Emma Turns 21 Years Old!

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claims to still have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma Katherine Roey Born:  Dec. 19, 1993 6lbs. 12oz. 7:34 AM 19 1/2" long Emma Katherine Roey
Born: Dec. 19, 1993
6lbs. 12oz.
7:34 AM
19 1/2″ long[/captio

Twenty-one years ago today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Wow. Things certainly didn’t turn out anything like I expected! I wanted to spend the day writing about that wonderful day that Emma came into the world, but I’ve been busy with work and with the holidays, so I’m just going to share a few thoughts, and maybe one day later, I’ll write about Emma’s birth.

In any event, I hope Emma has a wonderful 21st birthday. Maybe her dad got her an expensive piece of jewelry that she wanted or the hair laser treatments she wanted if she didn’t get them when she graduated high school. Maybe she’s out with her other mom, Sandra Brooks McCravy, or if her friends Kayla Benifield Weaver (and husband Blair) or Abbey Benito are home from Armstrong College in Savannah, Ga., and Anderson University, Anderson, S.C., respectively,, Emma will get to socialize a bit.

I was thinking about the young people I know that are around Emma’s age. I think most of us will agree that 21 is not grown up. Most 21 year olds are still living off mom and dad. I do know a couple of young people who went through some technical programs, got jobs, apartments, etc., and are living on their own, but not many. A lot of kids, like Emma, lack the maturity to do so, and some kids are working on career paths that take much longer, so they are supported by mom and dad while they work on their degrees.

They say a mother’s work is never done. I’ve certainly found that to be true! As a mother, I’m going to hold Emma accountable for her actions. I gave her the opportunity to keep this between her dad and me, and I would have taken down the blog, but Emma chose not to take that path, so I will continue researching, investigating, taking notes, and writing the blog. There are many things I haven’t written about because I don’t want Emma to know everything I know. Some information I should probably hold on to for a while, and I will write about it when the time is right. You can bet though, as long as Emma is going around lying, I’m going to be behind the scenes collecting information.

Who expects their child to grow up and do horrible things and hurt people? Sadly, I’ve met many parents who’ve been through something similar with their own children, and as one mom said to me, “I didn’t raise him that way.” I certainly agree. Phill and I didn’t raise Emma to be a liar Of course we didn’t even know how much Emma had lied about until much, much later. Emma’s dad refuses to discuss Emma with me and has no answer as to why she claims I poisoned her with DDT. As I mentioned earlier, I wanted to write about Emma’s on line friendship with “Lacey” the girl Emma claimes was raped and attempted suicide, and thus was the catalyst for Emma’s repressed memories of being sexually “molested” by a priest when she was 12 years old. I also want to share other insights on Emma, her relationships, her paranoia, etc. I will be documenting as much of Emma’s childhood as i can.

In any event, Happy Birthday to my baby girl. I hope it was all worth it.

Love,
Mom

A Christmas Past

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claims to still have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.  If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at:  losingemma@gmail.com

Emma's birthday the year she had several friends spend the night and we took them to the ice skating rink, Ice Forum in Duluth, Ga.

Emma’s birthday the year she had several friends spend the night and we took them to the ice skating rink, Ice Forum in Duluth, Ga.

Before being removed from my home, I was working on collecting a lot of sweet and funny stories from Emma’s childhood and putting them together so she would have them when she was grown. Phill still has all that on his computer, so I can’t really do it now, but I will still write down some of her stories because for so many of them, Phill wasn’t around, so I’m the only one to tell them. I think Phill may have been working weekends when Emma was in about 1st grade, and I took her to see Santa at the Hoschton Pavillion. The Hoschton’s Women’s Club sponsored having Santa come every year and took a polaroid of your child with Santa and gave out little goodie bags. It was a big deal in Hoschton, Ga., and everyone we knew with small children went up to the pavillion on a December Saturday morning for the big event. Emma was always so man shy that I don’t know if we ever did get a picture of her sitting on Santa’s lap. Usually our picture showed a somewhat distrustful Emma standing next to Santa, with a little distance between the man in red and herself. She loved Santa, but only let him get so close. This particular year, Santa had just visited Emma’s school a few days before, but at the pavillion, Santa was played by one of our neighbors, and when it was Emma’s turn, he called her by name to come up to him so she could tell him what she wanted for Christmas, get her photo taken, and get a goodie bag. As a mom, it was just one of the cutest things your kids do, and I so enjoyed the magical feeling of the season of Christmas and the excitement of taking Emma to see Santa. When she was done, Emma said goodbye to Santa and walked away. She took my hand and we headed to the car. I could hear her muttering to herself, and she sounded rather disgusted. I asked her what she was saying and she told me how this was the real Santa at the pavillion. That Santa at her school was NOT the real Santa. Then she added, “He didn’t even know my name!”

Emma turns 21 on Dec. 19!   (I guess I shouldn't be expecting an invitation to the party!  I might spike the punch with DDT!)

Emma turns 21 on Dec. 19! (I guess I shouldn’t be expecting an invitation to the party! I might spike the punch with DDT!)

AND………….Since Emma is about to turn the bit 21 in about 11 days, I should probably mention that she has an outstanding fine at the Winder, Ga. library. Since she’s an adult now and wants to be in charge of her life, so a good place to start would be to take care of those fines. They were on some Janette Oke books and a knitting book. I guess I will see if Emma wants to step up and pay them, or does she want her mom to pick up after her like usual.

Emma’s Family Creations

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. Emma claims to still have health problems because of this “poisoning.” As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

Emma got the lead in her school's production of Metamorphoses when she attended Jackson County Comprehensive High School.   When they performed the play in a competition and lost, Emma lied about why they lost, and this was confirmed to my by her Drama Teacher, Bonnie Roberts.  (I will later share more about Emma's experience with the Drama Department at both JCCHS and Jefferson High School, but it's too long to go into tonight.  I just wanted to share this picture because of Emma's gift for acting.  She had the lead in the play, and then went on to play the roll of a victim of sexual abuse and then of child abuse, followed by the roll of girlfriend and the roll of bride-to-be!  Quite a lot of drama for one young life!

Emma got the lead in her school’s production of Metamorphoses when she attended Jackson County Comprehensive High School. When they performed the play in a competition and lost, Emma lied about why they lost, and this was confirmed to my by her Drama Teacher, Bonnie Roberts. (I will later share more about Emma’s experience with the Drama Department at both JCCHS and Jefferson High School, but it’s too long to go into tonight. I just wanted to share this picture because of Emma’s gift for acting. She had the lead in the play, and then went on to play the roll of a victim of sexual abuse and then of child abuse, followed by the roll of girlfriend and the roll of bride-to-be! Quite a lot of drama for one young life!

I really wanted to add this post to the previous post about Emma and her boyfriend, Bud, and I will, but I first wanted to post my thoughts before I do go back and add it, so that my loyal readers don’t have to go back and wade through a post they’ve already read, just to get to one little section that I’ve added.

For some reason, when I got the e-mail from Emma, this line really stuck in my head:

“Oh, and stalking my boyfriend and his family until THEY dumped me?”

I find that this line in Emma’s letter to me, after Bud broke up with her, speaks volumes. VOLUMES. If you think back to being 19 or 20 and having a boyfriend, most of us would agree that we were into the relationship with the boyfriend/girlfriend, and while most of us might have met our boyfriend’s parents, depending on if they lived nearby, we were not at all into making them our family. Most 19 year olds are more into the moment. Why was Emma trying to create an instant family? She was telling people she was engaged when she was not. She was telling people she and Bud were going to go ahead and get married, and she even asked one of her dad’s friends to give her away.

