Strange Behavior from an “Abused” Child

Posted on October 3, 2013 by losingemma

Oct. 3, 2013

Emma loved having very finely tweezed eyebrows.

I’ve been thinking about a few things that I thought about some time ago, and for some reason, they popped back into my thoughts.

How do abused children act? Emma told her therapist Suzie McGarvey of Lanier Counseling (Now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Suwanee, Ga.) during our March 14th, 2010 visit, that she wanted to go to a group home because she didn’t want to be in the same home with her mother.

Let me tell you how Emma was acting up until a couple of days before March 14th when she hatched this little idea.

Emma had pretty much quit going to PetsMart for Adoptions on Saturdays, and I usually went alone. She begged off saying she had too much school work, but I think the real reason was that she could not face our friend Janice, at whose home she stayed during her first accusation of abuse. Emma had adored Janice, and Janice loved Emma. That Christmas, since Emma had taken up sewing, and Janice was an excellent seamstress, Janice bought Emma a sewing basket and all kinds of notions she needed for sewing, and at my suggestion was going to give Emma a sewing day, where she could come over with whatever she wanted to make, and Janice would be there with her expertise to help her. I thought Emma would love this. She thought the world of Janice and spending the day with her, sewing, sounded like a great gift.

After all the lies Emma told to Janice’s face (You can read them in another part of the blog.), I think Emma couldn’t face Janice. Janice knew the truth about Emma and knew that Emma could look right at her and lie. Once someone caught on to Emma, she no longer had any use for them.

So………….getting back to my topic about the abused child. A couple of weeks before Emma wanted to be removed from our home, I came home from Adoptions, tired out, and Emma was jumping around, acting all silly, begging me to take her shopping. It was the last thing I felt like doing, having had been out most of the day, but I wonder how many abused children beg their abuser to take them out. Don’t abused kids typically avoid their abuser?

If I had been paying attention, I would have caught on to Emma’s actions. Up until a couple of days before March 14th, when Emma hatched her little plan to get out of the house, Emma was always very affectionate. Before she went to bed, she would hug me and kiss me when she said good night. If I were in bed, reading, she would lie on the bed next to me and want to cuddle and talk for a while before she went to bed. I remember how a couple of nights before March 14th, this stopped. I just let it go, figuring she was being a moody teenager, but it was much more than that. Emma was a cold, calculating young woman, and had I been paying attention, I’d have realized she had something up her sleeve, having seen her act this way before.

Another thing Emma did has to do with her eyebrows. In 9th grade, when Emma was going to Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she rode the bus and sat with 4 other girls from our neighborhood. At first, Emma was crazy about riding the bus with them, and said she would never go back to being homeschooled. After a month or so, I’m not sure what went on, but maybe she just wasn’t fitting in. Emma complained to me about school and told me she wanted to be homeschooled again. She accused me of giving up on her. One of the girls on the bus later told me that Emma complained about the school and exaggerated the drug problems of the high school. Emma complained about there being too many lesbians in the drama department, and she complained about the black kids getting special treatment at school.

One of the girls Emma rode the bus with, was the daughter of a beautician. One day, this young lady plucked Emma’s eyebrows into a very thin line. It looked fine, but being somewhat lazy about my own make-up, it was not something I would have attempted on me, but if Emma wanted to do it, that was up to her. She liked the look, but when her eyebrows started growing back in, she realized that this look took a little maintenance. Emma did it herself for a while, and she went a little too far and took out the middle of her eyebrows so it looked like she had two half brows over each eye. It looked pretty odd, and I got on to her about not over-plucking her brows.

Emma didn’t like plucking her eyebrows herself, so she would come to me with a pair of tweezers and put her head in my lap, wanting me to pluck her eyebrows. I didn’t really mind, as it seemed like another time we would have some “girl talk” as I plucked her brows for her. I am wondering though, does this sound like the behavior of an abused child? Later on, when I mentioned to Phill how Emma hugged and kissed me every night (while often “forgetting” to say goodnight to her dad), Phill tried to claim that Emma only did this because she would have to face my wrath if she didn’t say goodnight to me. Uh, yeah. Right. I guess he thought I went into a wrath if I didn’t get to pluck her eyebrows too. Yep, I lived to pluck those eyebrows. My day just wouldn’t have been complete otherwise.

