Meeting the ex- with his new, ummm, Girlfriend?

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

 

Those of you that know me or have be following the blog, know this blog is mainly about Emma, but it’s also about me, as the estranged parent, navigating the waters through this whole ordeal of losing my child and my marriage.  I can be a little sarcastic, or maybe tongue-in-cheek, which some find endearing, and others may find annoying.  It is what it is and that’s just me.  Enjoy!

 

Ft. Yargo

I guess there’s always going to be that time you see your ex-spouse for the first time since your divorce. For me, running into Phill was definitely a surprise. Was it some sort of cosmic joke, or did God put Phill in my path again for a reason? Or maybe put me in Phill’s path for a reason? I have yet to figure that one out!
I’d done my usual thing when I have a Saturday off from work and went to help with Pet adoptions. Because I’d had a long week at work and wasn’t home much, I took my little dog to adoptions as well as the three puppies I was transporting. Afterwards, I returned the puppies to their temporary home, and it was such a beautiful day, I wasn’t ready to go home. I almost took a walk where I dropped the puppies off, a familiar route to me, but I decided to go to Ft. Yargo instead. Those of you that know me know that I’m not going to go anywhere secluded, but it was such a nice day that thought there would enough people around that I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.
It was late afternoon. The sun was starting to go down, it was cooling off, and I didn’t have my jacket, so I wasn’t going to stay too long. I walked along the lake, and through the woods, and I picked out a spot where I would turn around. When I got to that spot, there was a couple coming towards me, and I heard my husband’s voice going on, talking about campers or RVs and he was saying something about how he wasn’t sure if he wanted a 5th wheel or something else………………. (As you can see, the divorce sure hasn’t financially hurt Phill any. He already bought one camper, and now he’s talking about another.)
You can imagine, I was shocked to see Phill and the woman he was walking with. I don’t know what I would have said if I’d had time to prepare, hopefully something humourus, witty or even a little caustic, but like I said, I was taken by surprise.
Phill and the woman walked even closer and he glanced at me and said hello. He looked down at my little dog and asked, “Friendly Chihuaha or unfriendly Chihuahua?”
To which I replied, “You don’t recognize your own dog?”
I wish I could have taken a picture of Phill’s face when he realized it was ME, the evil ex-wife! And I thought I was in shock! Phill was even worse! Of course afterwards, I wished I hadn’t said anything and just waited to see how long it took him to recognize me.
Phill reached down to pet his former dog, who paid no attention to him and didn’t even recognize him as being someone he knew.
I then asked “So, is this your girlfriend?”
Phill said, “Yes, this is Kim.” (Kim Chassion) and then he turned to Kim and said, “My ex-.”  (Apparently, I don’t have a name.)
Kim said hi and immediately corrected Phill, looking at me and saying, “We’re friends.”
I reminded Phill that the alimony was late again, and he claimed to have sent it. (I guess technically it’s alimony, but the amount Phill has to pay me came out to about ½ the depressed value of our home in the down economy. Not a bad deal to get rid of your wife and keep the house and all the furnishings!)

I didn’t really have anything to say. Phill continues to be in denial about all the things his daughter did, so I wasn’t going to get into a conversation with him. I just saw him as kind of pathetic. I didn’t even ask about Emma because Phill isn’t going to tell me anything, although I guess I should have asked about her health. Has she recovered from all the DDT I poisoned her with? Has she quit throwing up? What about the catatonia? What kind of mother am I that I didn’t show concern for all Emma’s made-up, over-dramatized health problems?
Phill said, “Well……….” and turned around and started walking away. Kim Chassion followed him. Since I was headed the same way, I let them get ahead of me before I started walking, although I stopped to take a picture of the happy couple.
The police didn’t show up at my house with a warrant or anything, so I guess I did good. After all, if I have a history of abusing my teenage daughter and then “blocking it out,” I can only imagine what I could have done to the “other woman” and then “blocked it out”! Maybe the reason Kim claimed to be “friends” with Phill and not his “girlfriend” was because she was in fear for her life! Whew! So glad Kim Chassion wasn’t harmed in our introduction.
And what about chivalry? Is it truly dead? Why didn’t Phill jump in front of the lovely Kim Chassion to protect her from the violent ex-with-no-name? After all, I was dangerous enough that he wanted to get a restraining order against his own wife? How could he leave Kim unprotected?
I do have to wonder what Kim Chassion thought of me. Did I appear as evil as Phill described? What does Kim think of Phill now that she’s met me and about all the things he did, having me thrown out of my home, taking my home, my daughter, my belongings? Perhaps Kim was in fear for her life, so that is why she so quickly downgraded her status from “girlfriend” to “friend.”
Friends and I joked about the things I could have said, like, “So, is this your NEW soulmate?” or “Is this the woman you were dating while we were married?”
That evening, a friend pointed out that I was wearing a sweatshirt with the big logo on the front of the rescue group where I volunteer. Phill had seen Emma and me wear these shirts every Saturday for about 7 or 8 years, so not only did he not notice his wife, he didn’t notice the shirt she was wearing was one he should have recognized, having seen the big logo so many times before. Phill must be pretty oblivious not to recognize his wife of 26 years or his dog.
Seriously though, Ft. Yargo was a place of many happy memories for our family. We took hikes there, cooked out, went canoeing, took the church youth group there……
And Kim Chassion, good luck and Welcome to the family! I guess we will be wives-in-law. You can read the blog for our history, and if you have any questions, I’ll be happy to answer them. PhillandKim

