My daughter Emma Katherine Roey, now Emma Buchheim, lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story.  Emma and her current husband, Tyler Buchheim live in Frisco, Texas where Tyler, who has put architecture on hold, is studying to be a Full Stack Developer at the Flatiron School in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis (according to Tyler).  Emma works in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area as an insurance underwriter.   Emma and Tyler are the parents to two little dogs, Arya and Sansa.  (Emma is a huge Game of Thrones fan.)  Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Part 2

The Car

The Cars were again something in Phill’s domain. Phill was a very sweet husband and he liked taking care of me. After we’d been married quite a while, maybe 20 years, Phill started ordering me for me at restaurants. No, I don’t mean he chose my food, but I would say, “I think I’d like the _______”, so the server would come and Phill would order his meal and then say, “And my wife will have the______.” I have to admit, the first time he did it, I thought it was a little odd, but then it just seemed sweet. Phill was proud of our marriage and liked saying that we had the longest lasting marriage in his family. Phill always didn’t need to worry about the banking because he would take care of it. (Of course this may be because Phill knew I could never balance my checkbook before we were married.) I wanted to learn the online banking, and he reluctantly started to teach me just before he threw me out of our home. I wanted to learn some computer things and Phill would tell me not to worry about it because I’d always have him to help me. Phill set up the television linking it with the computer, and I barely knew how to use it. BTW, I’m still not good with those things, but I learned the online banking myself and even pay my own bills with it now! It’s not hard, even for a technidope like me!  So, in my 50’s, I’m learning how to do a lot of things on my own that I probably should have learned in my 20’s, but back then, I had a husband who wanted to take care of me, and stupidly, I let him.

Phill handled oil changes and did them himself, maybe not real regularly, but he did them. He also dealt with the mechanics, and all I did was to follow him over to drive him home, or drive him back to pick up the car. Not knowing anything about cars, I was fine with that. My father did make us learn how to change a tire when we were teens, but that was back in the day before the tire dealers didn’t use this electric equipment to put on the lug nuts. Back in the day when you could actually get the lug nuts off!

So, recently, the CPM, the computer brain, went out on my car. When this happens, the car defaults to 2^nd gear. It is a 12 year old car, and it’s been a good car, so it was probably due for some repairs. When my mechanic told me I would have to go to a dealer for the PCM, I did that. I had used the dealer where I used to live for about 6 years, but with the whole 2^nd gear thing, I thought I’d rather go someplace closer, so I did. My whole experience with the LD (local dealer) was pretty awful, but in the end, the service manager made it right, so my aim is not to bash the dealer. I am not going to mention their name. I am truly hoping my experience was an anomaly.

On March 28, 2018, I called the dealer to see if I needed to make an appointment. No one called me back, so I went in on March 29. A service rep took my information and said they would diagnose the car. Some time later, the SR agreed with my mechanic and told me they could order the parts. I had my choice of dealer parts ($$$) or after market ($$), and since they had to order the parts I was told I would have to prepay, so I put $921.58 on my credit card. (I also had to prepay $240 for labor which had not yet been performed, but whatever.)

The SR told me the parts would be in on Monday 4/2, so I said great! I was working lot of overtime that week and had one day off in 9 days, and that was Wednesday, so that would work out well. I could bring my car in and get it taken care of. The SR told me not to drive it on the highway, and said he would call me on Monday. I told him I would be at work and to leave me a voice mail, and he said when I called him back, he would probably be with customers, and I could leave him a voice mail. The cashier joked about us playing phone tag.

Monday comes and no phone call. Tuesday, no phone call, so I call and leave the SR message to see if my parts are in. No return call.

Wednesday, I call the SR again and leave a voice mail. Then, about an hour later, because I’m annoyed, I start making phone calls, trying to find someone who can just tell me if my parts are there. It is my day off, and I won’t be able to get in there for another week if I don’t get my car repaired that day. Finally, I reach the Service Manager (SM), tell him the story, and he says he will check. A short time later, my SR calls to tell me the parts that he told me would be there on Mon. are not in. Then he says, “Sorry I didn’t call you back. It’s spring break, and we’re busy.” (Example #1 of What NOT to say to your customer.) My first thought was that well, since I prepaid, they already had my money, so why not put me off until the following week so they could take care of all the spring break business.

The SR then also tells me that he never said he’d call me and that the parts department would call me when the parts came in. (I don’t know if he was deliberately lying, but as you can see from the above paragraph, that was not true. Strike #2)

Well, one thing I have learned, when someone starts maybe not treating me appropriately, I take notes. I began writing down every phone call, whom I spoke to, what was said, etc. Thank goodness for cell phones that keep track of phone calls!

A few days later, as I’m driving to work on a Sat. on 4/2, I call the SR to check on the update and he actually answers his phone. Still no parts. SR tells me he put in “inquiry” on the parts, whatever that means. Of course it wasn’t until I got off the phone that I thought, “Why didn’t they just re-order the parts?” I asked the SR to call me on Monday to let me know and he said he would.

