Temporary Protective Order, Last Page!

Posted on August 17, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story.Please contact me if you have any questions. e-mail: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma and Kayla Benified Weaver when Kayla's grandparents (the grandfather Emma claimed was a racist as well as a Nazi Sympathizer) took the girls to Medieval Times.

Emma and Kayla Benified Weaver when Kayla’s grandparents (the grandfather Emma claimed was a Nazi Sympathizer) took the girls to Medieval Times.

This is the last page of the Temporary Protective Order. I don’t really know how things are done, but since the notary, Karen M. Stroly, appears to be a paralegal for the office of Phill’s attorney, I’m assuming you document the TPO with a notary and then take it to the court house to file. Karen M. Stroly notarized the TPO on April 5th, a Tuesday, when I was still in North Carolina, and then Phill took it to the courthouse on April 7th when he told me he was taking Emma to the home of our friends Ann and Jack Verner in Chamblee, Ga., about 50 or so minutes away from our home in Hoschton.

Sort of a side note, I had asked Phill to pick me up a couple of pairs of jeans when he went to Costco or Sams, because he stopped at those stores at least once a week. I’d loss some weight from the stress of the whole situation, and my jeans were too big. Phill brought home 4 pairs of jeans, and I tried them all on. Usually, in a case like this, I’d pick what I like, or something wouldn’t fit, and I’d keep what I wanted. Well, all the jeans fit very well, but I felt like I only needed a couple of pairs, so I put two pair on the dining room table and told Phill he could return them when he went back. He kept telling me to keep them, but I felt like when things calmed down, I’d probably put the weight back on, so it seemed silly to me. I guess since Phill was planning on throwing me out of my home, the least he could do was buy me some jeans. (But I left the two pairs there when I left my home.)

I do want to write more about the TPO and about how Phill showed up WITH Emma when I was volunteering and asked another volunteer to send me out to talk to them. I have to admit, when I found out about the all the lies that Emma told about “Lacey” and how she wasn’t raped and had never attempted suicide, and how her mother was never dying of breast cancer, and how Emma never called 911 on a boy she never babysat, and how the girl down the street was not pregnant and did not have an abortion, and how she was never drug searched at her school, etc., etc., etc., I thought Phill would realize that there was a problem with Emma, and apologize to me and we would move on as a family and get Emma the help she needs. I was wrong.

There is another thing I want to mention, for some of you that may be new to the blog. (I have noticed quite an increase in readers according to my stats, and I have received a few private messages from readers.) I have offered to take down the blog and keep this whole matter between Emma, her dad, and myself. Emma chose to ignore my offer, and that’s fine. I will keep writing. I just want my darling daughter to know that if she is going to accuse me of child abuse and attempted murder, she’d better be willing to go to the mat on it. As long is Emma is lying about her mother, her mother is going to be writing about what really happened.

Coming up next, “The Rewards of Being a Victim.” I will share with you some stories about the people Emma took advantage of and stayed with because she couldn’t stay home with her abusive mother (even when her dad was there). Some of them have stories as interesting as my own. Then I want to share the story of Emma and her first boyfriend (whom she called her fiance) and I want to share with you the e-mails Emma wrote to “Lacey” as they are long and quite detailed and give quit an insight into Emma’s personality. Goodness, so much writing to do, and not enough time on my hands!

Thank you all for the love and support.

Temporary Protective Order Page 10

Posted on August 16, 2014 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, my daughter, Emma Roey, at the age of 16 made up a story about a friend being raped, claimed that this rape brought up memories of a priest molesting her when she was 12 years old, and then when her attorneys were about to file a lawsuit against the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse. Emma later claimed her mother had poisoned her with DDT. At this point in the blog, I am documenting the Temporary Protective Order my husband took out to have me removed from our home. If you want to read more about Emma’s story, go to the archives. A good place to start is with “Sending out a Letter” in July of 2012.)

On this page, Phill checks the box that he wants me to attend a batterers intervention program, but I wonder why he didn’t want me to attend a poisoners intervention program. After all, Emma claimed I was poisoning her with DDT! I think Emma was watching WAY too much Criminal Minds. (Still a great show although I don’t catch it often anymore.)

Temporaroy Protective Order Page 8

Posted on August 10, 2014 by losingemma

Not much to add to this page, just saying that Phill get’s custody of the minor child, Emma Katherine Roey.

Three more pages to go! I’ll get back to it soon!

