If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others

Part 4

(Interestingly enough, Emma started another 4 page letter to “Lacey” the same day she finished the last letter.)

Another mother and I took the church youth group on a bowling trip. I guess you can tell Emma wasn’t a great bowler, but it was fun anyway! Here she is hamming it up after her gutterball.

March 30, 2009

This letter again starts out with the “Hey Lacey” salutation and goes on to talk about how Emma is taking a break from school to write “Lacey.” She mentions that we watched part of PBS’s presentation of Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens the night before. Then she complains about how we are having Cornbeef [sic] and Cabbage for dinner. (One of Phill’s favorite meals.) (What is kind of funny is that Emma says that she is not that picky, and I think Phill would even tell you that Emma was VERY picky. She liked meat and bread, and pretty much the only vegetables she liked were green beans, corn, and potatoes. Ok, two of those don’t really count as healthy vegetables, but to Emma. I have to wonder if Emma’s taste has changed in the past 3 ½ years since Ive seen her.)

(Emma must have taken a break.)

The very next paragraph, Emma complains that dinner was just as awful as predicted and that after her on line class that evening, “they” want to talk to her. (not sure why the “talk” was italicized) Emma says this could be really good or it could be really bad. It could mean that her parents had decided Emma was mature enough to get her permit (oh please Lord, pretty please….) or it could mean her parents are mad at her for some inexplicable reason. She “*really*” hopes she is not in touble. Emma states that we usually don’t have huge fights more than once a month so it is too early to have another one yet. Orr I could be something random like her medication is making her depressed and it’s time to see about changing it. Emma says that idea would not fall into either category, but it is not a bad idea. (Suffice to say this is more teenage angst. Occasionally we had loud arguments, but I don’t think we timed them out to be every month. Also, Emma makes a much bigger deal about her medication, depression, side effects, changing her medication, etc. Emma took her medication, the only problem she had with it was that it increased her sensitivity to sunlight, and she had to be careful in the summer because if she was out in the sun for too long, she would break out. That’s all. There was no depression, no changing of medications.)

Emma’s next paragraph starts with story from church where a father of one of the girls in the class Emma assisted with asked her if she was in college. Emma was “abashed to admit” she was a lowly high school in freshman. Emma says she knows he is mature beyond her years. She’s gone through more strife than most adults will in a lifetime, and it’s definitely shaped her, but college? She didn’t think she seemed that old! Emma says there are times she feels so young compared to her friends…Evan, Rob, and Jordan are sophomores and there are a few juniors and seniors in the group, but no other freshmen. Her only close friend out of church (besides Lacey) is Kayla –Kayla Benifield Weaver, a junior. Emma was proud that someone could think she was that mature. She says it might balance out my inferiority complex just a big. Yes, she says, she fluxes between being totally self-assured to feeling utterly inept.

March 31, 2009

Emma writes that *the talk* was just disappointing. Her mother won’t let her go to Dollywood with Kayla (Kayla Benifield Weaver) on spring break. And Kayla’s grandparents were going to pay for it, so Emma is ticked off! Emma would love to spend three days with Kayla. She doesn’t get to see her much because she lives in Martin. Her divorced mom lives close by, so she’s sees Kayla when she is at her mom’s maybe 5 times a year. Last time Emma saw her was when they went bowling on Kayla’s birthday in Februrary.

(Ok, let the evil mother speak here. Emma hated attending Jackson County Comprehensive High School and was throwing up so much that we had to pull her out of school Emma had to finish school on line, but she also had a lot of school work she had to finish for JCCHS, so it was almost like she was doing double school to make up for missing so much. It was not her evil mother who decided she could not go to Dollywood with Kayla and her grandparents, it was a decision made assignments done, and Phill and I were both proud of her for getting through that semester.
Another thing was that the trip was not 3 days. I spoke to Kayla’s grandfather over the phone, and the trip was to be for five days. Emma was so behind in school, she did not could not take 5 days off. As a mother, this was a very difficult decision, as I’m sure other mothers out there can understand. I racked my brain trying to figure out how Emma could go to Dollywood because I know she would have a great time, and she didn’t have many friends, so I really wanted her to go. Emma told “Lacey” that she got to see Kayla maybe 5 times a year, the truth was that Emma, at that point, saw Kayla once or twice a year. It came down to the fact that Emma had deadlines on her school work, and there was no way she could meet them if she took the five days off. We’d already been warned that Emma might have to repeat 9th grade, so we were just trying to make sure she got through the year. I think I was as disappointed as Emma was that she could not go to Dollywood with Kayla, but Phill and I agreed that it was not possible.)

