Letters to “Lacey” Part 20 Gwinnett Young Singers

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Gwinnett Young Singers 2010 under the direction of Lynn Urda.  Emma is in the top row, third female from the left.

Gwinnett Young Singers 2010 under the direction of Lynn Urda. Emma is in the top row, third female from the left.

Part 20 Jan. 19, 2010 (This is the last letter I have that Emma wrote to “Lacey.” By then the girls were texting and facebooking a lot, so I think the letter writing went by the wayside. The letter writing had been pretty much one-sided anyway. Emma often complained about writing to “Lacey,” but “Lacey” didn’t write to her near as much as Emma did. All in all, I think Emma only got a couple of letters from “Lacey” and they were much shorter than Emma’s letters.) Emma starts off saying this will be a short letter. (5 pages) She wants to introduce a new character in her life. Meet………..Donnie (name changed), a junior at Mill Creek, Jord and Rob’s school. He showed up at PetSmart and decided he wanted to volunteer with us. Aunt Janice told Emma to show him the ropes. Emma’s thoughts at the time were: Omigoodness, she knows nothing about this guy except that a) he wears huge diamond earrings and b) he has a ton of tattoos, and c) he is so tall and huge that he looks like he could kill Emma with one hand. Not exactly someone she wants to be showing the store room, break room, etc. to……..aka, someone she has to be alone with. (This part is pretty amusing because Donnie was maybe 5’7 if that, with an average build, definitely not “tall and huge.” But I guess when you are 5’1”………..) Anyway, Emma claims she survived and she tells “Lacey” what she knows about Donnie: that he is from CA and misses it, doesn’t know many people here, is really bad at math……..so much so that Emma’s mom volunteered her to tutor him! Pretty unusual situation, huh? A younger girl helping and older guy with math? Luckily, Emma’s dad has been home for all the tutoring sessions, and he does a lot too…………… (Actually, when Donnie told me he was having trouble with his math, I asked Phill if he could help, not Emma. Emma did end up helping, too, but I never volunteered her to be Donnie’s tutor. Phill was always a math whiz, and Donnie was going to have a difficult time graduating if he did not get through Math. He was a nice young man who loved animals and was very helpful at adoptions. Culturally, being from the L.A. area, he was a fish out of water in Georgia, and I know he was happy when his mom finished her course work and they moved back to CA. Donnie ended up coming up with us a few times after adoptions to get some help with his math. He would have dinner and hang out for a while. ) Jan. 25, 2010 Emma talks about straightening her hair and wanting to feel pretty………talks a little more about Donnie……talks about playing the piano at church……..complains about not being able to get her permit after her dad finally said she could because GAVS attendance doesn’t count towards getting it. Jan. 27, 2010 Emma tells “Lacey” about joining a choir called Gwinnett Young Singers (GYS) which practices Tues. evenings. She talks about Elizabeth, who sat on Emma’s left, saying, “I feel diseased.” So Emma told her she was sorry and asked what was wrong. “No, Not that kind of disease,” Elizabeth responded, “The kind of diseas you get from the slut sitting in front of you.” Emma said she sat there in shock and then cracked up. Amazinigly enough, it made her feel loads better about herself. She says she is evil, but she’s not usualy THAT evil.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy after singing at a Gwinnett Young Singers concert in Lilburn, Ga.

Emma and Johnathan McCravy after singing at a Gwinnett Young Singers concert in Lilburn, Ga.

GWINNETT YOUNG SINGERS (While doing on-line school in 10th grade, Emma was not getting out except for church, not doing anything much except sitting in front of the computer. She had become one of those “unsocilized homeschoolers.” I felt like she really needed to get out more, and my good friend, Sandra Brooks McCravy (Sandi McCravy) had her son Johnathan in Gwinnet Young Singers, and it sounded like a good program. Emma liked music, so I asked her if she wanted to try it, and she did. It was kind of expensive for a once/week choir, and it was about a 40 minute drive, but if Emma enjoyed it, it might be worth it. Emma joined the second for semester or 10th grade. The director, Lynn Urda, did a great job, and the kids had the opportunity to sing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. One of the stories Emma told while in GYS was that she was chosen to do a solo. My goodness, how exciting. Well, not really a solo as it was her and two other girls. Oh, ok. A trio. Hmmmmm. I was kind of surprised at this story because there were so many talented singers in GYS, and while Emma had a pretty voice, she didn’t have a lot of training, but ok, whatever. Needless to say, this “solo” never materialized. Emma later claimed Ms. Urda had changed her mind. I would be willing to bet there was never a “solo” to begin with. For 11th grade, Phill and I decided to put Emma in Jefferson High School because she’d become so withdrawn, had quit going to the church where she claimed to be sexually abused, and we’d changed churches, but the new church was very small and didn’t have a youth group (Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Flowery Branch, Ga.). Emma didn’t have any friends to hang out with, so she was pretty isolated. Phill and I thought the only option was to put her back in school. At Jefferson High School, Emma signed up for Drama, and we figured she’d be busy with that. When she was a Jackson County High School, Emma stayed after school every day when they were working on a play. I did not think Emma would be able to do both Drama and GYS. Emma did not get chosen for a part in the JHS play, and while she continued with drama class, she hated the teacher, Roger Bright, and claimed he played (no pun intended) favorites. Obviously, Emma was not one of his favorites. Since Emma didn’t get a part in the play, she again wanted to return to GYS, so I told her she could call Ms. Urda and ask if it was not too late, on the condition that she would not be able to go on the GYS trip in January to Savannah because she could not miss school. (Emma was throwing up a lot in 11th grade and missed a lot of school.) Emma gave me a LOT of snotty teenage attitude. A little while later she told me she called Ms. Urda and was told she could not return to GYS if she didn’t go on the trip. I asked her when she called, as I hadn’t seen her do it, and Emma said she had just called. I asked Emma to let me see her cell phone, and she quickly said, “I used the home phone.” Then she told me she got Ms. Urda’s phone number out of my phone. I knew immediately this was a lie because I did not have Ms. Urda’s phone number in my phone. Emma knew she was caught in a lie. I just said fine then, if she didn’t want to call Ms. Urda, obviously being in Gwinnet Young Singers was not that important to her.) Jan. 28, 1020 Emma talks about going to church the day before and “he” wasn’t there  (At this point, Emma was still hung up on Evan, but she also had a crushes on Rob and on a young man named Nick, so I don’t know who she was referring to when she said, “he.”) Emma tells a funny story about our priest, Fr. T. Emma and Fr. T. were having a discussion about the piano and the organ. Fr. T. told Emma he wanted to show here something and then pointed out on the organ pedals like he’d never seen them before. “Three pedals here, three pedals there! See?” Emma told Fr. T that all the pedals did different things and he said, “No they don’t. “ “Yes they do. Listen to this…..now listen to this………..” Fr. T. said, “No way! Let me try!” So Emma played the organ while our priest was lying on the floor, pushing the pedals to see what they did just like a big kid. (Was this story true? I doubt it. I can’t imagine that our priest had NEVER noticed that there were pedals on the organ before.) Emma goes on to complain about the priest’s son, Trevor, being in her Faith Formation class. She complains about her friend Coral giving her some hand-me-down shoes since Coral wore a 9 and Emma wore a 7 ½ and how they had to resurrect the whole Emma-Has-Tiny-Feet discussion that they’d had the month before. Emma put her foot beside Rob’s and he exclaimed, “Whoa! Dude! You’re, like, kid-sized!” Then Emma says Rob said he liked her belt and that made her happy because she didn’t think he normally noticed what she was wearing. (I hate to tell you Emma, but a 7 1/2 isn’t exactly tiny.” Emma goes on to talk about the drama between Rob and a girl he met at the youth retreat called “Happeneing.” Emma says she can’t wait for Valentine’s day because that Sunday, Nick will play the organ and then they will rotate on and off. Unfortunately, Jordan is jealous of Emma because she gets to talk to Nick more than Jordan does. Jordan likes him, or at least she flirts with him, but Nick talked to Emma for like a half hour before church the other week. He is really nice and cute and a senior, and it seemed like he was paying a lot more attention to her that month than he ever did before…………… “Blech,” she says, guys are confusing and she asks “Lacey” to remind her why they deal with them. Ok, she is going to stop thinking about this and send this letter. Love ya! Emma-Kate

Letters to “Lacey” Part 19 — Completed 7/26/15

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma stretching with joy on Christmas morning, 2007.  Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma stretching with joy on Christmas morning, 2007. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Pneumonia and Immunosuppressed, Oh, My!

Part 19
Jan. 8, 2010
(Emma begins an 8 page letter to “Lacey.”)

Emma says she is finally starting her horrendously late letter about Christmas break. Yes, she knows it is really late…and she thinks she will tell things in no particular order, just as she remembers them because it doesn’t really matter.

Emma’s birthday was December 19th, ahd the youth group had “drop and shop” babysitting at the church and a little part for Emma. “Jord” wasn’t there,, so Emma was disappointed. Emma tells “lacey she wishes “Lacey” lived down here because she needs more girlfriends.

On Sunday, the youth group went caroling at a hospice. She says she had told “Lacey” about that, riding with Evan (Don’t tell her mom!). Emma said she found out Rob didn’t have a clue what a hospice center was……when they were there, they had the following conversation:
“Hey, what do they do here anyway?”
“It’s a hospice. It’s where they take care of people who are dying.”
Wrong thing to say. Rob panicked. “What? What are they dying of?? Can I, like, catch it???”
“Rob! No! You know they wouldn’t put us in danger. Cancer, old age, you know, stuff like that.”
“Oh, ok. When will they die?”
“Good grief Rob! I don’t know. Soon.”

Thankfully this whispered conversation was cut short by Father T’s announcement that caroling would begin.

Emma talks about singing in various places at the hospice, and in a room which may have been a family waiting room, there were a bunch of people and they were really quiet. Emma said it was like there was an invisible divide: “us and them.” There was one middle aged guy, standing close to their circle, leaning back on a chair, just watching, and Emma thought about going over to give him a songbook, but she wasn’t sure if that would be the right thing to do, and then the little girl she babysat, who wouldn’t even look a strange man in the eyes, walked over and gve this guy her songbook and helped him find the page. Oh, “Lacey,” Emma was so proud of her. Everyone started handing out songbooks and sweets that they’d brought with them. A lot of families started crying and it was really amazing.

After the hospice, they stopped at a coffee shop that had a piano. Emma tells a story about a little girl admiring the sweets and when she took off her coat, she was completely bald. Emma figured she was going through chemo or something.

There was a piano in the shop, and the little girl walked over and played a few simple tunes, and then she and Evan played a duet. The little girl’s dad video taped the whole thing with his phone. Emma was talking to the mom telling her how amazing her daughter was with her musical talent, and how surprised she was to see her walk up to a group of teens and seem perfectly at ease. Emma deliberately didn’t say anything about her hair or her health. The mom started crying and told Emma how this was going to be her last Christmas because the chemo wasn’t working. That was why her hair was coming back. They’d stopped treatment. Emma didn’t tell anyone else that. They just went on, but that stuck with her. All the perfect planning: this little place had a piano. She and Evan knew the same music. And in the right-before-Christmas rush, they all happened to be in the same place at the same time…..


