Letters to “Lacey” Part 14

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

(There is a large gap between Emma’s letters from June to September. I do not know if Emma was hand writing instead of e-mail. At some point, the girls began texting a lot and quit writing, but that may have been later. Over the summer of 2009, Emma went on a mission trip with Eternal Hope of Haiti. I don’t remember how many were on the trip, but it was a small group: the director (a Nurse Practitioner) and her husband who lived in our neighborhood, another NP who was a neighbor, two college aged girls named Brandi, who I think was a medical assistant, and Leah Jung, a future medical student at Emory University. Emma roomed with Brandi and Leah, and while she liked Leah, she had nothing nice to say about Brandi. That summer, Emma also went with her church youth group to Cherokee, N.C., and Phill went along as a chaperone. On the last day, my sister had come down from CT., so we drove up to Cherokee for the events, and a friend from church rode with us.)

Emma (front and center) and some of the kids from her church youth group.  Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma (front and center) and some of the kids from her church youth group, as well as Phill, and Ms. Karen (green sweater) who was the youth group leader. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Sept 7, 2009

Emma says hello from her lonely house sitting self. Emma says she is probably going home today and that she did get out yesterday (Sunday) so that was nice. Emma talks about church and how Jordan was serving, and after she’d disrobed she joined Emma downstairs in the parish hall with the distraught announcement, “That cute guy I was watching during the sermon is gone!” Emma says she tries to listen to the sermon, but Jordan fantasizes about guys that don’t know she exists. Sigh. She can’t change her but has to love her for what she is… “That guy” says Emma is actually Loydon, the little brother of a girl who graduated the previous year. Emma says she doesn’t know anything about him and neither does Jordan, but that doesn’t stop her from deciding she’s in love with him.

Sunday afternoon, Emma went over to Jordan’s house, since she did not live far from where Emma was housesitting. Emma says it was that or have her mom come get her for the youth group meeting and then have to stay through it. Emma doesn’t like it when her “rents” come because it’s the one bit of time she has without them hovering over her. Plus she enjoys hanging out with Jordan…sometimes. “I mean I love her, but she worries me.” Says Emma about Jordan. Also being with Jord for the afternoon gives Jordan time to formulate her scheme for Emma’s life so she was really glad that Evan was not there that night. Emma says Jordan’s current genius plan is to tell Evan to ask Emma out and for Emma to tell Loydon to ask Jordan out. Apparently, Emma is not to say, “Hi, you’ve never seen me before, but my best friend that you don’t even know exists wants you to ask her out.” That is not a conversation Emma is willing to have. She has told Jordan a million times that she’s not allowed to advise Emma or Evan about what to do with their lives, but somehow that hasn’t sunk in yet. Case in point, Emma walks out of the bathroom to see Jordan facing away from her, bent over something. Jordan’s little brother Kyle walks over to Emma and says, “I don’t know what you’re doing. But I’m pretty sure you’re in trouble. She went through your purse.” That is all Emma needs to know, that is how well Emma knows Jordan. Emma goes to Jordan and tells her to give her her cell phone. Now. She says that she can see her fingers and she knows where the send button is and that if Jordan touches it, her Itouch will magically disappear. Jordan snaps the phone closed and hands it back to Emma. Emma says that Jordan doesn’t know it, but Emma’s phone saves all unsent text messages in a Drafts folder, so she wasn’t surprised (but you should have seen Jordan’s face!) when her phone’s automated voice announced sweetly, “You have an unsent message to…….Evan………..Br……would you like to send it now?” “Hmmmm,” Emma says she doesn’t remember texting Evan. Let’s see what the message says, Jordan. Come here, don’t you want to see? It’s a mystery………

…Emma tells Jordan she needs to work on her impersonating skills, dear. Jordan wrote “ily” and Emma doesn’t type like that, she types things out. Emma says it is easier to make a joke that to blow up at Jordan although she does deserve it. Jordan says, “Ok! Fix it and send it.” But Emma tells her she is not silly enough to think she would do that. Give it up Jordan. Not going to work. Nice try.

Emma said they had the girls at the youth group, Emma, Jordan, Alex, and Ari, and ended up messing around and playing Apples to Apples. Jordan kept getting cards and complaining she didn’t know who the people were. She would show Emma her hand, so Emma would try to help with the fairly obvious ones. “Eleanor Roosevelt. Think Jord. Doesn’t Roosevelt sound familiar?” “Oooh, I know! There was the tv show about the black guy!” At this poing Ms. Karen and Ms. Shanna (the youth group leaders) are sitting there as so many people do, silently blaming Emma for Jordan’s general Jordan-ness.“

Later, Emma got a card she couldn’t resist teasing Jordan with. The card said, “Prince Charming”, but of course it had to backfire when Ms. Karen said, “No, but you do.” (Referring to Emma’s prince—Evan.) So Emma replied innocently, “How would I know who Jordan’s prince charming is?” And to make things even better, Emma complains, her mom has to give her advice on the whole situation. She actually wants to go along with Jordan, can you believe that??? This past year she’s gone from being psycho-overprotective-my-daughter-can’t-date-til-she’s-thirty-mom to being Emma-and-Evan-are-getting-married-isn’t-this-great-mom. Emma says she doesn’t know which mom she prefers as they both drive her crazy, and her dad continues to stick to his one request, “I don’t care what you do, but please don’t get pregnant.” So, in a nutshell, Emma says she has no one sane to talk to at home. She is hoping “Lacey” can come visit at Christmas break. Sheesh. Sometimes she thinks she will write a soap opera based on her life!

(Well, I did enjoy seeing Emma have a little bit of a social life and a little fun, but no, I wasn’t doing any wedding planning, and she never told me about Jordan’s plan, so I didn’t give her any advice on that one. And no, “Lacey” never came to visit.)

Emma mentions talking to Evan on the phone the night before. She says that is the irony: that Jordan takes one look at a guy and decides she loves him and he loves her back and that is all there is to it. Emma has known Evan for years and despite what everyone else says and thinks, she doesn’t know whether to think he likes her or not…or what it means if he does. High School: the best years of your life. Ha. They’re also the most painful, the most complicated, the hardest…all Emma can think about is that it would be her worst nightmare if she and Evan started dating and ended up like Jordan and Rob after they broke up. Emma doesn’t think she is mature enough for a “good” break up. She cries when flower wilt. She cries at midnight in her room when no one can hear her, but still. Anyway, thanks for listening, Emma says, and being sympathetic to her totally melodramatic life. Love ya!! Write Soon! Emma-Kate

Letters to “Lacey” Part 13: The Great Iris Folding Escapade!

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma watches tv with one of our dogs and a foster dog.    Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma watches tv with one of our dogs and a foster dog. Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

May 31, 2009 Four days after the last letter, Emma starts another. She tells “Lacey” that she didn’t have time to write yesterday. She volunteered at PetsMart and then went to church. She says she ran into C. (the neighbor girl Emma accused of drug use, being promiscuous, and of having an abortion and possibly a 2nd pregnancy) and C. really ticked Emma off. Emma knew they were having a party at K’s house (a couple of houses down from our home one Buck Trail in Hoschton) and there was no way Emma was going because she was sure that illegal things were going on, and she didn’t want to hear them and deal with the pressure and backstabbing. Emma says she knows she could resist temptation if she wanted to, but she hates, but is no supposed to because that’s not Christian. She does not like those girls at all, so it’s not worth bothering. C. wanted to know why Emma couldn’t come to the party, so Emma said she was going to do some things with our church to get ready for an event tomorrow, and C. said, “Oh, I’m sorry.” In a really snobby tone. Emma says she told C. off and that she is so tired of C. making fun of her religion and of “Jesus Freaks.” One of their favorite saying sis “I’m ok with Jesus, I just hate his fan club.” That totally gets Emma because her faith is a huge part of her life, and the girls are rubbing their disapproval in her face. That is totally inappropriate, Emma complains! Emma says this is just one of the many things that proves C. is not the person she thinks she is. Emma says that C. claims to be nonjudgmental. Emma says she honestly just wishes she’d never met C. in the first place and that for some weird reason, C. thinks she is Emma’s best friend. This is not true because Emma doesn’t trust her and never will!

Emma goes on to talk about going to the church to help set up for the Spaghetti Lunch, and then talks about church the next day and then the Spaghetti lunch that followed. Emma was annoyed because a lot of people did not attend the lunch and because they were shorthanded. Emma goes on to say she was talking to Evan (one of the members of the youth group) about pianos and how Evan told her his piano was from the 1880s and was a family heirloom. Emma said she then asked me( her mother) how old our piano was and said that I told her I bought it at a yard sale and complains that I keep saying that when she gets better we would get a new one—“ya, like when I’m in Florida in college….” She complains that there is no rich history to our piano and about the piano being a piece of junk.

