Emma’s Police Report

Posted on January 10, 2014 by losingemma

Edited Jan 19 2014
(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now engaged to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student at Notre Dame, living in Liberty Township Ohio at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, Merrie and Albert Knopp, and attending Wright State University .http://www.wright.edu/. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law, Sherry Knopp Buchheim, lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.)

At least once a week, I run into someone or hear from someone who asks me about Emma. Where is she? What is she doing? What is wrong with her?

The other day, I went to the Jackson County, Ga. Sheriff’s office to pick up a copy of Emma’s police report. Or, I should say ONE of Emma’s police reports. This has been on my mind for quite some time, but I never seemed to get out there. I forgot to ask for the report on her molestation accusation, and the report where a car turned around in the driveway, so she thought her mother was stalking her, so I will be going back to get those.

After I picked up the report, I e-mailed Emma and told her that I had the report and asked her if she would like to discuss it before I published it on the blog. Today, I got an e-mail from a Katherine Smith, but it was signed by Emma Katherine Roey. (Maybe Emma has changed her name?) It was basically the same e-mail Emma sent me over a year ago telling me not to contact her by phone, text, e-mail, etc., and written just exactly as her attorney told her to. At the end of the e-mail, she threatened to take legal action against me if I contact her again. I guess I shouldn’t hold my breath on a facebook friend request from Emma.

I am sort of wondering about this. Emma can send me a “drop dead” e-mail, and then some time later Emma can contact me, but then if I e-mail Emma, she can send me another “drop dead” e-mail and threaten me with legal action if I contact her again? I know I was just a dumb housewife and mother (Emma described her dad, a truck driver for UPS, as someone who “Just sits on his butt all day.”), but I don’t think this argument would hold with a judge. I don’t think you can tell someone not to contact you, threaten them with legal action, and then contact them whenever the mood strikes you. Hmmmmm, maybe this is a question for Handel on the Law. No worries though, I have no intention of contacting Emma, however my door is always open should she wish to contact me again.

After going to the sheriff’s office, I went by DFACS and had an interesting conversation with one of the social workers. Apparently, having your child accuse of you abusing her is not all that uncommon.

I’m attaching Emma’s police report below. I did insert the link to Dr. Genie Burnett http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff into the report. In the next post, we will take this police report apart, line by line, and I will tell you exactly what happened.

I had to type in the police report because I couldn’t get the scanned copy to load, but if anyone would like a copy of the police report, just e-mail me at: losingemma@gmail.com and I will send it to you.

Emma’s Police Report

Case Number 2010-76730
Jackson County S.O. Incident report
Narrative
Reporting officer: T. Burke
Statement Date 12/22/2010
284 Buck Trail,
Hochton, GA

Narrative:
On Cec. 21 2010, I was dispatched to the above location regarding a welfare check. I was informed by dispatch via telephone that they had received requests from two separate persons to check on the wefare of a seventeen year old female who resides at the location. Dispatch stated that one of the requester was a doctor (Jeannie Brunette 770-289-xxxx http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff) who provides care to the person, and the other was a friend (Sandra McCravy 404-547-8xxx) of the person and both were concerned for her well being. Dispatch also stated there may have been physical abuse of the person (Daughter, Emma Roey), by the mother, over the past two weeks with one incident possibly occurring on this date. Upon arrival to the residence, I made contact with the mother, who stated everything was okay, and that her daughter was asleep. I then asked to speak to the daughter to ensure everything was alright. The daughter immediately came to the door, apparently she was standing behind the door when I arrived. I asked the daughter, Emma, if she would come outside so I could speak with her in private. When Emma came outside, she appeared to be terrified, and stated she was afraid of her mother who she stated suffered from “Paranoid Borderline Personality Disorder” and would become violent with little or no provocation then not remember the incident. Emma said that earlier in the evening while watching television her mother became irate when she was unable to view a pay-per-view television show without paying for it and ultimately struck her on the right shoulder with a cooking pot from the kitchen. I asked Emma if the assault resulted in any visible injury and she stated no but it could possibly produce a bruise in the near future. Emma did show me the area and I saw no sign of injury. Emma continued her account of the abuse she had suffered over the past couple of weeks saying that at one point in time her mother had kicked her right foot into the dishwasher which resulted in what she initially thought was three broken toes however the pain had subsided and she did not believe they were actually broken, but that she did apply a splint made from a popsicle stick to them for several days. Emma said the red discoloration to the toes was due to the fact the popsicle stick obtained from a cherry flavored popsicle. Emma stated her mother’s disorder stemmed from an incident where she (Emma) had been sexually assaulted by an assistant pastor at a local church which came to light this past May. Emma continued to relay that she would be assaulted by her mother when I left if I did not remove her from the residence, and was in fear for her own safety. I then spoke with her mother, who stated she had spent the day with Emma and there had been no problems or incidents. After a consultation with Sgt. S. H. I attempted to contact a representative of the Department of Family and Children’s services, and was able to do so after numerous attempts. I spoke with Cecilia Dove and advised her of the situation, and she contacted her caseworker Tamara Hardy who responded to the scene. I remained on scene until Ms. Hardy was able to complete her investigation and establish a plan of action to resolve the issue.

Posted on January 5, 2014 by losingemma

I want to change the name of the website since there is a teen novel called Losing Emma by J.L. Weil, as well as a short film with name Losing Emma that was part of some sort of 48 hour film festival. I have not read the book nor seen the film. The name Losing Emma was just what popped into my head when I decided to write about Emma’s story. I’m still thinking on this.