Temporary Protective Order (Preface)

Posted on July 12, 2014 by losingemma

*****UPDATED and EDITED AUG. 3, 2014******

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma was recently living at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, majoring in counseling, and talking about getting married to T., an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for over a year for that toxicology report! And the funny thing is that Emma’s dad knows she’s said this but refuses to address it.) Emma also claimed her future mother-in-law lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family, although I heard from this lady that she feared no such thing. While in Ohio, Emma began telling stories about T’s family, making herself the victim again, but since she didn’t have her mother to be the persecutor, Emma began saying hurtful things about T’s mother, sister, and grandparents. In Sept. of last year, T. broke up with Emma, deciding he had doubts about her. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Christmas 2006
Emma Roey

TPO

There are two dates that will live in infamy in my own little war. One is March 14, 2011, which I think of as Emma’s Emancipation Day, and the other is April 7, 2011, the day my loving husband took out a Temporary Protective Order against me, and two officers from the sheriff’s department showed up at my door and told me I had to leave my home. I am going to tell the story of these two dates and I will publish the TPO and go through it page by page. This will take a while, so bear with me.

March 14, 2011

After Emma pulled her little “abused child” stunt at Christmas to stop the law suit that her attorneys were about to file against the priest that Emma claimed molested her (as well as a suit against the church and the diocese), we were all about therapy. We were enmeshed in therapy. We were covered up in therapy. Therapy was our life. Last I heard, Emma was majoring in “counseling.” Ironic, isn’t it?

Just before Emma accused me of abuse, she’d stopped seeing Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment and Counseling http://www.mannatreatment.com and started seeing Suzie McGarvey at Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com (now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com ). I had taken Emma to meet a few counselors, and Suzie was the one she liked best. Suzie was originally from Ohio, Catholic, married to a financial planner, and had two little girls. Suzie even brought her two girls, along with their Labradoodle, to a “Pet Photos with Santa” fundraiser that Emma and I worked at for the rescue. I still have photos of the girls with Santa and their dog.

Because of DFACS involvement, we were also seeing some therapists that contracted with DFACS, the Social Empowerment Center http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com (Lori McCarthy, Rachelle D. Hutchinson, Emily Kirby, Candace Whitman and Tamesha —sorry, Tamesha, I can’t remember your last name.) Emma was also talking with her high school counselor, Heather Thompson at Jefferson High School http://www.jeffcityschools.org. We had PLENTY of therapy going on. Emma got LOTS of attention, and was talking to therapists at least three times a week. She didn’t really make any friends at school, but she had plenty of therapists to talk to.

If I remember right, Emma was seeing Suzie McGarvey once a week, and then we were also doing family therapy at least every other week. The weekend before Emma’s March 14th appointment, she had asked me if just she and daddy could go to therapy. At first I said fine, but then said no because we were working on therapy as a family, and we all needed to go.

On March 14, I had a doctor’s appointment, so Phill took Emma to therapy, and I headed to Lanier Counseling after my doctor’s appointment to join them. When I walked into the waiting room, Phill was there, and Emma was in the office with Suzie McGarvey for her private therapy session. Phill and I sat and talked for a bit, and we’d each brought something to read while we waited.

When it was time for family therapy, Suzie came out and asked Phill to come in, but wanted me to stay in the waiting room. Ok, fine. After a few minutes, Phill came out and I asked him what was going on. He said Emma wanted to say something to him, but she didn’t want him to tell me, and he told her that he wouldn’t agree to that. He took my hand and held it, and said he wasn’t going to keep any secrets from me.

Suzie McGarvey came out again and asked Phill to come back in to her office. He went, and I sat there and waited and waited and waited. I remember at 35 minutes past our appointment time thinking we would not have much time for our family appointment, and then finally Suzie McGarvey called me in.
I walked in and sat on the sofa. Emma was at one end, Phill was in the middle, and I sat next to him on the other end. To be honest, I was so shocked and stunned by what I heard next, I know my memories of the details are a little fuzzy.

Suzie, Emma’s counselor who’d told Phill and I that we were only the 2nd couple she felt she could trust with her own children, and who’d told me that she wanted to have all Emma’s therapists “circle the wagons” to sort of call Emma out on her B.S., told me that Emma wanted to live in a group home to get away from me, and we needed to separate. After that is where it gets fuzzy. I couldn’t belive what I was hearing. Emma was accusing me of abuse, claiming I would shove or shake her and then block it out. The whole story was so bizarre. Later, I said over and over that I felt like I’d been run over by a truck. I was completely blindsided by what Emma did and what was to come. I think I was in shock at the ridiculousness of it all for a long time.

