Letters to Lacey Part 3 (UPDATE Completed– 1/18/2015)

*********************COMPLETED JAN. 18, 2014**************

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

When Emma was in 6th grade, we went on a bird banding trip to Jekyll Isalnd, Ga.

When Emma was in 6th grade, we went on a bird banding trip to Jekyll Isalnd, Ga.

Emma’s next letter is a 6 page (typed) letter that she wrote over March 24-28, 2009.

March 24, 2009

This letter starts out with Emma saying she’s bored so she thought she’d start a letter to “Lacey.” Emma says the pen-pal thing is good for her, she thinks, and she can copy and paste parts of it to her grandmother who lives in New Jersey. Emma tells “Lacey” about her grandmother has two sons, Phill who’s older, and Andy who is younger, and that Andy was always her favorite, so Andy’s kids are her favorite too despite the fact that they had problems with drugs and one of them made her a great-grandma by having a baby when she was a teenager and then says that this cousin is now pregnant again and still not married. Emma says she is not bitter or anything, although she hated her grandma for a long time in part because her mother resents grandma for neglecting Emma which she can understand. Emma goes on to say that she saw a picture recently of her grandma and felt stupid for resenting a frail looking old lady, so she started writing her and grandma was thrilled. Emma says she doesn’t want to talk to her on the phone and is afraid she hasn’t forgiven her grandmother completely. Emma goes on to say that her grandmother was in Atlanta visiting Andy, and stupid Emma thought her grandmother would want to see her too, but she doesn’t and that really hurts.

Emma goes on to tell Lacey about something silly from her church youth group, a joke they had about “light pollution.” And then she talks about a church retreat where Emma’s friend, Jordan, wanted to do her color guard routine, but didn’t have a flag, so Emma told her there was a mop outside, and Jordan did her color guard routine in front of the whole camp with a mop.

Emma again brings up the prank about burning her hand at the lock-out and calls that her classic-Emma-Kate-moment, and goes on to say she loves being infamous and that she is the secretary and they need her, so they can’t kick her out because she is irreplaceable! Emma adds that in case “Lacey” hasn’t noticed, self-esteem is not one of her many problems, but when she brags, she means it as a joke and not to show off.

Emma tells a cute story about church, and her Sunday school class, and then says she hopes she hasn’t bored “Lacey” with stories about her friends, and then says if “Lacey” is every coming down in our area, she would love to meet her and maybe “Lacey” could come visit for a week or two.

March 25, 2009

Emma starts of this part of the letter saying she hopes “Lacey” isn’t sick of her depressing life and goes on to talk about the neighbor boy who died again. Then she promises that she is done with the depressing stuff now, and tells “Lacey” about a silly dream she had. She mentions watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua, and says she wants to get a Beta fish.

The next paragraph, Emma is excited about having talked to “Lacey” on Elluimnate (part of her on-line school program) and says “You think you won’t get sick of me!” and goes on to say she presumes she is annoying, or at least anyone like Emma would annoy Emma herself, but it is hard to judge herself. She imagines things. She overreacts, unfortunately…

Emma tells “Lacey” about out ladies’ Bible study group and how we were starting The Star, The Cross, and the Cresent, an Andy Stanley program (North Point Community Church northpoint.org), and Emma says that she cannot imagine following the Koran. She wonders why those people don’t embrace Christ’s forgiveness and love, but the Bible says it is not for her to judge, so she supposes she won’t.

March 27, 2009

Emma tells “Lacey” about our Bible study that we attended the night before, and tells her a little about what we listened to on the DVD and how that four thousand year old scripture sounds a lot like modern times, doesn’t it? Then Emma adds that our wonderful new president has a great solution: since they want to kill us, let’s talk to them!

Emma says she doesn’t know how Lacey feels about politics, or if she even cares, but Emma herself is strongly Conservative (and she is not just repeating her parents—-they disagree with her on most issues!) (Though Phill and I were fairly conservative, Phill used to joke that Emma was Right of Right.) Emma does not understand how anyone can follow a leader who wants to condone the murder of an unborn child. Partial-birth abortion especially gets her and she firmly believes they do not have the RIGHT to legalize gay marriage. Marriage was a sacrament way before our government existed and they have NO right to define HER beliefs!

Ok, done with her tirade, Emma says she debated her AP Government class last year (the other 12 students were for legalizing abortion) and you know what’s funny? Emma says that everyone admitted she won. Of course that is because they were only reiterating their parent’s/friends’ dogma, and had no clue why they felt the way they did. She was not trying to sound superior, it’s just true.

Emma talks again about the youth group and how the younger kids think teenagers are these awesome alien creatures and how she loves that the younger kids think she is cool.

Emma goes on to talk about how she is supposed to make something edible to serve after church and how Emma + Cooking = Disaster. She says she is absent minded and tends to mis-measure or altogether exclude certain ingredients. Did she put Cayenne pepper in? She guesses she will do it again to be sure, and how she can ruin even the just-add-water muffin mixes. (This part is pretty much all exaggeration. Emma could cook if she wanted to. She could read and follow directions just fine. Emma really didn’t cook unless it was to make herself an egg or bake something for church. Once she made a jello salad for a Thanksgiving dinner with friends. Emma didn’t really like to cook. The only time I can remember her making a meal was after she went on a mission trip with Eternal Hope of Haiti. She came home and googled a recipe to find something similar to a dish she had there, and she made Phill and I a wonderful baked spaghetti dish. It was very sweet that she wanted to do cook for us, and it was very good! Oh, and Emma would not have cooked ANYTHING with cayenne pepper in it! She did not like spicy food!)

Emma tells “Lacey” that she’s been fighting a bout of depression lately. She was looking through her homeschool program’s yearbooks and counted the signatures. She never did see ten signatures. Emma says she tries to be this happy, exuberant, outgoing person, like the people who are always in the middle of things, the ones whose opinions are like the law…..a magnet to those around them…happy, confident, sure of themselves in their own little worlds. That is who she wants to be, but she is always on the fringes, close enough to watch without being noticed.

Emma hopes “Lacey” doesn’t find her letters horribly depressing. She thinks it helps her to be able to talk to “Lacey”, to know she will listen, and because “Lacey” doesn’t see her every day, “Lacey” doesn’t tell her all the things she should do differently. That was all her friend, Jordan, did was to tell Emma how she should change, and she tried, but she just couldn’t. She is who she is and she can’t change so radically that she is a different person altogether. She guesses she will have to do something differently if she wants her life to be different, but she hadn’t figured out yet what she can do, and that is why it hurts so badly. She wants to be the way Jordan is, and by staying close to her, she thinks she was trying to change herself into part of Jordan, but it didn’t work and now Jordan is gone.

(I have a couple of things to add here. Some of this is just teen angst, but for whatever reason, Emma quit liking the homeschool group where she took classes and I worked part time. She complained about her classes and withdrew from the other kids. She wanted to take Drama, but her biggest complaint was that they always made the plays so that everybody had a part—in other words, she wouldn’t get to be the star. She thought that was stupid. Emma became a sulky teenager and didn’t even try to be friendly. Once she went on facebook, she could post hundreds of comments and “likes.” But when Emma didn’t like something, she could be quite rude. She was not one of the popular kids, and she was unhappy. It probably didn’t help that I had a great time with my kids. I had a lot of fun teaching and worked hard at it. Phill often complained that I spent too much time preparing for class at home for the small salary I received. I always said I was lucky to teach an elective because the kids who were in my class were there because they wanted to be there. I didn’t think Emma and I were in a competition, but she was jealous that I kids who wanted to take my class and who thought I was “cool.” As I mentioned earlier, when I was telling Phill and Emma, over lunch, about my kids one day, Emma had to remind me that those kids don’t like their own mothers either.)

In the next paragraph, on pg. 4, Emma says how grateful she is to have “Lacey” to write to. If “Lacey” doesn’t mind, to please keep Emma in her prayers. Right now she feels like she is just going through the motions, and she really wants to change that. She is putting on an act for everyone around her. Because she is one of those people who likes to make others dependent on her. Her Sunday school class would be empty without here. She is the backbone of the youth group and it would fall apart without her, but what happens when Emma needs to depend on someone? She keeps smiling every day, doing everything she does, and then sh.e cries herself to sleep when nobody’s watching. There is a line in one of the most moving poems she has read, “I smile when I have to / I break down when I don’t/ I know I can be strong/ But I also know I won’t.” That is basically how Emma feels right now. She is tired of being strong, and the things she used to do aren’t working anymore. She turns up her praise music as loud as she can, and sings the words she knows so well and nothing happens. She doesn’t feel the joy she used to. The happiest time in her life right now is the moment before she goes to sleep because no matter how bad or wonderful her day has been, it is over and she can quit. She doesn’t have to act. She just lies there and thinks. The curtain is closed after the final act and she doesn’t have to be anyone she is not anymore. She really wonders if that is her problem; she has practiced being so many different people that she has forgotten to be herself.

Emma thanks Lace for letting her vent, and this is something she could never talk to her parents or her youth group friends about. Her friends look at her health problems and they treat her differently already, so she doesn’t want to give them anymore reason to set her apart. That is the only time she resents her lot in life. It is really embarrassing when she is serving with the other acolytes at church and just slumps over in front of the whole church, just passes out for no reason at all. She hates it, so she has to make an effort to seem normal around her friends. (Another great exaggeration, as Emma frequently vomited, but I think there was only one time she got pretty woozy at the altar. She didn’t actually pass out.)
Emma tells “Lacey” that this song has been running through her head lately:

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume that this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

Natalie Grant, Our Hope Endures

Emma ends this section thanking “Lacey” for listening to her and says please don’t think she is some horribly depressed person. She has just been having a bad week. She thinks one thing she needs to contemplate is that none of us will ever reach our full potential. We all fall short of what God wants us to be, and we can’t expect too much of ourselves. It is good to set high goals, but you can’t give up when you fall short, and basically she wants to be perfect, but it’s not going to happen.

