Posted on May 21, 2017 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Emma and her husband, Tyler Buchheim now live in California where Emma has a career in sales. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

May 14, 2017

Mother’s Day

This is my 7^th Mother’s Day without my daughter. I had 16 Mother’s Days with Emma, and actually the 16^th was pretty lousy, so I really had 15 good Mother’s Days with my daughter. It was just before that 16^th Mother’s day,of 2010 that I had had told my sister in Ct. about Emma’s accusing the priest of sexual molestation. I think that was about the time Emma really began to hate me. I remember picking her up in the car and telling her that I had spoken with her aunt, and Emma was so furious she wouldn’t even speak to me. We were planning a trip to go visit, and my sister and brother-in-law would know something wasn’t right, so I felt I had to tell them. Emma’s control-freak, micro-managing mother was taking things too far, talking to police, counselors, family, friends, etc. The snowball was rolling down hill and picking up speed. All Emma wanted was attention, and she didn’t want the church, the police, the therapists, DFACS, multiple therapists involved. Well, actually, Emma did like some of the attention. She just wanted to pick and choose which attention she received. She loved her hour with the therapists where she had their undivided attention all focused on her for an entire hour. I remember when Emma was middle school age, and Phill kept calling her a drama queen. I thought he was overreacting a little bit to what was a typical pre-teen girl. Maybe he was, but it turned into what Phill used to call a “self-fulfilling prophesy” and Emma became that drama queen that he so often said she was. (And on the flip side, Phill became that dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks-dad that Emma always claimed he was.)

Mother’s Day was usually a quiet holiday in our home. We didn’t do big exciting gifts. Phill might get me some flowers and take Emma out to get me a small gift. That was fine. It was more the attention from Emma, when she was little, that made it a special day. She would hug me multiple times in a day and tell me “Happy Mother’s Day” over and over again. That was what made is special. Or just doing something together was what made it special. Phill might cook me dinner, and do the clean up, and that was a nice treat as well.

I was pretty disappointed in my 2016 Mother’s Day. Emma wanted to play for the Mother’s Day Fashion show after church. She loved all the attention she got for playing the piano, and that was fine. All I had asked for was that afterwards, we have an afternoon at Ft. Yargo, the local state park. I didn’t assume I would have to spell it out, but what I’d meant was a hike and a cookout at the park. For whatever reason, Phill was particularly dense and didn’t bother to get things together for the cookout, and Emma was sulky and sullen, a total non-joy for the afternoon, although at times, she’d put on her fakey smile and pretend like she was enjoying the day. My mother’s day gift from Emma was some candy from the dollar store. No thought or effort involved. I don’t think Emma even got or made me a card that year. Yep, definitely not a banner day.

If you have teenagers, you know how self-centered they can be, and I sure felt like an afterthought, but I knew that was typical for a kid Emma’s age. Occasionally, she could be so sweet and thoughtful, and then on a special day like Mother’s Day, Emma went to absolutely no trouble at all. I was disappointed, but thought that was a typical teen. There were other times, when Emma did something special for me, or was out and brought me home a little something when she was out, which showed me she did think of me, or did appreciate me. One of the sweetest things Emma ever did was to be nice to me when I had a migraine.

I suffered from migraines for years and would go lie in the darkened bedroom with the pillow over my eyes, and Emma would come in and hold my hand and always want to make me a cup of tea. Often times, I was nauseated and really didn’t want the tea, but Emma loved to do it for me, so I took it and thanked her and sipped on it. It was those things she did with love that meant so much to me.

Mother’s Day is difficult for a lot of women, and men too. Some people have lost their mothers. Some couples struggle with infertility and don’t know if they will every be parents. Some mothers have children far away in the military, or in prison, or just far away in another country. And many mothers have children like Emma, who are estranged or mentally ill or on drugs. The internet makes the world a very small place, and I’ve found that many mothers (and fathers) are dealing with the same thing that I have endured for the last 7 years.

I’m sorry Emma has turned out like she has, but I still had the joy of being a mother. The first few years were amazing. How I adored my precious little girl. When she was a baby, it seemed like whatever I did, I did with her in my arms or on my hip. When she was preschool age, I was still the one she wanted to help her with things or to kiss her boo-boos. It’s funny how you go from being that “My mom can do anything” kind of mom to the “My mom is so stupid” kind of mom in the blink of an eye.