For those of you that may be wondering, I have offered to take down the blog and let Emma keep this between me, her dad, and herself, but Emma chooses to go on with her lies, so I’m going to call her out on it, even if it is from afar. I have wanted to contact some of Emma’s acquaintances to ask them for their input, and I do have list of all her facebook friends from not too long ago, but I don’t really feel like this is necessary. I would like to accumulate even more of Emma’s stories from people who came in contact with her, but I really don’t want to bother people by contacting them. During the divorce, my attorney told me I had plenty of documentation on Emma’s lies and really didn’t need any more. I think if you read through the blog, you can see that is the case. I’m just sort of curious and would like to know more about stories she told. (I’m sure the DDT story wasn’t the only outrageous tale Emma told!) I do plan on sharing more of the stories that I’m aware of, but I sort of want to go in a different direction right now and will get back to that later.

I think my next topic is going to be on our experiences with therapy from my point of view. Of course, I can’t tell you what Emma was saying to her therapists, but I can tell you what I saw, heard, observed, said, what was said to me by both Emma and her therapists. Someone suggested that I leave reviews for the therapists on review sites such as Yelp, and I am considering this. First, I want to write here about our experiences. Then, if I choose to write some reviews, I can add a link to the blog where the readers can see a little more about what I have to say. Parents need to be aware of what kind of risk you take putting your child in therapy. For so long, Emma treated me like her best friend. I was always the one she wanted to talk things over with. Silly me, because she had so few friends (She had many acquaintances, but I would not call them friends.), when Emma started therapy, I thought it would be good for her to have someone besides her mom to talk to. I had felt the same way about Sandra Brooks McCravy. She was really my friend, but I thought it was good for Emma to have another adult she could talk to. Knowing how teens are, I knew that being Emma’s mom, some things I said went in one ear and out the other. I was only her mom and not somebody cool to talk to.

Later on, when I get to discussing Emma’s time with Suzie A McGarvey, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, LLC http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com/ (Suzie was formerly with Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com/) I will go into how Emma was rewarded for being a victim. I will be mentioning a lot of names on the web site, but most are just incidental. There are a few personal details I will have to mention in regards to one couple that Emma stayed with, just because when I tell you how Phill helped them out, you will understand why they were so eager to return the favor and take care of a poor, abused child. I really don’t want to hurt anyone Emma took advantage of, and I don’t want to mention any children on the blog.

Next up: Emma’s Descent Into Therapy

What’s Coming in 2014

Posted on January 1, 2014 by losingemma

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Liberty Township, Ohio at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, Merrie and Albert Knopp, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student at Notre Dame. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law, Sherry Buchheim lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.

Jan 1, 2014

I have had some topics rolling around in my head, just things I want to work on, but I haven’t sat down to do it. I think it is both painful and therapeutic to write, and I just need to get a little more organized in setting aside some specified writing time. I want to tell Emma’s story, and if my experience helps even one other family, it will be worth it.

To those of you who’ve asked if I’ve heard any more from Emma, no, I haven’t. I received a rather hateful e-mail from her in Sept., and that is it for the past 2 1/2 years. I remember in the past meeting people who were estranged from a child, and I wondered how in the world they survived it. Well, now I know. You just do. I thank God for friends and family because I’m not sure I would have survived this without the help of some very special people in my life.

I think from my previous posts, we can pretty much establish that Emma has a lying problem. She lies about people she knows, people she doesn’t know, people she likes, people she doesn’t like. She lied about friends, neighbors, teachers, kids at school, people from church etc. She lied about her best friends “Lacey” (cyber friend) and Kayla Benifield Weaver. She lied about Kayla’s husband’s family, Kayla’s parents and grandparents who were all so generous to have Emma as a guest in their homes many times. I had no idea how much Emma lied until I stated investigating. Sadly, this is something Phill and I should have done much sooner, but we had no idea that Emma had such a problem with making up stories about other people.

I want to share more of Emma’s lies, and I may work on more of her stories, but if you’ve been reading the blog, I don’t think I need to share much more to convince anyone that Emma has a problem. Some of the lies get more interesting when Emma started high school both at Jackson County Comprehensive High School and Jefferson High School, so I’m going to be working on these and will get to posting them eventually. Some of Emma’s stories were downright entertaining even if they weren’t true. I keep thinking back to when Emma was in about 2nd grade, the kids all voted on what they thought each other would be when the grew up, and Emma was voted most likely to be an author. I guess she was good at telling stories even back then.

Emma also takes stories that happened to other people and makes them hers. She heard a story about her priest and his wife calling 911 on their child, and made the story about herself. She became the babysitter who had to call 911 on the priest’s child. She heard about someone else’s molestation and made the story about herself. She heard about someone else’s alcoholism and told the same stories to DFACS only changing them to her mother so that she could be the victim. I don’t know enough about what kind of diagnosis this would be. What do you call someone who steals other people’s experiences and then claims them for her own?

There are other topics that have been weighing heavily on my mind though, and I think these are what I want to work on now. Sometimes, the thought of writing it out is pretty overwhelming for me, one who is so NOT a writer, and I appreciate you readers who bear with me and read through anyway.

I would like to get a copy of the police report where Emma accused me of physically abusing her, and I want to share that here as well as the events of that night. I hope to get over to the Jackson County’s sheriff’s office in the next couple of weeks to obtain that.

Emma’s 17th birthday, Dec. 19th, 2010. She got a notebook computer which she nicknamed Mark. This photo was taken a couple of days before Emma called (or had someone else call) the police to say she was being abused. This was also the day she went in her bathroom and kicked her cabinet so hard that she screamed and Phill and I ran in to see what happened. She asked me to look at her foot to see if her toes were broken. Later, she showed DFACSs and the police her foot and claimed that her mother kicked her foot.