Phill won’t discuss Emma with me, won’t discuss the lies she’s told, and can’t even explain to me why she accused me of poisoning her with DDT, so I have to come to my own conclusions based on what other people have told me about Emma. Emma got rid of her mom and replaced her with Sandra Brooks McCravy. She had her dad wrapped around her little finger and he would do pretty much whatever she wanted, letting her get her driver’s license when he originally said she could not get it until she was 18. (With mom out of the house, and Dad on the road much of the week, Phill couldn’t keep asking the neighbors to drive Emma to school, and God forbid she be put in Jackson County Comprehensive High School and ride the bus.) He got her a car and replaced it twice after she wrecked and totaled two cars. He let her take off and move to Ohio, without every meeting the family Emma was moving in with. I am assuming Emma was asking someone else to give her away because they were not close enough to the situation to know that Emma was lying about getting married to Bud. She couldn’t ask her dad to give her away because he (hopefully) would have asked some questions like maybe, “When is the wedding?” There was no wedding. Emma was just creating more drama for herself. Now she could star as the bride in her imaginary new life, a new role, and a change for her after playing a victim for so long. Once again, though, she had the lead.

Why was Emma so eager to create a new family? Phill and I always joked about what a boring life we had. Emma’s dad went to work and took care of his family. Emma’s mom stayed home and took care of things at home until later taking a very part time little job with a school program. We didn’t do a lot of exciting things. We didn’t take a lot of trips. We were careful with money and trying to save for Emma’s college and for retirement. We did all the responsible things. We bought our house knowing I would probably stay home with Emma, so we didn’t buy a house that would require two incomes to pay for. We were involved in our church and especially involved in Emma’s youth group. We weren’t youth leaders or anything like that, but we were always available to help with activities or to drive the kids on youth group outings. Since the youth group was Emma’s main social activity and was very important to her; it was important to us.

Phill and I weren’t bad parents, just boring. We were both introverted and were always happy to have quiet evenings at home rather than nights out. When we went out, it was usually for Emma. Emma got to go to plenty of movies, plays, the Fox Theater in Atlanta, trips to the beach, etc. She was not neglected, but overall, Phill and I were homebodies.

A couple of things we did have was a lot of love and laughter. Phill couldn’t tell a joke to save his life. He would mess up every punchline, but he was just funny. He could make the simplest things funny, and we both liked puns. It seems like we rarely had a day without a lot of laughter in it. Emma, with her high IQ, seemed to have a pretty good sense of humor too, although, being a teen, she could be oversensitive to some of our silly jokes, sometimes taking things too personally. I remember seeing an IKEA (Phill loved IKEA.) commercial where a teenager was screaming at his parents, “You ruined my life!” and thought it was hilarious. Any parent with a sometimes sulky teen would understand that commercial. Emma often hovered around me at church when I was talking to other adults. I was never quite sure if it was more to know what her mother talking about, making sure I wasn’t talking about her, or if it was just because she liked to think of herself as fitting in more with the adults. She went to her youth group meetings, and was very involved in that, but the rest of the time, she was frequently at my side, especially during coffee hour in the parish hall when I’d have a chance to visit and catch up with folks. One day, I was talking to a friend, and I don’t know how we got to talking about kids or commercials or whatever, but I asked her if she’d seen the IKEA commercial, and she hadn’t so I told her about it. She thought it sounded funny and we laughed about it, and she said she wanted to see it. When we got in the car to leave church, Emma was furious at me for talking about that commercial. I guess Emma thought I was comparing it to her, but I wasn’t even talking about Emma. I tried to explain to her that it had nothing to do with Emma, and that this woman and I were just talking, but Emma decided I was making fun of her by mentioning this commercial to someone else. I thought she was being silly, but I am just the mom, so what do I know?

Ok, I’ve gotten a little off topic, and I will be writing a lot more about Emma’s background, but for now…..¬¬back to Emma and her NEW family. Why did Emma need to create a new family? She had parents, just not the parents she wanted. We were not cool or wealthy. There was some jealousy because I was more popular at Emma’s arts program than Emma was. Her friends enjoyed my classes, but to Emma I was an embarrassment. I was (horrors) her mom!

I find it interesting that Emma said that Bud’s family broke up with her. She didn’t say that Bud broke up with her. She accused me of stalking Bud’s family and said “THEY” broke up with her. I wonder if our esteemed therapists and psychologists, Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.), Suzie McGarvey (formerly with Lanier Counseling, Buford, Ga. and now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Dr. Richard Born (Applied Psychological Health) and the many therapists at the Social Empowerment Center, Lawrenceville, Ga. who all saw and treated Emma could shed some light on Emma’s thought process here. Was Emma’s family not good enough for her. I know we live in a throw-away society, and I’ve met many parents who’ve been through similar situations. Is it just part of the gimme generation? I don’t know that I will ever know the answers.

Tired tonight after a long day, so forgive me if this isn’t my best writing. I will work on it and edit it later. I just needed to get it written down.

Coming up next, I want to introduce you to “Lacey,” Emma’s pen-pal who was the catalyst to Emma’s abuse claim.

Emma Gets a Dog!

Emma’s Gets a Dog
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Emma with foster dog, Sam, who was adopted by Sandra Brooks McCravy and Greg McCravy, Lawrenceville, Ga.

Emma with foster dog, Sam, who was adopted by Sandra Brooks McCravy and Greg McCravy, Lawrenceville, Ga.

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If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

In 2012, after Emma moved to Ohio, Phill was enjoying the single life. He worked, going out of town during the week and bought a camper so he could attend RC airplane events such as SEFF, Joe Nall, etc. when he wasn’t working. He had reconnected with an old girlfriend from college as well as an old girlfriend from high school in New Jersey.  He could come and go as he pleased without the responsibility of a family.  Since he had me removed from our home, he had the house and all our possessions.  He didn’t have to worry about moving, finding a job, finding a place to live, not having furniture, bedding, clothes, pots and pans, etc.  Life was good.

Phill had one of our two dogs, and I had the other, only because I could not have two dogs where I was living. With Emma gone, Phill made our 12 year old house dog a yard dog and left him outside 24 hours a day while he was out of town.  At this time, I didn’t know Emma had moved to Ohio, so I didn’t know how our poor dog was living.  Some neighbors later told me that they would go up to see him when Phill was gone. They were very concerned about this poor dog being left alone so much and suddenly being left outside in the extreme weather when he wasn’t used to it.

Phill decided the dog was too much bother, so he contacted me and told me I needed to come up with someplace for the dog to go. With the help of a couple of friends, Spike lived at a kennel until I was able to keep him, and I went to the kennel to walk him every day that I could. It wasn’t a great life, but he was fed and warm and got more attention from the kennel employees than he got at home. Also, if you know Emma’s history, this was the dog she physically abused and was cruel to, so as much as I didn’t want him living in a kennel, it was a safer place for him to be.

When I was removed from my home, we also had a foster dog, and at the time, Phill told the director of the rescue that he and Emma might adopt the dog, but he would not have been allowed to adopt the dog. That dog also went to a kennel until I took it with me to my sister’s in CT., and he was adopted up north. He got a wonderful home, and I am thankful I still her from his mom, so I get to keep up with him. Oddly though, before saying he wanted to adopt the dog, Phill claimed our neighbor (I’m assuming it was Judy Hall.) complained that the little dog (a Rat Terrier/mix) jumped up and bit her on the “ass” when she came over to let him out. The director of the rescue thought this sounded like an odd statement, and when she and I discussed it, both of us knowing how timid this dog was, it just didn’t sound like something he would do. This dog had been mauled by a large dog and nearly killed. He very, very shy, and it had taken months for him to come out of his shell even a little bit. He never showed any signs of aggression towards people or other animals. At the time, we thought Phill wanted to get rid of the dog, so he made up the “bite” story, and then later on he said he wanted to adopt him? Very strange.

Emma and foster dog, Willie, who was happy to sit with her while she worked on her homeschooling.

Emma and foster dog, Willie, who was happy to sit with her while she worked on her homeschooling.