(Ok, I have not checked into the story of Evan’s “heirloom” piano. What is it with Emma and “heirlooms?” I sort of doubt this story is true from what I know of Evan’s family, BUT our piano did not come from yard sale. It was an old piano given to me by a friend who no longer wanted it. Yes, it was a piece of junk, and yes it was just fine for Emma to learn on. Emma started piano in kindergarten, but after a few years of lessons, it was such a battle to get her to practice, so we quit. I think it was the summer before she started high school that she started again. Emma was never very serious about piano. She enjoyed the attention she got when she could play church hymms, songs from Phamtom of the Opera and Les Miserables, but she was never a serious music student. It was never my desire to turn her into a musician, but just to maybe give her a little appreciation for music. Had she been serious about it, Phill and I would have definitely encouraged her, but she really liked to play around and have fun, and that was fine too. I’ve been around enough to know that you can’t push kids in to music. I’d seen what Sandra Brooks McCravy went through with her boys. Her parents were very generous to pay for expensive piano lessons, and Derek was very serious about piano, but Johnathan wasn’t. Johnathan played because he was forced to, and eventually he quit and took guitar lessons. Derek played beautiful classical piano and even won a couple hundred dollars  in a small scholarship competition. )

Emma complains about cleaning up after the spaghetti lunch that she and one of the younger girls were taking down decorations while some of the other kids (Rob, Nick, Jordan Ari) sat around talking and how she had to go over and tell them that they needed to help. Emma said it’s like she doesn’t want to be seen as controlling…..but the least they can do is help, and how her feet were killing her too, but she did what needed to be done anyway! Emma tells “Lacey” that she was also depressed that Jordan had a party and Ari and Rob were there, but she was not invited, and her mom immediately says, “Did you feel left out?” Emma says it made her realize that in all the times they’ve been friends, “upwards of a decade”, Jordan has never once invited Emma anywhere with her. Emma has had her over and done things with her, but she has never reciprocated. Emma considers Jordan a friend, but does not think Jordan thinks the same about her. In fact, she doesn’t. Emma knows and has known this for a wile, but this was just a blatant slap in the face to tell her this is the way things are and she needs to accept them. So that is her depression in a nutshell.

(Well, I don’t remember what I said, but I know I would have not said, “Do you feel left out?” upon finding my daughter was not invited to a party. I don’t practice that feely-mealy kind of speech. I probably said, “I’m sorry.” I really don’t remember at this point, although I do remember Emma telling me that Jordan had a party and she was not invited. Also, at that point, I think we’d known Jordan’s family for about 5 or so years, not upwards of a decade. I don’t remember exactly, but I think we joined the church when Emma was in 2nd grade. Jordan and her family came some time after we did and then left the church for a couple of years and then returned.)

June 2, 2009

Emma talks about us going to see the movie up with some passes our neighbors gave us for Christmas, and says it is a big deal for us because we only go to a movie maybe once a year, and the only reason we were going was because the were going to expire.

(I don’t recall if the passes were going to expire or not. I’ve received several movie passes as gifts, and I’ve never had any that had expiration dates on them, so this could be a fabrication, but it’s true that we didn’t go to movies very often. We preferred to wait until movies came out on video and we watched them at home.)

Emma tells “Lacey” about delivering flyer in the neighborhood for her pet sitting service.

(Emma had a homeschool assignment to make a flyer, so I suggested pet sitting since that was something she could do to earn some money. She did a great job and earned over $300 just before she went on the mission trip with Eternal Hope of Haiti.)

Emma says that the song, “After the World” by Disciple is stuck in her head right now…

You break the glass

Try to hide your face Recorded lines

That just will not erase

And buried in Your loss of innocence

You wonder if You’ll find it again

Emma says she doen’t even have a particular meaning or connection to this one, it just keeps playing through her head with no signs of impending relief. Oh well, it’s not nearly as bad as some of the stuff Jordan’s had stuck in her head….it’s like a reflex, comparing herself to Jordan. She can’t help it. So many memories….ok, trying not to get depressed…totally not working….*sigh*. Emma says she doesn’t know where she would be without “Lacey”. Jordan is gone and kayla is in Toccoa or France (and totally inaccessible regardless). Facebook is normally an encouragement, but she’s looking at her profile and “Emma has 42 friends”, oh ya right. Emma talks about receiving a friend request from a boy she knew when she attended George Walton Academy in Monroe, Ga. She remembers how in kindergarten, he was that boy Ms. McPheeters could never wake up from rest time. Emma talks about her fish Zorro and says she worries that her parents might let him starve while she is gone. She says everyone would think she was crazy or she’d beg to bring him on the mission trip with the youth group, but she doubts the youth group leader would go for that. Poor Fishie.

(Phill and I always took pretty good care of our pets, so I think this “Poor Fishie” is just idle chatter. Emma needed something to say. I can’t imagine Emma actually believed we would not take care of her fish while she was gone. As any parent knows, when a child has a pet, it’s the parents who are the ones to care for it.) ############################################################################################################################################################ Now for one of my favorite parts:

The iris folding card Emma and I made.  Apparently, I did pretty good for a crippled old arthritic mother!  Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

The iris folding cards Emma and I made. Apparently, I did pretty good for a crippled old arthritic mother! Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

irisfold2 Emma talks about teaching her mom iris folding like she used on the card she’d recently sent to “Lacey”. Emma says she loves her mom, but it is sooooo hard to teach her because she has arthritis in her hands and is sooo slow. It’s like she could do this ten times faster and not waste half the material she does, but it’s really important for her to do it herself. And on top of that, she gets angry when Emma tries to keep her from making mistakes. She wants to do it her way, but she will get really frustrated when hers don’t turn out as nicely as Emma’s do because she refuses to take Emma’s advice , which she gives in a very respectful tone that still get labeled “smart-a**”). It gets Emma so frustrated because it’s not even fun for her anymore, and what’s worse is when her mother wants to help with Emma’s projects, but she invariabley ruins them!! So Emma tries to work on things when she’s not home.

(I have to admit, when I first read this story about the iris folding, I was very hurt. Here it is a few years down the road and it’s no longer painful, but it’s funny in a pathetic sort of way. An imaginary twist of events from a sick mind. A few years before, I’d taken Emma to Michael’s on a Saturday for one of their $2 kid’s projects. They were doing Iris folding cards, and Emma made one. I think it was a Thanksgiving turkey if I remember correctly. She really enjoyed it, so later on we got her supplies and she started making these cards. She really enjoyed it and we bought more and more supplies for her. She had a ton of card making supplies. For those of you who may not know what Iris Folding is, it is simply folding strips of paper and laying them down, overlapping. It is quite simple to do. I always enjoyed seeing what Emma made, and said one day I’d like to try it with her. Emma was anxious to teach me, so when my niece was expecting her 2nd baby, and we found out it was a boy, we decided to sit down and make some cards. Emma wanted to make a baby boy card, and I just wanted to give it a try. I’d taught Emma so many things over the years, especially with my beadwork, she seemed to really enjoy teaching me her hobby. We had a lovely afternoon sitting, chatting, and working on our cards. It is still a sweet memory of some mother-daughter time. Funny how my memories of that day differ so widely from Emma’s, but then I’m the one Emma accuses of “blocking things out.” Uh, ok. I also find it pathetic that Emma that Emma claims I wanted to help her with her projects. Of course, since we homeschooled, I had to be in charge of school, but once we were done with that, Emma was on her own with her little arts and crafts. If she asked me for help, I certainly would, but as a homeschooling mom who spent at least 40 hours a week on school and then add to that cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, yardwork, church activities, my part time job, taking care of the dogs, volunteering with the rescue…… I certainly wasn’t interested in taking over Emma’s little projects. It sure makes a good story though, doesn’t it. St. Emma has the patience of Job taking the time to teach her poor crippled mother how to fold paper! Oh, and did I mention I do not have arthritis in my hands? Funny how Emma doesn’t let the little details get in the way of her stories. In full disclosure, I do have osteoarthritis in on shoulder due to a repetitive motion injury, but other than that, no arthritis anywhere.) ##################################################################################################################################################################################################################### ################################################################################################################################################################################################################################### Emma tells “Lacey” about getting her HepA shot for going to Haiti, and then complains about seeing a little boy down the street who noticed her bandaid and asked what color lollipop she got for her shot. Emma says she feels so ripped off for getting painful foreign toxins injected into her body and she doesn’t even get a piece of candy! Sooo not fair! Emma signs off saying this letter is kind of short.

And just a personal note for Emma: I hope you and Daddy have a wonderful time at SEFF! Looks like the rain should clear up enough for the event! In telling the story about the iris folding, I got to thinking ab out when we were homeschooling and how I would keep some beadwork on the porch to work on because I couldn’t leave you alone to do your schoolwork. You sat out there and read books if I left the room. Remember when you cut the little purple amulet bag I was making? You denied and denied it, but I knew you did it. It was a perfect little scissor cut, and you and I were the only ones home. You were mad a me over something so you destroyed my project. Funny how you accused ME of taking over YOUR projects! Also, I was thinking about the time our friends who were down at the Holland School came by to visit, and one of them bought A $30 bead from me and I tucked the money under my desk blotter like it always did with money, checks, or important papers. Then the money disappeared, and you denied taking it. I know you did it Emma. I just didn’t know what to do when you denied, denied, denied, so I let it go. Love you sweetie, have a good time in Americus!

Happy Siblings Day, Emma!

Emma pretending to sleep on the kitchen floor with our dog, Jinxy.  Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma pretending to sleep on the kitchen floor with our dog, Jinxy. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

]Emma showing off losing a tooth.  Jinxy looks on.  Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey. Emma showing off losing a tooth. Jinxy looks on. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey.
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I saw that it was Siglings Day on Facebook, and it reminded me of when Emma was little and would complain about not having a sibling. I told her that our dog, Jinx, was her sibling, and that would make her even more angry. She couldn’t take a joke about the dog. Poor Jinxy loved Emma, but it was not reciprocated. Emma could be pretty mean, but Jinxy was a good natured dog who took it all in stride. When Emma was a toddler, a friend was over and playing tug-o-war with Jinx. Jinxy was growling and slinging her head back and forth, and then Emma would grab the rope and Jinx would barely move, playing a much gentler version of the game. they went back and forth between the tough-dog/gentle-dog version of the game depending on who Jinx was playing with. It is amazing how dogs know these things sometimes!