Someone commented to me that Emma seemed to have an obsession with sex. I’d never really thought that much about it until they pointed out to me how Emma used rape, molestation, abuse, and some of the other things she said about kids at school, how so many young girls were pregnant, how everyone she knew was sexually active, but Emma bought herself a “purity ring” and wore it. Why did Emma accuse the priest who baptized her dad of molesting her? I think partly because Emma was upset with a boy who liked her and then dropped her, but Emma had been annoyed with the church for it’s liberal leanings. Could that have contributed to her turning on her own church?

Another topic I’ve wanted to write about it therapy. I’ve talked to numerous social workers, counselors, etc, and I’ve heard so many negative stories from other people about their own experiences with therapy. Personally, I think therapy has it’s good points, and sometimes people need an outside opinion to help work through things, but after our experience, I definitely want to warn parents about therapy. I’m not opposed to therapy or therapists, but one therapist told me they felt like 4 out of 5 therapists weren’t worth their salt. That’s kind of scary, isn’t it? I think in our case, we had a young lady who was too smart for her therapists. I want to write about our each therapist and our experience with each.

One more thing that has been weighing heavily on my mind is all the rewards Emma received for being a victim. Emma really took advantages of friends of neighbors who wanted to help this poor, abused child. She stayed with friends, neighbors, friend’s of Phill’s from his RC airplane group. She was fed, treated like a beloved guest, taken out to eat, taken to plays, given clothes, taken to the beauty shop, etc. The whole victim thing really worked out well for Emma. She got a lot of attention. I definitely want to share more about this.

Anyway, these are the topics that have been on my mind and probably what I will be working on next.

As always, if you have any questions or comments and don’t want to send them through the blog, you can contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Happy Birthday Emma

Posted on December 19, 2013 by losingemma

Dec. 19, 2013

Happy Birthday, Emma. Twenty years ago today, I gave birth to a beautiful 6 lb 12 oz baby girl at 7:34 am. Just like any parents, our lives would never be the same. It was a wonderful, magical day, to finally meet our perfect little baby. Your dad had saved up his vacation and stayed home with me for about 5 weeks, I think it was. We treasured every moment with you.
Emma and our Humane Society dachshund/mix, Sophie. For a while, Emma went by the name Sophie Buchheim on Pinterest.

I hope this birthday is as special as you need it to be.

Love, Mom

Emma and Kayla Part 2 – With Friends Like This

Posted on December 1, 2013 by losingemma

Emma and Kayla, Part 2 – With Friends Like This (See Part 1, Below)

Emma and Kayla in 2010

As I mentioned in the last post, as Emma got older, her stories about Kayla’s family got more interesting and more vicious. Emma knew, not knowing Kayla’s family well, that I would not question Sheree about some of the personal and private things that Emma told me. She also knew where to draw the line. For example, if she’d told me Sheree and Jeff took the girls out and were drinking and driving, I would not have allowed Emma in their home, so she always made Jeff out to be a heavy drinker if they went out and claimed Sheree was the designated driver and only told stories about Sheree’s drinking at home. If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you can see that Emma accuses a lot of folks of drinking too much. I would also like to say that I never saw or heard anything inappropriate from Kayla’s parents or grandparents. There was never any reason for me to feel like Emma would not be in safe hands at either of their homes. These are Emma’s stories, and I find them in no way to be credible. From what little I know of them, I thought Sheree and Jeff Barwise, and Roy and Velda Benifield to be fine people.

Kayla’s mom lived about 20 minutes from us, and Emma and Kayla got together usually a couple of times a year when Kayla was down visiting. Later on, Sheree and Jeff bought some property close to us, but it was a while before they started building their home. After visiting Kayla one weekend, Emma came home and told me various complaints that Kayla had about her parents. I didn’t pay too much attention to them because all kids complain about their parents. One story was about how when Kayla had Spring Break, her mother made her babysit the neighbor’s kids her whole week off even though Kayla did not want to do this. At the time, I thought Emma was exaggerating and that maybe Kayla was babysitting to earn some spending money. Who knows if she was babysitting at all.

Emma claimed Kayla told her that Sheree and Jeff had made friends with their next door neighbors in their new subdivision, and they went over there every weekend to hang out on the property and drink with the neighbors. Emma said Kayla hated having to go with them because they usually stayed until about 2:00 in the morning before heading home, and poor Kayla just had to sit there with a bunch of drunk adults because they would not allow her to stay home. Another story I thought odd, but as long as Emma wasn’t involved, I wasn’t going to get into it. I did sort of wonder that if Sheree and Jeff were friends with the neighbors, wouldn’t it have been more likely that they went over to the neighbor’s home rather than hang out on an empty piece of property? (The lots in the neighborhood were very large and the homes in that section were quite a distance apart.)

Later on, after the home was complete, Emma claimed that Kayla always had to keep her bedroom door locked because Kayla’s room was in the basement, and that when the neighbors were over one night, and everyone was drinking, the drunk man from next door wandered into Kayla’s bedroom in the middle of the night, looking for the bathroom.

Another story was when Jeff and Sheree took the girls and the neighbors to a sport’s bar for dinner one Saturday night. Emma said that they went to dinner at 6pm and stayed in the sports bar until midnight. She claimed that all the adults were drinking except for Sheree since she was driving. Emma said that she and Kayla sat at their own table, away from the adults, and it was fun at first because they ate and played video games, but then they were bored and had to just hang around while the adults talked and drank. She enjoyed telling me that Jeff was a big liberal (Emma is very conservative, politically.) and that Sheree and the neighbors argued with him over politics. I have no idea about Jeff’s politics, but because he worked for a well-known liberal news channel, I am wondering if that is why Emma chose to tell a story about his politics.