Emma and her Dad try to get a Restraining Order , Part 2

 

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

20130430_77

Emma and foster dog, Benny, just before Emma told Suzie McGarvey she wanted to live in a group home.  If Emma was so abused, don’t you wonder why she wanted to go with me to take Benny to agility lessons when she didn’t have to come?  Riding in the car with her mother must have been so traumatic?  Poor Benny began having behavior issues after Phill had me removed from our home.  With Phill being on the road, Emma was the main one to take care of Benny when he was gone.  Fortunately for Benny, we got him out of the home, and  he has a wonderful forever home.

Part 2

The two sheriff’s deputies showed up and politely told me I needed to pack a bag and leave my home. To say I was shocked is an understatement. Phill wanted me out of my home, and he wanted to keep the house and everything in it. He had the element of surprise on his side, and if I had it to do over again, I would have done things differently. I would have taken the main computer for one thing (We had 3 or 4.), and Emma’s baby pictures. I took probably 99% of the photos we had of Emma, and Phill never let me have any of them. All the photos I have are the few that were in my wallet, and the ones I had on the computer. (Phill eventually gave me a hard drive of what I’d had on the computer, but none of them are the precious baby photos.)
I packed a suitcase and left. I had to give the police all my keys except the keys to my car. I also had to give them the keys to Phill’s minivan. This wasn’t enough for Phill though. I guess he thought I might have another set of keys somewhere, so he had a locksmith come and change the locks. At this point, I had no idea that I was headed towards divorce. I was about to see the very ugly side of Phill. We’d always worked on problems together, so even Emma’s problems were the worst we ever faced, I still believed in my husband, and believed we would work things out together. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and I was so wrong about my husband. He’d been going behind my back and planning on a divorce, and I had no idea. I was still dealing with the fact that Emma had accused me of abuse, recanted, then claimed again she was abused (and would later claim I poisoned her with DDT). I suspected that Emma’s friend wasn’t raped and the molestation hadn’t happened, but I hadn’t looked into it yet. It’s too bad I didn’t. Phill might have caught on sooner, and perhaps we could have gotten Emma some help to deal with her real issues.
While I was packing, I called a friend, crying, and explained what was going on. She was shocked, as Phill and I had recently been to her home, right after Emma told Suzie McGarvey that she wanted to live in a group home, and Phill told her and her husband that we were going to get things straightened out with Emma. My friend couldn’t believe what Phill had done, and she offered me a place to stay.
I’ve posted the Temporary Protective Order in a previous blog, so you can see what it said. I couldn’t get near Emma and could not contact Emma. When the deputies were at the house, they advised me to get an attorney. My friend called an attorney who does free work for the rescue group, and he recommended someone that he’d gone to school with. Since I didn’t know anything about attorneys or how to hire one, I met with this attorney, and he seemed ok to me, so I used him. Thus began the huge black hole of attorney’s fees. I would have never imagined spending what we did on attorneys, but since my husband was no longer my best friend and advisor, I had to trust the attorney and take his, very expensive, advice. He was looking out for my interests, whereas the man who’d made a vow to me was not.
My attorney’s main concern was not to get a restraining order. Again, hindsight, I wish I’d let Emma try to get the restraining order. Later on, when I began investigating some of Emma’s stories, including the rape and suicide attempt that didn’t happen to her friend, my attorney told me that had Emma gotten a restraining order, it would have never held up with all the lies we’d found out about. He said it would be very expensive to clean up, but I would have had it removed in light of Emma’s history.
My attorney told me that if I had a restraining order against me, I would have to put it on job applications and I would not be able to work with children or own a gun. I didn’t care about owning a gun, but I already had a part time job with children, and I was going to need to get a full time job since Phill wanted a divorce.
In order to not have Phill and Emma try to take out a restraining order, I had to agree to the separation agreement that Phill’s attorney, Seth Eisenberg drew up, and in that agreement, I had to agree to stay at least 75 yards away from Emma. Our court date was coming up, and the separation agreement had been presented to my attorney. We would go to court and the two attorneys would let the judge know we’d come to a separation agreement, and that was pretty much it until the divorce was finalized.
In all honesty, I was probably a mess for about two years. My own child made false accusations against me claiming physical abuse and attempted murder. My husband and best friend of almost 27 years wanted a divorce, and I’d been out of the “real” work force for 17 years. I’d worked in a time of pen and paper, and now everything in my field was on computer. In addition to that, I would lose my health insurance because of the divorce, so I had to find a job with insurance. I am blessed to have some very close friends and my two sisters who pulled me through the most difficult time in my life.