March 28, 2009

Emma continues with her letter to “Lacey” and starts of this section about how she ended up making brownies for church and they even came out pretty. She was so proud. She says she has fun mixing the brownies but the baking most of it and eating the rest while it bakes. Then she gets to cut them and arrange them on a pretty platter except the platter happens to be an heirloom and she would be murdered if she broke it, so that somewhat dampens her fun. When she had the brownies out of the ban and on a cutting board to cut them, her *dad* {sic} decided to stick his *finger* into the batch! So, one brownie has a somewhat smoothed out finger print in the middle of it. SIGH…. (Hmmmm. Where to start? Ok, who takes brownies out of the pan to cut them? We always cut them in the pan, and Emma did too, so I’m not sure where the need for that embellishment came from. And Phill walking by and sticking his finger in the middle of the brownies. Nope. That is not Phill. He wouldn’t deliberately mess up something she was doing. THEN, there’s the whole heirloom thing. Heirloom? Really? Uh…. Not hardly. We had a couple of cheap glass trays that were Phill’s dad’s, and they were special to us because they were his dad’s, but no, they were not heirlooms. I didn’t have any serving platters, so we always used his dads glass pieces when we were taking something somewhere because they were bigger than our dinner plates. But, Emma can sure dish out a good story, can’t she? “Heirloom” sounds so much more interesting than dime store dish!)

On the bright side, Emma continues, she is not nearly as depressed as she was yesterday. She looked up her new medication (don’t ask why she didn’t do that before) and depression is indeed a common side effect. As are mood swings. And suicidal impulse. Soooo, that explains a bit of this. She is glad she is not just randomly sinking into states of general self hatred. Emma says she may stop taking her medication if it makes her like this though. She was seriously upset yesterday. (Note: I don’t remember which medication Emma was on at the time, but I don’t remember the side effects depression or suicidal impulse. The one problem she had with the medication she was on was that it caused increased sun sensitivity, and Emma would break out of she was out in the bright sun too much. It wasn’t a big deal. When she was younger, with her throwing up episodes, she’d been on medication, such as Elavil. During the whole, “I was molested by a priest.” thing, Emma was on Celexa and Lexapro at some point. I don’t remember which one it was she tried first, but then told her psychiatrist that she was depressed and having suicidal thoughts, so the psychiatrist switched her. Emma would always look up the side effects of her medications and then claim to have those side effects.)

Emma says it has been raining all day and sometimes she likes the rain, but she didn’t today because it made her sad. She kept thinking about God crying…. But, as she said, she was not nearly as bad as she was yesterday. Emma talks about her cousin who lives Co. and has two children……

Emma talks about how she picks her own family members like here mom’s friend Sandi (Sandra Brooks Mccravy) who wants to be her mom and has a dysfunctional extended family. She says that Sandi goes to family gatherings and then afterwards, wonders why she bothered.

Albert, the greeter at Costco (Buford, Ga.) is her uncle. A lot of people at Costco know Emma’s dad because they see him in his UPS uniform, and they know about Emma’s health problems, so they are nice to us. She says we see Albert the most and he always asks about her, so he gets to be her uncle. (I didn’t even know Emma called this man her uncle, and I think she only did this in her letter to Lacey, but he was a very nice man. I think that is in the job description. He was nice to everyone.)

Emma goes on to talk about one of the volunteers from the dog/cat rescue and tells “Lacey” how we do Thanksgivings and Christmases and other holidays with our rescue friends. (This part was true. Emma did call three of our friends from the rescue, “Aunt.”)

Emma says she really wonders what “Lacey” thinks of her. Does she think she is insane yet? As she’s said, she really is, but “Lacey” may or may not be convinced of that. (At this point, I’m sure “Lacey” probably thought Emma was just another teen, but I do have to wonder what she thought after she found out Emma was telling people that “Lacey” was raped and attempted suicide!)

March 30, 2009

Emma starts off with a couple of cute, silly stories about her the kids in Sunday school. (Maybe true, maybe not.)
Emma then writes about how Jordan is still not speaking to her and she is annoyed at Rob for treating her like an invalid. Emma talks about carrying a child and she was going to carry one of the crosses, when Rob took it upon himself to carry the cross because everyone is afriad she is going to pass out. (Another exaggeration. Emma wasn’t quite the frail little waif she makes herself out to be in her letters to”Lacey.”)
More musings about how there is going to be a donkey in the service for Palm Sunday, that she has to follow in since she will be crucifer. Whe is afraid the donkey will have an accident and she will ruin her shoes.
Emma says she’d better sign off before this letter goes over the postal weight limit—–she is not supposed to do that, and she did it last week, so she’d better not do it twice in a row……She is so blessed to have double-sided printing. (Really? The last letter was shorter than this one. Also, we had a scale so we could check if mail went over the 1 oz. limit. We also had plenty of extra stamps, but Emma had better not go over the postal weight limit? Really?)

Love and Blessings, Emma-Kate

More letters coming up…………

Letters to “Lacey” Part 2 (updated 1/13–see note at bottom)

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others
Emma, on the way to a Blessing of the Animals service at our church.

Emma, on the way to a Blessing of the Animals service at our church.  Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma, on the way to a Blessing of the Animals service at our church. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey


May 19, 2009
Emma begins this letter with “Hey Lacey!” in a cute font and then switches to something more readable. She starts out saying what a day it was because we went to her friend’s funeral. (The young man Emma calls a friend whom she probably said hello to maybe twice in 10 years.) Then she goes on to talk about (names changed) seeing a boy she babysat for named Jason with another boy she babysat, Gage. She goes up to them and asks Jason if he is having fun. Jason tells her that Gage doesn’t understand that everyone is sad because Ollie (name changed for young man who died) didn’t wake up, and she hugged Jason and they both cried. Great story, only it probably didn’t happen as Emma was glued to my side the whole time we were at the home after the funeral AND Emma NEVER babysat Jason.

Emma goes on to say that that was nothing compared to the next day when she happened to be babysitting Jason (7 yrs) and his brother Conner (5 yrs) the following day. She said she got there at 9am and Cooner wasn’t awake yet so she went in to check on him at 10am and could tell he wasn’t asleep, so she said, “Come on, Conner! Breakfast time!” Conner didn’t open his eyes and told her he wasn’t getting up. When he said it, he called her, “Miss Em.” Emma told him that yes he was and they would go to the lake after breakfast. Conner tells her that he was going to sleep until he woke up with Ollie.

Emma tells “Lacey” how she totally lost it and picked up and held Conner in his arms and cried. Then she saw Jason standing in the doorway, and he came over and sat on the bed, putting his arm around Emma, saying “It’s ok, Miss Em. He didn’t mean it. Miss Em? It’s ok.” Emma says they must have been quite a sight. (Great story! Sadness, tears, the cute kid thing! Only thing is that I have a documented statement from Jason and Conner’s mom that Emma NEVER babysat for them! Also, another point to bring up would be that at the funeral or at Ollie’s home (I don’t remember which) a neighbor, who had several children that Ollie played with, told a similar story about his little boy waking up and asking about Ollie, and he went on to tell about the conversation he had with his son about Ollie’s death. Emma creatively stole this story and turned it into her own about Jason and Conner.)

Then Emma tells Lacey how she’s done with the depressing stuff now. She talks about the youth group lock-out at the church and how much fun she had. She goes on about her friend Jordan’s cousin Olivia who Emma says she hit it off with right away. She tells some silly stories about the lock-out (maybe true, maybe not, maybe greatly exaggerated) and then goes on about how Olivia’s uncle killed himself the November before, and how Emma and Olivia stayed up talking about very late talking about her uncles suicide for three hours. (I never looked into whether or not this story was true or not. I still have Jordan’s mother’s phone number, so I could call and verify, but I don’t care enough to bother. I’m just going to bet this was another one of Emma’s creations.)

Emma goes on to talk about her friend Jordan throwing herself at rob and looking like an idiot, and how Jordan was mad at her. Then Emma has a pity party about how she and Jordan used to be close but weren’t anymore, and Jordan was the only girlfriend she had and knowing she lost her hurt. What’s kind of funny here is that Emma adds, “And I’ve never had a close relationship with my mom.” I know this was said out of teen angst and for drama, and now it’s just kind of funny as well as sad. Emma and I did almost everything together. Even at the age of 16 we would read a book together (usually I was the one who read aloud), she snuggled up to me to watch tv and usually wanted me to put my arm around her or she would hold my hand. I taught her my hobby (beadwork) and we worked on projects together. Emma talked to me about everything from books to current events to the boys she liked. She frequently told her dad we were having “girl time” if she was talking to me and he walked in the room, and she made him leave the room. Up until she was 16 years old, Emma frequently slept in my bed when her dad was on the road. She only quit because she complained that I got up to early in the morning and it disturbed her when I let the dogs out, took a shower, etc. The women in our bible study group were shocked by Emma’s actions. Frequently at our group, Emma wanted to sit by me and snuggled up against me. Ask any homeschooling mom, and they will tell you that to get out for a couple of hours among other adults, as a mom, the last person you want to sit with or talk to after being with them all day every day, is your kid. I was happy to get to visit with others, but Emma was usually right there with me even then, or as a friend in the group so bluntly put it, “She was always up your ass!!” (I love you. You know who you are.) Nope! Emma and I never had a close relationship.
Then Emma states that she’s sort of depressed, not as in suicidal, just unhappy and adds a great big “*SIGH.*” (Maybe one of the side effects of DDT poisoning is depression?)