Coming up Next, the movie that influenced Emma’s decision to accuse a priest of sexually abusing her.

DDT

Posted on September 30, 2013 by losingemma

DDT? Really, Emma?………………….More coming. I just don’t have a lot of time this week.

I was hunting for a cute photo and wanted to share a funny story, but I haven’t found it yet, so here is one of Emma one Christmas when she got a Magic Kit. She had a lot of fun performing tricks.

Posted on September 24, 2013 by losingemma

Chapter 4
The Snowball Begins to Roll

Today’s post is to follow the numbered Chapters in the blog as I tell the story of Emma, so you may want to go back and read Chapters 1-3. I plan on putting the Chapters all together on a separate page. I appreciate those of you who have hung in there with me as I tell this story. This is really a rough draft as I will keep writing and re-writing until I get it all done and edited the way I want. It is a very slow project.)

Emma serving as an acolyte in 2002, aged 9.

Chapter 4

On Monday, March 22, 2010, the morning after Emma told us her story of “being molested” neither Phill nor I were sure what to do. Emma was adamant about not wanting the police involved. I called our Deacon, and left her a voice mail, and Phill called and talked to Emma’s youth group leader who also happened to be an educational psychologist who did school testing.

I had a dentist appointment, and remember I could hardly think straight to get through my dental
check-up. Because I’d called the cell phone and not the home phone, and our deacon was home that day, she didn’t notice the message on the phone until later in the afternoon, at which point she called me and wanted me to come to her home, not far from ours, to talk to her.

I went to Deacon F.’s home, and tearfully told her what Emma had told me. She told me that she had been planning to call me that day because Emma had been confiding in the assistant youth leader about being molested, who in turn spoke with the deacon, and legally, they could not keep this to themselves. We talked for a while, and the Deacon F. wanted me to call Phill and Emma and have them come over. When Phill and Emma came, we all talked and cried with our deacon.

Over the next week, we spoke to Deacon F. several times. That week, she also went down to the diocese in Atlanta to see what we needed to do to file a complaint against the priest. Deacon F. was a very caring, calming, kind person. For a while, she met with me once a week, to help me deal with my thoughts and feelings over what I believe had happened to Emma. Now, I hate knowing how much of her time we wasted, as she was a very busy woman and always ministering to others. She spent so much time ministering to our family over what, I think now, turned out to be a teenage girl’s desperate need for drama and attention.

During that week, I remember being surprised that we never heard from anyone from the church. I would have thought the bishop would have called us to let us know the church would be looking into what we reported. Our priest, being a new priest, preferred to let the deacon handle our situation and never called or came to see us. At that point, we hadn’t told any of our family or friends of Emma’s allegations, so I felt very isolated, not having anyone to talk this over with. Emma was home all the time because she was doing 10th grade on line that year.

On Tuesday, March 23, 2010, Emma and I took the dogs for walk in the afternoon. As we were coming up the driveway to go into the house, two cars came up. One was a Jackson County DFACs social worker, and the other was an officer from the sheriff’s department. Emma and I were both shocked and shaken, and Emma fell apart, crying and holding on to me, afraid that they were going to take her from her home. Of course, now I wonder if Emma’s hysterics were partly because she’d realize what a serious situation she’d created in involving the authorties. Both the officer and the social worker assured us that Emma was not going anywhere and that they just had to investigate and make sure that this priest no longer had access to her.

The DFACs worker recommended a place to take Emma for counseling, and the woman from the sheriff’s department told us she would be turning our information over to Gwinnett County, since the incidents took place in Gwinnett County.