Ok, so moving ahead as to how Phill and Emma tried to get me to violate the Temporary Protective Order, most you know I have volunteered with a dog and cat rescue for many years. Emma was very involved with the group, and three of our close friends, she called her “aunts.” Later on I would find out about lies Emma told to and about her “aunts.” Emma seemed to lie about everyone she knew.
When I left my home, I took one of our dogs with me. One of my sisters wanted me to come up north, to her home, and my thought was that the little dog could go on the plane with me. We had a foster dog, an adorable little Rat Terrier/mi named Benny. I left him at the house. If you don’t know about fostering, you keep a dog in your home, get it housebroken and teach it a few manners, and take it to adoptions on Saturdays at PetsMart.

Phill went back and forth, at one point telling the director of the rescue that he and Emma might adopt Benny, and then another asking about bringing Benny to adoptions because he was ready to get him adopted because he’d bit a neighbor “on the ass.” Benny was a very timid little dog who’d been attacked and nearly killed by a large dog. He lived at the vet for months before I took him home to foster. He was very submissive and never showed any signs of aggression. We were shocked when Phill claimed Benny bit someone, and wondered if Phill made this up because he wanted to get rid of the dog. As for adopting Benny, the director said no way. Phill was on the road too much, and I’d always been the one to care for the dogs. There was no way she would let Phill and Emma adopt a dog from the rescue.

Before our court date, our director had told Phill to bring Benny to adoptions. She decided it was best not to deal with Phill anymore, and would put the dog in a kennel rather than have Phill and Emma foster him. If he had suddenly started biting, after being in our home for about 7 or 8 months without ever and incident, there was obviously an issue in the home and poor Benny was not happy.

Phill was to park a good distance away from PetsMart, down by Linens and Things, and call ML, one of our volunteers, and she would go get the dog. Phill called when he got there, and ML went out to get the dog. ML was surprised to see Emma in the minivan, and just wanted to get the dog. Phill told ML to send me out to talk to them, and she said no. He then told her he didn’t want them to hate him, and she told him she did not want to be in the middle of this . She just wanted to get the dog. Phill again insisted on talking to me and told her to send me over to talk to him.

I was helping get things set up for adoptions, when ML and another friend came up. My sister was with me, and they told us to go in the store and stay there until they came and got us. They were upset that Phill keep asking me to come talk to him and Emma, and they were afraid he was trying to get me to violate the TPO. They didn’t have to worry, as I had no intention of going near Phill and Emma. Here I’m supposed to be this violent mommy, and Emma’s very life was in danger when she was around me, so why on earth would Phill bring her to where I was? Wouldn’t that be considered child endangerment? Omgoodness! Or was Phill just hoping I was stupid enough to fall for his (or Emma’s) plan because I loved my family. Would I rush out there to see them and talk to them, and then they could claim I violated the TPO? After all, it would have been two witnesses against one!

Phill gave up and left, and my sister called her husband, a retired police officer. My brother-in-law felt it would be a good idea to file a police report in case something came up and I could show what Phill had done. My friend, ML, wrote up her statement for me as well. I called the Gwinnett County Police and then filed the report.
Sorry , my writing is kind of rushed. I have a pretty busy life, and don’t get to spend the time I would like to on the blog, but I want Emma’s story out there, so I will continue to write. I will have to go back and edit later!
Thank you to my readers for your support!

Happy Birthday, Emma!

Emma, I hope you had a wonderful 22nd birthday! Your first birthday as a married lady! Emma turned 22 on Dec. 19th.

And to my readers, I’m sorry to be so slow in finishing up my story about how Phill and Emma tried to get me to violate the Temporary Protective order. It’s coming! Like a lot of us, Nov. and Dec. are busy, busy! I am ready for things to slow down!

The other day, I had a facebook message that said I posted this picture 5 years ago:
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I took this Photo when I was doing pet photos with Santa for the dog/cat rescue group we volunteered with. Emma always liked to assist me, helping people and pets get situated or making noises to get the pet to look at the camera, things like that. It was a challenging job as the pets weren’t always cooperative, but we had a lot of fun doing it and talking to people about their pets.

I loved this picture. Emma had that beautiful smile after all the torturing we did to her with braces. This picture was just a couple of short weeks before Emma had Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment and Counseling, 965 Oakland Rd, Bldg 3, Suites D&E,Lawrenceville, Ga 30044 Tel: 770-495-9775 Fax: 770-495-9745 GA.) call the police to say Emma was being physically abused by her mother. We had such a great time on this day. I certainly didn’t see any signs of abuse in the way Emma was acting. You’d think if her mother was abusing her, she wouldn’t want to go hang out with her mother at adoptions every Saturday. Funny.

As for Dr. Genie, Manna Treatment moved their practice from Duluth to Lawrenceville, opened and closed another location in Marietta, and hopefully is sticking to her forte of eating disorders. I’ve often wondered what therapists do when they mess up, especially a good Christian counselor like Dr. Genie. Apparently nothing. They certainly don’t want to admit they were taken in and fooled by a lying 16 year old. Doesn’t make them look very professional, does it?

Anyway, Emma, let me wish you a Merry Christmas, as I’m probably not going to have much time this week. I wanted to text you on your birthday and wish you a happy birthday, but I know you’d threaten me with a restraining order, so I certainly won’t do that and I’ll just keep writing here.