Part of what shocked me was that I was also Suzie McGarvey’s client, and I felt very betrayed by her blindsiding me like this. After Emma had accused me of “physical abuse” just before Christmas, she spent a week at Peachford Hospital (a mental health facility, or mental hospital), and then she finally came home. We met with Suzie to discuss therapy, family therapy, Phill and I meeting privately with Suzie, and me meeting privately with Suzie. I’ve been told this is a conflict of interest, that Suzie should not have been my therapist and Emma’s therapist, but I don’t know. I did send a letter to the Georgia Board of Examiners of Psychologists and Therapists, but never got to speak to an actual person and got the standard letter back saying they weren’t going to do anything…

I was ready to let Emma live in a group home, but Phill wasn’t. I thought this child needed to see how other people lived and then maybe it would sink in that she had it pretty darned good! I don’t remember a lot of what else that was said. I was shocked and cried and asked Emma why she was doing this. Mostly , she would not look me in the eye, but at one point she said in such a cold, hateful tone, “Mother, I love you, but you have a problem.” Well, for Emma to call me “Mother” meant something right there. Emma NEVER called me mother unless she was being sarcastic. She called me “Mom” or “Mommy” or “Maise.” She did not call me “Mother.”

Sometime before this session, I met privately with Suzie McGarvey, and I remember telling her about one morning when I told Emma to hurry because we needed to leave for school, and she screamed at me, “I’M TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!” Well, Emma took control and made sure that no one was going to be telling her what to do anymore.

I didn’t know what to do. Here was our therapist telling me I could not live in my home with my daughter. Being Emma’s mom, her interests came first. I knew she had to go to school, so I said I would go stay with a friend for a few days while we got this straightened out. It was more important to me that Emma stay in the home so that she could go to school and continue with all the things she needed to do. Emma had missed a lot of school in 9th grade due to her vomiting issues (when I was supposedly poisoning her with DDT) and I knew we needed to keep her in school.

I went home and packed a suitcase and went to the home of my friend, Janice for a few days. Poor Janice. Emma stayed with her for a few days at Christmas when she was in DFACS custody, and now I was staying with her. Unfortunately, Emma acted horribly at Janice’s, and I felt bad that Janice was dragged into our family problems yet again, but she is a true friend and was there for me once again. I was pretty much a wreck the whole time I was there. I did a lot of crying. I was in total shock by what my child had done.

I don’t remember when I came home. It may have been on the weekend. I do remember that it was another friend’s birthday on March 16th, and Phill and I went to her home to take her a bottle of wine, but I don’t remember what day we went, and I don’t know where Emma was staying then. She ended up staying with neighbors like old friends Ann and Jack Verner, our neighbors John and Judy Hall (Phill did a lot of computer work for the Halls, erasing hard drives, when their daughter was going through a divorce. Their story is almost as interesting as mine, and I’ll share it after I get the TPO posted.) and Cora and Randall Andrews, and some RC friends of Phill’s, Mike and Wendy Timms.

Recently, my friend’s husband brought up that day Phill and I took the bottle of wine over for my friend’s birthday. Phill talked to them about how we needed to get Emma home and straighten her out. My friend’s husband brought up how he never understood how Phill was so supportive of me when we stopped by, and then a few days later he would turn against me.

Sometime, while I was staying with Janice, Phill completely changed his tone. I have no idea what Emma said or what Suzie McGarvey may have said, but all of a sudden, my husband and best friend of nearly 30 years decided I was a child abuser.

I came home from Janice’s, and Emma was staying at John and Judy Hall’s, and she was to be off the next week for Spring Break. Phill wanted me gone so Emma could be home with Emma. Emma and I had planned on visiting a friend in N.C. over Spring Break, so I decided to go alone, and that way we wouldn’t have to find places to for Emma to stay. Of course, at this point, I thought we were still going to work on things as a family, but Phill had already decided what he was going to do, and while I was in N.C. crying my heart out every day, Phill and Emma went to see a divorce attorney named Seth Eisenberg at Bovis, Kyle, and Birch LLC in Atlanta. I remember looking up the website at some point, and it advertised divorce for dads. I recently looked it up again, and it appears Mr. Eisenberg may not work for Bovis, Kyle, and Birch anymore. I didn’t see his name anyway.