Monday comes, and no call from my dear friend, SR. On Tuesday, I call and leave him a voice mail. I wait an hour or so, and then call the SM to check on my parts. He checks into it and tells me the parts should be there on Thursday. 11 days after what they originally told me, but ok. Things happen.

A short time later, the SR calls me back, sounding rather defensive and states he got my messages, but he didn’t know anything, so he didn’t call me. (WTH?) I sweetly asked, “You couldn’t call me to tell me you didn’t know anything?” and that sent the SR into a tirade about how he wasn’t going to call me if he didn’t know, and after he got my messages he tried to check on the parts and he would call me when he found out something, but he wasn’t going to call if he didn’t know……… (Strike 3 just for being a jerk)

Let me just interrupt this story to say that I work in an industry where there are problems and delays pretty much daily. I have learned it makes a big difference if I keep people informed on what I do know, why there is a delay, and sometimes I even tell them, “I’m just letting you know I don’t know anything, but I will let you know as soon as I do.” People don’t want to think you’ve forgotten them. It’s not rocket science. AND…..sometime during all this aggravation, I get a text from the dealer asking if I would fill out a survey on my experience. (Note to LD: You might want to have actually provided the service before you request feedback on it.) I just think to myself, “Oh, you bet’cha I’ll fill out your survey! In fact, I’ll go on line and write reviews for Yelp, Google, and whatever other review sites I can find!)

Also, I am a fairly reasonable person. If my parts were lost in the mail, or someone forgot to order them, and you told me, I would not be thrilled, but I’m a big girl and I can handle a little disappointment. I understand these things, while inconvenient, do happen. I’m not unrealistic enough to think that they don’t. This whole ugly business could have completely been avoided by a couple of returned phone calls just to let me know what was going on.

Ok, so SR’s little rant pretty much ticked me off and I ended up calling the SM once again and telling him that I refuse to work with that SR and he needed to find me another because I would not deal with that gentleman again. The SM, after graciously listening to me chew him out and tell him all the idiotic things that my SR had told me and I mention that I have a 12 year old car and that in another year or two, I will be looking to buy a new car, and guess where I won’t be looking. (And sadly, they had one of the two cars on my short list, so now there is just one car on my short list.) The SM agreed that the SR had not handled things appropriately, and he apologized and stated that he would take over and call me himself when the parts were in.

Another interesting note is that after being completely ticked off, I called up the main number, spoke to the operator and sweetly asked who owned the LD. The operator said, “Ummmm, just a minute……….” and then got someone else to talk to me who wanted to know what the problem was. Eventually, she gave me the name of the General Manager, and quickly said, “but he’s not in today.” and said she would gladly let him know about the problems I had with the LD. Uh, huh. Sure you will, honey. I just find it a little bit curious when a company doesn’t want to tell you who the big boss is. And of course, I never heard from the GM, with whom the buck stops.

Thursday, 4/12, the SM calls and leaves me a voice mail to tell me the parts are in. I call the SM back and tell him I have a Dr. appointment 1^st thing in the morning, and I will be in as soon as I finish there. He tells me he will give me a discount on the work. I got off the phone and told my coworker that even if the LD gave me the repairs for free, I still never wanted to go back there ever again! And, during all this time, I’m still driving around in 2^nd gear.

It occurred to me on Friday, as I’m leaving the Dr.’s office and driving to the dealer, that it is Friday the 13th. Then I decided I have already had my bad luck with this dealer, so the day just had to get better.

I walk in to the service department and there’s that jerk of a SR, so I walk past him and find someone else, tell him I need someone to work on my car, that I refuse to deal with ________, that the parts are in, he could check with the SM, and hand him my keys. He says, “Uh, yes ma’am.” and goes to find the SM. I go to sit in the lounge, which is another reason I like the old dealer better, it had a nice lounge, whereas this place is just a waiting room with a tv. (I get so tired of tvs everywhere you go. If you’re going to have two waiting rooms, maybe make one of them a “quiet” room?)

The SM did come out to meet me in person, shook my hand, and said they would take care of me. A little while later SR#2 comes out to tell me my car is ready, and I tell him that the SM told me I would receive a discount. He gave me a new invoice/statement and the $921 I’d been charged was redone to say $0.

So, I had to basically make an ass out of myself, chew out the Service Manager who was not the employee who was treating me poorly, but was his boss, just to get them to do the work they had charged me for. It was two weeks of aggravation, and while I do appreciate the discount, I still don’t think I will ever go back there. Thankfully, there are several other dealers in the area, and one of them carries my future car.

The sad thing is, a couple of returned phone calls, and all this could have been avoided. I had no problem with the $921 cost of the work. (Although $240 in labor seems like a lot for what took maybe an hour.) I would have understood if the parts were lost. Things happen. Several people have said to me, “Oh, you know how car dealers treat women…” and shared their experiences with me. Some folks suggested that maybe Service Rep#1 forgot to order the parts. I guess that’s a possibility too. After all that, I took another trip to my mechanic for new shocks and a new hub bearing, in addition to the recently purchased new tires and brakes, and I’m hoping the car is good for another couple of years before I have to get a new one. It’s been a good 12 years. I’m hoping to make it to maybe 14