parent he wanted to be.  If our kid(s) acted up, he thought embarrassing them would be great, not that he ever followed through with that threat.

I will admit, that when Emma was attending Piedmont College in Demorost, Ga., I did consider going up there and handing out flyers with the web address. I guess that’s still an idea. Anyone want to take a road trip to Frisco, Texas? We could visit Emma’s swanky apartment complex and hand out flyers.  Maybe one day.

I don’t write the blog to embarrass Emma, and I have offered to take it down, but as long as my daughter goes around telling people that she was molested by a priest, and abused by her mother, I will tell her story.  (Someone needs to write a country song about Poor Emma’s sad little life!  She has a dog (two) but as far as I know, Emma and Tyler don’t have a pick-up.)

As a mother, and talking to my friends who are mothers, the past couple of weeks have been pretty gut wrenching. There was the story of Mollie Tibbetts body being found, and there was the story about pregnant mom Shannan Watts and her two little girls Bella and Celeste, all murdered by her husband, the children’s father. How does someone murder their own children? Crimes of passion I can almost understand, but when you see pictures of little innocent babies, I will never understand it.

There was also a young lady from Alabama, on a camping trip with her family here in Georgia, a recent college graduate with her whole life in front of her, who was battling her own demons and committed suicide, by weighing herself down and drowning while on a family camping trip. My coworkers and I were talking about these stories, and there was almost an overwhelming sadness in the air. It just seemed like a week with one sad story after another. In at least two of these stories, there is some sort of mental illness or PD. Is Chris Watts a sociopath to kill his family and then try to say his wife killed the girls because he was going to leave her? How could he expect that anyone would believe that? He thinks that much of himself that he can spout this garbage and think people will fall for it?  That is some kind of ego!

In the suicide case, there must have been some sort of depression for the young lady to feel her life was so hopeless and it is heartbreaking to think this girl didn’t realize that she had a bright future in front of her.

Is Mollie Tibbetts killer another sociopath, someone with no regard for someone else’s life.  Random murders, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, are particularly frightening because there is no rhyme of reason to them.

I’m still reading and learning about PDs even though it is not one of my favorite subjects. God bless the people who work with the mentally ill, because it is not a job for most folks. When I was a student, I didn’t enjoy my rotation working with the mentally ill at a psych facility.  I lucked out and got an pretty easy rotation working with teens, but I had decided that psych mostly consisted of substance abuse and some pretty heavy mental illness.   I learned early on that I don’t have a lot of patience for substance abuse and what someone chooses to do to themselves.  And, for the people who are truly crazy, there’s not a lot that can really help them anyway.  The schizophrenics were really sad.  Of course that’s a generalization, and some diagnoses can be helped.   Bipolars, for example do pretty well if they stay on their medication, but sadly, many of them start a cycle of thinking they are fine and stop their meds and then everything falls apart and they repeat this pattern over and over again.

In Emma’s case, I feel like Phill and I missed some hallmark warning signs, but neither of us were well educated in mental illness, so we didn’t know what to be looking out for. Emma’s whole life, we never understood how punishment didn’t matter to Emma, and she didn’t get cause and effect, but it wasn’t until I got out of my home and started some research and realized Emma’s whole life was pretty much a lie. She lied about almost everyone she ever met. I felt so stupid! I had absolutely no idea just what a compulsive liar Emma was! Almost everything that came out of her mouth! Some of the lies were silly and harmless, but what’s with the lying? Which PDs are asscoiated with chronic lying? What is wrong with my daughter?

Most children outgrow lying, but Emma was still going at it fast and furious as the age of 17, so I would be willing to bet that she hasn’t slowed down and she is still a great teller of tall tales. Getting older and more education and more life experience, I’m sure Emma has gotten more skillful with her lying, even better than she did as a teen. I just hate to think of all the people she may have hurt along the way, and I’m sure Tyler, being busy with work and school and in love, probably hasn’t caught on yet. I worry about Emma hurting others. We didn’t raise her that way, but once your kids are grown, you have no control. Apparently, we didn’t have a lot of control anyway, but I tried.

A year or two after Phill had me thrown out of our home, a friend was talking to me and brought up that she didn’t trust Emma and worried that Emma might try to hurt me. She mentioned how she knew I liked to walk my dog at all hours, sometimes in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep, and she worried that Emma might run me over. At first, I laughed. At this time, I was living in the middle of downtown in a small town, a poor area, and since the road my house was on didn’t have a sidewalk, and I would have to walk on the edge of the road just on that particular street. I have to admit that I got a little paranoid for a bit there. I would walk quickly on my little street because there wasn’t much of a shoulder to get out of the way of oncoming cars, and I was a little more nervous at night when I couldn’t see who or what was approaching me with it’s headlights one. Overall, at first I thought my friend was being silly, but what she said still gave me pause.

Last week, I was having dinner with a friend whom I’d met probably right around the time Phill threw me out of our home, and she knows the whole story, but never had the honor of meeting Emma. Having known her share of crazy people though, she gets that Emma is my daughter, and I still love her even after all she’s done, but as we were talking, I said, “You know, this is the first time I’ve ever said this out loud, but I actually think I’m better off without her in my life. I’m safer, anyway.” and I told her about what my friend had said a few years before about how she was worried that Emma might try to hurt me. It’s sad, yes, and it’s strange to think about my daughter and be grateful she’s in Texas and not anywhere close by.

Hug your children and keep them safe.

That being said, if you’ve got an Emma story for me, I’ll buy you a pizza and a starbucks card! Lol.

 

HalloweenPublix2000

Happy Fall, Emma!

Emma’s Moral COMPASS

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her current husband, Tyler Buchheim live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, works for Southern Methodist University in Dallas, and   Emma works leasing swanky apartments in Frisco.   Emma and Tyler are the parents to two little dogs, Arya and Sansa.  (Emma is a huge Game of Thrones fan.)  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma’s Moral COMPASS  (Ok, so the title is a little play on words there.)