Emma gets back on the topic of what fun she had at the youth group lock out and how she played a trick on Ms. Karen, the youth group leader, when she pretended to burn her hand in the fire. (Cute story, and yes, she actually did this, but may have exaggerated some of the details.)

Next Emma goes into how she was looking through the bible and found that the universal call to worship, Psalm 117 is the shortest Psalm and the longest one is 176 verses, and says ok, she finds strange ways to occupy her time.

Next Emma talks about how very honored she was after church when Elizabeth, a little girl from the Sunday school class Emma assisted with wanted to sit with her during coffee hour, and how after church, Elizabeth’s mom cam running out to our van and said Elizabeth wouldn’t stop crying because she hadn’t hugged “Miss Em” goodbye. (Actually, Phill, Emma and I were walking out to the van at the same time Elizabeth’s family was leaving and Elizabeth did want to hug any goodbye, but there was no crying. This story sort of happened, but not quite the way Emma wrote it. Emma goes on to say how Elizabeth just loves her and would come home with her, and how Elizabeth adores Emma, whom she sees for two hours a week, but misbehaves for her parents, so see why she doesn’t want kids? (Kind of like Emma?)

Emma tells a few more cute stories about school, the neighborhood, and shares a quote she likes, “Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”
Emma also mentions how she’s been singing Praise you in This Storm (Casting Crowns) and types out the lyric in a curly-que font just in case “Lacey” hasn’t heard it:

I was sure by now
God, You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen” and it’s still raining
So I will praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I cry
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm….

Blessings and love from Emma-Kate

Note: If you are a regular reader to this blog, you have already noticed, but since I seem to be picking up new folks who maybe haven’t had time to go through the whole thing, I will mention it here. Above, I wrote about Emma taking the story of the neighbor and his little boy after Ollie’s funeral and turning it into a story about herself. This seems to be a theme with Emma and you will see it over and over again in the blog. One prime example is when Emma claimed to have babysat and had to call 911 and lock herself in the bathroom because one of the children, who happens to be bipolar, was so out of control. Emma HEARD the story about the parents having to call 911 on their bipolar son because he was out of control. This did happen, but not to Emma.
I don’t know if there is a name for this kind of behavior. It is useful for writing fiction, but not in real life, and not when you make innocent people your victims. I wonder if Dr Richard Born (Applied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga. http://www.appliedpsychhealth.com ), Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga. http://www.mannatreatment.com ) or Suzie McGarvey (North Gwinnett Counseling Associates http://www.ngcounselingassociates.com , formerly with Lanier Counseling http://www.laniercounseling.com ) or maybe even Emma’s therapists at the Social Empowerment Center http://www.socialempowermentcenter.com Rachelle Hutchinson, Emily Kirby, Candace Whitman, Lori McCarthy or even Emma’s DEFACS caseworker Alicia Yearwood and Maria Wyatt (I will have to double check that last name, but I believe that was it.) could shed some light on this for us. A girl can’t have too many therapists.

Letters to Lacey Part 1

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others
20130430_15

If you’ve been reading along, you will know that in 9th grade, we quit homeschooling and put Emma in public school, more specifically, Jackson County Comprehensive High School in Jefferson, Ga. With the exception of Drama under teacher Bonnie Roberts, Emma hated public school almost as much as she hated homeschooling under that micromanaging, control-freak teacher (me again!) she had. I couldn’t win. Emma no longer called me a control-freak on a daily basis, but now she accused me of giving up on her. I didn’t stick to homeschooling. It was all my fault that she was so miserable. I’m the one that quit homeschooling her. (I guess her behavior had nothing to do with the REASON I quit homeschooling.)

The 2nd semester of 9th grade started in Jan. 2009, and Emma began having a lot of vomiting issues. (I will write more about Emma’s vomiting at some point in the blog.) Emma hated school, had no friends at school, and hated riding the bus with all the degenerates. She claimed everyone she knew at school smoked or drank or had sex. There was no one she wanted to be friends with. The more Emma complained about school, the more her vomiting increased, and she missed so much school she was in danger of having to repeat the 9th grade. It was then that Phill and I pulled her out of school and let her finish the 9th grade on line.

Phill was the computer person in the family. He had always been interested in them and read and studied them. He built computers for people, repaired computers, and managed web sites for a few people. I, on the other hand, was barely functional on a computer. I did not understand what Emma did to get on line, how she did her classes, etc., so I let Phill handle it. If Emma needed help, I couldn’t help her anyway.

Sometime during that semester online, Emma got paired up with someone in her online English class for a pen-pal assignment. Emma was paired with a young lady from Dalton, Ga., who, for the sake of privacy, I call “Lacey.” I don’t know the details of the assignment. I think they were supposed to write letters to each other, and somehow report this to their teacher. Emma and “Lacey” started out writing letter, then e-mail, and then texting. Several months after becoming pen-pals, on Emma’s birthday of that year, Emma claimed that “Lacey” called her from the ER after having been raped and attempting suicide. If you’ve read my previous posts, you’ve seen that there were many other lies Emma told about “Lacey” and her family. Since I have some of the letters Emma e-mailed to Lacey, I will share them here. I can’t print the letters without Emma’s permission because of those pesky copyright laws, so I will paraphrase and tell you what is in them. If you would like to read the letters for yourself, just e-mail me at: losingemma@gmail.com and I will be happy to provide you with the copies I have.

Emma spent a lot of time writing very long letters to “Lacey.” Her letters were almost more like a diary. We will start with the first one I have:

March 17, 2009

Emma’s letters usually started with a “Hey, “Lacey!”

In this letter she starts out saying that she had a pretty sad day. She says she just found out a friend and neighbor took his on life. (Actually, this young man was not a friend. Emma had probably said nothing more than hello to him in the approximate 10 years he had lived down the street from us.) She talks a little bit about the family and mentioned that the mother was in our bible study group. (This wasn’t exactly accurate either. The mother visited our group a few times, but did not come regularly.)

Emma moves on to “brighter topics” and writes about how she has this idea for a music-based curriculum, written by Emma herself, on finding God in popular culture. (Emma never wrote music.) She talks about how the problem would be teaching kids who would be a year younger than she was, but she knew if they gave her a chance, she could give them an awesome year. She was going to talk to our priest and write up a sample lesson for his perusal sometime the following month. She hoped he would agree and let her write the curriculum. Emma states she wants to do the first topic on “Legacy” (Nicole Nordeman) and quotes the chorus:

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to you enough?
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

(Ok, so what was really going on in our lives at this time? Emma was an assistant Sunday School teacher to an adult every Sunday. She loved the preschool kids, and they loved her, but her main job seemed to be taking the kids to the bathroom and assisting the teacher. Funny how Phill and I never heard about Emma’s plans for writing a curriculum.)

Emma goes on to talk about another big project she had, a young man A. with neurological problems whom we were trying to get involved in the youth group at church to help him feel included with the other kids. It wasn’t Emma’s personal project. There were several people trying to encourage A. to join the group.

Then Emma goes on to describe her friends from youth group: Jordan, Rob, Rob’s little sister, Molly, Evan, Nick, and our Deacon’s granddaughter, T. who Emma said was in love with Evan and wanted to marry him. Emma writes that Rob asked her out in 6th grade, and that Molly planned on Emma and Rob getting married. (If I remember right, Rob told Emma he liked her when they were in 6th grade, in the choir room, and she didn’t speak to him again for about a year and a half.)

Emma writes cute stories about helping with the Lock-in and keeping up with the younger kids. Cute stories about playing “Bloody Mary” in the bathroom with the kids and such and how the kids wanted Emma to tell them stories about HER life! (Really? I’m not quite buying it, having spent time with those same kids.) Emma ends that section saying how she will NEVER be the “in-charge” person of the lock-in again. (Ummmm, Emma wasn’t in charge. There was an adult there who was in charge. No one in their right mind would leave a 9th grader in charge of a lock-in.)

Then Emma tells “Lacey” about her family, that her dad drives a tractor trailer for UPS and how he got baptized two years ago and how that is HUGE for her and she about tears up when he takes communion because he didn’t for so long. She mentions that her mom doesn’t work and that her parents are really old compared to most peoples’. (Thanks for that, Emma!) She talks about the pets and that we foster dogs for the rescue and how she keeps her fingernails painted year round in exotic colors, and her toes match in spring and summer, but she doesn’t bother in winter.

Emma goes on to write how she spent August through Februrary in Jackson County Comprehensive High School (JCCHS) and it was hell on earth with drinking, drugs, prescription abuse, and pregnancy all rampant at that school She claimed it had the highest teen pregnancy rate in the country. (I wonder where she got her statistics?) Emma claims she couldn’t let her guard down for a moment and that the girls on her bus openly bought and used illegal substances literally right under her nose. (According to the girls Emma rode the bus with, they never saw anyone buying or selling drugs on the bus.) Emma talks about how she cried herself to sleep more often than not, and how she went from a sweet, naive Christian girl to a raw, exposed, helpless teenager in situations beyond her control. It was the darkest thing she every experienced, and she couldn’t even tell her parents what she saw and felt at that school!

Next comes a cute story about Emma and her friend Jordan at a church retreat. (Maybe true, maybe not.)

Emma ends the letter with talking about one of her favorite lines from “100 Fun Things to do at Walmart” and signs the letter, “Love and Blessings,”

To Be Continued…………..

Letters to “Lacey” – Preface (UPDATED 01/06/20115)

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. Emma still claims to have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com
Thank you to my readers for your support and please continue to share the blog with others.