(Mr. Eisenberg was the attorney who later told my attorney that he thought Emma was crazy, that she ran the show, and that Phill didn’t come see him without bringing Emma. My attorney also confided in me that Mr. Eisenberg told him that every time they came in, Emma brought up the subject of a restraining order, really wanting to get a restraining order against me. At some point, Mr. Eisenberg told my attorney that he would handle Phill’s divorce, but he wanted nothing to do with “that kid.”)
While I was in N.C., Phill and Emma were having plenty of quality daddy/daughter time and doing things like going out to eat (something Emma loved to do because I tried to cook fairly healthy) and on little adventures like to the Atlanta Aquarium. I was very disappointed when I found out they went without me as that had been something we talked about doing as a family. We had been, a few years before, to the TN Aquarium and had a wonderful visit there. I still haven’t been to the Atlanta Aquarium. Maybe that’s something I should plan on doing soon.
While I was in N.C., I decided I was not going to be run out of my home. I had been attending a Bible Study group with Emma at the church we had recently changed to, Holy Trinity Anglican Church http://www.holytrinityflowerybranch.org/ in Flowery Springs, Ga. I enjoyed the study and the group of ladies and decided I was not going to miss our Wed. night session on the count of my lying daughter. It was my home, and I belonged at home. If Emma had a problem living in our home, she could go somewhere else.
Phill was furious with me for ruining his week. He had taken vacation time to take the week off and be with Emma, just like he had taken his vacation time when Emma pulled her DFACS stunt at Christmas.
I don’t remember if I came home that Tues. or Wed., but I had wanted to be home Wednesday evening to go to church. As it ended up, our Bible study was canceled, so I didn’t go after all, but Phill was furious with me for coming home. I think Emma stayed with Judy and John Hall that night, but I don’t really remember. I was still in shock over what was going on, but I was determined to stand up for myself.
The next morning, Thursday, April 7th, 2011, after barely speaking to me for the past couple of weeks, Phill was all interested in what I was doing that day. I later figured he needed to know my schedule so he could have the Temporary Protective order served. He wanted to know exactly where I was going and how long I’d be gone and if I was coming home after that…
When Emma was vomiting frequently, I had thought of trying a Yoga class, thinking it might help Emma relax. We only had gone a few times, and I really enjoyed it, but Emma not so much. Emma was very critical of things that were not Christian, and as much as I hate to say it, she was pretty closed minded about a lot of things. “Namaste” did not sound Christian enough for her, and Emma was pretty judgmental about Yoga although she knew very little about it. I found that I really liked how I felt after a class after all the stretching and then the relaxing at the end of class. Emma was also very competitive, and although I was 50 and not in particularly good shape, I could do the poses and stretches better, and the teacher was frequently helping or correcting Emma. When Emma got home from the psych hospital and started back to school, I continued to go to Yoga about once a week without her. Had she wanted to stick with it, I’d have made an effort to take her to an evening class, but she was not interested.
That Thursday, I decided to go to Yoga. Phill asked what time the class was and if I was coming home after that. It turned out that he took Emma to the court house with him to take out the TPO and then drove Emma to Chamblee, Ga, to the home of some old friends, Ann and Jack Verner. I had been friends with Ann’s daughter, Kathy, since high school, and she was Emma’s Godmother, but we’d lost touch over the past few years after Kathy left her husband who told Phill and I that Kathy had been having some affairs. Emma really couldn’t stand to have anything to do with Kathy, and when Kathy was living with her girl/boyfriend Andrea/Jason (It gets very confusing, but Andrea was going through a sex change to become Jason.) Kathy had a little birthday party/open house at their new home. Emma absolutely refused to go, and Phill was working, so since it was on the way, I dropped Emma off at Sandra Brooks McCravy’s house in Lawrenceville, Ga. on my way to Kathy’s. Sandi said Emma could stay with her while I went to Kathy’s. I stayed for a short visit at Kathy’s new home, and then went back to pick up Emma. Emma would not have anything to do with Kathy and refused to accept Kathy as a friend on her facebook up until she pulled the abused child act and then all of a sudden, Kathy was fine to have as a friend again.
Emma once again got to play the victim and was treated as the house guest at the Verner’s home. I don’t remember what all they did, but even with the trauma of being an abused child, Emma put pictures on her facebook of her visit. I have a cute one of her and one of Ann and Jack’s granddaughters

Georgia Board of Examiners of Psychologists (Manna Treatment and Counseling)

Posted on June 22, 2014 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma was recently living at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married to T., an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for that toxicology report.) She also claims her future mother-in-law lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family, although I heard from this lady that she feared no such thing. While in Ohio, Emma began telling stories about T’s family, making herself the victim again, but since she didn’t have her mother to be the persecutor, Emma began saying hurtful things about T’s mother, sister, and grandparents.