(Some great storytelling!! Is any of it true? I doubt it. I guess I could look up Rob and ask him if he really didn’t know what a hospice was. I could call the little girl’s grandmother (whom Emma babysat for) who was also on the trip and ask her about the songbooks. And isn’t it an amazing coincidence that after visiting a hospice, they stop at a coffee shop and meet a little girl dying of cancer. Funny how Emma didn’t tell anyone else about what the mother told her.  Ummmm, maybe because it didn’t happen?  Maybe because there was no little, bald child with terminal cancer at the coffee shop?  So, readers, what do you think? )

Jan. 12, 2010

On to happier topics, says Emma. On Mon. they went to the church of Common Ground, a homeless ministry in Atlanta. They have a foot washing service every Monday. Evan and Rob got to wash feet, but Emma was too immune-suppressed (pneumonia)XXXXX and the other girls were too wimpy, so they were the only ones. Emma led Coral and Alex in the kitchen duties: cutting cake and serving it, fixing slices of bread with peanurt butter on them, serving coffee and juice…and they fixed bag lunches for them to take with them on their way. They passed all the stuff out to the people getting their feet washed. It was mostly Emma doing the passing though because Coral is afraid of homeless people and Alex spilled coffee once and declared she’d just watch from that point.


(Excuse me? Emma was immunosuppressed? And what’s this about pneumonia???? Pretty funny. Maybe Emma heard about immunosuppression at the hospice, if there were cancer patients who’d previously been on chemo. Pneumonia? Emma had pneumonia when she was two years old. Except for her frequent vomiting due to “DDT poisoning”, which I will address in a later post, and a bout of Rotovirus, Emma was a healthy child. At thhe time of this letter, Emma did not have Pneumonia, nor was she  immunosuppressed. Perhaps she was one of those “wimpy girls” who didn’t want to touch someone’s nasty ol’ feet?)

After they were there a few hours, they went to dinner at a little pizza place and then went to the Cathedral and walked the labyrinth. Emma explains what a labyrinth is to “Lacey.” …….

On the ride home, Emma rode with Rob, Evan, and Coral, and the drivers, but she hasn’t mentioned their names, so don’t worry about them. Rob does his “Imma a little teapot” rap, and later, texts it to Emma, so she texts him back, “He’s my Prince of Peace/ And I will live my life for HIM. (Michael W. Smith) Love ya too.”

Emma says Christmas was ok. She and Rob were the senior acolytes at the midnight service, and Evan and Jord were at the early service, so she missed seeing them.

Emma talks about Rob and Evan coming over so they could work on their Happening Stuff (a church teen retreat). ……….. They ended up playing on her computer, and she was afraid they would read her letters to “Lacey” but fortunately those are all password protected. ……..

Emma talks about how the church organist quit and she and Nick are filling in. She played her first full church service and made a few mistakes but did pretty well.

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On Friday night, Emma’s friend Kayla came down. Emma reminds “Lacey” that Kayla live in N. Ga. with her grandparents and only comes down to her mom and common-law-step-dad’s place occasionally. Kayla always invites Emma over when she’s down because she’s the only person Kayla knows down here and she’s always bored out of her mind. So, where do they go? Kayla, her mom, Jeff (step-dad), three neighbor guys and one neighbor guys wife and Emma all go to a sports bar. Yes, a bar. They got there about 6:30 and didn’t get home until after midnight. This is what Emma doesn’t get about Kayla’s mom. She sees her daughter less than once a month, and when she does see her, she takes her and her friend to a bar. Kayla and Emma didn’t even sit with them. They sat in a little booth by themselves, which was fine with them. They ate and hung out in the little kids’ game room till it closed at like 10:30 pm. Emma was beaten by a 5 year old at air hockey. Ya, she say, sports are not her gift.

After that, they sat in a nearly deserted restaurant and had Shirley Temples while they played Monopoly on Kayla’s iPhone. Fun. When they finally decided to leave, Emma and Kayla locked themselves in her room so that the four drunk guys stumbling around the house didn’t come in. They talked and then went to sleep. Emma says she feels bad for Kayla. She can’t imagine if Sheree Barwise were her mom. She’s not a parent. She is more like ===========================================================================
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(I especially wanted to highlight Emma’s paragraphs about Kayla Benifield Weaver, Sharee Benifield Barwise, and Jeff Barwise. On Dec. 1, 2013, I wrote a post about Kayla and her family called Emma and Kayla – With Friends Like This. At the time of that writing, these letters to “Lacey” were put away, and I had only skimmed them, so I never noticed that Emma had written to “Lacey” some of the things she said to me about Kayla, her mom Sheree, and Jeff. I have no idea what is true and what is not. Obviously, if I’d known Kayla’s parents and friends were drunk and stumbling around the house, I would not have allowed Emma to stay at Kayla’s mother’s home. I did not know Sheree well, but she seemed like a nice person, and to be honest, I can’t picture her allowing things to go on as Emma described. As for the sports bar, it was a place called Jeffrey’s Sport’s Bar in Braselton, Ga. I’ve never been inside, but have been told it is pretty much like a Chili’s or Applebee’s kind of place.)

Jan. 15, 2010

Emma talks about babysitting, when the mother of the little girl that Emma frequently babysat called and asked if we could keep her on short notice. She tells some cute kid stories and then mentions how, sadly, she was reminded her of Evan and Rob talking about girls. It mad her sad, and she wants “Lacey’s” honest opinion. When Evan and Rob were over, they talked about just about everything. Emma was not participating in this particular conversation, but was in the room, and her room is not large enough for you to have a conversation and somebody else in the room not hear it. She can’t remember the exact quotes now, since it was almost two weeks ago, but something about how “Maura” (the girl who brought drugs to the church teen retreat)looked cute when she dyed her hair red –it’s a different color every week—and Jordan doesn’t wear enough makeup, etc., etc. Emma was shocked. Most girls she knows aren’t that bad at judging people purely by their appearance. Emma thought girls were supposed to be worse about that kind of thing. She almost said, “Well, while you’re on the subject, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong with me?” But that would have sounded really nasty—which is totally how she meant it—and she didn’t want to start a debate, so she didn’t say it. They didn’t say anything about Emma, but it’s like geez, she wonders what they say when she’s not there. She did not expect to hear that from them; she thought they were better than that. And with Emma in the room!!! Do they just not think about how that must sound? And how she must feel to listen to it?

Emma asks “Lacey” to tell her honestly, does she think Emma’s blowing this out of proportion or was her reaction reasonable? Once Emma finds out something bad about someone, like they are on drugs, Emma can’t find them attractive no matter what they look like. But apparently appearance makes up for everything else in their books. Ok, Emma doesn’t know that, but that’s sure what they made it sound lie. If I dye my hair and get my braces off and wear more make up will they start likeing me for who I am? It’s not worth it, she knows, but she’s just wondering. Or venting. Emma just wants to be loved for herself. Is that too much to ask? Or do you have to be pretty to be loved for who you are?

Yes, Emma knows that was pretty depressing. Sorry. She knows one day she will find someone who loves her for who she is, but she wishes she knew when…or who. Some days she feels like she is not even worth it. Prime example: so this random girl from her AP Psychology class decides she hates Emma for no reason! Here’s what happened. Kayla (Kayla Benifield Weaver) e-mailed Emma on GAVS (on-line school) and she’s like, “So this girl in my AP Lit class has been complaining about ‘that prissy Emma-Kate girl’ in her virtual class for like 10 minutes now.
Emma had no clue who she meant, so she asked, “Who? Why?”
Kayla said, “Her name is Jordan Ford. She’s upset that you got more discussion responses than she did. Jealously thing, I think…”
And you know that is something Emma totally can’t help. So, she thought this girl was nice, but it turns out that she hates Emma and Emma didn’t even do anything to her!!

(An interesting side note here. Maura (name changed) was a young lady whom Emma never liked at church. We met when the girls were fairly young, elementary school age, and they were the same age. Emma frequently complained about her and would tell me mean things that she said to Emma, and being a Mama Bear, of course I thought Maura was a mean little girl to say such things to MY daughter: Asking if Emma got her new dress on clearance…saying that Emma’s new necklace was sooooo “last year.” Etc. Were any of these comments true? Who knows? As the kids got older, Emma liked Maura even less because she was a cheerleader, very pretty, popular with boys, etc.
Emma talks about Maura’s hair being dyed a different color every week. This was not true. At the time Emma wrote this, Maura rarely came to church. Also, she was blonde, and other than maybe some highlights, I don’t really remember her dying her hair. It’s possible that she did, and perhaps she even tried dying it red. I don’t really remember, but our church was not that big, and since Phill and I were frequently helping with the youth group, there weren’t many kids we didn’t know. I’m pretty sure I’d remember it if Maura’s hair had been a different color every week.

One story I remember about the trip to Camp Mikell, where Maura’s parents were called to come get her, supposedly because of drugs, was Emma telling me that Maura was in another building, up the hill from where Emma was, but Emma got up one morning and saw Maura and a counselor outside. She said the counselor was dumping out a bag of white powder on to the ground and then poured out Maura’s booze on top of the powder on the ground. I questioned this story because I’d been to the camp and the buildings are not that close together, and I knew which buildings the girls were in, so I couldn’t picture Emma being able to see that scene well, if at all. Also, assuming drugs are expensive, if Maura had a bag of white powder, I would guess it would be very small, and wondered how Emma could see all this from down the hill. Did Emma see anything, or did it just make a great story? I’m guessing the latter. )

Ok looking on the bright side, the youth group is going to Winter Jam, a Christian concert, on Sunday. Oh, and she didn’t finish telling “Lacey” about her day with babysitting the 6 year old………..

Emma tells one story about holding hands and “dancing” with little T. at church, in the parish hall, and seeing a glimpse of herself in the windows that reflected like mirrors. For a minute, for the first time her her life, she actually thought she looked beautiful, and she thought, “Maybe , just maybe, this is why he loves you…” ………..her mind went back to the Sock Hop, and she danced with Evan like that…………she saw him watching them across the room and wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Probably not…but it’s a nice thought.


Jan. 18, 2010

Emma will email this letter today. Emma will email this letter today. Emma will email this letter today. It is getting close to 11 pages again. So she will email this letter today. Now that she has that established, going on…..

Emma talks about how the youth group missed the concert and went to a movie instead. They saw Sherlock Holmes, which she says was awful and tells “Lacey” not to even rent that one. She says she had to explain the movie to Alex (Jordan’s younger sister who is about 3 years younger than Emma.) and tells some funny stories about the kids.

Emma tells about hugging her friends good night and complains about being 5”1 because she feels so short. She claims she is the shortest one on the group………

Emma signs off: Love ya!! Emma-Kate

(As I mentioned before, Emma was 5’ 3 ½”, not 5’1”. )

Two More Letters, but first…….

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

July 19, 2015

Two More Letters to Go, but first……. There is a gap between Emma’s letter from Oct. 19, and her following letter dated Jan. 8. 2010. It is possible the girls were e-mailing and not writing, and I know they were texting a lot because Emma had always shared some of her news from “Lacey”. If you’ve read my previous posts, you already know that a lot of what Emma told me was not true, such as “Lacey’s mother being on death’s door with breast cancer….. I also heard a lot about “Lacey” and Aaron. Emma loved telling me about their relationship troubles. It was all very dramatic. From what Emma told me, Aaron was a freshman in college while “Lacey” was a freshman in high school. They met through church, on a mission trip, I believe. There was lots of drama about trying to keep her parents from finding out about her feelings for Aaron because they would not approve of the age difference, and Aaron and Lacey didn’t date at that point, but only saw each other at church. Later on, Emma told me about Aaron having dinner with a group of friends at a restaurant, and his old girlfriend showed up. He confessed to “Lacey” that they talked for a long time out in the parking lot after dinner, and he kissed her. Emma really hated him for that. I have never met “Lacey” and have only spoken with her mother. I have no idea if the stories about Aaron are true or not. Since Emma lied so much about “Lacey’s” rape, attempted suicide, and her mother’s breast cancer……, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the drama about Aaron was made up too.