I recently, I had one of those Facebook “You Memories” come up from 2010, and here it is:

Emma compas

During this time, we were trying to figure out what we were doing with Emma and her education. She’d become a most uncooperative homeschooler. She hated Jackson County Comprehensive High School which she had started in 9th grade and then halfway through the year was vomiting and missing so much school that she had to finish 9th grade on line and then did 10th grade on line, and that seemed to make her even more isolated. It was during 10th grade that Emma made up the story about being molested by the priest. I think she was mostly on line chatting rather than doing school work, but in any event, on line school did not seem the right choice for a young lady who was already seemed to spend too much time alone. Emma was interested in going to college at Pensacola Christian College. She liked the idea of the strictness of it and how it promoted modesty and purity. Girls were not permitted to wear slacks, but had to wear dresses and stockings, and I think there was a rule about how boys and girls couldn’t walk together unless they were in a group. During this time, Emma was very paranoid about her “molester” seeking revenge or retribution on her, so she really liked the idea of a closed campus and felt she would be safe there. PCC sounded great on some levels, but I was concerned because it wasn’t an accredited school, so I was trying to talk to people and read about how this could affect Emma should we choose to send her there. I had a friend who’s daughter graduated there as a teacher, but could only teach in private schools, not public, and I didn’t like the idea of Emma being limited in her career should she go there. We also had some neighbors whose daughter went to PCC and found it too strict and confining.

I don’t remember how we started looking into Gwinnett Tech, but I think someone had suggested it. I did some research, and looked at their programs. At the time, Emma was interested in nursing, and she could have gone there and gotten a 2 year degree, although it probably would have taken 3 years, taken state boards, and earned her RN. Emma and I had a lot of conversations about this, and I remember us talking about travel nursing. I had told her it would be a way to see the country and being young and single, if that was what she thought she wanted, it would be a good time in her life to do that. She could use her dad and I as her home base and take assignments wherever she wanted to go. For a while, Emma was pretty interested in that idea. We decided, or I guess I decided, to let Emma take the COMPASS, the college placement test.

Of course, if you know the impulsive nature of teenagers, Emma was jumping on this idea of starting college at 16 and planning her future, while I was telling her to slow down and it was something we were looking into, but nothing was definite. Emma didn’t seem to hear me at all and was full steam ahead with her plans for college. I, on the other hand, was researching the pros and cons of starting college without ever obtaining a high school diploma. Should Emma get a GED? How do we make that jump from high school to college without a diploma. Would it hurt her in the future to not have graduated high school?

Another thing I was concerned about was throwing a 16 year old in with a bunch of 18 and older college students. This was all during the time that we believed Emma had been molested, before I started researching and discovering what a liar my daughter was about pretty much everything and everybody. We were still dealing with the make believe trauma of Emma’s supposed molestation, and I felt we needed to get through that before we threw her into the college setting.

Emma, who liked to say, “I have Google in my head.” was definitely a smart child, and I was so proud of her smarts. I knew, she could be whatever she wanted to be in life with that little brain of hers, but did she have the maturity needed for college? I’d known her dad when he was in college and he refused to put effort into classes that he thought were a waste of time, and thus he never finished college. What if Emma was the same way? How would Emma handle the drinking and partying crowd in college? I’d been hoping to see signs of maturity in Emma. I was hoping that she would show us that she could be responsible in other areas so that we could feel like she was responsible enough to get her driver’s license (although Phill still wanted her to wait until she was 18 to do that) and maybe get a part time job. Funny how Emma always made me out to be the mean (strict) mommy, but I was the one who wanted to see her get her driver’s license. I kept hoping she would show us she was mature enough to take on that privilege.

I talked to other home school moms, mother’s of college kids, teachers, and did a lot of reading on line. As usual, Phill said whatever I decided was fine. I talked to him about it, and tried to get his opinion, but he stayed out of it and was more interested in his RC groups and chatting on the computer and flying toy air planes. Finally, I just couldn’t seen Emma starting college at 16. It didn’t feel like the right decision. I felt like it would probably be better to get Emma back in public school and let her do joint or dual enrollment and take college classes while she finished high school. Emma was smart, but there’s a lot more to college than just smarts, and the two things that nagged at me were that fact that Emma would have no high school diploma, and I just wasn’t sure Emma was mature enough to start college full force.

Another reason I wanted Emma in high school was to give her more time around her peers before she started college. Yes, Emma was that Unsocialized homeschooler. Emma had had a pretty sheltered life, which can be good in some ways, and not so good in others. Homeschoolers typically are fairly good kids because mom and dad keep a pretty close eye on them and are usually involved in their kids lives. I worked for the arts program where Emma attended classes, and they kids were all pretty well behaved because if they weren’t, the program would ask them to leave. Public schools don’t have that option, and we’ve all heard the horrible stories of bullying, ostracizing, harassment and such that go on in public schools. As a mom who worked at the program, I was proud of the kids there. I saw a lot more tolerance and acceptance, and I thought it was because the kids were more individuals than the kids at public schools were. The kid who studied martial arts didn’t put down the kid who studied art. There were so many kids who were into so many different things.

The sheltered part of Emma’s upbringing that may have also been a negative was the fact that Emma wasn’t exposed to enough differences as far as race and religion. Phill and I were pretty much homebodies, and didn’t go out a lot, so Emma’s life consisted of her family, her homeschool groups, our church, and her various activities. In our homeschool groups, there were very few families of color, and the same for our church, although there were a few there as well. As a teen, Emma had all the answers and became rather prejudice and bigoted and Phill joked privately that Emma was “Right of right” and called her a mini-racist or a little racist (although he only said this to me, and not to Emma). I chalked it up to Emma’s limited worldliness, and figured she would outgrow her views. Emma had also decided that being gay was a choice and was wrong, and Emma was very judgmental on anyone who didn’t live up to her standards. Since Phill and I were pretty easy going about social issues, we talked openly with Emma about whatever she wanted to discuss, and we didn’t know where her strict black and white standards came from because we’d always been more “live and let live” kind of people. There was no grey with Emma. She had her opinions and beliefs and if we didn’t agree with her, we were wrong. You know how teenagers think mom and dad are stupid and they have all the answers? And then they grow up and realize they know a lot less than they thought they did and mom and dad actually had some wisdom (and life experience) and were a lot smarter than they thought. Well, that was what I was hoping to see in Emma one day. Still not there.

For the half year Emma attended public school she complained about the drugs, loose morals, all the pregnant girls, and the blacks and the Mexicans. According to Emma, the black kids got away with anything because the teachers were too afraid of being accused of racism to stand up to them, and every Mexican that Emma knew was poor and came from a family of 10 -14 kids. Emma complained about a Mexican kid that rode her school bus and lived in downtown Hoschton, in a dilapidated home with taped up windows. I asked her where the house was, and even drove around looking, but funny thing, I never found it.

