If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma stretching with joy on Christmas morning, 2007. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Pneumonia and Immunosuppressed, Oh, My!

Part 19
Jan. 8, 2010
(Emma begins an 8 page letter to “Lacey.”)

Emma says she is finally starting her horrendously late letter about Christmas break. Yes, she knows it is really late…and she thinks she will tell things in no particular order, just as she remembers them because it doesn’t really matter.

Emma’s birthday was December 19th, ahd the youth group had “drop and shop” babysitting at the church and a little part for Emma. “Jord” wasn’t there,, so Emma was disappointed. Emma tells “lacey she wishes “Lacey” lived down here because she needs more girlfriends.

On Sunday, the youth group went caroling at a hospice. She says she had told “Lacey” about that, riding with Evan (Don’t tell her mom!). Emma said she found out Rob didn’t have a clue what a hospice center was……when they were there, they had the following conversation:
“Hey, what do they do here anyway?”
“It’s a hospice. It’s where they take care of people who are dying.”
Wrong thing to say. Rob panicked. “What? What are they dying of?? Can I, like, catch it???”
“Rob! No! You know they wouldn’t put us in danger. Cancer, old age, you know, stuff like that.”
“Oh, ok. When will they die?”
“Good grief Rob! I don’t know. Soon.”

Thankfully this whispered conversation was cut short by Father T’s announcement that caroling would begin.

Emma talks about singing in various places at the hospice, and in a room which may have been a family waiting room, there were a bunch of people and they were really quiet. Emma said it was like there was an invisible divide: “us and them.” There was one middle aged guy, standing close to their circle, leaning back on a chair, just watching, and Emma thought about going over to give him a songbook, but she wasn’t sure if that would be the right thing to do, and then the little girl she babysat, who wouldn’t even look a strange man in the eyes, walked over and gve this guy her songbook and helped him find the page. Oh, “Lacey,” Emma was so proud of her. Everyone started handing out songbooks and sweets that they’d brought with them. A lot of families started crying and it was really amazing.

After the hospice, they stopped at a coffee shop that had a piano. Emma tells a story about a little girl admiring the sweets and when she took off her coat, she was completely bald. Emma figured she was going through chemo or something.

There was a piano in the shop, and the little girl walked over and played a few simple tunes, and then she and Evan played a duet. The little girl’s dad video taped the whole thing with his phone. Emma was talking to the mom telling her how amazing her daughter was with her musical talent, and how surprised she was to see her walk up to a group of teens and seem perfectly at ease. Emma deliberately didn’t say anything about her hair or her health. The mom started crying and told Emma how this was going to be her last Christmas because the chemo wasn’t working. That was why her hair was coming back. They’d stopped treatment. Emma didn’t tell anyone else that. They just went on, but that stuck with her. All the perfect planning: this little place had a piano. She and Evan knew the same music. And in the right-before-Christmas rush, they all happened to be in the same place at the same time…..


(Some great storytelling!! Is any of it true? I doubt it. I guess I could look up Rob and ask him if he really didn’t know what a hospice was. I could call the little girl’s grandmother (whom Emma babysat for) who was also on the trip and ask her about the songbooks. And isn’t it an amazing coincidence that after visiting a hospice, they stop at a coffee shop and meet a little girl dying of cancer. Funny how Emma didn’t tell anyone else about what the mother told her.  Ummmm, maybe because it didn’t happen?  Maybe because there was no little, bald child with terminal cancer at the coffee shop?  So, readers, what do you think? )

Jan. 12, 2010

On to happier topics, says Emma. On Mon. they went to the church of Common Ground, a homeless ministry in Atlanta. They have a foot washing service every Monday. Evan and Rob got to wash feet, but Emma was too immune-suppressed (pneumonia)XXXXX and the other girls were too wimpy, so they were the only ones. Emma led Coral and Alex in the kitchen duties: cutting cake and serving it, fixing slices of bread with peanurt butter on them, serving coffee and juice…and they fixed bag lunches for them to take with them on their way. They passed all the stuff out to the people getting their feet washed. It was mostly Emma doing the passing though because Coral is afraid of homeless people and Alex spilled coffee once and declared she’d just watch from that point.

(Excuse me? Emma was immunosuppressed? And what’s this about pneumonia???? Pretty funny. Maybe Emma heard about immunosuppression at the hospice, if there were cancer patients who’d previously been on chemo. Pneumonia? Emma had pneumonia when she was two years old. Except for her frequent vomiting due to “DDT poisoning”, which I will address in a later post, and a bout of Rotovirus, Emma was a healthy child. At thhe time of this letter, Emma did not have Pneumonia, nor was she  immunosuppressed. Perhaps she was one of those “wimpy girls” who didn’t want to touch someone’s nasty ol’ feet?)

