If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma, I want to tell you a little about your great grandma because even though you never met her, for me, it is interesting to see how she had some influence on your life whether biologically and/or psychologically.

Your great grandma had three children and at least 4 husbands.  She had two daughters, one being your Grandma Harriett, and a son named Tommy.  Maybe it was the time, and sons were more valued than daughters, but your great grandma’s main focus was on Tommy, whom I never met, and whom I never, ever heard anyone speak highly of.  In fact, Daddy told me that if Tommy ever showed up at our door, not to let him into our home.   Like you, he did some horrible things, but Stella loved him no matter what, which was sad, because your Grandma Harriett was the one who really looked after Stella until Tommy moved her away the last several years of her life.

Stella was raised in the south, I believe around Anderson, S.C.  I’m not sure what is true and what’s not, but your Grandma Harriet told me that her dad, Stella’s first husband committed suicide.  Grandma Harriett could be quite dramatic, and she claimed that she walked in on him after he had slit his own throat.  I wondered about that story, but your Grandma Harriett got quite hysterical, crying and sobbing when she told me that story many, many years later.

Sometime, when your grandmother was growing up, Stella moved the family to New Jersey.  I have no idea why, but I’m sure Daddy can tell you.

I met Stella on my first trip up to meet Daddy’s parents.  We went over to Stella’s little ranch house for dinner.  Stella was married to a man named Frank, whom I believe was her 4^th husband.   According to your dad, every time Grandma Stella lost a husband, she would lose weight and then catch another one.   Frank had had a stroke and was lying on a hospital bed in the middle of the living room.  I remembered being impressed with how clean Frank was and how perfect the bed looked.  I thought Stella must have taken wonderful care of Frank.  (I suppose she could have had Home Health coming in as well.)  Later on, Daddy told me that some of the neighbors had witnessed, through the window, Stella attempting to smother Frank with a pillow.

Stella had invited your dad and me over for a “…real EYE-talian dinner” that she had delivered from a local Italian restaurant.  You know how Daddy and I love Italian food?  Well, this was some of the worst Italian food we’d ever had!  It was very bland and flavorless, but Stella was so proud of it, so of course we didn’t say anything.  She wanted me to be able to go back to Ga. and tell people I’d had a real Eye-talian dinner while I was in New Jersey.

As you know, your grandparents were married long enough to create two babies, and then divorced.  Your grandpa worked in (maybe owned, I can’t remember) a bar up until he bought the diner, and your grandma was a waitress.

Grandma Stella was the babysitter for Daddy and his little brother up until they were old enough to stay home by themselves.  In fact, Stella is the one who gave your uncle the name he is called.  Your grandma named him his real name, but Grandma refused to call him that because she wanted him named “A.” so that was what she called him and it stuck.  Daddy claimed to have many fun memories of things they did with Stella, but he was somewhat bitter about it when he found out everything they did was paid for by Grandma Harriett and not Stella.

After that first visit, Frank died, and Stella did something pretty bizarre.  She sold her house and gave all the money to Tommy.  From everything I ever heard, Tommy was a drifter who showed up back in New Jersey now and then, especially if he needed money from Stella.

Grandma Harriett told me that some people came into the restaurant asking her when her mother was moving out of THEIR house?  Grandma Harriett had no idea that Stella had sold her house with absolutely no idea where she was going.  Fortunately, your grandma had connections with someone high-up in town who was able to get Stella into a subsidized senior high rise.  It was a nice little apartment, and Daddy and I visited every time we went up there.

Grandma Harriett told me a story about how a few years earlier, Stella had been in a car accident and won $100,000.00 in a lawsuit, and then gave all that money to Tommy, too.  For whatever reason, Stella would do anything she could for her son, even to her own detriment.

Like you, Emma, Stella was also a liar.  She could tell some whoppers.  When Daddy and I went to visit her, she would always want to give me things.  I think she was probably getting rid of things she didn’t really have room for in her small apartment, and I remember leaving with my arms full of stuff one evening and joking with Daddy that she probably told people I asked for those things.  Sure enough, that was what she said to Grandma Harriett.

One of the funnier stories was when Grandma called me (I would say mid 1980’s) and told me how sick she was.  She claimed to be passing “pure” blood and vomiting up “coffee grounds” blood.  She went on and on telling me how sick she was, and how the doctor told her she didn’t have long to live and she needed to have her LEFT intestine removed.  (I was guessing she meant to say “kidney.”)  I can’t remember what year Stella died, but it was many years after that!

Great Grandma Stella lived in the subsidized senior housing apartment for several years and then one night disappeared.  Her apartment was cleaned out and she was gone!  It seemed that Tommy had showed up and talked her into leaving with him.   Maybe he wanted her social security check as a source of income, I don’t know.  Tommy and Stella moved to Mt. Airy North Carolina.  Later on, Daddy heard that Tommy had beat her badly enough that she had to be hospitalized.  I think Grandma Harriet told that to Daddy, but who knows if it was another Stella whopper.  Eventually Stella died at the age of 92, I believe, and Tommy became a pastor.  I guess it’s never too late to turn your life around.

So Emma, as you can see and you’ve heard from Daddy’s stories about Stella, her influence on Grandma Harriett and on Daddy trickles down to you.  Grandma Stella’s lying (and possibly Tommy’s?) could also be a genetic component into why you lie.  It may just be an inherited trait.  From the things I heard about Tommy, I’ve wondered if you could have some of those genes, too, but I never met the man, so I don’t have anything to on there, other than again the lying and Tommy’s relationships in comparison to your relationships.  Daddy can tell you much more about Stella and Tommy, and you may want to ask him, and maybe that will help you figure out your “issues” as you used to say.

Love always,

Mom