When Emma complained about black kids at school, I tried to talk to her about cultural differences. Yes, inner city kids might be very different from Emma, but if she looked at the families at our church who were not white, they were just like us, living in middle class neighborhoods, going to school, playing sports, etc. If you remember from an earlier post, Emma claimed a black boy in her drama class had accused her of being a racist and of not liking black people. I doubt there was any truth to that story that this boy, out of the blue, accused Emma of not liking black people, and I’m sure it came out of Emma’s imagination, but Emma claimed to have told the boy that she preferred to judge people on the content of their character and not the color of their skin and then said that the boy didn’t even get that she was quoting Dr. Martin Luther King. (And as I said, I doubt there’s any truth to this story whatsoever, but it seems like the young man’s last name was Washington, so maybe we should look him up and see if he remembers.)

Emma didn’t like any of the girls on the drama crew because they were all lesbians, according to Emma.

While staying at a friend’s home who lived in a Mexican neighborhood, Emma claimed the Mexicans were shooting guns, in order to make it sound scary and to fulfill her role as victim, rather than tell the truth and admit they were shooting off fireworks on the holiday like we’d seen on so many other holidays when we’d been over at our friend’s house. What’s a teenager without a little drama?

SONY DSC

Emma  in the play Metamorphosis at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.  DRAMA!

Emma and I attended a ladies’ bible study, and there were a couple of women who had daughters or their son’s girlfriends who got pregnant. I know in two cases that I remember, the young women didn’t attend the group, but we heard all bout what was going on from the grandmothers-to be. Then, there was the daughter of one of the women, a few years older than Emma, who started coming to our group, and was pregnant. Emma was very judgmental, and it didn’t help that the young lady’s baby daddy was Mexican and I think was married, but in any event already had two or three other children. When our group leader mentioned we could have a shower for this young lady, everyone jumped on the idea to celebrate this little baby, that is, everyone except Emma. Later, when Emma and I were alone, she complained about how we were rewarding this young lady for doing something wrong. I tried to talk to Emma about how this young lady was in for a difficult life as a single mom, and she needed our love and support. I told her how fortunate this mom-to-be was to have two loving parents who were there to help take care of her baby, and since Emma was so staunchly ProLife, we needed to support this girl who could have taken the easy way out and chosen to have an abortion. In Emma’s mind, this young woman did not live up to her high standards. Emma kind of missed the part in church about how as Christians, we are all sinners. Emma’s own sins weren’t near as bad as someone who had sex before marriage and had a mixed race baby. Sadly, I don’t think “humble” is in Emma’s vocabulary. I remember when all the craziness started, and an adult friend who knew Emma some, but not well, told me she always felt that Emma considered herself superior to everyone else. Well, as a mom, of course, it breaks your heart to have someone think that about your child, but believe it or not, I tried to teach Emma to be kind to other people.

I would like to say that Emma changed after that beautiful baby boy was born, and his mother and grandmother brought him to our bible study. Emma usually liked little kids, but she had no interest in him, which was fine because the rest of us wanted to hold him and pass him around. Once you earned a place on Emma’s naughty list, I don’t think it’s easy to get off it.

So, you can see from the above why I thought maybe Emma had been a little too sheltered. I had hoped going to public school and maybe attending college at the same time might be good for Emma. Having grown up in a military family, I had a hard time understanding Emma’s prejudice and bigotry. When my family was overseas, we were just glad to meet kids who spoke English. We didn’t care what color they were!

Did I think Emma was ready for college? Academically, I think she might have been fine, but I thought Emma needed to grow up a little more before she started college. I just didn’t think she was mature enough. Well, you can imagine how this situation went over—————like a ton of bricks. Once again, I was the evil mommy who hated her, didn’t want her to be happy. The only reason she wasn’t starting college at 16 was because her mommy was MEAN! Story of my life. Emma had no idea how agonizing this decision was for me and how much time I put in to making it. Had Emma done things like her chores without having to be told over and over again, or picking up her room without being told, had she been a little more responsible, I might have felt differently.

I have often wondered if Emma’s views on social issues (blacks, gays, lesbians, Mexicans…..) have changed. Did going to college (all 4 of them), living in Ohio with in-laws who are political opposites to Emma and living in California, and Texas change Emma’s feelings about people that are different from her? Hopefully, she had some exposure to other cultures and her world got a little bigger She was a know it all teen, but I’m hoping at 24 ½ years now, and with a little more life experience, that she’s realizing people are people and cute babies are cute babies, and we don’t care what color they are or if their mom’s were married when they had them.

Emma and the Roy Moore Effect Part 2 , Person of the Year (Update 12/12/17)

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, who has put architecture on hold, is studying to be a Full Stack Developer at the Flatiron School in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis (according to Tyler).  Emma works in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area as an insurance underwriter.   Emma and Tyler are the parents to two little dogs, Arya and Sansa.  (Emma is a huge Game of Thrones fan.)  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Emma and the Roy Moore Effect

EmmaTimeMag

#metoo, Emma Katherine Roey Buchheim

 

Ok, when I heard about Time magazine’s Person of the year, The Silence Breakers, my first thought was, Emma made it to Time magazine’s person of the year! I have to admit, I wanted to remove one of the faces and paste Emma’s into it, but as we all know, my computer skills are very limited. I did find some Time templates, but when I tried to load Emma’s picture, the magazine didn’t show up, so some of you saw my earlier post, and now, thanks to a reader, I have what I wanted.  (I love it!The matching coat is a great touch!)  For those of you that missed it, this was the best I could do:

Time 2017metoo

 

Emma Buchheim, Emma Katherine Buchheim, Emma Kate Buchheim

I’m sure if I search the internet or look at some youtube videos, I can learn how to use a template, and I’m thinking of taking some digital photography and digital darkroom classes in the future. But anyway, those were my humorous thoughts upon hearing about the magazine. At least it wasn’t Colin Kaepernik, who, along with a few other celebs like the K family, I am totally tired of! (And I only get about 3 tv channels. Can you imagine how tired of stuff I would be if I actually watched tv?)