Letters to “Lacey” Part 12

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

While Phill did 95% of the work, Emma did choose the colors she wanted for her room

While Phill did 95% of the work, Emma did choose the colors she wanted for her room

After Emma's room was painted, Phill put together the bed/desk that Emma had chosen from Ikea.  Emma Roey . Emma Katherine Roey.  Emma Kate Roey.

After Emma’s room was painted, Phill put together the bed/desk that Emma had chosen from Ikea. Emma Roey . Emma Katherine Roey. Emma Kate Roey.


This picture of Rob, one of the kids from Emma's youth group, shows the curtains Emma chose for her room.  Emma Roey,  Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

This picture of Rob, one of the kids from Emma’s youth group, shows the curtains Emma chose for her room. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey


May 20, 2009

(Three days later Emma starts another letter. The first paragraph is about how she finished The Secret Lives of Bees and she repeats a discussion we had at book club.)

Emma states that “Lacey” implied that she was bored without school to keep her occupied, so Emma made a list of suggestions with the one that trumps the rest, according to Emma, is that she could babysit, T., the little girl Emma babysat for. Emma says to just say the word, and Emma will send her there for the summer. Her mom would be THRILLED for “Lacey” to babysit as long as she could survive and Emma promises that she would never be bored.

Emma goes on to say she compiled a list of more viable suggestions: “Lacey” can volunteer to cook every meal for her family. She can teach herself how to knit and then make Emma a sweater. She can memorize the Bible. (The whole thing, not just parts of it.) She can illustrate her favorite verses. She can try to communicate telepathically with an animal, family member, or inanimate object. She can take lots of pictures. She can write letters, poems, and stories. She can cut up paper into little pieces. (Emma says this can amuse some of her little friends for hours.) She can ask Emma to forward Jordan’s texts to her and see if she can translate them into English. (They are even more challenging than those monster Sudoku puzzles that Emma tried and gave up after 5 minutes.) There’s another one, “Lacey” can try Sodoku. She can take things apart and try to put them back together. (Starting with the computer is not recommended because her “rents” will not be happy if she fails at the putting-it-back-together part.) Try to draw something. (Emma states she does not have the attention span and totally lacks skill for art.) “Lacey” can call Emma’s friend Erika, and let her talk to “Lacey.” She can take one shoe (not a pair) out of someone’s closet once a day every day and see how long it takes them to figure out something’s going on. She can put food colors in leftovers (green works well). She can change the background on the family computer. She can sew sequins around the neckline of a plain shirt which Emma says she does have the patience for, and besides it looks pretty! Go to any store and get a shopping cart full of stuff and try to unload it into other people’s carts without them noticing. Color code a family member’s closet. Get a bendy pencil. Label everything “Lacey” can think of including food, furniture, and people. Let little kids color her feet and hands in washable markers……………

(And yes, Emma definitely knows about the food coloring! Once, after I cooked some squash, Emma put green food coloring in the leftovers so that I would think it went bad and she wouldn’t have to eat it again! Even though I knew I’d made the squash the day or two before, I didn’t feel comfortable eating it. I kept asking Emma if she put food coloring in it and she denied, denied, denied, so she won that one, and I threw it away. It was some time later that Emma did admit she put food coloring in the squash.)

Emma says mentioning the washable markers reminds her of something she hasn’t told “Lacey” about. She was helping with VBS and Jordan’s mom told her to help her with the tie-dye project, and it did not occur to Emma to wear gloves, so her hands were bright red, blue, and yellow for weeks before they even began to fade. It had to be a full three months before the stains were completely gone.

(This is another example of a little exaggeration, or maybe a lot. Emma came home with a little dye on her hands, just splotches. It washed out after some hand washing and a few showers, so her hands were NOT brightly colored for weeks.)

Emma tells Lacey about her grandmother (Harriett Roey, Phill’s mom) sending her a newspaper clipping about people dying trying to escape from Haiti, and mentions how her grandmother thought she would support Emma’s endeavor of going on a mission trip by sending her depressing news stories.
Emma has just gotten her passport and travel itinerary and tells Lacey she will be leaving with Eternal Hope of Haiti at 3am on Wed. June 17th, fly to Ft. Lauderdale, and then on to Port-au-Prince where the group will take a puddle-jumper to the mission site. Emma says it is really hitting home that she is going to a third world country with 6 people, 5 of whom she has never met, traveling internationally and by herself for the first time. She needs some serious prayers!

(Odd that Emma claims to only know 5 of 6 people, as both the Nurse Practitioners, and the husband of the director of Eternal Hope went on the trip. One of these ladies was the neighbor that Emma later claimed was drunk when she went over to get instructions on pet sitting for her.)

Emma talks about doing some closet cleaning, and then about getting her new swim suit that she loves, stating that it is modest as far as swimsuits go. (See picture in earlier post.)

Emma asks “Lacey” what she is doing about school the next year. She knew “Lacey” wasn’t returning to Georgia Virtual School (GAVS), and she thought she might be going to public school, and if she is, how does she feel about it? Emma says he prays that it won’t be the H*** for “Lacey” that it was for Emma, if she must endure it at all. Emma tells “Lacey” not to ride the bus if at all possible and to let her know if she is going because she has a lot more survival tips she can give “Lacey.” (No joke. Emma thinks there should be a transition course.)

Emma says she may be staying in GAVS the next year, but we aren’t sure. She is not sure how she feels. Math online is difficult, but she will get through it. She sort of would like to try a hybrid school like Heritage Academy, and she applied there last year, but we were turned down because the branch where we lived was very Baptist. She says she understands they are not all like that, but this one was, and she was pretty upset at the time.
(Our friend Sandi’s sons, Derek McCravy and Johnathan McCravy both went to a Heritage Academy.)

May 21, 2009

Emma starts out complaining, “Ugh…” that the youth group is doing a Spaghetti Lunch on Pentecost Sunday, May 31st to raise money for their mission trip. It is so much work to coordinate that she just feels drained. She was at it all day with e-mail updates, making phone calls, answering questions, etc. The junior youth group was supposedly in charge of planning, but it is really Emma, the deacon, and Ms. Karen (youth group leader) who were doing the important stuff. Emma was finding acolyte subs and coordinating music. Finding acolyte subs entails calling the L. family (remember them?) since their daughter is the only non-youth group acolyte. Emma didn’t get them, but left a message and really hopes they just don’t call back so she can just pull and adult for the senior acolyte and that will be that.

(So, now who’s the control freak? Emma along with the deacon and the youth group leaders are the only ones working on the trip? And what is this about coordinating music? Nooooooo, that was not something Emma did. Emma played the piano for services when the organist was out. She played what she was told to, and had nothing to do with coordinating music.)

Emma says she called Evan and Nick because they are the only other musically inclined members. Nick was unsure about contributing, and if he won’t play, that is more work for the rest of them, but Evan’s mom is an orchestra conductor, so he wants to get a grou together to play jazz. So far, it looks like three of them will play; Emma, Evan, and Evan’s friend whose name she can’t remember. Evan plays violat and his friend plays the violin, and “Lacey” knows that Emma plays piano. Emma is a bit nervous because she has never played in a group before. Being homeschooled, and an only child, Emma says she has not had much in the way of opportunity. There are a few homeschool marching bands, bt for some reason, they don’t want a pianist. Emma wonders why. Anyway, after Nick’s response, Emma felt encouraged to see some enthusiasm.

Emma says she is worried about the deacon fussing at her for doing too much at her own discretion. The junior youth group (as she said) should be in charge of all aspects of planning, but they simply aren’t getting it done. Despite the fact that it would teach them a lesson, Emma didn’t think it was right to keep discussing things like they were final while keeping everyone else out of the loop. Emma knows from doing the fashion show how hard it is to work up a score on short notice, so even though it is not her job, she went ahead and started coordinating the music. It’s like, she doesn’t want to and she shouldn’t have to, but with things the way they are with no immediate sign of possible change, she thought it was better to ask forgiveness than permission. If you’ve volunteered someone for something, it’s only common courtesy to let them know. Not that Emma would ever remind the deacon of that, but it’s true.

(Ok, I’m understanding why, when my attorney read these letters he said Emma was all about control. And what is this about “work up a score?” Excuse me? Emma played the only songs she knew well and that was songs from Les Miserables and from Phantom of the Opera. “Work up a Score?” That’s pretty funny? It sounds like she was writing a musical. It was a little embarrassing that Emma played the same songs for both the Mother’s Day brunch and the Spaghetti Lunch because it looked like Emma didn’t know anything else, but no one seemed to mind hearing the same music over again.)

Next, Emma starts talking about how we are going to IKEA the following day to get some bookshelves and a desk for her room. Apparently they were having a really good sale, so sayeth her dad. (Phill was a BIG IKEA fan.) Emma says she desperately needs storage space, so she is excited about going to IKEA, and she will try to send “Lacey” a picture when her shelves are up.

Next Emma talks about Twilla (Of Eternal Hope of Haiti) and her daughter Hope stopping by because Hope wanted Emma to take care of their dog. Twilla had more information about Emma’s trip and Emma will be rooming with Leah, a Korean medical student from Emory. Emma also says that she will need about $70 in ones on her at all times.