In Emma’s case, I think homeschooling was a mistake. Someone pointed out to me that Phill and I didn’t want to see that there was a problem with Emma, and we didn’t realize how much she lied. This person mentioned that other kids would have caught on to Emma pretty quickly and she wouldn’t have been able to pull off a lot of the lies that she did. Kids her own age would have been a lot more savvy than her parents who were blinded by the love for their daughter. Of course, that has also made me wonder if it could have made Emma even worse, and maybe she would have turned into an even better liar had she attended school and been around other kids, some of who were probably just as devious as our sweet Emma.

But, for some people, homeschooling is amazing, and I did get to see some glimpses of that. It was amazing to see Emma grow and learn, and when she really was interested in a topic, seeing her research it on her own. Homeschooling sort of opened up the world to teach one that we are learning all the time, not just until 2:45 when school lets out.

I know for some kids, pulling away is normal. Just before going off to college, kids can be so obnoxious and unpleasant, that the parents want them to go away, and it helps the kids to break away and become more independent. Of course, most kids don’t go to the extreme that Emma did, lying about sexual abuse, accusing a priest, making up stories about a fake suicide attempt, lying about a friend’s mother’s illness, lying about her own mother…

I was reading some books recently and wondering if Emma had read them. We used to have a lot of good discussions about books. I miss that. Other times, I think how I was that boring “mom” and I was just a mom, the lowest of the low in Emma’s eyes. I’m lucky now that I have job I like, and working with the public, I definitely acquire some stories about work, and I miss being able to tell Emma about things, like when I worked at Master’s Academy and we would talk about our classes. Sometimes something will happen at work and I’ll think that instead of that boring introverted mother, Emma might actually think I was cool, and maybe now she wouldn’t look down on her ol’ boring mother. I wish we could talk and I could hear about her job selling insurance. How did she choose to go into this field? It’s a long way from the pediatrician my little girl wanted to become, not that that’s a bad thing. Most of us don’t choose our career when we’re in the 2^nd grade. I would love to know how Emma became an insurance agent? Did she finish college or does she plan on it? I’m assuming Tyler is working on his Master’s, only because I’d always heard that you couldn’t really do much with a B.S. Architecture, even from a school like Notre Dame. Does Emma like her job? She does have the personality to make a good salesperson, I think. I would think all her drama classes would contribute to convincing people to buy insurance too.

I was also thinking lately about how lucky I am that at least I know Emma is not alone out in California. She is married and with Tyler, so it does give me some comfort knowing my daughter is not in this big bad world all alone. I’ve known several people who are or were the parents of addicts and often (sometimes for years) had no idea where their children were or if they were even alive. As bad as this whole experience has been, I know it could be worse. At least I know Emma’s safe and not living on the streets somewhere.

So, for all you Mothers out there who are the parents of those “nightmare children,” just know that you are not alone. We may life in the shadows, because we have that child that we can’t brag about, and we are that mom that no one wants to be, but we are still moms, and just because our baby has taken a very bad turn, they are still our baby. Some kids will turn their lives around, and give their mom that happy ending. Others will go on whatever destructive path they have chosen, and they may have broken your heart, but you’ve survived. We mothers are a tough bunch.

Lots of Love to you, dear readers. You can contact me through the website or e-mail me at losingemma@gmail.com

Emma Getting Married—A Mother’s thoughts

Posted on August 15, 2015 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma and fiance Tyler Albert Buchheim.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

For those of you attending Emma’s wedding, I hope everyone knows it is still Sept. 19, 2015, but the location has changed from Port Girardeau, MO to Santa Rosa, CA. Gee, I feel sorry for the people who go their plane tickets already  (wink wink) Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s an Ohio wedding?

In 2012, I heard Emma was engaged to Tyler Buchheim, an architecture student from West Chester Township, Ohio, who attended Notre Dame University and whom Emma had met on line. I had mixed feelings. She was 19, and too young and immature to be engaged, and Tyler was her first boyfriend, but I was also saddened, no, heartbroken, that I didn’t hear about Emma meeting Tyler, falling in love, etc. from Emma. I felt like in addition to all I’d missed with Emma starting college, I’d missed hearing about something else that was so special in Emma’s life. She’s my daughter, and even with all the horrible things she’s done, I do love her, and I want to see her happy and to have a normal life, even though now I don’t think that is possible. Emma will never have a “normal” life.