Thank you to my readers for you love and support.

Emma and her Dad try to get a Restraining Order

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.</em

Emma frequently came in and laid on our bed to hand out and chat with me before I became that evil mommy! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma frequently came in and laid on our bed to hand out and chat with me before I became that evil mommy! Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

You can read in my earlier posts (July 12, 2014 through August 17, 2014) about the Temporary Protective Order that Phill took out on me. I’m sure this was under the advice of his attorney, Seth Eisenberg (Bovis, Kyle, and Burch LLC).

Phill had been getting legal advice about Emma’s so-called molestation from one of his RC buddies, Mike. I believe it was Mike Howell, but there were a lot of Mikes, so I’m not really sure. It could have been Mike Downey. Hmm, I will look into it and see if I can clarify which Mike, but Mike was a former attorney himself. I’m just assuming Phill got his attorney, Seth Eisenberg, from some kind of recommendation from one of the Mikes.

My own attorney later told me that Seith Eisenberg told him, when they spoke privately, that Phill brought Emma with him to almost every appointment. He also said Emma asked every time she came about getting a restraining order against her mom. Seth told my attorney that he thought Emma was crazy and he would handle Phill’s divorce, but he wanted nothing to do with “that kid.”

It’s too bad attorney’s don’t get involved personally and maybe Seth could have told Phill that he thought there was something wrong with Emma and that maybe he needed to look into things a little further before he threw away his wife, but hey, I understand divorce attorneys aren’t counselors. They are there to make a buck off of someone else’s troubles. I did learn from MY personal experience that attorneys don’t think much of therapists and therapists don’t think much of attorneys, and neither of them have much nice to say about DFACS. Some of that was amusing anyway………..

In getting the TPO, two sheriff’s deputies showed up at my door (while Phill conveniently was out) and allowed me to pack a suitcase and leave my home. The sheriff’s deputies warned me about coming anywhere near my home or Phill or Emma, and not being stupid, I had no intention of doing such. Actually, the TPO was regarding Emma, but I wasn’t going to take any chances and was not going to get near Phill either. I was so shocked, stunned, distraught, and overwhelmed by the whole thing. Here I was, my husband of almost 27 years and my best friend had decided I was a child abuser and threw me out of my home. I loved Phill with all my heart and thought we could get through any difficulty together because we were a team. I just didn’t know I’d been fired, kicked off the team, or traded, or however you want to look at it. Phill sure had the element of surprise on his side. I knew Emma was lying, but I never expected my husband fall apart like he did and let her take over. I still thought we were a team and somehow, we would get through this. Now, I understand more about teens with control issues and how this was all partly a big power struggle, and how Emma won, but then again, she got a lot of help from her dad.

To be continued……….

FR

Emma Prays her Parents don’t Divorce

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma Katherine Roey

I had to laugh today. I was about to sit down and write about the Temporary Protective Order, and how Phill tried to get me to violate it, so that he could probably try for a Restraining Order that Emma had been so desperately wanting. If you remember, Phill had two sheriff’s deputies show up to surprise and remove me from my home with only a suitcase (BTW, he still has all my things, but we’ll get to that later.), so I was looking for the e-mail a friend wrote about how Phill tried to get me to violate the terms of the protective order, when I came across Emma’s e-mail to an on-line friend, Amber Lynn Smith, now Amber Lynn Hicks, a 3rd grade teacher. I think Emma met Amber through an on-line class, and since Amber was attending Piedmont College, Emma was interested in Piedmont College in Demerost, Ga. At the time of this e-mail, Emma had not met Amber in person.

Here is the e-mail (paraphrased) that Emma sent to Amber Lynn Hicks:

Emma tells Amber she doesn’t have time to type it all out right now because of big family problems. She is praying really hard that her parents don’t divorce, but there’s a lot more than that. Her mom has serious mental issures which led to some REALLY BAD physical abuse towards Emma and DFACS was involved….yeah it stinks.

Ok, Emma goes on, she had Ms. Schwartz (English teacher) last semester and she didn’t like Emma at first, but Emma thinks she proved herself.

Mr. Freeman (Sanford L. Freeman, history teacher at Jefferson High School, Jefferson, Ga.) is definitely a kook. Emma says she thinks he enjoys his image. He gets so gleeful when he gets someone into mandatory tutoring. Emma says she is not in that category, thank God! Mr. Freeman’s quizzes are hard, but she gets good essay grades, so it evens out.

Emma says she hasn’t had time to visit Piedmont college yet, hopefully over Spring Break, if things go ok, but if her parents divorce, she will have to live at home because she can’t leave her dad alone. She could commute though, with the right financial aid……

Emma asks Amber Lynn Hicks to do her a favor and when she responds, not to reply, but to start a new message so her mom can’t see what she said. She doesn’t want to change her password because then her mom will know something is up……..yeah, life is complicated.

I remember finding this e-mail and being very upset. Emma was spreading her lies to someone she’d never even met, but now I understand a little more about liars and how they operate, not much mind you because it’s is still very hard for me to understand. My mind just doesn’t work that way, and I don’t have that Ph.d. like some of Emma’s therapists.