May 27, 2009

Emma complains that she hasn’t had much time to write due to home renovations. She states we were working a bit on her room. She figures by the time she moves out, she’ll have it the way she wants and says “no pessimism there or anything.” Emma talks about going to IKEA and how huge lines and misdirection made the trip a couple of hours longer than it should have been.
(Ummmmmmmm, not exactly. We re-did Emma’s room and she had complete control over what she wanted from paint down to furniture. We spent a lot of time looking at IKEA while Emma decided on a bed, and we at lunch at the restaurant. There was one time there were lines at the cashiers, but they moved quickly, so the whole “huge lines and misdirection” was a gross exaggeration.)

Emma talks about church and about going to a cookout for Memorial Day at the home of one of Emma’s “Aunts” from the rescue.

Emma talks about the youth group and about calling, Ari, a youth group member. Emma states that she and Ari were both bored so they talked for almost an hours. Emma claims Ari has never been hostile, but they just have differences about politics, morals, and many other things. Emma says they avoided conflict though, and even though Emma thinks Ari is a closet psycho Marist, she likes her on a personal level. BTW, says emma, if you haven’t done much study of Marxism, the basic philosophy is “From each according to their ability, to each according to their need.” Emma says extreme political philosophies are an area of interest to her, and complains that most people use the terms Communism, Socialism, Marxism, and Fascism interchangeably and that is one of her pet peeves. She tells “Lacey” the next time she hears someone use one of those terms to ask them what it means and 90% of the time, they won’t be able to tell you.

Emma asks “Lacey” if she has heard So Long Self by Mercy Me. Emma says it is a breakup sont with yourself:

So long, self
Well it’s been fun but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There’s just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don’t take this wrong but you were wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don’t cry
So long, self

Emma says she thought the song was kind of silly when she first heard it, but the more she thinks about it, the deeper it seems.
Emma talks about going to book club the night before and how a couple of people were asking advice on family problems. Emma says she’s glad she’s not the only one with a majorly dysfunctional family.

Emma talks about the Deacon, at book club, speaking about the Drama triangle and the three parts of villain, victim, and rescuer. She says to get out of the triangle, you have to refuse to play any of those rolls, and admittedly, the toughest part to get out of is the victim.
(Kind of ironic, isn’t it? Emma has a hard time not playing the victim? Truer words have not been spoken!)

Emma goes on to talk about someone else mentioning being a victim vs. being a volunteer. Basically being a volunteer is making a martyr of yourself. (Hmmmmmmm. Funny, how the woman who mentioned’ victim vs volunteer” at book club later told me that that Emma had made herself into a volunteer.)
Emma tells “Lacey” that her Beta fish, Zorro, says hi and that she will give “Lacey” a detailed account of the Spaghetti Lunch soon.

Letters to “Lacey” Part 11 <<<<<>>>>>>>

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Part 11

(The following day, Emma starts yet another 5 page letter to “Lacey.”)

May 12, 2009

…….Emma mentions that our friend Ski passed away and that she is going to volunteer to get a team together to serve at the funeral…..
(Emma NEVER put the acolyte teams together. There was an adult in charge of doing that, but it does make Emma sound important and in-charge, doesn’t it? As a matter of fact, I was the one to call the priest and let him know that Emma wanted to serve at the funeral because she was fond of Ski.)

May 13, 2009

Emma talks about going going to church book club (with me) and tells “Lacey” that we are reading The Secret Life of Bees. ( by Sue Monk Kidd) and goes on to talk about keeping her phone off at church and youth group because if her friend Rob sees her with her phone, he will text her, “What’ch doin’?” or something similar, even though he is sitting six inches away from her and it’s like “What do you think I’m doing?” Usually, she just rolls her eyes, but occasional will text something back like, “Listening to deacon. Like u SHOULD be.” But it’s just easier to keep her phone off and avoid the problem.

May 14, 2009

Emma complains of a busy day and having to go to the orthodontist and how they were a half hour late for her appointment, and then she had to sit another thirty minutes while the ONLY doctor on duty worked on the patient next to her and then finally got to her, told the assistant what she needed, and left. She says if he knew it was going to take five seconds, why didn’t he do her first? And of course they chose to be jerks on the day she had somewhere else to go. Emma says we barely made it to the viewing for Ski because of the “insert profanity here” orthodontist and that if “Lacey” hasn’t picked up on it, she is in a MOOD.


(Emma’s orthodontists were Dr. Parson’s and Dr. Gilbert in Dacula, Ga. I think now they are called Smiles Forever. They were always very prompt, and I don’t ever remember any of her visits taking an hour. We were usually in and out pretty quickly. When we first started going, I thought it a little odd that it was like an assembly line, with the chairs lined up with patient after patient, but I guess for convenience, this arrangement kept things moving smoothly. For safety’s sake, it would also make it difficult for a patient to accuse a doctor of molestation or anything else, as there are so many people around, and now I think this kind of arrangement is a very good idea. After your child has falsely accused someone of molestation, you look at these things a little differently.
Emma HATED braces and did not appreciate the fact that she would have nice teeth in the long run. I never understood this because I also had braces as a child, and I remember being so proud of my “tinsel teeth.” Ok, I did hate the funky headgear, when I had to wear that, and yes there was some pain involved, but I was happy about my braces. As an adult, I really appreciate that my mother and I had to take a bus and then a subway to go downtown every time we went to the orthodontist. It was a lot of bother. (Thanks mom and dad!) Emma was completely miserable on the days we went to the orthodontist, and seemed to try to make me as miserable is she was with her constant complaining. Her teeth were not that bad, and I often wished we just hadn’t bothered with the braces. It just didn’t seem worth it, but when they came off, she did have a lovely smile. Frequently, after the orthodontist, we would stop at Starbucks for a frozen Frappuccino, which we both loved, but even this didn’t stop the complaining, and Emma would spend the rest of the day whining about how miserable and uncomfortable she was. I still remember the pain of getting the braces tightened. I would go home and take some Tylenol, have soup for dinner, and start feeling better the next day, but with Emma, every trip was pure agony.)

Emma talks about going to her piano lesson that afternoon, and how a large rat snake slithered out from under our car and went into the bushes at her teacher’s home. Emma claimed her teacher freaked out and was shaking so badly that Emma thought she was going to have a seizure!

(Ummmm, no! Emma and I were leaving her paino teacher’s house, and the teacher walked out on the porch like she always did, when we were leaving. I noticed the snake under the car, and the teacher told us she was afraid of snakes. I told her it was a rat snake and that they are harmless. She joked about how she wouldn’t come off the porch to see it, and as we got closer, the snake took off into the bushes. There was no severe shaking, as Emma described. Omigoodness, the drama!)

May 16, 2009

Emma talks about Ski’s funeral and how she couldn’t get a team together to serve because everyone else was in school. She says she did the reading (from Revelations) and everyone was very complimentary.
(See my earlier note of how Emma was NOT in charge of getting a team to serve at the funeral.)

May 17, 2009

Emma says she is really going to sit down and write more than two paragraphs tonight!
Emma talks about Sunday school and how there were blended classes that day, and how the younger kids love having an “awesome teenager” in attendance. She talks about how one of the girls is her “adopted” little sister” and then complains about some of the little girls trying to play matchmaker or asking her why she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and how she will suffer in silence and just complain to “Lacey.”

Emma tells “Lacey” cute stories about little girls fighting over her and two of them sitting with her in church, and having to take them to the bathroom. She says that not having siblings, she forgets about the urgency of pottly, and the dire seriousness of “now” makes her realize her mistake in discussing the subject and wasting precious time, (Asking, “Can you wait until the sermon is over?”) and then complains about having to walk down the aisle all the way to the back of the church an then troop back to the front row. She says she feels like everyone is watching her, and after church many people told her what a good mother she would be. Emma tells “Lacey” that she hates the pressure she feels from these people, like if her highest aspiration isn’t to be a mommy, there’s something wrong with her, but honestly, she doesn’t want children! She can sit with the for a few hours, even a couple of days, and then she is ready for them to go back to where they came from. She doesn’t want the responsibility 24/7. She doesn’t feel like she can say that to people. It’s like with all this gender equality junk, women are STILL expected to be the homemakers and care for children, and if they don’t there is something wrong with them.

(If I said something about having grandchildren one day, Emma would frequently tell me that she wasn’t going to have children. I usually said something like, “Good. You shouldn’t want children at your age. You have too many other things to do.” Or that she needed to finish growing up first, or something along those lines. Emma would frequently get angry and try to convince me that no, she NEVER wanted children, and try to get me to argue with her. Let’s face it, as a mother, when your 15-16 year old is talking about not having children, you don’t take it too seriously. I remember feeling the same way. There is a time and a place, and frankly, contrary to what is happening in a lot of society, I thought it was a good thing that Emma didn’t want children at that point. It wasn’t something I was going to argue over, but Emma would go on and on trying to convince me that she was never having children. I think she got mad that I didn’t argue with her about it. Later on, when Phill decided he wanted a divorce, he told me that Emma never wanted children because she was afraid she would be a mother like me.)

In the next part of the letter, Emma talks about the youth group end of school party, and complains that one of the kids brought a Wii and how she wished they would at least communicate with others some of the time instead of playing video games. Before the party, Emma went home with her friend Jordan, and Jordan and her little brother were trying to teach Emma to play tennis on the Wii. Emma states that she has never played a video game in her life! She says she did pretty badly, but it is not important to her as she thinks her hobbies are a bit more worthwhile. “It’s a lot harder to get into the video industry than the music industry. Ya know?”