As always, if you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Someone recently contacted me about their own experience with Dr. Genie Burnett of Manna Treatement & Counseling, Duluth, Ga., and I was sharing with this person my experience with filing a complaint against Dr. Burnett. As I mentioned earlier, Dr. Genie Burnett was Emma’s therapist and I only sat in on a few full or partial visits with Emma or with Phill and Emma. When I started seeing a psychologist after Emma pulled her little, “I want to live in a group home.” stunt, this psychologist strongly encouraged me to file a complaint with the State Board against Dr. Genie Burnett. I was NEVER Dr. Genie Burnett’s patient nor was I a patient under anyone there at Manna Treatment & Counseling.
Dr. Genie Burnett told another of Emma’s therapists, Suzie McGarvey of Lanier counseling in Buford, Ga., who is now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates in Suwanee, Ga, that she diagnosed me by going through a checklist with Emma and asking, “Does your mother do this, this, and this?”
As it was explained to me, it was completely unprofessional of Dr. Genie Burnett to diagnose me as I was NOT her patient, AND it was unprofessional of her to diagnose me based on the complaints of my daughter, who, if you’ve read the blog, has a long history of lying.
Well, we’ve all heard of what happens when doctors discpiline doctors, and the Georgia Bord of Examiners of Psychologists is no different. I looked up what I needed to do through the office of the Secretary of the State, and it was all pretty much a waste of time. I wrote my letter with my complaints, and at no time did I ever get to talk to a live person, even though I called the office. Everything is done on paper or by internet. I’m sure it looks good for their stats. They can keep records of their complaints and show that they addressed them, all nice and neat without actually doing any real work looking into complaints.
Anyway, I tried to follow the rules and handle things appropriately, and here is what I received from the Secretary of State’s Office, Georgia Board of Examiners:

Randi Kristin “Chrissy” Lewis

Complaint/Compliance Specialist- Healthcare 1

The Georgia Secretary of State

Professional Licensing Boards

237 Coliseum Dr.

Macon, GA 31217

478-207-2440

At this point, I’ve sort of taken things into my own hands with telling my story here on the blog, and I figure if one person reads about Dr. Genie Burnett and Manna Treatment and Counseling and decides not to go there, I may save someone else from a lot of heartache.

Emma and Kayla —–With Friends Like This…

Posted on November 16, 2013 by losingemma

Updated Nov. 22, 2013

Emma Kate Roey and Kayla Benifield Weaver at church camp in 2003. (Kayla is now a computer science student at Armstrong University in Savannah, Ga.)

Emma met Kayla Benifield at church camp in 2003 when Emma was 9 years old. Kayla was a couple years older. The two girls were in the same cabin and became friends. On the last day of camp, the parents come to see a performance, pick up their kids, and have dinner in the dining hall. Phill and I sat at a table with Kayla’s parents and grandparents. At one point, I told Kayla’s mom and dad that we’d love to have Kayla over to visit, and I got sort of a noncommittal response and sensed something odd. Later, I was to find out that Kayla’s parents were divorced, and Kayla was actually being raised by her grandparents who lived in Martin, Ga., but Kayla’s mom Sheree Benifield (later Barwise) lived not far from us in Buford. Later, she moved even closer to us in Hoschton. I never found out why Kayla’s grandparents were the ones who raised her, and I never asked. When I met Sheree, she was working for a vet and going to school. She seemed like a nice lady, and she was probably a good bit younger than I, so I always assumed maybe she’d married young and wasn’t equipped to be a single mom after the divorce.

Kayla came down to visit her mother now and then, and Emma and Kayla would get together a couple of times a year. Emma said Kayla only visited her mother twice a year because her grandparents had custody and that was all the time Sheree was allowed to have Kayla. Sometimes Kayla would come to our home and spend the night, but probably a little more often, Emma went to Kayla’s because Kayla was never down for very long, and we didn’t want to take away from time with her mom.