In Sept. of 2013, after discovering Emma’s lying about his family, Emma’s boyfriend, “Bud” broke up the relationship, and sent Emma packing. She headed home to daddy with her tail between her legs. (Sorry, couldn’t resist since this IS a dog story.)

How I found out about Emma’s little dog is more a story about Phill, but it is interesting, so I will share it here.

For over 10 years, I have volunteered with a dog/cat rescue, fostering dogs in my home (up until the divorce) and going to a local PetsMart on Saturdays to help with adoptions, doing home visits, running errands, helping with fundraisers, etc. For most of that time, Emma also volunteered and went with me to PetsMart on Saturdays. Every Saturday, I’d leave the house at the same time to go to PetsMart.

On Sat., June 28 2014, two days before what would have been our 30th wedding anniversary, Phill showed up at PetsMart. I happened to be working that day, so I missed it, but one of our volunteers, M., who knew Phill quite well, was the one to tell me about it. Since Phill often brought Emma and I lunch when we were volunteering, and sat and ate with us, he saw M. almost as much as we did, and he considered her a friend just as much as I did.  He did computer work for M., and she’d been to our home for holiday dinners and such.

M. was setting up for adoptions with another volunteer and she looked up to see Phill standing before her, nervous and sweating profusely. She said he asked if I was around, and she told him I was working. Phill said something about us not getting along well, and M. turned and walked away. M. was there the day Phill showed up with Emma in the car and tried to get me to come out to the car to talk to him so that I would violate the Temporary Protective Order he had taken out on me. She had no respect for Phill and wanted nothing to do with him. Our other volunteer had known Phill and Emma as well, and was also shocked to see Phill show up at PetsMart. Later, M. saw him walking through the store with a baby gate.

Phill knew exactly when I would be at PetsMart. As M. and I talked that night, we wondered why in the world Phill showed up at PetsMart when the odds were that I would be there. Phill could have gone to numerous other PetsMarts such as the one in Winder, Flowery Branch, or the Pet Co. about ¼ mile down the road. He could have gone to a WalMart in Winder, Hamilton Mill, Buford, or any other Walmart between his work at UPS in Doraville and home in Hoschton, as Walmat sells baby gates too. Why did he decide to come to that PetsMart on the day when I would be there. He could have gone early in the morning, knowing what time we set up, so he wouldn’t have had the chance to run into me, so why did he come then?

M. did not realize that it was two days before what would have been our 30th anniversary, and when I told her she felt that that must have been the reason, that Phill wanted to drive that knife a little deeper into my heart by showing up right before our anniversary. Since then, I’ve talked to a few other armchair psychologists, as well as a couple of professionals, and the consensus seems to be that Phill wanted to see me with his own eyes for some reason. Being a man, it probably had nothing to do with our anniversary. Phill probabaly didn’t even realize that it was our anniversary. True. He got my birthday wrong on the year I turned 30, and at that point we’d been married for 6 years! We both had forgotten our anniversaries before, but I didn’t think much of that because with his schedule, unless it was a big year, we didn’t do much for our anniversaries anyway. For our 23rd we’d taken a trip to Tybee for a few days, but that was only because Emma happened to be at camp that same week. (And boy was she mad when she found out we went to Tybee Island without her!) Other than a trip to Tybee one year, and splurging on a bottle of Dom Perrion for our 20th, we didn’t do much for our anniversaries. We had talked about a trip for our 30th, and I was looking forward to doing something special for it, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

Later, someone sent me a picture (Thank you, whoever you are.) of Emma’s little dog, and it is quite cute. I’m surprised she didn’t get something more aggressive though, since she claims to be in danger when her dad is out of town for work and she is home alone. A German shepherd or a Pit Bull might have been more appropriate.

Fortunately for Emma’s little dog, it’s got a great yard to run around in. When we bought the house, I insisted on fencing the back yard. We had two acres and about an acre of it is fenced. It was great when Emma was growing up because it was a woodsy yard, and it didn’t worry me if Emma got out of sight. Phill and I figured that would be our last home, and I knew I would always have dogs, so we put up a 5 ft. chain link fence. It was really wonderful to have. (Emma’s old dog just has a little area about 10 x 15 ft fenced, but hey, we make do with what we have.) Part of the yard was open, and when I took some agility classes with one of our dogs, Phill got into building me some equipment. I’m not sure why, as I did not plan to compete in agility, as it can get quite expensive, it was just something fun to try. He was so enthused about it, I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t something I really wanted. Maybe it’s that guy thing about men and power tools. Well, as it turned out, even after I stopped going to agility, I loved having the equipment because our dogs, as well as our foster dogs enjoyed doing the runs and jumps. Unfortunately, Phill didn’t finish the wood properly, and it all fell apart after a few years.

The a-frame Phill built for the dogs in the backyard of our Deer Creek home in Hoschton.  Phill Roey.  Emma Roey

The a-frame Phill built for the dogs in the backyard of our Deer Creek home in Hoschton. Phill Roey. Emma Roey

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I would love to know what the professionals think about Phill coming to PetsMart when he knew I would more than likely be there, to buy a babygate? I wonder what Dr. Richard Brown (Applied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.) , Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment and Counseling, Duluth, Ga.) , and Suzie McGarvey North Gwinnett Counseling Associates, Suwanee, Ga., Lanier Counseling, Buford, Ga.) all think? But then, to be honest, I’d rather have the opinion of someone whom I consider to be a little more professional.

Happy Thanksgiving Emma

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

Happy Thanksgiving Emma. Whether you are at home with Daddy or spending it with Daddy’s RC group, I hope the cutest little turkey I know has a wonderful day! You also have a BIG birthday coming up!

P.S. Have fun with the Black Friday shopping!! I was wondering if Kohl’s is still your favorite. You know me, i will be far away from the crowds! My one and only Black Friday shopping was with you, just before……………

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma Katherine Roey

Bud the Boyfriend Part 2, The Break-up (UPDATED 11/18/14)

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

Another One of Emma's Pinterest posts while dating "Bud."

Another One of Emma’s Pinterest posts while dating “Bud.”

Bud the Boyfriend, Part 2, The Break-up

When I found out about Bud, I began writing about it on the blog. I found out who Bud’s mother was and contacted her with a brief e-mail stating my situation with Emma and gave her my name, address, phone number, and e-mail address and told her to please contact me if she had any questions.

Early on, I got a couple of e-mails through the blog from Bud’s mother, but I felt a little funny about posting them, so I didn’t. Bud’s mother threatened legal action, but I’d already talked to an attorney about what I could and couldn’t post on the blog, so I wasn’t worried about any type of legal action. I think now, Bud’s mom is probably glad that I didn’t post her e-mails, but in one of her earlier messages, she stated that Emma and Bud were NOT engaged, but that she would be thrilled to have Emma as a daughter-in-law one day, and she told me to quit lying on the blog to make my story sound better. We went back and forth a few times, and Bud’s mother kept denying that Emma and Bud were engaged until I told her that I DID believe her when she said Emma and Bud weren’t engaged, but I was just writing about what Emma was telling other people, and I had the documentation to back it up.

Bud’s mother and I exchanged a few more e-mails both through the blog and privately, and I told her I would be writing more about the lies Emma told about Bud’s family, and although I put Bud’s name as well as his parents’ names in the blog, I let Bud’s mother know that I would never mention Bud’s sister’s name in the blog. I really did not want to cause this young lady any pain. I figured the adults could handle it.

From the first e-mail I received from Bud’s mother, to the last, I could sense a change in her tone. At first, she seemed very hostile towards me, and then later, I think she started to see there was something not right about Emma and the stories she told.

To be honest, I really didn’t want to hurt Bud or his parents either, but when your child has accused you of the crimes of child abuse and attempted murder, you do what you have to. I gave Emma the opportunity to keep this between her dad and me, and I had really hoped that she would tell the truth, and we would move forward from there. I thought that maybe the thought of losing Bud might push Emma in the right direction, but Emma probably felt that if Bud found out what a horrible thing she’d to her mother, he would end the relationship anyway, so there wasn’t any reason for her to tell the truth.