When I came across this e-mail today, after not seeing it for at least a year, and being a much stronger person than when I originally found it, I had to laugh at some of the things Emma said, like how she was praying “really hard” that her parent’s didn’t divorce. A divorce was exactly what Emma wanted. There cannot be two queens, and Emma wanted to be the queen of the castle. There was no way she could do that if her mother was still around. Phill was on the road a lot with his job with UPS. Emma’s mom was the evil control freak that was frequently in her way!

Emma said she wouldn’t be able to go away to Piedmont College and leave her dad alone, but that was exactly what she did until she was able to con Tyler Buchhein’s family (her boyfriend she met online but managed to turn into a “real” relationship) into taking her in and letting her move in with them in Ohio.

As for her mom’s serious mental issues, remember, Emma and Dr. Genie Burnett had diagnosed me with “Paranoid Borderline Personality Disorder” or some such without my even knowing it! Dr. Elizabeth Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.) went through a checklist with Emma, a 17 year old with a long history of lying, asking her questions about me, and diagnosed me! How much more professional can a psychologist be? Dr. Genie must be one really talented psychologist because she diagnosed me through the eyes of my daughter and without actually doing any kind of psychological evaluation on me! AND she is a Christian counselor! The fact that she was a Christian was so important to both Emma and her “mommy” Sandra Brooks McCravy (Sandy McCravy).

I hadn’t seen this e-mail in quite a while, and it is funny how your perspective changes. I remember how hurt I was when I first saw it, and now it’s just laughable (in a sad sort of way). There are so many people who know about Emma’s lies that I don’t really hide that fact that I’m a “child abuse” anymore. I even joked about changing the name of this site to “Diary of a Child Abuser.”

As many of you know, I have volunteered with a dog/cat rescue for over 11 years now. A couple of years ago, we were at adoptions, when a small dog wanted to jump in my lap and hit his head on a table that was in the way. I cooed and comforted him, and a friend joked and called me a “puppy abuser” and then immediately apologized, knowing what I’d been through with Emma, and afraid she’d brought up a sore subject. She felt horrible, but I laughed and told her that I if she thought that would upset me after all I’d been through, she needed to realize I had a much thicker skin now, thanks to Emma. Calling me a “puppy abuser” did not bother me in the least, and I knew it was a joke. Believe it or not, I still have a pretty good sense of humor.

Another thing I wanted to mention was Emma’s English teacher, Mrs. Schwartz. I will get to her story later. Emma told quite a few tales about Mrs. Schwartz because she did not like her English class. Fortunately, I also have those documented. Because of all Emma’s complaints, Emma’s school counselor, Heather Thompson (Jefferson High School) arranged for a meeting between Phill, Emma, and I with Mrs. Schwartz. Poor Mrs. Schwartz was blindsided by this meeting and Emma’s accusations.

Ok, I got a little off topic. I will work on the story of Phill and Emma trying to get me to violate the protective order next. Either they wanted to get me thrown in jail, or to get a restraining order against me. Only Phill and Emma can answer that one, but I will tell you what happened. Fortunately, I didn’t fall for it, and I had some good friends looking out for me.

As a mother, I can tell you this is an odd place to be.  I love Emma with every ounce of my being and would give my last breath to protect her.  Like any mother, she was my life, and I love her with all my heart, but I HATE what she’s done, not just to me, but to many others.

Just Some Thoughts–Lying and Other Things***** (Updated 11/1/15)

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

One of my favorite photos of Emma on a ride home from N. Ga.  She woke up like a sleepy little drunk.

One of my favorite photos of Emma on a ride home from N. Ga. She woke up like a sleepy little drunk.

I love the above picture of Emma. Every mother remembers their little ones waking up like a sleepy little drunk. We’d been up to visit a friend in N. Georgia, and Emma crashed in the car on the way home after a busy day. She was so cute when she woke up. You can see she’d had some chocolate at our friend’s house, as some of it was still on her face.

I appreciate your thoughts and e-mails. I have to say to the person who sent me the youtube idea, it’s definitely something that hadn’t occurred to me. I had to laugh when I got the e-mail, but you had some good points and I will give it some thought. I have just been very busy this past month, and haven’t had time to sit down and write, but thank you for your concern. I am by no means finished.

And a note to Emma: Yes, you and your dad were my life, but believe it or not, I’ve managed to go on with my life without you. I still love and miss you, and will continue to think of you and pray for you everyday. Sometimes, I do something fun, and wish you were here to share the experience or I could call you and tell you about it. Sometimes I read a book and think you would like it, or a movie, etc., etc., etc. Sometimes I think, “Wow, Emma would probably like me now.” if you can ever forgive me for the sin of just being your mother. Sorry I wasn’t the one you wanted.

As for Mr. and Mrs. Emma, I will get to that later. As you know, marriage records are public, but I am still looking into some things, so not ready to write about that just yet. I have a lot of Emma’s back story to get to.

Something that I’ve been wondering about lately is lying and children. Are there some signs that Phill and I missed when Emma was little? Every child lies, so I never thought any of Emma’s stories, even the doozies were abnormal.