Also, just after Emma’s last writing in Oct., Evan seemed to lose interest in Emma. They spent a lot of time together at the church hayride. I don’t remember the exact date, but it was around Halloween. They hayride was held at our deacon’s farm, and the adults visited, and we all cooked hot dogs over a fire while the kids rode around the farm several times on the hayride. Emma and Evan sat together and he had his arm around her. It was all very sweet. I remember getting into bed that night and Emma came in and laid down on the bed next to me to talk about the evening. She was a happy, young girl in love. She loved telling me stories about what the kids said and did, and especially what Evan said or did…….

Church Hay Ride 2009.

Church Hay Ride 2009.

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride.  Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I loved this photo of Emma and Phill at the cookout/Hay Ride.  In this picture you can see how sweet and loving Emma looks with her dad.  It was shortly after this picture was taken that Emma started complaining about her dad, saying she didn’t like him, and he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” daily.   Phill Roey, Phillip Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

I’m pretty sure I know why Evan lost interest in Emma, but it is very personal, and believe it or not, my goal is not to embarrass and humiliate Emma. It’s not something that needs to be shared in this blog and doesn’t relate to the horrible things Emma has done. My only goal is to tell the truth. This is something I would have liked to work out with Emma privately but because she threatens me with a restraining order if I contact her, I feel my only alternative is this blog.

The last time I heard from Emma was Jan. 14, 2014. Just before that, I received an e-mail from Emma about breaking up with Tyler Buchheim. Someone pointed out something to me recently that Emma and Tyler may not have broken up. They may have written me to make me think that they broke up, and now that Tyler is or has graduated college, they may be actually getting married. I’m not going to mention what was shared with me. I do have some things to say about Emma’s upcoming marriage, but that is for a different post. In my previous posts, I referred to Tyler as “Bud the Boyfriend.” Since some of you may not have read about Emma and Tyler, here is a short version of it:

Emma met Tyler on line. He was an architecture student at Notre Dame University. He came down to visit her in Ga., and she went on vacation with the Buchheim family to Hilton Head. She convinced his family that she was not safe at home and they invited Emma to move up to Liberty Township, Ohio and in with Tyler’s grandparents, as Tyler’s mother did not want the raging hormones under the same roof. Emma began telling people she was engaged, but did not expect these stories to get back to her mother. I contacted Sherry Buchheim, Tyler’s mother, and in addition to telling Sherry what Emma did here in Ga., lying about “Lacey,” and claiming to have been sexually abused by a priest and then physically abused by her mother, I also shared stories that Emma told about Tyler, his younger sister, and his parents. As to whether or not Emma and Tyler broke up, I do not know. They may have pulled another one over on Emma’s mother, but I don’t really care at this point. I took Tyler’s name out of the blog when I thought they’d broken up, but now that I’ve heard something to lead me to believe I was wrong, I will put his name back in and leave it until I find out otherwise. Here is that e-mail Emma sent when she claimed Tyler broke up with her:

“Well, I have to say, congratulations. I never imagined you could destroy my life so completely, but you have. You win. You’ve proven that no matter how hard I try to escape your damage and rebuild my life, you will still find a way to hurt me. And now you’ve taken away the most important, sweetest, kindest person in my life. Yes, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to know that all this crap got to be too much for Tyler, and he dumped me. In your twisted mind are we somehow even now, or will you continue destroying my life? I don’t even know what else you can do, really. I know now that I’ll never be able to have a relationship, because you’ll ruin that. You’ll stalk my schools, my jobs, and anything else I ever do. What’s your endgame? What do you want from me? What the hell do I have to do to get you to leave me alone and stop hurting innocent people with your inane blog??? And please don’t say you want to be a mother to me, because publicly degrading your child definitely crosses the point of no return on that, as I know I’m not the only one to tell you. Oh, and stalking my boyfriend and his family til they dumped me? That didn’t score points either. “

At one time, I was not going to post that e-mail because I wanted to give Emma the chance to clean up her act. From the beginning, I told Emma and her dad I would take down the blog and keep this between the three of us, but we needed to deal with it. Since Emma chose to continue with her lying, I changed my mind, so there it is. I e-mailed Emma back and told her I would not do this through e-mail and she could call me to discuss it. I then received an e-mail from Katherine Smith. (Emma goes by Katie Smith on Facebook, last I heard. If you are going to change your name to hide your indiscretions, be sure to choose something common.) Here is that e-mail:

January 8, 2014

RE: Email Message

DO NOT contact me again, in any form, at any time. Forms of contact include (but are not limited to): phone calls, voicemails, text messages, email messages, messages sent through a postal service, and physical/verbal in-person contact. Again, as of today, the eighth of January in two thousand and fourteen, I am requesting that you DO NOT contact me ever again, in any form. If you contact me again, I will take legal action against you.

Emma Katherine Roey

Emma had already sent me a “drop dead” letter when Phill and I were divorced, so this second one was no surprise.

A few months ago, someone asked me if Phill knew how lucky he was that what Emma did to me could have just as easily been done to him. Then, recently, a friend, who went through this whole horrible ordeal with me, and is someone whom I will always treasure for being there for me, said something about how Emma’s goal was to split up her parents. Who knows why, but first she tried to turn me against Phill by claiming that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” every day, and complaining about the way he touched her. I have wondered if I had taken the bait, if Emma would have accused her dad of sexual abuse rather than the priest. When I would not allow Emma to talk that way about her dad, she came up with the story about being sexually molested by the priest, and when that went too far, she had to stop it and came up with the story about her mother physically abusing her. By getting her mother out of the house, Emma got all the freedom and control she could ever want. By threatening to run away if her dad made her go to counseling with her mother, Emma had her dad right where she wanted him. Blood is thicker than water, and a daughter is blood, while a wife is only water. With all the lies and documentation I have about Emma’s lies, Phill knows the truth, but won’t discuss Emma. He is definitely not the man I thought I was married to. For someone who was proud to say he was eligible to join MENSA, you just have to wonder. The first time Phill told me he could have joined MENSA had he wanted to, we were pretty young, and me being of only average intelligence, I have to admit, I didn’t even know what it was. I wonder if Emma is eligible too. I always said she got her smarts from her dad.

Letters to “Lacey” Part 18 *********(Completed 7/17/15)************


If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others. As of now, Emma’s planning on getting married on Sept. 19, 2015.

Part 18
Oct. 5, 2009
(Emma starts another 7 page letter to “Lacey.”)
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Emma tells “Lacey” she had a pretty good weekend. She was supposed to babysit T. on fri, but her mom was too tired to go to the church book club, so Emma went. The group was talking about “blips” in life when something goes wrong and changes your life such as bad marriages, bad parents, divorce, etc. Emma says she likes listening but pretty much kept quiet since she hadn’t read the book and didn’t have enough life experience to comment. We took a break to get food, and them Emma talks about Evan’s mom, Ms. M. saying to her, “Emma, I bet you’re sitting there thinking this is never going to happen to you, and she said it really sharply, but she’s like that to everybody, so Emma doesn’t take it personally. Emma says she was actually think that Annie D’s bracelet was pretty and she’d never seen her wear it to book club before, not that Emma would admit what she was thinking. Emma says she told Ms. M. how she’d been thinking how nice it was to be in a group of ladies and how we all seemed to have a bond even though some of us didn’t know each other that well. Emma says she feels like Ms. M. is attacking her, even though she thinks that is just how she is…

Emma goes on to say that o Saturday, they practiced at church all day long on their skit for the sock hop. Jordan is great at choreographing, so she told everyone what to do. They have a rough plan now, but need a few more rehearsals. Emma says she has a great costume—a cheerleading outfit from the fifties that Aunt Janice made—yes literally sewed every stitch herself—when she was in high school. It fits Emma perfectly. She wore it to church to make an announcement and to just generally draw attention to herself. Then she dragged everyone who was in church (Alex, Rob, Evan) up to the front during announcements to invite everyone to the dance. Evan and Rob were acolyting, so they were already up front….and when they went up for Communion, they were kneeling at the altar and Emma’s dad whispered, “Evan’s staring at you….Emma, look, why is he staring at you…” And Emma said “Daddy, its ok!! Be Quiet!!” As she later pointed out, who wouldn’t be staring at someone in a fifties cheerleading uniform anyway? Daddy’s not that observant, so he believed Emma. Evan always watches Emma, she says, but no one else usually notices, or at any rate, they don’t comment…..and if Daddy notices, he comments.

Ok, she sort of got sidetracked there. Emma says. The talks about finding 4 traffic cones and makes fun of Jordan for telling them to, “Make a circle with these!” and mentions pointing out to Jordan that they made a square, not a circle.
Emma talks about the Blessing of the Animals service and says she doesn’t understand people who aren’t used to animals. The youth group were supposed to be doing a dog wash for a fundraiser, and Emma claimed that Evan was supposed to dry the animals, but just draped a towel around a dog and asked “Is that right?”

Oct. 12, 2009

Emma apologizes for not sending this letter last week and says she will finish it and send it tomorrow, she hopes. She talks about acolyte training, which they had the day before, and the new junior acolytes which she is excited about. The new ones are enthusiastic and clueless so they do whatever Emma tells them very cheerfully. She complains about Fr. T’s son being book bearer, and says she is never going through that again. She complains that Trevor (name changed) is bipolar…..severe bipolar…and she thinks he has a problem with women, particularly as authority figures. He does not and has never liked Emma or Jordan,, and threw a royal fit about getting robed………….So while Emma is dealing with an eighth grader throwing a hissy fit, she’s also trying to get two acolytes who have no clue what they are doing to light candles. And of course, it’s a Baptism, so there are a ton of extra candles, all of which have to be lit in the correct order. Emma doesn’t mind helping a couple of the acolytes who are new and trying their hardest but Trevor is a different story. Emma claims she told an adult that she is never serving with him again. If he won’t accept her as team captain, there is really no point in trying. She is too type-A assertive/aggressive to put up with that, and no one’s going to be happy.

Emma talks about the Peace, when, congregants greet each other and hug or shake hands, and how she was thankful her parents sat on an asile so she go see them without making her way through a row of people who all wanted to talk to her. She was saying goodbye and getting ready to run back up front when she heard her name and of course, she’d know his voice anywhere, even in a room full of talking people. She spun around and was in his arms, not that she minds, but remember this is right besider her parents, so of course they had a field day with that one. Mother was gleeful and daddy was sulky/pouty………… Emma says she is not sure what is going on! She has a list in her head why she thinks he loves her vs. why he doesn’t. the first list goes something like this: he says he loves her. He texts her to ask her questions he already knows the answers to. In church he somehow always ends up sitting where she can see him and he can see her even when that means not sitting with his mom. He watches her all the time and the only time he’s not standing or sitting by her is if her parents are around. She calls to ask him one question which everyone else has answered in 5 seconds and they end up talking for 20 minutes about random, inconsequential, irrelevant stuff. The second list: He hasn’t asked her out. Sometimes he won’t even look at her if her parents are around. She knows his brother hates her (he hates everyone at church, but still) and she has no idea what to make of his mom. And he has no reason to like her anyway!