As a woman who has faced my share of some man’s “sexual misconduct”  along with almost every other woman I know, I used to be one of those people who thought “believe now and find out the facts later”, or in the case of children,”A child wouldn’t make that up!” I’ve known plenty of women who felt powerless to do something about the predator who crossed their path whether it was a family friend or relative, a teacher, a minister, a stepfather, a classmate in college, a boss or coworker, or whatever. I despise these people, and the prison sentence for the ones that actually do get prosecuted can never be long enough. Of the women I know who have been victims, this covers all ages from childhood to teens to college age, to adults.   It is all horrible, but I am especially sickened by those who prey on children, the weakest among us.   Personally, I also don’t believe there is rehab for pedophiles. When they get out, they will strike again. Period.

It’s about time sexual harassment is taken seriously. It’s been a well known secret in so many instances, for many years. As some of these high profile people were starting to fall, I was chatting with some coworkers and said, “I wonder how many of these men in high power positions are shaking in their boots right now.”  The next day, we heard about Matt Lauer.

Then again, as the mother of a well established liar, for the record I will say that I do not believe my daughter was ever sexually molested by a priest, so what about the falsely accused? What about those people, usually men, who are the hated accused, but then turn out to actually be the victims?  It’s like they belong to a secret club. I have known a few of these victims, and it’s not something they go around advertising. I remember talking to a man a few years ago who told me about his divorce, and how his daughter had accused him. Later it was all dropped and he was cleared when dear daughter admitted she’d made it all up, but she put her dad through months of hell and then was like, “Okay dad, forget it, but could you still pay my tuition?”

In Emma’s case, the priest she accused was retired, so it didn’t affect his livelihood, but for some people, it can be financially devastating. A few years ago, I witnessed another person who was falsely accused. This man wasn’t someone I worked with directly, and I’m not going to share the intimate details except to say that the company immediately fired him, and later a grand jury refused to indict him. Because several of my coworkers and I came in close contact with his accuser, we were all adamantly sure the allegations were false being as the accuser had a history of drug use, some psych issues, some mug shots along the way, and had pulled a similar stunt somewhere else where fortunately there were cameras to counter the accusations. And those were only a few of the things we knew of. Imagine what we didn’t know!  I’m sure if someone investigated a little deeper, there was probably much, much more.

An award winning employee lost his job and was facing a long term prison sentence if convicted. Can you imagine doing your job and all of a sudden, out of the blue, the police show up to arrest you and accuse you of a sexual crime? It was absolutely horrifying. My coworkers and I discussed how we understood that a company would have to fire you to protect it’s customers because what if you’d done what you were accused of and were still allowed to work? It could happen again. Then again, we live in a country where you are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, but how does that work? This man lost his livelihood until the charges against him were dropped. Can you imagine the nightmare his life must have been until the truth came out about the (in my opinion) piece of trash who accused him? What about the expense of lawyers and everything else?

If you ask anyone about the incident now, it seems like the first thing people say is, “That man’s life was ruined.” I assume he could have gotten his job back, but would most people want to go to work and face everyone who knew what he had been accused of. Even though no one believed the accuser, it was still a horrible and embarrassing situation.

I haven’t kept up with this man, but because of what Emma put me through, I can understand a lot of what he went through, and I hope he has a great job and is doing something he loves now.

I’m sure in Emma’s case, she didn’t think about what she was doing by accusing a priest of sexually molesting her. She was a dumb teenager and was probably acting impulsively. I don’t think she thought through what she was doing, but like everyone else around her, I went into that “She wouldn’t make this up.” mode. When it’s a child, everything stops and everyone bows down to the child. For an attention seeker, this would be exactly what a child like Emma would want. All of a sudden she is the center of attention in a very serious drama.  She was the star of the show! (There’s a reason Phill always called her a drama queen.) Emma got what she wanted, but whether it’s part of a sociopathic personality or just being a immature teen, Emma did not stop to think or care about the pain her actions would cause the man she accused. Is she going to repay his legal fees? Apologize for making up the molestation story? In this case, this man was a father and grandfather, so you can imagine the humiliation and embarrassment. Does Emma have any clue as to how much she hurt this man and his family?  I am ashamed for the pain we caused this man and his family, and I am ashamed of Emma for lying about being a victim when she wasn’t.  Because so many women and children are victims of these predators, I’m ashamed to be the  mother of the little girl who cried wolf, and it bothers me that someone may be afraid to tell their story because they know there are liars like Emma who hurt the cause.  Emma Tawana Brawley.  (Emma’ that’s way before your time, but you can look it up.)

I do hope one day that Emma will explain to us the motives for her falsely accusing the priest of sexual molestation. She was bored and needed attention, so was that the reason for all the stories? Since the priest was running for office and happened to be a democrat, was that the reason Emma went after this man. Emma’s story has similarities to the Roy Moore story in that she made her accusation before an election. And, when I told my sister about Emma’s accusation, Emma was FURIOUS with me for telling my sister, but later when she spoke to my sister, one of the first things she said to my sister was that the priest was a democrat. What Emma trying to have an effect on a local election by her accusation? In Emma’s case, she accused a politician shortly before an election, just like in Roy Moore’s case, but with Emma, the priest dropped out temporarily and then got back into the race. As we’ve seen in the news lately, some politicians are resigning after admitting they acted wrongly, but in Roy Moore’s case, he denies the allegations and has not dropped out of his race. Personally, I think that is the proper course of action. After all, he is innocent until proven guilty, right? There’s already some fishy things going on with a tampered with signature in a yearbook and the fact that the accuser won’t turn over the yearbook for handwriting analysis.

So yes, I am glad to see victims speaking out and I’m curious as to why it has taken the media so long to address this issue.  Some of us are old enough to remember the 90’s when accusers were being swept under the rug by the media, and some people say that the #metoo movement fits a political narrative now, so that’s why the media is finally all over this issue, but at least it is being addressed now. One day, I hope the media will address the falsely accused as well. I no longer believe every story of “sexual misconduct” I hear, nor do I believe every story of child abuse that I hear. I have learned that we need to stop and look at the situation first instead of everyone jumping to the whims of a so-called sympathetic victim because there a few of them, like my daughter, who made it up.