I was sad at the thought of missing all the wedding things with Emma like seeing her walk down the aisle to marry the man she loves, helping her with arrangements, going dress shopping, attending her shower, etc.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Of course, later on, I was to find out that there was no engagement, according to Tyler’s mom, Sherry Buchheim, who e-mailed me several times and told me that Tyler was not ready to get in engaged, etc. Who knows, maybe Sherry was lying to cover up for Emma. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. I still find it odd that a family from Ohio would let their son’s girlfriend move from Georgia to Ohio, to move in with the boyfriend’s grandparents, if the relationship was not fairly serious. They’d even taken Emma on vacation to Hilton Head and even had professional pictures made of Emma and Tyler.

I felt obligated to warn Tyler’s family about what they were getting into, and saw no point in e-mailing a young man who was in love. Who would he believe? His girlfriend? Or her mother whom he’d never met? Instead, I contacted Tyler’s mother, Sherry Buchheim, and told her briefly what Emma had done. I gave her my name, address, phone number and e-mail address and told her I would be happy to answer any questions she might have. (I’ve already written about this, so dear readers, you can go back and read about “Bud the Boyfriend” to get the full story about Emma and Tyler Buchheim.) I knew that Emma marrying anyone was going to be a disaster.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Now, when I think about Emma getting married, it just makes me sad for her. What kind of marriage can she have? But then again, I am glad Emma’s getting married. She won’t be able to hide her crazy (with apologies to Miranda Lambert—I love that song!) forever, and once the newness and excitement wears off, and the young groom is close to Emma, living with her day in and day out, her husband is going to see that something’s not right. Eventually, the marriage will end in disaster, but of course, nothing will be Emma’s fault.

I was discussing this with a friend, who knew Emma a few years ago, and I guess after everything Phill and Emma put me through, I’ve come a long way. I was telling her that I don’t even feel like I’m missing anything by not attending Emma’s wedding because I feel like the whole thing is such a farce. Her marriage is just the countdown until the first divorce. Or, as my friend put it, it’s the countdown until the next train wreck.

Emma will have her wedding day, her pretty dress, her handsome groom, her wedding gifts, her honeymoon, and she will be the star of the show. But just wait until Act Two.

Special thanks to Face in Hole for the fun website! Emma and I used to do those Jib Jab things where you put the face in (or the dog’s face!) and when I saw this site, I thought this was the kind of thing we would have sat there and played with, laughing hysterically as we made funny pictures.

Since I won’t be attending Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t help making a few bridal pictures. This one reminds me of Hillary Clinton. Sorry, Emma, I know you would hate that comparison! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

The Rewards of Being a Victim

Posted on August 26, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story.

The Rewards of Being a Victim

Before Phill took out the Temporary Protective Order, to have me removed from my home, we had to come up with places for Emma to stay. After all, she wanted to go live in a group home. My thought was that she needed to live in a group home and to see what it’s like for kids who didn’t have it as good as she did. Let her meet kids who really were abused or who came from bad situations. Emma’s life would look like the life of a princess compared to some of these kids. She had two parents who loved her and she was allowed to do almost anything she wanted (within reason). She never lacked for food, clothes, or a warm bed. Of course once, when Emma and I got into an argument over something she wanted (I can’t remember what it was now.) and she didn’t get her way, she got angry and screamed at me, “YOU HAD ME! YOU OWE ME!” At the time, I thought it was a pretty ugly thing to say, but we all say things we don’t mean in anger. Emma said a lot of ugly things over the years, but for some reason, this one stuck with me probably more than any other. It sort of haunted me, and it still does. I’m sad to say that I really felt like this was in insight into Emma’s world. Emma felt like we owed her.

When Emma stayed with friends and neighbors, she got treated like a beloved guest with dinners, plays, clothes, trips to the beauty shop, etc. After all, who wouldn’t want to do something nice for a poor abused child who was beaten and poisoned by her mother? Emma made out like a bandit. I will share about some of the people Emma stayed with, and how Emma took advantage. I’m sure I only know a few of the rewards Emma collected. There’s probably a lot more that I don’t know.