(Another lie, er, I mean, exaggeration about having NEVER played video games in her life. Ummm, not true. Emma played lots of video games when she was younger, and was really hooked on Bejeweled when Phill put it on the computer. Overall, yes, she wasn’t really that into video games, but if she found something that interested her, she would play.)

Emma comments on her youth group leader having a Mill Creek yearbook, and says she pretend to be sad about not having a yearbook, and how she and another child who were homeschooled would have a yearbook of one. Then, this young girl went off into a corner and made Emma a homeschool yearbook with a napkin and a sharpie, and everyone signed it, even Ms. Karen, the youth group leader. Emma says she values that napkin more than the $80-500 page year book she got from Jackson County Comprehensive High School.

Emma tells a few stories about the youth group party and then mentions talking to Evan, whom she would develop a crush on over the summer, about music. She says she envies him because he plays two instruments and she only plays one. Emma says she tried harmonica for a while only to discover that it was not her calling. Evan told Emma that playing the recorder was mandatory in middle school, but since Emma was homeschooled, she wasn’t aware of this. Then she mentions playing recorder when she was in a homeschool program, and as if it’s not bad enough to hate the instrument and be utterly unable to play it everybody else got their recorders through the schools and gets white ones, but Emma had a clear blue one brought from home because her mom won’t buy her a normal one. That makes her inadequacy even more obvious. What’s so funny is that Evan said, “You got it for your birthday with the little book, right? I was the same way.”

Emma says being hopeless on the recorder and bringing one from home that always caught the teacher’s attention made her call out every mistake Emma made, so it made her feel better to know there was another person on the face of the earth who had to go through music class with a blue recorder. Emma says she doesn’t know why, but she found that comforting.

(Omigoodness, poor Emma! Scarred for life by a transparent blue recorder!! Goodness! Is this another form of abuse? Why didn’t she call DFACS back then? Things wouldn’t have escalated to iris folding, expensive drama classes, and all the other horrible things Emma’s mother forced upon her! Ok, in all seriousness. Emma greatly exaggerates her ineptness at the harmonica and the recorder. She could play both of them, but she was not interested. Since she already played the piano, she had no difficulty learning the fingering and playing the recorder.
And as for that horrible blue recorder, I don’t remember when I got it. A friend of ours sold scholastic books, and I would let Emma pick some out, and I would pick some out that I thought might be good for school. I got the recorder, yes with the music book, thinking she would enjoy it, and we gave it to her either for her birthday or Christmas. Had I known it would lead to such a traumatic experience, I certainly wouldn’t have bothered. Emma started figuring it out and playing some of the simple songs the very first day she had it.
Emma took a recorder class as one of her electives in the homeschool program we attended. The teacher told the kids they could pick up a recorder at the dollar store and that would be just fine. Since Emma already had a recorder, I didn’t worry about getting another. Silly me, I should have spent the extra buck.
Ok, in all honesty, I’m just assuming that Emma didn’t have enough teen angst to complain to “Lacey” about, so she had to turn the recorder story into something it wasn’t. Funny how she never complained about the blue recorder when she was taking the class. )

Emma tells “Lacey” about playing Apples to Apples at the party and explains how the game is played, and then how her parents picked her, Rob, Molly, Jordan, and Alex up and gave everyone a ride home while the kids played the sentence game where each person in the car adds a word to a sentence. Emma says she typed a sentence into her phone so she would remember to tell “Lacey” and it was, “How many monkeys can t ink when there is a demented psychopathic anteater chasing them around?” and says there was another sentence they made about purple ants juggling yellow humans, Lol.

Emma signs off saying that that is about it for the sonderful adventures of her life thus far and to write soon!

Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate

Letters to “Lacey” Part 10

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Phill and Emma when we were on a sightseeing trip in NYC.  Phill Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey,  Emma Kate Roey

Phill and Emma when we were on a sightseeing trip in NYC. Phill Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Part 10
May 9, 2009

(Emma starts another 5 page letter to “Lacey.”)

Another, “Hey Laura!” and Emma tells “Lacey” that it is 1:10 am and she can’t sleep because she took her migraine meds. Emma talks about her mom teaching part time at a local Christian homeschool arts program and that the parent showcase was the previous night. Emma says that it is a collection of skits by all the classes strung together on a basic story line about happiness, truth, freedom, etc., and says that she went to the performance because A) she had nothing better to do, and B) a lot of people there found her on facebook, so she thought it would be fun to see them again. She didn’t remember until she was actually there, but everyone was so nice. No one told her how she could dress better, but ten people must have told her how pretty she looked. She was amazed how those people cared about her even though they hadn’t seen her in over a year. Coming from public school, it was hard to believe that two communities could coexist……. She states that she hopes to go back there next year now that she really appreciates it. (Funny thing is, we let Emma do online school the following year and she refused to go back to the homeschool arts program which was held on Fridays for ½ day.)

Emma goes on to say that a few people were interested in what public school was like and she was so torn at answering that question. In some ways she would say you have to see firsthand what a public school is like so you can really appreciate that you aren’t there, but in some ways you would be sooo much happier if you never had to go through that. For instance, forgive Emma for putting it bluntly, but when y ou barely recognize the existence of the f-word, you aren’t going to be grateful that people don’t shout it at each other sixty times daily, ya know?

By the way, Emma says, if some of this letter is incoherent, just don’t worry about it. Keep in mind that she is extremely sleep deprived and burning up. Did she mention that the a/c was broken? So whatever temperature it is outside is the temperature inside, and we have a wonderful A/C guy, but the problem is getting him to show up. He can never manage that. He was supposed to be there yesterday. (Ok, the part about the a/c guy is true. Jeff was wonderful and reasonable, but he rarely showed up when he said he would, and he rarely called to tell you he wasn’t coming.)

Later on in the day, Emma continues the letter around 8pm:

Emma says the song “What If” by Nicole Nordeman has been running through her head:

They say the cross will only make a fool of you.
And what if it’s true?
What if He takes His place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taughter us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?
But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump
And just close your eyes
What if the arms that catch you, cathc you by surprise….

Emma says she loves the chorus to the song. It makes her wonder about all the world religions, our religion atheism, and reminds her of a couple o her favorite pieces of wisdom she’s picked up over the years:
If Christians die to find out atheists were right all along, what do they lose? Nothing. But if atheists die to find out Christians were right, what do they lose? Everything.

Also, she got this from a guy who spoke at a graduation: At college you will be met with logic that makes sense and sounds good, and also totally contradicts Christ. Yes, there will be proof that Christianity is a lie. To Adam and Eve, there was proof that nothing bad would happen if they ate the forbidden fruit. (Emma says in parentheses that she was listening to this going “wow”…) From the beginning, Satan has used sound logic to trick us. It totally puts terms like “fact, reality, logic” into a new perspective, huh? (I’m thinking Emma fell for Satan’s trick. What about you?)

May 10, 2009

Emma talks about the church’s Mother’s Day Luncheon and Fashion Show and complains that she always ends up in the fashion show. She never volunteers for it, but her name magically appears in the bulleting as a model anyway. Oh, well. Don’t let Emma make too much of a martyr of herself, she goes on, as it wasn’t that bad. There were a couple of new twists in her part this year. They called her Friday night and asked her to play some dinner music at the lunch while people were coming in. Oh, ya, a day and a half of notice, let’s see what she can come up with?

Emma played some of the score to Phantom of the Opera, which she knew fairly well. Emma was pleased and embarrassed that Evan stood beside her and listened from beginning to end……
Emma says she also volunteered to help serve people their food, and this was just as well because it took away from the fact that she wasn’t eating. She tells “Lacey” not to worry because she’s not anorexic, but she doesn’t like the food. Emma tells how she was serving one side of the room and Evan was serving the other.
After everybody finished lunch, Emm ran upstairs to dress for the fashion show, and one of the younger girls told her they heard her playing the piano and how good she was, but that she thought the church would get a “professional” and the girl’s older sister said, “Shhh! She is a professional!” (True? I would guess this was a cute fabrication.)

By the way, Emma tells “Lacey”, whenever she goes to church, she sees to effortlessly accumulate a posse, so it’s not surprising that she ended up on the catwalk with two little girls….


May 11, 2009

Emma says this letter may be a bit short, but she’s going to get it in the mail the following day. She is looking forward to the end of school party the youth grou is having the following Sunday.

Emma talks about getting “Lacey’s” e-mail and about “Lacey’s” mom’s breast cancer. Emma says this must have been really trying, but it makes “Lacey” a huge part of who she is and it is amazing that she can share her experiences so openly because it can be such a blessing for those who are hurting.
(If you’ve read the blog, you already know that Emma lied about “Lacey’s” mom’s breast cancer. There were at least 2 or 3 times Emma claimed “Lacey’s” mother was hospitalized and on death’s door. They didn’t know if she would pull through! Oh the drama! My attorney spoke to “Lacey’s” parents, and I spoke to “Lacey’s” mother myself. She did have breast cancer, but was treated as an outpatient and was NEVER hospitalized, and was close to dying.)
Emma tells “Lacey” that she loves her poems because they express what Emma herself would say if she had the courage to write it down. Going back to not sharing emotions/trusting people. Emma feels like if she doesn’t put it on paper or saved it on a computer, it’s just that much less likely that other people will find out how she really feels. It’s so much easier to talk to “Lacey” because she doesn’t have any expectations Emma has to uphold. Emma doesn’t have to worry about something she may say wrong and shattering “Lacey’s fragile impression of her. Emma says she builds a façade and cultivates it, continually adding detail and chrisma and charm until it doesn’t even occur to people that there might be something deeper. She feels like it is too late to stop. It’s different with “Lacey” though because “Lacey” doesn’t see the face, ya know? Emma says she guesses “Lacey” does the same thing.