Emma liked to make fun of Sheree, saying that she had this beautiful kitchen but did not cook. Emma claimed Sheree and Jeff ate out everyday, but one time Emma and Kayla went to the grocery with Sheree and Emma said she spent over $400 on groceries. Emma told stories about Kayla and herself tracking down items for Sheree. That same shopping trip, Emma claimed that Sheree pitched a big fit in the grocery until the store gave her the Senior Discount. Emma went on and on about Sheree fighting with the manager, refusing to show her driver’s licence , claiming she didn’t have it, and Emma told me how embarrassed she and Kayla were at the big scene. It occurred to me some time later that this had been a Saturday, and I thought Senior Day was usually Wednesdays. Also, as I thought Sheree was under 40, I just couldn’t picture her trying to pass for a senior citizen.

For a few years, Sheree wasn’t working or in school, and not long after Sheree and Jeff were married, I believe this was sometime around early 2010, Emma came home after spending the night at their home, telling me how Sheree and Jeff were fighting over her latest purchase of a work-at-home scam. Emma told me that Kayla had told her that Sheree spent a large sum of money on this scam that of course was not legitimate, and that Sheree and Jeff were fighting because she had fallen for these scams before and always ended up throwing away money.

Emma told a story about Kayla making some soup that was something like chicken broth with strips of tortillas in it, and that was what they passed off as cooking in that house.

Kayla’s Grandparents

Kayla lived with her grandparents, Roy and Velda Benifield in Martin, Ga. We met them the first time we met Kayla at church camp, and a few times, they picked Kayla up at our home. They seemed like very nice, very sweet, country folks. One time, they took the girls to Medieval Times in Lawrenceville, Ga. According to Emma, they had good seats, but then paid extra to get the very best seats. Emma said they also paid extra for every little thing that the girls wanted or wanted to do such as taking a tour of something that was like a little museum of weapons or a torture chamber. At this point, I don’t really remember what it was. Emma made it sound like Kayla’s grandparents spent a fortune on them after already spending quite a bit for the tickets.

Emma made fun of Kayla’s grandmother, saying that she kept embarrassing them by saying things like, “Go stand over there next to that cute boy, so I can get your picture!” Emma did come home with a picture that was taken by Medieval Times of Kayla, herself, and one of the knights.

On another occasion, Kayla’s grandparents very generously offered to take Emma with them to Dollywood over Spring Break, but because she had missed to much school due to her vomiting issues, and we had to take Emma out of 9^th grade and have her get caught up at home, Phill and I decided she could not spare the time to take off for 5 days. It really hurt to say no, because I knew Emma would have a great time, but she was just too far behind in school. Emma was furious with me for not allowing her to go and couldn’t understand that we weren’t punishing her, but she only had a limited amount of time to finish 9^th grade, and we weren’t sure she was going to be able to do it. Emma was never very good about listening to reason, and to her it was just that I didn’t want her to go or that I just didn’t want her to have any fun. (I will talk about Emma’s vomiting issues at a later date. According to Emma, she threw up because her mother was poisoning her with DDT. That is a chapter unto itself!)

When Kayla was looking at colleges, Emma claimed Kayla was interested in going to Ga. Tech, but said Kayla’s grandfather was a diehard Georgia Bulldog, and if she wanted to go to Tech, he would not pay for it. I wondered if her grandparents would really rather send her all the way to Marist, in NY state, rather than have her go to a rival school.

I don’t remember when it was exactly, but sometime around 10^th grade, Emma went up and spent about 5 days at Roy and Velda Benifield’s home in Martin, Ga. I remember talking to Emma on the phone, and she spoke rather conspiratorially, whispering and making fun of Velda’s decorating because there were many Gone With the Wind items in the home. Emma even sent me a few cell phone pictures which I still have. Then Emma got mean and claimed that Roy was a Nazi sympathizer, a racist, or some sort of white supremacist. She claimed that he had one room decorated with posters, signs, and memorabilia which showed his prejudice towards blacks and Jews. She also claimed that Roy and Velda used the N-word quite frequently in conversation. I was pretty shocked,and I told Emma I did not believe what she was saying, but Emma kept insisting that it was all true. I never would have imagined these people as Emma described them, but what was I going to do, ask them if they were “racists”?

Kayla’s Boyfriend (Now Husband)

I don’t remember what year, but I remember Kayla was in 11^th grade, when Emma told me she had a boyfriend who was a 9^th grader, like Emma, and his name was Blair Weaver. I remember Kayla being at our home some time her senior year, before going off to college in NY, and speaking of Blair, and there is nothing that I remember particularly standing out. It sounded like they were a couple of high school sweethearts, and Kayla seemed very happy. I remember Kayla talking about how they were to be helping with Vacation Bible School, but I don’t remember if it was at her church or his. Kayla loved children and talked about being a teacher. When Kayla went off to college, I expected that would be the end of the high school romance, but I guess it wasn’t, as Kayla married Blair Weaver in Aug. of this year.

When Kayla was still in high school, Emma began with the stories about Blair and his family, and to be honest, I don’t even remember most of them. I didn’t even know these people. The one story I do remember was about Blair’s sister, whom I will call Lori. Emma told me that Lori had all these health problems such as brain damage, learning disabilities, and seizures and claimed that Blair and/or Kayla were frequently called out of class when Lori got sick or had a seizure, and one of them would have to attend to her until the parents got there to take Lori home. Emma made it out that Kayla was having trouble getting her school work done because she was frequently attending to this sick young girl. I thought the story odd, but let it go.