Two days later Deacon F. came over and picked us Emma and I and took Emma and me to Mayfield Dairy for an ice cream. I was a nice day, and we sat outside at a picnic table, ate our ice cream cones and talked. Deacon F. asked Emma what happened, but Emma did not want to talk, so I told Deacon F. the details of what Emma had told me. Emma nodded and agreed to what I or corrected me if I didn’t say something right.

That evening, I received a call from a Gwinnett County Detective who wanted me to bring Emma to the police station for questioning. (I still have the detective’s card, but out of respect for his privacy, I will not post his name here.) Emma and I were shaken and scared that we had to drop everything and go, so I called Deacon F. and she agreed to meet us and go with us. As usual, here presence made both of us feel better.

If I remember right, I had to speak to the detective alone, Emma and I had to speak to the detective, and Emma had to speak to the detective alone. I think there had to be a witness in with Emma so she was not alone with the detective.

The detective told us they would be investigating the priest, and he would keep in touch with us. I didn’t know what to expect from the investigation. We had given the detective names of other acolytes at the church, so we knew the police would be talking to those families.

I don’t want to go into details of the priest’s life, as it would give away who he was and that is not my intent. I will just say he was in the public eye and Emma very nearly ruined his life with her accusations.

(To be continued….)

Morning Musings and Happy Memories

Posted on August 31, 2013 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now claiming she is engaged to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student at Notre Dame, living in Liberty Township, Ohio at the home of her Tyler’s grandparents, Albert and Merrie Knopp, and attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law, Sherry Knopp Buchheim, lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.)

I received an e-mail from Tyler’s mom, denying that Emma and Tyler are engaged. I am kind of curious. I can’t say too much because it would give away my sources, but Emma has recently talked to people about getting married (soon) and even asked someone other than her dad to give her away. I really don’t know if Emma has had a tift with her dad, so she’s finding a replacement, or is he against her getting married at 19? He has done everything Emma has wanted thus far, so I can’t imagine he’d be opposed to the marriage. Then again, the upcoming wedding could just be Emma’s wishful thinking, and she may be planning all this, but Tyler may not be aware of what’s going on in Emma’s head. I had a long conversation with a friend of Phill’s recently who mentioned an encounter not too long ago where Emma acted rudely, and Phill looked at the friend and said, “It’s all about Emma.” without mentioning to Emma how rude she was being.
For some reason, I could just picture Phill saying, “It’s all about Emma.” It certainly is.

In 2004 Emma played softball at North Metro First Baptist Church in Lawrenceville, Ga

I’ve renewed the blog for another year, so I guess I will keep writing. Some of it seems so silly to write about now, everything we went through when we thought Emma had been molested, etc., but I will keep telling the story. I know Emma has taken the wrong path and made some poor choices, and I realize she is 19, and she may continue on this path for years. I may or may not be around when or if she turns her life around, but she’s still my daughter and I will always love her. As one of Emma’s victims, I’ve been very hurt by Emma and her lies. I not only lost my daughter, but lost my husband and my marriage. After being a stay at home mom, I’m back in the work force and struggling to get on my feet. It has been absolutely horrible, but I have had some wonderfully positive experiences as well. You either live and grow from your hearbreak and trials, or you die. I have too much life left to live.

Most of you know I homeschooled Emma for 5 years (grades 4-8). I’ll save the thoughts on homeschooling Emma for another posting, but the other day I was talking to another homeschooling mom, and we got to talking about our kids playing ball. I told her this story about Emma, and she said I needed to remind Emma of these stories or write them down, so I thought, along with Emma’s story, I would not just tell the bad, but share some of those funny kid stories that all moms treasure.