Also, about the poem, about looking into your eyes and seeing the real you, (not the façade)….It’s funny, Emma doesn’t even worry about people seeing past it anymore. She realizes now that people only see what they want to see. Emma wonders what they’d think if they knew who she really was, but she also knows that they don’t want to know. They see a sweet, well-spoken, gentle young lady and they like what they see, so they don’t want to look any further. That is both relieving and disconcerting at the same time, you know what she means? It is just nice to know that someone else (Lacey) is going through what Emma is going through. Emma says she looks at Jordan, Evan, Rob… do they ever feel this way? She doesn’t know and she never asks because that would be admitting she feels this way, which Emma could never do. Then she looks at the little girl she babysits who’s life’s ambition is to be a teenager. Will she feel like this, or will it be as great for her as she th inks it is for Emma. It is so hard to think about all this…
Emma says these thoughts remind her of the chorus form a song by Jars of Clay, Two Hands:
I use on hand to pull you closer,
The other to push you away…
I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar that thirsts for the truth..

Emma says the song is about being divided and how we could do much more if we were united.
(I am refraining from commenting here. Too much teen angst, which I know is just part of growing up.)

Emma says she just said this, but she is so comforted to know someone else is going through the same thing she is. It is also nice to have someone to talk to that she feels like she can actually trust. She thinks she can trust “Lacey” because she doesn’t have the expectations that everyone else has. No one tells her what to think of Emma. Does that make sense? She hopes so. It doesn’t make sense to Emma how she can be so h appy sometimes and so utterly depressed other times. Does “Lacey” feel the same way? Emma just looked at this letter and saw that she was all over the place on the emotional side of things.

Emma talks about an older couple that we were friends with at church. The husband passed away the year before, and the wife was now going on hospice.

Then Emma bounces back to see if she can end on a lighthearted note and tells a funny story about Jordan calling her after she sent out the e-mail about the youth group party.
“What day is the party? It doesn’t say.” Jordan asks, and Emma tells her to read Emma the subject line which has “Sunday” in it, and Jordan asks, “Oh, it’s Sunday?”
Emma sas that Jordan will be the first of many who will call or e-mail her with that question, and then mentions she is babysitting the following night, so she can watch Aquamarine again…………
Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate

Letters to “Lacey” Part 9

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma on a youth group church trip where they went scuba diving in a pool.  Emma Roey.  Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey.

Emma on a youth group church trip where they went scuba diving in a pool. Emma Roey. Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey.

Part 9

May 7, 2009
The very next day Emma starts another letter to “Lacey.” This one is 3 pages, single spaced. She starts out saying how she resolves to write more light-hearted thoughts about nothing in particular (to compensate for the depressing letter she mailed out this morning). She says this is the last day she is locked in the back room of the counseling office at Jackson County Comprehensive High School. She says she finished her last final and is bored out of her mind. That along wigh feeling bad for not writing “Lacey” last week (because she went to SEFF) is why she is writing so much this week, so she will share all her random thoughts, stories and other stuff she feels compelled to share with “Lacey.”

Hmmmm. Where should she start? Emma says her mom keeps texting her since shes at the school, and of course she has her phone on vibrate, so she jumps when she is not expecting to get a text. It happened during lunch and everyone was laughing at Emma (not with her) when in the middle of a sentence she went, “Ahhh!” She is lucky the administrators didn’t see her look at her phone. Students aren’t supposed to have them on campus. Emma says she is not technically a student, but they treat her like one because they don’t know any different. She is not sure if these qualify as happy thoughts, but she is trying….

(And no, I did not make it a habit of texting Emma while she was at school. If I were to text her, it usually would have been in response to a text Emma sent me. I did not feel like I should text Emma while she was at school. Also, there was no rule about the kids not having cell phones. They ALL had cell phones. They were not supposed to have them out during class, but there was no rule that they could not have them at school. A slight exaggeration there.)

Emma tells “Lacey” just so she knows, Emma deleted the last letter after she printed it yesterday. That way no one can ever find it and trace it back to Emma. She says she will do the same with this letter. It never hurts to be safe.

(Hmmm. I wonder why Emma felt the need to delete her letters? What did she have to hide? I guess she didn’t expect “Lacey” to turn them over to my attorney.)

Emma’s next paragraph starts off saying that Oh, she can think of something that is not depressing! She got an e-mail that Rob tagged her in a note on Facebook. So, she opened up the note, figuring it would be something worth reading, but it was chain mail. Emma says she loves her friends, but does not understand them.

Emma says she just texted Jordan and asked what was a funny youth group story, trying to think of something to tell “Lacey” and Jordan texted back “idk…….monopolyzng? :P” Emma says to remember that Jordan can’t or won’t spell… and anything that she says includes “idk” whether she really knows or not). Emma says she THINKS she knows what Jordan means by that, and it’s a story she doesn’t think she’s told “Lacey.” The kids were at youth grou one night, talking about “norms” which basically meant Ms. F. was talking about how to run the group and a few of them were half paying attention while the rest were off in na-na land (teenagers do not listen well at 7:30 on a Sunday night). Ms. F. was talking about how everyone needs to feel comfortable sharing their ideas, and this won’t happen if one person keeps talking. To back up her point, she told us about an instance in the book club where one adult participant (whom she did not name) was monopolizing the conversation and because of that, other people were too intimidated to contribute. Then she asked the kids to share their experiences with this problem and Evan, who was still processing the book club example raised his and and said, “But Father T. is the priest…..isn’t he supposed to monopolize the converstation?” Everybody, Even Ms. F. started laughing.
Emma goes on to say that most of them knew that adult she was referring to was Mrs. L, who’s family Emma wrote about earlier, and everyone knew it was not Father T.
(Ok, the only problem here is that Ms. L. never attended bookclub. I attended book club, and Emma often went with me, but never went without me. Mrs. L. never participated in the book club Just an opportunity for Emma to speak ill of someone she didn’t like. It did not matter if it were true or not.)

Emma goes on to say that Jordan is sort of upset with her bacuse she asked Emma what she would say if she were to speak at Jordan’s funeral. Emma gets more verbose telling the story, but basically says she would want to tell a story that people would remember Jordan by, so she would tell about when they were at camp and Jordan was performaning her color guard routine with the mop.
“What?? That’s what you want people to remember me by?? Why?? That’s mean!!”
Emma says that the problem was that Jordan knew exactly what she wanted Emma to say before they started talking, but unfortunately, Emma didn’t, so now Jordan is mad at her for saying the wrong thing at her imaginary funeral. And how does Emma end up with friends she can’t understand?

Emma’s next paragraph starts out with, “Guess what?” Emma says she still has an hour and fifty-seven minutes to talk to “Lacey” and isn’t “Lacey” thrilled. She also changed to a smaller font so she won’t have to print out as many pages. Let her see, what life changing venture can Emma tell “Lacey” about now? Oooo, she got a camera. It’s a Kodak and it’s dark purple. It stores almost 2000 pictures. Now she can take pictures of her friends and be assured she is not in them. Of course, she will have to be careful not to let it out of her hands… She is sure her friends would be absolutely delighted to torture her with her own camera. They have enough fun pulling out cameras or phones and pointing them at her. Oh, and there’s a really funny video Jordan has of Confirmation last summer. When you hit play, everything is blurry and then it focuses on the group and they all make funny faces. Then you her Jordan say, “I’m taking a video…” and everyone drops their poses and grumbles. Lol.

Then Emma says oh wow, Jordan just texted her. All it says is, “c pretty butum.” And Emma actually does not see the pretty button because apparently Jordan forgot the picture she ment to attach. Or knowing Jordan, she may have even forgotten to attach the pretty button video she thought to take for Emma’s viewing pleasure.

What other useless material does Emma feel like sharing. She may tell Jordan about the time the pool collapsed….then Jordan texts again with a video attachment that is labeled “pretty butun” and the video is 23 seconds long, but it’s very dark, so it is hard to tell if it is a button on Jordan’s knee under her desk. Emma says she can hear Jordan’s Geometry teacher in the background saying, “And with the second prep, I want you to do for homework…I will take this up” and the video cuts off.
Next Emma goes on to tell the pool story about how she and Kayla Benifield Weaver collapsed our inflatable pool, but they were fine and came out miraculously unscathed except for Kayla hitting her head on a tree.
(Another Brian Wiilliams/Emma Roey moment here, as I was there when the pool collapsed, and no, Kayla did not hit her head on a tree. I wonder if Emma had to duck from sniper fire as well?)