One story that’s been on my mind is a story about a girl named Coral whom Emma knew from church. The girls were about 3 years apart and I believe when met Coral and her family when she was in kindergarten and Emma must have been in 3rd grade or so. Later on, when Coral was in middle school, Emma liked Coral, and called her her “little sister,” but it did not start out that way. Coral liked Emma right away and wanted to sit with us at church, follow Emma around, etc. Emma did not like Coral, and since they weren’t in the same Sunday school class or the same activities, she didn’t have to see her much, and since she wasn’t exactly nice to Coral, Coral made other friends and was just fine.

Emma was in the Children’s Choir at church, and once Coral hit 2nd grade, she joined the choir, too. Emma complained frequently about Coral, and I did the usual, “Just be nice……” kind of mom-speak. One day, after choir, Emma told story after story about Coral. I can’t even remember most of them now, but I wonder what Emma was trying to do, keep trying out stories until I fell for one? Kind of like politicians who keep spreading stories about their opponents/enemies until people hear it so much, they just go along with it. Emma’s stories about Coral were so silly and unbelievable, I immediately told her that what she said sounded crazy and I was sure it wasn’t true, and I didn’t give it much thought afterwards. The one story I do remember was that Emma was all indignant and claimed that Mr. Richard, the choir director, paid Coral $20 for behaving during choir, and that wasn’t fair! I may be the dumb mom, but I was pretty sure this wasn’t true. I argued with Emma, and she kept telling me that it was true. I said there was no way Mr. Richard would pay someone to behave during choir. I was sure if there was that much of a problem, he would talk to the parents and/or ask the child to leave the choir. The only thing I could think of, I suggested to Emma, “Maybe he bought some girl scout cookies or something and owed Coral some money for that.” and then I let the argument drop and didn’t discuss it anymore. Emma kept going on about it on the ride home, and I just told her I didn’t believe that. It was such a silly story, I certainly wasn’t going to ask Mr. Richard or Coral’s mother about it, but maybe I should have and perhaps that would have stopped Emma in her tracks. I just let it go.

Emma did something similar involving her friend Rob. Phill had taken Emma to her youth group who was meeting at the church parking lot. He got out of the call for a few minutes, and Emma went off from the group and called me, saying that her dad was acting ridiculous, doing all this silly stuff, trying to fist bump Rob, making a fool out of himself trying to be part of the group and embarrassing her. Huh? This did not sound like Phill at all, and when he got home, I asked him about it? He pretty much said, “What are you talking about? I said ‘hi’ to Rob and shook hands with him and that’s all!” Why did Emma have the need to make up a story about her dad trying to fit in with her friends.

Frequently, when Emma had a friend over, she would tell them, “I was an evil little kid…” and then tell some story about something she thought about as a child. I always thought this was silly, like Emma was trying to make her life sound much more dramatic than it was, but I figured she’s a kid, and if she wants to say that, fine. I wasn’t going to interrupt and say, “No you weren’t!” Now, if Emma wants to say she was an evil teenager, I might not argue with her there.

Much more to come……………

Chainsaws and Fireflies

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma is now a married lady at the age of 21. I guess the freedom and independence she wanted so badly wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Most parents would wish their children didn’t get married at such a young age, but sometimes it works out. Emma still has some growing up to do, emotionally, and I would like to believe we will one day reconcile, but knowing Emma for 17 years, I don’t think so. Too many times, I saw Emma decide she didn’t like something or someone, and if you’ve heard the expression, “You are dead to me.” That pretty much describes Emma.
Like the knitting group in the previous post, when Emma decided she was done, that was it. In the knitting group, Emma sat in the corner, by herself, and refused to talk to anyone. I never figured out why she didn’t like the group anymore. When it was just Jan and her daughter, it was fine, but when a few more people showed up, that was it. I saw this same kind of behavior over and over again with people Emma didn’t like, whether it was someone from school, church, or wherever. If we ran into someone on Emma’s list, and I stopped to say hello, Emma was beyond rude in her silence, or would walk away when someone said hello to her, as if she were looking at something, pretending not to hear. Afterwards, I would scold her for being so rude, and told her that I didn’t care if she didn’t like someone, but she still needed to be polite. I wasn’t forcing her to have a conversation, but she could at least say hello.

This behavior never changed. Once you were on Emma’s list, you were dead to her, as I am sure I am to Emma now. I can still have hope that Emma will grow up and accept responsibility for what she did and quit blaming others, especially her parents for anything that didn’t go the way she wanted in her life, but if that even happens, it won’t be until she’s about thirty and she starts to realize her parents did the best they could and made mistakes just like every other parent out there. I can’t honestly say I have much hope though. Kids make mistakes, but as I’ve mentioned before, I think the things Emma’s done go far beyond “mistakes.”

In telling Emma’s story, I want to also tell some of the funny stories about Emma. For much of her childhood, her dad was working, so often, I was the only one to witness some of the funny things she said or did.


Chainsaws

Emma's drawing of her dad with a chainsaw after a few beers.  Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey.

Emma’s drawing of her dad with a chainsaw after a few beers. Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey.