Emma told Bud’s family pretty much what I have said in the blog. I find it interesting that she told them she was sick as a child and that it was due to being poisoned. (That darned DDT again!) Emma claimed to continue to have health problems and always seemed to be tired and didn’t have much energy. She also got over heated easily and fainted frequently. (More about Emma’s “fainting” in a later post. She pulled a very dramatic fainting scene at the home of Fr. George and Paulette Ivey.)

Another sweet wedding idea Emma had on her pinterest page.

Another sweet wedding idea Emma had on her pinterest page.

I also find it interesting that Emma was in such fragile health while living in Ohio. I guess this was another way to play the victim. Who wouldn’t feel sorry for a frail little figure who’d suffered years of DDT poisoning? As for getting “over heated,” Emma never had problems tolerating the heat. For a while, she was on some medication that made her skin break out into red blotches if she got too much sun, but she managed to go on a 10 day mission trip with Eternal Hope in Haiti during the summer. She also went on a youth group mission trip to Cherokee, N.C. during the summer and did numerous outdoor activities in hot weather. I believe Emma’s precarious health while living in Ohio was just another drama exercise for a young lady who wanted attention.

Emma described Bud’s mother as controlling and said Bud was “under her thumb.” She claimed Bud couldn’t do anything without getting permission from his mother first. I believe, when I heard Emma making these claims, Bud was 21 years old at the time, and I just could not imagine a young man who went away to school, still having every move controlled by his mother.

emmapinterestcrazy

Ironically, Emma posted this e-card on her Pinterest while she was dating Bud.

Bud’s family never met Phill, and all they knew was that he worked for UPS and was gone most of the time. They thought Emma seemed to have a lot of freedom, very little supervision, and they were surprised when Phill let her move to Ohio without having met Bud’s family or even talking to them on the phone. They had the feeling that he wasn’t very involved in Emma’s life. Maybe this is why Emma accused Bud’s mother of being controlling. Although Bud was in college, he still had rules when he came home, and Emma didn’t seem to have any rules she had to follow.

So………….Emma moved up to Ohio, in with her boyfriend’s grandparents, and lived happily ever after, or maybe not. Emma had everything she ever wanted. She was out from under her control freak, micromanaging mother, and she’d managed to get out of Georgia and up to Ohio where she could start a new life with a new audience who didn’t know about her habit. She lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, she lied about being sexually molested, she lied about being physically abused, she lied about kids in the neighborhood she claimed did drugs, got pregnant, had abortions, etc., she lied about neighbors, family, church members, school, teachers, etc. Too many people in Georgia were catching on to Emma, so Ohio was a fresh start, but what happened?  Emma got everything she wanted in moving to Ohio.  She was pseudo-independent, living on her own, pretending to be an adult, but financially supported by her Daddy.  She had this wonderful boyfriend who had a wonderful family who seemed quite ready to accept Emma into the fold.  Why did Emma need to lie about Bud’s family?  Why did she need to keep being a victim, claiming Bud’s sister hated her and making Bud’s mother out to be a control freak, just like Emma’s own mother?

On Sept. 4th, 2013, I received a rather hateful e-mail from Emma. It was short and to the point, telling me that Bud broke up with her. After the divorce of her parents, Emma sent me a “drop dead” e-mail, just as my attorney had said she would. The e-mail stated that I was not to contact her, phone her, text her etc., and my attorney had explained that if I did contact Emma after receiving a letter from her like this, she could take out a restraining order against me. I received it, and I did not contact Emma again until after she contacted me. Later, I contacted Emma about one of the police reports, giving her the opportunity to discuss it before I published it on the blog, and she sent me the same “drop dead” email:

“DO NOT contact me again, in any form, at any time. Forms of contact include (but are not limited to): phone calls, voicemails, text messages, email messages, messages sent through a postal service, and physical/verbal in-person contact.”

So, I guess how that works is that Emma can contact me, but if I contact her after she contacts me, she sends me another “drop dead” e-mail to let me know that if I contact her again, she will take out a restraining order. I wonder if that really works? Is a judge going to take a restraining order seriously if you contact the person you are trying to get a restraining order against?

Ok, so back to the break up. What exactly happened? In the e-mail I received from Emma on that Sept. 4th, the subject line read: Congratulations, and in the e-mail Emma accused me of destroying her life “so completely” and that I won and I had proven that no matter how hard Emma tried to escape my damage and rebuild her life, I still found a way to hurt her and took away the most important, sweetest person in her life. She thought I would be thrilled to know that all the “crap” got to be too much for Bud and he’d dumped her. She asked if in my twisted mind we were somehow even or would I continue to destroy her life. She claimed she could never have a relationship because I would ruin it, what the hell did she have to do? What was my endgame? What did I want from her? She called my blog “inane” and said that stalking her boyfriend and his family til [sic] they dumped her did not score any points either.

Oh there was so much I could have said in reply to Emma’s e-mail, but what would be the point? I sent Emma a short e-mail telling her I would not do this by e-mail and she could call me if she wanted to discuss it.

That same night, I also received a much longer e-mail from Bud, telling me he had broken up with Emma. I won’t go into the details of his e-mail except to say that he stated that reading the blog and put a seed of doubt in his head about Emma, and he could not be in a relationship where he wasn’t in 100%.

I guess Emma wasn’t quite as convincing as she thought she was. She packed her bags and headed back to Georgia.  While I have no doubt that Bud is a wonderful young man, and I’m sure, under different circumstances, if he had ended up being my son-in-law someday, I would have thought Emma made a fine choice in a husband, but I thank God that Bud had the sense to realize something was not right and to end his relationship with Emma.  I can only imagine what harm she could have done to his family.  I do hope one day Emma can have a good relationship, and even get married, but I don’t think she is anywhere near ready for that step in life right now.  She needs to get her own life in order first, but as long as Emma keeps lying her way through life, that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

One more pinterest I thought Emma might like to save for her wedding ideas.

One more pinterest idea I thought Emma might like to save for her future weddings.

Coming up next: Emma’s New Dog!

Bud the Boyfriend

UPDATED 10/25/14, but there’s still more to come………..

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then accused her mother of physically abusing her and poisoning her with DDT. As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me, Emma’s mom.

 

Emma’s First Boyfriend

We will call Emma’s first boyfriend Bud, Bud the Boyfriend.

If you’ve been reading the blog, you know that Emma met her “best friend” whom I call “Lacey”online, (For the sake of this young lady’s privacy, I have changed the name.) but Emma never actually met her in person. Emma claimed “Lacey” was raped and attempted suicide. Emma also told stories about Lacey’s family, for example: that “Lacey’s” mother almost died of Breast Cancer, etc. None of these stories turned out to be true.

Just like “Lacey,” Emma met Bud the Boyfriend online, but unlike “Lacey” this young man, she went on to meet in person. Emma would go on to lie about Bud and his family, just like she did about “Lacey’s” family.

Bud was from Ohio and an architecture student at Notre Dame University. Bud came from a Catholic family and had a mother and father and a younger sister. The family had a lovely home and a little Yorkie dog. Bud’s grandparents lived close by. While I communicated with Bud’s mother a few times during their relationship, I never actually met any of them, but they sounded like lovely people.

After meeting online, Bud came down to visit Emma, and she went on vacation with his entire family to Hilton Head, N.C. Bud’s family got some beautiful family portraits made by Hilton Head Photgraphy, and they even got pictures made of Emma and Bud. Very sweet. (If you want to see the picture, just contact me and I will send it with Bud’s face blocked out.)