Emma writes a little more fluff, killing time about looking out the window and all the things she sees in the parking lot, how she has an hour and 15 minutes left, complains about the 2 hours she spends on the school bus, talks about an upcoming church youth group trip… Emma complains about needing a bathing suit, but the only thing she can find in her size is a bikini, and she would like to order a tankini, but they are so expensive.…. and then signs off with the usual:
Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate


(One last note about the bikini. I don’t know why Emma felt the need to say the only thing she could find in her size was a bikini. At that point, we were busy finishing up with school and did not go shopping for a bathing suit until probably sometime in June. In fact, I had ordered Emma a tankini from Land’s End, but after she got it, she decided she didn’t like it and refused to wear it. If only she’d told me that before she wore it so I could have returned it. I don’t understand this need to say the only thing she could find was a bikini. Emma never would wear a bikini, and we did find a lovely black and white suite at Kohls’s that met with her approval. See Pic……….. )

Letters to “Lacey” Part 8

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

For about 7 years, Emma, her aunt, and I went to the William Holland School in Young Harris Ga. every summer for a week.  In 2010, Emma spent a week learning how to cut Cabachons.

For about 7 years, Emma, her aunt, and I went to the William Holland School in Young Harris Ga. every summer for a week. In 2010, Emma spent a week learning how to cut Cabachons.



Part 8

May 6, 2009

Emma starts out this letter to “Lacey” with and “Ugh” and says that she is at Jackson County Comprehensive High School for three days of EOCT testing. It only took her a few minutes on the bus for her to remember exactly why she hates JCCHS and the people there so much. From the moment she got on the bus she saw more evidence of “their” backstabbing definition of friendship. Emma supposes they consider crucifying a ‘friend’ for what she’s wearing, because it’s not in style, to be good for her. At least that was how Emma interpreted the situation. Today, they were criticizing K. for her flip-flops that she wore three days ago. Emma says she did not see the flip-flops, but apparently they were not in style and she is refraining from using the profanities they uttered repeatedly, but she is sure “lacey” can imagine.

Emma tells “lacey that is is so strange. When they are on the bus, Emma is totally and completely disgusted with them and can’t wait until she can get off the bus and run to the counselor’s off ice (that’s where she tests and uses the computer) and get away from them. But then she at lunch with them because it is better than eating alone, slightly, and they were talking and saying they miss Emma and they were talking about friendships, and C. put her arm around Emma and said, “Emma and me, we’re tight, man!” Emma asks “Lacey”, if C. honestly believes that??? After all, C. had not seen Emma in months. In those few moments, Emma felt like maybe, just maybe she could be friends with the girls , but that was until Bo flicked a ketchup-loaded lettuce leaf in her direction, and Emma said, “Hey! These are my new jeans!” so Bo told her that she shouldn’t wear them to school. Emma talks about being sick and having lost 10 lbs., and keeping her clothes nice (not grungy) and modest, which is unacceptable to her friends.
(A slight exaggeration on the weight loss. Emma would lose two or three pounds during her vomiting episodes, but the only time she lost 10 pounds was when she had Rotovirus.)

Emma says she will tell “Lacey” about her “friends.” She starts with C. and says that she met her when she started volunteering with the animal rescue group that we worked with and she liked her for years. Emma noted that C. did curse a lot, but she seemed nice other than that. C. also assured Emma that she and her friends would take Emma under their wing when she came to high school, but Emma did not realize that C’s bringing her into the clique would impact Emma so greatly. Shortly after Emma started at JCCHS, C. had her first abortion, and Emma says that that shook her to her core. You see, until then, everything had been great. Emma felt loved and accepted and overlooked the things she didn’t want to see like the backstabbing and the drinking and drugs. Basically you name it, and C. does it, but the abortion was too much for Emma to ignore.
(If you have been reading the blog, I have already told the abortion story. It was a lie. Emma made it up.)

After C.’s “abortion,” Emma says she started to open her eyes. She began to realize that the people here were not people she wanted to be around, much less look up to or be in a ‘group’ with. When Emma looked at what went on, she was still amazed that the people like her church friends still existed. If there was anyone at JCCHS like her church friends, Emma had yet to find them, and she has tried! So many people Emma used to think a lot of have turned out to be unworthy of her commentation..she can’t think of one at school that she truly admires.
KB is another “friend”. BTW, all these friends live in Emma’s neighborhood, she states. The other friends tell KB she is stupid, although they use a much less polite term. KB believes them and even says it herself.

M. is who Emma considers to be the most intelligent “friend.” She is just as cruel as any of them, but she is also a bit more aware. She has half a clue about politics, although she’d probably tell you she had a whole clue. She thinks she knows it all. “It all” entails the huge government conspiracy that’s out to get us. M. agrees with Emma’s political views, but is much more radical than Emma and Emma and is an extreme right winger. She wants conservatives to rule the world, basically.

A more lighthearted moment, Emma talks about being on the phone with Jordan the night before and talking about Twilight, and then goes into a long descriptive story about Jordan and a spider…

Emma goes on to tell another story about Jordan and when they were at camp the previous summer. Emma claims that she found Jordan out cold on the bathroom floor, and when she came to, all she could whisper was “Spider” and Emma killed it because she didn’t want to risk losing Jordan again.
(Ok, seriously, does anyone believe this story happened? It makes a great story, but Jordan doesn’t really faint that easily.)

Emma’s last paragraph tells about “the wonderful world of grandma” because her grandmother sent her a card and Emma couldn’t understand why her grandmother bought a 50 cent card and then sent it priority mail. Emma complains that Grandma signs “Love” but never writes a personal message.
Emma signs off and says if she writes anymore it will be about the Bad Place where she is, and that would just be depressing.

Blessings and Love, Emma-Kate.

Letters to Lacey Part 7 ————UPDATE COMPLETE 3/1/15

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Christmas 2008, one of Emma's gifts was a fairly extensive make-up set.  Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Christmas 2008, one of Emma’s gifts was a fairly extensive make-up set. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Letters to “Lacey” Part 7

May 3, 2009

This 6 page typewritten letter starts out with Emma apologizing for not writing for a week but she says she has a pretty good excuse.
Emma changes the subject and talks about listening to a song by Natalie Grant called Perfect People which, for those who may not be familiar with the song, starts like this:
This song is not for you, if you’ve never cried a river
Or had your heart broken in two
This song is not for you, if everyday you wake up
The skies are blue
But this is for anyone, no matter how you pray
The pain won’t let you get through
But you try and you try
Still they lie, they say that it’s over for you

Read more: The Walls Group – Perfect People Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Emma says this song is so true. She guesses that is basically human nature. It sort of ties into hiding emotions, which Emma understands because she does that too. She doesn’t want to hurt people or EVEN WORSE damage their perception of her. Emma says she tries to appear flawless before everyone because that is what she wants to be. She guesses subconsciously that she hopes if enough people think she is a wonderful person then maybe she will be that person. She asks “Lacey,” “Ya get what I’m saying?” and says from “Lacey’s” letter, she thinks she does.

Emma says she totally connects to another Natalie Grant song called Back to My Heart.

Strong on the outside
But coming apart at the seams
That’s me
Tragically always together
But bruised underneath
Well, that’s me
I stand just to stumble
Tripping on my pride
Why do I always try to hide?
Meanwhile, back at my heart
I’m desperate for all that You are
Undo me, take me apart

Read more: Natalie Grant – Back At My Heart Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Emma says she definitely has issues with surrendering and trusting Him completely with her life. It is not something she can fathom. She is one of those people who always has to appear in control, even when her life is really coming apart. She has to be the organizer, to plan everything, to know exactly what’s going on down to the last minute detail.
Next Emma starts answering random questions. Her birthday is Dec. 19, 1993. Her e-mail is dogbreath….., and she talks about wanting to read the book “Lacey” mentioned called Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. She says she’d heard of it and had seen ads for it in World magazine. She says she hasn’t read it, but she wants to.
Emma mentions “Lacey” telling her about her imaginary friend, Christine, and Emma says it is not lame that “Lacey” had an imaginary friend. Emma confesses that she never had an imaginary friend, but she did write letters to nobody in particular. It is much easier than actually confiding in someone. Emma says she is always the first person her friends trust with secrets and the last person to share her own. Also, as she mentioned before, Jordan is the only girlfriend Emma has that she sees a lot, and Jordan is just not someone Emma trusts with secrets. It is nothing personal, it is just that Emma knows Jordan does not think before she speaks. She eventually blurts things out one way or another. (In case “Lacey is wondering, Emma has learned this from experience.” Jordan doesn’t mean to to this, and she is very sorry afterwards, but that is not much help. Emma says she would rather not induce the inevitable. Like she said, Emma has to be in control, and sharing secrets is sharing control. Emma adds that she is an only child and doesn’t share well, and then says in parentheses “Half Joking. Half serious.”

Emma comments on something “Lacey” said in her last letter and says that “Lacey” and Emma are a lot of like because they won’t tell people when they are hurt because they want to handle it themselves, but they are quick to comfort friends who are hurting.
Emma says she guesses “Lacey” has figured out that she is disappointed with Obama. She hopes that the economy will hit rock bottom during his term because that would more likely get people to vote conservative in 2012. Emma says she would love to see Huckabee run.

Emma talks about reading in Reader’s Digest that Shyness is a disease, and BTW she loves Reader’s Digest. She talks about “Lacey” and her sisters………….

(If you have been reading the blog, you will remember that Emma used an article from Reader’s Digest just a few months before writing this letter to Lacey. While attending Jackson County Comprehensive High School, Emma claimed that the kids had drug parties where they took anything they could get from their parent’s medicine cabinets and threw all the pills in a bowl, and then passed the bowl around, so each participant could grab a handful of pills and swallow them. I later realized Emma had gotten this idea from the Reader’s Digest.)