Emma’s Cards

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, who has put architecture on hold, is studying to be a Full Stack Developer at the Flatiron School in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis (according to Tyler).  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

The other day, in the news, I heard a very sad story about a little boy named Jacob who is dying and will not live to see Christmas this year, and since he loves Christmas so much, his family is having Christmas early for him. They requested that Christmas cards be sent to the young man, especially homemade cards, because he loves homemade cards, and it reminded me of Emma and her card making.

I don’t remember how old Emma was when I took her to an Iris Folding class at Michael’s, where Emma learned how to make iris folded greeting cards, but Emma really took to it, so of course, we ended up buying her all kinds of supplies and papers for her hobby. It was fun seeing her excited about making cards. The iris folded cards are quite pretty, and I think most people appreciate the effort that goes into making something handmade like that. I remember as a child, how we made our parents birthday cards, usually just some drawing and we’d try to write something funny in them, especially for our dad. Once when I was maybe 10, I remember our dad taking his birthday cards to the office for display and how he commented on one of his coworkers who mentioned that since his kids were older, he really missed the handmade cards they used to make him when they were younger.

iriscard1

I heard that Emma got a Cricut, and I don’t know much about them except that they do some fancy paper cutting, so I’d imagine that Emma’s handmade cards got even more interesting with her new gadget.

Another thing Emma and I did was to get involved in the Adopt a Platoon program, where you are given a soldier to write to and send gifts to while they are overseas. Coming from a military family, this was near and dear to my heart, and Emma really got into supporting our military and enjoyed writing letters and making cards for our adopted soldiers. We would go shopping and pick out treats and anything we heard our soldier might need such as soap, razors, deodorant, lip balm, sunscreen, socks, etc. Of course, Emma with her terrible sweet tooth, and being somewhat of a sneak, I remember packing a box for our soldier and not being able to find some of the candy we’d gotten to go in the box. Sure enough, Emma had stolen it and I found the empty package in her bedroom closet. She didn’t even try to hide the evidence. I was disappointed in Emma because we had bought these things specifically for our soldier, and it’s not like we didn’t have sweets in the house, but that was Emma. If she wanted something, she took it. I guess that’s part of the entitlement generation. I wanted to believe this was Emma just being a kid, but I think it is something in Emma that just is. Emma never cared about punishment or consequences, so she did what she wanted. I’m sure she still does.

Adopt a Platoon put out these coin/medallions, and I bought one and wire wrapped it for Emma so she could wear it as a necklace. I doubt she still has it because I’m sure Emma doesn’t want anything her dear, abusive mother gave to her. Even with Emma’s lying, sneaky behavior, I was proud of the effort she put into writing letters and making cards for our soldiers.  I never read Emma’s letters to our soldiers, unless she handed me one and wanted me to see it.  I wonder now if I should have.  Looking back at all the BS Emma put in her letters to “Lacey” and finding all the lies Emma told about other people, like her BFF, Kayla Benifield Weaver, who’s grandparents Emma claimed to be white supremacists, and who’s mother and step-father Emma claimed to be drunks.  I can only imagine what kind of things Emma put in those letters to our soldiers if she would tell such bold lies about her “friends.”  Well, I can hope, whatever crazy things Emma might have said have long been forgotten by our military.

aap

If you remember, Emma and I spent an afternoon where she taught me how to do the iris folding, and I thought we had such a lovely afternoon, where she got to be the teacher and I the student, and then I found Emma’s letter to “Lacey” complaining about my crippling arthritis and how she had to do everything for me, and how slow I was, because of my arthritis and how Emma could do things 10x faster and how her poor crippled mother wasted so much of Emma’s materials because I invariably ruin my projects because I don’t do things they way Emma advises me to, and then call her a smartass for instructing me! Oh my! Would you, dear readers, believe that I have actually been able to hold down a job since my divorce. It’s amazing what I can do with this (wink, wink) horrible arthritis that Emma claimed I had. So glad I didn’t have to go on disability!

Emma is sure a great story teller. Of course, Emma hasn’t told me any of her stories in the past several years, but if you are a regular reader, you know there are some doozies. I can imagine what Tyler, my dear son-in-law must hear everyday!

So, anyway, I was thinking of Emma, in her sweeter moments, and her card making, and since Emma reads the blog, I wanted to suggest that she make a card for Jacob. If we had a normal mother/daughter relationship, I would call or text Emma and tell her about the story, or maybe send her a link, but since Emma’s done what she’s done, I’m not going to contact her other than through the blog, so Emma, here’s a link to the story about Jacob:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/03/health/cancer-patient-christmas-trnd/index.html

and if you want to send him a card, here is the address:

Jacob Thompson

c/o Maine Medical Center

22 Bramhall Street

Portland, ME 04102

 

The Good Architect

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, who has put architecture on hold, is studying to be a Full Stack Developer at the Flatiron School in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis (according to Tyler).  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

 

The Good Architect

So, Emma, this is for you, as I know Tyler doesn’t read the blog. I was looking at Tyler’s blog on line, tyler-buchheim.com but just skimmed it. I’ll go back and read it later. You know I’m not very high tech, so I’m sure I’m not going to get most of it. In fact, a friend just gave me a blue tooth because this computer Daddy got me when he threw me out of our home is not very loud, and I bought some ear buds, but I don’t like being tied to the computer. Well, I’m sure it will come as no surprise to you that I can’t figure out how to use the darn things. I did some updates and such and still no luck, but I did manage to get it working with my phone, and I just watched a couple of episodes of The Good Doctor on my phone over the past two days, after a client at work was telling me about the program. (More on that later.)

From what I read, Tyler’s dreams of becoming an architect changed to dreams of becoming a software developer. I’m sure the two areas can have a lot of overlap, and maybe Tyler will be developing software for architects or something. You all are young, so I think that’s great.  You all should try a lot of things before you get tied down with a mortgage and children.   As you know after selling insurance, you spend a lot of time at work, so hopefully you find something you like doing.

I was thinking how Tyler must be Daddy’s dream son-in-law. Another geek in the family! (I mean that as a compliment.) Someone Daddy can talk all technical with, and Tyler probably understands all the geek-speak! Did you know at one time, Daddy wanted to be a computer programmer? I know you saw that game Daddy wrote for Atari magazine. It was called Cosmic Defender, and it wouldn’t be impressive now, but back then, that Daddy could create that and bring it to life was a pretty big deal.