Letters to Lacey –Preface (How Emma ended up in on-line school, and connecting with the penpal she claimed was raped and attempted suicide.)

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

When we homeschooled, Emma won a local spelling bee and then lost out in the next level, but I think she had fun anyway, especially because she beat out a couple of boys that were older than she was!

After five years of homeschooling, we decided to quit and put Emma in public school. I’m still a huge fan of homeschooling, but for Emma, it was probably a mistake. At first, I thought we did everything pretty well. In addition to school, Emma was involved in many, many activities. I wanted to make sure that Emma was well “socialized.” Over the years while homeschooling, Emma was involved in an arts program and took other homeschool group classes, she was on a kayaking team, in a homeschool chorus, church choir, church newsletter team, Sunday School, piano lessons, softball, a knitting group, a neighborhood bible study, a church book club, was a church acolyte, sang with the Gwinnett Young Singers under Lynn Urda and got to sing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, and we also went on homeschool field trips to places like the UGA Vet school, WSB TV/Radio in Atlanta, Coca Cola, the William Harris Homestead, the Capital, etc.

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends.  To Emma's left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

A field trip to Atlanta with some homeschool friends. To Emma’s left is Johnathan McCravy, and the other redhead is Derek McCravy, the sons of my good friend Sandi McCravy (Sandra Brooks McCravy)

Homeschooling started out great. Emma and I both enjoyed it. Seeing your child get excited about learning is an amazing experience. If Emma wanted to spend extra time on a subject, it was no problem. As a parent, I saw how so many things could turn into a learning opportunity. We would be out in public somewhere and see something that brought to mind something we learned in school. Or we would hear of something and want to know more about it, so Emma would do some research. For example, one birthday or Christmas, my sister sent Emma a prayer box necklace, and we were curious, so Emma looked up the history of prayer boxes and shared with me what she found. Thank goodness for Google!

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor's Mansion in Atlanta.

Emma Katherine Roey, Derek McCravy, and Johnathan McCravy on a field trip to the Governor’s Mansion in Atlanta.

I probably should have stopped homeschooling in middle school, as after 2 or three years, it got more and more difficult. If I left the room, Emma kept books hidden in the school room, so she would pull out a book and read instead of doing her school work. We could have easily been done with school by 2pm every day, but Emma started dragging things out to 5pm, and sometimes later. I didn’t like doing school in the afternoon because I was always very tired in the afternoons and felt better in the mornings. I didn’t know at the time what was wrong, but I later found I had a medical condition causing the fatigue. School was Monday through Fridays, but sometimes Emma would drag her feet so much that we would have to do school on Saturdays. Part of the problem may have been that I had a child with a higher IQ than I have (I don’t know for sure about my IQ, but I’m guessing it is not as high as Emma’s!) and that Emma had no respect for Phill and I as authority figures. That may have been our mistake. We were a tight little family and we did everything together. Phill and I probably shouldn’t have included Emma in on so much, but we often treated her more as an equal in the family rather than the child. Because we both adored our daughter, her wishes often overrode our own, so yes, she was spoiled, but I reasoned that all kids seem to be spoiled nowadays.

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter.  Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma, showing her silly side after decorating an Easter Egg from a kit my sister sent one Easter. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

In addition to reading when she should have been doing her school work, Emma did things like lying and cheating. If Emma needed to re-do some math problems, I would write the pages and the problem numbers on the board, and we would recheck them later. Emma started erasing the board, hoping I would forget about the work she needed to re-do.

I had to hide my teacher’s manual, so that Emma couldn’t cheat. One time, she hid one of my books, and I’m not sure as to the reasoning behind that. I guess she was trying to get out of math class that day.

I think I’ve mentioned Emma’s affinity for sweets, and how we would have to lock up things like chocolate chips, marshmallows, etc. or Emma would steal them. I would be all set to bake and not have what I needed because Emma had eaten them all. We also had to lock up the Halloween candy, and even with that, Emma discovered where the key was and I found dozens of candy wrappers in her room. One year, at the end of the school year, I was cleaning up our school room and found dozens of candy wrappers hidden out there between books, under things, and crammed in anywhere Emma could hide them that I might not look. She had a lot of arts and crafts that she used both for fun and for school, and these were things that I didn’t bother with much, so she knew where to hide things so I wouldn’t see them. It seemed funny to me that she was too lazy to bother to throw all the wrappers away. She could have easily hidden them in a piece of paper and thrown it in the garbage a few at a time, or even shoved them deep, down in the trash while I wasn’t looking or when I was outside or not home.

Emma’s attitude also soured, and after hearing a clip on the radio about a news anchor whose mic was on when she was talking about her sister-in-law, calling her a “control-freak” and “micromanaging,” those became Emma’s two favorite phrases to describe her mother. She called me these things over and over again. Emma decided it was time to challenge my authority as her teacher, and all of a sudden, I was the idiot who knew nothing, and she was the teen who knew it all. She seemed to think my whole goal in homeschooling was to make her life miserable.

Because I couldn’t trust Emma to get her work done, I ended up being her babysitter or maybe “warden” is a better word. I couldn’t leave the school room to do other things because Emma would stop doing her work. Homeschooling took a lot of time, for me as a parent, but then it became endless. It was sad to me because I knew so many kids at the arts program who were homeschooling and did not have the attitude that Emma had. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I enjoyed homeschooling with Emma the first few years. I think I learned as much as she did, but when she was supposed to becoming more mature and independent and able to do her assignments on her own, without me there at every step, Emma just didn’t do it. Maybe it was her way of rebelling, I don’t know. I just knew homeschooling wasn’t working anymore, and it was time to quit. I felt like a homeschool failure, but I knew I had seen many kids in the arts program quit to attend public school. Some parents worried they couldn’t deal with the difficult subjects like biology and algebra. Other parents, like me, couldn’t deal with the nasty teenage attitude.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School

High School seemed like a good time for a fresh start, and we enrolled Emma in Jackson County Comprehensive High School in Jefferson Ga. I remember, later on, a friend who knew Emma personally commenting to me that Emma seemed to have a fascination or obsession with sex. Emma was always commenting on the kids at school being sexually active. Sometime the summer before Emma started her freshman year at JCCHS, we’d seen an article in the local paper about the number of kids in Jackson county who were sexually active. It seems like I remember reading that 70% of the kids in high school had had sex. Once Emma saw that, it must have stuck with her and to her, everyone (except Emma, who would later buy herself a purity ring) she knew was having sex. Emma talked about the kids at school having sex a LOT. If it wasn’t sex, it was about someone being pregnant or thinking they might be pregnant.

Before school started, Emma, along with all the other freshmen, had to ride the bus to school and find their classes in an effort to make their first day easier. If you’ve read my earlier posts, Emma claimed that on the bus she sat next to a girl who was a freshman for the 2nd time and who had a 4 year old. This turned out not to be true. Emma also claimed that there were about 10 pregnant freshman girls, but later when I checked with our neighbor who was a P.E. teacher at the school, Coach Cora Andrews (Dr. Cora Andrews), she told me there were only two pregnancies that year at the school.

About the first month or two, Emma LOVED school. She loved riding the bus with three girls in our neighborhood who were all sophomores and one neighbor who lived in Quail Crossing, a subdivision close to our Deer Creek Subdivision, who was also a freshman. I remember Emma coming home after a week or so of school and defiantly telling me, “You could never make me homeschool again!”

After a couple of months, Emma’s tone changed and she wanted to go back to homeschooling. She hated school and had nothing nice to say about the girls on the bus that she started out calling her “friends.” All of a sudden, the stories changed and these 4 girls were all having sex, drinking, doing drugs, stealing alcohol from their parents, etc. Emma no longer called them friends, but referred to them as acquaintances. She made up stories about one the brother of one of the girls who lived on our street, claiming that he had been arrested for pot possession for the second time, but the parents didn’t know. She complained about how much time was wasted in class, and how much time was wasted riding the bus. One day, she gave me a blow by blow account of her day to tell me how little work she actually did. One day Emma got very angry with me for not pulling her out of Jackson County Comprehensive High School. I will never forget her screaming at me how it was my fault because I “gave up on her.”

Besides the “acquaintances” Emma rode the bus with, she had nothing nice to say about anyone on the bus. She claimed that kids smoked on the bus and the bus driver didn’t notice. She claimed that drugs were sold on the bus. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you’ll remember that Emma claimed she was drug searched when a neighbor boy turned in her name along with her “acquaintances” because he had a grudge against one of the girls. (This story turned out not to be true, and I confirmed it with one of the school administrators, Kendra Phillips, who told me that if Emma had been drug searched, Ms. Phillips would have been present for it. I also checked with some of the girls Emma rode the bus with, and they never saw anyone selling drugs on the bus.) After reading a Reader’s Digest article on teenagers having drug parties, where they took medication from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw everything into a bowl and then took handfuls of pills, Emma claimed that these parties went on at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, and she mentioned one of the girls, in particular, as a participant in these parties. (This is the same young lady Emma made up the story of having an abortion that fall, and then at the end of the year claimed she thought she was pregnant again.) Also, one day we saw a news clip about a boy in another part of the country who wanted to dress as a girl, do his hair, wear makeup, etc. Shortly after that, Emma claimed there were boys at school who dressed as girls, wore makeup and pantyhose, etc. I remember I just sort of blew this off thinking Emma didn’t have her facts straight. JCCHS had a fairly strict dress code, so I couldn’t imagine this going on, but Emma insisted. It wasn’t something I cared enough about to investigate, so I never did.