From what Phill told me, Emma mostly stayed with our neighbors, John and Judy Hall, but she also stayed with some other neighbors, Randall and Cora Andrews, and one of Phill’s RC plane buddies and his wife, Mike and Wendy Timms who lived not far from us in Hoschton, but now live in Dacula, Ga. Since Emma didn’t want to see me, I didn’t always know where she was. Phill just told me what he wanted to.

Judy worked part time for salon in Brasleton, and the one time I got to see Emma, sitting in the van, she’d had her hair done. Since about 9th grade, Emma frequently used a straight iron on her hair, and it was very straight, cut in layers and looked very pretty. Phill told me that Emma had wanted to get her hair cut, but I wouldn’t let her. Well, as you can see from this photo, that’s not true.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy at a taping of the Sean Hannity Show.

Judy was a petite lady, but because of some health problems, she put on some weight, and she gave Emma a bunch of clothes. Emma always was a clothes horse, so from what Phill told me, she was thrilled about that.

At first, the Hall’s were driving Emma to school, and I think Phill was paying them to at least cover gas money. Emma had a permit, but Phill did not want Emma to get her driver’s license until she was 18. Funny thing was, once he got rid of his wife, he let Emma go ahead and get her license so she could drive herself. From what some of the neighbors told me, she then totaled two cars and she may have gotten a ticket in New Jersey. She had failed the test for her permit the first time, so I’ve often wondered how she did on her driver’s test. With her dad being a truck driver, you’d think she would have had plenty of lessons, but I missed this milestone in my daughter’s life, so I really don’t know how she did on the driving test.

When John and Judy went out of town, Emma stayed with our neighbors, Cora and Randall Andrews who lived behind us, and across the street from Judy and John Hall. Randall worked with Phill at UPS and was the union steward until he fell on the job and if I remember right, damaged both rotator cuffs. Randall was a hard worker, and when he wasn’t at UPS, he did tractor work on the side. After winning a settlement with UPS, Randall became a truck driving instructor. Since his wife was a teacher, he liked to joke that they were both teachers. Cora stayed home with the kids when they were little and then went back to teaching P.E. and also went back to school to get her Ph.D. in P.E. She then became a coach at Jackson County Commprehensive High School.

Phill was a big help to Cora when she was working on her Ph.D. He helped her with computer work, and Cora even thanked him in her dissertation. Phill got a kick out of that she mentioned him, but didn’t even mention her husband in her acknowledgement.

Randall and Cora had two boys who Emma played with when she was little, but once the kids started school, they didn’t see much of each other. When the kids were little, we helped each other out, occasionally watching each other’s kids. Phill and I even kept the boys when Randall had a heart attack and was in the hospital.

When Emma started high school at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she never had anything nice to say about her former playmates. She claimed they always looked high or looked to be on something at school. Knowing how involved the boys were in school, and how involved their parents were, I didn’t believe this for a minute. I’m sure they boys weren’t perfect angels, but they both were very involved in sports and other school activities. Since Emma claimed she often saw them looking this way in the morning when she went to school, I suspected they might have been sleepy because it was early in the morning and with sports and homework, they were probably short on sleep. Emma went on and on about them and I remember at one point she tried to convince me that the younger son had a reputation for partying and using drugs. Both of these boys went on to college, and the younger son turned down an appointment to West Point to go to UGA and even got some scholarship money.

Emma also talked about Cora (Dr. Andrews) when she went to JCCHS. Emma had a coach named Coach Beaver for P.E. and Freshman Focus class. Coach Beaver, according to Emma, also moonlighted as a cop in Statham, Ga., and would tell the kids about all the drug problems in Statham.

According to Emma, Coach Beaver and Dr. Andrews had some sort of rivalray. Emma claimed that one time, in P.E. class, Dr. Andrews walked through the gym and told Emma to put some nets or something away when they were done. She said when they finished, she started putting the nets away and Coach Beaver yelled at Emma and asked her what she was doing. When she stated that Dr. Andrews had asked her to put the nets away, Emma said Coach Beaver told her to leave the nets where they were and if Dr. Andrews wanted the nets put away, she could do it herself. Did this really happen? I never asked neither Cora, nor Coach Beaver, but I’m guessing probably not, just like I’m guessing that Coach Beaver didn’t moonlight as a policeman.