Emma posted one of the portraits of Bud and her on her Facebook, and got some sweet comments from Bud’s mother and grandmother and even Emma’s mommy, Sandra Brooks McCravy who mentioned that she hoped to see Bud again soon. Emma also began posting all kinds of things about engagement, weddings, and marriage on her pinterest:emmapinterest3a

emmapinterest2d

emma pinterest

Emma certainly had nice taste in jewelry, but Bud was just a college student and wouldn’t have had the kind of money for the ring Emma was hinting for!
Emma had attended some college clasess at Georgia Gwinnett College, and then went on to Piedmont College in Demerost, Ga. for a semester. After her first semester, she moved up to Ohio and in with Bud’s family. From what I understand, Emma convinced Bud’s family that she was not safe at home when her dad was on the road because of her violent, abusive mother. (Horrors!) She conned the family into letting her move up to Ohio, and she moved in with Bud’s grandparents. Bud’s mother was smart enough to know she did not want two young people, who were in a relationship, living under the same roof, and Bud’s grandparents were kind enough to offer their home to Emma.

I’m not sure when, but I’m guessing it was after her first semester at Piedmont College, so Emma would have moved up to Ohio around the first Jan 2013. Emma packed the car and drove to Ohio, moved in with Bud’s grandparents, enrolled in Wirght State University, got a job, and began her new life.

What really surprised me as well as Bud’s mother was that Phill let Emma go up to Ohio and move in with people he’d never met, and during the entire time Emma and Bud were together, Phill never met Bud’s family. Emma sure knew which parent she wanted to get rid of, didn’t she? Granted, Emma was over 18, but I think Emma would still to this day tell you that had her mother (not to be confused with her “mommy”, Sandra Brooks McCravy) been in the picture, I would have gone up to Ohio with her to see exactly where and with whom my daughter would be living. Emma wanted freedom, and she got it.

I can’t remember when I found out Emma was “engaged” but I was surprised as Emma and Bud hadn’t been together that long. There was just one problem……………………Emma neglected to tell Bud that they were engaged. Those pesky details again!

Emma's House Plans!

Emma’s House Plans!

One of Emma’s friends contacted me to tell me that Emma seemed to be turning on Bud’s mother the way she turned on her own mother. Emma seemed to need a new villain in her life. I heard from a couple more folks about Emma, so, as usual, I documented and saved everything.

The World According to Emma

Emma claimed Bud was under his mother’s thumb, that Bud’s mother ran the show and that Bud’s dad was a “wuss” who couldn’t stand up to his mother. She said that Bud couldn’t do anything without getting his mother’s approval first. Bud couldn’t do something like going out to dinner with people his mother did not know. According to Emma, Bud’s mother didn’t even trust her own dad, Phill. As Bud was attending college away from home, his mother would have had to have a pretty good grip on her son to have such control over his life.

There was a story about how Bud’s dad wanted to change jobs, but couldn’t because his mother did not agree with the idea.

Emma called Bud’s family a “bunch of crazy liberals.” I have no idea about Bud’s family’s political ideology, but¬ if you know Emma, you know she is politically very conservative.

Emma claimed Bud’s sister hated Emma with a passion! I don’t know much about Bud’s sister, nor do I care to investigate. She is a few years younger than Bud, and in high school was the pretty, popular, cheerleader kind of girl, so I’m just assuming Emma took that as a threat. From what I heard, the two girls didn’t actually spend much time together, so there really w
asn’t any bad blood between the girls. There wasn’t much of a relationship at all. For some reason, Emma needed to be the victim again.

Emma complained that Bud’s family wanted her to convert to Catholicism, but she wasn’t having any of it. On the other side of the coin, I heard that there was no attempt to convert Emma, although she was invited to mass with the family.

At some point, Emma started planning to marry Bud, as in NOW. Again, poor Bud wasn’t informed of his upcoming nuputials, but at the age of 19, Emma was ready to get married. I’m not sure what was going on in Emma’s head. Was this just a little fantasy, or did she really think she could get Bud to marry her? Emma asked one of her dad’s friends if he would give her away. Doesn’t this seem like really odd behavior from a young lady who’s dad would do anything, including destroying his own marriage for Emma. Emma’s dad catered to her every wish, and she wasn’t going to have him walk her down the aisle at her wedding?

When I heard about Emma possibly getting married, I just assumed it was true. I didn’t find out for some time that Bud had no idea about the marriage plans. Maybe this is why Emma didn’t tell her dad she was getting married because she knew she really wasn’t, but in her mind, she could make these things up and tell them to other people and hopefully her stories wouldn’t get back to Bud or his family.

TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Emma’s Shane Co. Commercial

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

My apologies to my readers for not writing much lately. I have been really busy, so I just haven’t had a lot of time to write. I appreciate those of you who are interested in Emma’s story.

I have some more I want to add to the previous post, and hopefully I’ll get to that soon, but I found this old commercial that Emma did, and I wanted to share it. First, I will give you a little background:

Emma was involved in a homeschool arts program called Master’s Academy, where the kids would study a particular period of history for the entire year. The first half of the year, the kids took classes in Art, History, and Music, all relating to whatever time period they were studying (Ancient, Medieval/Renaissance, Baroque, Classical, Romantic, Modern) The second half of the year, the kids took electives which also pertained to the time period.) While studying the Ancient period, Emma’s history teacher gave the kids an assignment to make a commercial for something to do with the Ancient time period.

One afternoon, Emma and I were taking the dogs for a walk, something we did about everyday, and as we were walking up Deer Creek Trail, to the front of the subdivision, I got the idea for the Shane Company commercial. Since I was teaching an electives class on making Egyptian collars, of course I had jewelry on my mind, and we’d heard the recent Shane Company commercial on the radio over and over and over again. I know this is kind of like the parents’ doing the kid’s science project, and I pretty much wrote the commercial, but Emma did perform it, so I don’t feel too badly about doing her homework for her. I just took the current commercial and started inserting a few changes that applied to what Emma had been studying.  (I guess Emma didn’t consider me a Control Freak when I was doing her work for her.  It was only when I acted as her homeschool teacher that she called me that as well as accused me of miromanaging her life.)

As you can see from the video, Emma did a great job performing her commercial, and her teacher loved it! Emma’s commercial was definitely one of the best, and on Parent’s Night, they showed four commercials to the audience, and Emma’s was one of them. I’m posting a link below where you can see the commercial on Youtube.  I love how at the end of the commercial Emma is trying not to laugh.

Emma’s Shane Company Commercial

In the commercial, Emma is wearing an Egyptian Collar that I made. I taught a class in how to make them as one of the electives at Master’s Academy that year.

Emma wore this Egyptian collar that I made when she performed her Shane Company Commercial.

Emma wore this Egyptian collar that I made when she performed her Shane Company Commercial.

Coming up next: Emma’s First Boyfriend

The Girl Who Would Be Me

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com

Emma at Old Rhinebeck Aerodome in Rhinebeck NY, 2006

Emma at Old Rhinebeck Aerodome in Rhinebeck NY, 2006

The NEW Woman of the House (The Girl Who Would Be Me)

Just before and right after being removed from my home, we started what I jokingly called the “Emma Dates Her Dad” period. (And since I get asked this all the time, let me just stay that no, I never thought there was anything incestuous going on between Emma and her dad. Up until Emma figured out how much power she had by claiming to be abused, she was always a mommy’s girl. Phill was always a little envious that Emma always wanted to be with me, wanted to talk to me, to confide in me, etc, but they had a pretty good relationship. Emma frequently made fun of her dad for being a geek, or dorky or whatever, and occasionally I got on to her when she got a little mean, but they got along well.)

While I sat home alone one night, Phill went over to the home of Randall and Cora Andrews, the neighbors who lived behind us, to sit out and drink beer. It was Randall and Cora, John and Judy Hall, whom Emma was staying with that night, and Phill. He told me later that the Hoschton mayor, Erma Denney, who was another neighbor who lived behind us, stopped by. As I knew Erma and had helped her with a rescue dog she had found, I’m sure Phill must have found it a little awkward to explain to the mayor where his wife was.