Another time, while Kayla was still in high school, Emma claimed that both Kayla’s family and Blair’s family expected them to marry and take care of Lori as she would never be able to live on her own. Emma made it sound like Kayla was being forced into a marriage that she wanted no part of, and that she would be saddled with a sister-in-law to take care of for the rest of her life. I remember arguing with her about how ridiculous this sounded as Lori was still in high school and Kayla was planning on going to college and moving away from Blair. Kayla was a bright young woman, and I could not picture her entering this life of servitude that Emma described. Kayla had plans for her future, and I could not imagine her marrying anyone at this age. When I pointed these things out, Emma got quiet and did not discuss it any further. Kayla went off to college after high school, and did not get married at that time.

Emma frequently called “Lacey” her best friend, but she was a cyber friend whom Emma had never met in person. Emma told many lies about Lacey and her family: Lacey being raped, Lacey’s mother on her deathbed in the hospital, Lacey’s family threatened by her “rapist”, etc. Now I have presented some of the stories Emma told about her other close friend, Kayla. Of course, Phill’s excuse for Emma was always that Emma didn’t lie, these other people told Emma these stories and Emma was just repeating them, so I would assume Phill believes Kayla told Emma all these stories about Kayla, her parents, grandparents, and husband. The problem can’t be Emma.

Do I believe any of the above stories? Not really. As her mother, I look back on so many things Emma said over the years and doubt almost everything she ever said after finding out about lie after lie. Now, I look at all these stories and wonder how we did not see that Emma had a problem, but one also has to consider that the above stories were told over a period of about 7 years since Emma only saw Kayla once or twice a year. I think if Emma had told all these stories at once, I’d have definitely caught on to Emma’s lying. I sure hope so. I hate to think I’m that stupid, but as parents, we want to believe the best about our children, so we overlook a lot of things, thinking they are just a misunderstanding.

I have a lot more of Emma’s stories to share. Some are about friends, neighbors,church members, her church youth group, her high schools (Jackson County Comprehensive High School http://www.jackson.k12.ga.us/jcchs/) and Jefferson High School http://jhs.jeffcityschools.org/, Gwinnett Young Singers http://gwinnettyoungsingers.com/, SEFF (Southeast Electric Flight Festival, Americus, Ga., hosted by the Fayette Flyers of Georgia) http://www.seffweek.com/, http://www.fayetteflyers.com/, etc. I think sharing the stories Emma told about others helps to paint a good picture of the young woman she has become.

If you have any questions or comments, or your own Emma story, you can contact me at Losingemma@gmail.com Anything you ask me to keep private, I will not share on the blog.

Happy Thanksgiving to Emma

Posted on November 27, 2013 by losingemma

Whether your are spending it in Ohio with Tyler’s family, or somewhere else, Emma, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Love, Mom

Emma and Kayla —–With Friends Like This…

Posted on November 16, 2013 by losingemma

Updated Nov. 22, 2013

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claimed she had to move in with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio to get away from her mother, and later claimed her boyfriend’s mother was afraid that her mother would show up and kill the entire family. (I have confirmed with the boyfriend’s mother that she never feared any such thing.)

Emma Kate Roey and Kayla Benifield Weaver at church camp in 2003. (Kayla is now a computer science student at Armstrong University in Savannah, Ga.)

Emma met Kayla Benifield at church camp in 2003 when Emma was 9 years old. Kayla was a couple years older. The two girls were in the same cabin and became friends. On the last day of camp, the parents come to see a performance, pick up their kids, and have dinner in the dining hall. Phill and I sat at a table with Kayla’s parents and grandparents. At one point, I told Kayla’s mom and dad that we’d love to have Kayla over to visit, and I got sort of a noncommittal response and sensed something odd. Later, I was to find out that Kayla’s parents were divorced, and Kayla was actually being raised by her grandparents who lived in Martin, Ga., but Kayla’s mom Sheree Benifield (later Barwise) lived not far from us in Buford. Later, she moved even closer to us in Hoschton. I never found out why Kayla’s grandparents were the ones who raised her, and I never asked. When I met Sheree, she was working for a vet and going to school. She seemed like a nice lady, and she was probably a good bit younger than I, so I always assumed maybe she’d married young and wasn’t equipped to be a single mom after the divorce.

Kayla came down to visit her mother now and then, and Emma and Kayla would get together a couple of times a year. Emma said Kayla only visited her mother twice a year because her grandparents had custody and that was all the time Sheree was allowed to have Kayla. Sometimes Kayla would come to our home and spend the night, but probably a little more often, Emma went to Kayla’s because Kayla was never down for very long, and we didn’t want to take away from time with her mom.

Kayla was always the perfect guest in our home. She was kind of quiet, shy, well behaved, and never a bother. She loved butterflies and had almost platinum blonde hair, and when she got a little older, she started dying some of her hair bright pink. It sounded odd when Emma told me about it until the first time I saw it, but it was cute and seemed to fit her personality. Anytime she was down visiting her mom, we were always happy to have her over, although that “we” usually meant me because when Kayla first started coming over, Phill was working out of town on the weekends. Of course, I was relegated to cook and maid, but at that time, we were homeschooling Emma, so it was always nice for me to get a break from her. As well as mom and teacher, and even though Emma was in many extracurricular activities, I was usually her playmate, breakfast, lunch, and dinner companion, the one she wanted to play a game with, sit and watch a movie with, and the one who read to her in the evenings before bed. During the 5 years that we homeschooled, I never got much of a break, so in addition to not having Emma constantly at my side, it was fun to be more of an observer and get to see Emma and Kayla having fun together.

I think Emma was in 10th grade when Kayla graduated and went off to Marist College in New York. Recently, I heard that Kayla married her longtime boyfriend, Blair Weaver. I wish Kayla and Blair a long and happy marriage.