From what I could tell, Emma’s “acquaintances” still thought of her as a friend. They tried to invite Emma to do things with them, but Emma frequently refused. She didn’t want to associate with these girls. I didn’t think about it until later when a friend pointed out to me that Emma seemed to always think of herself as superior to everyone else. All the kids at school were drug users, having sex, having abortions, drinking, etc., but my daughter was the “good girl.” She complained that her “aquaintances” made fun of her for attending church, being involved in the youth group, being a goody two-shoes, being smart, etc. She also claimed they made fun of her for being smart, the way she talked, the way she dressed, said she had a big nose etc., etc., etc. If most of us look back to high school, we can remember some teasing, and maybe even some bullying, but these girls tried to befriend Emma, and I have to wonder if any or all of Emma’s accusations were true. I can imagine some teasing going on, but the girl Emma claimed to have had an abortion and then possibly a 2nd pregnancy (in addition to taking drugs and drinking), was nothing but kind to Emma when Emma started public school. She was very helpful in explaining what to expect, what she would need, telling her about classes, teachers, etc.

Emm's old lady shirt.  Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emm’s old lady shirt. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

One particular complaint I remember was about a shirt Emma wore. (See picture.) Phill had picked up this shirt at Sam’s or Costco, thinking Emma would like it. I don’t remember if we just gave it to her or saved it for her birthday, but in any event, it was very similar to what we saw lots of teen girls wearing, and it looked cute on her.

One day, Emma came home complaining that her “acquaintances” had made fun of her wearing this shirt. I asked how that could be as it looked pretty much like what all the other girls wore. Emma said that they told her that hers looked like an old lady shirt. Ok, dear readers. If you are familiar with this style, would someone please explain to me how Emma’s shirt looks any different from the dozens and dozens of this style that I have seen on teen girls?

I had tried to encourage Emma to get involved in school activities, and offered to take her to music lessons if she wanted to join the band. Since Emma played the piano, I knew she could easily learn another instrument and get into the band since I had learned a 2nd instrument in high school so that I could play in the jazz band. At least one, and maybe two of Emma’s “acquaintances” on the bus were in the band, and one of the girls had told me about the band trips. Remembering my own band trips, I thought this was something Emma would enjoy, but she claimed that the band trips were known for drinking, drugs, and kids having sex on the bus. She was definitely not interested.

The Drama Department at JCCHS

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts.  Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma got the lead in the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmernan under her Drama teacher, Bonnie Roberts. Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma did get into Drama I, and she loved it. She hated the kids who were just in there because they had to take an elective and were not serious about Drama. Emma tried out for the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman and got the lead. I remember meeting her teacher, Bonnie Roberts, and Mrs. Roberts told me about Emma walking into the audition and when she spoke, “Meryl Streep’s voice came out!” Emma has a great voice that projects well.

Emma was in her element once she found Drama. She absolutely loved it and loved Mrs. Roberts. Like everything else, Emma began telling stories about the Drama group. I don’t even remember all the stories now, but one was that all the girls who worked on the crew were lesbians. I didn’t really buy it, and I wondered if Emma came up with this story from listening to Neal Boortz. (Phill and I were huge Neal Boortz fans, so our radio was always on whether at home or in the car, and Emma grew up listening to his program. In retrospect, I wonder if Emma lacked the maturity for this kind of program.) Several times on his program, we’d heard Neal talk about Lugs (Lesbians Until Graduation), girls who were experimenting with their sexuality or who just took on the roll of being a lesbian because they didn’t find anyone at their high school they wanted to date. According to Emma, ALL the girls on the drama crew were lesbians and I remember her talking about two off them being a couple. Whether or not this is true, who knows? It wasn’t something I cared about one way or the other.

An Early Accusation of Sexual Assault

One evening, when I picked Emma up after rehearsal, she was very upset. She claimed that she went backstage for something, and that the male lead, a young man named Johnny Boddie, a boy Emma described as very arrogant, had tried to kiss her. Emma told me she slapped him and ran away, and then she begged me not to tell Phill about the attempted kiss. At first I questioned Emma about the story. What was she doing when she went back stage? What was Johnny doing? What did they talk about? Why did she think he was trying to kiss her? Was he just reaching for something that happened to be in her proximity? Later on I wondered if this Emma’s first attempt at claiming sexual assault? This would have been about a year and half before Emma alleged to have been sexually assaulted by the priest. Was this a practice run or her dress rehearsal for the next big show? Later, when I go through Emma’s e-mails, you will see how she describes the story in a much more sinister fashion to her pen-pal, “Lacey.”

Emma was adamant that Johnny had tried to kiss her, although she never really gave me in details of how the event occurred. If that were the case, I told Emma that I thought she handled it just fine, but of course, I didn’t keep too many secrets from Phill, so I told him the story. A couple of weeks later, we were leaving church, and I don’t remember what we were talking about, but Phill brought up the story of Emma slapping Johnny Boddie, and Emma was FURIOUS with me for telling her dad. When I contacted Johnny Boddie and asked him if I could ask him a few questions about his time with Emma at JCCHS, he stated that his communications with Emma were minimal and that they had worked on one play together. He stated he had no recollection whatsoever of any conversations over topics other than the play or school work, so I never really got to ask him if he had attempted to kiss Emma. He ended his e-mail with a comment about how I should respect my daughter’s privacy or some such thing. One of Emma’s former friends told me that while Johnny was pompous, he was not aggressive. I have to admit, from his e-mail, he sounded pretty much just as Emma and her friends described him. I’m sure if he’d been disciplined for attempting to sexually assault another student, he might have felt a little differently about Emma’ right to privacy.

Emma told other interesting stories about Johnny Boddie, who was a junior when Emma was a freshman. Emma claimed that Johnny was engaged, which I thought sounded a little bizarre for a 16 year old in this day and time, and I did question her about it, but there again, I wasn’t going to go up to this 11th grade kid and ask him about the engagement. Then, that fall, not too long into the school year, Emma said that Johnny’s fiancé had moved away, and although he was a notorious flirt and cheated on his fiancé, he was still engaged. Again, I was not interested enough to investigate this story.

When the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman was put on at JCCHS, there was a scene where Johnny was shirtless, and it looked like he was pigeon chested. I don’t know if Emma had never heard of or seen this type of deformity before, but after the play, she brought it up and told me that the reason Johnny’s chest sank it was because he had been run over by a car when he was a child. Ummm, ok. I didn’t quite believe it, but I didn’t exactly give the kid a medical examination to check, so I let that one go.

Lies about Losing the Drama Competition

Jackson County Comprehensive High School's Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma's freshman year.

Jackson County Comprehensive High School’s Drama Department put on the play Metamorphosis by Mary Zimmerman Emma’s freshman year.

The drama department performed Metamorphosis for a district competition, and if they had won, they would have gone on to state. First, the play was put on at the high school during school, and then two nights for the parents. Sadly, the attendance was pretty poor, but Mrs. Roberts and the drama department did a wonderful job. Phill was working on the nights the play was put on, so he went to the dress rehearsals and video recorded the play for Mrs. Roberts and made copies. (Maybe one day he will give me a copy.) By recording the production for Mrs. Roberts, Phill was able to see the play, and I went to both shows.

Mrs. Roberts had a photographer taking photos of the cast, and the parents could buy a disc of the photos, so of course I did. I remember asking the photographer about the photos and she asked who my child was. At that time, Emma was going by Emma Kate Roey, instead of her usual Emma, so I told the photographer, and she said, “Oh! She’s the lead!” I remember being surprised because I really didn’t know anything about the play and while it sounded like Emma had a big part in it, I certainly didn’t know she was the lead. She did a wonderful job though, and I was very proud of her.

I don’t remember where the competition was, but I had to have Emma at the school early one Saturday to board the bus with the other drama kids to go to their competition. I was nervous and excited for her, and knew Emma would have a great time.

That evening, when I picked Emma up, she was not happy. Her group had not done well. Emma told me that another school had tampered with their sound equipment and ended up messing up the whole show. I really didn’t quite understand what she was saying, but according to Emma, another school had messed up their performance and they didn’t get a chance to do it over, etc., etc. I know these things have rules, and I wasn’t there, but the long and short of it was that they lost the competition. It really wasn’t until a few months ago that I contacted Bonnie Roberts to ask her about this story. Surprise, surprise! There was no tampering or vandalism as Emma claimed. Mrs. Roberts told me that her disc was not formatted properly for the equipment that they had to use at the competition. It was pretty simple really, but I guess Emma needed someone to blame for losing, so she made up another story.

Emma Complains of Racial Favoritism at JCCHS

Phill used to joke that Emma was a little racist. Emma could be very judgmental about other cultures. Emma frequently complained about reverse discrimination at her school. She thought the school showed favoritism to the black students and that the black students got away with stuff that the white students would not get away with. It’s been a few years, and her complaints were so petty, that I don’t even remember what they were. I’m not sure where this attitude came from unless it was just from our quiet life and Emma growing up in Jackson County, Ga. Phill grew up in Brick Town New Jersey, around different cultures, and I grew up overseas as well as in the U.S., moving every 2-3 years, so we both had been around a lot of different kinds of people.

One day, Emma complained about another 9th grader, a black young man, who was in Emma’s drama class. Emma told me that this young man accused her of being a racist. I have no idea what led up to the accusation, but Emma complained about this boy several times over the course of the semester. She made it very clear she did not like him at all. I remember her telling me this particular story of him saying to her, “You don’t like black people.”
She told me that she replied, “I don’t like SOME black people. I don’t like SOME white people.”
She also told me that she said, “I prefer to judge people on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin.” And then she exclaimed, “Mom! He didn’t even get that I was quoting Martin Luther King!”