Emma goes on to talk about her plans to go on a mission trip in June with one of our neighbors who runs an organization called Eternal hope of Haiti. Emma mentions being a little nervous about it. (Ironically enough, another woman in the neighborhood, a nurse practitioner, who frequently went on the mission trips to Haiti with Eternal Hope, was also the victim of Emma’s lies. If you’ve read through the blog, I’ve mentioned this story, but it seems appropriate to mention it here. The NP who was our neighbor, and one of her daughters, went with Emma on the trip to Haiti, and was especially kind and kept an eye on Emma. She also let Emma use her phone to send a message home. When this lady needed a dog sitter, Emma went over to her house after she got home from work to go over what she needed to do for the dog. Emma came home and told me how the woman was drunk, and imitated her, putting on a good show. I was kind of shocked, but Emma was pretty funny with her acting. I later told Phill about it. Too bad it was another one of Emma’s stories.)

Emma then says a couple of neighborhood girls stopped by the house. They had heard a rumor that Emma had brain cancer. Emma says she felt like saying, “Oh wow, I’ve been out of school for two months and NOW you decide to check on me. Ya, that means a whole lot.” See, Emma used to consider about 4 girls in the neighborhood to be her friends, but that was until she opened her eyes and realized that they didn’t act at all like friends. According to her friends, the hairbands Emma wore were childish, the jeans she wore weren’t in style, her shoes weren’t cool, her backpack made her look d funny, her shirt looked like something an old lady would wear, she was too innocent, Christian, and naive for her own good. (Their words, not Emma’s, according to Emma.) Unfortunately, by the time Emma realized she had chosen the wrong confidants; it was too late to change things. At Jackson County Comprehensive High School, your associations are set in stone the moment you arrive. Changing them is strictly forbidden. Emma could not leave the group because they were always around her. They claimed her and there was nothing she could do. While it was possible to leave them, it was not possible to find another group identity.
Emma says if she were in the same situation again she would have done things differently. She realizes now that it is better to have no friends than friends that bring you down. However, she can’t change the past, so she has to deal with the repercussions. She is just grateful that she has a strong faith and a few close friends, even though she doesn’t see them often.
Emma says she wishes she’s forgiven the girls, but she hasn’t. Some things, like the insults will be forgotten in time, however, other damage is irreparable. They took her trusting nature and turned it against her. The awful things she saw and heard took away her innocence. Because of them, she is suspicious of strangers. Because of them, she is not who she used to be, and she can’t change that no matter how hard she tries…………….

(Ok, the part about the brain tumor is true because I was there when the girls came by, but this is more teen angst, dramatization and exaggeration. I know some of this exaggerated angst is normal with the age Emma was at the time, and teenagers teasing each other is normal as well, but most of this part of the letter is laughable. Emma didn’t really try to make friends. The girls on the bus tried to include her and invite her to things, but often she would not go (because of Emma’s claims there would be drinking and drugs at whatever they were doing). Also, Emma was the one who would not allow any of these girls to be her friend on facebook. They sent her friend requests, but she ignored them. I think Emma didn’t want to associate with these girls, so she made them sound like horrible people so that I wouldn’t give her a hard time about not accepting an invitation to do something with them. After all, what kind of mother would I be if I encouraged my daughter to hang out with a bunch of promiscuous, foul-mouthed drug users? Well played, Emma because I fell for it.)

Emma writes about texting Kayla and how since her “rents” won’t let her go to Dollywood, she wanted to meet Kayla at Hartsfield International Airport and fly to New York, and that when she got a role on Broadway, she would pay Kayla’s college tuition. Emma also writes about how she wants to start a Bible Study with her youth group.
(As for the Bible Study, like the music program Emma was going to start, it’s more talk. Emma never actually talked to anyone about doing any of these things. I think she was just trying to impress upon “Lacey” what a good Christian she was.)