When we homeschooled, Emma played softball for a couple of years at North Metro Baptist Church in Lawrenceville, Ga. This was a big church with some wonderful sports programs that a lot of homeschoolers took advantage of. Emma always complained of not being athletic, and I used to joke that Phill and I didn’t have a jock gene between us, but part of it was that kid thing that Emma didn’t like doing much of anything if it didn’t come easily to her. She was always good in school, but not so good at sports. What we loved about North Metro was that being a Christian program, winning a game was not the major concern. I’d heard too many stories from other parents about team sports and that with some of the Rec leagues, if your child wasn’t good, they wouldn’t get to play much. At North Metro, all the kids played, and they got to play all different positions. After every game, one child was awarded the “Game Ball” usually for making some kind of good play.

At one of Emma’s games, she was put on 3rd base, and I was sitting along first base. Her coach and assistant coach were inside the fence right in front of me. Emma’s team pitched the ball, and the batter hit a line drive straight to Emma. For a split second I saw a look of terror on Emma’s face as the ball came at her, and she closed her eyes tightly and shoved her glove out in front, more like she was trying to shield herself than to catch the ball. The ball went right into her glove, and when she opened her eyes, she was completely surprised to realize that she’d caught the ball. How I’d have loved to have caught that play on camera! Her two coaches stifled their laughter and then the head coach said, “There’s the game ball, right there.” I guess sometimes being a great athlete requires a little bit of luck!

Whew!

Posted on August 25, 2013 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Liberty Township, Ohio at the home of her fiance’s (Tyler Buchheim, a student a Notre Dame) grandparents, Albert and Merrie Knopp, attending Wright State University, and talking about getting married. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law, Sherry Knopp Buchheim, lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.)

I keep wanting to get back to Emma’s story, but have very little time to write. I’m trying to work on what happened after she first told us she was “molested” and will get into all the experiences we had with Emma and therapy, but while I have a minute, I just wanted to share that I received an e-mail from Emma’s future mother-in-law, and she said she is NOT afraid I am going to show up and kill her whole family. I wonder why Emma would be telling people that? Does it just sound good? I forgot to ask Sherry some of the other things Emma said about Tyler’s family, but I will get to that later. I do have to admit, several of my friends have found the DDT story and the thought of me killing a whole family kind of humorous.

Also, several people have asked me about the Protective Order that Phill took out. I will be happy to share that, and will publish it here. I just have to get it scanned into the computer and write up that part of the story as well.

Emma and Kayla 2005

We probably don’t need to read any more of Emma’s lies, but I’ve been compiling a list of stories Emma told over the years about a close friend of Emma’s since 2003. Emma told some great stories about this young woman, her mother, her grandparents, and even her then boyfriend’s family. Looking back now, I’m trying to understand why Emma would tell these tales about her friend and her family. These people were all very good to Emma, so it just doesn’t make sense to me.

Thanks for your support. More to come……………

The Other Question I Get Asked

Posted on August 19, 2013 by losingemma

(Edited Aug. 22, 2013 I forgot about the cruise)

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Liberty Township, Ohio at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University, and talking about getting married. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law, lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.)

Phill got our Buck Trail, Hoschton home in the divorce. I couldn’t have afforded it by myself anyway. While Phill got the house, I still own half the items in the house. Phill has only let me have a few things out of the house. I have no idea if he still has my things or has gotten rid of them. When I tried to call him in Dec. of 2012, he had my phone number blocked. Before that, the last time I spoke to him on the phone was in Sept. of 2011. (Maybe I called him too much?)

The question I get asked quite frequently is if I thought there was something odd going on between Phill and Emma, and I’ve already answered that. No, I didn’t.