While I was out of town so Emma could be home for Spring Break, Phill and Emma, in addition to seeing a divorce lawyer, were going out on the town, to the Atlanta Aquarium, out to eat, to movies, etc. Just a fun family stay-cation for the abused child while Emma was on Spring Break. As I mentioned earlier, I was hurt when I found out they went to the Aquarium as we had talked about doing that as a family.

Emma began posting things on her facebook about all the chores she was doing at home (essentially my chores). In one post she bragged about how quickly she got the dishes out of the dishwasher and put them away. This was kind of funny because Emma could take 30-40 minutes to put the dishes away. One day, out of curiosity, I timed myself and told Emma that it took me 7 ½ minutes to casually put the dishes away, so there was no reason for her to take so long. Of course, when Emma made her facebook post, her time was under 7 minutes. As much as she hated me, she WAS me!

Emma bragged about taking care of the dogs and the guinea pig and posted something about all the furry creatures fed and taken care of.

Emma wrote about the first time she played piano for our new church, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga. I was heartbroken that I was not there to hear her. I guess that was my payback for all those years of driving her to piano lessons!

She also posted a picture of her on a swing at church, looking up at the sky, and said something about how bigger churches may have all this stuff, but our church had a swing. That one was a little odd, but she looked pretty and sweet, like a good Christian girl looking towards the heavens.

Phill wrote about going out to a bar or restaurant where one of his RC buddies played in a band and posted a picture of Emma standing there listening to the music. I remember his comment, “A good time was had by all.” At the time, I wondered if that was deliberately to try and hurt me, an attempt to show how much fun he and his daughter were having without the evil mom.

Phill also took Emma white water rafting and posted the pictures on facebook. Again, this was something I had talked about doing with the church youth group, and I was heartbroken not to go with my family.
Phill let Emma skip a week of school to go with him to SEFF (Southeastern Electric Flight Festival) in Americus, Ga. After all, with all the pressure of being an abused child, she needed a little vacation.

Emma posted about going out to dinner and eating steak with other UPS drivers and their wives that we we occasionally met for dinner: Randall and Cora Andrews, Tim and Elizabeth Hince, Carl and Connie Lehman, Tommy and Dennise Thompson, Kevin and Jocelyn O’Gorman.

Phill had not wanted Emma to get her driver’s license until she was 18, but with the evil mother out of the house, he needed her to be able to get to school, so he reversed his decision on this and let Emma get her license and bought her a car. When she totaled that car, he bought her another, and I heard from a neighbor that Emma totaled the 2nd car, too.

Once Emma had her driver’s license, she posted on facebook about her trips to the grocery store.

So many of Emma’s posts about all the chores she was doing were kind of humorous. Emma was the child who could take 3 hours to do a 5 minute chore, but now that she was running the household, it was different!

I’m not sure how Facebook works, but in the relationship section, where you have your husband, sisters, daughter, etc., next to Emma on my Facebook, it said “Pending,” so I guess that is what you do when you remove a relationship.

Emma then removed me as well as my sister and her to girls (Emma’s cousins) from her Facebook and blocked all of us so that we could not see anything she did. As one of my nieces put it, “It is her loss.”

In June, we had a trip planned with my sister and one of my nieces who was coming from CO. Emma was really looking forward to rooming with her cousin, but it ended up being me, my sister, and my neice who went on the trip, as Emma did not go.

After Emma removed me, I removed Phill from my Facebook. It was all just too painful.

During that summer of 2011, I went up and stayed with my sister and brother-in-law in Ct. for a couple of months. They were a lot of support while the divorce was going on. Somewhere in there, I got copies of all the e-mails Emma sent to “Lacey.” And I let Phill know. I expected Emma to ‘fess up, knowing that I had a stack of lies that she’d written, and that my attorney was talking to “Lacey’s” parents about Emma’s claim that “Lacey” was raped and had attempted suicide. Phill took Emma up to visit his mother in Brick, New Jersey, and I half expected him to show up and apologize, but to this day, Phill has no answer as to why Emma claimed “Lacey” was raped and attempted suicide. I’ve pointed out all the other lies Emma told such as “Lacey’s” mother in the hospital, with breast cancer, Emma accusing me of poisoning her with DDT, Emma’s story about babysitting the priest’s two boys and having to call 911 when the older son got out of control, Emma’s story about being drug searched at school, etc., etc., etc., and Phill refuses to talk about Emma with me. I am not allowed to call, as he will not speak to me. He threatens to block my e-mails or texts if I contact him about anything other than the alimony being late (which it is frequently) or picking up my things (which he still has).

In 2012, one of Phill’s friends sent me some photos just to let me know what was going on. Unfortunately, I looked at them and deleted them. Of course, now I wish I’d saved them, but oh, well!

Sometime, in 2012, Phill was confirmed at Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga., by Father George Ivey and there was a nice picture of Phill kneeling at the altar. Emma was about 12 when Phill was baptized by the priest that Emma would later accuse of sexually molestation. She had really hounded Phill about getting baptized. It was more important to her than it was to him. I’m guessing that she hounded him about getting confirmed as well.

I’ve occasionally wondered what Emma’s collection of therapists would say about Emma accusing the priest who baptized her dad of sexual molestation. Emma wanted her dad baptized so badly, and yet she accuses the priest of a crime. It seems like a decent psychologist might have something interesting to say about all that. (Dr. Richard Born (Allied Psychological Health, Athens, Ga.), Dr. Genie Burnett (Manna Treatment, Duluth, Ga.), Suzie McGarvey (Lanier Counseling, now with North Gwinnett Counseling Associates) , Rachel Hutchinson, Emily Kirby, Candace Whitman, Tamesha (Social Empowerment Center, Lawrenceville, Ga.) Heather Thompson (Jefferson High School), etc., etc.

Also in 2012, Emma threw her Dad a surprise birthday party. Since there was a picture of her and her friend, Abbey Benito, in with the party pictures at our home, I’m assuming Abbey helped Emma with the party.

Abbey Benito was a friend of Emma’s from the homeschool arts program that we were involved in. She was in Emma’s class and a lovely girl. Abbey was tall, quiet, well-behaved, and quite an artist who almost always had a sketch pad in her hand. I remember Abbey’s mom, Donna Benito, telling me that ever since she was little, Abbey liked to draw and it was something she did all the time. One semester, I worked as an assistant to one of the art teachers, and Abbey was in one of the drawing classes. I always enjoyed seeing her work. I think between her gift and all her years of practice, she was such a talented artist and now attends Anderson University in Anderson, S.C.

When I started teaching at the arts program, my first class was a Wire Jewelry class. I had never taught a class like this before, and working with kids was challenging, but I really enjoyed it. I felt like I learned as much from the kids as they did from me. Abbey was in my very first class, but she did not do well at it. Wire Jewlery can take a little time to get the hang of, and I don’t think Abbey got it as first. There was another young lady who had a difficult time, but this girl stuck with it and ended up taking pretty much all my classes and doing very, very well.

Unfortunately, I may have neglected Abbey a little bit. It was my first time teaching, and it was difficult with the kids constantly calling out and asking me for help. Abbey was so quiet and never asked for help, so I had to make an effort to check on her as she struggled in class. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and I felt like I probably did not give Abbey enough attention. Later on, Emma seemed to enjoy telling me that Abbey did not like my class. Emma did not mind when I worked as an aid at the program, but when the director asked me about teaching, Emma was not happy with me. I think she got jealous that the kids liked me, I was the “cool” teacher, my class was fun etc. I felt very blessed to be teaching a class the kids did NOT have to take. The kids that took my class were there because they wanted to be there. At first, it was only girls, but later on, I got a few boys, too. The very first time I had a young man sign up for my class, it was a young man who had a friend in one of my classes, and he often stopped by the class room. One day, he asked if he could sit in on a class with his friend, and I told him if he was going to do that, he was going to work, and I had him start a project. Later on, I teased him that he signed up for my class just because he didn’t want to take what else was offered that period, and he told me that no, he thought my class was fun. He ended up doing being a very good student and did some fine work.