In 1988, your daddy turned 30 years old. For his 30th birthday he wanted to buy a computer and they were awfully expensive. What he wanted was $1500, a LOT of money for us at that time. It doesn’t sound like much to you because I know you’re used to buying iphones and such, but I was in school, so we were paying for college, and we had a mortgage, and we were pretty strapped all the time. With the rate of inflation, that would be like Tyler wanting to go out and spend $3,138.00 on his birthday today. Maybe you can relate to that figure a little better.

Daddy had decided his dream was to be a computer programmer, and he would buy these huge, thick, computer books on languages, and he subscribed to several computer magazines. Of course if that was Daddy’s dream, I wasn’t going to say no. I wanted to support him if that was what he wanted to do, so Daddy went out and bought a $1500 Atari computer, and I don’t have to tell you the ending to that. Daddy never left UPS and never became a programmer, and in fact, he never did any computer programming after he created Cosmic Defender, but that was ok. It was something he wanted to try. Investing in Atari might have been a mistake too because I don’t think they are even around anymore, but that was the computer Daddy wanted at the time.

Remember how jealous you were when Daddy wanted to buy me that craft cabinet for my birthday. You thought it was too expensive and I didn’t need it, but since I was turning 50, daddy wanted to get me something special that I really wanted, and later you saw how much I loved that cabinet and how I was able to organize my supplies so easily. Daddy was supporting my hobby and getting me something I really wanted, and hopefully you are supporting Tyler in his effort to be a full stack developer. And if Tyler doesn’t become a software developer and goes on to something else, then that’s ok too. You all have plenty of time.

Around the time you were born, Daddy got into woodworking and wanted to buy all these saws and such. That didn’t go very far either. He made a pull toy, and that wooden coat rack that hangs on the wall by the garage door, and he started on that rocking coyote that sat out in the fort in your swing set and never got finishes. Oh, well. At one time, I wanted to make teddy bears and bought a few books and made a few and quit. And when I went back to college, I was so afraid I couldn’t do it because I was never smart like you and Daddy. I like to say I worked hard for every B and C I ever got. I did get a few A’s too, but not like you, dear daughter. I was a very average student. Anyway, I was terrified about going back to college and thought, “What if I can’t do it and I quit?” and your dad said one of the best things he could have said. He told me that an education was never a waste, and if I took some classes and quit then it was ok because I still would have learned something.

So anyway, I hope Tyler is enjoying school, and it will be interesting to see where you all end up after this. I have no idea what you’re doing, Emma. Are you working for Amica in TX now or doing something completely different? I could picture you in sales. You have the outgoing personality for it. I think you would do well there, but you are smart enough to do well in whatever you choose. Recently, I met a young woman, I think a year younger than you, and she will be going to medical school next year. She has applied to 11 schools and has been accepted to 8 so far, so she must be an exceptional student. They weren’t little Podunk schools either, I know one of them was Harvard. Anyway, of course she made me think of you, and it was just fun seeing her, so young and excited about her future. She admitted it was a lot of hard work, but she thought it was worth it.

That brings me to the Good Doctor. I’d seen scenes for the show, and thought it looked good, but didn’t pay any attention to when it was on. When this man told me that it came on at 10, I told him I’m usually going to bed about then! I asked him if he liked it, and he really did, so thank goodness for internet and I can go back and watch it on line!

The main character is a high functioning autistic young man named Dr. Shaun Murphy. I don’t know anything about the actor who plays Shaun, and I don’t know too much about my son-in-law, Tyler Buchheim, but I got a kick out off noticing the resemblance between the two. Granted, I’ve never met Tyler, so I’m going only on photos I’ve seen, but I thought it was cute. And the show, by the way, is really good. I’ve only seen two episodes, but I like it!

The Good Architect VS. The Good Doctor

The Good Architect

 

and The Good Doctor

 

P.S.  Emma, tell Tyler I’m sorry/not sorry about the Georgia/Notre Dame game.  I was thinking of you all and wondering if you all were there or if maybe Sherry and Bob Buchheim went to the game.  I actually was watching that game, even though it was past my bedtime.  I have way too many friends and coworkers who are UGA fans, so even though I don’t have cable or dish, I’ve kept up with the Dawgs and have even seen some of the games!  I’ve even met some of the players!  I guess we are a house divided!  Praying for you both everyday!  Love, Mom

Transformed, Part 2

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My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma sells insurance.  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

EmmaKr

Emma Kate Buchheim

Transformed Part 2

My Thoughts on Emma’s Marriage

This post is going to come across as a little harsh on Emma, but rest assured, I still love my daughter, I just call ’em like I see ’em. I would like to put on rose colored glasses and write something completely different, but this is how I feel.

Several people have asked me about what I think about Emma’s marriage to Tyler Buchheim with her behavioral problems, personality disorder, mental illness, or whatever you want to call it. Do I think Emma loves Tyler, or was he a means to an end? Can Emma have a successful marriage?

Ok, well you all know I have never met my son-in-law, Tyler Albert Buchheim. I did get one email from him, claiming to have broken up with Emma, and I have exchanged a few emails with Tyler’s mother, Sherry Knopp Buchheim, but basically everything I know about Tyler, I’ve heard from others.

Tyler sounds like a lovely young man, from what I’ve heard. Obviously he’s very intelligent and a graduate of the University of Notre Dame with a degree in architecture. He did an internship with, I think it was, Thayer Hopkins Architects in Petaluma, CA and Emma went out there to be with him, and now they live and work full time out there, with Tyler working in Architecture and Emma selling insurance in Santa Rosa(subject to change, I’m sure.) My daughter is a Cali girl, but I’m sure she loves playing the southern belle in a Cali world!

From Tyler’s description, he’s obviously a very bright, hard working young man, and hopefully not lacking in the common sense department, like Emma’s dad, who bragged on being eligible for MENSA but always lacked a little common sense. (Not trying to dig into Phill’s faults because we all have them, but just mentioning how he was. Smart as he was, he often lacked common sense, but I loved him just the way he was. Those little goofs just made him Phill.)