The other question I get asked is if there was another woman. Well, at first I didn’t think so. I loved and trusted my husband. What can I say? Maybe I was stupid. At times, I joked that Emma was the other woman, and in some ways she was. After Phill had me thrown out of my home, he and Emma did everything together: drinking beer with the neighbors (Emma didn’t drink, but it was odd for a 17 year old to be sitting over at the neighbors with 6 or 8 middle aged people who were sitting around drinking beer.) Occasionally, we went out to dinner with some of Phill’s coworkers from UPS, and Emma posted on her facebook about doing that. She was taking her mom’s place. Another time, Phill posted on his face book a picture of Emma at some bar/restaurant where they went to to hear a band. Phill took Emma to the Georgia Aquarium, something I’d talked about us doing as a family, and he took Emma white water rafting, something I’d asked him about doing with the church youth group. Phill took Emma out more that he took his wife out. Also, we’d been talking about some kind of big family trip after Emma graduated high school. Phill and I never took a trip on our 20th anniversary or our 25th anniversary, so I always knew we’d do something special on our 30th in 2014. We were planning on taking some kind of trip as a family after Emma graduated high school. Well, Phill and Emma took a cruise, but I wasn’t invited.

Was there another woman? I have no idea. Phill had always said if he wanted to have an affair, he was smart enough to cover his tracks. He was an over the road truck driver, a computer geek, and way smarter than I’ll ever be. I know this was true, but I always thought he was committed to the marriage and I didn’t have anything to worry about.

Before Phill and I were married, we agreed that if we ever had problems, we would go to marriage counseling before calling it quits. Phill went to marriage counseling one time, and he took Emma with him. We could not ride together because he wanted to take Emma. (During this time, Emma was staying at a neighbor’s.) Phill dropped Emma off at the mall, and we met at the counselor’s. I remember how odd it was that he wanted to hold my hand while we sat in the counselor’s waiting room, but when we were in her office, he told the counselor he believed Emma that I was a child abuser. When I tried to point out how some of the things Emma said could not be true, he wouldn’t hear it.

Things did not go well with the therapist, but Phill agreed to a second appointment. A few days later he refused to go back, and I had to cancel the appointment. After we left the therapist’s office, he picked up Emma and they went out to dinner while I went home alone. The only reason I found out that they went out to dinner was because later, Phill carelessly threw the receipt away in the bathroom trash basket, and I happened to notice it.

Later, after Phill had initiated the divorce, I turned over some of the lies I had uncovered about Emma to my attorney, and he in turn, turned over everything to Phill’s attorney. Of course, the biggest lie was that the supposed catalyst for Emma remembering being molested, the rape of her friend Lacey, never happened. I thought that Emma would have to back down on her story, and Phill would apologize and maybe there was hope for saving the family, but for whatever reason, Phill’s excuse was that all the lies I uncovered were because other people told them to Emma. Lacey told Emma she was raped and that she tried to commit suicide. The girl down the street told Emma she was pregnant and had an abortion…………….. Phill refused to believe Emma made up any of these stories. It was all someone else’s fault.

Was Phill that stupid that he was completely snowed by his daughter’s stories? I’ve been told I’m a fool not to believe there was another woman. The only thing I know is that right after the divorce was final, an old girlfriend of Phill’s showed up on his facebook. When I first met Phill, he was in love with Ruth Lindemann, of Danville Ill. She married a friend of his named Eric, and the only time I knew of Phill hearing from her was when she sent him a Christmas card the first year we were married. As a young wife, I was pretty insecure about my husband receiving a card from a former love, especially because to track down his address, I was pretty sure she would have known he was married, and yet my name was not included on the card. Also, she did not sign her husband’s name on the card, but simply, “Love Roo.” Perhaps she was already divorced at the time. Could it be a coincidence that 30 years later, just as his divorce is final, Ruth showed up on Phill’s facebook page? When Phill was home, he spent hours everyday out on the sun porch on the computer. I did not often know what he was doing, and did not try to look at what was on his computer.

Phill and I have now been divorced for over a year. I have no idea who he’s involved with or if he is remarried. It doesn’t really matter. You can live up to the vows you make, but that’s all you can do. You have no control over your spouse, and if he chooses to break the vows he made, you just have to move on.

I really want to get back to Emma’s story, but since I have been asked these two questions so many times, I wanted to take the time to address them.

Emma and Her Dad

Posted on August 10, 2013 by losingemma

I’ve been asked this over and over again, I will address it and move on. Did I think my husband was molesting out daughter? The police and attorneys told us that in many cases, children accuse someone of this crime because the someone who is molesting them, is someone closer to them, such as a family member.