Emma did the above picture in 2004, when she was 10. Phill’s friend, Keith, a mechanic at UPS whom Phill did computer work for, was an expert at cutting down trees. He had the spiked shoes and would secure a tree with rope before climbing up and cutting the top of it off until it got to a manageable level to cut down completely. If you’ve never seen a large tree cut down, it is very interesting to watch.
Phill asked Keith to come over one Saturday to cut down some trees, and decided to ask a couple of friends from church to come over and help and we would have pizza and beer.

In Emma’s 10 year old brain, the thought of chainsaws and beer was not a good mix! (And you were exactly right Emma. I hope you will remember that about drinking and driving!) The afternoon when Phill was talking to me about it, Emma went off to her room to draw and came back to show me this picture of her dad, drunk, with a chainsaw. I thought it was pretty funny, and of course had to show it to Phill. I even scanned it in the computer, so I could show it to my sister. If anyone is concerned, the adults drank responsibly, and I think the only accident was when our friend, Patti, from church, cut a smaller tree down and it came down on the fence. I certainly can’t say anything about that, because I was out working in the yard alone one day, and cut down a tree that landed perfectly on the boombox I had out with me. It was crushed into a hundred pieces. I couldn’t have done that if I tried!

Emma and the Fireflies

One summer night, when Emma was about 9 or 10, she had gone to bed. Our home in Hoschton had split bedrooms with the living room between. Emma’s bedroom had two long windows and then a wide, short rectangular window above those. The long windows were covered with plantation shutters and we’d put a valance over the rectangular window, so it wasn’t light-tight.

Phill and I were in the living room, when Emma let out a blood curdling scream! We both stood up, ready to run to the aid of our child, when she came running out of her room, straight to me and threw her arms around me. I could feel her heart pounding furiously through her PJs. Emma screamed, “Someone was shining a light into my window!!!!”

Phill and looked at each other, not quite believing what we were hearing. Phill went in Emma’s room to look out the window, and I was starting to figure it out. All I could think of was, “Fireflies.”

Sure enough, lying in bed, looking up at her window, beneath the valance, Emma had seen the little blinking lights of the fireflies at her window.
We laughed about this story for years, and Emma even wrote an essay on it for an assignment at Master’s Academy (the homeschool arts program she attended).

Emma in her pjs, holding a little snake I found In the yard.  Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey Emma Buchheim

Emma in her pjs, holding a little snake I found In the yard. Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey Emma Buchheim

The Knitting Group

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

I have a lot of anecdotes about Emma that I want to share. Some of them may give the professionals out there some insight into what was going on with Emma.

Emma's first try at knitting. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Buchheim

Emma’s first try at knitting. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Buchheim

 

The Knitting Group

When we were homeschooling, in 8th grade, Emma did not want to go to the Arts Program she’d involved with since 4th grade, and so I was on the lookout for activities for my “unsocialized homeschooler.” (That term is a little joke in the homeschooling community.) I read in our local paper, The Jackson Herald, that a knitting group was forming at the Braselton Library, just a few minutes away from our home in Hoschton, Ga. I asked Emma if she would like to go, and she agreed.

The knitting group was started by a very nice woman named Jan, and she and her daughter Megan were both fabulous knitters. Meagan was about two years older than Emma. Since I am not a knitter, I took along some beadwork to work on, and the first few sessions, it was just the four of us. We worked on our projects and chatted. In addition to knitting, Jan was also a spinner, so we learned about spinning, felting, and all kinds of things about knitting. Even though I am not a knitter, it was interesting to me as well. Emma seemed to really took to knitting and when she wanted to try making a pair of socks, we got her some fancy colorful yarn and special needles. She made a beautiful sock, but wasn’t happy with it, so she took it apart and never tried making another one. I was impressed at how she learned to turn the heel and everything. Later on, Emma took to sewing. I think knitting might have been a little to labor intensive for her.

When it was just Jan and Meagan, Emma was very talkative, and everything was great. She seemed to enjoy the group, and acted like a mature young lady. Later on, a few more girls began to come to the group and Emma made a complete change. Two of the girls that started coming, Braden and Bronte, were sisters that we’d met in a homeschool choir that Emma was in and we’d even done some homeschool field trips with them. They were very nice young ladies, from a good Christian family, just the type of girls Emma would want to be around. Their mother also came and sat with us. Another young lady that came was from our neighborhood. Her parents had had some trouble with her and had pulled her out of public school. She was fairly quiet when we were there.

Once other people started coming to the group, Emma sat alone, away from everyone else and did not speak to anyone. She just sat there and knitted. I asked her what was wrong that she wouldn’t talk to anyone anymore, and she didn’t have an answer for me. It was more than being quiet, it actually seemed like she was being rude. Of course, the other girls didn’t care. They sat together and chatted. It was a small room, so Emma could have participated in the conversations, even from where she was sitting, but she kept her head down, looking at her knitting, and didn’t even try to talk to the other girls. Emma was never shy and had no reservations about speaking in public, so that couldn’t have been it. She just sat there, seeming kind of angry and withdrawn. I never understood it.

Later on, when we decided to put Emma in public school for 9th grade, we stopped going to the group. We ran into Jan and Meagan at the grocery once or twice. They were lovely people.