Soooo, Emma doesn’t know what to think! Oh and after church we went to a brunch at Chateau Elan, which has really good and really expensive food, and listened to talk about stewardship and pledging. Emma claims Ms. M., Evan’s mom, was one table over and she swears that every time she looked up, Ms. M. was staring at her.
Emma goes on to talk about whom we were sitting with at Chateau Elan and how she served at the wedding of a couple there and how Jordan was in love with the son of the husband…………

(I wouldn’t say Emma’s dad was “sulky/pouty” over her and Evan, nor was I gleeful. It was nice to see Emma happy, and since she talked about Evan all the time, like I said earlier, it wasn’t exactly a secret. The whole church saw them together, but most of us were adult enough to know it was young love and didn’t necessarily mean we should expect wedding bells!)

Oct. 15, 2009
Emma talks about going to Wed. night Sunday school and says she thinks it’s cute how Evan starts out on the other side of the room from her, next to Rob, and within five minutes, he comes to get something off a shelf behind Emma and sits down right beside her for the rest of class. She doesn’t know if anyone else notices, but she does, and it makes her happy.

……..in class they were talking about the part of the Gospel where Jesus calls a certain group of people hypocrites, and Ms. Shanna added, “we can see a lot of hupocrites in history…” and knowing that she and Ms. Greeson (the other teacher) agree with Emma, she feels the need to add, “Or prominent political figures.” And that got everyone laughing…….Emma says everyone there, except maybe Molly, know Emma’s opinion of the President.

Emma mentions how she likes both her teachers. They are both young, with young children, and agree with her politically, and they are just really nice. They treat her with respect, and Ms. Shanna informed Trevor that Emma is one of the most mature people she knows and he will treat her as an adult while he is in her class. They have a lot of art materials in the classroom and they are supposed to be doing something while they are talking, but Emma never does, so she just sits. She will never be happy with anything she draws, paints, etc. There is always some detail that bothers her, so she just sits. She wonders what they think about that. Next week she may pick up a piece of paper and just sit there with it. Just to make it look like she is thinking about doing something. Even though she never actually would. She doesn’t want them to think she’s not participating or that she thinks she is too good for it. She actually not good enough to do art. Even stringing beads. Everyone’s made cross necklaces to wear while they’re in the room, but she knows she wouldn’t be happy with the one she made, so she doesn’t make one.

Emma complains, “It’s so hard, “Lacey!’” She is having problems with walls again. She loves him, but she is afraid to love him. It was fine to like him when she thought he didn’t like her, but now that she thinks he loves her, it’s scary. Emma thinks about him all the time and then she wonders if he’s thinking about her. And when he looks at her, her heart flies so fast that she feels like she is going to faint she didn’t used to do that because whether she loved him or not, she never thought anything would come of it. Now she always wonders what he’s thinking and she doesn’t know what to say when he talks to her. She always manages to say something semi-intelligent, but then she thinks of a million other things she should have said. She wishes he would tell her he loves her again. Emma has this irrational hope that maybe something will happen tonight (when setting up for the Sock Hop) or tomorrow at the dance. Her parents will be there tomorrow, but not tonight…although she doesn’t really expect anything to happen. She wishes “Lacey” were there. She wishes she could talk to him. Well, no that’s not true. She wishes he would talk to her, except that when he looks at her he blushes and she can’t meet his eyes for more than a second. She wonders if he notices. He notices more about her than she realizes, she does know that. On Monday he brought up something that she’d said like three years ago that she barely even remembers. Emma doesn’t know whether she’s in love with him or not, although she knows he loves her. And she can’t tell her mom that she’s in love and has been since forever because she’d think Emma was silly.

Emma doesn’t care how sweet Aaron is, he is not allowed to think evil things involving “Lacey!”
“The journey from your mind to your hands/is shorter than you’re thinking…” Slow Fade by Casting Crowns.
Ok, Emma says not to worry she is kidding. Sort of. She doesn’t really know Aaron so shee can’t judge him. If he’s good to “Lacey” then Emma likes him. If he breaks her heart, he’s evil and villainous and she hates him to pieces. “Lacey” will have to print a pic of the two of them together and send it to Emma.
(And No, Emma, I never thought you were silly when you were in love with Evan. It was sweet. Love is love whether you are 15 like you were at the time or whether you are an old 48, like I was and still in love with your dad. Love is love, and it was your first serious crush, and a really big deal for you.

And another Casting Crowns Song you used to like, Emma:

She is running

a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

She is trying, but the canyon’s ever widening

In the depths of her cold heart

So she sets out on another misadventure just to find

She’s another two years older

and she’s three more steps behind….

Does Anybody Hear Her by Casting Crowns)

Oct. 17 2009
Emma spends the next three pages talking about Evan and the sock hop. The kids put on the skit they’d been working on, and then Evan pulled Emma on to the dance floor and it was a slow dance and there were only two other couple dancing, so of course Emma feels her parents staring at her. Emma says they danced about the next 7 songs and then one of the little boys started hitting Evan with balloons and he said, “Stop. I’m with my girl.” Emma wonders if she is “his girl” then why hasn’t he asked her out………….

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was I took of Emma dancing with her dad.  Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

One of my favorite pictures from the Sock Hop was this one I took of Emma dancing with her dad. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Phill Roey, Phillip Roey

Oct. 19, 2009

Emma talks about the Corn Maze trip and of course lots and lots about Evan…………sitting next to Evan in the car……….usual teenage girl in love kind of stuff……….wishing she could go back to last Friday night. She was so happy then. It was like everything was different that night. Different isn’t the word. She doesn’t even know that there is a word…and normally Evan wouldn’t hold her hand or put his arm around her, but for some reason it was ok and now they are back in the real world and it’s not ok anymore and she wants it to be ok, but she doesn’t know what to do about it………..Her life revolves around when she will see him next. She wants to have a heart-to-heart with him but is afraid to. She thinks about it all the time. She doesn’t know how much longer she can take this. It is stressing her out and she doesn’t focus on school or anything else for long. She wishes she could talk to someone, but there is no one “here” she can trust.

Thanks for listening! Love ya!
Emma-Kate

(Emma was a little paranoid about her parents “staring” at her.  It wasn’t a large group, and it wasn’t a large room, but Phill and I tried to give Emma some space.  And besides, we really enjoyed watching the adults dance.  Phill and i were to totally uncoordinated people, and the only dancing we did was slow dancing in the privacy of our kitchen!

Now, let me see if I can find that Sock Hop video………….)


Letters to “Lacey” Part 17

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Part 17
The following Day Emma starts another letter to “Lacey.”

Sept.29, 2009

Emma asks “Lacey” how she is and talks about the cool morning…
Emma then complains about going to the mall the day before to pick up her portraits, ugh. Tey are ok. She likes a couple of them, but of course it is the ones she doesn’t like that her parents had wallets and stuff printed of. We also went to Bath and Body Works, and Emma says she needs to stay away from that store. She loves all the pretty smells, but has four different ones….

Emma says that when “Lacey” is down at Christmas, they will go to the mall, and goes on to make fun of her mom, telling “Lacey” that her dad called and asked where we were, and her mother said, “Are we upstairs?” and how the cashier was laughing at her. Emma says when you look outside and see a balcony, obviously we are upstairs.

Emma reminds “Lacey” that they were talking about her parents being nosy. That is why she created a yahoo e-mail account. They don’t know about it, so they don’t snoop in it. Every time she uses it, she deletes it from her history so they wonn’t see it. She only e-mails “Lacey” and a few school friends from it, so she doesn’t think it’s that bad. She would never get into anything bad on the internet or give that address to anyone she didn’t know well, so she doesn’t feel too awful about keeping it secret from them. Also, she’s 90% sure they go through her text messages, so she deletes anything she doesn’t want them to see. It’s nothing bad, just what she told “Lacey” the night before. She wouldn’t want her parents to see that. She does have reason not to trust her parents. They are both awful liars. They can’t keep secrets for a minute. They’re just one of the things that could hurt her, so she doesn’t tell.
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I love how Emma complains about the portraits (previously posted) we got from JC Penney. We had a coupon for $3/sheet of 8”x10”s, 2 5”x7”s, wallets, whatever. The price was very reasonable. When we looked at the proofs, I picked out the photos I wanted, and I let Emma pick out what she wanted. In addition to what we bought, her dad copied and made prints of them with the computer. Once again, Emma just had to find something to complain about, when she had nothing to complain about. It makes such a better story than saying, “My mom let me pick out the prints I wanted.”

The story about me not knowing if I were upstairs or downstairs at the mall may or may not be true. I am not much of a shopper, and I know there were two Bath and Body Works at the Mall of Georgia, however if we were close enough to the front of the store, I believe I would have figured out that we were upstairs. Emma’s poor, stupid mother.

Emma once complained that her dad and I lied to her, and we got into an argument. I told her that we might not tell her things that we did not feel were appropriate for her to know but we did not deliberately lie to her. She went on and on about how oh yes we did, so I asked her what we lied about. Her answer was, “Santa Claus.” So, sue us, Emma.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Sept. 30, 2009

Emma complains again about the cold and says she wishes she could have talked to “Lacey” last night. She complains that for two weeks in a row she has absolutely been unable to focus. Sigh. Not good. She was texting “him” last night, and she thinks she has already told “Lacey” that he will randomly start talking in Spanish, and no one can understand him because Emma is the only other one in Spanish and she is only in her first year. Emma says she is going to have to delete her Inbox soon. It is too full ad she doesn’t want to wade through it to decide what to keep.
Emma says she was asking Evan (aka “him”) to talk to anybody in the youth group that goes to Wednesday night Faith Formation about a project. Emma explains that the church moved Sunday school to Wed nights, and she can’t go because she has Forensics meetings and her mom says it is too much in one night. 
“Si mi amor.”
“Yes,, what???? I’m not that far yet.”
“Yes.”
“No I got that part. What is ‘mi amor’”?
“My love.”
“Love you too. I have to go to a meeting though [sic] I will txt you later.” Only, Emma complains, that she didn’t get to talk to him anymore last night because her meeting ran late and she was tired, but then she couldn’t sleep of course, so hopefully today.
Emma wishes she could fast forward to Saturday because the kids were tomeet at the church for skit practice…..


I would just like to point out another lie when Emma says her mother said “it’s too much in one night .” Poor Emma. Being the victim must be so exhausting. Because Emma really didn’t have any friends, and she quit most activities she tried, I took her to any church activity she wanted to go to, especially the youth group (and if Phill was around, he took her as well). The reason Emma could not go that Wed. night was because her Forensics meetings conflicted with her Faith Formation class, not because her mean ol’ mother said it was too much. It was not possible to do both activities, and she had to attend the Forensic meetings because it was a part of her grade, but doesn’t it sound soooo much more interesting to blame her mother for not getting to see “su amor” (her love).

Emma complains about going to the orthodontist and says she can’t wait to get her braces off (sometime next year). She says she is happy now because her mom says she can go to Faith Formation tonight! She is so happy, but of course she didn’t tell her mother why or act overly excited, but she can tell “Lacey” she is happy!  Except her teeth hurt which makes her not happy. Oh well, nothing is perfect. She is kind of nervous too but no one will ever know that except her and maybe him. Why can’t she feel as assured as she acts? If only she was a good enough actress to fool herself, that would really be something… Oooh, she almost doesn’t want to go tonight. He doesn’t think she is going because she didn’t know she was going until this morning. She knows he will be there though. Why does life have to be so darn complicated? And she didn’t tell mother about anything last night, so does she need to tell her before we go? She doesn’t think she is going to. She doesn’t think she will bring it up.