If Emma wants to, she can be absolutely charming, loving, generous, and make you feel like the center of the world. If she is not interested in you, you are pretty much dead to her and can barely get a hello out of her. She will ignore you to the point of being blatantly rude. I can’t count the number of times Emma thought someone slighted her and wouldn’t have anything to do with them, and then we would run into the person, and Emma would embarrass me with her rudeness. I tried to instill in her that she didn’t have to like everyone, but she did have to be polite to people. I failed miserably at that lesson. If we ran into someone Emma didn’t like, she would clam up to the point of being rude, or simply walk away,  and I would try to compensate by conversing and taking the focus off my rude daughter, or keeping it short and making a quick getaway. That was just how she was. I hoped she would out grow it, but she didn’t. She may be a better actress now, just out of necessity, and she may be able to hide her feelings a little better.

Do I think Emma was in a rush to marry Tyler? Yes, I think she probably was. Emma was so anxious to prove she was an adult. As a 16 year old, she was researching becoming an emancipated minor, but to go down that road would have been too much work. She would have had to get a job and support herself, and she wasn’t ready to do that. What better way than getting married to prove she’s a grown up. Then there’s the whole sex thing too, but I don’t really want to get into that other than to say Emma was very proud of her purity and claimed she would not have sex before marriage, so if she abstained, that would have pushed her to rush into getting married at rather a young age as well (21).

So, yes, I do think Emma was anxious to get married. Was it because she loved Tyler? I don’t really know. I tend to think Emma’s reasoning was because she had something to prove and not because she of love. As much as I hate to say it, I’m not sure Emma has it in her to love anyone. She can make you feel loved, but that is very different. If Emma has a goal, and wants to manipulate you, she can throw on the charm and make you feel so special and important to her. I wish I could say that Emma knows what love feels like, but as the one who knew her best for 17 years, I’m just not sure. For Emma, love may just be another means to an end.

When I’ve heard people like Bill Clinton discussed as a rapist and Ted Bundy as a murderer, and have heard these men described as so charming, persuasive, educated, intelligent, etc., and then they committed (allegedly or otherwise) these horrible acts, I can see Emma in a similar way. No, I don’t think Emma’s going to go out and become a serial killer, but I do believe nothing will stop Emma from getting what she wants. Some time back, I had a conversation with a young man who told me he suspected he was a lot like Emma and offered to speak to me to give me some insight into what might be going on in Emma’s mind. One of the things I asked him was if he would break the law to get what he wanted, and he felt surely that he would if the laws were in the way of him getting what he wanted and laws were the same as rules in the home, which just meant, “don’t get caught.” As I’ve mentioned before, this is a perfect description of Emma. Rules did not apply to Emma and she didn’t care what the punishment was if she got what she wanted. According to Emma, she was punished because we hated her, not because she broke the rules.

Do I think Emma can have a successful marriage? No, not really. I wish I could say that I thought Emma and Tyler would have a long and happy marriage, but in all honesty, I don’t think so. Emma can charm, lie, manipulate for only so long, and I think sooner or later, Tyler will catch on. Now maybe the boy could be dense as a box of rocks in the common sense department, and let Emma run the show, and also, Emma described her father-in-law as a “wimp” and claimed that both Bob and Tyler Buchheim were under Sherry’s thumb (Bob’s wife, Tyler’s mother.) and that Tyler didn’t do anything with out the ok from his mom, so if that’s the case, maybe Tyler needed another “mommy” and Emma is stepping in to that role. In that case, they could have a long, happy, co-dependent relationship, but from what I’ve heard, that was Emma putting her dramatic spin on things, and neither Tyler nor Bob Buchheim are the “wimps” that Emma claimed them to be.

I can’t say I’m optimistic about Emma’s marriage. I would like to think there’s a glimmer of hope that she will grow up and drop the teen angst and quit blaming everyone for any perceived slight or any problem she may have, but I’m afraid there’s a lot of heartache in store for anyone who lets Emma into their heart. We shall see. In any event, it will be an interesting journey.

people used

Denial Dad! And What’s Your Superpower?

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Denial Dad! And What’s Your Superpower?

A lot of people have asked me over the past few years, “What happened to Phill?” “What is wrong with Phill?” and many more questions along those lines. Well, Phill is really the only one who can answer that, but I can give you my perspective after being married to the man for 26+ years. Phill was a good person, and I never thought in a million years he would do some of the things he did, and I surely thought, after realizing his mistake, Phill would take the appropriate action. But, like a lot of men, Phill has a lot of trouble admitting he’s wrong, and let’s face it, accusing your wife of abusing your daughter and destroying your marriage because of it is one heck of a mistake to make.

I wanted to share what it it like to deal with Phill through some recent e-mails. A while back, Phill and I were texting and when I brought up a subject Phill was uncomfortable with, he threatened to block me, which I’m assuming he did. I haven’t tried to text him in a while, so I don’t know for sure. At the time, I assumed he blocked me from his e-mails as well.

Recently, I misplaced a check and forgot all about cashing it. At the same time, a friend and I’d been talking about how I used to do some beadwork (you can see it on my facebook page, and if your are interested, just e-mail me and I’ll send you the album links), and I sort of wished I had my old desk and maybe I’d take up my old hobby again. I told her that I’d asked Phill two or three years ago for my desk, but he just ignored me. She told me to ask him for it, and knowing about Phill’s difficulty with facing his wife, suggested that she could go over and pick up my desk for me. I’d already told Phill that he could have all my stuff, and if you’re curious about that part of the story, just do a search for Bradley D. Moody, and you can read all about Phill and how he came to keep all my things.

So anyway, back to my story, I came home and thought why not e-mail and ask for my desk, a birthday gift Phill got me from IKEA, but since Phill had probably blocked me, I was going to e-mail his newest attorney, Bradley D. Moody, Attorney at Law with Lee Sexton and Associates in Stockbridge, Ga.? And since Bradley D. Moody, son-in-law of Matt Klos, husband of Jessie Klos Moody, father to little Ella Moody, always uses his Bar# when he signs his correspondences, I was going to be sure to include Bar#655693.

20130430_157

This picture of Rob, one of the kids from Emma’s youth group, but you can see part of the IKEA desk in the background.  It had some nice shelves.

I came home and got on the computer, and surprise, surprise, there, out of the blue, was an e-mail from my husband! It read as follows:

10/28/16

I reissued a check you didn’t cash back in July, it should be there in a few days. They’re only good for 90 days so it was automatically voided.

I never blocked my email so you don’t have to get creative if you need to get in touch.

Phill

So I responded:

Wow. Your ears must be burning. I was just about to email your “attorney” Bradley D. Moody, attorney at law #655693 to get in touch with you.