Since I’m on the topic of Coach Beaver, I will mention a couple of other funny things Emma said about Coach Beaver. She claimed that Coach Beaver and her political science teacher (I can’t remember his name.) lived across the street from each other. This was during the 2008 election. Emma claimed that Coach Beaver was a conservative and her political science teacher was a liberal, so they both tried to out-do each other with signs in their yards for their particular candidate. Hmmm. I wonder what the odds are of these two teachers living across from each other and being political rivals ?

While staying with the Andrews, Emma went got to go see a play at her old high school under her favorite teacher, Bonnie Roberts, who was the drama teacher. (I will have another whole essay to write about Emma’s experience being in Drama at JCCHS, including confirmation from Ms. Roberts as to some of the lies Emma told about Drama.)

Emma also stayed at the home of Mike and Wendy Timms, one of Phill’s RC plane buddies. I might have met Mike at an RC event, but I’m not sure. Mike and Wendy have to daughter a few years younger than Emma, and one of them shares Emma’s name. They also had the fact that the girls were home schooled in common. I know the Timms family often went to the week-long RC event, SEFF, down in Americus, Ga. because Phill and Emma both talked about them being there.

Emma spent a weekend at the Timms’ home when they still lived in Hoschton. With the Timms family, Emma went out to eat Mexican food, and went to see a play that her latest crush, Johnathan McCravy, happened to have a role in. I think she also went to church that Sunday with the family. If I remember right, they went out for Mexican after church.

After I was removed from my home, Emma also spent some time with her friend Kayla Benifield Weaver, at the home of Kayla’s mom and stepdad, Sheree and Jeff Barwise, not far from home. Anytime Emma went to Kayla’s they ate out a lot because Emma claimed that Sheree didn’t cook, and I have a cute picture of a group of them going bowling.

This victim thing really paid off for Emma. She was treated like a guest everywhere she went (No chores!) and there were so many wonderful fringe benefits like meals out, plays, clothes, shopping, etc. It’s tough being a victim.

Coming up next…………………………………..The NEW Woman of the House! (OR, The Girl Who Would Be Me)

Emma’s Descent into Therapy, Part 2, Manna Treatment and Counseling

Posted on May 14, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Emma’s boyfriend/fiance eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

(Thank you. You know who you are.)

Manna Treatment Part 2

After we returned from vacation, Emma had her first visit with Dr. Genie Burnett (Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett) at Manna Treatment & Counseling, Duluth, Ga. Emma and I went to meet Dr. Burnett together the first time. Her office was very nicely decorated, and she was young, trendy-looking, loved shoes, and she drove some sort of SUV with “Manna”

Dr. Burnett talked a lot more about herself than I would have thought a therapist would have, telling us about her own history and eating disorder, and she brought her own history up, I think, on every session I sat in on. This just surprised me. Granted my only experience with therapy to this point had been what I’d seen on television, but I just assumed the therapist would sort of keep themselves out of it. On television, they always seem to be trying to get the patient to talk.

Before we left that first session, Dr. Genie Burnett prayed with us, and this was something that was very important to Emma. She definitely wanted a Christian counselor.

Emma really liked Dr. Burnett. She thought she was cool. I can’t say I was crazy about her, but if Emma liked her, that was all I wanted. I thought Emma needed a professional to talk to, and my feelings about Dr. Burnett didn’t matter as she was not my therapist. (Even though she did diagnose me with Paranoid Borderline Personality disorder by asking Emma questions about me! At $135/hr in 2010, I guess we were getting a 2 for 1 !!!) I didn’t think Dr. Burnett seemed like a very warm person, maybe a little snooty, and I wondered if she had had some enhancement surgery, but none of this mattered. I guess I was doing my own evaluation of Dr. Burnett, thinking that if she had battled an eating disorder and had a low opinion of herself, she probably would probably be the type to have gotten plastic surgery.

At Emma’s sessions, she usually went in alone. Phill and I went with her once or twice, and I went with her a few times, but usually just for a few minutes.