Emma says she is totally messed up. She is happy, but not happy. She is nervous, but excited. This is silly, but for once she doesn’t know how to stop being silly. Of course, she can cover it up with acting, but she can’t hide it from herself. Acting is how she builds her wall. She builds a facade so people think they know her and then she carefully adds to it so they never think to look under it. Sigh. She is going to go. She should look forward to it. Be Happy. Be Happy. Emma needs to be happy and bubbly and everything else she wants people to think she is.

Emma says she is so hyper. She wants to go and she has to wait three whole hours, during which she will be absolutely useless because she is totally not concentrating. Maybe while everyone’s coming in she can slip outside with the little kids and see him without her mom. Assuming we get there first. She will have to try to discreetly get her mom to leave early. Set the clocks ahead? Hmmm, too complicated….

Well, Emma says she was more honest there than she usually is, which she almost regrets She wants to just take out this whole page, but she will not. Because “Lacey” is not going to hurt her and her parents are never going to see this. So there is nothing to be afraid of. Emma tells “Lacey” to let her know what is going on with her!! And Aaron!!
Love ya!!
Emma-Kate


Ahhhh, young love and teen angst all rolled up into one. I don’t remember why we went to Faith Formation that particular night. My guess would be that Emma’s Forensics meeting was cancelled or postponed. I’m also not sure about Emma trying to discretely see Evan without her mom. When we got to the church, I always went and sat with the adults and she went off with the youth. Emma talked about Evan at home all the time at hone, so it’s not like it was a big secret. Everyone at church saw the two of them together frequently, so it wasn’t a secret there either.

Thank You!


If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thaks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

As many of you already know, I am undergoing surgery to repair two broken bones from an accident that occurred a week ago. It has been a long, painful week, and I am looking forward to being on the road to healing and getting back to my life. I will be out of work for at least 6 weeks, so I should be able to get the “Letters to Laura” section complete, and maybe more. And it will all be done with my left hand!

I have been truly blessed by my family, friends, and co-workers who have been there for me during this difficult time. My neighbor was with me at the hospital after the accident, my sister was with me at the dr’s and through surgery, a coworker drove 20+ miles out of her way, one way, to take me to a July 4th party. A friend took me out for dinner and margaritas the night before surgery, and my hairdresser has provided me with free shampoos while I am recovering. Several neighbors whom I didn’t really think I knew, but who knew me because they see me walking my dog, have stopped me to ask how I am and if I need anything.

It will be slow going until I regain the use of my right hand. Thank you for your support.

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Letters to Lacey Part 16, Emma Accuses Johnny Boddie ****Completed June 21, 2015***

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Part 16  Sept. 21, 2009

Johnny Boddie

Emma starts off this letter telling “Lacey” she is in more messes than she cares to think about at the moment, but of course that blocks out any possibility of finding a solution, so perhaps she’d better think about them… The past two weeks have been creepily coincidental for Emma. She guesses she’d better start at the beginning, since that would make the most sense. It goes back to when she was in Jackson County Comprehensive High School (Jefferson, Ga.), in drama. She didn’t tell “Lacey” about this earlier because Emma had put a “mental block” on it. She knows that’s not healthy, but sometimes it’s easier than facing things. And up until now, Emma sort of thought it was behind her. She says she’s going to explain it quickly, and it may not completely make sense, but she’d rather not edit or revise this. She’d rather not think about it at all, but maybe “Lacey” has some advice that would help.

Emma really loved her drama teacher (Bonnie Roberts), and from day one, two students stood out as the best in the class. (Emma is referring to herself and a young man named Johnny Bodie.) Because they were the best, the two of them were always assigned to work together and the rest of the class enjoyed watching Emma and Johnny. If they were doing groups, Emma claims that everyone wanted to be in the group with Emma and Johnny. Johnny seemed nice, but almost too nice. It was like he was behind something more sinister. She tried to ignore it since, A) Emma has proven herself to be waaay paranoid and b) Emma did not have the tiniest reason to think she was right. Anyway, he was a junior and Emma sort of looked to him to know how to act in a school environment, since she’d never known one before. The two of them were cast as the two leads in the play which was no less than anyone expected. The one-act went off without a hitch, and Emma enjoyed it.

Some of the cast from the Jackson County Comprehensive High Shchool's production of Metamorphosis with teacher Bonnie Roberts.  Emma is 2nd from left.  Johnny Boddie is in the front, in the suit.  Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey,

Some of the cast from the Jackson County Comprehensive High Shchool’s production of Metamorphosis with teacher Bonnie Roberts. Emma is 2nd from left. Johnny Boddie is in the front, in the suit. Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey,

Then there was the “showcase,” the final at the end of the year that everyone had to participate in. They were in groups of five and of course, Emma was in Johnny’s group. Rehearsals went normally until final dress. After final, they were supposed to grab their props and head upstairs to the loft until people came in. Emma was half way up when she realized she’d forgotten her notebook and pen (her props) backstage. She could go up and face Mrs. Roberts’ wrath or she could run back and get them with her none the wiser. So, she ran down the stairs, through the curtains, back to the stage. It was nearly dark. She’d forgotten that Johnny would still be there, since he had to rig the curtain before the show, all by himself. Emma claims she put herself in a bad situation, and it was stupid of her to do so. She was so scared she didn’t know what to do. She pushed Johnny away and grabbed her props and ran. She sat on the staircase for a half hour or so, too shaken to go inside. No one missed her as it turned out. Emma says she couldn’t tell anyone. Her parents are prone to overreaction, and she doesn’t mean talking to the school. She means they would probably press criminal charges, and you know that would be all over the school in a heartbeat, so Emma didn’t tell, and she won’t now because it’s all behind her, but it’s just been creepy. First, he was in the paper, and she saw the picture, and then she met a couple of girls from the cast on Saturday, purely by chance. They wanted Emma to come see the show and they mentioned that Johnny had the lead. Emma tells “Lacey” that she can’t go to the play by herself because she would have to pass Johnny in the lobby as she left. She could get some friends to go but a) it would probably be a pretty bad show, and b) her friends life too far away. She wants to go, but just can’t.

AND…….Emma goes on to complain to “Lacey”, her mom wants her to try out for the school play next semester. She can’t. She can’t. She can’t. Emma knows she would get the lead, and he would too. But she can’t tell her mom that that is why she doesn’t want to go.

(I’ve mentioned this story about Johnny Boddie already, but for those of you who haven’t read it, here it is again.  I had heard Emma talk about Johnny before I saw him for the first time at school.  Most of the time, Emma sounded like she got along with Johnny ok, although I could tell she wasn’t crazy about him.  She claimed he was pompous, arrogant, stuck on himself… Emma claimed Johnny was engaged, but later said his girlfriend moved out of state, but he was still engaged although he flirted with any girl around and dated other girls even though he claimed to be engaged.  I thought it odd that a high school junior would be “engaged” and questioned Emma about it, wondering if she’d misunderstood something, but she insisted and I let it go.  I didn’t really care one way or the other.

When I saw Johnny in the play, he and Emma definitely stood out among the other kids.  They both had great, booming voices, and did very well.  Some of the kids spoke too softly.  Emma’s role was more of a narrator, so Metamorphosis didn’t really show her acting skills, but it was the female lead.  Johnny’s acting showed more of a variety of his skills I guess you would say, and he was very good.  Emma told me that Johnny had had some community theater experience, and I would have believed it.

In one scene, Johnny wore swim trunks, and he had some sort of sunken area or indention in the middle of his chest.  Emma claimed Johnny had been run over as a child, and that’s why his chest was the way it was.  I have no idea if this story is true either.  As for the whole attempted assault that Emma insinuates in this letter, Emma is lying when she tells “Lacey” that she couldn’t tell anyone.  Emma got in the car and COULDN”T WAIT to tell me about it.  I believe it was the night of the Showcase, which was a bunch of short skits.  I don’t really remember the skits now, but I do remember that all the kids wore black, and they did a great job.  I think there were some monologues, some duos, trios, and group skits.  It was a lot of fun to watch. 

After the show, I waited on Emma in the lobby, and we walked out to the car to head home.  I had wanted to take Emma out to dinner or something, but it was already late, and she had school the next day.  Emma never functioned well when she was short on sleep, and trying to get her out of bed in the morning would have been a nightmare if I’d kept her out too late.  I don’t think we got home until around 10pm, maybe later.  We weren’t even out of the school parking lot when Emma started telling me the story about how Johnny had tried to kiss her.  Knowing how paranoid Emma could be, I wondered if Johnny had just gotten in Emma’s personal space and maybe she took it the wrong way.  Emma explained that she’d forgotten something backstage and when she went back to get it off a shelf or something, Johnny was there and leaned in like he was going to kiss her.  She said she slapped him and ran away.  I didn’t quite believe the story, and asked Emma a lot of questions.  Was she sure he was trying to kiss her?  Did he say anything?  What was he doing backstage?………  Or was it perhaps a young man who may have had a crush on Emma and tried to steal a kiss?  Who knows?   Emma insisted that Johnny tried to kiss her and she slapped him.  I told her that well, if that’s how it happened, i thought she handled herself pretty well.  There was never any threat of pressing criminal charges against Johnny.  Emma was fine.  She wasn’t raped.  She wasn’t upset.  The one thing that was a little odd was that Emma begged me not to tell her dad what happened.  I told her that her dad would be proud of how she handled the situation, but Emma insisted I not tell Phill.  If you’ve read the blog, you know I didn’t keep secrets from Phill, so I did tell him about it, and of course that came back to bite me on the butt when Phill mentioned it after church one day.  Emma was FURIOUS with me for having told Phill about Johnny’s attempted assault.

So, just why does Emma tell “Lacey” that she couldn’t tell anyone about Johnny’s attempted kiss?  She was dying to tell me about it! As I mentioned earlier, I did attempt to contact Johnny Boddie one time and told him I wanted to ask him some things about Emma.  His response did sound rather pompous and arrogant, although a classmate did describe him as arrogant , she also said that the story about the attempted kiss did not sound like Johnny.    Johnny claimed to have had minimal contact with Emma and he did not recollect any conversations over topics other than school or the play.  He also said something about I should have more respect for Emma’s privacy.  All well and good, Johnny Boddie, but had Emma accused you of sexual assault, like she did the priest, I’m sure you would feel a little differently. 

Another interesting point is when Emma said she looked to Johnny to know how to act in a school environment because she had never known one before.  Huh?  Emma was in school for 4 years (grades K-3) and then in a homeschool arts program where she attended classes.  Yes, it was a bunch of homeschoolers, but it was in classrooms with teachers and the students had to change classes, etc.  It was what I would certainly call a school environment!  But I guess Emma needed to sound a little more dramatic.) To Be Continued………..  