A while ago, I asked for the desk that you got me for my birthday from IKEA, and you never brought it. Can I send a “third party” to pick it up?

Oh, and since I have you, a friend re-did my computer with Windows 10, etc., but I lost my snip tool. (This has quite a learning curve, for me anyway.) Can you tell me the name of that program we had. I can’t seem to find it.

My best to Emma.

So…………….after all this time of no correspondence whatsoever from my dear husband, I get yet another e-mail the same day:

If you click on the Cortana button just to the right of the start(windows) button and start typing “snipping” the tool will show up.

http://www.techsupportalert.com/content/screenshot-captor.htm-1

The one we used to use is gone.

As to the desk, you have lost the rights to the items you didn’t pick up. I tried for years to get you to get the items in the settlement

Phill

Wow, what authority! He certainly told me, didn’t he! It’s a shame he never took that tone with Emma, or she might not have the problems she does. (Well, yeah, she probably would, I think she was born with some personality disorders and such, but we just didn’t figure it out.)

Ok, and so some of you reading this blog know me, and know I can be a very patient person when I need to be, but sometimes, just sometimes, I have a low tolerance for idiots, so I couldn’t resist getting a little bit snarky:

Okay, but would you please send me the copy of the Toxicology report that Emma claims to have showing that I poisoned her with DDT? My lawyer is still waiting on that.

Did you ever talk to Father T. about all those times Emma babysat his boys? And the time she had the called 911 because son #1 got so out of hand?

Lie after lie. What happens when you finally accept the truth in real life How badly you betrayed your wife? Don’t bother to answer. I won’t bother you again. I’ll go through your attorney for anything else.

Love, wifey number one. My best to Kim. (Kim Chassion, aka Mrs. Roey 2.0)

And if you’re new to the blog, let me just mention that yes, Emma was going around telling people I poisoned her with DDT, and Emma never babysat our priest’s sons, but knew the parents had to call 911 when their bipolar son got out of control one night, so she went around telling people that SHE had to call 911 one night when SHE was babysitting the boys. Funny thing is, Emma NEVER babysat those boys.

So once again, the threat:

I will answer emails regarding alimony and the property settlement. I also don’t mind tech support questions.

I will not respond to anything having to do with the grounds leading to the divorce. I warned you I’d block phone and text if you continued to harangue me and you chose to push it so I blocked you. If you do the same on email I’ll block that too, leaving only US mail. I’d prefer not to do that.

Phill

Poor Phill! Harangued! Threatening to block me again! Oh, my stars, what will I do? (I swear folks, he was not this stupid when I was married to him.) I brought up a subject that Phill can’t deal with, so he has to threaten to block me again. Horrors!  Funny, it was some SEFF folks who told me about Emma going around saying I poisoned her with DDT and she had the toxicology report to prove it, but my poor little snowflake of a husband can’t deal with that, so we are not allowed to discuss it.  Nope, can’t even bring it up.  Phill won’t explain Emma’s actions because he can’t, and he can’t face the truth, so let’s just not talk about it.  Now, that’s a real tough man right there, isn’t he?

At this point, I figured I’d just let Phill retreat to his “Safe Space” and get some counseling, some warm milk, and maybe a therapy dog. I didn’t want to stress the poor boy out any more than I already had. After all, if he can’t handle an e-mail and has to threaten to block me, he must really be upset. Poor baby. (I swear folks, he wasn’t this much of a wimp when I was married to him.) I didn’t e-mail Phill and further and decided if I needed to talk to him, I’d just do it through the blog or through his latest attorney, Bradley D. Moody, Attorney at Law, Bar #655693, the associate part of Lee Sexton and Associates of Stockbridge, Ga., son-in-law of Phill’s RC buddy, Matt Klos (Events Director of SEFF), wife of Jessie Klos Moody, father to Ella Moody, and as for computer help, I won’t bother the poor boy with that either, though I always need the help, but thankfully, I have other friends who are computer literate, as I am not!  (Usually, when I asked Phill to teach me something on the computer, he told me not to worry about it because he’d always be there to do it for me.)

This blog is really about Emma, and I’m not going to talk too much about Phill, or at least not now, other than how he relates to the story of Emma. We were married for 26 years, and up until Emma accused me (the 2nd time) of abuse, I thought we were happy. Phill always claimed to be happy, talked about retirement, and us doing things together after Emma was gone, etc. and was proud of our long marriage right up until he decided to have a midlife crisis in the middle of all Emma’s problems. I was totally blindsided by what my husband did and one day, I hope he’ll have the guts to explain to me what in the world he was thinking, but right now, he can’t face me (I am that scary!), or I guess to put it more clearly, he can’t face what he did, so the easiest way for him to deal with that is to not to have to face me, hence that’s why he wanted me to send a 3rd party to pick up my things at our home………………… I mean, I get the whole midlife crisis thing. I’ve known several women who’ve been through the same thing. There is always someone younger, cuter, slimmer, different issues, someone who hasn’t heard your same jokes and stories 1000 times, a bottle blonde as opposed to your salt and pepper haired wife…………. (funny thing is, Phill hated me coloring my hair and wanted me to let it go natural, and then he takes up with a bottle blonde?) But the Phill I was married to would not have let Emma go on with her lies. The Phill I was married to considered himself a secular humanist, a good person, and he would have not let an innocent person be falsely accused by his daughter, but now he’s done it with both the priest and with me. And for many other lie’s Emma’s told, Phill just makes excuses for her.  When Emma claimed the girl down the street had an abortion and she might be pregnant again, I later investigated and this girl told me none of it was true.  Instead of asking Emma about her lies, Phill chose to believe the girl told Emma these things to sound cool.  Emma couldn’t have possible made them up.  Somebody get the man a cape for Christmas!

I hope Phill survives this midlife personality shift he’s going through with a clear conscience. The man I was married to would have stood up and would have been a man, and would have done what’s right, but I don’t even know who this new Phill is.  I don’t think he does either.

And, BTW, Phill was wrong about the snip tool, I was able to get the exact one I had, which is great because I am a creature of habit and wanted to stick with the one I know.

As for the desk, that’s ok, Phill. I have new hobbies now and I’ll probably end up giving all my beading stuff away. I like to write now, and I still have a lot of Emma’s story to tell.