If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com
Emma at Old Rhinebeck Aerodome in Rhinebeck NY, 2006
The NEW Woman of the House (The Girl Who Would Be Me)
Just before and right after being removed from my home, we started what I jokingly called the “Emma Dates Her Dad” period. (And since I get asked this all the time, let me just stay that no, I never thought there was anything incestuous going on between Emma and her dad. Up until Emma figured out how much power she had by claiming to be abused, she was always a mommy’s girl. Phill was always a little envious that Emma always wanted to be with me, wanted to talk to me, to confide in me, etc, but they had a pretty good relationship. Emma frequently made fun of her dad for being a geek, or dorky or whatever, and occasionally I got on to her when she got a little mean, but they got along well.)
While I sat home alone one night, Phill went over to the home of Randall and Cora Andrews, the neighbors who lived behind us, to sit out and drink beer. It was Randall and Cora, John and Judy Hall, whom Emma was staying with that night, and Phill. He told me later that the Hoschton mayor, Erma Denney, who was another neighbor who lived behind us, stopped by. As I knew Erma and had helped her with a rescue dog she had found, I’m sure Phill must have found it a little awkward to explain to the mayor where his wife was.
While I was out of town so Emma could be home for Spring Break, Phill and Emma, in addition to seeing a divorce lawyer, were going out on the town, to the Atlanta Aquarium, out to eat, to movies, etc. Just a fun family stay-cation for the abused child while Emma was on Spring Break. As I mentioned earlier, I was hurt when I found out they went to the Aquarium as we had talked about doing that as a family.
Emma began posting things on her facebook about all the chores she was doing at home (essentially my chores). In one post she bragged about how quickly she got the dishes out of the dishwasher and put them away. This was kind of funny because Emma could take 30-40 minutes to put the dishes away. One day, out of curiosity, I timed myself and told Emma that it took me 7 ½ minutes to casually put the dishes away, so there was no reason for her to take so long. Of course, when Emma made her facebook post, her time was under 7 minutes. As much as she hated me, she WAS me!
Emma bragged about taking care of the dogs and the guinea pig and posted something about all the furry creatures fed and taken care of.
Emma wrote about the first time she played piano for our new church, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga. I was heartbroken that I was not there to hear her. I guess that was my payback for all those years of driving her to piano lessons!
She also posted a picture of her on a swing at church, looking up at the sky, and said something about how bigger churches may have all this stuff, but our church had a swing. That one was a little odd, but she looked pretty and sweet, like a good Christian girl looking towards the heavens.
Phill wrote about going out to a bar or restaurant where one of his RC buddies played in a band and posted a picture of Emma standing there listening to the music. I remember his comment, “A good time was had by all.” At the time, I wondered if that was deliberately to try and hurt me, an attempt to show how much fun he and his daughter were having without the evil mom.
Phill also took Emma white water rafting and posted the pictures on facebook. Again, this was something I had talked about doing with the church youth group, and I was heartbroken not to go with my family.
Phill let Emma skip a week of school to go with him to SEFF (Southeastern Electric Flight Festival) in Americus, Ga. After all, with all the pressure of being an abused child, she needed a little vacation.
Emma posted about going out to dinner and eating steak with other UPS drivers and their wives that we we occasionally met for dinner: Randall and Cora Andrews, Tim and Elizabeth Hince, Carl and Connie Lehman, Tommy and Dennise Thompson, Kevin and Jocelyn O’Gorman.
Phill had not wanted Emma to get her driver’s license until she was 18, but with the evil mother out of the house, he needed her to be able to get to school, so he reversed his decision on this and let Emma get her license and bought her a car. When she totaled that car, he bought her another, and I heard from a neighbor that Emma totaled the 2nd car, too.
Once Emma had her driver’s license, she posted on facebook about her trips to the grocery store.
So many of Emma’s posts about all the chores she was doing were kind of humorous. Emma was the child who could take 3 hours to do a 5 minute chore, but now that she was running the household, it was different!