No, I have never, ever thought that Phill was molesting his daughter.

Another question I get asked is why did Phill want a divorce? Why, after finding out about all Emma’s lies, was Phill so complicit in going along with Emma? Why would Phill not want to get to the bottom of whatever the problem was and save his family? Why did Phill not want to get to the truth? What kind of man lets his wife take the blame for something he knows she didn’t do? Was there another woman? Was Phill using Emma because he wanted a divorce, just like Emma was using Phill to cover up her lies?

As a matter of fact, an old girlfriend, whom I didn’t even know Phill had been in touch with for all the years of our marriage, showed up on his facebook as soon as the divorce was final. Coincidence?

I will tell you about her in my next post.

About Those Criminal Charges…

Posted on August 4, 2013 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Ohio with her some of her boyfriend’s family, attending Wright State, and talking about getting marriede.)

A few people contacted me by phone or e-mail, concerned that I was actually going to be facing criminal charges, but that last post was more of a joke. (It’s been 2 1/2 years of hell, but I have survived with my sense of humor intact.) Emma did not do her research this time and has been going around telling people that her mother poisoned her over the years with DDT. She claims to have the toxicology report that proves it. Those of you who know Emma know that she had issues with frequent vomiting, so her excuse is that she threw up because her mother was poisoning her. Depending on whom her audience is, she may accuse me of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy or outright attempted murder. Sometimes she has claimed that I started poisoning her because I was angry that she was “molested.” My attorney would love to have a copy of the toxicology report, but I think we’ll be waiting quite a while on that one.

(As for the Van Munchausen by Proxy, no, Emma, I did not enjoy all those doctor visits, hospital visits, tests, etc. It was definitely not my idea of fun, but something I did because I wanted you to get well.)

I’ve recently heard some things Emma has been saying about her fiance’s family.. Of course, I don’t know what is true and what isn’t, having never met these folks, but I think when some of these stories get back to the Buchheims, Emma my wear out her welcome with Tyler’s family. Tyler’s grandparents have so graciously taken her in so that she could live closer to Tyler.

Of course, as a mother, I want to see Emma get her act together, try to make amends for some of the damage she has done, and get on the right path. It is difficult and painful to see this very bright young woman, who once dreamed of being a pediatrician, a politician, a nurse, or a counselor, hurting so many people. She had such a promising future, and she still could, but right now, I’m afraid for anyone in Emma’s way of getting what she wants. One of my biggest fears is that Emma seems to lack a conscience.

Early on, when Emma turned on me, I saw something like this on a friend’s facebook page:

I was afraid to post it because Emma would probably accuse me of threatening her. In may case, just ignore the part about “hunt you down” and “stalk you.” I just want to make that clear, otherwise Emma’s going to be calling the police and accusing me of stalking her. Right now, I feel pretty safe posting this while she is in Ohio, and I am several states away!

Again, I thank those of you who have contacted me and offered encouragement or shared your stories about your experiences with Emma. If you want to contact me privately, you can do so: losingemma@gmail.com I will keep all e-mails confidential.

More to come…..

Waiting on Criminal Charges

Posted on July 21, 2013 by losingemma

Emma and the children of her “Other Mother.” Derek and Johnathan McCravy. You can read about Emma’s other mother, Sandi (Sandra Brooks McCravy) in the June 18 post below.

Updated July 22, 2013
One of Emma’s (Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey) more recent claims is that her mother was POISONING her. She claims to have the toxicology report that she and her dad had done. I can assure you, dear readers, that my attorney is anxiously waiting on this report since I will be facing criminal charges at that point. Actually, I am deliberately leaving out exactly what Emma claims to have poisoned with, and I will write more about this topic at a later date. Emma made a big mistake when she picked her poison (pun intended).