Kayla was always the perfect guest in our home. She was kind of quiet, shy, well behaved, and never a bother. She loved butterflies and had almost platinum blonde hair, and when she got a little older, she started dying some of her hair bright pink. It sounded odd when Emma told me about it until the first time I saw it, but it was cute and seemed to fit her personality. Anytime she was down visiting her mom, we were always happy to have her over, although that “we” usually meant me because when Kayla first started coming over, Phill was working out of town on the weekends. Of course, I was relegated to cook and maid, but at that time, we were homeschooling Emma, so it was always nice for me to get a break from her. As well as mom and teacher, and even though Emma was in many extracurricular activities, I was usually her playmate, breakfast, lunch, and dinner companion, the one she wanted to play a game with, sit and watch a movie with, and the one who read to her in the evenings before bed. During the 5 years that we homeschooled, I never got much of a break, so in addition to not having Emma constantly at my side, it was fun to be more of an observer and get to see Emma and Kayla having fun together.

I think Emma was in 10th grade when Kayla graduated and went off to Marist College in New York. Recently, I heard that Kayla married her longtime boyfriend, Blair Weaver. I wish Kayla and Blair a long and happy marriage.

Now that I’ve introduced you to Emma’s childhood friend, next post I will share some of the lies and stories Emma told about Kayla and her family over the years. I haven’t verified all these stories, but I will let the reader decide what sounds plausible and what doesn’t.

Emma’s stories about Kayla and her family may have started innocently enough. One of the first “stories” I remember would have been in about 2004, when Dan Rather, with CBS, attacked President George W. Bush’s service with the National Guard. Since Phill and I were fans of WSB talk radio, a radio was usually on in our home or our cars all the time, so Emma heard a lot about this story, and she learned a lot about politics.

Kayla had been down visiting her mom, and we’d taken Emma over to Sheree’s home to spend time with Kayla. After Emma got home, she said, “Mom! You are not going to believe this!! Kayla’s mom got married?”

She was right, I didn’t believe it because I’d have thought we would have heard about it when we either dropped off or picked up Emma, so I said, “She did? Who did she marry?”
“Dan Rather!”
I said, “Ha. Ha. Very funny, Emma.” And thought to myself that this was Emma’s funny sense of humor.

When Emma was little, maybe about 3 or 4, she got into “Knock Knock” jokes. It was always when we were riding in the car, and whatever she happened to see would become part of her joke.
“Knock, Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Tree.”
“Tree, who?”
“Tree, Lampost!” and then she would burst out into a fit of laughter.

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Cloud.”
“Cloud who?”
“Cloud, Stop Sign!” and again with all the laughter. It was so precious. This could go on and on and on, but I never got tired of it because each time, Emma laughed like she’d just told the funniest joke in the world.

But, the Dan Rather story didn’t seem to be a joke. Emma tried to convince me that Sheree had married Dan Rather, and that he was Kayla’s new stepfather. At first I went along with it and said things like, “Oh, really?” and “Hmmm.” And Emma went on and on until I finally said, “Emma, I know Kayla’s mom really didn’t marry Dan Rather.”

This just seemed to make Emma angry, and she tried harder and harder to convince me until I just let the subject drop and ignored anything else Emma said about Kayla’s mom and Dan rather.

I remember later telling Phill about it, and how I thought it was a joke, but how Emma got so upset when I didn’t believe her. It was just really odd behavior. You Psych people will have to tell me what you think, because to this day, I wonder if they way Emma was acting should have been an early warning sign of a potential problem.

Another early story was about Sheree’s boyfriend (now husband), Jeff. Emma might have been about 10 or 11 when we found out Sheree had a boyfriend. He wasn’t usually around when Phill and I dropped off or picked up Emma at Sheree’s house, so I can’t remember how we found out about him, but fine, whatever.

One day, after being over at Kayla’s, Emma and I were home, and she was talking about her visit. She mentioned Jeff, and I asked if he had any children, and Emma told me he had a three year old boy, but the boy lived with his mother. Oh, ok. Sounds plausible, right?

It had to be a year or so later when Emma had been over at Sheree’s home to see Kayla, and she was telling me about what they did that weekend, etc. and I asked if Jeff’s little boy had been over that weekend. Emma told me that Jeff didn’t have a little boy. I reminded her that she had told me some time back that he had a son. Emma denied it, and I figured it wasn’t worth arguing about, and thought perhaps she’d been confused. Maybe it was a neighbor who had a three year old or whatever and Emma didn’t have the story straight. I let it go, but it bothered me for quite some time because it just seemed odd. Later, when I found out about many of the lies Emma had told, I wondered if this was one of those times where she didn’t know the answer when I asked if Jeff had any kids, so she just made it up.