Sept. 25, 2009

Another fun thing to look forward to, Emma tells “Lacey” is that her mom was on the phone with her friend Sandi (Sandra Brooks McCravy, Sandi McCravy). Actually they are on the phone all the time, but this time it has particularly undesirable consequences. Emma heard them talking about Johnathan (Johnathan McCravy), Sandi’s son, that Emma hadn’t seen in four years. And her mom gets off the phone and says, expecting Emma to be duly thrilled, “Guess What? A new dance school opened up over in Gainesville, and Sandi and I have decided to put you and Johnathan in dance lessons together! You’ll be partners! Isn’t that great?” Oh, yeah. Great For a multitude of reasons: Emma is not coordinated. She hasn’t seen this guy since they were in middle school, and she thinks she is finally actually in her first real relationship (with Evan) but she is in dance lessons with another guy. It’s not fair. And there’s not much she can do about it.

Emma’s mom has also decided that she is missing out on regular high school life. She had no problem homeschooling Emma in middle school, or pulling her out of public high school, but now she’s decided she wants Emma to have a regular school experience. She’s not actually sending her to school, but Jord told Emma she could come to homecoming with her group, and Emma’s mom wanted her to go to that. No way. Shed be alone in a huge group of people she didn’t know while Jordan was flitting around chatting with her enormous group of friends and she would be miserable. So now she’s hoping Evan will ask her to homecoming. And, she doesn’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a dress when she could be saving it for Haiti. She knows her parents would help her, and we’re not exactly struggling like some people are, but money is tight right now.

Emma tells “Lacey” to let her know what is going on with “Lacey” and Aaron. She asks what “Lacey’s” sister thinks and says that maybe if her sister tells her “rents” she likes him it will help? He sounds really sweet, and as long as he treats “Lacey” right, Emma approves.  Emma says to tell him if he breaks her heart, she has a psychopathic pen-pal who will make him sorry he was born. (Just kidding…..maybe…)


Well, at one point Sandi and I did discuss putting the kids in some sort of ballroom class, thinking it would be good for them. Emma often complained she didn’t know how to dance, and Sandi and I thought they might have fun and gain a little confidence in a class. Emma’s eavesdropping skills were off though because it wasn’t in Gainseville. Gainesville would have been a long drive for both of us. The class was in Winder, between Sandi’s home in Lawrenceville and our home in Hoschton. It was something we talked about, but it never came to pass, and the quotes that Emma made up of me telling her they will be partners and “isn’t that great?” is completely fabricated. I just mentioned that we talked about the class and asked Emma is she would like to try it. Sandi and I both thought the kids would like it if there was someone else they knew there.

Emma claims that she hadn’t seen Johnathan in four years. I’m not sure why Emma choose to say that. Sandi had taken the kids out of the homeschool program we were in, so we did not see them every week like we had been, but we still got together now and then. At times, we were both so busy with our kids school and activities that we might talk on the phone several times a week, and only got the kids together a couple of times a year. Four years? I guess if you’re going to exaggerate, go big!

More exaggeration and fabrication; Emma’s friend Jordan did invite her to homecoming with a group of Jordan’s girl friends. Emma loved dressing up, and I thought she might like to go with a group of girls, and just have fun, so I told her if she wanted to go it was fine. I thought it was sweet of Jordan to include Emma, but Emma wasn’t interested. As for money, it wouldn’t have cost Emma anything, because her dad and I would not have expected Emma to buy a dress, etc. We would have taken care of it for her.

Emma also exaggerates the story about me wanting Evan to invite her to his homecoming. Emma had a major crush on Evan and talked about him all the time, but I was not trying to up my daughter’s dating life. I did want to encourage Emma to do things with other kids because all she pretty much did was sit in front of the computer. It just didn’t seem right.

And the psychopathic pen-pal? Kind of prophetic.

Sept 28, 2009

Emma tells Lacey she is sorry she forgot to mail this letter last week. She will finish it and send it today. She hopes. She did a lot of school work and has nothing to really tell until the weekend. Well, actually nothing to tell until Friday after school. That counts as the weekend, right? She got her first Happeneing letter Friday morning (the church retreat that Emma told “Lacey about). Emma and Rob are both on team, and she’s excited. After you’ve been once, you are “on team”. They have a lot of applicants, but Emma and Rob were in the 50 people they chose. Emma was one of the seven people they chose to give a speech, which “Lacey” will of course read and tell Emma what she thinks once Emma writes it…..but she will explain more about it later.

Emma talks about how the youth group was supposed to go on a camping trip to lake Hartwell, but they couldn’t go because of rain, so on Fri. she called everyone because they still needed to work out what music they were using for the Sock Hop. Emma told them to meet at the church and Phill and I were to bring them home for lunch. Emma claimed it’s always fun to call Jordan’s house because with the four kids, the phone is randomly thrown around until it reaches the person you are trying to talk to. Sometimes it takes a few minutes. Eventually she got through to Jordan, though, she probably should have talked to Alex since she is a bit more responsible than her older sister, Lol. Then she talked to Rob’s voicemail, which is all she ever gets because he and Jordan both randomly lose their cell phones, but they’re not at their house, so there’s not home phone to call. Then she called Evan, and they ended up talking for 20 minutes about nothing in particular, although she has no clue how that happens. Evan told Emma he liked her, but he never said anything else about it. Emma doesn’t know what to think! Is he going to ask her out? She thought he was, but now she’s not sure. She has no clue and asks “Lacey” what she thinks.

Saturday came, and the kids met at church, except that somehow Jordan decided it was Friday, even though she wasn’t in school, and was very surprised when Emma called asking where she was. Emma says she couldn’t get through to Rob, but that would be solved later in the afternoon. The kids came to our home, and Emma says that Jordan totally took over, hich was fine with her. She knew exactly what songs she wanted to use, she just needed Emma’s dad to put it together. Emma told Evan before Jordan got there that Jordan knew what she wanted to do, and the rest of them were just there to keep her in check. Emma says she was half joking, but that was pretty much how it went. While Emma’s dad put the medley together, the kids played ping-pong in the garage. They always have fun with that. Jordan brought her iTouch and speakers out there, so she was too distracted with that to play well. Emma served her an easy shot and she closed her eyes and blocked her face with the paddle. The ball bounced off into one of the many impossible places in the garage, so of course Evan’s going, “I can get it!” Yes, Emma says, I realize you could move the si bookshelves and 12 boxes of books and junk we have out there, but it’s just not worth it to get a ping-pong ball. We keep about 12, and when we run out, it’s time to clean the garage. The system works fairly well.

Rob called Emma at least three times, not sure whether he could come or not. Then he called to apologize for not coming. Emma says they tease Rob because he always apologizes for everything multiple times. Jordan loves to tell the story about when they were passing notes in study hall and she wrote, “You apologize too much.” And he wrote back, “I’m sorry.” So they were out playing ping-pong and Alex said, “Emma, you play Rob.” She meant Evan of course, and we all knew it, but Evan starts going, “I’m sorry Emma I’m really sorry…” which about killed them because it was just like Rob.

Ok, totally changing gears, Emma says she just got “Lacey’s” e-mail. First off, she says not to worry about talking too much about Aaron. Emma tells “Lacey” that she loves her and wants to hear everything she has to say. It is a huge first for “Lacey” and Emma says it is totally natural for her to be nervous and to think about him all the time. Emma mentions that they have talked about walls, and how she does the same thing. She is scared to let people in, and “Lacey” is literally the only person she is totally honest with. She is not a pathological liar, but she just doesn’t tell people what she is thinking. She knows “Lacey” does the same thing. It is easier when people think you have no problems and you’re this happy plastic person…

Or are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we’ll close the curtains
On our stained glass masquerade

Emma tells Lace that that is from by Stained Glass Masquerade Casting Crowns. It just ran through her head as she was writing, and it totally fits. What’s really funny is that “Lacey” said exactly what Emma has said for years. The more she lets people in, the more they can hurt her. That is exactly what Emma has struggled with. To give it a fancy psychologist name, it’s a trust issue. But someday “Lacey” will want to get married, and to do that, she has to trust Aaron. Yes, when he goes to college, he will meet other girls, but that temptation doesn’t disappear when he graduates! Just, hypothetically, let’s fast forward seven years and say they are married; there will be other women where he works other women at church, other women in the grocery store, and for “Lacey” there will be a ton of other men that she will meet and probably several that she will work closely with. They both have to trust each other! But for a relationship to be built on a firm foundation, that trust is not going to come overnight! Emma is glad “Lacey” doesn’t trust him immediately! She shouldn’t. If “Lacey” gives him her heart before he’s ready to take care of it, the chance of “Lacey” getting hurt goes waaay up. But if she date’s him for a year, keeps in contact while he’s in college, she’ll learn to trust him! Don’t worry about him finding another girl in college—there are other girls in high school! If he’s decided she’s the one he likes, then she has a ton of respect for him based purely on that. “Lacey” is sweet, smart, and classy. And that’s not going to change just because they don’t go to the same school anymore.

Emma says that “Lacey asks basically why she should give him a chance to break her heart? Emma struggles with the same thing, but whenever you start dating, you will have to eventually give someone the chance to do that. Emma wishes she could remember where she ready what she is about to say because she knows it was more eloquently phrased, but here it is: Your first love is taking a chance. You are letting someone else control whether you have to [sic] happiest time of your life or the most painful heartbreak. But that was from a secular perspective, so let Emma add a bit to it. God wants to save you from the most painful kind of heartbreak. Emma is not saying for a minute that “Lacey” would ever consider breaking the 7th commandment (thou shalt not commit adultery), Emma is just saying that if she did, losing him would hurt a hundred times worse. While Emma and “Lacey” may (and probably will) love and lose, they will never lose as badly as they would if they didn’t have God in their lives. And He will be by them every step of the way.

As far as for “Lacey” being nervous to talk to Aaron, Emma says that if he’s that understanding, he’s better than 95% of the guys out there, but “Lacey” will have to giver herself time to get used to this, and Emma promises it will get easier. “Lacey” will still love him, but she will get to the point where she’s not so nervous talking to him. And as for thinking of things she should have said, we all do that! Emma guarantees that every girl “Lacey” meets has been through the same thing. She’s surprised she can do so well texting, but if she can, good for her! And the more she texts, the more comfortable she will eventually be talking to him.

Emma talks about school and asks “Lacey” about a beach trip she took, and then gets back to walls, telling “Lacey” another thing about the walls: she thinks it’s easier for “Lacey” and Emma to talk because they aren’t talking face to face. Emma knows she could never tell “Lacey” everything she does if they were because it’s so hard to talk, but on paper, she can think until she knows what to say and then revise it until it makes sense. Texting is almost the same, but in face-to-face situations it’s really hard to know what to do, and Emma always wishes there was a backspace key.

Emma says she hopes she was some help and that she is more or less going through the same thing, so she doesn’t really have any experience to base her advice on. It’s just what she has read and what she’s learned watching other people. She tells “Lacey” to keep her updated and she won’t get tired of hearing it, and talking to each other helps both of them, and then signs off: Love ya!! Emma-Kate.

The ping-pong ball story is another silly exaggeration, and not quite the truth.

I find it interesting that Emma claims not to be a pathological liar, as well as how much advice Emma can give on relationships when, at that point, she’d never even been on a date. Interesting too that Emma is so interested in the 7th commandment, but doesn’t have any trouble breaking a few others.