I’m not sure how Facebook works, but in the relationship section, where you have your husband, sisters, daughter, etc., next to Emma on my Facebook, it said “Pending,” so I guess that is what you do when you remove a relationship.
Emma then removed me as well as my sister and her to girls (Emma’s cousins) from her Facebook and blocked all of us so that we could not see anything she did. As one of my nieces put it, “It is her loss.”
In June, we had a trip planned with my sister and one of my nieces who was coming from CO. Emma was really looking forward to rooming with her cousin, but it ended up being me, my sister, and my neice who went on the trip, as Emma did not go.
After Emma removed me, I removed Phill from my Facebook. It was all just too painful.
During that summer of 2011, I went up and stayed with my sister and brother-in-law in Ct. for a couple of months. They were a lot of support while the divorce was going on. Somewhere in there, I got copies of all the e-mails Emma sent to “Lacey.” And I let Phill know. I expected Emma to ‘fess up, knowing that I had a stack of lies that she’d written, and that my attorney was talking to “Lacey’s” parents about Emma’s claim that “Lacey” was raped and had attempted suicide. Phill took Emma up to visit his mother in Brick, New Jersey, and I half expected him to show up and apologize, but to this day, Phill has no answer as to why Emma claimed “Lacey” was raped and attempted suicide. I’ve pointed out all the other lies Emma told such as “Lacey’s” mother in the hospital, with breast cancer, Emma accusing me of poisoning her with DDT, Emma’s story about babysitting the priest’s two boys and having to call 911 when the older son got out of control, Emma’s story about being drug searched at school, etc., etc., etc., and Phill refuses to talk about Emma with me. I am not allowed to call, as he will not speak to me. He threatens to block my e-mails or texts if I contact him about anything other than the alimony being late (which it is frequently) or picking up my things (which he still has).
In 2012, one of Phill’s friends sent me some photos just to let me know what was going on. Unfortunately, I looked at them and deleted them. Of course, now I wish I’d saved them, but oh, well!
Sometime, in 2012, Phill was confirmed at Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga., by Father George Ivey and there was a nice picture of Phill kneeling at the altar. Emma was about 12 when Phill was baptized by the priest that Emma would later accuse of sexually molestation. She had really hounded Phill about getting baptized. It was more important to her than it was to him. I’m guessing that she hounded him about getting confirmed as well.
I’ve occasionally wondered what Emma’s collection of therapists would say about Emma accusing the priest who baptized her dad of sexual molestation. Emma wanted her dad baptized so badly, and yet she accuses the priest of a crime. It seems like a decent psychologist might have something interesting to say about all that. (Dr. Richard Born (Allied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.), Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.), Suzie McGarvey (Lanier Counseling, now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) , Rachel Hutchinson, Emily Kirby, Candace Whitman, Tamesha (Social Empowerment Center, Lawrenceville, Ga.) Heather Thompson (Jefferson High School), etc., etc.
Also in 2012, Emma threw her Dad a surprise birthday party. Since there was a picture of her and her friend, Abbey Benito, in with the party pictures at our home, I’m assuming Abbey helped Emma with the party.
Abbey Benito was a friend of Emma’s from the homeschool arts program that we were involved in. She was in Emma’s class and a lovely girl. Abbey was tall, quiet, well-behaved, and quite an artist who almost always had a sketch pad in her hand. I remember Abbey’s mom, Donna Benito, telling me that ever since she was little, Abbey liked to draw and it was something she did all the time. One semester, I worked as an assistant to one of the art teachers, and Abbey was in one of the drawing classes. I always enjoyed seeing her work. I think between her gift and all her years of practice, she was such a talented artist and now attends Anderson University in Anderson, S.C.
When I started teaching at the arts program, my first class was a Wire Jewelry class. I had never taught a class like this before, and working with kids was challenging, but I really enjoyed it. I felt like I learned as much from the kids as they did from me. Abbey was in my very first class, but she did not do well at it. Wire Jewlery can take a little time to get the hang of, and I don’t think Abbey got it as first. There was another young lady who had a difficult time, but this girl stuck with it and ended up taking pretty much all my classes and doing very, very well.