As Emma got older, her lies got more interesting and a little more vicious. More to come……….

Mental Illness? Personality Disorder? Or Lack of Conscience/Character?

Posted on November 5, 2013 by losingemma

(Edited and Updated Nov. 10, 2013)

Some time back, one of Emma’ friends called me to fill me in on some things Emma was saying at the time. Some things were about me, and some things were about others. I was wondering about Emma’s propensity for telling stories about others. Is she deliberately lying just to talk or for attention? Does she lie to hurt people, although many folks don’t often know what she says about them? I was speaking with this friend, and I asked if this person thought Emma actually believed that she was sexually molested by a priest and did she actually believe that the mother who raised her, homeschooled her for 5 years, took care of her, loved her, encouraged and took her to any extracurricular activity she wanted to try, etc. could actually have hurt her. I was a little shocked and saddened when this person, someone close to Emma, told me they thought Emma was very manipulative and knew exactly what she was doing. I am also saddened to say that this answer didn’t surprise me. I think I knew this all along.

Isn’t that an odd place for a mother to be? You love your child, and you do the best you can to raise them to be a decent human being, and then you find yourself in a place almost wishing she were mentally ill just to explain the horrible things she’s done. I’ve never liked dealing with mental illness. I’ve known people with it, seen how it affects families, and often it is just too difficult. There aren’t any easy answers and everyone hurts. Often, there is no happy ending. Yet, here I was thinking I’d rather believe my child is mentally ill than to believe she would do all the hateful, hurtful things she’s done with no regard for anyone but herself. I tried to raise Emma to do right. It’s not complicated. Just do right, or in the psychobabble that Emma loves so much, to “Make Good Choices.” Instead, I am wondering if I raised a child lacking character, and perhaps even lacking a conscience. Also, Emma is a coward.

A few mental health professionals that I’ve spoken with have suggested that Emma could have a personality disorder such as antisocial personality, delusional thinking, schizophrenia, etc. I will go into more on these later. Of course my knowledge is very limited on these topics, but my knowledge of Emma runs pretty deep.

I have a lot to say on Emma’s descent into therapy as well, and will tell you all about our experiences with Emma’s therapists:
Suzie A McGarvey, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, LLC http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com/ (Suzie was formerly with Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com/)
Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett, Manna Treatment,http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff
Dr. Richard Born, Applied Psycholocgical Health http://appliedpsychhealth.com/
Rachelle Hutchinson, Emily Kirby,Tamesha, Candace Whitman, of the Social Empowerment Center (DFACS therapists) http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com/
Heather Thompson, Jefferson High School, counselor http://jhs.jeffcityschools.org/faculty-directory.html
Peachford Hospital (Charter Peachford) http://www.peachford.com/
Jackson County DFCS http://dfcs.dhs.georgia.gov/jackson-county-dfcs-office

Another goal of mine is to expose Emma’s lying. As I mentioned before, I’d been thinking a lot about Emma’s lying and wondering how far back it goes. When did Emma cross over from normal childhood lies into something worse?

In the coming pages, I will document more of Emma’s lies since that is what has been heavily on my mind. Emma told so many stories about school (when she did go to public school), kids she knew from school and church, pastors (Priests), choir directors, teachers, drugs and sex going on in school, pregnant teens (some of this I’ve already mentioned if you skim around the blog). Did Johnny really try to kiss her when they were in the play together at Jackson County Comprehensive High School? And why did Emma tell me one story, but make it sound so much more sinister for her friend “Lacey?” (I’ll share more about this later. I have to go through all of Lacey’s letters again to find it.) Emma claimed that Johnny was in 11th grade and was engaged. Really? Were all the girls who worked on the backstage crew at JCCHS really lesbians?

Coming up next, I’m going to share some stories Emma told about her friend Kayla and Kayla’s family. Emma and Kayla were friends from about 4th grade, and now Kayla is a married lady. Over the years, Emma told stories about Kayla, her husband, her sister-in-law, her mother, and grandparents. When I share what Emma said about these folks, you are going to wonder, with friends like this………………..

Losing Emma

Tag Archives: Emily Kirby