Now that I’ve introduced you to Emma’s childhood friend, next post I will share some of the lies and stories Emma told about Kayla and her family over the years. I haven’t verified all these stories, but I will let the reader decide what sounds plausible and what doesn’t.

Emma’s stories about Kayla and her family may have started innocently enough. One of the first “stories” I remember would have been in about 2004, when Dan Rather, with CBS, attacked President George W. Bush’s service with the National Guard. Since Phill and I were fans of WSB talk radio, a radio was usually on in our home or our cars all the time, so Emma heard a lot about this story, and she learned a lot about politics.

Kayla had been down visiting her mom, and we’d taken Emma over to Sheree’s home to spend time with Kayla. After Emma got home, she said, “Mom! You are not going to believe this!! Kayla’s mom got married?”

She was right, I didn’t believe it because I’d have thought we would have heard about it when we either dropped off or picked up Emma, so I said, “She did? Who did she marry?”
“Dan Rather!”
I said, “Ha. Ha. Very funny, Emma.” And thought to myself that this was Emma’s funny sense of humor.

When Emma was little, maybe about 3 or 4, she got into “Knock Knock” jokes. It was always when we were riding in the car, and whatever she happened to see would become part of her joke.
“Knock, Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Tree.”
“Tree, who?”
“Tree, Lampost!” and then she would burst out into a fit of laughter.

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Cloud.”
“Cloud who?”
“Cloud, Stop Sign!” and again with all the laughter. It was so precious. This could go on and on and on, but I never got tired of it because each time, Emma laughed like she’d just told the funniest joke in the world.

But, the Dan Rather story didn’t seem to be a joke. Emma tried to convince me that Sheree had married Dan Rather, and that he was Kayla’s new stepfather. At first I went along with it and said things like, “Oh, really?” and “Hmmm.” And Emma went on and on until I finally said, “Emma, I know Kayla’s mom really didn’t marry Dan Rather.”

This just seemed to make Emma angry, and she tried harder and harder to convince me until I just let the subject drop and ignored anything else Emma said about Kayla’s mom and Dan rather.

I remember later telling Phill about it, and how I thought it was a joke, but how Emma got so upset when I didn’t believe her. It was just really odd behavior. You Psych people will have to tell me what you think, because to this day, I wonder if they way Emma was acting should have been an early warning sign of a potential problem.

Another early story was about Sheree’s boyfriend (now husband), Jeff. Emma might have been about 10 or 11 when we found out Sheree had a boyfriend. He wasn’t usually around when Phill and I dropped off or picked up Emma at Sheree’s house, so I can’t remember how we found out about him, but fine, whatever.

One day, after being over at Kayla’s, Emma and I were home, and she was talking about her visit. She mentioned Jeff, and I asked if he had any children, and Emma told me he had a three year old boy, but the boy lived with his mother. Oh, ok. Sounds plausible, right?

It had to be a year or so later when Emma had been over at Sheree’s home to see Kayla, and she was telling me about what they did that weekend, etc. and I asked if Jeff’s little boy had been over that weekend. Emma told me that Jeff didn’t have a little boy. I reminded her that she had told me some time back that he had a son. Emma denied it, and I figured it wasn’t worth arguing about, and thought perhaps she’d been confused. Maybe it was a neighbor who had a three year old or whatever and Emma didn’t have the story straight. I let it go, but it bothered me for quite some time because it just seemed odd. Later, when I found out about many of the lies Emma had told, I wondered if this was one of those times where she didn’t know the answer when I asked if Jeff had any kids, so she just made it up.

As Emma got older, her lies got more interesting and a little more vicious. More to come……….

Mental Illness? Personality Disorder? Or Lack of Conscience/Character?

Posted on November 5, 2013 by losingemma

(Edited and Updated Nov. 10, 2013)

Some time back, one of Emma’ friends called me to fill me in on some things Emma was saying at the time. Some things were about me, and some things were about others. I was wondering about Emma’s propensity for telling stories about others. Is she deliberately lying just to talk or for attention? Does she lie to hurt people, although many folks don’t often know what she says about them? I was speaking with this friend, and I asked if this person thought Emma actually believed that she was sexually molested by a priest and did she actually believe that the mother who raised her, homeschooled her for 5 years, took care of her, loved her, encouraged and took her to any extracurricular activity she wanted to try, etc. could actually have hurt her. I was a little shocked and saddened when this person, someone close to Emma, told me they thought Emma was very manipulative and knew exactly what she was doing. I am also saddened to say that this answer didn’t surprise me. I think I knew this all along.

Isn’t that an odd place for a mother to be? You love your child, and you do the best you can to raise them to be a decent human being, and then you find yourself in a place almost wishing she were mentally ill just to explain the horrible things she’s done. I’ve never liked dealing with mental illness. I’ve known people with it, seen how it affects families, and often it is just too difficult. There aren’t any easy answers and everyone hurts. Often, there is no happy ending. Yet, here I was thinking I’d rather believe my child is mentally ill than to believe she would do all the hateful, hurtful things she’s done with no regard for anyone but herself. I tried to raise Emma to do right. It’s not complicated. Just do right, or in the psychobabble that Emma loves so much, to “Make Good Choices.” Instead, I am wondering if I raised a child lacking character, and perhaps even lacking a conscience. Also, Emma is a coward.

A few mental health professionals that I’ve spoken with have suggested that Emma could have a personality disorder such as antisocial personality, delusional thinking, schizophrenia, etc. I will go into more on these later. Of course my knowledge is very limited on these topics, but my knowledge of Emma runs pretty deep.