After they were there a few hours, they went to dinner at a little pizza place and then went to the Cathedral and walked the labyrinth. Emma explains what a labyrinth is to “Lacey.” …….

On the ride home, Emma rode with Rob, Evan, and Coral, and the drivers, but she hasn’t mentioned their names, so don’t worry about them. Rob does his “Imma a little teapot” rap, and later, texts it to Emma, so she texts him back, “He’s my Prince of Peace/ And I will live my life for HIM. (Michael W. Smith) Love ya too.”

Emma says Christmas was ok. She and Rob were the senior acolytes at the midnight service, and Evan and Jord were at the early service, so she missed seeing them.

Emma talks about Rob and Evan coming over so they could work on their Happening Stuff (a church teen retreat). ……….. They ended up playing on her computer, and she was afraid they would read her letters to “Lacey” but fortunately those are all password protected. ……..

Emma talks about how the church organist quit and she and Nick are filling in. She played her first full church service and made a few mistakes but did pretty well.

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On Friday night, Emma’s friend Kayla came down. Emma reminds “Lacey” that Kayla live in N. Ga. with her grandparents and only comes down to her mom and common-law-step-dad’s place occasionally. Kayla always invites Emma over when she’s down because she’s the only person Kayla knows down here and she’s always bored out of her mind. So, where do they go? Kayla, her mom, Jeff (step-dad), three neighbor guys and one neighbor guys wife and Emma all go to a sports bar. Yes, a bar. They got there about 6:30 and didn’t get home until after midnight. This is what Emma doesn’t get about Kayla’s mom. She sees her daughter less than once a month, and when she does see her, she takes her and her friend to a bar. Kayla and Emma didn’t even sit with them. They sat in a little booth by themselves, which was fine with them. They ate and hung out in the little kids’ game room till it closed at like 10:30 pm. Emma was beaten by a 5 year old at air hockey. Ya, she say, sports are not her gift.

After that, they sat in a nearly deserted restaurant and had Shirley Temples while they played Monopoly on Kayla’s iPhone. Fun. When they finally decided to leave, Emma and Kayla locked themselves in her room so that the four drunk guys stumbling around the house didn’t come in. They talked and then went to sleep. Emma says she feels bad for Kayla. She can’t imagine if Sheree Barwise were her mom. She’s not a parent. She is more like ===========================================================================
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(I especially wanted to highlight Emma’s paragraphs about Kayla Benifield Weaver, Sharee Benifield Barwise, and Jeff Barwise. On Dec. 1, 2013, I wrote a post about Kayla and her family called Emma and Kayla – With Friends Like This. At the time of that writing, these letters to “Lacey” were put away, and I had only skimmed them, so I never noticed that Emma had written to “Lacey” some of the things she said to me about Kayla, her mom Sheree, and Jeff. I have no idea what is true and what is not. Obviously, if I’d known Kayla’s parents and friends were drunk and stumbling around the house, I would not have allowed Emma to stay at Kayla’s mother’s home. I did not know Sheree well, but she seemed like a nice person, and to be honest, I can’t picture her allowing things to go on as Emma described. As for the sports bar, it was a place called Jeffrey’s Sport’s Bar in Braselton, Ga. I’ve never been inside, but have been told it is pretty much like a Chili’s or Applebee’s kind of place.)

Jan. 15, 2010

Emma talks about babysitting, when the mother of the little girl that Emma frequently babysat called and asked if we could keep her on short notice. She tells some cute kid stories and then mentions how, sadly, she was reminded her of Evan and Rob talking about girls. It mad her sad, and she wants “Lacey’s” honest opinion. When Evan and Rob were over, they talked about just about everything. Emma was not participating in this particular conversation, but was in the room, and her room is not large enough for you to have a conversation and somebody else in the room not hear it. She can’t remember the exact quotes now, since it was almost two weeks ago, but something about how “Maura” (the girl who brought drugs to the church teen retreat)looked cute when she dyed her hair red –it’s a different color every week—and Jordan doesn’t wear enough makeup, etc., etc. Emma was shocked. Most girls she knows aren’t that bad at judging people purely by their appearance. Emma thought girls were supposed to be worse about that kind of thing. She almost said, “Well, while you’re on the subject, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong with me?” But that would have sounded really nasty—which is totally how she meant it—and she didn’t want to start a debate, so she didn’t say it. They didn’t say anything about Emma, but it’s like geez, she wonders what they say when she’s not there. She did not expect to hear that from them; she thought they were better than that. And with Emma in the room!!! Do they just not think about how that must sound? And how she must feel to listen to it?