On some visits, I brought the family dog, Spike, and took walks while Emma was in therapy. Of course bringing Spike brought it’s own set of complications, but I was determined not to give into Emma. I was spending a good 2+ hours driving back and forth, and then waiting around for her on those therapy days, and if I wanted to bring our dog to have a walking buddy, I should have been allowed to. Emma complained about everything with Spike. She sat up front with me, but complained that I brought him, when I put the windows down in the back for him, etc. I often thought I was getting a taste of what it would have been like if Emma had a sibling.

Emma had done the same thing with the dog we had before Spike. I always thought it was a jealousy problem. Like in a lot of households, mom is the one who takes care of the dogs, and the dogs always paid more attention to me than to anyone else in the family. That was just the way it was, but Emma was always fairly mean to Spike. She would ignore him when she came home and he ran to her, excited to see her. I would tell her to say hello to him, and she would say a very monotone “Hi Spike.” But not bother to pet him or otherwise acknowledge him. Occasionally, I would see Emma hit, kick, or push Spike out of her way when she had plenty of room to walk around him. My sister also saw some of this behavior when she visited. It upset me greatly, as we volunteered with a dog/cat rescue organization, and here was Emma being abusive to our own dog. I really think Emma could not stand the attention that I paid to Spike, and it made me so sad that Spike always loved Emma. Talk about unconditional love! He was always happy to see her and tried to get some attention from her, but like dogs do, he never held a grudge as to how she treated him.

Emma started out seeing Dr. Genie Burnett twice a week, and then when school started, I think that was too difficult, so she began seeing her once a week. On the ride home, I tried to give Emma her privacy about her sessions. I didn’t ask what she talked about, but usually just asked, “How did it go?”

During the time we were seeing Dr. Burnett, we had stopped attending our church, but I wanted Emma doing something with other kids, so I told her we needed to find her another youth group to attend. She went to a couple and didn’t like them, and then started attending the youth group at the Hamilton Mill 12 Stone Church on Wednesday evenings. We had attended a neighborhood Bible study for about 5 years, and many of our friends there attended 12 Stone. Once a year, 12 Stone did a CIA Day (Compassion in Action) and Emma went with one of our neighbors to help at one of the volunteer locations. She made balloon animals and did face painting for the children. Something that just occurred to me is that when Emma came home she talked about what a bad area this was. (It was a trailer park.) Emma claimed it was an area with a lot of drugs and that she saw all kinds of syringes on the ground. Hmmmmmm. I e-mailed some of the people who were at the event, and was told that they were warned before they went out there that was drug use in that area. I wonder if Emma was the only one who saw syringes on the ground, or did any other folks? Since Emma exaggerated so much about drugs and sex going on in high school, I just assuming that since the volunteers were warned about drug use in the area, Emma probably made up the part about seeing syringes on the ground.

Emma went with a neighbor to Aubun, Ga. to assist with a day of Compassion in Action with 12 Stone Church. She made balloon animals for the children.

More to come…………that’s all the time I have tonight

12 Stone was a big church with a big youth group, and seemed like a nice place for Emma to get involved.

Emma’s Descent into Therapy Part 2, Preface to Manna Treatment (Continued)

Posted on May 6, 2014 by losingemma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. Emma is a young woman who made up a story about a story about a cyber friend being raped and claimed it brought up her own “repressed memories” of a priest of molesting her. As her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the suit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. I am that mother. Emma claims to have toxicology reports showing that I poisoned her with DDT, essentially accusing me of ATTEMPTED MURDER, but refuses to turn over these reports to my attorney. She also claims that while living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, her boyfriend’s mother was afraid I would show up and kill her entire family. When I contacted the boyfriend’s mother, she told me that this was “ridiculous.” Emma’s boyfriend/fiance eventually broke up with her when he had his own doubts about Emma.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Manna Treatment and Counseling and Dr. Genie Burnett

Emma, Nathan, Johnathan McCravy, and Derek McCravy on a homeschool fieldtrip to the William Harris Homestead.