I have a lot to say on Emma’s descent into therapy as well, and will tell you all about our experiences with Emma’s therapists:
Suzie A McGarvey, North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, LLC http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com/ (Suzie was formerly with Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com/)
Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett, Manna Treatment,http://www.mannatreatment.com/our_staff
Dr. Richard Born, Applied Psycholocgical Health http://appliedpsychhealth.com/
Rachelle Hutchinson, Emily Kirby,Tamesha, Candace Whitman, of the Social Empowerment Center (DFACS therapists) http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com/
Heather Thompson, Jefferson High School, counselor http://jhs.jeffcityschools.org/faculty-directory.html
Peachford Hospital (Charter Peachford) http://www.peachford.com/
Jackson County DFCS http://dfcs.dhs.georgia.gov/jackson-county-dfcs-office

Another goal of mine is to expose Emma’s lying. As I mentioned before, I’d been thinking a lot about Emma’s lying and wondering how far back it goes. When did Emma cross over from normal childhood lies into something worse?

In the coming pages, I will document more of Emma’s lies since that is what has been heavily on my mind. Emma told so many stories about school (when she did go to public school), kids she knew from school and church, pastors (Priests), choir directors, teachers, drugs and sex going on in school, pregnant teens (some of this I’ve already mentioned if you skim around the blog). Did Johnny really try to kiss her when they were in the play together at Jackson County Comprehensive High School? And why did Emma tell me one story, but make it sound so much more sinister for her friend “Lacey?” (I’ll share more about this later. I have to go through all of Lacey’s letters again to find it.) Emma claimed that Johnny was in 11th grade and was engaged. Really? Were all the girls who worked on the backstage crew at JCCHS really lesbians?

Coming up next, I’m going to share some stories Emma told about her friend Kayla and Kayla’s family. Emma and Kayla were friends from about 4th grade, and now Kayla is a married lady. Over the years, Emma told stories about Kayla, her husband, her sister-in-law, her mother, and grandparents. When I share what Emma said about these folks, you are going to wonder, with friends like this………………..

More Lies and Other Stories (Childhood Lies)

Posted on October 27, 2013 by losingemma

UPDATED NOV. 3, 2013 (scroll down)

(If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma is now living in Ohio at the home of her fiance’s grandparents, attending Wright State University http://www.wright.edu/, and talking about getting married to T. Emma claims her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to Ohio to get away from her mother. She also claims her future mother-in-law lives in fear that Emma’s mother will show up and kill her entire family.

All children lie. All parents know this. When does lying become a problem? One mental health professional told me that it’s a problem when kids lie to hurt others. It can be a problem when it’s become a habit. I think Emma might have developed this habit, but Phill and I didn’t recognize it because we were too trusting. Emma lied about all the normal things kids lie about, doing chores, messes left for mom and dad to find, breaking something, eating all the cookies (candy, or whatever…..) We always thought she lied about small things, and we didn’t look into stories Emma told us that we probably should have. Later, I was to find out that she lied about a lot more than just the little things.

As Emma got older, it got to where she couldn’t be trusted to do many simple chores. I would ask her to do something like putting her clothes away, and unless I told her I was going to go in and check, she would throw the clothes on the floor in her closet rather than put them away, but she would lie and tell me that she had. This happened so often, and Emma would lie so easily, I told her a couple of times that I felt like she could lie as just as soon look at me. At times, I felt like Emma had a problem with lying, but then I’d talk to other parents and felt like these were such small things, that this was normal, right?

Emma also liked to argue. I guess like a lot of kids, she was pretty spoiled and didn’t do a lot of chores, but I tried to give her a few. I always felt kids should have to pitch in, and if nothing else, doing a few chores might make them realize how much mom and dad did around the house. Even with that, when she was really busy with school and had a lot to do, we didn’t make her do her chores. Once in a while we’d have a “family yard day” and have Emma get out and help us with yard work, and if it was something like that, she could be a great help and was willing to work hard, but as for the boring, everyday chores, Emma, like most kids, would get lazy and take shortcuts. When she was supposed to vacuum the kitchen I might come in and watch her and find her lazily swinging the vacuum this way and that and then calling it done. When I would catch her in the act of doing a poor job, I would make her do it over and that would be a battle with lots of crying and yelling, “But I did it!” I would tell her, “Emma, you will spend 40 minutes arguing over a chore that takes you 5 minutes to do!” I thought all this was pretty typical kid stuff and hoped she’d outgrow it, or at least when she grew up and had her own place, appreciate the fact that she really had it pretty easy as a kid.

I’ve wondered how far back Emma’s problem lying goes. Around kindergarten or 1st grade, Emma had problems getting along with a little girl at school. Emma and Erika both wanted to be friends with a little girl named Maddie. I know it’s common for little girls to pair up and they can’t get along in threes. I’ve heard that for years. After some problems at school, Erika’s mom had idea to invite Emma over to their home for a spend-the-night, hoping the two girls would make friends. A little later, we invited Erika over to our house for a spend-the-night. Erika was a cute little girl with older siblings, so maybe that’s why she was a little tougher than Emma, and could stand up for herself fairly well.

Emma Katherine Roey

After Emma spent the night at Erika’s, she told me that Erika’s mother had gone out grocery shopping the evening before, leaving the kids alone at the house. Being somewhat non-confrontational myself, I didn’t want to call up Erika’s mom and ask her this, so I never did, but later, I wondered if Emma made this story up so that I would not let her go to Erika’s home again. Emma and Erika never did make friends, and I thought it was more because of Emma than Erika. When I would see Erika at school, she seemed like she liked Emma, but Emma was never interested in being friends.