Emma asks “Lacey” to tell her honestly, does she think Emma’s blowing this out of proportion or was her reaction reasonable? Once Emma finds out something bad about someone, like they are on drugs, Emma can’t find them attractive no matter what they look like. But apparently appearance makes up for everything else in their books. Ok, Emma doesn’t know that, but that’s sure what they made it sound lie. If I dye my hair and get my braces off and wear more make up will they start likeing me for who I am? It’s not worth it, she knows, but she’s just wondering. Or venting. Emma just wants to be loved for herself. Is that too much to ask? Or do you have to be pretty to be loved for who you are?

Yes, Emma knows that was pretty depressing. Sorry. She knows one day she will find someone who loves her for who she is, but she wishes she knew when…or who. Some days she feels like she is not even worth it. Prime example: so this random girl from her AP Psychology class decides she hates Emma for no reason! Here’s what happened. Kayla (Kayla Benifield Weaver) e-mailed Emma on GAVS (on-line school) and she’s like, “So this girl in my AP Lit class has been complaining about ‘that prissy Emma-Kate girl’ in her virtual class for like 10 minutes now.
Emma had no clue who she meant, so she asked, “Who? Why?”
Kayla said, “Her name is Jordan Ford. She’s upset that you got more discussion responses than she did. Jealously thing, I think…”
And you know that is something Emma totally can’t help. So, she thought this girl was nice, but it turns out that she hates Emma and Emma didn’t even do anything to her!!

(An interesting side note here. Maura (name changed) was a young lady whom Emma never liked at church. We met when the girls were fairly young, elementary school age, and they were the same age. Emma frequently complained about her and would tell me mean things that she said to Emma, and being a Mama Bear, of course I thought Maura was a mean little girl to say such things to MY daughter: Asking if Emma got her new dress on clearance…saying that Emma’s new necklace was sooooo “last year.” Etc. Were any of these comments true? Who knows? As the kids got older, Emma liked Maura even less because she was a cheerleader, very pretty, popular with boys, etc.
Emma talks about Maura’s hair being dyed a different color every week. This was not true. At the time Emma wrote this, Maura rarely came to church. Also, she was blonde, and other than maybe some highlights, I don’t really remember her dying her hair. It’s possible that she did, and perhaps she even tried dying it red. I don’t really remember, but our church was not that big, and since Phill and I were frequently helping with the youth group, there weren’t many kids we didn’t know. I’m pretty sure I’d remember it if Maura’s hair had been a different color every week.

One story I remember about the trip to Camp Mikell, where Maura’s parents were called to come get her, supposedly because of drugs, was Emma telling me that Maura was in another building, up the hill from where Emma was, but Emma got up one morning and saw Maura and a counselor outside. She said the counselor was dumping out a bag of white powder on to the ground and then poured out Maura’s booze on top of the powder on the ground. I questioned this story because I’d been to the camp and the buildings are not that close together, and I knew which buildings the girls were in, so I couldn’t picture Emma being able to see that scene well, if at all. Also, assuming drugs are expensive, if Maura had a bag of white powder, I would guess it would be very small, and wondered how Emma could see all this from down the hill. Did Emma see anything, or did it just make a great story? I’m guessing the latter. )

Ok looking on the bright side, the youth group is going to Winter Jam, a Christian concert, on Sunday. Oh, and she didn’t finish telling “Lacey” about her day with babysitting the 6 year old………..

Emma tells one story about holding hands and “dancing” with little T. at church, in the parish hall, and seeing a glimpse of herself in the windows that reflected like mirrors. For a minute, for the first time her her life, she actually thought she looked beautiful, and she thought, “Maybe , just maybe, this is why he loves you…” ………..her mind went back to the Sock Hop, and she danced with Evan like that…………she saw him watching them across the room and wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Probably not…but it’s a nice thought.

Jan. 18, 2010

Emma will email this letter today. Emma will email this letter today. Emma will email this letter today. It is getting close to 11 pages again. So she will email this letter today. Now that she has that established, going on…..

Emma talks about how the youth group missed the concert and went to a movie instead. They saw Sherlock Holmes, which she says was awful and tells “Lacey” not to even rent that one. She says she had to explain the movie to Alex (Jordan’s younger sister who is about 3 years younger than Emma.) and tells some funny stories about the kids.

Emma tells about hugging her friends good night and complains about being 5”1 because she feels so short. She claims she is the shortest one on the group………

Emma signs off: Love ya!! Emma-Kate

(As I mentioned before, Emma was 5’ 3 ½”, not 5’1”. )