Truth or Fiction? I’ll let my readers guess for themselves if this story even occurred or was it another one of Emma’s dramatizations.

ROTC

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Private Emma had nothing nice to say about ROTC at Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Before school started, Emma had to pick her electives. In addition to Drama, she had to pick another elective. I was very surprised when she chose ROTC. My daughter? Emma was not the military type. When she explained her choice to me, she told me that the period she had open for an elective her only choices were Drama or ROTC, and she said, “And Mom, I suck at dance!” Emma didn’t have a lot of experience with dance, but I thought she could have taken it and learned something, but Emma was the type, if she wasn’t good at something, she didn’t want to do it. It didn’t matter to me, and ROTC sounded pretty neat, so I hoped she would like it, but she didn’t.

ROTC brought pretty much the same complaints as Emma had about the rest of school. Sex, drugs, drinking… Emma claimed her platoon leader was mean. (This was the young man that she said accused her and her friends of having drugs on the bus, causing them to be drug searched.) Emma claimed that one of the ROTC girls in her class had a baby, and I found out later from another girl who was in ROTC with Emma that no one had a baby in ROTC that year. This classmate also told me that if you had a baby, you were out of ROTC and couldn’t rejoin.

While in ROTC, Emma told a great story (mentioned earlier) about a girl named Kristin who lived next door to us with her mother and stepfather, and how Kristin would get so nervous when she had to do presentation that she ran to the bathroom to throw up. The ROTC instructor sent Emma to check on Kristin, and Emma told me how funny it was and reenacted the tale of Kristin with her head over the toilet, laughing and saying that she didn’t know why she got so nervous and then would throw up again. Great story, but one of Emma’s ROTC classmates told me that it was just that, a story. This young lady told me that Kristin was a good speaker and later became a platoon leader.

Emma’s second semester, she had to take P.E. and Health, so she didn’t get to take Drama that semester. She was very unhappy at school, and never made any friends in 9th grade. She never invited anyone over, and the only time she was invited to someone’s home was along with some other girls to work on an English project. If you’ve read my earlier posts, that was the night she also went with this classmate to the church youth group at Walnut Fork Baptist Church, Hoschton. I won’t repeat the story again here, but Emma lied about her classmate, her classmate’s family, what went on at the youth group, etc.

One of Emma’s classmates told me, “Honestly I think Emma just really wanted attention and she wasn’t getting it from anybody but you. Any attention is better than no attention for her whether it be good or bad. She got absolutely no attention at all at school. People didn’t really get along with her there.”

Emma told me she couldn’t try out for the play that 2nd semester because it was only for the kids in the drama class, so she was disappointed about that since it was the only class she liked. Emma became more and more miserable and started throwing up more and more. She missed so much school that we had to pull her out and she finished 9th grade on line. It in her on-line English class where Emma was paired up with a young lady whom I will call “Lacey” who was another 9th grader from a different part of the state.

As I understood it, Emma had an English project where each child was assigned a pen-pal, and “Lacey” was Emma’s. They were supposed to write letters, but other than that I don’t remember how it worked. They may have had to copy their letters and turn them in to the English instructor. Emma got really into the letters and complained that “Lacey” did not write as often as she was supposed to.

Emma seemed to really enjoy the pen-pal relationship, and when the class was over, the two girls continued to e-mail and text each other. Emma began making up stories about “Lacey” and her family. Some of these stories were as follows:

Emma claimed “Lacey” had been molested as a child and volunteered with her church helping other kids who’d been molested. (Lie)

Emma claimed that “Lacey’s” mother had breast cancer (true) and was hospitalized and nearly died two or three times. (“Lacey’s” mother did have breast cancer, but was treated as an outpatient and never required hospitalization.)

The reason “Lacey” had to go to public school in 10th grade was because her mother was too sick from cancer to homeschool her anymore. (Lie. See above.)

When “Lacey” was in 10th grade, Emma claimed “Lacey’s” periods were so bad that she frequently had to leave school. (I never verified this one, but would be willing to bet it’s not true.)

And then, a few months after starting the pen-pal relationship, on Dec. 19, 2009, Emma’s birthday, Emma went to her church youth group, and when Phill and I picked her up, she claimed that she had received a call from “Lacey” who was at the ER near her NW Georgia home, after she’d been raped in her home during a Christmas get-together. For Emma’s 16th birthday, we’d planned on going out to eat, but because Phill was sick, he asked her if we could postpone. Emma was all involved in her youth group, but didn’t really have any friends to invite to a party, so it was a pretty low key birthday, and later Emma would complain to Suzie McGarvey, (North Georgia Counseling Associates, Formerly of Lanier Counseling) that her birthday wasn’t special enough. This was also the birthday where I’d taken Emma shopping several times and spent well over $400 (I want to say $460, but I can’t remember the exact total at the moment.) on her, a good bit more than we usually spent for a birthday or Christmas.

I keep thinking back to the comment made by one of Emma’s classmates, how she didn’t get any attention at school. Was the rape story because Emma did not get enough attention on her 16h birthday?

In any event, I will share with you some of the e-mails that Emma wrote to “Lacey.”

Emma Turns 21 Years Old!

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claims to still have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Emma Katherine Roey Born:  Dec. 19, 1993 6lbs. 12oz. 7:34 AM 19 1/2" long

Emma Katherine Roey
Born: Dec. 19, 1993
6lbs. 12oz.
7:34 AM
19 1/2″ long

Emma Turns 21!
(NOTE: It was important to me to write on Emma’s birthday, even though I had a terrible headache, so if you read this post on Dec. 19th, I have gone back an re-written, edited it, etc., with a little clearer head, but again, I was in a hurry this morning, Dec. 20th, so I may need to do some more.)
Twenty-one years ago today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Wow. Things certainly didn’t turn out anything like I expected! I wanted to spend the day writing about that wonderful day that Emma came into the world, but I’ve been busy with work and with the holidays, so I’m just going to share a few thoughts, and maybe one day later, I’ll write about Emma’s birth. In any event, I hope Emma has a wonderful 21st birthday. Maybe her dad got her an expensive piece of jewelry that she wanted, a new iphone, or the hair removal laser treatments she wanted if she didn’t get them when she graduated high school. Maybe she’s out with her other mom, Sandra Brooks McCravy, or if her friends Kayla Benifield Weaver (and husband Blair) or Abbey Benito are home from Armstrong College in Savannah, Ga., and Anderson University, Anderson, S.C., respectively, and Emma will get to socialize a bit. I wonder if Emma is having her favorite cheesecake instead of birthday cake. Phill used to make banana pudding for my birthday, and we’d always pick up a cheesecake for Emma’s. She much preferred that over birthday cake.
I was thinking about the young people I know that are around Emma’s age. I think most of us will agree that 21 is not grown up. Most of us didn’t feel grown up until we were about 30 and most 21 year olds are still living off mom and dad. I do know a couple of young people who went through some technical programs, got jobs, apartments, etc., and are living on their own, but not many. A lot of kids, like Emma, lack the maturity to do so, and some kids are working on career paths that take much longer, so they are supported by mom and dad while they work on their degrees.
They say a mother’s work is never done. I’ve certainly found that to be true! As a mother, I’m going to hold Emma accountable for her actions. I gave her the opportunity to keep this between her dad and me, and I would have taken down the blog, but Emma chose not to take that path, so I will continue researching, investigating, taking notes, and writing the blog. There are many things I haven’t written about because I don’t want Emma to know everything I know. Some information I should probably hold on to for a while, and I will write about it when the time is right. You can bet though, as long as Emma is going around lying, and accusing me of crimes, I’m going to be behind the scenes collecting information.
Who expects their child to grow up and do horrible things and hurt people? Sadly, I’ve met many parents who’ve been through something similar with their own children, and as one mom said to me, “I didn’t raise him that way.” I certainly agree. Phill and I didn’t raise Emma to be a liar. Of course we didn’t even know how much Emma had lied about until much, much later.
Emma’s dad refuses to discuss Emma with me and has no answer as to why she claims I poisoned her with DDT. In fact, I can only contact Phill on matters related to the divorce or he has threatened to block me from e-mails and texts. Kind of pathetic, I know. Phill knows how much Emma has lied, and he knows she’s lying about being abused, being sexually molested, and about being poisoned with DDT. He knows about all the lies I’ve mentioned in the blog. When Emma made up crazy stories about her friend, Kayla Benifield Weaver, Kayla’s grandparents, and Kayla’s mom, Sheree Barwise, I told Phill about them at the time, so he’s aware of Emma’s long history of lying. She’s daddy’s little girl though, and he’s going to stay in denial as long as he can.
This blog isn’t about Phill though. As, I said earlier, I intend to hold Emma accountable. If she wants to be estranged from her mother, that is her choice. I’ve talked to many parents of estranged children. Some of these kids grew up in difficult circumstances, and others, like Emma, had pretty uneventful childhoods with two parents who loved them, but for whatever reason, needed some kind of drama and turned their parents into the villains in their lives and blame them for every problem they have. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of this out there whether it is because of the entitlement generation, mental illness, or what have you.
If Emma wanted to discuss any real problems we had in our family, I’m perfectly fine with that. I can certainly own up to the fact that I made mistakes as a parent. BUT, as long as Emma is going to accuse me of abuse and of attempted murder, and accuse a priest of sexually molesting her,, I will leave no stone unturned. I will keep writing and keep investigating. Emma had the opportunity to deal with me once and move on. Now she will be dealing with me for the rest of my life. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get anywhere near Emma. She already filed a police report claiming a car that looked like mine pulled into the driveway and sat on a night she knew I was at a neighbor’s home down the street (and fortunately I had friends follow me into the subdivision and follow me out because we all suspected she might do something like that. I will know everything I can about Emma from afar.
As a parents, our job was to raise Emma to be a decent human being. Obviously, we failed at that, and it’s a little late to send her to her room for a time-out, but as long as Emma is hurting other people, I will be around. Should she ever accuse someone again of hurting her, sexually molesting her, etc., I will be the first one to step forward with all the documentation of Emma’s lies. This little girl has cried “Wolf” one too many times.
In any event, Happy Birthday Emma. I hope it was all worth it.
Love, Mom

A Christmas Past

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claims to still have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.  If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at:  losingemma@gmail.com

Emma's birthday the year she had several friends spend the night and we took them to the ice skating rink, Ice Forum in Duluth, Ga.