One of the things that Dr. Richard Born (Applied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga. appliedpsychologicalhealth.com ) got right about Emma’s Psychological Evaluation was when he said she was uncomfortable with her peers. I don’t remember how he said it, but you can go back and read the Psych Eval earlier in the blog. Was this why Emma sat in the corner, practically sulking? Emma loved going to our ladies’ Bible study group. She was usually the only teenager there, and everyone fawned over her, paid attention to her, and was impressed with how well she spoke and how smart she was? She loved all the attention, but in a group of kids her own age, she was just another kid. Was part of the problem that she was not the star of the show? She didn’t get enough attention? I don’t know.

So many parents talk about kids who aren’t comfortable around adults and would rather just hang out with kids. When they meet an adult they don’t know what to day, are bored easily, and just want to go hang out with their friends. I think in our case, with homeschooling and Emma’s other activities, maybe she was the opposite. She was comfortable around adults because they wall thought she was wonderful, but she wasn’t comfortable with her peers.

I do want to write my thoughts on homeschooling, but that will be for another post. Yes, I still think it is wonderful, and I have known so many wonderful homeschooled kids. Emma is not one of them. Would public school have made any difference? I don’t know. It might have just made her a better liar.

P.S. Congratulations, Mrs. Emma. I hope the wedding was everything you wanted it to be. I’m sorry you took your top secret wedding site down, but like I always told you, if you’re hiding what you’re doing from your mother, it is probably because you know what you are doing is wrong.

Emma’s Site Gone

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Thank you to my readers. Since several of you wrote and pointed it out, yes, Emma took down her wedding site that she had posted on The Knot. I am in the middle of a crazy, busy schedule for a few weeks, so I didn’t even know about it until some of you e-mailed me.

I’m sorry. I do not have any details. Is Emma marrying “Jackson Miller”? Is Emma marrying Tyler Buchheim? Is Emma getting married in California, Missouri, or Tyler Buchheim’s hometown in Ohio? Is Emma getting married at all? After all, she was telling people for months that she was engaged to Tyler Buchheim, but neglected to tell Tyler about it, so maybe she forgot to tell the groom about the wedding. I don’t know why Emma took the website down. You had to have a password to see it, so it’s not like anyone could look at it anyway. I’m just assuming the wedding is still Sept. 19thin four more days. Congratulations and Best Wishes, Emma.

The purpose of my site is to tell Emma’s story. I have received both positive and negative feedback, but I must say more positive than negative. I can understand why people would be disturbed by the site, but my feeling is, if it bothers you, don’t read it. As I’ve mentioned before, this is not something I wanted to do, but Emma and her dad gave me no choice, so I will continue. I offered to take the site down and keep this between Emma, her dad, and myself, and Emma chose not to take that offer. I have a lot more to write about including observations of Emma growing up, behaviors I witnessed that may or may not have been warning signs. How do you know what’s normal childhood behavior and when that behavior might be something to be concerned about?

I also want Emma’s story documented for when she pulls something on someone else. If Emma should accuse anyone else of rape or sexual abuse or anything else, I want her history known, and I will be happy to provide documentation from the witnesses who gave me statements to show Emma’s history of lying.

A couple of things that I have been thinking of lately were Emma’s experience with a knitting group we went to, and the time after Phill got the Temporary Protective Order against me and then showed up with Emma in the car, wanting me to come out to the car. Here I am, this dangerous child abuser, and you have a piece of paper saying I can’t come within 75 yards, so why would you bring this poor abused child to me? Was Phill just being stupid or were he and Emma trying to get me to violate the Temporary Protective order so they could go for the Restraining order that Emma wanted so badly?

Anyway, those will probably be my next couple of topics just because they have been on my mind a lot.

Thank you readers, I appreciate your encouragement and support. Email me anytime at: losingemma@gmail.com   I do answer all private e-mails.

And Emma, since I know you read the site. Good luck with the wedding. And good luck to Tyler Buchheim or “Jackson Miller” or whomever my son-in-law may be.

-Emma’s Wedding Sept. 19, 2015


If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

I recently got some interesting (snail) mail from Petuluma, CA. I wonder what Emma thinks of CA?

Several people have asked me to post the link to Emma’s wedding site. I really liked the comment asking me which Emma was getting married. Was it Emma Roey? Katherine Smith? Sophie Buchheim? Emma-Kate? Katie Smith?

It is a wedding registry site called The Knot, and here is the link to one of Emma’s weddings:

http://registry.theknot.com/emma-roey-jackson-miller-september-2015/10942079

Emma had another site on The Knot which looks like it has been deleted. In that one, the wedding was taking place in Port Girardeau, MO.

Let me give a little free publicity to Emma’s photographer on the site, Amanda Donoho. http://www.amandadonoho.com She does some beautiful work!

Emma, congratulations. I hope everything goes well and your special day is everything you want it to be.  I’m still going to hold you accountable for what you did, and I’m still going to keep writing.  You know I think you are too young and not ready for marriage, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you do have a wonderful life and and wonderful marriage.  I may not think the marriage will survive, but that doesn’t mean I want to see it fail.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

More to come…….