If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma and foster dog, Benny, just before Emma told Suzie McGarvey she wanted to live in a group home.  If Emma was so abused, don’t you wonder why she wanted to go with me to take Benny to agility lessons when she didn’t have to come?  Riding in the car with her mother must have been so traumatic?  Poor Benny began having behavior issues after Phill had me removed from our home.  With Phill being on the road, Emma was the main one to take care of Benny when he was gone.  Fortunately for Benny, we got him out of the home, and  he has a wonderful forever home.

Part 2

The two sheriff’s deputies showed up and politely told me I needed to pack a bag and leave my home. To say I was shocked is an understatement. Phill wanted me out of my home, and he wanted to keep the house and everything in it. He had the element of surprise on his side, and if I had it to do over again, I would have done things differently. I would have taken the main computer for one thing (We had 3 or 4.), and Emma’s baby pictures. I took probably 99% of the photos we had of Emma, and Phill never let me have any of them. All the photos I have are the few that were in my wallet, and the ones I had on the computer. (Phill eventually gave me a hard drive of what I’d had on the computer, but none of them are the precious baby photos.)
I packed a suitcase and left. I had to give the police all my keys except the keys to my car. I also had to give them the keys to Phill’s minivan. This wasn’t enough for Phill though. I guess he thought I might have another set of keys somewhere, so he had a locksmith come and change the locks. At this point, I had no idea that I was headed towards divorce. I was about to see the very ugly side of Phill. We’d always worked on problems together, so even Emma’s problems were the worst we ever faced, I still believed in my husband, and believed we would work things out together. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and I was so wrong about my husband. He’d been going behind my back and planning on a divorce, and I had no idea. I was still dealing with the fact that Emma had accused me of abuse, recanted, then claimed again she was abused (and would later claim I poisoned her with DDT). I suspected that Emma’s friend wasn’t raped and the molestation hadn’t happened, but I hadn’t looked into it yet. It’s too bad I didn’t. Phill might have caught on sooner, and perhaps we could have gotten Emma some help to deal with her real issues.
While I was packing, I called a friend, crying, and explained what was going on. She was shocked, as Phill and I had recently been to her home, right after Emma told Suzie McGarvey that she wanted to live in a group home, and Phill told her and her husband that we were going to get things straightened out with Emma. My friend couldn’t believe what Phill had done, and she offered me a place to stay.
I’ve posted the Temporary Protective Order in a previous blog, so you can see what it said. I couldn’t get near Emma and could not contact Emma. When the deputies were at the house, they advised me to get an attorney. My friend called an attorney who does free work for the rescue group, and he recommended someone that he’d gone to school with. Since I didn’t know anything about attorneys or how to hire one, I met with this attorney, and he seemed ok to me, so I used him. Thus began the huge black hole of attorney’s fees. I would have never imagined spending what we did on attorneys, but since my husband was no longer my best friend and advisor, I had to trust the attorney and take his, very expensive, advice. He was looking out for my interests, whereas the man who’d made a vow to me was not.
My attorney’s main concern was not to get a restraining order. Again, hindsight, I wish I’d let Emma try to get the restraining order. Later on, when I began investigating some of Emma’s stories, including the rape and suicide attempt that didn’t happen to her friend, my attorney told me that had Emma gotten a restraining order, it would have never held up with all the lies we’d found out about. He said it would be very expensive to clean up, but I would have had it removed in light of Emma’s history.
My attorney told me that if I had a restraining order against me, I would have to put it on job applications and I would not be able to work with children or own a gun. I didn’t care about owning a gun, but I already had a part time job with children, and I was going to need to get a full time job since Phill wanted a divorce.
In order to not have Phill and Emma try to take out a restraining order, I had to agree to the separation agreement that Phill’s attorney, Seth Eisenberg drew up, and in that agreement, I had to agree to stay at least 75 yards away from Emma. Our court date was coming up, and the separation agreement had been presented to my attorney. We would go to court and the two attorneys would let the judge know we’d come to a separation agreement, and that was pretty much it until the divorce was finalized.
In all honesty, I was probably a mess for about two years. My own child made false accusations against me claiming physical abuse and attempted murder. My husband and best friend of almost 27 years wanted a divorce, and I’d been out of the “real” work force for 17 years. I’d worked in a time of pen and paper, and now everything in my field was on computer. In addition to that, I would lose my health insurance because of the divorce, so I had to find a job with insurance. I am blessed to have some very close friends and my two sisters who pulled me through the most difficult time in my life.