I enjoyed being the “fun” teacher, and at the end of the semester, we had “Parent’s Night” where we displayed the kids’ work for all the parents to see. The director of the arts program was always pleased with the work my kids turned out, and I was very happy with my job. I worked there for 7 years, and I am sad to say that because of Emma, I will never work with children again. During the divorce and while I was working on going back to work, I wanted to volunteer with kids. I remembered how much Emma loved reading, and I always wanted to do something like tutor kids who needed help with reading. There’s just something magical about seeing a kid who discovers reading. I am sad to say, that due to the fact that my daughter has accused me of abuse, I will NEVER volunteer with children ever again.

One day, I came home and sat down to eat with Phill and Emma and was telling them something one of the kids had said about how much they liked my class, and Emma just looked at me and said, “Mom, they hate their own mothers too.”

Just a side note, when Emma first accused me of abuse , somehow, word got to the director of the arts program, and when we started back to classes in Jan. , the director took me aside to tell me she’d heard about Emma’s accusation. I’m just assuming that Sandra Brooks McCravy (who had taken her boys out of the arts program because she was unhappy there) had told a mutual acquaintance, probably our friend Rita Carlton who also worked at the arts program, and I’m assuming that Rita told the director.

The director of the arts program told me that because of Emma accusing me of child abuse, I would have to have someone else, another adult, in my class to supervise me. I guess to make sure I didn’t go postal and kill the kids in my class. It was Donna Benito who came in to “babysit” me that first week back. After that, I guess the director decided I didn’t need a sitter, and although it was embarrassing and humiliating, I got through it.

Anyway, back to Phill’s birthday party. Phill’s birthday is March 21st, but if I remember right, the part was on March 18, 2012. That would have been a Sunday. I guess the party could have been on March 17. That’s neither here nor there.

The party was a small gathering with Emma and Abbey Benito. John and Judy Hall were there, as well as Phill’s UPS partner Carl Lehmann and his wife, Connie, and one of Phill’s RC buddies, but I can’t remember his name.

Emma had gotten Phill an Angry Birds cake for his birthday, and I wasn’t surprised, as he was always into video games. It was cute.

It was March 14th, 2011, when Emma wanted to leave the family and go live in a group home, and everything went to pieces. Phill’s birthday for 2011 kind of go overlooked with all the Emma drama, but I wondered if Emma got Phill one of the gifts I’d planned on giving him. We’d been out in Jefferson, Ga., and saw some windsocks outside a local store. There was a really cute one of a red bi-plane, and I had planned on getting that for Phill because of his RC plane obsession, but with all the Emma drama, I never got back there.

Anyway, those are just some examples of Emma’s new life being the Alpha Female in charge of the house hold. I am out of time tonight dear readers, and will reread and edit when I have some time, but I was just trying to get some thoughts down.

Coming up next, I want to write about Emma’s first boyfriend and her move to Ohio!

As always, please contact me if you have any questions: losingemma@gmail.com

The Rewards of Being a Victim

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” Both of these posts give a brief description of what happened. As Emma’s mom, I am blogging my experiences with Emma and the things she did/does. This is a child who made up a story about rape, accused a priest of molesting her, and then as her attorney was about to file a lawsuit against the priest and the church, Emma accused her mother of physical abuse to stop the lawsuit because she knew her lies were about to be discovered. Emma claims to have the TOXICOLOGY REPORT to prove that her mother poisoned her with DDT and that she had to move to get away from her mother. (My attorney has been waiting for months for over a year for that that toxicology report.) Emma was recently living with her boyfriend’s family in Ohio, but came back to Ga. when the boyfriend began to have doubts about Emma and broke off their relationship. As long as my daughter is accusing me of child abuse and attempted murder, I will continue to tell her story.

The Rewards of Being a Victim

Before Phill took out the Temporary Protective Order, to have me removed from my home, we had to come up with places for Emma to stay. After all, she wanted to go live in a group home. My thought was that she needed to live in a group home and to see what it’s like for kids who didn’t have it as good as she did. Let her meet kids who really were abused or who came from bad situations. Emma’s life would look like the life of a princess compared to some of these kids. She had two parents who loved her and she was allowed to do almost anything she wanted (within reason). She never lacked for food, clothes, or a warm bed. Of course once, when Emma and I got into an argument over something she wanted (I can’t remember what it was now.) and she didn’t get her way, she got angry and screamed at me, “YOU HAD ME! YOU OWE ME!” At the time, I thought it was a pretty ugly thing to say, but we all say things we don’t mean in anger. Emma said a lot of ugly things over the years, but for some reason, this one stuck with me probably more than any other. It sort of haunted me, and it still does. I’m sad to say that I really felt like this was in insight into Emma’s world. Emma felt like we owed her.

When Emma stayed with friends and neighbors, she got treated like a beloved guest with dinners, plays, clothes, trips to the beauty shop, etc. After all, who wouldn’t want to do something nice for a poor abused child who was beaten and poisoned by her mother? Emma made out like a bandit. I will share about some of the people Emma stayed with, and how Emma took advantage. I’m sure I only know a few of the rewards Emma collected. There’s probably a lot more that I don’t know.

From what Phill told me, Emma mostly stayed with our neighbors, John and Judy Hall, but she also stayed with some other neighbors, Randall and Cora Andrews, and one of Phill’s RC plane buddies and his wife, Mike and Wendy Timms who lived not far from us in Hoschton, but now live in Dacula, Ga. Since Emma didn’t want to see me, I didn’t always know where she was. Phill just told me what he wanted to.

John and Judy Hall probably have the most interesting story of all the people Emma stayed with. Everything I am sharing here is what Phill told me, so I don’t know what is true and what is not. I didn’t really know the Halls well, only talking to them occasionally if we ran into them when we were out taking a walk. One day, Judy herself did tell me some things about her grandchildren and her ex-son-in-law, but everything else I heard from Phill.

Phill met the Halls when our neighbors recommended him to help them with their computer. Those of you that know Phill know what a computer geek his is, and he is very talented at building, working on, and pretty much anything to do with computers. It used to be his main interest until he got back into RC planes. The Hall’s daughter, Jina, was married to a race car driver named Buckshot Jones and going through a divorce. Phill ended up doing a lot of computer work for the Halls and much of it had to do with Jina’s divorce. Several times he told me he had to “wipe out” their hard drive in case they were subpoenaed during the divorce. I never asked what kind of things they were trying to hide, but there must have been something they thought would be incriminating on their computer.  The Halls appreciated that Phill would drop everything and go work on their computer whenever they called and they paid him well.  Phill joked that the Halls knew how to treat him when he came over.  If it was in the morning, they fixed him a cup of coffee when he walked in, and if it was after noon or later, they always handed him a beer when he walked in.

For a while, Jina and the boys lived with John and Judy, and they had some sort of strange arrangement where she got the boys from 6am to 6pm, and then their dad got the boys from 6pm to 6am. It sounded really odd to me that their dad would only have the boys for a couple of hours before they went to bed every night, and then have to get them up so early to give them back to their mom? It was really the strangest custody agreement I’d ever heard of. The boys were little then, and it made no sense to me to be putting them through that.
Phill said that Buckshot Jones came from a very wealthy Gwinnett County family, and his grandfather was a judge or something high up in the Gwinnett County government. He told me that Jina received $10,000 a month in temporary support from her husband. I remember Phill and I talking about it, and we were both kind of astounded that someone could receive that much money, but I have no doubt some race car drivers do really well.

Over the course of the divorce, there were a lot of ugly things that Phill would come home and tell me. Jina moved out and bought a home, but then the home was foreclosed on when Buckshot didn’t pay the support he owed, so Jina couldn’t pay her mortgage.