I’ll be the first to admit I had no clue in how to go about choosing a therapist. After claiming to be sexually abused by a priest at our church, I felt like Emma needed to talk to a “professional” who could help her deal with what happened. Earlier, I mentioned that when Emma went to speak to a therapist at the Tree House in Winder, Ga, Emma was uncooperative. Phill and I gave Emma a break for about a month, and then decided she would see a therapist after we returned from visiting family in early July.

The Deacon at our church, who had been instrumental in helping us file a complaint against the priest Emma accused, recommended a therapist, and my friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy) recommended her therapist, Dr. Genie Burnett. All I knew about Dr. Burnett was that Sandi had seen her off and on for about 11 years at that point. Sandi had had an eating disorder and had abused laxatives many years before. She told me that Dr. Genie Burnett primarily treated eating disorders but because a lot of eating disorders stemmed from sexual abuse, Dr. Burnett had a lot of experience with girls like Emma. Sandi had gone to private sessions with Dr. Burnett as well as group therapy along with other women. Sandi frequently confided in me about her sessions with Dr. Genie Burnett and told me what she talked to her about. I remember a lot of it was issues with her family, primarily her mother, but also Sandi had issues with her brother and his wife who were more affluent than Sandi and Greg, and issues with her sister, the former beauty queen.

Dr. Burnett also treated Sandi’s son, Derek who suffered with Asperger’s, a mild form of Autisim. At one point, Sandi told me that Dr. Burnett was the one who had diagnosed Derek when he was about 8 years old, but some time before that, Sandi had been in denial about Derek’s problems and had told me all his problems were related to food allergies. She went to see various people about alternative medicine therapies and frequently had Derek on some kind of supplement that was supposed to keep him in check. She claimed that he couldn’t eat gluten or dairy, but if he wanted pizza she could just give him some supplements and he could eat what he wanted. Sandi frequently tried things that I thought were a little odd to me. One time, Sandi bought some sort of foot soak that was supposed to pull toxins out of your body if you just soaked your feet in it. I thought it sounded ridiculous, but Sandi claimed that her godmother, Wren, who had been battling cancer, used one of these things and had recommended it. I remember her telling me it cost something ridiculous, like $600, but Sandi got a deal on hers. I thought the whole thing was bizarre and a waste of money, but people will do what they will do.

Sandi raved about Dr. Genie Burnett when she was telling me how Dr. Burnett was the one to diagnose Derek, but on a previous occasion, Sandi had confided in me that when the boys were little and she was on government assistance, one of the doctors who saw the kids tried to tell her that Derek had autism, but she wouldn’t accept it. I don’t remember what government program the boys were on. Since we live in Georgia, it may have been PeachCare, but Sandi took the boys out of the program because she didn’t want that diagnosis on Derek’s record. She stayed in denial about his problems for many years, and I remember once when a woman named Ruth, who we worked with us gave, Sandi’s name and phone number to a lady who had a child with autism, and the woman called Sandi, Sandi was furious. She called me up, ranting and raving that Ruth had no right to give her phone number to this woman because Derek did not have autisim!

There were so many inconsistencies in what Sandi told me about Derek and autism, but I never questioned her. Sandi was always super sensitive on the issue, and knowing how we mamas are fiercely protective of our kids, I just let it go.

Derek’s senior year of high school, Sandi began falling apart, calling me frequently, crying, sometimes hysterically, over the thought of Derek going off to college. Derek is a very bright young man and received a scholarship to Mercer University in Macon, Ga. I frequently had to “talk Sandi down” as Phill liked to phrase it, and I reassured her that he would be fine, and that Macon was not that far away, and if she wanted, I would drive down there with her to see him.

Derek, on the other hand, seemed just fine about the thought of going off to college, but Sandi thought he needed to see Dr. Genie Burnett at Manna Treatment on a regular basis before he went off to live in the dorm. Because of Derek’s diagnosis, he was able to get a private room in the dorm, and he went off to college happy and excited about his new adventure. In the typical teenage fashion, Sandi complained that he did not call home enough.

Probably the deciding factor in choosing a counselor was that Dr. Genie Burnett was a Christian counselor, and Emma, being a conservative Christian, wanted to go to a Christian counselor. I didn’t really care who Emma went to as long as it was someone she felt comfortable with and someone she could talk to, so we made an appointment with Dr. Genie Burnett.

to be continued……………

Losing Emma

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