Ok, so moving ahead as to how Phill and Emma tried to get me to violate the Temporary Protective Order, most you know I have volunteered with a dog and cat rescue for many years. Emma was very involved with the group, and three of our close friends, she called her “aunts.” Later on I would find out about lies Emma told to and about her “aunts.” Emma seemed to lie about everyone she knew.
When I left my home, I took one of our dogs with me. One of my sisters wanted me to come up north, to her home, and my thought was that the little dog could go on the plane with me. We had a foster dog, an adorable little Rat Terrier/mi named Benny. I left him at the house. If you don’t know about fostering, you keep a dog in your home, get it housebroken and teach it a few manners, and take it to adoptions on Saturdays at PetsMart.

Phill went back and forth, at one point telling the director of the rescue that he and Emma might adopt Benny, and then another asking about bringing Benny to adoptions because he was ready to get him adopted because he’d bit a neighbor “on the ass.” Benny was a very timid little dog who’d been attacked and nearly killed by a large dog. He lived at the vet for months before I took him home to foster. He was very submissive and never showed any signs of aggression. We were shocked when Phill claimed Benny bit someone, and wondered if Phill made this up because he wanted to get rid of the dog. As for adopting Benny, the director said no way. Phill was on the road too much, and I’d always been the one to care for the dogs. There was no way she would let Phill and Emma adopt a dog from the rescue.

Before our court date, our director had told Phill to bring Benny to adoptions. She decided it was best not to deal with Phill anymore, and would put the dog in a kennel rather than have Phill and Emma foster him. If he had suddenly started biting, after being in our home for about 7 or 8 months without ever and incident, there was obviously an issue in the home and poor Benny was not happy.

Phill was to park a good distance away from PetsMart, down by Linens and Things, and call ML, one of our volunteers, and she would go get the dog. Phill called when he got there, and ML went out to get the dog. ML was surprised to see Emma in the minivan, and just wanted to get the dog. Phill told ML to send me out to talk to them, and she said no. He then told her he didn’t want them to hate him, and she told him she did not want to be in the middle of this . She just wanted to get the dog. Phill again insisted on talking to me and told her to send me over to talk to him.

I was helping get things set up for adoptions, when ML and another friend came up. My sister was with me, and they told us to go in the store and stay there until they came and got us. They were upset that Phill keep asking me to come talk to him and Emma, and they were afraid he was trying to get me to violate the TPO. They didn’t have to worry, as I had no intention of going near Phill and Emma. Here I’m supposed to be this violent mommy, and Emma’s very life was in danger when she was around me, so why on earth would Phill bring her to where I was? Wouldn’t that be considered child endangerment? Omgoodness! Or was Phill just hoping I was stupid enough to fall for his (or Emma’s) plan because I loved my family. Would I rush out there to see them and talk to them, and then they could claim I violated the TPO? After all, it would have been two witnesses against one!

Phill gave up and left, and my sister called her husband, a retired police officer. My brother-in-law felt it would be a good idea to file a police report in case something came up and I could show what Phill had done. My friend, ML, wrote up her statement for me as well. I called the Gwinnett County Police and then filed the report.
Sorry , my writing is kind of rushed. I have a pretty busy life, and don’t get to spend the time I would like to on the blog, but I want Emma’s story out there, so I will continue to write. I will have to go back and edit later!
Thank you to my readers for your support!