Emma’s birthday the year she had several friends spend the night and we took them to the ice skating rink, Ice Forum in Duluth, Ga.

Before being removed from my home, I was working on collecting a lot of sweet and funny stories from Emma’s childhood and putting them together so she would have them when she was grown. Phill still has all that on his computer, so I can’t really do it now, but I will still write down some of her stories because for so many of them, Phill wasn’t around, so I’m the only one to tell them. I think Phill may have been working weekends when Emma was in about 1st grade, and I took her to see Santa at the Hoschton Pavillion. The Hoschton’s Women’s Club sponsored having Santa come every year and took a polaroid of your child with Santa and gave out little goodie bags. It was a big deal in Hoschton, Ga., and everyone we knew with small children went up to the pavillion on a December Saturday morning for the big event. Emma was always so man shy that I don’t know if we ever did get a picture of her sitting on Santa’s lap. Usually our picture showed a somewhat distrustful Emma standing next to Santa, with a little distance between the man in red and herself. She loved Santa, but only let him get so close. This particular year, Santa had just visited Emma’s school a few days before, but at the pavillion, Santa was played by one of our neighbors, and when it was Emma’s turn, he called her by name to come up to him so she could tell him what she wanted for Christmas, get her photo taken, and get a goodie bag. As a mom, it was just one of the cutest things your kids do, and I so enjoyed the magical feeling of the season of Christmas and the excitement of taking Emma to see Santa. When she was done, Emma said goodbye to Santa and walked away. She took my hand and we headed to the car. I could hear her muttering to herself, and she sounded rather disgusted. I asked her what she was saying and she told me how this was the real Santa at the pavillion. That Santa at her school was NOT the real Santa. Then she added, “He didn’t even know my name!”

Emma turns 21 on Dec. 19!   (I guess I shouldn't be expecting an invitation to the party!  I might spike the punch with DDT!)

Emma turns 21 on Dec. 19! (I guess I shouldn’t be expecting an invitation to the party! I might spike the punch with DDT!)

AND………….Since Emma is about to turn the bit 21 in about 11 days, I should probably mention that she has an outstanding fine at the Winder, Ga. library. Since she’s an adult now and wants to be in charge of her life, so a good place to start would be to take care of those fines. They were on some Janette Oke books and a knitting book. I guess I will see if Emma wants to step up and pay them, or does she want her mom to pick up after her like usual.

Emma’s Family Creations

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claims to still have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

Emma got the lead in her school's production of Metamorphoses when she attended Jackson County Comprehensive High School.   When they performed the play in a competition and lost, Emma lied about why they lost, and this was confirmed to my by her Drama Teacher, Bonnie Roberts.  (I will later share more about Emma's experience with the Drama Department at both JCCHS and Jefferson High School, but it's too long to go into tonight.  I just wanted to share this picture because of Emma's gift for acting.  She had the lead in the play, and then went on to play the roll of a victim of sexual abuse and then of child abuse, followed by the roll of girlfriend and the roll of bride-to-be!  Quite a lot of drama for one young life!

Emma got the lead in her school’s production of Metamorphoses when she attended Jackson County Comprehensive High School. When they performed the play in a competition and lost, Emma lied about why they lost, and this was confirmed to my by her Drama Teacher, Bonnie Roberts. (I will later share more about Emma’s experience with the Drama Department at both JCCHS and Jefferson High School, but it’s too long to go into tonight. I just wanted to share this picture because of Emma’s gift for acting. She had the lead in the play, and then went on to play the roll of a victim of sexual abuse and then of child abuse, followed by the roll of girlfriend and the roll of bride-to-be! Quite a lot of drama for one young life!

I really wanted to add this post to the previous post about Emma and her boyfriend, Bud, and I will, but I first wanted to post my thoughts before I do go back and add it, so that my loyal readers don’t have to go back and wade through a post they’ve already read, just to get to one little section that I’ve added.

For some reason, when I got the e-mail from Emma, this line really stuck in my head:

“Oh, and stalking my boyfriend and his family until THEY dumped me?”

I find that this line in Emma’s letter to me, after Bud broke up with her, speaks volumes. VOLUMES. If you think back to being 19 or 20 and having a boyfriend, most of us would agree that we were into the relationship with the boyfriend/girlfriend, and while most of us might have met our boyfriend’s parents, depending on if they lived nearby, we were not at all into making them our family. Most 19 year olds are more into the moment. Why was Emma trying to create an instant family? She was telling people she was engaged when she was not. She was telling people she and Bud were going to go ahead and get married, and she even asked one of her dad’s friends to give her away.

Phill won’t discuss Emma with me, won’t discuss the lies she’s told, and can’t even explain to me why she accused me of poisoning her with DDT, so I have to come to my own conclusions based on what other people have told me about Emma. Emma got rid of her mom and replaced her with Sandra Brooks McCravy. She had her dad wrapped around her little finger and he would do pretty much whatever she wanted, letting her get her driver’s license when he originally said she could not get it until she was 18. (With mom out of the house, and Dad on the road much of the week, Phill couldn’t keep asking the neighbors to drive Emma to school, and God forbid she be put in Jackson County Comprehensive High School and ride the bus.) He got her a car and replaced it twice after she wrecked and totaled two cars. He let her take off and move to Ohio, without every meeting the family Emma was moving in with. I am assuming Emma was asking someone else to give her away because they were not close enough to the situation to know that Emma was lying about getting married to Bud. She couldn’t ask her dad to give her away because he (hopefully) would have asked some questions like maybe, “When is the wedding?” There was no wedding. Emma was just creating more drama for herself. Now she could star as the bride in her imaginary new life, a new role, and a change for her after playing a victim for so long. Once again, though, she had the lead.

Why was Emma so eager to create a new family? Phill and I always joked about what a boring life we had. Emma’s dad went to work and took care of his family. Emma’s mom stayed home and took care of things at home until later taking a very part time little job with a school program. We didn’t do a lot of exciting things. We didn’t take a lot of trips. We were careful with money and trying to save for Emma’s college and for retirement. We did all the responsible things. We bought our house knowing I would probably stay home with Emma, so we didn’t buy a house that would require two incomes to pay for. We were involved in our church and especially involved in Emma’s youth group. We weren’t youth leaders or anything like that, but we were always available to help with activities or to drive the kids on youth group outings. Since the youth group was Emma’s main social activity and was very important to her; it was important to us.

Phill and I weren’t bad parents, just boring. We were both introverted and were always happy to have quiet evenings at home rather than nights out. When we went out, it was usually for Emma. Emma got to go to plenty of movies, plays, the Fox Theater in Atlanta, trips to the beach, etc. She was not neglected, but overall, Phill and I were homebodies.

A couple of things we did have was a lot of love and laughter. Phill couldn’t tell a joke to save his life. He would mess up every punchline, but he was just funny. He could make the simplest things funny, and we both liked puns. It seems like we rarely had a day without a lot of laughter in it. Emma, with her high IQ, seemed to have a pretty good sense of humor too, although, being a teen, she could be oversensitive to some of our silly jokes, sometimes taking things too personally. I remember seeing an IKEA (Phill loved IKEA.) commercial where a teenager was screaming at his parents, “You ruined my life!” and thought it was hilarious. Any parent with a sometimes sulky teen would understand that commercial. Emma often hovered around me at church when I was talking to other adults. I was never quite sure if it was more to know what her mother talking about, making sure I wasn’t talking about her, or if it was just because she liked to think of herself as fitting in more with the adults. She went to her youth group meetings, and was very involved in that, but the rest of the time, she was frequently at my side, especially during coffee hour in the parish hall when I’d have a chance to visit and catch up with folks. One day, I was talking to a friend, and I don’t know how we got to talking about kids or commercials or whatever, but I asked her if she’d seen the IKEA commercial, and she hadn’t so I told her about it. She thought it sounded funny and we laughed about it, and she said she wanted to see it. When we got in the car to leave church, Emma was furious at me for talking about that commercial. I guess Emma thought I was comparing it to her, but I wasn’t even talking about Emma. I tried to explain to her that it had nothing to do with Emma, and that this woman and I were just talking, but Emma decided I was making fun of her by mentioning this commercial to someone else. I thought she was being silly, but I am just the mom, so what do I know?

Ok, I’ve gotten a little off topic, and I will be writing a lot more about Emma’s background, but for now…..¬¬back to Emma and her NEW family. Why did Emma need to create a new family? She had parents, just not the parents she wanted. We were not cool or wealthy. There was some jealousy because I was more popular at Emma’s arts program than Emma was. Her friends enjoyed my classes, but to Emma I was an embarrassment. I was (horrors) her mom!