Across the street from us, the spring before Kindergarten, a little girl named C. moved in. I was thrilled for Emma to have a playmate right across the street. The girls went to different schools, and with busy schedules, they didn’t see all that much of each other once school started, but Emma and C. got along well. Emma frequently wanted me to play with the two of them. I remember one day around Halloween, they wanted me to play on the trampoline with them and made up a game called, “Witch in the Middle” which was the same as what we called, “Pig in the Middle” or “Keep Away” when I was a kid. I remember relaying the day to Phill and joking about how I didn’t even get to be anything glamorous, I was a witch! Emma often wanted me to play with her and her friends. I didn’t mind being the “fun mom,” but at times thought Emma spent so much time with me that I’d have thought she’d want to play with her friends without me!

Around second grade, Emma decided she had no use for C. C. had a younger cousin that came over frequently, and Emma didn’t get along with her, so this may have been the reason Emma didn’t want to be friends with C. anymore. Emma started telling stories about C. and why she didn’t like her, and to be honest, I don’t really remember most of them, but one struck me as a little odd. Emma made C. out to be boy crazy. I thought little girls really didn’t start noticing boys at that age, but not having a lot of experience with kids that age, I supposed it could be true. Emma told a story about how C. was in love with this boy at school and he had blown his nose in a tissue and put it on C.’s desk, and she brought it home and saved it. (Horrors!) To this day, I don’t know if this story is true or not. At the time, I thought it was a little ridiculous, but it’s not something I was going to bother to look into. I will let you parents of girls tell me what you think about this story. Thinking back to my own second grade, had a boy put a nasty tissue on my desk, I’m sure I would have found it totally disgusting.

(Added Nov 3, 2013)
When Emma was in about 6th grade, we had some friends that Phill and I played cards with about once a month. This couple had two children, a son who was Emma’s age, and a daughter who was a couple years younger than Emma. Because I don’t want to cause this family any pain, I will change the names of the children to Hugh and Hannah. We knew this family through church, and when we decided to start homeschooling Emma, they were very helpful because they’d homeschooled their kids.

Hannah was very much like Emma, bright, assertive, and a leader-type personality. They two girls got along ok, but I wouldn’t say they got along great. I always thought they were too much alike, both liking to be in charge.

Hugh was all boy, energetic, active, sometimes obnoxious. He loved sports. He could be funny and silly, but could also be fairly difficult. Sometimes I thought it was just that he was such an active little boy, but I also thought there was something not quite right. The kids were all in an arts program together, and played ball at the same church program. Emma and Hugh were in the same Sunday school class, and occasionally we did home school activities together. In talking to other people who knew this family, and looking at some of Hugh’s behavior, I suspected that he had Asperger’s Syndrome, but since his parents never talked about his behavior, I figured that either he was not officially diagnosed, or else, they didn’t want their son labeled, and did not act like there was a problem with him. I had studied Autism and Asperger’s in college, and had a couple of friends with autistic children, including Emma’s “other mother” Sandra Brooks McCravy.

Emma complained about Hugh constantly. Since they were in the same class in the arts program, every time she came home, she had some kind of grievance against him. Most of her complaints were fairly minor, and I just assumed they were true, having witnessed how this young man could be. He broke her art project when he hit her backpack, he pushed her, etc., nothing too serious, so I never felt the need to complain to the director of the program.

We’d been getting together with this family fairly regularly for a couple of years, when one night they were at our home for supper. We would usually have supper, and then the kids would go and play for a while and then maybe end up watching a movie while the adults played cards. On this particular evening, Emma and Hannah were playing, and Hugh went out on our sunporch, laid on the sofa and was reading some cartoon books of Emma’s.

Later on, the kids watched a movie, while the adults played cards. I believe the movie that night was Singing in the Rain, and Phill and I got a kick out of seeing the kids enjoy an old classic that we had loved.

The next morning, I asked Emma to straighten up the sun porch, where the kids had been playing, and after a while, she came to me in tears, holding her Tin Tin book. She claimed that Hugh had torn up her book, and upon opening the book, I found almost every page torn precisely in the middle, horizontally, from the outer page to the spine. I questioned Emma about where she found the book, etc., but this was my very smart little girl who loved books! There was no way she would tear up her own book!

When I spoke with Hugh’s mother, she promised to talk to Hugh. Later, at the arts program where we both worked part time, Hugh’s mom wanted me to talk to Hugh, and she stopped Emma between classes and questioned her. When I spoke to Hugh, he could not make eye contact with me, and I took this as a sign of guilt, even though I knew Hugh often times did not make eye contact. That was one of the reason’s I suspected he was Asperger’s.

Emma was very upset that Hugh’s mother questioned her. She claimed that Hugh’s mother was trying to get her to say that she did it. I was a little upset that Hugh’s mother had questioned Emma without getting my permission to do so.

We were at an impasse. I believed Emma and Hugh’s mom believed her son. Hugh’s mom paid for the book, and we rarely spoke after that. Our families no longer got together, and we not longer played cards. All over a $10 book. While I was saddened, Emma was perfectly happy not to get together with this family anymore.

Later on, it gnawed at me the way the book had been torn. Hugh was an active boy, and if her were destructive, I would have thought of him making more of a mess, being more random, and not methodically tearing each page right in the middle which seemed more like a planned behavior. Of course I will probably never know the truth, but this is one story I wanted to share. I am sorry that I didn’t push to get to the bottom of this story, maybe put the two kids in a room together and let them argue it out. To this day, I suspect that I wrongly believed my daughter, and I accused an innocent child of something he probably did not do.

A Worried Mother…..

Posted on October 15, 2013 by losingemma

Thank you to the person who sent this to me. Very cute, and oh, so true!