Unfortunately, I may have neglected Abbey a little bit. It was my first time teaching, and it was difficult with the kids constantly calling out and asking me for help. Abbey was so quiet and never asked for help, so I had to make an effort to check on her as she struggled in class. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and I felt like I probably did not give Abbey enough attention. Later on, Emma seemed to enjoy telling me that Abbey did not like my class. Emma did not mind when I worked as an aid at the program, but when the director asked me about teaching, Emma was not happy with me. I think she got jealous that the kids liked me, I was the “cool” teacher, my class was fun etc. I felt very blessed to be teaching a class the kids did NOT have to take. The kids that took my class were there because they wanted to be there. At first, it was only girls, but later on, I got a few boys, too. The very first time I had a young man sign up for my class, it was a young man who had a friend in one of my classes, and he often stopped by the class room. One day, he asked if he could sit in on a class with his friend, and I told him if he was going to do that, he was going to work, and I had him start a project. Later on, I teased him that he signed up for my class just because he didn’t want to take what else was offered that period, and he told me that no, he thought my class was fun. He ended up doing being a very good student and did some fine work.
I enjoyed being the “fun” teacher, and at the end of the semester, we had “Parent’s Night” where we displayed the kids’ work for all the parents to see. The director of the arts program was always pleased with the work my kids turned out, and I was very happy with my job. I worked there for 7 years, and I am sad to say that because of Emma, I will never work with children again. During the divorce and while I was working on going back to work, I wanted to volunteer with kids. I remembered how much Emma loved reading, and I always wanted to do something like tutor kids who needed help with reading. There’s just something magical about seeing a kid who discovers reading. I am sad to say, that due to the fact that my daughter has accused me of abuse, I will NEVER volunteer with children ever again.
One day, I came home and sat down to eat with Phill and Emma and was telling them something one of the kids had said about how much they liked my class, and Emma just looked at me and said, “Mom, they hate their own mothers too.”
Just a side note, when Emma first accused me of abuse , somehow, word got to the director of the arts program, and when we started back to classes in Jan. , the director took me aside to tell me she’d heard about Emma’s accusation. I’m just assuming that Sandra Brooks McCravy (who had taken her boys out of the arts program because she was unhappy there) had told a mutual acquaintance, probably our friend Rita Carlton who also worked at the arts program, and I’m assuming that Rita told the director.
The director of the arts program told me that because of Emma accusing me of child abuse, I would have to have someone else, another adult, in my class to supervise me. I guess to make sure I didn’t go postal and kill the kids in my class. It was Donna Benito who came in to “babysit” me that first week back. After that, I guess the director decided I didn’t need a sitter, and although it was embarrassing and humiliating, I got through it.
Anyway, back to Phill’s birthday party. Phill’s birthday is March 21st, but if I remember right, the part was on March 18, 2012. That would have been a Sunday. I guess the party could have been on March 17. That’s neither here nor there.
The party was a small gathering with Emma and Abbey Benito. John and Judy Hall were there, as well as Phill’s UPS partner Carl Lehmann and his wife, Connie, and one of Phill’s RC buddies, but I can’t remember his name.
Emma had gotten Phill an Angry Birds cake for his birthday, and I wasn’t surprised, as he was always into video games. It was cute.
It was March 14th, 2011, when Emma wanted to leave the family and go live in a group home, and everything went to pieces. Phill’s birthday for 2011 kind of go overlooked with all the Emma drama, but I wondered if Emma got Phill one of the gifts I’d planned on giving him. We’d been out in Jefferson, Ga., and saw some windsocks outside a local store. There was a really cute one of a red bi-plane, and I had planned on getting that for Phill because of his RC plane obsession, but with all the Emma drama, I never got back there.
Anyway, those are just some examples of Emma’s new life being the Alpha Female in charge of the house hold. I am out of time tonight dear readers, and will reread and edit when I have some time, but I was just trying to get some thoughts down.
Coming up next, I want to write about Emma’s first boyfriend and her move to Ohio!
As always, please contact me if you have any questions: losingemma@gmail.com
Losing Emma 