Emma also says she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother, who is dangerous. This would be the same mother she has not seen in over two years. More likely, as a psychologist explained to me when Emma started with this, “I was an abused child” nonsense, Emma needed a new audience. Emma is now on her 3rd college, and as people figure her out, she will keep moving around. There were too many people in Georgia who were on to Emma. She didn’t last long at Piedmont College (Demorest Ga.) and I have to wonder if while living in the dorm, were the other kids figuring her out? Before Emma even went to off to college, someone mentioned to me that dorms can be brutal, kids are smart, and Emma would not be able to pull the kind of stuff of that she had already.

Another thing the psychologist told me was that if i wasn’t around, Emma would find someone else to turn on, and it sounds like this is already occurring with Emma turning on her boyfriend’s family. Some of the stories she is telling about them have gotten back to me. I have not met T. or his parents, but I’m seriously doubting some of the things I’ve heard that Emma is saying about them.

Emma talks about getting married soon. As a mother, of course it is very painful not to be in my daughter’s life, not included in her wedding plans, etc., but I also know how sad this whole thing is. How can a child who has caused so much destruction be ready to take on something as serious as marriage. I feel for T. and his family and I hate to think of the pain she will bring them, but as a parent, I understand that Emma is 19 and going to do whatever she is going to do. You have to let go, and let your children go out on their own. My situation was a little different because I didn’t let go, but was thrown out of my home, but still, Emma has to live with the consequences of her actions. Sooner or later, she will have to quit blaming others for her own faults and mistakes.

As for marriage, well, around the time Emma accused the priest of sexually molesting her, she was also interested in becoming an emancipated minor. What teen doesn’t want to leave their parents’ home and not have to follow the rules. That is not unusual.
I had had a friend, several years before, who had been an emancipated minor, and Emma brought it up many times, asking me about it. Emma often told me that she could do that, get her own place and take care of herself. I would tell her how lucky she was that she didn’t have to, and I think it took Emma a while to realize that being independent meant getting a job, paying the bills, and not having a daddy who did all that for you. Emma went to great extremes to get her independence but still be financially supported by her daddy. She wanted her independence, but didn’t want the hard work and responsibility that went along with it. Now, this child who wanted so badly to be independent, wants to get married at the age of 19.

I have been receiving information about Emma from friends of hers and/or her dad. Some people have just wanted to fill me in on things Emma has said, some people have wanted to give me their stories of their dealings with Emma, and many of you have wanted to ask me some questions. I am happy to answer any questions, so please continue to write and/or call. I will be addressing some of these questions on the blog as well.

Many of you have been great armchair therapists, sending me your thoughts and information. One close friend had even made many of the same predictions that the psychologist made, and was definitely much better at reading Emma than the local therapists we took her to. I have a lot to write about Emma and these “professionals”. One social worker told me that 4 out of 5 therapists aren’t worth their salt, and from our experiences, I definitely believe that’s true.

Pathological lying? Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Borderline Personality? BiPolar? You all have provided me with some interesting reading. So…………if I’m not in jail with an attempted murder charge, I will keep posting. If I am in jail, just call to find out the visitors’ hours. I’m sure I’ll be ready for some company.

Recent Emma Tales

Posted on July 14, 2013 by losingemma

I want to thank those of you who have shared your stories of encounters with Emma. I am compiling these stories in a file, but will respect the privacy of those of you who’ve contacted me. Sadly, while up in Liberty Township, Ohio, with Merrie and Albert Knopp, the grandparents of her boyfriend, Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student at Notre Dame, Emma continues to tell some tall tales, and I am finding they are not just about me, but about others close to her. I will be publishing these stories at a later date, but since they are still coming in, I don’t feel ready to do that right now. I will not be able to share all the stories because I don’t want to write anything that might give away the people who have confided in me. One thing I do appreciate though, by sharing your stories with me, these stories have answered some questions about Emma’s behavior that I had.

If anyone else has any questions about anything Emma has said, please feel free to contact me. I will answer all e-mails privately.

Losing Emma

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DDT