Letters to “Lacey” Part 15

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Kate Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Part 15 September 14, 2009 Emma starts off asking “Lacey” how she is and saying she hadn’t heard from her in a while. She talks about babysitting T. on Friday and complains that T. had a hissy fit when Emma told her she had to eat half her noodles. Emma says that T. never wants to eat dinner but always wants popcorn and junk food. Emma tells “Lacey” that T. went insane. She started trying to wipe her mouth on Emma’s shirt (she knows that’s a no-no) and when Emma pushed her away, she just went nuts. T. threw her entire plate on the floor and slung a bowl of Ranch dressing on the wall, knocked the juice boxes to the floor and she was laughing the whole time. .. Emma didn’t know what to do. She had never been that bad. Nothing Emma said or did got her attention. Finally, Emma grabbed her by t the shoulders and marched her into the living room. “You are going to sit on this chair and face the wall until you get this thing out of your system. I am not dealing with this, T. You do not move until I come back from cleaning up your mess. Do not move.” Finally Emma got through to her. Emma could hear her sobbing while she cleaned up the kitchen, which was no small task. When Emma finished, T. was repentant enough to eat half her noodles in exchange for a promise of popcorn. They watched Lady and the Tramp in peace, and then the next crisis struck. Emma reminds “Lacey” that she had mentioned that T was going to be Emma’s flower girl when she got married. Well, T. decided that Emma had waited long enough. “Miss Emma, you need to get married for my birthday.” Her birthday was the following month. Ummmm, Emma thought …… no. She Tried to Explain to T. that she was not getting married for a long time and T. had another meltdown. “But I want you to get married now!” Emma said she felt bad for T. but sheesh, she was crying over her babysitter’s wedding! (I wasn’t there, so I don’t know for sure, but I sincerely doubt the story about T. throwing food on the floor and on the walls is a lie. T. was a very active little girl, but she adored Emma and would do anything she asked. I never heard her mom or grandmother talk about T. doing anything like Emma described. I do not think they would have tolerated that kind of behavior. Also, if T. had acted so bratty, as Emma described, I’m sure Emma would have complained about it when she got home from babysitting. She always came home and told me everything that went on when she babysat. I never heard this story, so I doubt it happened.) Emma says church was her one almost blissfully uneventful time. She ended up helping with Children’s Chapel, which was a kid-friendly service during the sermon so that the adults could hear the sermon. Emma talks about how she’d rather hear the Children’s sermon than the priest’s because his usually start out good but then wander in the wilderness for forty years. In other words, we start talking about prayer and then we’re talking about duct tape and it is like, how’d that happen? Ah, the joys of an ADD priest. Unlike Jordan, Emma does try to pay attention in church, but it’s hard. The youth group was dramatic the previous night. Emma was talking to Evan when Jordan ran past them and out the door, and Evan looked at Emma because everyone knows that anything Jordan does is Emma’s fault (or at least it seems like it…). “That’s not good…” Emma had no clue what happened, because she wasn’t watching, but apparently both Rob and Jordan were talking about the Sock Hop being the same day as homecoming… and Rob is asking someone to Homecoming. That someone not being Jordan. Emma ran outside and saw her halfway down the nature trail. The two girls sat on some benches and Jordan just cried about wanting a boyfriend and wanting a date for homecoming. Emma said Evan came to look for them and Jordan hid her face against Emma’s shoulder saying she didn’t want him to see her like that. Emma told Jordan it was ok because it was only Evan, and Jordan whispered pathetically, “Please make him go away.” So Emma asked Evan to get her purse from the church, and thank goodness Emma had her makeup from taking it on the canoe trip. She told Jordan they would fix her makeup and then go back inside. Jordan asked if she looked that awful, and Emma wrote her thoughts in the letter, “Um, yes, actually…not that I’d tell you that.” But she said to Jordan, “No hun, your mascara’s just running. I’m going to use a make-up removing wipe to get it off, but I’ll have to take your eye shadow, foundation, and blush, too.” Once Jordan looked presentable, they trooped back into church. Emma said Jordan wasn’t broken hearted for five seconds before she was plotting. “You know Allie’s little brother? He never comes…. He’s cute.” And talks about how they should get him to come to the youth group. With the crisis abated, they go on planning for the sock hop skit. It was to be a Grease theme. Jordan and Rob will be at homecoming. A couple of younger girls agree to be in the skit as long as they don’t have speaking roles, so that leaves Emma and Evan. Emma says she thinks “Lacey” can see where this is going. Ms. Karen, the youth leader, is just thrilled with that one, as is Emma’s mother even though she swears she’ll pay money not to have to come to the dance. (I don’t know how much of this story is true or not. I’d have to check with Jordan. Emma did tell me about Jordan being upset about not being asked by Rob to Homecoming, but she never mentioned the make-up part of the story. Emma usually gave me every detail of their youth group meetings, so I doubt this part of the story is true—- Emma the make-up artist. Also, I never said I would pay not to have to go to the sock hop. I was looking forward to seeing the kids perform the Grease skit. In fact, we had the kids at our home to work on it, and Phill spliced the music together the way they wanted it for the skit.) Sept. 17, 20009 Emma starts off on this day with, “Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhatguesswhat? I has coffee!” Saying that is how she feels when she has coffee, very enthusiastically repetitive… “Coffee: do stupid things faster with more energy.” Emma goes on about her cofee saying she completely earned the Starbucks’ coffee she had which was big, tall, and sugary because she had to go through a whole formal portrait sitting at JCPennys. Emma states three times in a row that she hates pictures, particular when she is the only one in them. She goes on about having to wear a formal dress, complains about the posing, etc. Then Emma goes on to say that by the way, coffee doesn’t really do anything to her. She is like her dad and can drink a huge coffee and go right to sleep, but she thinks it is a mental thing that coffee makes her hyper, although it doesn’t if she’s tired.

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

(Actually, it was not a formal dress, but a knee length summer sun dress that Emma wore for her picture. And while her dad could drink a pot of coffee and go to bed, Emma could not. I did not allow Emma to have coffee in the evening because she would get all wound up and not go to bed if she did.) Emma goes on….. she is out of her “formal” dress and hells and in a mock-t and sweats. Emma goes on to say she is always cold. Seriously, she is always cold. Partially, it is because she is underweight and in the 13th percentile of height for girls her age and her weight is not even on the charts. (This is more fabrication by Emma. At the time of this writing, Emma was about 5’ 3.5” . I don’t know where she got 13%. If you look up a growth chart, at the age of 15 and a height of 5’3.5” Emma would have been, depending on which chart you look at, well over the 50th percentile. She was not underweight at this time and her weight was NEVER not on the growth charts. Also, if you’ve been reading the blog, you can go back to an earlier post where I told the story about Emma putting the bruise on her and on the one winter’s day that Phill happened to be driving Emma to school, Emma let her jacket slip down so her Daddy could see the bruise on her arm that she claimed was caused by her mother. Funny, how this child who was ALWAYS cold and who NEVER wore a t-shirt to school, even under a jacket, chose to wear a t-shirt to school the day her daddy was driving her to school. Here, in Emma’s own words, you can see she was wearing a mock-t and sweats in September.)) Emma goes on to complain about her height and then says she sounded like her friend Jordan by complaining. Emma tells “Lacey” she had to call the kids in the church youth group about some plans the following weekend, and oh, she needs a girlfriend right now. She called Evan, and when he picked up the phone, he said he had been wanting to call Emma but was afraid to. Evan says he is going to the movie tomorrow “with you” and Emma has the jitters. Is Evan her boyfriend. Did that happen? What does she tell her parents? Ok, don’t hyperventilate….don’t hyperventilate. It’s ok. Everything’s ok, right? Emma asks “Lacey” to e-mail her ASAP! And signs, “Love ya!, Emma-Kate”

Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Emma Kate Roey, Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey

Mother’s Day Update on Emma (Edited 5/12/15)

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

When Emma was about 3, we got our first guinea pig, whom Emma named Milkbone, from the Atlanta Humane Society.  She was a great little pig, and lived 5 1/2 years.  Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

When Emma was about 3, we got our first guinea pig, whom Emma named Milkbone, from the Atlanta Humane Society. She was a great little pig, and lived 5 1/2 years. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma Getting Married Again ?

And Happy Mother’s Day!

Several people have asked me about Emma, so I will share a few things I’ve heard. I’ve been thinking about Mother’s Day lately, listening to friends making plans and such, and I wanted to send Emma a Mother’s Day message, but of course, I won’t send Emma anything privately because she would try to get a restraining order against me. Emma can contact me, but I cannot contact her. The rules according to Emma.
The last I heard, when Emma’s boyfriend in Ohio sent her packing, choosing his family over his girlfriend and the havoc she was creating for his family, Emma went home, moving back in with her dad and got a dog. She is majoring in counseling, so I assume she will be working on a Master’s Degree.
Emma blocked me from her facebook back in 2011, and she later changed her name on Facebook to Katie Smith. Sometime after that, she created another “Emma Roey” on Facebook, but did not block me from that one, so I keep seeing her name in the “People You May Know” section. I am assuming Emma wanted me to see this and she created this “Emma Roey” who lives in Seattle, so that people could find her easily and she could redirect them to her Katie Smith Facebook. I thought it was kind of funny for someone who has nothing to hide, don’t you think? You can block anyone from your facebook, so why would you need another identity? Maybe Emma’s hoping I will send her a friend request so she can work on that restraining order.

The new Emma Roey Facebook is very private, just saying that she lives in Seattle, worked at Ferrero Rocher (Yum!), Studied at the University of Washington, and her likes include such Christian sites as Focus on the Family, God is Good, Jesus Daily, Mike and Ike, Jewelure, Berricle (more jewelry) and Oreo.

Focus on the Family  (Kind of Ironic, don't you think?)

Focus on the Family (Kind of Ironic, don’t you think?)

GodisGood
Jesus Daily

Jesus Daily

Emma always put a lot of pressure on herself with all the things she heard people say about being an only child, being homeschooled, being a Christian. Unfortunately, Emma lived up to all the negative stereotypes of all three of these. At one time, I thought she would set an example and clear up some of these stereotypes of how only children spoiled, selfish, etc., and how homeschoolers are weird and unsocialized, and Christians are hypocrites and better than everyone. I think Emma has also let a lot of children down who truly were sexually molested and abused. People that Know Emma’s story begin to doubt other stories they hear. Other victims will hear Emma’s story and be afraid to speak up because they will feel like if kids like Emma lied about being molested, who is going to believe their own story.

I heard that Emma will be leaving town again, which is no surprise. The longer Emma stays in one place, the more likely she’s liable to get caught in her lies.

Someone recently sent me a link to a page where one Emma Roey is getting married to a Jackson Miller in Cape Girardeau, Mo., Sept 19th 2015, exactly 3 months before Emma’s 22nd birthday. Whether this is my Emma Roey or some other Emma Roey, I have no idea. Whether Jackson Miller is a real person, or someone Emma made up so that she could have another fiancé. I probably shouldn’t be expecting an invitation. Perhaps Emma wanted people to think she is engaged again, I have no idea about that either. I was telling a friend about seeing the wedding announcement on a site called The Knot, and I told her that I’m not even sad for me. Yes, at one time, I was devastated utterly heartbroken about losing my husband and my daughter, but when I hear some of the things I’ve heard about Emma, I’m just sad———for her. I feel like Emma’s life is like watching that train wreck in slow motion. Emma will never have a normal life. I’m not sure even if she got “real” help she could have a normal life. Yes, she may get married one day, but it won’t last. It’s just sad to me to know what a disaster my daughter’s life is headed for. Emma can have a big, beautiful wedding, but slowly the ugly will seep back out. It can’t hide forever. Emma tries to make everything appear normal, but as another professional pointed out to me that Emma does exactly what mentally ill people do. She knows there’s something wrong, but she doesn’t want people to think it is with her, so she turns the tables on other people. This person was explaining to me how Emma felt trapped and cornered, so she had to turn on me a few years ago. Something about how mentally ill people have to get the focus off of themselves.