Jina had a beautiful giant schnauzer that the couple fought over, and Buckshot eventually won custody of the dog. Phill said as soon as he got the dog, he got rid of it, and Jina and the boys were heartbroken. Judy and John had two miniature schnauzers, and they bought the boys a Jack Rusell because one day they said that was what they wanted. If you know anything about Jack Russells, they are not a breed for everybody, and from what Phill told me later, the Halls regretted getting the dog because after a couple of days, the boys were no longer interested in it, and they were stuck with it.

Phill told me at one point, Jina had a video tape of something incriminating about Buckshot, but some friends of hers stole it. I could not imagine friends doing this, and when I asked about it, Phill said that the Halls believed the friends were paid off by Buckshot’s family to steal the video.

Judy and John were not allowed to discipline their grandchildren because if it got back to Buckshot, he would not let the Halls have visits with the boys. Phil told me the boys behaved horribly and called John and Judy all sorts of horrible names. At one point, he said one of the boys stole Judy’s cell phone to give it to their dad who was trying to get some information from it. He also said they Judy complained that Buckshot sat in bed and watched porn on his computer with the boys present.

At one point, Phill told me that the Halls were thinking of selling their house because of all the money they’d spent on their daughter’s legal bills.

Much later, I think well after the divorce was final, Emma and I were walking our dogs around the block. We were in front of the Hall’s home, when Judy pulled up and got out of her car to check the mailbox. We spoke for a few minutes, and she asked about how Emma was doing, school, etc. I may have asked how her grandsons were doing in school, and I think at that point the older one was in 2nd grade and the younger one was in kindergarten. Judy got to talking about her grandsons and I could tell it made her very sad. She told me that their dad wouldn’t get out of bed to get them to school, so they had missed twenty-something days of school already and were likely to be held back a grade. Phill had told me that Jina volunteered at the school, so she could be around her kids and try to help them, but often she’d be there and the boys were not. It was all very sad.

Judy worked part time for salon in Brasleton, and the one time I got to see Emma, sitting in the van, she’d had her hair done. Since about 9th grade, Emma frequently used a straight iron on her hair, and it was very straight, cut in layers and looked very pretty. Phill told me that Emma had wanted to get her hair cut, but I wouldn’t let her. Well, as you can see from this photo, that’s not true.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy at a taping of the Sean Hannity Show.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy at a taping of the Sean Hannity Show.

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Judy was a petite lady, but because of some health problems, she put on some weight, and she gave Emma a bunch of clothes. Emma always was a clothes horse, so from what Phill told me, she was thrilled about that.

At first, the Hall’s were driving Emma to school, and I think Phill was paying them to at least cover gas money. Emma had a permit, but Phill did not want Emma to get her driver’s license until she was 18. Funny thing was, once he got rid of his wife, he let Emma go ahead and get her license so she could drive herself. From what some of the neighbors told me, she then totaled two cars and she may have gotten a ticket in New Jersey. She had failed the test for her permit the first time, so I’ve often wondered how she did on her driver’s test. With her dad being a truck driver, you’d think she would have had plenty of lessons, but I missed this milestone in my daughter’s life, so I really don’t know how she did on the driving test.

When John and Judy went out of town, Emma stayed with our neighbors, Cora and Randall Andrews who lived behind us, and across the street from Judy and John Hall. Randall worked with Phill at UPS and was the union steward until he fell on the job and if I remember right, damaged both rotator cuffs. Randall was a hard worker, and when he wasn’t at UPS, he did tractor work on the side. After winning a settlement with UPS, Randall became a truck driving instructor. Since his wife was a teacher, he liked to joke that they were both teachers. Cora stayed home with the kids when they were little and then went back to teaching P.E. and also went back to school to get her Ph.D. in P.E. She then became a coach at Jackson County Commprehensive High School.

Phill was a big help to Cora when she was working on her Ph.D. He helped her with computer work, and Cora even thanked him in her dissertation. Phill got a kick out of that she mentioned him, but didn’t even mention her husband in her acknowledgement.

Randall and Cora had two boys who Emma played with when she was little, but once the kids started school, they didn’t see much of each other. When the kids were little, we helped each other out, occasionally watching each other’s kids. Phill and I even kept the boys when Randall had a heart attack and was in the hospital.

When Emma started high school at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she never had anything nice to say about her former playmates. She claimed they always looked high or looked to be on something at school. Knowing how involved the boys were in school, and how involved their parents were, I didn’t believe this for a minute. I’m sure they boys weren’t perfect angels, but they both were very involved in sports and other school activities. Since Emma claimed she often saw them looking this way in the morning when she went to school, I suspected they might have been sleepy because it was early in the morning and with sports and homework, they were probably short on sleep. Emma went on and on about them and I remember at one point she tried to convince me that the younger son had a reputation for partying and using drugs. Both of these boys went on to college, and the younger son turned down an appointment to West Point to go to UGA and even got some scholarship money.

Emma also talked about Cora (Dr. Andrews) when she went to JCCHS. Emma had a coach named Coach Beaver for P.E. and Freshman Focus class. Coach Beaver, according to Emma, also moonlighted as a cop in Statham, Ga., and would tell the kids about all the drug problems in Statham.

According to Emma, Coach Beaver and Dr. Andrews had some sort of rivalray. Emma claimed that one time, in P.E. class, Dr. Andrews walked through the gym and told Emma to put some nets or something away when they were done. She said when they finished, she started putting the nets away and Coach Beaver yelled at Emma and asked her what she was doing. When she stated that Dr. Andrews had asked her to put the nets away, Emma said Coach Beaver told her to leave the nets where they were and if Dr. Andrews wanted the nets put away, she could do it herself. Did this really happen? I never asked neither Cora, nor Coach Beaver, but I’m guessing probably not, just like I’m guessing that Coach Beaver didn’t moonlight as a policeman.

Since I’m on the topic of Coach Beaver, I will mention a couple of other funny things Emma said about Coach Beaver. She claimed that Coach Beaver and her political science teacher (I can’t remember his name.) lived across the street from each other. This was during the 2008 election. Emma claimed that Coach Beaver was a conservative and her political science teacher was a liberal, so they both tried to out-do each other with signs in their yards for their particular candidate. Hmmm. I wonder what the odds are of these two teachers living across from each other and being political rivals ?

While staying with the Andrews, Emma went got to go see a play at her old high school under her favorite teacher, Bonnie Roberts, who was the drama teacher. (I will have another whole essay to write about Emma’s experience being in Drama at JCCHS, including confirmation from Ms. Roberts as to some of the lies Emma told about Drama.)

Emma also stayed at the home of Mike and Wendy Timms, one of Phill’s RC plane buddies. I might have met Mike at an RC event, but I’m not sure. Mike and Wendy have to daughter a few years younger than Emma, and one of them shares Emma’s name. They also had the fact that the girls were home schooled in common. I know the Timms family often went to the week-long RC event, SEFF, down in Americus, Ga. because Phill and Emma both talked about them being there.

Emma spent a weekend at the Timms’ home when they still lived in Hoschton. With the Timms family, Emma went out to eat Mexican food, and went to see a play that her latest crush, Johnathan McCravy, happened to have a role in. I think she also went to church that Sunday with the family. If I remember right, they went out for Mexican after church.

After I was removed from my home, Emma also spent some time with her friend Kayla Benifield Weaver, at the home of Kayla’s mom and stepdad, Sheree and Jeff Barwise, not far from home. Anytime Emma went to Kayla’s they ate out a lot because Emma claimed that Sheree didn’t cook, and I have a cute picture of a group of them going bowling.

This victim thing really paid off for Emma. She was treated like a guest everywhere she went (No chores!) and there were so many wonderful fringe benefits like meals out, plays, clothes, shopping, etc. It’s tough being a victim.

Coming up next…………………………………..The NEW Woman of the House!  (OR, The Girl Who Would Be Me)