I find it interesting that Emma said that Bud’s family broke up with her. She didn’t say that Bud broke up with her. She accused me of stalking Bud’s family and said “THEY” broke up with her. I wonder if our esteemed therapists and psychologists, Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.), Suzie McGarvey (formerly with Lanier Counseling, Buford, Ga. and now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Dr. Richard Born (Applied Psychological Health) and the many therapists at the Social Empowerment Center, Lawrenceville, Ga. who all saw and treated Emma could shed some light on Emma’s thought process here. Was Emma’s family not good enough for her. I know we live in a throw-away society, and I’ve met many parents who’ve been through similar situations. Is it just part of the gimme generation? I don’t know that I will ever know the answers.

Tired tonight after a long day, so forgive me if this isn’t my best writing. I will work on it and edit it later. I just needed to get it written down.

Coming up next, I want to introduce you to “Lacey,” Emma’s pen-pal who was the catalyst to Emma’s abuse claim.

Emma Gets a Dog!

Emma’s Gets a Dog
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Emma with foster dog, Sam, who was adopted by Sandra Brooks McCravy and Greg McCravy, Lawrenceville, Ga.

Emma with foster dog, Sam, who was adopted by Sandra Brooks McCravy and Greg McCravy, Lawrenceville, Ga.

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

In 2012, after Emma moved to Ohio, Phill was enjoying the single life. He worked, going out of town during the week and bought a camper so he could attend RC airplane events such as SEFF, Joe Nall, etc. when he wasn’t working. He had reconnected with an old girlfriend from college as well.  He could come and go as he pleased without the responsibility of a family.  Since he had me removed from our home, he had the house and all our possessions.  He didn’t have to worry about moving, finding a job, finding a place to live, not having furniture, bedding, clothes, pots and pans, etc.  Life was good.

Phill had one of our two dogs, and I had the other, only because I could not have two dogs where I was living. With Emma gone, Phill made our 12 year old house dog a yard dog and left him outside 24 hours a day while he was out of town.  At this time, I didn’t know Emma had moved to Ohio, so I didn’t know how our poor dog was living.  Some neighbors later told me that they would go up to see him when Phill was gone. They were very concerned about this poor dog being left alone so much and suddenly being left outside in the extreme weather when he wasn’t used to it.

Phill decided the dog was too much bother, so he contacted me and told me I needed to come up with someplace for the dog to go. With the help of a couple of friends, Spike lived at a kennel until I was able to keep him, and I went to the kennel to walk him every day that I could. It wasn’t a great life, but he was fed and warm and got more attention from the kennel employees than he got at home. Also, if you know Emma’s history, this was the dog she physically abused and was cruel to, so as much as I didn’t want him living in a kennel, it was a safer place for him to be.

When I was removed from my home, we also had a foster dog, and at the time, Phill told the director of the rescue that he and Emma might adopt the dog, but he would not have been allowed to adopt the dog. That dog also went to a kennel until I took it with me to my sister’s in CT., and he was adopted up north. He got a wonderful home, and I am thankful I still her from his mom, so I get to keep up with him. Oddly though, before saying he wanted to adopt the dog, Phill claimed our neighbor (I’m assuming it was Judy Hall.) complained that the little dog (a Rat Terrier/mix) jumped up and bit her on the “ass” when she came over to let him out. The director of the rescue thought this sounded like an odd statement, and when she and I discussed it, both of us knowing how timid this dog was, it just didn’t sound like something he would do. This dog had been mauled by a large dog and nearly killed. He very, very shy, and it had taken months for him to come out of his shell even a little bit. He never showed any signs of aggression towards people or other animals. At the time, we thought Phill wanted to get rid of the dog, so he made up the “bite” story, and then later on he said he wanted to adopt him? Very strange.

Emma and foster dog, Willie, who was happy to sit with her while she worked on her homeschooling.

Emma and foster dog, Willie, who was happy to sit with her while she worked on her homeschooling.

In Sept. of 2013, after discovering Emma’s lying about his family, Emma’s boyfriend, “Bud” broke up the relationship, and sent Emma packing. She headed home to daddy with her tail between her legs. (Sorry, couldn’t resist since this IS a dog story.)

How I found out about Emma’s little dog is more a story about Phill, but it is interesting, so I will share it here.

For over 10 years, I have volunteered with a dog/cat rescue, fostering dogs in my home (up until the divorce) and going to a local PetsMart on Saturdays to help with adoptions, doing home visits, running errands, helping with fundraisers, etc. For most of that time, Emma also volunteered and went with me to PetsMart on Saturdays. Every Saturday, I’d leave the house at the same time to go to PetsMart.

On Sat., June 28 2014, two days before what would have been our 30th wedding anniversary, Phill showed up at PetsMart. I happened to be working that day, so I missed it, but one of our volunteers, M., who knew Phill quite well, was the one to tell me about it. Since Phill often brought Emma and I lunch when we were volunteering, and sat and ate with us, he saw M. almost as much as we did, and he considered her a friend just as much as I did.  He did computer work for M., and she’d been to our home for holiday dinners and such.

M. was setting up for adoptions with another volunteer and she looked up to see Phill standing before her, nervous and sweating profusely. She said he asked if I was around, and she told him I was working. Phill said something about us not getting along well, and M. turned and walked away. M. was there the day Phill showed up with Emma in the car and tried to get me to come out to the car to talk to him so that I would violate the Temporary Protective Order he had taken out on me. She had no respect for Phill and wanted nothing to do with him. Our other volunteer had known Phill and Emma as well, and was also shocked to see Phill show up at PetsMart. Later, M. saw him walking through the store with a baby gate.

Phill knew exactly when I would be at PetsMart. As M. and I talked that night, we wondered why in the world Phill showed up at PetsMart when the odds were that I would be there. Phill could have gone to numerous other PetsMarts such as the one in Winder, Flowery Branch, or the Pet Co. about ¼ mile down the road. He could have gone to a WalMart in Winder, Hamilton Mill, Buford, or any other Walmart between his work at UPS in Doraville and home in Hoschton, as Walmat sells baby gates too. Why did he decide to come to that PetsMart on the day when I would be there. He could have gone early in the morning, knowing what time we set up, so he wouldn’t have had the chance to run into me, so why did he come then? When I was working on the 1st draft of writing this post, I sent it to Phill, and he e-mailed me that he had heard that the director of the rescue had quit, so he didn’t think we would be there. What is so funny about this statement is that all he had to do was to go on the website and he would have known that the director AND the rescue were still going strong, so I’m calling B.S! Nice try, Phill.

M. did not realize that it was two days before what would have been our 30th anniversary, and when I told her she felt that that must have been the reason, that Phill wanted to drive that knife a little deeper into my heart by showing up right before our anniversary. Since then, I’ve talked to a few other armchair psychologists, as well as a couple of professionals, and the consensus seems to be that Phill wanted to see me with his own eyes for some reason. Being a man, it probably had nothing to do with our anniversary. Phill probabaly didn’t even realize that it was our anniversary. True. He got my birthday wrong on the year I turned 30, and at that point we’d been married for 6 years! We both had forgotten our anniversaries before, but I didn’t think much of that because with his schedule, unless it was a big year, we didn’t do much for our anniversaries anyway. For our 23rd we’d taken a trip to Tybee for a few days, but that was only because Emma happened to be at camp that same week. (And boy was she mad when she found out we went to Tybee Island without her!) Other than a trip to Tybee one year, and splurging on a bottle of Dom Perrion for our 20th, we didn’t do much for our anniversaries. We had talked about a trip for our 30th, and I was looking forward to doing something special for it, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

Later, someone sent me a picture (Thank you, whoever you are.) of Emma’s little dog, and it is quite cute. I’m surprised she didn’t get something more aggressive though, since she claims to be in danger when her dad is out of town for work and she is home alone. A German shepherd or a Pit Bull might have been more appropriate.

Fortunately for Emma’s little dog, it’s got a great yard to run around in. When we bought the house, I insisted on fencing the back yard. We had two acres and about an acre of it is fenced. It was great when Emma was growing up because it was a woodsy yard, and it didn’t worry me if Emma got out of sight. Phill and I figured that would be our last home, and I knew I would always have dogs, so we put up a 5 ft. chain link fence. It was really wonderful to have. (Emma’s old dog just has a little area about 10 x 15 ft fenced, but hey, we make do with what we have.) Part of the yard was open, and when I took some agility classes with one of our dogs, Phill got into building me some equipment. I’m not sure why, as I did not plan to compete in agility, as it can get quite expensive, it was just something fun to try. He was so enthused about it, I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t something I really wanted. Maybe it’s that guy thing about men and power tools. Well, as it turned out, even after I stopped going to agility, I loved having the equipment because our dogs, as well as our foster dogs enjoyed doing the runs and jumps. Unfortunately, Phill didn’t finish the wood properly, and it all fell apart after a few years.

The a-frame Phill built for the dogs in the backyard of our Deer Creek home in Hoschton.  Phill Roey.  Emma Roey

The a-frame Phill built for the dogs in the backyard of our Deer Creek home in Hoschton. Phill Roey. Emma Roey

PEagility1

I would love to know what the professionals think about Phill coming to PetsMart when he knew I would more than likely be there, to buy a babygate? I wonder what Dr. Richard Brown (Applied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.) , Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment and Counseling, Duluth, Ga.) , and Suzie McGarvey North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Suwanee, Ga., Lanier Counseling, Buford, Ga.) all think? But then, to be honest, I’d rather have the opinion of someone whom I consider to be a little more professional.

Happy Thanksgiving Emma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

Happy Thanksgiving Emma. Whether you are at home with Daddy or spending it with Daddy’s RC group, I hope the cutest little turkey I know has a wonderful day! You also have a BIG birthday coming up!

P.S. Have fun with the Black Friday shopping!! I was wondering if Kohl’s is still your favorite. You know me, i will be far away from the crowds! My one and only Black Friday shopping was with you, just before……………

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma Katherine Roey