Since my divorce, I’ve had a lot of adventures that I wished I could share with Emma. Things I’ve wished I could tell her about. At one time, Emma and I could talk and talk and talk, but now I am everything that is wrong with her life. She needs someone to blame. Of course, the Emma I remember is not the Emma of now, and in fact never was the Emma I thought I knew.

I appreciate those who’ve asked how I am doing. I’m actually doing pretty well. I like my work, and people seem to like me. It’s funny to go from a very introverted wife and mom back into the working world. I laugh about something that happens at work and wish I could share it with Emma, but I can’t. I even thought how Emma would think I was a cool mom, rather than that boring stay-at-home mother she knew.
Recently, I took a class on line for the first time. I hated it, and I could understand why Emma spent all her time, when she was in school on line, instant messaging and writing letters instead of doing her school work. I could understand why she failed her Physics class. On line classes can be really boring!! Also, not being particularly tech savy, when I started the class, I was wishing Emma was around to help me navigate the on line class, but I managed to get through it.

The other day at work, I met someone who was talking about driving up north to help her granddaughter drive down with two little ones. I told her that I never would have been brave enough to make a drive like that alone with two little ones, so I thought it was great that she was going up to help make the trip. We got to talking, and I told her about when Emma was about 2, maybe 2 ½ and we were driving to New Jersey. We’d taught Emma the song, “You are my Sunshine” and we sang it a lot that trip. Phill was never one to stop and spend the night, so we would drive from Georgia to New Jersey in about 18 hours or so. Poor Emma was so fed up with sitting in the car seat that we started singing, trying to distract her, and Emma banged her little fists on the car seat and changed the words to:
You are NOT my sunshine
My NOT only sunshine
You make me NOT happy
When skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I NOT love you
Please don’t NOT take my sunshine away…
It was so cute, but Emma was NOT a happy camper on that long car ride!

People ask me about Emma, and you can almost see it in their eyes, “Thank God it’s not my child.” Because I work with the public, I’ve met many people who’ve been through similar things with their own children. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don’t. I’ve heard some stories similar to my own, and I’ve heard worse. I knew Emma wasn’t mine to keep, my job was to raise her and hopefully turn her into an responsible adult. What Happened? I don’t know. I just have to repeat something another parent told me. “We didn’t raise her that way.” I thought Phill and I had done a pretty good job raising Emma until the poop hit the proverbial fan. I remember so many times when she was about 16 thinking that we were almost there. I know high school is a difficult age, but if we could just get her to college, I knew she would love college and do well. Emma, with her high IQ, could do anything she set her mind to. For years, she wanted to be a pediatrician, and I thought she would make a great one. The thought of Emma being a counselor scares me, and I can’t tell you the number of people who know Emma who have voiced their fears about this. A psychologist told me that with what Emma did to her mother, this would definitely be the wrong career for her because of her lack of empathy. No doubt, Emma will be able to charm her way along for a while. I am just praying she doesn’t damage any other families in her career. Of course, I pray every day for Emma. I’ve accepted that I may never see her again in this lifetime. I hope she gets the help she needs, but all that is out of my control now, so all I can do is pray for Emma.

Well, Happy Mother’s Day Emma. You are always in my heart no matter where you roam. I’m sure Daddy is up at Joe Nall this weekend, so I’m guessing you either went with him or are at home. You’ve probably made plans to spend with your “other mommy” Sandra Brooks McCravy for Mother’s day. Have fun!

if at first

And thanks to my readers!  I will get back to posting Emma’s Letters to “Lacey” as soon as I can.  I’ve been very busy lately, but something that has been taking up a lot of my time is coming to an end soon, so I will have a little more time soon. And thank you for bearing with my errors and typos. I’m usually rushing to write, and I know I need to edit better, but for now, I’m just trying to get my thoughts down when I have a little time!

Letters to “Lacey” Part 14

If you are new to this blog, you may want to read the posts “In a Nutshell” or go to July 2012 and read “Sending out a Letter.” My daughter Emma Katherine Roey lied about a friend being raped and attempting suicide, claimed to have been molested by a priest, and then, just as her attorneys were about to file a law suit, Emma accused her mother (me) of physically abusing her and later of poisoning her with DDT. Emma claimed to have a toxicology report to confirm that her mother (me, again!) poisoned her, but would never turn over this report to my attorney. If you read through the blog, you will find many other examples of Emma’s lying. At one point, she even complained about the way her dad touched her and that he called her a “bitch” and a “slut” everyday. (I refused to listen to her when she talked about her dad like that.) As long as Emma continues with the lies, I will tell her story. Love and thanks to all of you who read and have written to me. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: losingemma@gmail.com Please continue to share the blog with others.

(There is a large gap between Emma’s letters from June to September. I do not know if Emma was hand writing instead of e-mail. At some point, the girls began texting a lot and quit writing, but that may have been later. Over the summer of 2009, Emma went on a mission trip with Eternal Hope of Haiti. I don’t remember how many were on the trip, but it was a small group: the director (a Nurse Practitioner) and her husband who lived in our neighborhood, another NP who was a neighbor, two college aged girls named Brandi, who I think was a medical assistant, and Leah Jung, a future medical student at Emory University. Emma roomed with Brandi and Leah, and while she liked Leah, she had nothing nice to say about Brandi. That summer, Emma also went with her church youth group to Cherokee, N.C., and Phill went along as a chaperone. On the last day, my sister had come down from CT., so we drove up to Cherokee for the events, and a friend from church rode with us.)

Emma (front and center) and some of the kids from her church youth group.  Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Emma (front and center) and some of the kids from her church youth group, as well as Phill, and Ms. Karen (green sweater) who was the youth group leader. Emma Roey, Emma Katherine Roey, Emma Kate Roey

Sept 7, 2009

Emma says hello from her lonely house sitting self. Emma says she is probably going home today and that she did get out yesterday (Sunday) so that was nice. Emma talks about church and how Jordan was serving, and after she’d disrobed she joined Emma downstairs in the parish hall with the distraught announcement, “That cute guy I was watching during the sermon is gone!” Emma says she tries to listen to the sermon, but Jordan fantasizes about guys that don’t know she exists. Sigh. She can’t change her but has to love her for what she is… “That guy” says Emma is actually Loydon, the little brother of a girl who graduated the previous year. Emma says she doesn’t know anything about him and neither does Jordan, but that doesn’t stop her from deciding she’s in love with him.

Sunday afternoon, Emma went over to Jordan’s house, since she did not live far from where Emma was housesitting. Emma says it was that or have her mom come get her for the youth group meeting and then have to stay through it. Emma doesn’t like it when her “rents” come because it’s the one bit of time she has without them hovering over her. Plus she enjoys hanging out with Jordan…sometimes. “I mean I love her, but she worries me.” Says Emma about Jordan. Also being with Jord for the afternoon gives Jordan time to formulate her scheme for Emma’s life so she was really glad that Evan was not there that night. Emma says Jordan’s current genius plan is to tell Evan to ask Emma out and for Emma to tell Loydon to ask Jordan out. Apparently, Emma is not to say, “Hi, you’ve never seen me before, but my best friend that you don’t even know exists wants you to ask her out.” That is not a conversation Emma is willing to have. She has told Jordan a million times that she’s not allowed to advise Emma or Evan about what to do with their lives, but somehow that hasn’t sunk in yet. Case in point, Emma walks out of the bathroom to see Jordan facing away from her, bent over something. Jordan’s little brother Kyle walks over to Emma and says, “I don’t know what you’re doing. But I’m pretty sure you’re in trouble. She went through your purse.” That is all Emma needs to know, that is how well Emma knows Jordan. Emma goes to Jordan and tells her to give her her cell phone. Now. She says that she can see her fingers and she knows where the send button is and that if Jordan touches it, her Itouch will magically disappear. Jordan snaps the phone closed and hands it back to Emma. Emma says that Jordan doesn’t know it, but Emma’s phone saves all unsent text messages in a Drafts folder, so she wasn’t surprised (but you should have seen Jordan’s face!) when her phone’s automated voice announced sweetly, “You have an unsent message to…….Evan………..Br……would you like to send it now?” “Hmmmm,” Emma says she doesn’t remember texting Evan. Let’s see what the message says, Jordan. Come here, don’t you want to see? It’s a mystery………

…Emma tells Jordan she needs to work on her impersonating skills, dear. Jordan wrote “ily” and Emma doesn’t type like that, she types things out. Emma says it is easier to make a joke that to blow up at Jordan although she does deserve it. Jordan says, “Ok! Fix it and send it.” But Emma tells her she is not silly enough to think she would do that. Give it up Jordan. Not going to work. Nice try.

Emma said they had the girls at the youth group, Emma, Jordan, Alex, and Ari, and ended up messing around and playing Apples to Apples. Jordan kept getting cards and complaining she didn’t know who the people were. She would show Emma her hand, so Emma would try to help with the fairly obvious ones. “Eleanor Roosevelt. Think Jord. Doesn’t Roosevelt sound familiar?” “Oooh, I know! There was the tv show about the black guy!” At this poing Ms. Karen and Ms. Shanna (the youth group leaders) are sitting there as so many people do, silently blaming Emma for Jordan’s general Jordan-ness.“

Later, Emma got a card she couldn’t resist teasing Jordan with. The card said, “Prince Charming”, but of course it had to backfire when Ms. Karen said, “No, but you do.” (Referring to Emma’s prince—Evan.) So Emma replied innocently, “How would I know who Jordan’s prince charming is?” And to make things even better, Emma complains, her mom has to give her advice on the whole situation. She actually wants to go along with Jordan, can you believe that??? This past year she’s gone from being psycho-overprotective-my-daughter-can’t-date-til-she’s-thirty-mom to being Emma-and-Evan-are-getting-married-isn’t-this-great-mom. Emma says she doesn’t know which mom she prefers as they both drive her crazy, and her dad continues to stick to his one request, “I don’t care what you do, but please don’t get pregnant.” So, in a nutshell, Emma says she has no one sane to talk to at home. She is hoping “Lacey” can come visit at Christmas break. Sheesh. Sometimes she thinks she will write a soap opera based on her life!

(Well, I did enjoy seeing Emma have a little bit of a social life and a little fun, but no, I wasn’t doing any wedding planning, and she never told me about Jordan’s plan, so I didn’t give her any advice on that one. And no, “Lacey” never came to visit.)

Emma mentions talking to Evan on the phone the night before. She says that is the irony: that Jordan takes one look at a guy and decides she loves him and he loves her back and that is all there is to it. Emma has known Evan for years and despite what everyone else says and thinks, she doesn’t know whether to think he likes her or not…or what it means if he does. High School: the best years of your life. Ha. They’re also the most painful, the most complicated, the hardest…all Emma can think about is that it would be her worst nightmare if she and Evan started dating and ended up like Jordan and Rob after they broke up. Emma doesn’t think she is mature enough for a “good” break up. She cries when flower wilt. She cries at midnight in her room when no one can hear her, but still. Anyway, thanks for listening, Emma says, and being sympathetic to her totally melodramatic life. Love ya!! Write Soon! Emma-Kate