In the next paragraph, Emma says she knows what “Lacey” means about wanting to talk to the guys at her church. When Emma was at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, she passes her neighbors, Josh and Neal Andrews on the narrow sidewalk that led to first block (class). She says they used to be really close friends from her birth to about first grade. Then they went to different schools and grew apart, but every day they’d be the only people on that far end of campus at 8:15, and never once in the five months we saw each other every day did they ever speak to each other. They both pretended the other party didn’t exist. Emma felt like it was their “home turf” and if they wanted to establish a friendship then fine, and if not, that’s fine too, but Emma didn’t want to invade anyone’s world by pushing herself in.
Anyway, Emma hoped He would help “Lacey” find the courage to talk to the guys at church and that “Lacey” already has something in common with these guys, their faith, and maybe He’ll use the connection to create relationships that will help others.
(If you ever saw JCCHS around 2008, it was a very crowded school. I can’t imagine Emma, Josh, and Neal being the ONLY ones anywhere on that campus. Any time before or after school, or between classes, there were kids everywhere.)

May 4, 2009
Emma talks about how “Lacey’s” dance recital sounds like fun, and Emma can’t dance, so she envies “Lacey.” The picture “Lacey” sent of “Lacey” and Nikki was great, and Lacey’s school picture was perfect. Emma wishes she had that good a picture; hers looks fake, but then she generally doesn’t like pictures of herself.
Emma mention’s “Lacey’s” voice recital and says she used to be in choir with Rob and Jordan until out church decided to cut it because there weren’t enough kids. Emma claims she ended up either getting the solos or singing the solos because the other soloists chickened out. Emma, on the other hand, just doesn’t care what people think, and church people are nice, ya know? Gnenerally, with the exception of the L family. Although they go bay a different name in “Lacey’s” town, Emma says she is sure they go to her church, too. The mom will talk your ear off about her kids, but doesn’t want to hear anything you have to say. The dad will sign up to be on the Grounds Crew, but he never actually shows up. The daughter is Emma and “Lacey’s” age and one of their least favorite people. She is very into fashion and has to comment (very rudely) on anything you wear that is not ‘in style.’ The younger son always gets into trouble and ends up blaming it on someone else. The mom will always defend him in this, even though he is claiming it’s Will’s fault and Will is one of the best behaved kids in church. Emma is sure by now that “Lacey” knows exactly who she is talking about….every church has a family like that.

(Emma knew the L’s daughter (whom I will refer to as LD) from about 2nd grade until we left the church when Emma was in 10th grade. The two girls NEVER got along, and Emma frequently complained about this young lady being mean to her, saying something she wore was “so last year” or telling her that she probably got her dress on clearance. When the two girls went to church camp one year, Emma complained that Mrs. L sent her daughter a box with things for all the girls in the cabin, but LD hoarded the items and wouldn’t share with the other girls.
I am a little curious as to know Emma would know that Mr. L never actually showed up as a member of the Grounds Crew. Mr. L was actually a member of the vestry and well as in charge of the Grounds, and people worked on the grounds at all hours, not when church was going on, so I don’t know how Emma would have any idea that this man never actually showed up.)

SEFF 2009

The next part of the letter Emma tells “Lacey” about being at SEFF the previous week. SEFF is the Southeast Electric Flight Festival held at Hodges Hobbies in Americus, Ga, the largest RC (remote control) airplane event in the word, and Emma just happens to be the Assistant Director, as well as the only girl on the staff of 50+ people, she says. She started going there three years ago, and her dad (who’d been on staff at SEFF) had asked Jeff Meyers, the director, to put her on staff too. Jeff somewhat reluctantly agreed. He was always pulling his hair out, so Emma was to be his helper and basically do what he told her. Emma says that in a event with thousands of people, the miscellaneous stuff is a job in itself. Believe her, she knows.

Emma says the first year she went to SEFF was known as Cinderella SEFF. Basically, even though she worked her tail off, she got lucky in a lot of areas. Two people gave her airplanes, just being nice. One was worth about $500, an Extra 360. Emma also won a lot of prizes in the raffle and won another plane in the prize drop.

Emma says her perception of people was really skewed the first year. She was still sort of afraid of the men referred to as the Hodge Hounds that worked for Hodges Hobbies story or help maintain the property. The degree of education, politeness/manners, and general redneck-ness varies greatly among the Hodge Hounds. Mel is a veteran, well educated and generally polite. “No-–hoes” Chris is very southern, thinks manners mean s washing our hands before digging in (he’s never heard of silverware), and thinks that it’s not good unless it has jalapeños on it (this concept is not limited to food, by the way). Emma goes on to say how she used to be scared by the Hodge Hounds, but came to realize how nice they were………….

Emma foes on to say another person she had a very skewed perception of was the director, Jeff Meyers. The first year, Emma thought he was great. He was nice to her and did a great job with the event. He did everything well, and was nice enough to not only pay all the volunteers’ expenses, but gave each of them $150 on top of that. Emma says she was blind to the other side of Jeff. It wasn’t until this year that she began to notice the little things. She goes on to say that Jeff is basically an alcoholic and by the end of the day he can barely form a coherent sentence. He is majorly addicted to chewing tobacco, and there are cans of it everywhere; in his file box, in the cooler, in the boxes of stuff they use for the event… She still thinks Jeff does a great job running the event, but she does not look up to him the way she used to.

Emma talks about how during the event, she does the miscellaneous stuff. She is in the background doing what needs to be done. She doesn’t want to be in the spotlight. But being one of the only teenage girls down there, she always ends up getting some attention that she’d be much happier without. Most of the guys on staff look at me like a daughter or granddaughter, and that’s fine. One of the guys, Mike Deboer (aka the Raffle Nazi, Curmudgeon, or Mean Mike) is even her honorary granddaddy. But some of the men, like thirties or forties actually try to flirt with Emma! Emma just thinks that’s creepy. She can half understand that with guys her age, but beyond that, it just makes her uncomfortable. But, she is staff and she has to deal with the spectators a lot, so she can’t afford to make enemies. It is really a bad situation. She tries to ignore them, but they don’t take the hint. That is when she needs her friend, Jordan. Jordan can handle that. Jordan likes attention and she can take it well. Emma can’t. She’d give anything to have Jordan down there with her.

Emma goes on to describe her duties at SEFF. She is in charge of dealing with and setting up vendors under a huge cover where they can sell their stuff. She is also in charge of scheduling the Noon Demos on Friday and Saturday, which is fun. All sorts of planes fly, and they have some of the best pilots in the world. She doesn’t mention everything because it is boring. She figures “Lacey” doesn’t want to hear about labeling tables and sweeping trailers and telling spectators, for the millionth time that they can NOT use channel 2 on the radio because it is reserved for staff communications. But she does work really hard, 8 hours pretty mjuch everyday even though she is scheduled for two to four. Emma says she got paid better this year. Instead of $150, she and Phill got $350 each. Emma goes on to say how her “rents” don’t pay her for anything, ever, so she is really careful about how she spends her money.
(Phill and I had tried giving Emma an allowance in exchange for a few chores every week, but it was such a battle to get Emma to do her chores, we gave up on this idea. We bought everything she needed or wanted, and gave her money if she was going somewhere, so she didn’t really need an allowance.)

Emma’s next paragraph says there were a couple of other girls on staff this year. Emma says she knows she told “Lacey” that she was the ONLY one, but what she meant was that she was the only one that counted. Jenny Klos and Emma Mason were also on staff. They were both seniors and the only job they had was driving the Courtesy Shuttle (aka golf cart). They didn’t even do that right, according to Emma. They loaded it up with teenagers and drove around until they ran out of gas. Also, they both dressed like the word that is a synonym for “tramp” and starts with a “S.” (Skank?) Emma says she is not going to actually say the word, but it is still true. Those jeans shorts that are about three inches long and very low tank tops or halters—that Emma considers to qualify as the “S” word.

Emma says she was sort of bent out of shape about the girls. She states that she would LOVE to be paid $50 a day to drive a golf cart, but noooooooooooo, she has to do REAL work. She doesn’t think Jenny or Emma have touched a broom in their lives. They certainly wouldn’t sit out in the burning hot sun for two hours to keep the demo pilots on schedule. But Emma did hear Jeff Meyers tell Dave Mason that Emma didn’t really earn $50 a day. He certainly never had that conversation with Phill, so she was happy about that! Emma says that Phill told her the only reason Jenny and Emma were on “staff” at all was because they had to make their dads happy; they can’t afford to lose them and once they saw Phill’s daughter on staff, they wanted their daughters on staff too. Except that they don’t deserve to be on staff and Emma does, in her humble opinion! But Emma thinks Jeff Meyers knew how she was feeling because he even said something to her about not really having a choice, so she understands, but she still resents it.

Emma’s next paragraph complains about a guy who was there making a video of the event, and he was going to put Emma in it, but he didn’t because she doesn’t dress the way Jenny Klos and Emma Mason do. And, you guessed it, they were in the video. Yet more time wasted, Emma adds and, “Oh well, it’s all par for the course….”
(Pretty interesting comments for a child who claims she doesn’t want to be in the spotlight.)

Emma’s next paragraph goes on to say she is happy because Jeff has agreed to put V. a 5th grader on staff the next year, who will be Emma’s assistant.

Emma changes topics and says how she can tell her youth group friends, Jordan and Evan anything because they don’t listen, and then she talks about not finding a postcard to send “Lacey” in Americus, and talks about “Lacey’s” neat handwriting, and how her own handwriting is too loopy and swirly, and she says that “Lacey” is very pretty in her pictures, and then she signs off “Blessings and Love, Emma Kate.”